August 9th, 2010

The Fable Digs In

In a first since the formation of the coalition, Vince Cable has had what could be described as a good day. Well he seems to have got his own way for once at least. Despite the idea being “Miltoned” previously by Downing Street, it now looks as if Cable’s plans for taxing successful graduates have been given the nod. Apparently taxing aspiration is making Britain “fairer”. No wonder he had some nice things to say about his bosses today:

But the big surprise, which in some ways is a pleasant surprise, is that the coalition does actually work. Personal relationships are very good, very businesslike. Having worked with the Tories, at close quarters, I’ve been pleasantly surprised that they’re not as I’d envisaged them.”

You could have fooled Guido. Cable has been walking around looking physically pained by his predicament. Rumours are circulating that he threatened to resign if his tax plan was rejected – perhaps he would have ended up back in Labour. It would not have been a fatal blow to the government though. Is placating this increasingly doddery old crypto-socialist really worth burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt?


  1. 1
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    vinec 2 the cable” twat

    • 2
      Gone Fuckin mental says:

      he sould be on the other side of the house

      • 7
        concrete pump says:

        He should be on the other side of the fucking moon.

        • 28

          Do you remember his mansion tax?
          Announced it right on the stage at the lib conference and had to backtrack almost before he had finished speaking.
          A total disaster.

        • 65
          "burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt?" says:

          what was your solution Fawkes ?

          doing away with fees altogether ?

          or would that go against the Blairite consensus formed since he introduced fees to pull the ladder up after you ?

          • Honest View says:

            It would have been better never to have admitted so many”students” that we can no longer afford to educate them; and so the bright will suffer along with the scruffy layabouts.
            Alas, too late now….

          • pull the ladder up says:

            Blairism it is.

          • Soap Opera and Daytime Cookery Programme Studies undergraduate says:

            Pull the ladder up now, for all I care. I’m going to get an upper second and Daddy’s going to buy me an ounce and some pills.

          • oldrightie says:

            Higher qualifications through hard work lead to better paid jobs and higher tax liability. Ergo, success breeds success.

          • Doctor Mick says:

            Success breeds success unless you penalise success.

          • Anonymous says:

            Honest View is 100% correct.

            Plus, as well as the funding aspect, the numbers are one of the drivers that are dumbing down degrees. ( The pressure to get cash from foreign students irrespective of their ability is another. )

          • Osama the Nazarene says:

            No problems with burdening GPs with a graduate tax. Their aspirational money is only there due to the incompetence of the previous liebor administrations.

        • 254
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          He is on the other side of the moon, in fact, he may be the other side of the moon.

      • 126
        Grammar School Boy says:

        They’ll wait and see if Laws D can be is salvaged in expenses and PR terms then slot him nicely into Vince’s current role as Business Secretary.

        Vince will be the first major casualty of the new term. Hopefully!

  2. 3
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend who thinks Vince is a legend . I thank you .

    • 47
      Matthew Amawillywally says:

      Mmmmm – I love joy, too, dear. Fancy a quick fondle?

      Now, over to Dan: Cumulo Nimbus or Blue Stratos, Dan, love?

  3. 4
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    “this increasingly doddery old socialist really worth burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt? ”

    What else does a socialist do ?

    • 67
      Socialist Dave and his Socialist Policies says:

      Vince Cable: “Cameron is 100% behind my graduate tax proposals”

    • 142
      Peter Grimes says:

      Well his old mates in ZaNuLieBor have buggered the next generation and the one after that with an enormous, crippling debt given their spensthrift 13 year misrule. Uncle Vinny is still a closet Labourite at heart, like most woolly LibDumbs!

      • 314
        Nick2 says:

        But according to Wikipedia he only stood for Parliament as a liberal (democrat). What was the Labour connection?

        • 369
          Angry and Despondent says:

          Cable was a Labour councillor in Glasgow before he went to work for Shell. I suspect his socialist colleagues on the council disowned him for taking the filthy capitalist shilling so he joined the Lib-Dems.

    • 401
      MI5 says:


      Spot on…

      This is what Toenails recently wrote in the Telegraph :

      “Cable, who has known and liked Brown for three decades, was a regular pre-election visitor to Number 10. There were even hints of a ministerial job for him. Brown ignored the advice of Cable and all his Lib Dem friends to find a way to get on with Clegg”.

      The judgement of anyone who has “known and liked” the Gurning Goon for “three decades” must be worthless.

      Cable is one of those who have “meandered” through British politics looking out for No 1 and power…

      Now he has it, he will certainly misuse it…

      He should be with the Zanu Labour children and Ponzi schemers…

  4. 5
    Toryboy says:

    “Having worked with the Tories, at close quarters, I’ve been pleasantly surprised that they’re not as I’d envisaged them.”

    What a royal twat.

    • 17
      Debts R'Us says:

      It’s great until the debt has to be paid back, but that’s always someone else’s problem.

    • 39
      Unsworth says:

      And how telling. So, up until very recently this condescending prat Cable obviously thought that all Tories were evil incarnate. What fucking moron.

      • 71
        Dig for Victory says:

        The insincerity and hypocrisy of some of these people is jaw-dropping. The process of them learning that they are just inferior must have been fun to witness. Hughes soon I hope.

    • 93
      "We're all in this together" - D. Cameron says:

      • 145
        Gideon Osborne will snatch your job says:

        Somebody please tell me that this snotty nosed wanker isn’t Chancellor of the Exchequer.
        It’s as fucking ridiculous as that stupid c unt Sarah Palin becoming President of America.
        This is like living in an alternative universe FFS, we have a wallpaper millionaire manufacturer who used to claim housing benefit running the country’s finances telling us how we are all in it together as he cuts our services while living in luxury at our expense.
        Fucking hell what a fucking joke.

        • 149
          We are all in says:


        • 191
          tit says:

          yawn fucking yawn twat…without the last 13 years we might be hearing better fucking voted for the labour wankers so stop whining

          • Osborne's a twat if you don't think so that means you are too says:

            I think you will find it was Tory turncoat wankers like you who voted the war criminal Tony Blair into power.
            I certainly didn’t.
            And if I were you I would very worried that Osborne is going to snatch your job as you could well end up on the streets.

          • tit says:

            the reason I am happily living out of the Uk is that I never voted labour in my life…it takes a particularly twatish bent to write the crap u do but keep it up someone has to preach bollocks to the thickos

        • 220
          cripple crackhead spastic innit? says:

          the TwAT lunatic is still talking to himself
          the drugs don’t work little man

  5. 6
    Tom FD says:

    If they introduce this, I’ll go and do a degree for free and then emigrate. :-)

    • 129
      Tess Tickles says:

      Good plan, but.. I get the impression Britain’s devalued degrees don’t cut much ice in the rest of the world. I worked in Germany 10 years ago and they didn’t think much of British degrees back then, so fuck knows what they think of the current annual vomit of useless qualification-laden illiterate mongs.

