August 12th, 2010

DCLG Sith Intrigue

Eric Pickles has received plaudits from across the spectrum for being the first Secretary of State to publish his department’s spending over £500 for the last year. While much fun can be had today hounding the previous government’s cavalier disregard for the taxpayer, Pickles would be a fool to think the new wave of transparency won’t make his job tougher this time next year. Good.

Finally the public have the chance to hold all spending to account, and what a varied mix of wastage just one department has thrown up. Aside from hotel bills, corporate massage (happy-ending undisclosed) and clothing, this really caught Guido’s eye:

Why exactly was Gordon’s slush fund given £7,500 for strategic consultancy to the DCLG. If they were giving them cash, you can bet other departments were too…

UPDATE: The Mail have gone to town on the spending and the TPA are running a rolling blog.


243 Comments

  1. 1
    AC1 says:

    More interested in info on SOLACE.

  2. 2
    Shire Tory says:

    Of course there are going to be no cuts to government spending, just less growth!
    Start here I think.

  3. 3
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    My name is Tim Lovejoy and I am a BBC legend that Eric Pickles ate for breakfast.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    My guess is that it may have something to do with this – see page 2

    http://www.smith-institute.org.uk/file/TheThamesGatewayWherenext.pdf

  5. 5
    Charles Kennedy says:

    I chaantt weally shay. {hic}
    Jush chaarry hon wiout me, ok? {burp}

  6. 6
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    SOLACE looks like a haven for public funds. All these payments should cease, SI included.

  7. 7
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    “cooperate massage” What Westminster house of ill-repute does that?

  8. 8
    Sir Menzies Campbell says:

    I’m glad that i’m not the MOST embarrassing former Lib Dem leader.

  9. 9
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Fuckin hell !

  10. 10
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will make a statement to the house about this later .

  11. 11

    Are you over the trauma of losing yet Gordon?

    “yes Doctor. I’ve invented a new game to pass the time in here too. Its a lottery.
    I write down a number on the wall with my foot. Then I hold up a crayon with my foot. If the number of crayons is the same as the number I scrawl … then I win. I win a crayon.”

    “And you write the number one on the wall I see.”

    “Yes Dr. There is only one crayon in here. Look! I won again! I won I won I won i won I won..”

    door slams. Dr Schadenfreude tells his assistant to increase medication.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Guido,

    here’s the list of everyone the Smith Institute calls a “supporter”. Well over half are publicly funded.

    4NW
    NWDA
    Advantage West Midlands
    ACCA
    Accord
    Age UK
    Agriculture & Horticulture Development Board
    ASDA
    Asthma UK
    Barrow Cadbury Trust
    British Property Federation
    British Urban Regeneration Association
    BT
    Centre for Cities
    Centre for Social Justice
    City of London
    Commission for Architecture & the Built Environment
    Department for Communities and Local Government
    ESRC
    European Trade Union Confederation
    Eversheds
    Every Child a Chance Trust
    Friedrich Ebert Stiftung
    Futurebuilders England
    GlaxoSmithKline
    Global Policy Institute
    Green Fiscal Commission
    Hansard Society
    Homes and Communities Agency
    Home Group
    Hyde Housing Group
    King Sturge
    London and Quadrant Housing Trust
    Local Government Yorkshire and Humber
    KPMG Foundation
    Medical Research Council
    McGrigors LLP,
    Midland Heart
    Morrisons
    National Association of Pension Funds
    NAPP Pharmaceuticals
    Novartis
    New Homes Marketing Board
    One North East
    One Society
    Oxford University Centre for Business Taxation
    Places for People
    PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP
    PRUPIM
    R3
    Reed
    Regional Studies Association
    Remember A Charity
    Resolution Foundation
    Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health
    Smiths Detection
    Theplaceteam
    The King’s Fund
    Town and Country Planning Association
    Unison
    Unity Trust Bank
    West Midlands Learning & Skills Council
    Work Foundation
    Yorkshire Forward

  14. 14

    Transparent Eric! PLEASE not. I can hardly bear the outside.

  15. 15
    The British Public says:

    You, sir, are an arsehole.

  16. 16
    Chris Huhne says:

    I just don’t get it.

    I was having a wank while watching some porn at the laptop the other day when suddenly I started to hear all this screaming. Shortly after, the police stormed in and dragged me away before beating me shitless outside and arresting me.

    I tried telling them over and over that the porn was perfectly legal but they just didn’t stop. They just kept shouting things like “You’re a sick fuck, mate”, “You’re going away for a long time” and “You’ll never set foot in a PC World ever again!”

  17. 17
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    So what happened to prudence ?

  18. 18
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    If they hadnt wasted so much money they might have achived something

  19. 19
    Dog says:

    uaf uaf

  20. 20
    Andy Gray says:

    £1600 buys you a lot of hand-shandies, even at London prices.

  21. 21
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    James Kirtley to retire at end of season

  22. 22
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Look at this linked to the same page

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1302312/500k-year-Northumberland-council-boss-retired-golden-goodbye.html

    Trougher retires and gets a shed load of cash, then picks up a similar job a couple of weeks later.

