August 13th, 2010

Fact Check: Bouncing Bryony Boobs Column

Shock waves have been sent through the national media today by The Telegraph’s Bryony Gordon. Seemingly tasked with making Colonels splutter into their cornflakes, the former 3am Girl this week devoted her entire column to her ample bosom and the debate surrounding topless sunbathing. Something about the piece got Guido thinking, so he got the Guy News Fact Check team on the case.

In the article Bryony claims:

“When I go on holiday, I like to sunbathe topless. The beach towel goes down, the book comes out, and the bikini top flies off, often in the direction of a startled looking friend who has clearly never seen a pair of breasts before. Topless sunbathing is a wonderful thing, a holiday in itself from underwired bras… Many believe that the topless sunbather is an exhibitionist, a minx and a strumpet. They are mistaken – mostly, we just don’t like tan lines. And we don’t mind our breasts. Is that such a bad thing?

But the picture tells a different story. Here is Bryony snapped on holiday, displaying clear and obvious tan-lines where her bikini top has been. Fact Check verdict? Fiction.


351 Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    She should provide proof ….

    • 6
      Paddy Pantsdown says:

      I could agree with that…

      • 9
        Dick the Prick says:

        Fiction or friction?

      • 13
        Headless in Gaza says:

        Topless and lifeless on Guido’s favourite beach.

        • 20
          Fuckwit Twatter says:

          Good old Hamas, they’re not blood thirsty at all are they. they don’t indisciminately murder people do they.

          • EDL says:

            Palestinians, they’re all just like Mother Teresa.

          • The IDF says the IDF didn't do it. Case closed. says:

            The IDF’s conclusion that it was not responsible for the deaths on the beach was based exclusively on information gathered by the IDF and excluded all evidence gathered by other sources.

          • Mr Ned says:

            @ 20, Fuckwit Twatter, Nobody in their right mind would defend Hamas killing anyone. But they do not kill anywhere near as many innocent people as are indiscriminately murdered by Israel No!

            But it’s OK for Israel to blow up schools and UN compounds and kill innocent unarmed parents in front of their kids, and to shoot kids in front of their parents and to sexually abuse kids in front of their parents and shoot foreign aid workers and drive tanks over innocent people…

            The double standards of people who are pathetic and sick apologists for Israel’s crimes against humanity are shocking. Nobody in their right mind would defend Hamas killing anyone, so why is it OK for Israel to be an even worse terrorist state, to kill far far far far more innocent people than Hamas could ever kill?

          • 9/11 Troofer says:

            I know a faked performance of events when i see them and this is defintely a faked performance.

          • Luke says:

            This one goes out to all you troofers;

          • concrete kook says:

            more straw man bullshit from a tinybrained wanker

          • Angry and Despondent says:

            This so called massacre committed by the evil Isr-ay-elis was just more Palestinian propaganda. Interesting that immediately after the Palestinians took their propaganda pictures for the benefit of a credulous international media, the site was cleared of any fragments of the missile which killed these people. Now you would think that if the fragments bore Israeli munitions markings they would have been displayed for all the world to see. No such evidence was ever shown.

            It turned out that the missile was one of Hamas’ own (supplied by Iran) which had misfired. Still, why let the death and misery they caused to their own people go to waste when lefties around the world believe any Israeli atrocity story Hamas wish to propogate.

          • desperate lies from desperate liars says:

            aren’t any of you shills ashamed at how blatant the IDF propaganda is?

          • I Loathe Tesco, Too says:

            No, but they may do it indiscriminately.

        • 27
          No oscars for those actors says:

          Staged as fuck

          • Fake productions inc says:

            Wheres the blast zone and why are the items undamaged and people lying their without any burns?

          • Headless in Gaza says:

            Are you a denier?

          • Its Bullshit says:

            Are you an apologist for ara­b ter­rorism?

          • I am Sick says:

            Yet another Paliwood production for the gullible and witless. The entire fiction has been debunked many times, Google it you idiotic drone.

          • Allah works in mysterious ways says:

            Depends whats in it for me? give me two pretty muslim wives and some saudi gold or oil money and i’ll change my tune to one more soothing to your ears and worldview.

          • Yahweh works in mysterious ways says:

            The same applies to the Israelis, I hear they need friends and supporters currently, two pretty israeli wives and a pot of money and this gun will work for them.