      • 154
        Cunning Bastards says:

        That’s the key to a manipulative government,let idiots think they are intelligent and giving them degrees you don’t have to go after the intellectuals.

  6. 8

    But grad tax is a good idea. We have too many people doing silly courses to keep themselves busy before trying to work.
    The idea that you actually pay a decent amount to cover the cost is only right, they need to flex it right so that it is not too burdensome once you have paid your fair share – but this is a good plan.
    Raising tuition fees too would work – the current system is a deluded form of prizes for all, expensive socialism.

    • 19

      I got a letter through today that I wrongly opened. It was for next doors graduate son. Seems he’s passed Indian head massage.

      I expect his masters will be crystal therapy and seaweed wrapping.

      • 84
        Anonymous says:

        I didnt waste my time doing a degree in crystal therapy I just sell the shit over the internet. Im very rich now.

        • 132
          Tessa Tickles says:

          “Im very rich now.”

          .. and unable to use apostrophes. At all.

          Are you sure you could have actually got into a university?

          Alas, the answer’s probably ‘yes’.

          • concrete pump says:

            80% of all the people i knew who went to university were utter cretins, they couldn’t spell properly, had very poor social skills and thought the world owed them a fucking living.

            I went to Holland for 2 years instead.

            Much better.

          • Thrusterbuster says:

            I’ve interviewed a lot of graduates for jobs over the years ..some are very bright..switched on to the real world and worth employing…others whilst having incredible qualifications couldn’t change a lightbulb and completely unemployable.

          • Anonymous says:

            .. and unable to use apostrophes. At all.

            No one I know ever got rich dependent on the correct use of Apostrophes you stupid fuck. No wonder you are in a dead end job with the Council.

    • 41

      Exemptions for maths, science (real, not political), medical and engineering degrees would be a good start – the media studies, historians, psychologists, PPE bullshitters and the like should have to pay a premium for the sake of studying something totally fucking worthless to the nation.

      The whole argument for expanding the university system was to increase the technical expertise of the nation, so why do we continue to tolerate bullshit degrees that benefit noone?

      • 60
        Albie Here says:

        So is this another way of getting people who’ve just finished Uni to get them to emigrate,just like Liebour did to all those new doctors a few years ago.

      • 98
        AbleThe SpaceMonkey says:

        Haha. Most of the intake to redbrick engineering course are from oversees. No jobs here for engineers, poor wages and not enough job security to raise a family/buy a house etc (and as for pensions …). Far better getting an easier arts degree and getting into the public sector.

        Have you seen what schools teach in science today?, it’s eco brainwashing, not the applied math/theory of 20+ years ago. School leavers are hopelessly ill prepared for undergraduate degrees in maths/engineering science, they are hard subjects , our kids know it and avoid them. School teaching does not attract mathematicians or scientists, compounding the problem of the dumbed down A level syllabus. You need to pay Maths/science teachers more than others, and be picky about getting those with decent degrees from reasonable institutes. (An impossibility, as the NUT would never wear it.)

        An engineering graduate can look at a starting wage in most manufacturing industry below that of a waste collection operative.

        What proportion of MPs have PPE/law/arts degrees compared to numerate qualifications, who says such ‘bullshit’ degrees are useless?. Look at what those professional bullshiters earn (or are paid)!.

        A PhD in a numerate subject can open the doors to a job in merchant banking, but its the exception. As for starting a manufacturing company in the over regulated UK with employment law and health and safety regs etc, forget it. Who would be a capitalist making stuff here today?.

        • 140
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          Absolutely true. Therefore the argument for differential graduate tax or fees or whatever is made.

        • 201
          a career in science? no thanks says:

          Excellent post. I’m a scientist in a highly numerate field, 20 years since my Ph.D. and still paid less than the average train driver.

        • 297
          Scrap QUANGOs, EUSSR Law, AlJaBeeba, - and 13 years of Noo_Lie_Bore waste, bullshit & PC Bollocks says:

          Also SCRAP pretentious polytechnics masquerading as ‘Universities’ (sic), bring back USEFUL polytechnics, and run proper courses for people who wish to learn a useful subject – no, not meedya studies!

          FFS just do it!

          • AbleThe SpaceMonkey says:

            Bring back grammar schools, to give bright kids from poor families a way out and enrich the entire country in the process, it would also reduce the post code educational lottery . Dump the Lysenkoist idea that children are all born with the same academic potential.

            Allow kids who want to leave school at 15 to go, so that they are not miserable & dont disrupt the education of others; also it would be easier to get teachers to teach 16 year olds if the pupils are not there under duress.

            Basically undo all the damaging changes that socialist ideologists have implemented in the schools system over the last forty years.

      • 102
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        The whole argument of expanding the university system was to hide real unemployment levels under a Labour government. Spend 30 mins with any senior Don who’s seen the whole wretched destruction of a superior educational system over the last 13 years.

      • 244
        Norman Arse says:

        I’ve worked with many graduates who were for all practical purposes illiterate. All they’ve done is pass a few exams. They appear to have no general or historical knowledge and zero vocabulary. The most shocking thing is that 99 per cent of them have no idea about, or interest in politics. The Government of the future will walk all over them. Sad.

        • 406
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          Sounds like you want more History, PPE, media studies, or the kind of oxbridge education that makes you “the right sort of chap”.

          I wouldn’t expect someone with a REAL DEGREE to have been “taught” any of those things.

          I’d rather people learn how to use a slide rule than sit round smoking pipes and pontificating about the suez crisis.

          • Nick2 says:

            In my day political education was imparted by a row of broadsheet papers on racks that we were expected to read each day.

            With the internet, these days anyone in the UK can get at least a grasp of politics, especially as practically every secondary skool was wired up to ‘high speed broadband’ long ago by BT.

            The problem is that we, the people have been trained, right from the beginning of the WWW, to use BBC Online as the primary online source of news, together with some of the dead tree press, as they developed websites. Most internet users still get their news from a few sites despite the variety of the entire web, just as intensively reared hens remain inside their chicken barn, despite open exits to the yard outside it.

          • Anonymous says:

            SLIDE RULE…..? bloody hell modern or what

    • 59
      anonymouse in the treasury skirting boards says:

      No, vouchers are a good idea, along with privatised universities.

    • 155
      Fucking hang all politicians and royals says:

      fuck off you politician tory plant.more tax,sweat more

  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    A piece of raw meat to throw to LD conference reps. But will they be conned?

  8. 10
    Dy Anne Flab Bott says:

    I have nothing more to say.

  9. 11
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    What happens when alllib dems are exposed as loons ?

  10. 12
    McDoom is a cunt and always will be says:

    Don’t you miss the former prime mentalist’s unique take on reality?

  11. 14
    Tony Blair says:

    Things can only get better

  12. 15

    Its only another form of PAYE. We have that now.