    Presumably he had this lined up all along, but declined to resign and say he’d got another job.

  23. 23
    bandersnatch says:

    ‘Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down’. My kids had some transparent Erics that they used to play with in the bath… There was ski-ing Eric and motorboating Eric.
    They were a great idea. I don’t think they cost as much as £500, though.

  24. 24
    Imagine John Prescott without Bulimia says:

    “Eric Pickles has received plaudits from across the spectrum”

    The people on the Guardian comments pages aren’t happy, and saying these things are acceptable

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

  26. 26
    Engineer says:

    Assuming that by “the house” you mean The House of Commons, and not the building in which you reside in Scotland, you may have to actually attend. However, given that they’ve all gone on holiday, you may be on your own – no bad thing, many would say.

  27. 27
    Bob Crow - in the dough says:

    Anybody noticed I now earn more than David Cameron with my new 12% pay rise?

    Sky and Beeboid journo’s all over this aren’t they…NOT Hahahahahahahah!

  28. 28
    T McCann says:

    an Arthur Daley enterprise

  29. 29
    Ting Tong says:

    You want sucky sucky

  30. 30
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    A casual perusal of this first spreadsheet suggests that a lot of public bodies spent a lot of their time giving our money to each other.

    And why would a government dept need to spend quite so much on advertising and marketing? Surely they only exist to meet genuine needs and organisations meeting real needs dont require a big advertising budget to bring ‘customers’ to it’s doors.

    Would those of us who arent engaged in this mutual spendfest of other peoples money really notice if these departments were massively slimmed down? The money would still get spent in the economy, but it would be spent in a manner chosen by those to whom the money actually belongs who would enjoy lower tax deductions.

  31. 31
    Lord Prescott says:

    What? I got in a few bites too, don’t worry.

  32. 32
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Hope they do.

  33. 33
    Sin ister says:

    hello Smithkline.
    Yes we need someone doping.

  34. 34
    Engineer says:

    It may not have been a good move posting a comment that your offspring played with Eric in the bath. Social Services are scrambling even as I type.

  35. 35
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Were he ever otherwise?

  36. 36
    Imagine John Prescott without Bulimia says:

    mysteriously absent from the Guardian as well..

    well done Comrade!

  37. 37
    Beckham says:

    I am a pensioner now,she is a scrawny ……….

  38. 38
    Penfold says:

    So Balls is no guilty of peculation and fraud on a grander than first thought of.

    It would seem that NuLab have been spectacularly corrupt and extremely inventive in discovering means to funnel taxpayers monies into their own pockets.

    Guido we need a massive enquiry, probing every corner of the financial accounts to gather the evidence and jail the firkin lot of ‘em.

    I might hate the left, but i hate corruption, peculation and theft even more.

  39. 39
    Dave Willetts,uni minister says:

    Labour did a fantastic job,so good I am still using their previous set up.

  40. 40
    Engineer says:

    ***Applause***

  41. 41
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Leave Gordo alone or I’l cwy and cwy and cwy. I wuv him.

  42. 42
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    What trauma? There has been no contrast in his life. What did he ever win?

    (Kirkcaldy would have voted for a monkey swinging from a tree, if it had worn a red rosette.)

  43. 43
    Leave my Gordo alone. I wuv him so much says:

  44. 44
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Disgraceful.

  45. 45
    Pigs might fly says:

    What we need is a massive multiple complaint to old Bill ,so much so they have to get up off their lazy arses and investigate it.

  46. 46
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Mr Pickles is a star. Liebor investment, my arse.

  47. 47
    Hugh Janus says:

    Seems you can anything past a council these days, despite the employment of lawyers and consultants. It’s a doddle this public sector stuff, the gift that just goes on giving, although I believe that the gravy train is about to finally hit the buffers. Not before time. It will still take some considerable time to weed out these troughers, but that’s no reason not to.

  48. 48
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    He is writing his magisterial volume: “Whore and Piss”.

  49. 49
    Penfold says:

    Correction:-

    So Balls is now guilty

  50. 50
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Like spending much less?

  51. 51
    Blaster Bates says:

    I can think of a way it should be slimmed down

  52. 52
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    Did he ever get his action sorted?

  53. 53
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    *** claps furry paws thunderously ***

  54. 54
    AC1 says:

    Is UAFUAF Unite against the fascist UAF?

    If so it has my support.

  55. 55
    Mike Hunt says:

    It did.

  56. 56
    True,I was in a care home once,full of pedos on top pay says:

    social services want to play with his kids

  57. 57
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Yeah , Good pro

  58. 58
    AC1 says:

    It would’ve been a less damaging PM too.

  59. 59
    Mrs Duffy says:

    I like that Gurdon Broone, he’s a luverly man.

  60. 60
    AC1 says:

    “publicly funded” Don’t use that term, be accurate. Use the term “Extortion Funded”

  61. 61
  62. 62
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    It must be harder for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle (that is your missus) than it is for a camel to enter Heaven.

  63. 63
    Gordon Brown says:

    I know nothing about this fund of which you speak, just as I know nothing of Steven Purcell.

  64. 64
    AC1 says:

    They’re mostly parasitic loons.