          • those dead bodies are clearly computer graphics says:

            amazing how stupid some people are
            the little girl was obviously coached into hysteria too
            did i mention there were WMD in Iraq?

          • those bodies are live pretending to be dead says:

            Easy. Give the lass a reet slap and tell her her dad is dead. Hysteria on tap.

            Clear fake. Stupid t­at fell for it.

          • fuckwit says:

            itz fake becoz I an the IDS say so innits ?

          • Nick Griffin says:

            do you know what else is fake and staged as fuck ?

          • the most stupid thing said on this thread says:

            “those bodies are live pretending to be dead”

            Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the biggest fuckwit of the month.

          • Actually says:

            They got up in the ambulance after the cameras stopped rolling, collected their pay check and fucked off.

        • 30
          Benjamin Netanyahu says:

          Because god forbid the Israelis respond to a shitload of rockets falling in their territory…

          • Ampers says:

            I read the messages up to now with great amusement. Not because I am for or against either of the two sides, but because of all the wasted energy over the problems over there.

            Let’s face it, nothing any of us can do will make any difference in that area so why not work out how you are going to survive the next five years in Blighty? Best place for all that energy, than waste it with the Israili/Palestinian conflich – nothing will make any difference there.

            Ampers

          • Realist says:

            … virtually none of which ever hit anything.
            There aren’t that many people who live in range of them. Of course if those that do were moved, how would Israel be able to claim victimhood and steal more land?

          • Realist my arse says:

            The point of the rocket attacks is to provoke Israel into retaliation so that Ha­m­as can claim victimhood.

            But it is the folk in the camps who cop it. The Ha­m­as elite are well out of range sitting in their water parks or shopping in the Edgware Road.

            Poor old Tat just doesn’t get it.

        • 194
          Mr Propaganda says:

          Give them fucking lying bastards an Oscar each!

        • 317
          Anonymous says:

          If only it wasn’t fake we could rejoice in the death of more terrorist scum.

      • 97

        she should be modest and wear a Burkini

    • 21
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      I would be quite happy to assist her in getting them out…

      Seeing the photo they are clearly snorkel ready…we dive at dawn!!!

    • 81
      Adam Boulton says:

      Kay doesn’t have any tan lines… and she waxes.

      • 84
        tit says:

        yes maybe but she needs a very big bag on her head ‘cos shes an ugly c’unt with a condescending tone to everything she does so a gag would help too.

    • 128
      Engineer says:

      I’ve said it before, and I daresay I’ll say it again – the things some women will do just for a Guido Fawkes “totty-watch” tag….

    • 147
      Anonymous says:

      she was topless…..it was just that russell brand’s arse was blocking out the sun……..

    • 199
      Smig says:

      Hmm underwired, and given some assistance from a bit of padding to squeeze the bosom and create cleavage.

      Nice pair of norks, but seen and played with bigger. Next.

    • 351
      Mary Sweeney says:

      Get your jugs out!

  2. 2
    Wyrdtimes says:

    Definitely requires closer scrutiny

  3. 3
    Tim Lovejoy BBC Legend says:

    Hi, i’m Tim Lovejoy and i’m a BBC legend who likes Byrony Gordon’s tits.

  4. 4
    Beach Voyeur says:

    A picture is worth a thousand words. Fap,etc.

  5. 5
    The optical illusion says:

    Who really cares if this silly bint gets her baps out or not. The article is a pathetically boring long whine about a pretentious bint and her baps!

  6. 7
    Russell Brand says:

    I can confirm Bryony Gordon has got a massive pair of tits.

  7. 10
    Gordon Brown says:

    I don’t like women.

  8. 12
    Geeza Drenkybazza says:

    How did she get a job writing such drivel?

  9. 14
    Fuckwit Twatter says:

    Who gives a sh1t about the bint. She’s a fuckwit, give her twat about the bonce.
    and her tits are saggy. urgh! Fucking upturned bowls of rice pudding…..

  10. 15
    Bryony Gordon says:

    Fap to this, lads!

    • 43
      A Goddess In The Flesh says:

      FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

    • 139
      fapper says:

      Tarquin is a twat’s name.