    Despite what the socialists believe if a banker pays 25% tax and a care worker pays 25% tax, the banker does actually pay more tax. Somehow though, this isn’t ‘fair’ and a banker needs to pay 50% tax.
    So it will be with the grad tax. It will of course mean even higher wages for the top graduates to offset this tax, so widening the income gap further ..but that’s socialism for you.

    • 35
      Mr Plum says:

      Why not bring the tax in now for all people with degrees, guess most mp’s have been to Uni, why wait, if it is fair for future students why not for those who have already been.
      Only have an O level myself as you may have guessed.

      PS – How about having an A level or 6th form tax, the better your reults the more tax you pay.

      • 46
        Engineer says:

        Why stop there? We could increase revenues by taxing all manner of qualifications. HNC tax, City and Guilds tax, NVQ tax, Scout Badge tax, Swimming Certificate tax – the possibilities are endless.

        • 55
          Offshore says:

          Blogging tax?

          • Gone Fuckin mental says:

            Breathing tax ?

          • Gone Fuckin mental says:

            Window licking tax?

          • Engineer says:

            I was thinking specifically of qualifications.

            If you’re going to tax one sort of qualification, tax them all.

          • Mr Plum says:

            How about taxing annoying teachers pets who get their homework in on time, milk monitors, prefects, kids who hang around the library at lunch time.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            And the ones who always wrote very slowly and (ever so) neatly but always got rubbish marks in exams and ended-up getting shite clerical jobs in the civil service.

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            46 engineer. you end up with “just raise income tax”

            Which would be fairly reasonable if more effort was made to improve the eduction of the part of the population that didn’t go to university.

        • 198
          Reginald Chegwin says:

          Why not tax those who get no exams instead

      • 69
        low resolution fox says:

        When politicians look for ways to raise taxes they look for people who don’t currently vote. Kids and students don’t really vote so they’re always hit hardest.

        • 90
          Dig for Victory says:

          Kids hit hardest? WTF? Educational Maintenance Allowance of £30 a week, yes £30 a week, to 16 & 17 year-old’s, just for going to school FFS

          • Grumpy Old Man says:

            It’s less than they could make picking pockets, stealing handbags and dealing in drugs. I’m surprised anyone over 16 stays in school.

          • Laybour-educated chav cunt says:

            Skool sux. We dont go 2 skool coz laybuh pay uz benefit muhnee2 spend on sider.

          • My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

            30 fuckin quid………….30 fuckin quid…………… thats all these fuckers give me is 30 fuckin quid,40 benson,an aaaaiiith a blo,a pack a green rizzla anna twix is thirty fuckin quid,and this hhhhhooooooooooonnnnnn thinks its for going to skooooooll.M an that dude wants to go check out the prices

    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      Dont go complicating things now Bill as only elitist folk with an understanding o basic Arithmetic can follow your reasoning. That rules out most of our “A grade” students these days.

    • 410
      MI5 says:

      What happens when the successful just go abroad ???

  13. 16

    Errr..gummint provides service to citizen, citizen pays for service *if* it works out financially. Not sure of the problem here.

    • 24
      Anonymous says:

      How about this?
      …gummint provides service to citizen who chooses media studies. Citizen then spends 4 years or more gaining no marketable skills and then graduates to a life of benefits and paying no tax, instead being carried by higher taxes paid by others.

      • 135

        I’d prefer they kept their noses well out of it but being a pragmatist this seems not a bad solution. Media studies is a travesty and should not be a Uni course.

        • 227
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          Nor sociology; nor home economics; nor theatre; nor Social Sciences; nor Criminal Justice; nor liberal arts; nor clog making; nor anything vocational; nor Media Studies; nor golf management studies; nor psychology; nor sports science (ha ha ha – who are they kidding?); nor any fucking degree from a former poly.

          But the king of shit degrees has to be sociology.

          Who is going to employ a sociologist? FFS?

          • Anonymous says:

            Unfortunately there seems an abundance of non-courses that have a single purpose of massaging unemployment figures. A graduate tax will only be paid by those choosing a marketable degree, and prepared to work.

            I see enough graduates at the moment, indebted to the hilt with loans and credit cards and gainfully unemployed knowing full well that they’ll never need to worry about paying their student debits.

            A graduate tax will only make this worse as they won’t even see what their course has cost as it’ll be provided ‘free’ by the benevolent state, a bit like the ‘free’ NHS.. only free of course if you don’t work and pay taxes.

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            Agree completely, Anonymong.

  14. 18

    I’m in favour of taxing graduates with Mickey Mouse degrees

  15. 21
    Lord Manhandlebum says:

    How in the name of fuck does the prospect of increased tax rates encourage people to get an education and better themselves? Just take the education and emigrate then Cable’s idea is fucked anyway. We’ve been putting too many people through university for 25 years just because its a more convenient place for them than the dole queue. All these socialist plans seem to involve burdening the next generation with new debt and taxes – safe in the knowledge its somebody else’s problem. Labor = c unts. Lib Dems = sperm of c unts.

    • 81
      Honest View says:

      Agreed. See my comment above. It was an inevitable result of increasing the number of students beyond our ability to educate them, and of course all graduates will suffer.
      Some poor b….. will get a job that requires a degree, but only pays £18000, and they’ll have to pay extra tax for the honour of losing 3 or 4 years’ earnings, and this for the rest of their life.
      Unless, of course, they emigrate to make way for some more diverse and vibrant types.
      It’s a pretty thoughtless plan; in fact, it’s terrible. Cable, you’re a crapper.

      • 331
        Lord Manhandlebum says:

        Apart from being a flawed moral thought process, its actually unworkable. The majority of graduates dont get graduate level jobs initially – i.e. cant pay higher taxes for several years – if the education they receive is worthwhile then they will de facto pay higher taxes as they will be earning more from successful careers.

    • 233
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Heeeeer heeeeer.

  16. 25
    Past Unreal Conditional: if I had a slit, I'd stick a carrot in it says:

    WTF! A degree is proof you are an unemployable fornicating illiterate retard with crabs, chlamydia and a crystal meth habit.

    Looky here at Ms Woolley – who the fuck would employ that strange cu-nt?

  17. 26
    Joker Vince (National Treasure) says:

    Just think of me as the Henry Sandon of the political world.

  18. 27
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Sell Scotland !!!!!!!!!!

  19. 30
    Lola says:

    Cable is living proof of the saw that “There are only three types of people in the world. People you like. People you don’t like. And wankers.”

  20. 33
    Donald Trump says:

    I’ll buy it!

  21. 40
    McDoom is a cunt and always will be says:

    Truly one of the most odious, arrogant and objectionable people on earth.

    • 45
      Unsworth says:

      Yep, this ‘trial’ is fun, isn’t it? Here we can see the rich and famous for what they are. Campbell (Naomi) is the personification of the difference between wealth and class.

    • 56
      ellen emmeline says:

      There is a saying, ‘you can tell a person by the friends they keep’

      naomi is, of course, a personal friend of gordon and sarah brown.