  65. 65
  66. 66
    National Union of Logo Manufacturers says:

    Look you Tory aresoles, without the millions spent on new logos every year by these quangos, our members would be unemployed.

    Now shut up and get your new logos designed by us whilst they’re still cool and trendy.

  67. 67
    Troffed says:

    troffers are thieves
    troffers are MPs
    troffers should be investigated
    the cops are troffers,
    they don’t do the job but take the money
    My dog is a troffer,he lays in front of the fire all day except to eat piss and shit,but he will bite me.
    The cops will bite me.
    The troffers will bite me

  68. 68
    Mike Hunt says:

    Liebour’s ONLY success criterion was the amount spent, remember the tractor stats spouted at PMQs by Broon-the-Loon. Spending less amounted to failure to them and meant they could shout ‘the evil Tories would have CUT’.

    So glad they have gone and looking forward to more examples of their insane spending.

  69. 69
    Engineer says:

    I predict a rash of FOI requests to various departments as they publish their spending data asking what consultancy the department got from the Smith Institute for it’s consultancy fee. I wonder how many “supporting documents” will “go missing”?

  70. 70
    Hugh Janus says:

    Where socialism is, hypocrisy will never be far away.

  71. 71
    anonymous says:

    The elites, political, financial, cultural and strategic can all do what they like. The population pays for it.

    still on a brighter note, although it is pourring down here at the moment, there’s promise of stars in the skies tonight, all over Britain – yes, you can see David Beckham, George Michael, David Cameron, Ellie Wellhard, Tony Bliar etc shining brightly …..

    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Perseid-Meteor-Shower-Britain-To-Experience-Celestial-Fireworks-Show/Article/201008215681333?lpos=UK_News_Second_Home_Page_Feature_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15681333_Perseid_Meteor_Shower%3A_Britain_To_Experience_Celestial_Fireworks_Show

  72. 72
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Easy answer. Dismiss any executives who cannot produce supporting documents. Dismiss those whose supporting documents do not stand scrutiny. As of now, dismiss any executive who pays any such organisation any sum at all.

    Next?

  73. 73
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Trouble is, this lot are not spending less either (as discussed on another page today). They are just reducing the increase of projected expenditure.

  74. 74
    anonymous says:

    is he older than Beckham then?

  75. 75
    nick clegg says:

    can I have one?

  76. 76
    a camel says:

    gives me the bleedin’ hump that does, shit!

  77. 77
    Appreciated says:

    need a list of petitions to post on number 10.Any suggestions?

  78. 78
  79. 79
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    Indeed. Anyone recall this beauty?

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/22/ogc_logo/

  80. 80
    geezer says:

    1. where’s our fuckin’ money?

    2. where’s our fuckin’ money

    3. where’s our fuckin’ money

    that’ll do for now

  81. 81
    MI5 says:

    Smith Institute funding by government departments is theft of taxpayers money for Brown’s slush fund as you say…

    This should be referred to the CPS immediately…

    I remember Blinky got £ 100,000 off Smith for fictitious work also…

    PROSECUTE THESE THIEVES…

  82. 82
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Must have been Sue.

  83. 83
    Why lie? says:

    I am in Hampshire and the water coming from my tap was white. I called them and they said it is air. Its the first time I have ever been able to scrape air together into a white paste.There are a lot of water board vans and digging going on at multiple locations.

  84. 84
    Nick2 says:

    A representative body for senior strategic managers working in the public sector. But, as would be expected from a public sector related organisation, it covers the entire thing. A sort of ACPO for EVERYONE entitled to a state supplied chauffeured Jag…

  85. 85
    Bob says:

    This requires numerous prosecutions…

    The CPS must set up a special section to send all these Zanu Labour thieves to jail…

    We were not exaggerating when we said they have pissed¨£ billions of our money up the wall

    WE WANT JUSTICE

  86. 86
    for ever and ever amen says:

    The only solution,without it it will go on and on and on.

  87. 87

    Kept away from the public by a special band of loyal keepers. Just eating bananas and throwing things at people. Terrible personal hygiene and a tendency to gibber loudly at all hours….

  88. 88
    Gordon Brown says:

    I saved the universe. Be grateful to me.

  89. 89
    Complaints Dept says:

    wrap your complaint in a brick and lob it through the cop shop window,your MP’s window,your local cchq etc.then they may get it.

  90. 90
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Bravo Sir my thoughts exactly

  91. 91
    Fssst says:

    Only if they too burnt out for ever after a few seconds

  92. 92
    Siberian Tory says:

    This is good stuff and the bloggers will comb and jurnos will steal their stories. On addition I would sugguest to the list, the name and email address of the person who signed them off.

    However, we must keep a sense of proportion I would EXPECT some departments to spend a lot on lunches, flowers and biscuits e.g. the foreign office, uk trade and investment. You don’t win contracts with rich tea biscuits…

  93. 93
    fucking cunts says:

    Monty Rakusen’s Studio (Bespoke Photography)

    WTF! Bespoke Photography – is there like off the shelf photography of random bastards?