      • 150
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        Lars Porsena of Clusium,
        By the Nine Gods he swore.
        He would have sworn by ten
        If there had been one more.

        • 341
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          For those who do not remember, those who never learned or those too lazy to look it up, the orthodox version:

          Lars Porsena of Clusium
          By the Nine Gods he swore
          That the great house of Tarquin
          Should suffer wrong no more.
          By the Nine Gods he swore it,
          And named a trysting day,
          And bade his messengers ride forth,
          East and west and south and north,
          To summon his array.

          Horatius by Thomas Babington Macaulay

          There follows another sixty nine stanzas.

    • 141
      Dick Scratcher says:

      Sarah Odell reminds me of a Predator.

  11. 16
    God obviously didn't give them brains when he gave them boobs says:

    And then these women wonder why they get breast cancer after topless sun bathing?

    • 151
      Number 10's cat says:

      FFS! you might have the IQ of a half eaten peanut, but we don’t want to know.
      Thank you

  12. 17
    Fu**ed off says:

    So fucking what!

  13. 22
    John Prescott says:

    I like a lass with big baps.

  14. 24
    Honest Bob says:

    Your grandious post makes me think, Guido,

    Have you ever “seen a pair of breasts” ?

  15. 25
    David Cameron says:

    I shall bring forward a Bill in Parliament to outlaw the ghastly practice of “airbrushing”

    I speak from experience having had certain of my election posters “airbrushed”

  16. 28
    Toenails Robinson says:

    Or are we giving dear Labourgraph’s’ Bryony her 15 minutes of fame !?

  17. 29
    Toenails Robinson says:

    I live tits

    And on my sa

  18. 32
    Ed Milibands Press Officer says:

    Gordon Brown ‎’The Labour Party has gained 27,894 new members since May 6th.’

  19. 35
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    I am in negotiations with her about joining my parliamentary escort agency. Although not an MP, she’s quite dim enough to be one, and I’m sure she’ll make more money than Sarah Teather. She assures me that she has washed Russell Brand’s splooge off her excellent rack, so get them while they’re fresh chaps!

    • 41
      Toilets Maguire says:

      Now now Peter,

      I know you can’t get it up anymore

      Brt don”t be bitchy…

      • 52
        Peter Carter-Fuck says:

        I don’t get high on my own supply. Mind you, I wouldn’t expect any of my bitches to go down on a piss stained Geordie, sorry about that, but even these slags have limits.

        • 55
          Peter Carter-Fuck says:

          Apart from Sarah Teather that is. She’ll do anything for a Lion bar, that one.

    • 57
      Julia Goldsworthy says:

      Am I still the earnings record holder?

    • 257

      Sorry, Pete, but Sarah’s a bit tied up at the moment – do I transfer to the normal Lichtenstein account, or have you moved to the Caymans yet?.

      • 280
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        Lichtenstein was too small to prevent itself from being bullied.

        • 295

          I know – having had this mad idea that nations would behave in a grown up manner after WWII, I would have thought that acts of international data extortion like that carried out by Germany on Lichtenstein might be considered de trop, but apparently not.

          At least the Krauts didn’t try to hide behind anti-terror messages – they made it plain that they wanted to catch out tax avoiders from the start, but it’s still a bloody imposition.

          Still, the Caymans are pretty free for the moment…

  20. 38
    A Gentlemon Troll says:

    I would take this woman to Disneyworld Florida or Japan, have it closed off for just the two of us, We would ride the ferris wheel at night with champagne in a carriage filled with roses and fireworks going off in the distance.

    I would look into her eyes while holding her hand and see her quivering lips and would close my own eyes and move for the embrace.

    The rest would be up to fate.

    • 45
      Peter Carter-Fuck says:

      Bollocks to fate old boy, two hundred quid tucked down her cleavage would make it a racing certainty.

    • 51
      A Goddess In The Flesh says:

      You’ve got all wrong you show off! I would take her to Mcdonalds and then later on give her a pair of louboutin shoes I got off ebay then she would be mine.

    • 92
      guido's tiny knob says:

      i’d just fuck her up the arse in the local park after a few cans

  21. 44
    MI5 says:

    I prefer smaller but firmer frankly Guido

    With or without tanlines…not choosy…

  22. 46
    John Prescott says:

  23. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Big tits – big mouth…

    Titty fuck and a blow job.