      • 63
        McDoom is a cunt and always will be says:

        I used to like JK Rowling. Till I found she was a personal friend of Gordon and Sarah Brown, and even put her name to Labour’s election leaflets.

        • 77
          ellen emmeline says:

          Well let’s not forget the other brown bosom pals, pollytwaddle, stephenfry and bono!

          Musn’t their dinners at Chequers have been scintillating events?

          • Anonymous says:

            Let’s not forget Piers Moron, although we’d like to.

          • Why does Bono get a free ride?
            People rant about the earnings of Rooney, Queen Elizabeth II, Tom Cruise and Fred Goodwin. Yet Bono never makes the rich hate list.

            He is a singer of songs. A multi-millionaire singer of songs, yet he’s excluded from wealth envy.
            It can’t just be because he writes a few pages a year for the Guardian.

          • Celebrity Twat says:

            All part of the new age sanctimonious crew. Bono has been carping on about 3rd world debt for years and how we all need to help africa – why dont you donate 50% of your earnings Bonio and you’d still be no worse off. Funny how these people think an international profile qualifies you to deliver moral lectures to the rest of us.

          • happyclappy says:

            At a recent Bono concert he said that every time he claps his hands another child in Africa dies.
            Someone screamed ‘ stop fucking clapping then you eejit’
            Got a helluva larf.

          • Bob says:

            and they are all running for cover now that everone knows

            Brown was just an arrogant, gurning nutter…

      • 79
        Celebrity come dine with me says:

        And a friend of that shambling old shitarse, Mandela, and his best mate Chas Taylor, the murderous crook.

        • 127
          Average Whitey says:

          ‘Deep belly laugh’

        • 302
          Not long now says:

          99 dead baboons

        • 412
          Restandbthankful says:

          Your blog post will be read out at CHas Taylor’s trial just as the ex employee of Carole White made it yesterday. These lawyers must be searching the t’internet – mind you there are plenty of them sitting there doing sod all it would seem.

          • Airey Belvoir says:

            The aged terrorist-turned-saint is getting a completely free ride – why the hell is Mandela wining and dining a well-known mass murderer and torturer, and why is no journalist brave enough to question this piece of poor judgement and taste?

  22. 44
    ellen emmeline says:

    What happened to the Student Loans Service? Student takes loan to pay his way through Uni and then when he graduates and gets a job he pays the student loan off over five years from his salary.

    It worked before labour came in what on earth has happened to it since?

    • 50
      Mr Plum says:

      Got to earn over 15 grand a year before you start paying it back, could take a lifetime for most students

      • 54
        ellen emmeline says:

        What sort of graduate are you if you don’t get a job at more than £15k pa?

        The graduates that I know that came out with relevant degrees as teachers, lawyers and quantity surveyors were all getting more than £15k in the 1990′s when they started work.

  23. 48
    Ratsniffer says:

    Try as he might, St Vincent just cannot shake off the idiology burned into his brain during his days as a socialist. Yes, he might call himself a liberal democrat, and so might many others. But they have the same wet socialist instincts as they did before they defected from labour to set up their own ramshackle camp on decidedly soggy ground.

    So the middle classes are evil, we must tax them to the hilt, we must punish ambition, investment, job creation, stifle social mobility and encourage the state to suckle the poor underclass. Oh and let’s not forget those darling criminals..all victims of course….so nice of Ken Clarke to see it our way!

    If you voted tory…try not to vomit when you see what you’ve ended up with.

    • 53
      Red and Blue make ? says:

      That’s because even when up against the most incompetent, bullying, avaricious, lying, steaming pile of shite, that the Labour government were, they couldn’t convince the voters that the Conservatives represented real change.
      Why do you think that is?

      • 91
        Honest View says:

        I voted Conservative, with reservations, as a means of ousting the appalling Brown.
        But I certainly didn’t vote for the left-wing policies that the Lib-Cons are churning out.
        It’s the same old problem: we Cons have lost our natural right of centre party. It’s just faded away. Even a sensible saving like the nursery school milk affair causes panic in flappy Downing Street.
        Sad times.

      • 144
        The Voters says:

        Because the were politicians.

    • 165
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      I only voted to get rid of Gormless and his hideous cronies. I had no illusions that the alternatives would be much better.

  24. 51
    Dack Blog says:

    I never thought I’d say it but I’d hate to be my aspirational working class young self again – in this current (and ongoing for some time no doubt) climate.

    Why not just limit degrees/vocational courses to loanworthy ones where you have hope of a decent profession (and hence likely to pay more taxes anyway)? Compete for bursaries if you want to study something that’s unlikely to guarantee later material gain?

  25. 52
    Eweniversity of Edinburgh says:

    I could not give a rat’s arse if students starved to death. They are lazy, soap dodging, labour sheep who ponce about in sportswear poking their noses into other people’s live. They are scroungers who treat University like a leisure centre. They get in everybody’s way. Arrogant plukes.

    • 123
      Honest View says:

      Some are indeed. But there are also worthy and academic types who deserve better than to be treated along with the no-hoper pretend students. Inevitably socialism drags down the worthy, the able and the aspiring.
      All must have prizes. And now taxes as well.
      But as all socialists know, taxes are in themselves good.

  26. 58
    Postlethwaite says:

    There is no alternative, but to emigrate. Let them whistle for the tax.
    When I was young, mother did not work, bins were emptied, no potholes in the road, education was free, dental care was free, . . . .


    • 76
      Albie Here says:

      Things have never been free,somebody paid taxes for services but mp’s just got greedier along with all their mates in the banks and the law and businesses and all wanted public money for doing F’all and the greedy MP’s helped them all while getting a cut,now we have little money and the MP’s and there mates have a life style to keep up now want to tax us until our pips squeak,good job we know where we can get cheap piano wire and we know where all the lamp posts are around that evil place called the Parliament are.

  27. 62
    Graham says:

    Graduate. Emigrate. Simples!

  28. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will make a statement to the house on Tuesday about this .

  29. 75
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    • 80
      mad kunt says:

      whine whine whine whine whine

    • 152
      David Cameron will snatch your job Guaranteed says:

      How the fuck did we end up with this c unt in charge?
      FFS we just got rid of that c unt Brown and now we have this millionaire, gutless housing benefit cheat in charge. What the fuck is going on here?
      Oh yeah, I almost forgot, we didn’t vote for this wanker, he didn’t win a majority and doesn’t have a popular mandate, he had to cobble together a coalition with that fucking EU sellout Nick Clegg who speaks in German to his press officer who is a fucking foreigner to take the piss out of the journalists he is giving a press conference to.
      Fucks sake what the fuck is going on.
      David Cameron is a proven liar: he lied that Iran has nuclear weapons which is probably the most dangerous lie a politician has told since Tony Blair said we were under a forty five minute threat of attack; he lied that the Iranian president said he wanted to wipe Israel of the map, when in fact he said he wanted to wipe Zionism of the pages of history: big difference.
      He lied to his own party by saying the Lib Dems had a guarantee that Labour would vote for AV if the Lib Dems formed a coalition with Labour and he lied that Great Britain was a junior partner in 1940 when in fact we stood alone during the Battle of Britain against the Nazis.
      David Cameron is just a fucking liar.
      He is not fit to lead the country.