    “This is me at work”.
    “Oh really… That fat fuck looks nothing like you.”
    “Yeah. We couldn’t afford bespoke photography so bought some generic pictures of random cu-nts in an office.”

    Monty Rakusen (aka Achiezer Goldbergerstien).

  94. 94
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Good man Bill,sock it to the old slag…………..

  95. 95
    Mr Plum says:

    Is it all white now

  96. 96
    The Gubberment says:

    remember suckers,once we tax you its our money not yours.

  97. 97
    Baron Lord Baron Mandelcunt says:

    I always have a happy ending. Sploot.

  98. 98
    The Unenlightened Ones says:

    do enlighten the rest of us with a link,or a piccy maybe.

  99. 99
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Champagne Socialism at it`s best, as long as it`s in the name of “Diversity” and “Progressive Politics” it`s fine for the Notting hill Mafia

  100. 100
    fucking cunts says:

    Forgot the fucking theft bit:

    Audit Commission, Unclassified – Monty Rakusen’s Studio (Bespoke Photography), £7,335

  101. 101
    The Lord Thy God says:

    That’s 968,388 possible future children you just killed.

  102. 102
    Tony & Cherie Blair-Bollinger says:

    Well Hellooo you guys, it’s Tony & Cherie here, we just popped by to tell you we are very very very rich.

    Hope you all enjoy ‘mnoo book dontcha know. Packed with really great stories ‘n stuff to keep you idiots confused as hell fnar fnar.

    Last week our stooopid fat daughter ate the first draft manuscript, thought Oh bugger, then realised I could just copy ‘n paste it all back from poofter Petes out-takes. Good jobby his came out first eh!

    OK must go now, we’re popping down to Stress Angels for a free wank on the taxpayer, traaa all.

  103. 103
    The Unenlightened Ones says:

    ah got you.

  104. 104
  105. 105

    Under Dave its all going to go to ‘Monty Python’s Mis-Spoke Photography ‘{airbrushing a specialty}

  106. 106
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    It’s not their job to win contracts; thats the job of the company which benefits from these contracts. Good design, good products and good service will always win more business that any number of publicly funded junkets.

    Do you really believe that all those aerospace export orders were won from India wholly as a result of Cameron and Hague paying the sub-continent a visit?

    Business would carry on as usual if the FO, UKT&I et al ceased to exist. The reverse isnt true.

  107. 107
    Do tell says:

    don’t you have one called Kamikaze Blair

  108. 108
    Mike Hunt says:

    he always was.

  109. 109
  110. 110
    armchair auditor1 says:

    number one auditor.my name

  111. 111
    Mrs Bishops Luxury Parrot says:

    I don’t see me on the spreadsheet, must be under Mandelson’s ornithological persuits – He prefers a cock’a-two

  112. 112
    IMPEACH THE LAST LABOUR CABINET says:

    Guido

    We have seen a few hundred pages so far…from ONE department…

    It is quite clear that the last Labour Government (and probably starting with the Grinning Ape) GROSSLY MISAPPROPRIATED £ BILLIONS OF OUR MONEY

    If ever there were grounds for IMPEACHMENT, these must represennt them.

    Clearly Ministers just told the civil servants to spend on anything they liked regardless…

    We are now going into another phase following Smeargate and the MPs expenses…

    If this Coalition have ANY TALENT, LABOUR SHOULD BE DESTROYED FOR EVER BY THIS…

    IMPEACH AND IMPRISON THE LAST LABOUR CABINET…ever last thieving member of it…from the Gunring Goon down to the Poison Dwarf…

    PS What will we find with the other Departments ??!!

  113. 113
    Blaster Bates says:

    ah, Gordon, here hold this.

    I know it’s ticking but it’s okay

    that’s it, just keep still a minute ……

    BOOM

    like taking toffee off a kid. Now, who’s next …. Tony …..

  114. 114
    Eric,I'm too fat for prius Pickles says:

    A bently politician

  115. 115
    Nick2 says:

    Maybe we should employ some North Korean mining engineers – they could build an underground repository to store every instance of NuLab largesse to warn future generations.

    Just one problem – unlike the Kims’ collection of chattels/military memorabilia, Labour left nothing to show for their spending. (Since everything tangible was built under PFI, and therefore doesn’t belong to us)

  116. 116
    IMPEACH GORDON BROWN says:

    If ever we needed proof of what we have been saying here for so long, it is now clear, published and in black and white

    New Labour turned Britain into a Banana Republic…

    New Labour = Organised Theft

  117. 117
    Sink Londonickles says:

    Most spending was done in London by lackys close to ministers in all party’s

  118. 118

    Gordon abandoned her and went back to his beard…

  119. 119
    Jack says:

    They were bespoke photos of the Zanu Labour Cabinet’s cocks

    For their admirers and electors (at our expense of course)

    It was the right thing to do…

  120. 120

    Sorry. I never thought I would but: you were always a bit naive on that front.

    All other countries seem quite keen on protectionism, state schmoozing, special deals.

  121. 121

    Government biscuit expenditure

    Office of the former PM – Crackers and McVitie’s Boasters.