    I’m in love!

  24. 48
    New Murdock Management says:

    Gudio’s blog is now competing with his old employer’s page 3 girls

    Shock and horror…

    His ratings will explode…

  25. 49
    Kelly update says:

    It is still possible that an inquest will be held on Dr Kelly’s death.

  26. 50
    Ed Balls says:

    Have you ever been injured? Had a car accident? Fell over on a wet floor at work? Tripped on an un-even curb? If so……

    You’re a clumsy twat.

  27. 53
    Oscar Wilde says:

    OMG

    They are falling already…

    Like the Dead Tree Press…

  28. 60
    Cancer Bag says:

    How quaint, I didn’t know there were people still getting their rocks off to a bit of cleavage. I’m off to look at my collection of videos featuring harlots with dilated orifices leaking bodily fluids. Do call if there’s some news.

  29. 64
    Margaret Moran says:

    Don’t you like MY big melons?

  30. 66
    Skin Cancer says:

    Best to fake it. Tan that is not tits!

  31. 67
    Rick Nobinson says:

    My baldy bonce is normally rammed right up a Liebour politician’s bottom.

    • 72
      Senior Lobby Correspondent says:

      Up to the toelails I was told

      Is it difficult to extract your self Rick ?

  32. 70
    Senior Lobby Correspondent says:

    OMG

    The poor thing is competing with Margaret Beckett

    Please put them in baskets with come nice flowers to improve the view…

  33. 76
    Boris says:

    She is a natural girl

    Far too good for the Labourgraph

    Leave her in peace…

  34. 87
    Chief Running Jump says:

    Um. Is it just me, or have Bryony’s cheeks lost weight? Um.

  35. 87
    Mandy says:

    Ooh!, Just like my old holiday snaps, what a strumpet!

  36. 90
    Boringy says:

    Boringy Gordon arguing about her boring tits. Highlight of my year. Yawn.

  37. 91
    Selohesra says:

    Lets have more pictures of Dianne Abbot

    (.Y.)

  38. 93
    Todgergraph says:

    How come you do not get men writing about being allowed to get their todger out when sunbathing!
    ‘We don’t mind our todgers. Is that a bad thing?’ Yep! I’m sure if a bloke argued for getting his todger out while sunbathing their would be an outcry from women with their suntanned baps. Put it away guys and gals, it spoils the beautiful view of sky, sea and sand.

    • 98
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      If she whipped those babies out in front of me I would bet he first to offer a splash of Ambre solaire

      • 107
        Stretch Marx says:

        Babies? lol

      • 116
        Completely Shitfaced says:

        steady there beastie you’re getting so worked up your typing is looking a bit shakey…’I would bet he first to offer a splash’…imagine if she flashed the gash aswell….we know where the splash would be coming from !!

    • 104
      Completely Shitfaced says:

      if you holiday where we live in the S of F the french let it all hang out and believe me its like looking at the mersey tunnel crossed with the sausage counte at Fortnums….very bohemian and after a while just part of the landscape although the french women must put babybio on the bushy bits.

  39. 94
    AFinePairMyArse says:

    Memo to self

    Must take puppies for a walk

    • 251
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Nobody seems to want pussy nowadays.

      • 326
        Peter Carter-Fuck says:

        Phone Sarah Brown, she’s always in the market.

        • 331
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          Thank you for the tip Mr Carter-Fuck. (Don’t think I have communicated with you before, despite appreciating your contributions.) Sarah Brown is one thought experiment that I think I can do without, though.

  40. 95
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    What a f ucking rack!
    Couldnt she just get em out everyday instead of writing?
    The face aint so bad either
    Did Boris help her out with her CV?
    Anybody know where she is holidaying anytime soon?

  41. 99
    Charlie with a Cinzano Bianco says:

    Bloody hell. Strong stuff! I can see four of them!

  42. 100
    Nork lovers unite says:

  43. 102
    Stretch Marx says:

    ++++New from MATTEL++++

    Huge improvement on Stretch Armstrong

    In-store by Summer 2012

  44. 105
    By-LawsMyArse says:

    So this is The Big Society?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10895268

    • 133
      Von Rumpy says:

      Don’t worry Ingurlanders I am making sure you all have the capability to remain drunken yobs for ever,none of this can happen with silly bye laws

  45. 106
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Eric Pickles is the dog’s bollocks – FUCK the Audit Commission. FUCK consultation. Get these public sector parasites on the dole NOW.