      • 382
        wick says:

        you are on osborne one minute and them cameron…what a twat..can only assume you are a 12 year old with a secondhand desktop…take a hike c’unt……..thank fuck wankers with airbrains like you don’t get anywhere in life except on people’s nerves

  30. 94
    Piece of paper with a tube posing for a photograph says:

    That piece of paper you get at the end of 3 years or so is worthless. Expensive arse paper.

  31. 96
    bluebell says:

    Educate to emigrate – thanks Vince!

  32. 99
    Tachybaptus says:

    What Cable thinks he is doing is shown by the picture that he has chosen from the government’s picture store to hang on the wall of his office. It’s a lithograph of 1941 by Eric Ravilious called ‘Working Controls While Submerged’ — see

    (The link may have to be clipboarded and put in by hand, I don’t think Guido trusts this free web hosting service.)

    The seated figures in the submarine have an uncanny resemblance to Knave ‘n’ Dick. Possibly the one who has collapsed over the instrument panel is meant to be Cable himself, who must have had more hair in the 1940s than he does now, secretly pulling the levers of power unnoticed by the other two.

    I am not intending to mock Eric Ravilious, an excellent artist.

  33. 101
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    You heard it here first folks !

    Tories feel coalition backlash in Scotland – Herald Scotland | News | Politics

    Support for the Tories has fallen significantly in Scotland as the party suffers a backlash in the wake of David Cameron’s cuts agenda, a new poll reveals today.

    • 103
      Liam Bryne says:

      Sorry theres no money left

    • 115
      Anonymous says:

      What a fucking surprise. Who gives a fuck what the jocks think anyway?

      • 409
        Independence Now! Rebuild Hadrians Wall says:

        Scotchland is a failed state, if it were not for English money that pays for their bloated socialist nirvana, they would be starving in the streets.

    • 116
      purpleline says:

      We don’t care we want Scots to leave the union and make all fkg Scots in England have a visa. Fucking hate Scots bastards I am waiting in York-minster every Saturday just to kill one of the fuckers

      • 394
        Anonymous says:

        PURPLELINE : Whats your arrangements for the weekend is your ex allowing u to take the kids to Mickey D’s or is she still pursuing that interdict against you ?

    • 121
      Gone Fuckin mental says:

      Tell the fucking Jockenese to fuck right off

      • 288
        Anonymous says:

        116 Tell the fucking Jockenese to fuck right off

        Wot like your wife did ya fat slob ?

    • 124
      Rain and Shine says:

      Well in truth the tories have never done well in Scotland.

      And when you look at the vast benefit culture that labour created there over the last 13 years , decimating what manufacturing jobs there were in the north – neither will they.

      The only way for the scots, according to the scots, is to live off the state.

      • 130
        tartan tits says:

        They actually think that money grows on trees in SW1A, the daft twats.

      • 138
        Hairy arse in a skirt. No. Not Dianne Abbott says:

        Your average Jock was quite content with hammering bits of metal, or burrowing down holes for lumps of black rock, and then the tories nuked their industrial landscape, and left them with nothing.
        Is it any wonder they feel resentful?

        • 161
          Engineer says:

          Part of the problem is that their “industrial landscape” produced things that people no longer wanted. When the Far Eastern chappies started building ships quicker and cheaper than the Clydeside yards could, Clydeside either couldn’t or wouldn’t adapt to compete.

          Other nations found that they could dig up black rock (often by opencasting) and deliver it to the UK cheaper than the jocks could dig it up. They wouldn’t adapt either (see Mick McGahey for details).

          So they ended up being heavily subsidised by public money during the 1970′s just to shut the Unions up. It finally became blindingly obvious that that situation couldn’t continue when 45% of the nation’s income went on propping up loss-making nationalised industries.

          Sadly, the Scots adapted less readily to world realities than most of the rest of the UK, and some still don’t get it.

          • Sir Mark Thatcher says:

            Part of the problem was that the money men that bankrolled the Tories policy of fuck the people, we’ll get in cheap overseas labour to make us rich, couldn’t have given a fuck for the Scots, just cast them aside as so much industrial detritus.

          • ellen emmeline says:

            ‘The Scots adapted less readily to world realities …and some still don’t get it’

            Gosh Eng! You’ve just written the most telling inscription for gordon’s political headstone!

          • Bigot says:

            And, just as sadly, the Scots retain a bizarre dominance: subsidised by the English; inappropriate influence in HoC; and a (now deposed) imposter masquerading as an economic genius.

          • Ron E. says:

            It’s their hilarious chippyness and the way they’re utterly oblivious to the fact that they are being openly mocked that is most amusing.

          • As bad an understanding of History as an American says:

            Engineer and here was me thinking Arthur Scargill, Jack Jones, Red Ken etc were English. Thanks to your post I now realise they must have been Scots

        • 176
          My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

          Is that jocks in scotland you are refering to,o of course the clyde,silly me a closed shop all of its the unions are on the march for diversity where was it then in scotland…………….in my opinion the best scottish workers are those that left to find work

        • 187
          My Lord Sweating-like-a-pig of Glasgae, (but not by effort) says:

          … hammering bits of metal …

          aye – ah rose frae tha shop floor – jus like ma canny boy PrizeClot

      • 172
        Mong Watch says:

        maggie created it with their parents labour inherited the kids who are now the adults.

      • 174
        Anonymous says:

        That’s fucking bollocks.

        You’re obviously a thick Hunt.

        Did you go to Eton? You appear to have as much grasp of history as that twat Cameron.

        In the 1950s the Tories got over half the popular vote in Scotland.

        Now fuck off.

      • 245
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        Wrong! go back four or five decades and Scotland was a Tory paradise. Gerrymandering sorted that out.

      • 336
        Lord Manglebum says:

        Labour has always gerry-mandered. They create a nation that is dependent on government for benefits and non-jobs. Only come recessions there are insufficient tax receipts to prop up the bullshit system. Labour & Libdems answer? Borrow more to perpetuate benefits and non-jobs. Its a parasitic philosophy.

    • 170
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      In the words of the bollocular one, “So what?”

  34. 104
    Spark says:

    Your wirings fucked mate

  35. 105
    Eweniversity of Edinburgh says:

    Graduates are ten a penny. 70% of undergrads are wasting their time and tax payers money.

  36. 106
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    I will organise this at Guido’s request

    Guido would like to see Jeremy Paxman interview Naomi Campbell

    • 171

      Jeremy Clarkson might be better.

      • 192
        Rain and Shine says:

        No No we need an aggressive american interviewer.