    Liam Byrne – Short{of}bread

    Current PM – Millionaire’s shortcakes from {Liam} Fox’s super indulgent range.

    Tony Blair -No set department – mini shredders or jammy dodgers.

    Boris Johnson – more of a crumpet man really.

    Vince cable – Tesco value caramel wafers. Looks like the real deal but is actually quite disappointing.

    Peter Mandelson – Hob Nobs.

    George Osborne -RITZ

  122. 122
    Mike Hunt says:

    Liebour central in full ‘snow’ mode, glad to see they can still spam the Grauniad.

  123. 123
    Spoiler says:

    Good for Ken, love to see Ed win leadership.

  124. 124

    Hence the song- Posh Spice Takes It Up The…

  125. 125
    Oona King says:

    If I don’t become mayor, you’re all racist. Riiice and peeea, riiice and peeea.

  126. 126
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    Likewise.

  127. 127
    anonymous says:

    read some

    all mps of which ever party are CNUTS

  128. 128
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Does not stop them from peddling their own line of dogma though, at our expense, does it?

  129. 129
    Jack says:

    APPLAUSE

    and bring Impeachment proceedings against them

  130. 130
    anonymous says:

    Oona, just fuck off will yer darlin’

  131. 131
    Some things should be over engineered says:

    I bought a plough that snapped to bits as soon as it got lowered into sunbaked ground.it was a UK company. I now have a Russian one that could rip a rock plateau up.All the meals and drinks in the world would not make me buy UK again.plus the Russian one was cheaper.

  132. 132
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    they dont understand ecomoics do they ?

  133. 133
    Siberian Tory says:

    No but inward investment can be encouraged by making good impressions. In addition the FO and UKTI hold networking and conference events, you won’t get big players going to them if they don’t think there’s a decent meal in it for them.

    Although, I think I’d agree with you if the argument is abolish them and use the money saved to cut business tax. That would probably be far more effective.

  134. 134
    Jacob says:

    Abbott plain chocolate

  135. 135
    Siberian Tory says:

    *applause*

  136. 136
    Jacob says:

    is he a joo

  137. 137
    Gordon Brown says:

    What a gay day! Shut that door.

  138. 138
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Wotcher mate! Ooops sorry, you were singing…..?

  139. 139
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Why is the left full off bullying and violence ?

  140. 140
    Vlad says:

    Impale all of them

  141. 141
    Proceedure says:

    is this a crime?
    Is this the evidence of said crime?
    If so who is it that should investigate it?

  142. 142

    Half fat chocolate fingers

  143. 143
    Gordon Brown says:

    I shall shortly be in a position where I can make a full statement to The House detailing when I shall make a fuller statement to The House regarding my plans and policies on my personal choice of biscuit.

    Until then, I can say no more. Neither would the house wish me, on such a delicate subject of national economic importance, to reveal more than is absolutely necessary.

    No other Leader in the Western World has been able to say that.

  144. 144
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Banana republic, Bill.

  145. 145
    Legal Beagle says:

    The procedure would be a trial before the Bar of the House of Commons

    The House of Commons is sovereign

    A majority of the House could imprison anyone found guilty of peculation, misappropriation etc

  146. 146
    Siberian Tory says:

    But you bought the first one! Give that man a Government subsidised cigar!

  147. 147
    Gordon Brown says:

    I love to sploot all day and night.

  148. 148
    I N Fringe says:

    from now on all comments are copyright(C) 2010

  149. 149
    Bobby Kennedy says:

    Guido loves you Oona

    Be happy…

  150. 150
    Legal Q says:

    Then who in the present government has the duty to do it?

  151. 151
    anonymous says:

    looks good to me

    does it work?

  152. 152
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    I’ve still got the mousemat but my eyesight appears to have deteriorated to the point that I cannot make out what is on it.

  153. 153
    anonymous says:

    anonymous says:
    August 12, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    looks good to me

    does it work?
    Reply

  154. 154
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Hazael Blears – Ginger nut

  155. 155
    Martin Day BBC economics correspondent says:

    Meanwhile, things go from bad to Warsi.. – mirror.co.uk
    http://www.mirror.co.uk

    A condem attempt to blame Labour for the economic collapse backfired badly yesterday.

    The coalition are toerags

  156. 156
    Nick Clegg says:

    Likewise – soon.

  157. 157
    Bob says:

    Of course

    Who else does bespoke ?!

  158. 158
    Schrödinger's (fully trained) Laboratory rat says:

    Long term studies reveal that the Left was built on lies, wishful thinking, violence and deceit together with a soup song of personal arrogance, vendetta, revenge and vanity.

    The word ‘respect’ is a colloquial term used to denote adherence to, or tagging along behind any prophesy or bollocks that may gain personl advancement.

    ‘Rats in a sack’ is term used to describe the resulting shenanigans.

  159. 159
    John from Hull says:

    Good to see Shady Mallick involved

  160. 160
    next says:

    Sounds a lot like the feudal system which the toff tory party rose from.

  161. 161
    Eric Pickles says:

    I must tell you Guido that you started all of this…

    You wanted accountability

    I now give you an “army of arm-chair auditors”…

    PS I see the Twat Watson is now supporting accountability

    Wat did he do for 13 years then apart from piss our money up the wall with no accountatability ?