    • 114
      QWERTY says:

      You forgot the BBC bummers.

    • 146
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Pickles for PM ?

    • 210
      Anonymous says:

      Yes good idea.

      Sack an independent unit that might actually tell the truth.

      And sub contract their work to the private sector.

      Who, mindful of the next contract, will tell the government exactly what they want to be told.

      And people are actually thick enough to fall for it.

      You can fool some of the people all of the time.

      Because they’re fucking thick.

      • 231
        City of Vice says:

        You obviously know little of the Audit Commission.

        For years it’s been run by an obscenely overpaid clique of Labour Party troughers.

        The Commission has spent most of its life wasting our money devising meaningless box ticking measures designed to make Labour Councils look good although in reality most remained profligate and inefficient.

        Well done, Pickles!

        • 321
          Old dog no tricks says:

          And if they had spent their money wisely instead of overpaying themselves over employing and funding their jollies – maybe they wouldn’t have looked such a damn waste of money ! I want every Quango to cease operating for the next 6 months and only those which create a problem by not being active reinstated – with a 75% cut in the wages bill, a 95% cut in expenses and a staff of 10% the current size -maximum !

  46. 108
    The Barclay twins says:

    Have you ever seen a finer pair?

  47. 108
    A fine pair of lungs! says:

    What nonsense!

  48. 111
    Jesus Titty Christ! Pickles is getting FATTER!! says:

    How is such a thing possible ????

    His head now resembles a tiny face drawn on a MASSIVE flabby egg

  49. 113
    Lord Mandelson and Gordon the Mong says:

    Ugh, breasts, women, how horrible, now this is more like it.

    http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/447/a3b/447a3b15-2c00-4dcf-af92-25a3da0e2415

  50. 117
    Junius says:

    Do you think there are any colonels who now read the Telegraph. It really is tat, as your item clearly shows

  51. 119
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Forget “not minding” her breasts – I saw Peter Hain sunbathing the other day. Now breasts I can put up with, but a Huhne on the beach is definitely too much.

  52. 122
    Gender Bollox says:

    Eh I could really do with a hand shandy but I fear it may bring on an asthma attack. Would Bryony like to rub suntan lotion on my wee hairy balls? I would be very grateful.

  53. 130
    Dan Snosh says:

    I gave her few

  54. 132
  55. 138
    Grimsky Korsikov says:

    warning this picture can affect your health
    http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08_04/margecherieAD3008_468x391.jpg

  56. 155
    SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT says:

    Thats not an underwired bra its a fucking hammock!

    http://www.bigbreastarchive.com/images/leannecrow/leannecrow018m.jpg

    • 159
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Remove the “m” immediately prior to the “.jpg” and they will actually cause severe strain upon your monitor.

      • 193
        mem says:

        Cat you need a new graphics card

        • 216
          Time for an GC upgrade me thinks says:

          I’ll second that, no problems here about 2 seconds if that!

        • 245
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          ../leannecrow018m.jpg = 2.45 kB (2,509 bytes)
          ../leannecrow018.jpg = 1.15 MB (1,212,988 bytes)

          The first is a thumbnail. The second is the full image of which the first is just a small part (if you can call those things small).

  57. 164
    I am Mr Sploot and... says:

    …I love Gordon.

  58. 178
    Inside Job says:

    I love a pair of funbags!

  59. 185
    concrete pump says:

    I love call me Dave’s ballbags!

  60. 186
    A Chill Wind says:

    She’s known as one of the 3am Daily Mail Girls who ruthlessly expose celebrities and their ‘mistakes’

    I wonder how she feels being pushed into the front of the media queue!

    As a well known comedienne said quite recently, all her bits and pieces were heading towards to floor.

    Bryony’s are heading in the same direction aren’t they?!

  61. 198
    NEW INQUIRY NOW! says:

    • 201
      Tony B Liar says:

      I think they’ll find all the relevant files were mysteriously shredded. Just like my expenses forms.