        They don’t have respect for money or anything. And they will absolutely love the fact that she was the friend of Ex PM Brown and his unlovely wife, and that she said she was lobbying for african charities and yet she still accepted diamonds from an african warlord who caused 100′s of thousands of deaths.

        The Brown’s in the last few weeks have been lauding their role in African Charities. They’ve gone awfully quiet all of a sudden haven’t they??!!

        Of course it remains a mystery doesn’t it, why did he give naomi diamonds? What for?

        The truth will out eventually. The South African police have found three of the six diamonds. I wonder where the other three are?!!

        • 199
          Diamonds are forever on the markets says:

          Up her skinny fanny.
          That’s what i call a pension plan.

        • 275
          Have I understood this correctly says:

          This Guy who Naomi gave the diamonds to 13 years ago to pass on to the charity , he kept them until recently right ?

        • 393
          J R HARTLEY says:

          The South African police have found three of the six diamonds. I wonder where the other three are?!!

          The Elven Lords have them, hidden safe in Middle Earth.

  37. 108
    And the Queens says:

    Daves favourite war criminal.

  38. 110
    DC says:

    “Is placating this increasingly doddery old socialist really worth burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt?”


  39. 112
    Guido Fawkes Press Officer says:

    Vote Labour

    • 117
      Rain and Shine says:

      You’re a trifle premature – not likely to get an election until 2015.

      Perhaps you should start canvassing nearer the time.

      • 150
        Grass roots Liberal Democrat says:

        2015? You’re having a laugh.
        Wait until conference starts.

        • 168
          Another Lemon says:

          Heard a factory has been commissioned to make a large number of lemon suits,should be a very visual conference.

          • The bitter taste of Government says:

            But the Tories are only in power, as long as the lemons provide the juice.

        • 177
          Rain and Shine says:

          I bet the labour conference is going to be a real laugh!

          Anybody know if they’ve invited the reclusive gordon to come and give them a talk about how ‘He Saved the World’?!

          • The next Prime Minister says:

            He’ll be there, endorsing Milly Vanilli’s ticket back into power.
            You know it’s going to happen, just a question of when?

          • Rain and Shine says:

            He’ll be there. Lauding his role as the saviour of Africa. I wonder if they’ll have his bosom pal naomi there too to back up his credentials.

            No doubt she’ll storm off stage if anyone dares to ask her about why she was given £thousands in diamonds by an african warlord who caused thousands of deaths in war.

            Lovely people!

          • Herman Van Rompuy of the Socialist EU future says:

            It’s going to be fun deciding on Britain’s next Prime Minister.
            Meanwhile, as old Tory parrots drop off the perch in increasing numbers, are you ready to squawk your last hilarious posting?

  40. 114
    dysfunctional families says:

    I was wondering where all these hopeful labour leadership candidates had got to, as they have desperately tried to get away from the media.

    Well it seems balls and family have gone to New England, same place as the browns – a last tweak of the balls campaign with help from the ‘master’?.

    andyb has gone to oban scotland in a little cottage – isn’t that where whelan and the unite leadership are living it up this week at union members expense?A chance to plead for some votes?

    diane abbot is proposing to disappear to ‘somewhere exotic’ as soon as the campaign is over. That’ll be g*hana* where she has placed her son in private education as far away from the British media as she can get him .

    And the milibands? Well one’s in Edinburgh and one’s in Cornwall – they obviously don’t want to be anywhere near one another!

  41. 128
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    Looks as if Charlie Boy is going to be able spend time with hith special friendth, Glenda Fiddich, and Glenda Grant.

  42. 131
    Charles Kennedy says:

    A wee bit off topic, but it looks like whoever had August in my divorce pool has won themselves a few quid.

  43. 148
    Vince Cable says:

    It’s a lot more fun in opposition. You have absolutely no responsibilities and you can come out with any old crap and people think you’re a genius. I think I’ll resign.

  44. 151
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    The Downing Street cook keeps telling me how nice it is to cook for a human being. She says she got sick and tired of having Nokias and bits of potato thrown at her by what she calls the “foul smelling man who used to live here and ride his rocking horse every night while smearing gravy over his face. At least, I think it was gravy.”

  45. 153
    Sarah Kennedy says:

    Woo Hoo

  46. 159
    Tat tap says:

    Its a strange country where doctors are paid mountains because they are the only ones who can treat patients but real engineers who make the equipment the docs use don’t have to be legally qualified and can be paid rubbish.Its equally hard to qualify as an engineer as a doc but a load of people who are no more than slightly skilled artisans call themselves engineers.

    • 162
      Virtual Engineer says:

      Those that write the software that do the diagnosis for doctors are the same.

    • 179
      Engineer says:

      Not really.

      To qualify as a doctor requires longer and more intensive study than almost any other vocation. To gain an engineering degree and work to full professional qualifications takes as long, and is also hard work (I know – been there, done that) but it’s not quite as intensive as medical study. Practitioners in both professions improve with experience.

      Most science and technical subjects are hard study; that doesn’t necessarily mean that non-technical subjects are easy.

      By the way, it’s not true that real engineers don’t have to be legally qualified. In many fields, they must hold full professional qualifications before they are allowed to act in a position carrying responsibility.

      • 417
        wick says:

        engineer it always amuses me that it takes 5 years to become a doctor but 7 to be a vet…strange that

    • 183
      My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

      Not true,all personell in the med-supplies ind. must be regulated by EU law whether packaging.developement,design,manuafacturing,supply.Sorry

    • 214
      Reginald Chegwin says:

      The market pays the going rates for your skills and experience. A Doctor is currently worth more than an engineer on average as more arduous training, longer hours, etc.

      • 316
        Job Done heres a script says:

        Doctor listens to patients symptoms then consults mims.

      • 368
        a career in science? no thanks says:

        Not necessarily — it isn’t a free market, more of a monopoly for the medics: the NHS, BMA et al. see to that.

  47. 160
    Twat Vision says:

    never forget the tories.

  48. 185
    Edmundo Ross says:

    I don’t know why they don’t just increase the tax on petrol!

    Anyway, it’s nearly Christmas

  49. 190
    Whiff whaff politics says:

    Right! Let’s open a book.
    Who will be the next Prime Minister?

    • 193
      The General says:

      no one the revolution is next

    • 202
      Rain and Shine says:

      More interesting, let’s open a book on what year labour are going to get back into power if ever?

      Or do we think davidmilitwit is likely ever to be elected as PM?

      • 224
        Herman Van Rompuy of the Socialist EU future says:

        You don’t.
        But who takes any notice of a brain dead Tory troll who will soon be dribbling into your soup at the same time as filling the colostamy bag, and screaming “Maggie is a Goddess” at every EU care worker sent from Turkey, to keep you in happy retirement.

  50. 195
    Ex Libris says:

    Do a Prezza – Minister for Feck All.

  51. 203
    Loony plans by the desperate says:

    So what is the income this tax is paid from?.Undergrads don’t work.