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    They will when you get there GF.

  163. 163
    SaltPetre says:

    Dear God…I just had a look at the account for the Ordnance Survey. They spent a total of £199,320 on employee childcare and childcare vouchers !!

    Does this mean my taxes are being paid for OS workers to have nannies ?

  164. 164
    Nick Clegg says:

    Thanks Eric

    But is is going to take us YEARS to get to the bottom of all of this

    Can’t you get the Audit Commission, National Accounting Office and the CPS to identify the worst cases of peculation and misappropriation and prosecure them for us ?

  165. 165
    Gordon Brown, as an afterthought, says:

    … and who is Mz. Macauley?

  166. 166
    Kerbcrawler says:

    Let’s hope the armchair auditors find a few billion down the back of the cushion.

  167. 167
    Tom says:

    I feel the same way

    There has been intergalactic piss taking going on, as BoJo would say…

    We need his vocabulary to decsribe the grotesque nature of this massive intercosmic rip off…

  168. 168
    Legal Beagle says:

    Impeachment proceedings would be brought by a motion in the House of Commons

    Then the full Commons acts as the Judge…like a Court

    (same way as Bill Clinton was impeached by the US House of Representatives – the US applies English law in this regard)

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    Yup. The “second derivative fallacy” strikes again.

  170. 170
    Legal Beagle says:

    I remember when the MPs expenses scandal happened

    And many here thought we would never get any prosecutions…

    We have some, at least…

    So file complaints, as before, with your local Police or the Met…

    Pressure them and they will have to act, like with (some) MPs…

  171. 171
    The British Public says:

    Who were you again?

  172. 172
    QWERTY says:

    Why are all Union leaders either scousers or jocks?

  173. 173
    I am Sick says:

    Except of course the UAF are undemocratic, state sponsored fascists themselves, who seem to feel, in a democracy, they should be able to shut down and violently harass, political parties they disagree with.

  174. 174
    Lord Wayne of Trombone says:

    Iranian state TV has aired what it says is a confession by a woman under threat of being stoned to death for adultery.

    In the interview shown on Wednesday, Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani purportedly admits conspiring to murder her husband in 2005 and denounces her lawyer.

    After an international outcry, Iranian officials temporarily halted her stoning sentence last month, but there are fears she will now be hanged.

    IF SHE HAS ADMITTED IT ALL, THEN………

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    That’s a clever pussy you have there.

  176. 176
    Gordong Brown says:

    Ah’m nae deid yet!

  177. 177
    Mong-U-Mental says:

    “And why would a government dept need to spend quite so much on advertising and marketing?”

    Too fkng right. My council has a series of slick adverts all over the city ” What did the council do for me ?” With a range of features answers. Y’know – did this or that outside of any core need.

    Been meaning to deface them with ” pissed my £ away on pointless adverts”

  178. 178
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Solicter genral ?

  179. 179
    Mong-U-Mental says:

    Death penalty would not be inappropriate.

  180. 180
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Classic common sense AC1………but I am sure NuLab banned common sense,blue sky,outside the box and whatever works for yourself.They spent 13 long fuckin years making it up as they had not a clue what the ramifications were of giving every whinger some hush money and always as a renewable grant

  181. 181
    Mr Ned says:

    None of our business. How they administer their Sharia Justice in their own sovereign country is their own business.

    Stopping them from administering it HERE is most important. When they try to tell us how to run our country, then we should tell them to fuck off!

  182. 182
    Lord Prescott says:

    Wagon Wheels – thousands of ‘em!

  183. 183
    Mong-U-Mental says:

    Knacking the old export guarantee system was not a good move. Even more so now, given the risks of defaults.

  184. 184
    Smig says:

    Motorboating Eric.

    Brain bleach please.

  185. 185
    Mr Ned says:

    Indeed. If they had any sense whatsoever they would be viciously attacking themselves until they shut themselves down permanently, the fascists that they are!

  186. 186
    Garibaldi says:

    Danny Alexander – Butter Osborne

  187. 187
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today i have meetings and i will have other duties in the house today .

  188. 188
    Tony "you peasants can't arrest me" Blair says:

    I shredded my expenses and got away scot free.

  189. 189
    Unsworth says:

    Not if it’s Naomi Campbell.

  190. 190
    the last quango in paris says:

    his wearing the pink shirt under the red sign is hurting my eyes and his crap that he is spouting is hurting my ears.

  191. 191
    Smig says:

    Not a tory, but I’ve been seriously fucked off by the amount of wedge your paymasters have been taking out of my pocket since ’97.

    It costs less to have a gobshite being unemployed and costing the country 7 grand a year in JSA and Housing Behenift than it does paying 35 grand a year for pissing about with photoshop on behalf of other QUANGOs.

    Fuck off and get a proper job. Start by stacking shelves in Tesco and work you’re way up.

    You fucking leeches should be shot. Then shot again to be sure.