    • 203
      Plod says:

      We investigated this thoroughly,as we have investigated all of the deaths in our custody in the past 20 years and found that we are innocent of all blame. As for MI5 and 6 you will have to ask them.

    • 205
      A Chill Wind says:

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/aug/13/david-kelly-death-inquest

      bliar’s and gordon’s chickens are coming home to roost!!

      balls/whelan/damian/straw/hoon/scarlett/ gus ( bliar’s and brown’s cabinet secretary) – are already on the run and looking for a place to hide. It’s not our fault – we didn’t do it – don’t blame us!!!!

      • 209
        Tony B Liar says:

        Saudi Arabia or Kuwait will give me asylum.

        • 215
          A Chill Wind says:

          Nah He’ll go to Libya where they’ll pay him loadsamoney to advise them how to get the most out of the American Money/ Oil Market!

          And they haven’t got an extradition policy with America or Britain , so he’ll be safe when our own legal authorities find he really is a Treasonous War Criminal who probably did have some involvement in the death of Dr David Kelly!!

        • 223
          Nuremberg Trials says:

          NO, you need putting in an asylum in Saudi Arabia or kuwait, fucking war criminal c*nt!

      • 211
        Warrant Officer,Blood Oil says:

        Can I make this warrant live now govnor?

      • 217
        Harrowdown Hill says:

        so where is the new inquiry ?

        what more does Cameron need to reopen it ?

        “under consideration,” are the weasel words of someone stalling.

    • 242
      A Chill Wind says:

      Of course Mrs K has been told by the men in (scarlett) black -

      “You dare to say a word against us and we’ll stop your pension or worse” !

      It is said the family is living in fear from a certainsecretservice funded by Labour!

      • 261
        A Windy Child says:

        are you being deliberately stupid again ?

        “a certainsecretservice funded by Labour!” seriously ?
        you actually felt you could type that out without exposing yourself as an enormous twat ?

        are the Army and Police Labour funded too you dumb cun’t ?

        just do the Kelly Family a favour and fuck off dear
        they don’t need imbeciles like you damaging their case with your witless brainless partisan stupidity

  62. 206
    Gordon Shit says:

    This’ll turn you gay. It’s that fat retarded fuck, Kathryn Blair:

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/10/12/article-1219909-06C81479000005DC-463_245x299.jpg

    How come there are no pictures of the fat pig-faced fucktard cu-nt in the papers any more?

    The press has a duty to show what a family of filthy shit the Blair’s are.

    And how come the press don’t print pics of the fat idiot Euan Blair? The retarded shit-bag is still in the fake job (provided by the oh so grateful j-ooz) at Morgan Stanley.

    And what about the dirty filth, Nicky Blair! The Nazi scum was trying to become an MP.

    The British press are garbage. They let this evil Blair crime family get away with all manor of crimes. The Blair’s are all shit. It is a family of filth, greed, and criminal inanity.

  63. 213
    Junglist Punani says:

    Appropriately for Friday the 13th, here’s an horrific image.

  64. 226
    Anonymous says:

    I’m going to need to see some more evidence before I reach my own conclusions.

  65. 230
    Я says:

    Another whitewash is not enough.it has to be a full open public inquiry with nothing withheld or given in camera.

  66. 233
    A Chill Wind says:

    http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/08/10/tony-blairs-journey-memoir-takes-an-interesting-turn/

    Special edition of bliar’s lies ‘ the journey’

    Cheap at the price. £150 complete with a personal signature and a special phissog!!

    Of course Chilcot will soon be producing it’s condemning report on bliar re: Iraq and Afghanistan

    And the Attorney General looks set to announce a Coroner’s Inquiry into the death of Dr David Kelly that’s likely to call into question everything the Labour Government did about then!!

  67. 236
    Mentalist McDoom says:

    I’m so tired of pretending to be father of Miss Macauley’s sprog.

  68. 239
    Bad Al says:

    Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!

    • 241
      simon coulter says:

      I would but my hands are rather soft and Mum told me, “Never slap anyone less intelligent than a coulter.”

  69. 243
    Jacqui Smith says:

    Anyone fancy a tit wank?

  70. 244
    • 260
      A Chill Wind says:

      I think it’s true to say that nobody of any decency would want to do that with you!