  52. 205
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    I’m getting tired of Brown phoning every day and screaming down the line “I’m still prime minister”. It always ends the same too. The phone gets taken off him, I hear a scuffle and someone shouts “Get the straitjacket”.

    • 215
      BrokeBack Cameron says:

      And then Nick puts the straightjacket on me and it’s up the arse time for Dave!
      What jolly japes!

    • 216
      Rain and Shine says:

      I hear that Edballs and his family are holidaying in New England alongside gordon and his family and that what is happening is that gordon is advising dearest ed on the last stages of his leadership challenge.

  53. 207
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    • 266
      Anonymous says:

      Thank fuck this madman was ejected from Power. Here he was happily forcasting that he would ensure the deficit was going to continue to rise under his administration.

    • 281
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      snore snore

      • 298
        Schrödinger's cat says:

        Does not take you long to sockpuppet does it? Go and have a pot noodle.

        • 391
          Anonymous says:

          Tat your multiple alias’s are boring me. Have you really nothing better to do thn have conversations with yourself on here all day long ?

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            Category mistake, correction reads: Single alais. Multiple sockpuppet users.

            You only get sockpuppets when people fear what you have to say. Truth can be uncomfortable.

  54. 210
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    • 247
      cripple crackhead spastic innit? says:


      • 263
        BrokeBack Cameron says:


        • 269
          Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

          Dave’s not a housing benefit cheat.
          What he did was entirely within the rules, albeit in a system that wasn’t fit for purpose.
          I told you all so, but did you listen?
          Did you fuck?

        • 272
          BrokeBack Cameron (not the mad c'unt thick arse thieves) says:

          fuck off and use your real tatmoniker if you dare you cowardly little shitbag

          • BrokeBack Cameron (not the mad c'unt thick arse thieves) says:


        • 301
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          Does not take you long to sockpuppet does it? Go and have a wank in a pot noodle.

          • Schrödinger's cat says: says:

            Does not take you long to sockpuppet does it? Go and have a wank in a pot noodle.

  55. 212
    David Cameron says:

    I would just like to assure my fellow millionaires that we aren’t all in it together, that was just a load of PR crap to fool the peasants. We will make sure that we millionaires don’t pay our fair share to the reduction of the deficit and that we will palm most of the repayments onto poor people, women, the disabled and low paid workers.
    Don’t worry, be happy.
    Everything’s gonna be alright.

  56. 213
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

  57. 217
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

  58. 218
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

  59. 219
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

  60. 221
    Rain and Shine says:

    Andyburnham apparently is holidaying in oban scotland , the same place as whelan and his unite mates on their five star ‘paid for by members’ champagne and caviar junket.

    I wonder…………

    • 270
      Laying a cable: My cables are more intelligent than Vince says:

      That, my friend, is bad news….Oban was my favourite tipple……how do I know it’s not tainted by those diseased bastards, eh?

    • 324
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      nothings too good for the wankers

  61. 222

    I’m a graduate of the University of Life – even though I’m dead

  62. 225
    cripple crackhead spastic innit? says:

  63. 230 ad infinitum says:

    Capital Gains Tax.
    Corporation Tax.
    Income Tax.
    Inheritance Tax.
    National Insurance Contributions.
    Excise duties.
    Insurance Premium Tax.
    Petroleum Revenue Tax.
    Stamp Duty.
    Stamp Duty Land Tax.
    Stamp Duty Reserve Tax.
    Environmental taxes
    Airport Tax
    TV license
    Council Tax
    Business rates

  64. 232
    Herman Van Rompuy of the Socialist EU future says:

    History will show that Gordon was right, and you numbskulls were wrong.
    That’s because we plan to introduce the new pan European education policy.

  65. 235
    Herman Van Rompuy of the Socialist EU future says:

    OK, boys. We’ll just sit tight until 2014, when the infidel Brits cut and run, and then we’ll deal with Karzy.

    • 253
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      You’re fucked.

      • 257
        Herman Van Rompuy says:

        Who by? Your government?

        • 274
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          Yourself. What goes around comes around.

          • Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

            That’s what the dead and maimed women and children of Iraq and Afghanistan pray for.

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            Do you just want a fight? That’s ok by me but try the argument first. I may agree with you. C unt.

          • Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

            The argument is, that Parliament was in overwhelming support of a suicidal foreign policy, and the top brass in the army failed to point out the imbecility of sending troops into a no win situation. It doesn’t help that the troops are too fucking stupid to say, “Fuck this for a game of soldiers, we’re off”, but rely on the old Nurenburg defence of “We were only following orders”
            Well, if Politicians order you to lay down your life in defence of a corrupt government, ours or theirs, take your pick, why should we shed crocodile tears, like the opening charade at PMQ’s.
            Become a sheep, and expect to be led by the nose to the knackers yard.

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            No. You do not appear to have a proper perspective on how politics works. (Do not worry, I am not happy about the situation either.) But, to have any reasonable system, the executive must control the military. I am not saying this as some scholastic theorist. I know what it is like to be in a country in a time of coup. More than once.

            You try living in a third world dictatorship and you will learn a bit.

            A gentleman from Sierra Leone that I met at Banjul airport was flying his family back to Freetown as he considered that it was reasonably safe to return after the civil war (Both countries are English speaking, which explains why he had sought refugee stats there.) He said to me, and I will not forget his words until the day I die, “The worst civilian government is better than the best military one.”

            If you have any shred of sincerity, you will ponder these words. Otherwise feel free to flame me and the other readers here will make their decision.

            I have also lived extensively in Guinea, Conakry in the last ten years. Just look it up first before carping.

          • Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

            The executive must control the military?
            I’m sure i’ve heard that argument before, somewhere.
            You’re right, i don’t have a proper perspective of how politics works, otherwise i’d be sitting pretty on the green benches, screwing the taxpayers for everything i can get, while pissing myself laughing at the concept of equating Britain with Sierra Leone.
            Is that what we’re judging ourselves against?
            A million sad arsed mongs marched against the war, to the hoots of derision from 50 million couch potatoes, and who did the politicians take as a sample of popular opinion?
            Every dead serviceman is a tragedy, but if they go there with doubts about the mission, who’s the mug?

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            OK, I understand what you are saying and can even agree with parts of it. But you are taking my argument into other territory. So be it.

            Look at the lives and regimes of Lansana Conté, Dadis Camara, Nino Vieira, Charles Taylor, Tamba Gborie, Alex Tamba Brima, even Yahya Jammeh in a more modest way. These are all example of military regimes. Deaths, rapings, beatings, suppression of the press, extreme poverty (the poorest nations on earth).

            On the matter of equating Britain with Sierra Leone, the gentleman that I quoted who was returning to the latter country was a cut above the couch potatoes that you refer to (except I would dispute your number.) So the concept is not quite so ridiculous as it may appear at first blush. Of course in other areas, comparison would prove ridiculous; Sierra Leone is nothing like as overborrowed as is the UK (OK, its debt of 815m was cancelled in 2006 – UK’s debt is heading for the trillion mark.)