  192. 192
    BBC Spokesperson says:

    We strongly believe that details of trade union leaders remuneration packages are private and therefore, it is not in the public interest to disclose them, or subject them to frivolous public tittle tattle.
    We remain absolutely committed to our neutral stance at all times.

  193. 193
    the last quango in paris says:

    sarah has been tweeting photos of joan armatrading

  194. 194
    the last quango in paris says:

    because they are stupid, uneducated, jealous and have

  195. 195
    Martha Carnal says:

    Can you bring me up to date?.

  196. 196
    Bottom Feeder says:

    Fudgerigar

  197. 197
    Bigot says:

    Well said Mr Ned.

    However, there are several people that I would like to see arraigned and with the possibility of just such a sentence as the outcome.

    One is the previous encumbrance in No 10.

    The other was his boss – for a time. (No names – no pack drill).

  198. 198
    the last quango in paris says:

    Unite – do they support ed miliband? has he anything to say? Unite – supporting the workers:

    http://www.unitetheunion.org/member_services/esher_place.aspx

  199. 199
    Anonymous says:

    Smith Institute also received £17,500 from the Home & Communities Agency for ‘Learning and Development services’.

    “The Homes and Communities Agency is a non-departmental public body and our sponsor government department is Communities and Local Government (CLG). “

  200. 200
    DEATH and his horse, Binky says:

    I’M VERY GOOD AT TAKING PENALTIES.

    FIVE OUT OF FIVE WHEN PRACTICISING WITH THE ARSENAL LADIES LAST NIGHT.

    EMMA BYRNE IS LOVELY.

  201. 201
    Mr Ned says:

    To use the l33tful youthful vernacular…. OMFG!!!

  202. 202
    Piss Organ says:

    Why are you reading that comic you moronic Labour lickspittle?

    A reminder: £165 BILLION OVERSPEND, £1.2 TRILLION DEBT

    Thanks

  203. 203
    ! says:

    fuck it needs office.

  204. 204

    That unite bloke you mean? He did sound a tad.. stereotypical.

    We should divide the UK up and divide it into zones. Like the cold war Berlin.
    Then each could have its own ideology.
    Scotland could border itself off and go for full the USSR. Wales could be a sort of East Germany. Northern Ireland .. Poland?

    There would be checkpoints and border guards and restricted items. No fruit allowed into the peoples republic of Scotland.. But plenty of former eastern bloc citizens would love to flock there and relive the old days.

    No whiskey or oil imported to the decadent ‘south’.

    Big signs at checkpoint Charlie {Kennedy}
    “You are now leaving the blue zone. Passports must be surrendered at the red border. No trainers’

  205. 205

    […] Guido has spotted a bill of £7,500 from the Smith Institute, Gordon Brown’s dodgy think tank. He wonders if other government departments have similar bills? Good question Guido. […]

  206. 206
    BoJo says:

    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

  207. 207
    Shit Storm says:

  208. 208
    Petronius says:

    No baseball caps. The sign of the canaille.

  209. 209
    Dumbarse says:

    Should not the present government prosecute this? Pickles,when first becoming aware of it should have sent it to the CPS straight away with a note stating what he thought and what he wanted doing.

  210. 210
    Bob Crow, Shadwell boy says:

    I’m not, me old cock sparrar.

  211. 211
    DR Know says:

    banker crime wanker

  212. 212
    Jimmy Shovel says:

  213. 213
    Anonymous says:

    “If this Coalition have ANY TALENT, LABOUR SHOULD BE DESTROYED FOR EVER BY THIS…”

    Only if the present government prove to be truthful,honest & open with the why & where of the disbursement of our taxes.
    If not, then the short memory of the electorate will doom us to another LieBour type government of selfseeking,thieving,devious,troughing hoons in 6 or 7 years time.

  214. 214
    Todo says:

    We need a prosecutor general.

  215. 215
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Incomplete comparison fallacy.

  216. 216
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    yea,they might fly but they wont investigate

  217. 217
    Prudence Myaers says:

    You called ?

  218. 218
    Wavey Davey says:

    I’m still not listening. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

  219. 219
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    tis chalk…..harmless.but tastes like chalk.if it gets into your hot water system it becomes concrete/plaster……..your call……..get advice quickly and have samples taken thrice signatoried twice…….your washing machine if worked will be an ex-washing machine…power shower fuct also….sorry..burst on major main in chalk hills most likely with cross contamination..water board insured against “consequential damage” …..sue

  220. 220
    WeatherMyArse says:

    “Sunbaked ground”?, not in the UK then?

  221. 221
    QuangosMyArse says:

    Dave, how many quangos did you kill today?

  222. 222
    Peter Grimes says:

    No wonder the Smith Institute went bust and had to forego its charitable status – as suspected, most of its income was from ZaNuLieBor and its quangos.

    Roll on the other departments, they will undoubtedly show even more funding for the SI, and for the loathsome ippr too!!

  223. 223
    Baroness Thatcher says:

    It’s all coming back to me…..

    news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/eng_v_sa_2003/3159585.stm

  224. 224
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am a chippy Jock who likes spending other peoples money, no suprise really when we I was bought in a household funded by the poor of the community

  225. 225
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Well wicked witch.innit!

  226. 226
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    Immaterial who has jurisdiction,invasion carried on a vote in house of social workers,teachers,solicitors,fund managers etc.The highest court in this sceptered isle remains the jury of ones peers.

  227. 227
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Incomplete comparison fallacy, surely?

  228. 228
    Harry the Camel says:

    Oi !

  229. 229
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    QUE i am from barcelona i can spik english i learn it from a buck!

  230. 230
    My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

    This place is finished,the attire i choose to clothe me feeet n heeeed is noo illegal

  231. 231
    Sir Digby Anonymous says:

    including hoovering…?

  232. 232
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Exactly my point.

  233. 233
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    The incomplete comparison fallacy, I would venture to suggest.

  234. 234
    Kess says:

    WTF is “strategic consultancy” anyway? It seems to be one of those glib and pretentious buzz-phrases that ought to raise alarm bells whenever it’s encountered.

  235. 235
    Anonymous says:

    Just read a few of the Lefties’ attempts at justifying such waste- utterly shocking. These clowns don’t seem to realise that such publicly funded largesse is totally unacceptable to the average tax payer. They instead try to smear Pickles.

    As for the tosspot who said that spending money on a Blackpool outing was good value if during that trip they came up with ways to save £100k- they should bloody well be doing that in the office if that’s their job. Easy way to save money is to fire most of these wasteful public sector scum.

  236. 236
    D L George says:

    Anyone notice the TV media are not reporting this?

    Talking of Labour wasting money, we were at Hartlepool to see the tall ships the other day. To get there you had to walk past two giant monitors showing bl**dy Mandelson on repeat. To make matters worse they had fairground attractions stealing money off kids and foreign sailors trying to win giant teddies, called, wait for it, ‘TONY BEAR’.

    We passed the enormous Corus steelwork factories, the only sign of movement was the hoards of park & ride busses. Sad. Nice one Labour.

    Hartlepool’s socialist elite reckons it’s spent wodges of taxpayers cash hoping people will return when the ships have left. No they won’t you daft useless brainwashing no good thieving b*stards.

  237. 237
    Jock Strapped says:

    Balls – Crackers

  238. 238

    Why is this such a problem consultancy keeps people in jobs and mainly these people do a good job

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    Meanwhile he has scrapped rather than reformed the only potentially independent body that body that might have held those funded via his own department to account. I wonder how many “advisors” loaned by the big 5 Audit Firms worked on the recommendation to scrap the Audit Commission.

    It may have been bloated with an overpaid CEO but it was nothing like as bloated and overpaid as the big accounting firms and their Partners who will charge more for doing less. How many of them have even done a value for money audit for shareholders as opposed to defending top management from shareholders and HMRC.

    Role on a new generation of Pickles-enabled troughers to keep Guido in scandals for a decade to come. I wonder what the LibDems make of this one.

    What about the views of all those new MPs with backgrounds in Local Government.

    Or all those Conservative Councillors who are the backbone of the Constituency Parties and now have to deliver even bigger cuts than Whitehall – usually with rather less flab to cut.

    They may have hated the Audit Commission’s role as a Nu-Labour enforcer but many had equally strong views on Mr Pickles – “might have been good value a decade ago but now seriously out of touch with reality”.

    There are real fears that he lacks the brain-power to avoid being manipulated by his officials and advisors into doing a Thatcher – centralising control in Whitehall (poll tax etc.) while claiming to be curbing abuse and opening the books.

  240. 240
    Old dog no tricks says:

    It was never a monkey – monkeys are (fairly) closely related to humans.

    I think it was a Tampon !

  241. 241
    Old dog no tricks says:

    If the big players wont attend unless there is a slap up dinner at the end of it – what is the point of it anyway ? Just a slap up dinner at taxpayers expense !

    Yes – cut business tax (and income tax !) – in fact make government exist on social donations ! People would donate (as per charities) if they thought the money would be well spent – wisely ! And for their own good !

  242. 242
    Old dog no tricks says:

    I’m no lefty – but the point is well made – the current crop are a bunch of lefties who lost the red ties !

    No change under this lot either – we’ll just be able to see how they’re troughing themselves this time – without being able to do a damn thing about it !

    slowly slowly people will stop watching where our money is going – and of course the politicians will always be able to explain what a wise spend it was – and nothing will happen ! Cameron will ‘have evry confidence in his people’ and the issue will go away because they know – that there is nothing the people can do about it until the next election. At which point – they are stupid enough to put the last lot back in ! And hey – we’ll get a new leader and have our go again in 5 years time.

    Makes me sick ! But then – I didn’t vote for the lying cheating c*nts !

  243. 243
    Old dog no tricks says:

    No they are all scroungers on excessive pay and perks who care not a jot for the membership so long as they get their grossly exagerated wages for doing f*ck all useful.
    They are power hungry c*nts – another load of power hungry troughers but (sort of) in the private sector !

    This takes nothing away from the unpaid reps who often do a damn fine job protecting vulnerable staff – I know I have met one or two !

  244. 244
    Old dog no tricks says:

    Depends whether they are consulted about anything useful – which is highly unlikely given the record of the last government !


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