  71. 247
    The Kelly Family says:

    We do not want an inquest into David’s suicide. We absolutely do not want an inquest into David’s self-inflicted suicide. We have in no way been pressured by anyone to make this statement. That would be a ridiculous notion. We do not want an inquest into David’s self-inflicted and unsuspicious suicide.

    • 255
      A Chill Wind says:

      Of course Mrs K has been told by the men in (scarlett) black -

      “You dare to say a word against us and we’ll stop your pension or worse” !

      It is said the family is living in fear from a certainsecretservice funded by Labour!

  72. 248
    A Chill Wind says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1302939/Dr-David-Kelly-hitlist-says-UN-weapons-expert-calls-grow-inquest.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

    Oh Dear. The Pressure grows to show that Dr David Kelly did not commit Suicide.

    But then we all knew that.

    AliCampbell, damian, bliar and broon (possibly also balls, hope, whelan…) did a cover up job!!

    Or so they thought!

    The time for truth is coming ever closer!!

    • 266
      Harrowdown Hill says:

      closer fuck all

      the time for an inquiry was many weeks ago
      until Cameron stops stalling and gives us one he’s as Guilty of the cover up as Blair

    • 270
      Luke says:

      I am willing to bet my house it will turn out he died of a heart-attack.

      UFOs didn’t land at Roswell, Barack Obama isn’t a member of the Reptillian Master race, 9/11 wasn’t a demolition job and Templars aren’t controlling the world.

      • 272
        Feeble, you'll have to do better than that. says:

        And straw men never make a convincing argument.

        Nobody is saying it has anything to do with NWO, Lizards or troofers but you.
        Because that would be retarded.

        There were no weapons of mass destruction.
        The dodgy dossier was full of lies.
        The Iraq war was illegal and based on lies spoken by the British Prime Minister.
        Deal with it.

        • 350
          I Loathe Tesco, Too says:

          Words spoken by the British Prime Minister, but written by his clinically depressed spin-doctor. My Scottish friends say they will NEVER, EVER trust a Campbell. If only Bliar had done something except listen to rock music and study law; and write out paying-in slips; and pose; and lie; and grovel to Bush Mark 2; if only.

  73. 254
    John Prescott says:

    That lass Bryony has tits almost as big as mine.

    • 258
      A Chill Wind says:

      There you go!!

      Her boobs are shrinking and heading towards the floor. Much like bits of you are going to seed

      Exactly like the Labour Government is doing!

      • 265
        A Windy Child says:

        Just when you thought nell couldn’t get any more fucking stupid she does.

        Labour aren’t the Government anymore dumbo. Your hero Dave is.

        You need to lay off the cider and sober up dear as you’re making a fool of yourself again. Feel free to prove me right by squawking Balls!!! Watson!!! or Damian!!! like a brain damaged parrot with the IQ of a turnip.
        Apart from gushing praise of the Dave “Heir to Blair” Camoron & getting things spectacularly wrong, it’s the only thing you ever do or are capable of doing.

  74. 263
    Texas says:

    Night darling’s !!

    A holiday and an operation are going to keep me away from ya’ll for a while.

    Please don’t forget Michael Yon and our lads and lasses in Afghanistan.

    Love and God Bless!

  75. 268
    I've got a castle says:

    I miss Nell’s posts about beach holidays and building sandcastles!

  76. 269
    Anonymous says:

    Well Fatty Fawkes

    The ratings are going down, you can’t go on holiday because the ship is sinking so you resort to sex to keep things going.

    Send her a kosher custard pie you little grovelling mercenary.

  77. 276
    Jonah McSploot says:

    Sploot for me, Gordo!

  78. 284
    Jimmy says:

    Not at all sad or creepy.

  79. 286
    Chas says:

    I am saddened, sickened and disgusted by this puerile and mysogenistic obsession with a young woman’s breasts. The salacious speculation about Ms Gordon’s topless sunbathing is as pointless as it is ignorant. What we need is high resolution photographs of her ample bosom, resplendant with large, erect, pink nipples, taken from a number of probing angles, so that we can be properly informed and able to comment, both as to the size and firmness of her chest, and to the uniformity of suntan. Go on, Bryony, get your tits out for the boys.

  80. 293
    Mad Hattie says:

    Guido

    Now that you have made Bryony a celebrity

    Please can we organise her promotion to the exalted position of Editor of the Daily Labourgraph ?

    It proves that we are not sexist beasties – and we want nice women promoted…

    And we need transparency and the bare truth in the Labourgraph Group..

    BTW When will it go bust ?

    And have the governmemnt stopped advertsing non-jobs in the Guardian ?

  81. 294
    Poo Slipper says:

  82. 296
    Co-Conspirator says:

    Good to see Hugo Rifkind’s article, Guido

    Also stiking how much he “borrows” now from the style of this blog

    Like his Dad Malcolm referring to “ZANU Labour” during the Election Campaign

    I’ve seen that somewhere before as well…

    They are catching up…but not quite there yet…

    • 300
      FT Correspondent says:

      Hugo is not quite as pithy, incisive and well-informed as this blog

      But he might get up to speed one day…

      Is he one of Rupert’s employees ?

  83. 301
    The Kinnock Clique says:

    Morning, chumps !

    http://tinyurl.com/37e8tgd

  84. 302
    Gordon Broon's Granny says:

    At last …..2 good reasons to buy the Telegraph!

  85. 303
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Do you think I’m sexy?

  86. 304
    MI5 says:

    Gudio

    You refer to Andeew Gilligan’s superb short article on Strawman (never a more apt nickname)

    This says it all

    “He was the Andrei Gromyko of British politics, deftly adapting himself to every change of wind, but dedicating his life to blocking the progress of actual change.

    It is tempting to say that we will not see Mr Straw’s like again. But the problem is that we shall see his like again, time after time after time. Still, I’ll be buying his promised memoirs – if only to find out what can possibly be in them.”

    30 years in Labour politics just to “adapt himself to every change of wind”

    In other words, he believes in nothing apart from his personal advancement (and has made a personal fortune with goverment and Parliamentary handouts in the process)

    Another total condemnation of Zanu Labour, how it operates and how it wrecfked the countries finances…

    • 307
      Cynic says:

      I think you are too hard. He’s an exemplar that Mrs T converted Labour to capitalism!

      • 309
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        *** changes handle to REAL Cynic *** (but can’t be arsed!)

        Capitalism is founded upon the volition of the buyer. Don’t see any of that here.

        • 324
          Cynic says:

          You haven’t seen how he spent our money

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            If you are talking about Strawman then, yes I have. I was in Blackburn only last year. It is unfit even to insert an enima tube.

  87. 308
    Mr Politically Incorrect says:

    Morning windowlickers and anonymongs. Apparently Brown is still a c’unting sack of evil shit. Is this true?

  88. 310
    Saturday Morning TV says:

  89. 314
    Chris Bryant says:

    Have a spliff
    Have a spank
    Followed by a J Arthur Rank

  90. 315
    Slotgob says:

    My Tony says I have the best boobs in the world.

  91. 320
    HenryV says:

    Is this blonde lady up for Labour leader? If so can I vote for her? Thank you.

  92. 336
  93. 342
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I fully empathise with her, I like to get my bollocks out when ever I can.

  94. 343
    Simply Simon says:

    Why was the washing machine laughing at Bryony Gordon?

    It was taking the piss out of her knickers!

  95. 349
    Jackthesmilingblack says:

    Jet halfway round the world just to lie on some beach, read your library book and get a suntan.



Andrew Lansley Has Been Shot | Dan Hodges
Another Gay Gaffe From Ken | Standard
Pensioners Paying Price for Funny Money | Telegraph
Ken Penis Gaffe | Metro
Hague Photo Mystery | Guardian
The Iranian Model is Hitler | Lawrence J. Haas
No.10′s Andrew Cooper Should Look at this Poll | Douglas Carswell
Livingstone Has Form on Homophobia | ConservativeHome
Investors HBack Over RBS Meddling | CityAM
Riddled With It | Pink News
I Went Mad in the Seventies | Ken
Guy Newsroom Splits | Indy
Polly’s Voodoo Polling | UK Polling Report
Labour SpAd Backs the Bill | Mark Wallace
Guido Goes for the Lobby | Press Gazette

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Peter Botting


Max Clifford says…

“Most people want to read nasty things about people, not nice things.”



DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?

Just a thought.


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