            Any ‘sad arsed mongs marched against the war’ in these countries would have been shot on site and their bodies dumped by helicopter far out at sea.

            If your underlying case is that we need to urgently review our entire approach to military involvement overseas, then I agree with you. It is in a horrible mess. We would probably disagree over what the priorities were and on how to raise the funds to implement. But I see no point in having a row over areas on which we agree.

          • Schrödinger's cat says:

            My fourth paragraph should have read:

            Any ‘sad arsed mongs marching against the war’ in these countries would have been shot on sight and their bodies dumped by helicopter far out at sea.


  66. 246

    I am dead funny but also probably dead

  67. 258
    gorbod says:

    Here’s Vince Cable with a blakey:

    Disgusting! I bet dogs are not safe round the dirty old bastard.

  68. 262
    Dead dog bouncer from nieghbours in Downing Street says:

    We’re OK.
    He only fucks Tories.

  69. 280
    Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

    All you Tory shit arse trolls that castigated the Labour government’s failure to be present at the return of dead service personel, must be in awe at the honour guard the new cabinet form, down at Wotten Bassett.

    • 319
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      You f ucking oaf

      • 327
        Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

        With your expert directions, they should have no problem finding the place then.

    • 325
      Mohamid O hara says:

      I’m an Irish Muslim

      • 329
        Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

        I’m an oaf, rather than a bag of offal arriving at RAF Lyneham.

        • 345
          The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

          I dare say that they didnt fancy coming home in a rubber bag and a zinc lined box
          So spout your filth little boy

          • Alan Duncan. Minister for lawn aid says:

            Well as my old Dad used to say, they shouldn’t have joined up, if they can’t take a joke.

          • A filthy little boy says:

            The beast of clerkenwell.
            Another armchair warrior prepared to shed anybody’s blood but his own.
            Ever thought of standing as an MP?

  70. 282
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Did you know that call me Dave wanks off to pictures of Blair ?

  71. 304

    I have a very massive funny boner. I do hilarious stand-up routines at a venue called European Parliament. And you will laugh at all my very funny jokes – or else.

  72. 305
    Anonymous says:

    @Alan Duncan it’s not a colour guard for returning coffins..a colour guard escorts the Queen’s Colour. What was your unit? Q company, Hampstead Militia?

  73. 310
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Vin Weasel
    When he is not in action he is in traction

  74. 322
    BrokeBack Cameron (not the mad c'unt thick arse thieves) says:


  75. 328
    Graduate from the Eweniversity of Edinburgh says:

    Do you want fries with your puked up cows arse of a burger? Coke? Small, medium or large? £2.50. Have a nice day.

  76. 333
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    Martin O’Neill has resigned as Aston Villa manager with immediate effect.

    Kevin MacDonald has been appointed caretaker boss while the reason given for O’Neill’s decision to leave after four years in the job is that David Cameron is a keen supporter of Aston Villa and Martin O’Neill is “hacked off” with the coalition’s policies.

    Martin O’Neill endorses Ed Milibvand as Labour leader

  77. 337
    BrokeBack Cameron (not the mad c'unt thick arse thieves) says:

  78. 338
    Kamikazi says:

    I’ve had enough

  79. 339
    spunkback Gordon says:

    Has anybody seen my keys ?
    I tried to get into my house but a kindly British Bobby who obviously didnt recognise me screamed “Fuck off you nutter”
    Another labour achievement
    Armed guards outside of all houses
    I was screaming through Tonys letter box on Sturday night, I think he was watching the lottery draw when another Bobby beat me to the ground with his rifle butt
    Who can say that this Labour govt are soft on crime
    Has anybody seen my wife lately?

  80. 343
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    I’m off to bed. Goodnight all. Anything posted after this timestamp, until tomorrow, is the work of sockpuppet/trolls.

  81. 346
    Too pissed to think of a moniker says:

    Let’s play a little game.
    Imagine that the Afghanistan tribal leaders wanted to free the backward British peasants, who were so fucking uneducated that they subscribed to the belief in Parliamentary democracy, from their serfdom, that they invaded the fundamentalist heartland of London Province, in order to bring the concept of the Loya Jirga system of representation to those poor souls.
    How long would it take, watching Afghan nutters with awesome firepower swaggering down your street, giving sweets to your kids, and looking at your missus as if she was a potential shag, before you were out throwing petrol bombs at them?

  82. 350
    A Drink or Two...Thousand says:

    Former Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy and his wife Sarah are to separate.

    A statement issued by the couple’s respective lawyers said it was “with great sadness” that they had decided to split.

  83. 353
    Gordon Brown says:

    I saved the world.

  84. 364

    Only Labour will protect child tax credits. Only Labour will put milk in your babies. Only Labour will protect child tax credits. Only Labour will protect the poor. Only Labour will protect child tax credits. Only Labour will improve education. Only Labour will protect child tax credits.

  85. 377
    albacore says:

    The captain’s daughter, Mabel
    Could do things with a cable
    That gave relief
    Beyond belief
    Upon the galley table

    (With apologies to the revered authors of “The Good Ship Venus” but my tittle-tattle discriminator was swamped by the cry-babying about expenses claims by some MP or other up there in the “Seen Elsewhere” crap).

  86. 381
  87. 388
    Anonymous says:

    “burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt”

    That’s right Mr Fawkes – whatever happens don’t tax the rich.

  88. 392
    Down with Brown! says:

    Sarah Kennedy has had enough of boozy Charlie.

  89. 396
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    Prime Minister David Cameron pledged on Tuesday to re-introduce”boom and bust”
    The Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition, which came to power in May, has said it will spend at least 25 percent more across most government departments as it tackles a budget deficit running at around 11 percent of national output.

    “At a time when we’re having to take such difficult decisions about how to cut back without damaging the things that matter the most, we should strain every sinew to re-introduce “boom and bust”,” Cameron wrote in the Manchester Evening News

  90. 399
    Fucking Tories says:

    Fuel tax is theft

  91. 400
  92. 402
    Nick"The Dumb Waiter" Clegg says:

    Picture the scene, we both get to the toilet on a Ryan Air flight to Spain, and I can’t get an erection She got really upset, when I couldn’t give a flying fuck

  93. 419
    Trev says:

    Post like this show you are just a stirrer and make a nice living out of it.

    I would like to think that all education were free for everyone. But since its not and currently we see graduates burdened with debt, just here would the money come from – seeing how the national debt is heading towards 1.4 trillion.

    Just what might be a better idea?

    The more people seek to slag off Cable (who I do not have a great deal of time for) the more I think they are desperate to feed their own prejudice. Cable is an average minister? Shock Horror. He seems a better than average member of the coalition to me.

  94. 424

    It reminds me of that Churchill speech were you can please some of the people some of the time………………………………………………………….

Seen Elsewhere

Guido’s Column | Sun
NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads