Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View
Another Twittish Tweet from Kerry McCarthy | BBC
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
HuffPo Hiring Pro-Iranian Mehdi “Act of Desperation” | Fox News
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
The udders will be along shortly
*Applauds*
Nick demanded this a part of the coalition agreement.
PHWWWWWOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200506446736 if anyone wants it
Cameron being the TIT ?
4 days of The “SCUMS” page three stories there.
One good churn turns deserves an udder
Ist gut.
Is that one teat for every LibDem cabinet member?
Were did you get that photo of my mummy
Now that is what I call a sow the *ankers will be wanting plenty of that
I can’t help being reminded of Tony’s call for ‘high profile initiatives in his name’.
Is Dave calling for unpopular initiatives, in the names of others – to overrule?
Mike Smithson also tried to calim this was a ‘cunning plan’.
As usual Smithson was talking rubbish.
You only had to look at poor David Willets being made to look an absolute fool on TV today by a panicking Downing street to realise there was nothing planned about this.
And if as, Smithson claims, it was a cunning plan to give the Lib Democrats credit for stopping a cut then the spin coming out from CCHQ that Dave and Dave alone stopped this proves him wrong too.
Shouldn’t that be “…in the name of udders…” ?
I’d rather not.
I love being covered in a milky liquid.
Not as much as me ducky.
Vote Labour.
I am the true and rightful leader of this proud independent nation.
Vote None Of The Above.
Gobshites the lot of ‘em.
My flabby saggy baps are big enough to provide milk for every child in the country.
Unfortunately, Jacqui, the BSE test just came back and you’ve been condemned.
Please report to the pyre for incineration.
Easy now….
Where’s the BerCows?
Milking it a bit, don’t cha’ think?
It’s all gone tits up for Cameron
Staff at No10 tell me every day how nice it is to work for someone who doesn’t fly into a rage and shoves them. One of the secretaries said she still has nightmares about the time Brown threw her out of her chair and hurled a Nokia at her.
Now the staff have to cover their eyes as Nick pins me to a chair then farts in my mouth while milking me.
Stop milking this story for all it’s worth.
Round here the ladies call me Roger the milk – It’s ‘cos I come in pints.
Suck my fish flaps. They’ve got dry rot though.
And they stretch from Luton to Portsmouth…
She was actually repairing a house Southampton, which is even further from Luton.
Mea culpa – I knew it was somewhere on the Solent.
Paragnostic: Southampton is on Southampton Water the last time I looked. In view of your nautical knowledge, I think we will promote you to lookout on our newest ship. I suggest you practice the following phrase. “Iceberg dead ahead!”.
Royal Yachting Ass anyone?
Paging Dr. Freud…
Oh for fuck’s sake Guido. Sack Rich & Mark. Please!
Give them a raise!
They certainly gave me one!
Calm down Mr Osborne!
There’s enough there for you Gove, Hague and Nick.
Absolutely. This sort of stuff is neither funny nor relevant. About as bad as the “cartoonist” in the Telegraph; can’t remember his name. One used to see funnier stuff in public lavatories.
Garland.
He’s utter shite.
Garland yes, but not the excellent Matt.
Christian Adams is quite good, in my opinion.
Paul Daniels, with eight penises, some with icicles on the end ???
FOOKed up Toons!
Come suck at my teats little minions.
Jesus fucking Christ my eyes.
X2
Have to agree, that’s not the sort of thing i expect to greet my eyes on a Monday morning.
Dave learned how to suckle from me.
Now he can suckle all his piggy MPs too.
god bless all our dead troops… oh right! it’s Camerons problem now so I don’t give a fuck about them any more.
“You could hear the ‘oofbeats pound as they raced across the ground….”
Two-Ton Ted from Teddington wants a word.
Trigger wants his oats.
Ever since the election, the only way to cheer myself up is to put my head under the sheets and smell my own farts.
I smell my rentboys to cheer me up. Worth every penny of the taxpayers £40,000.
So THAT’S the paradigm for running Labour’s leadership election
I feel much the same way…
Talking of tits. Salmond is a big natural.
http://news.scotsman.com/politics/Salmond-offered-RBS-help-in.6463526.jp
We in Labour were all good and obedient and kept our mouths shut when it came to Ecclestone, Lord Paul and Michael Bollinger.
I sit in a bathtub and create a jacuzzi by farting while I read The Third Man. I’ve already pre-ordered My Journey.
rat a tat tat he’s a drug addict twat
Is the title ‘The Third Man’ a subliminal nod to the way that Mandy has funded his lifestyle?
After all,it’s a small step from penicillin trading to aluminium oligarchy…
Ted’s milk tastes of Bolly.
Surely you mean Bally?
The National Bullying Helpline tell me calls from No10 staff ceased after I became prime minister. They say that before, they were regularly inundated with calls from staff who were terrified of the smelly man who used to live here.
Now all the calls are from staff complaining about the shitty smell coming from Nick Cleggs cock after he visits me.
I love to suck.
I prefer knitting and basketwork.
I didn’t even realise that nurseries were giving “free” milk to under 5′s until my 4 year old told me he’d been drinking milk at nursery every day; it was news to me.
At first I thought; that’s nice/good; they’re using part of my fee to pay for some milk for my kid; that’s fair enough as long as it’s just coming out of their profits.
When I realised it was free and that I wasn’t paying for it through the fee, but through my taxes, I thought:
“hang on a sec. that means i’m paying for all the other kids’ milk too, because the parents of half the kids here aren’t working. it also means that my retired neighbour who’s 80 is paying for my kid’s milk in his own way.”
It strikes me as just plain wrong to get schools/nurseries to give children free food/drink; it’s down to the parents to pay for it.
I’m a parent, and I don’t want this shit coming out of my taxes; if my kid gets milk then I want to pay for it.
By all means have the nurseries/schools supply it to the kids if the parents/kid wants it, but let the parents pay for it.
I’m a parent, and my kid’s been getting “free” milk, and I don’t want it to be “free” anymore, I want to pay for it. I want to do this on the principle that all the other “free” things that shouldn’t be free will also get stopped, so that my taxes can be reduced and so that we generally don’t piss all our national income up against the wall against things that should be down to individuals to pay themselves.
For fuck’s sake; the tax payer shouldn’t be footing the bill for this kind of stuff; feed your own fucking kids with your own fucking money. If you can’t feed you own kids, then either don’t have kids, or get a fucking job.
My 80 year old neighbour, or the intern down the street, should not be paying for my fucking grocery bill.
tell it to Dave
It’s to spike the Labour bedwetter’s rallying call of ‘Thatcher, Thatcher, milk snatcher’.
Dave’s not falling for that a second time.
Hit nail on head as always.
Heard yesterday that is was actually Harold Wilson that started to withdraw free milk, but then as he was a Labour PM he is above blame and it was Mags that ended up with the epithet.
Lace the milk with gin or something serious I say
At least that sends the “kidz” to sleep
(along the lines of “Leave the kidz alone” and all that trash…)
Free milk for the rich!
It was the Labour government which started the ball rolling by stopping free milk for secondary schools. Not a murmur about that.
Wilson didnt rhyme with anything like “snatcher” and they therefore couldnt think of a pithy headline . So he got away with it.
Wilson rhymed close enough with Quisling but he got away with that. He had friends in low places.
“Free”? You can bet that once all of the admin costs are factored in it works out at about £ 1.50 a pint.
I wanted to start a scheme wherby you had to hand over all your milk supplies to Government and then claimed a portion of it back. Milk Credits it would have been called.
I bet you have private medical insurance as well.
If the parents fad to pay for it there would ve no takers!
And then hear the NFU complain???
Here Comes The Sun … But I Say, It’s Alright
Seems Dave Brown or is it Dave Bliar is in panic mode at number 10,we are either in deep deep sh*t money wise or we are not,he could save more by getting rid of all these PR sh*ts and hangers on but then I suppose non of the MP’s would have any work after their sojurn into politics or should or that be sucking at the public teat
We are in deep shit “money wise” of course. Where have you been, the moon?
Kircaldy.
Eres a funny thing, this morning on the today program the scotish labour man and the nasty, rich, welsh man of the people were talking about ‘Thatcher the milk snatcher’. Now there is a funny thing.
And ere’s another funny thing. They never bleat on about ME cutting free school milk for secondary school children. Maybe it’s because I’m a socialist? Labour cuts good, Tory cuts bad.
Let them
eat cakedrink milkI just love champagne
And Gucci shoes
‘Ere’s another funny thing – it were nice out this morning, so I reckon I’ll leave it out all day!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1301405/BBCs-800m-licence-spend-23-rise-budget-public-sector-faces-savage-cuts.html
The BBC is pissing in the face of the British Public
Again…
They clearly do not give a damn and think they are above the law and accountability…
Break up the BBC and privatise the parts…
make them work for a living like the rest of us…
This so called News item is filled with “coulds” and “might be’s”. Its pure speculation and filler for a slow news day.
Young humans are “children”.
Young goats are “kids”
Young interns are “prey”.
Aren’t they fags?
Mares eat oats,
And cows and goats
And little lambs eat ivy.
A kid’ll eat ivy too
Wouldn’t you?
Damn, this dementia and second childhood thing’s a pain…
Sure is.
The second line is “And does eat oats”.
Thank you.
Why not Gordon Brown as this Monday’s morning view? You can’t get a bigger tit than that.
You might not have noticed but he’s no longer PM so no longer relevant in any way…
I wonder if The Big Society is going to be big enough. We might need a massive, or mega or incredibly big society instead..
Like Zanu Labour’s Big Tent what ?
Until it collapsed in a heap on their own heads like their Ponzi Scheme…
How about a new initiative called “A Big Load Of Bollox “!
…. and another tit here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7933703/Hypocrisy-of-speeding-middle-class-motorists.html
what is it about fucking police?? get away with murder then have a go at everyone else – bastards
His force was on film smashing up a RangeRover and manhandling a disabled pensioner last week.
Why is a disabled pensioner, who has already suffered one stroke, and who tried to justify driving away when stopped by the police by claiming he thought he was about to have another one, allowed to drive?
Isn’t he a danger to himself and others?
Either that or he is lying through his teeth. Then again pensioners dont lie do they.
Maybe one day when you’ve had a stroke you will understand and not be so smart with your comments, if you can stop dribbling.
If I have the misfortune of thinking Im about to have a stroke and two Police Officers were talking to me. I would ask them to call an ambulance. In my opinion this guy is telling porkies.
Have to be fair Susie – he was guilty of not wearing a seatbelt, which is truly an offence against the Nanny State.
Besides, most Range Rovers in North Wales are driven by Scouse coke dealers on their way to Rhyll, so it’s not surprising that Pryderin the Plod (or is that Huw Heddlu) got a bit antsy with his stick.
If police are idiotic wankers, then North Wales has the national bards of twattery.
Rhyl, not Rhyll.
I suppose the working class never speed! – Oh in fact the figures are higher for working class people caught speeding, so what the feck is this silly bitch going on about. She is a Labour supporter enjoying a bit of class warfare
Me thinks the police have now become our new spiritual leaders! as they seem to spend a lot of time preaching about morals and doing sod all about crime !.
P.s the worst offenders for dangerous driving are as a group are so called ‘trained’ police officers their accident rate is appalling [2.000 injured 25 deaths 2008 ] they have no fear of prosecution and the public cannot report them, go on try it see how far you get !.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1301418/One-council-house-families-earns-national-average-wage.html
Guido
Here is proof that your comments on council housing were right yesterday…
One couple won £ 4 million in a lottery and are still living in their council house FFS…
is there anything wrong with staying in their home?
Yes. They should have bought it and sold it off at a profit. The should have sold it to a buy to let investor who could then have let it out and received housing benefit to pay the rent. That was the whole purpose of the legislation.
At last, someone who can see that Housing Benefit should be called Landlord Benefit.
Holy JC, not moderated??????
I just love champagne and my husband’s non dom salary…
I also wear Gucdci shoes and use Vuitton bags…
Nothing like being an obscene “Socialist”
And standing for Election for all those poor Danes I do nothing for…
I thought that was Prescott for a minute. Then I realised he had not been on a diet and has actually put on a few pounds since he became a Lord. Or maybe all those robes and fur don’t flatter his figure?
I really am at loss to understand why this free milk issue gets so much coverage and so many people get so fired up about it.
It’s some bloody hangover from WW2 as far as I can make out the very last vestige of rationing ie food was limited to everyone so they gave children more milk ( just as certain classes of manual worker got extra rations – my uncle as a fireman on the LMSR got extra cheese which he sold on the black market – and they issued the milk ration to childrfen at school to stop parents putting it in their tea).
It seems used by the media as a symbol that tories are nasty – when they have nothing else they fall back to the ” thatcher milk snatcher “jibe
And it gets used by the lefties to prove there is chunk of the population so ground down by poverty they can not even afford milk for their children – which is rubbish….. there might be a chunk of the population so feckless and stupid they won’t .
The only people so ground down that they can’t afford milk are the dairy farmers. We’ve lost 70% of our dairy herds over the past decade.
Never mind there’s all those nice subsidy payments to keep them going.
A waste of taxpayers’ money that the Tories and their chums in the Taxpayers Alliance are strangely quiet about. Can’t imagine why.
Read it and weep
http://farmsubsidy.org/GB/browse
Even with subsidies, the farmers are so screwed by the supermarkets and the major dairies that they can’t make a living.
We’ve pretty much eliminated the sources of Britain’s greatness – the Empire and manufacturing. Do we wish to stop feeding ourselves as well? Food and energy production are strategic resources of which a sensible government will ensure their survival.
I’d rather see the supermarkets forced to pay a realistic price for milk, and poor old Tesco’s profits suffer a little, but subsidy is the way that has been chosen, and it’s better than no farmers.
Funny, there’s no shortage of rich farmers here in the West, of course most are not real farmers but Buy to Renters made good with other people’s Housing Benefit.
30 years ago farmers drove Austin Allegros and LandRovers (you know, the real ones). No so now. Find me a farmer without a massive 4 x 4 and another for his wife?
Did you notice that there are almost 10,000 pages of these sponging c*nts
no wonder you never see an old tractor in the countryside anymore !
No old tractors but lots of shiny new windmills providing free electricity and a nice extra income for farmers paid for by the rest of us through inflated electricity prices.
This is Rich & Mark’s worst yet.
Are you pretending to be new around here, Sir WW?
Someone says that every week.
I suppose it could be true. Perhaps every one is worse than the last.
Free milk is like Radio 3: no one needs it or really cares about it but it is a visible, noble, and highly quotable demonstration of where one’s money was spent.
Sounds like a description of us !! ( Except the ‘noble’ bit; we socialists don’t believe in all that ‘flummery’ )
Radio 3 is more like crack – if I don’t get at least one dose of Arvo Part a week then I start getting the urge to listen to hip-hop.
Visible? I thought it stopped in most places in the early 70s.
I thought I was one of the very last english persons to get free school milk.
Does the coalition know what economic havoc it is wreaking ?
“Double Dip” recession here we come
The recovery in employment levels has “stalled”, with a growing number of employers planning to make staff redundant, according to new research today.
A survey of 600 employers found that a third expected to cut jobs in the next three months, the worst figure for a year and up from one in four at the end of 2009.
The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) said more public sector employers were planning redundancies than in private firms.
Martin why the moan you have a NewConLibLab in power carrying on with Brown and Bliars good works in destroying the country,after listening to Grant Shaps or whatever his name is on BBC radio 4 ,giving money for public housing,you couldn’t have a more left wing lot in power.
“A survey of 600 employers found that a third expected to cut jobs in the next three months”
Start with the gobshites at Broadcasting House and Shepherd’s Bush.
It’ll save each family 145 quid a year.
Children ! “Come and suck on my milky goodness ”
Doesn’t work !
Tried it down the local park and got five years !
I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!!!
So whats new ?
Cameron is used to being in charge of a group of tits !
Why do we still give free milk to children anyway ?
There are no longer any POOR children
if they want milk
let their parents buy it for them
Don’t forget free fruit as well.
Not means tested either – why the FUCK should I be paying for Tabitha and Rupert’s bloody apples.
Because no politician when it comes down to it has the guts to tell people that this is unsustainable and if they want their pre-school children to have milk they should bloody well pay for it.The idea was only a “proposal” of many floated and wasn’t even policy but of course that didn’t stop the BBC and Labour(who created the mess in the first place)and various other leftties from howling from the rooftops and recounting when Thatcher stopped free milk in 1975!!!
Dave should have said actually I hadn’t considered this but actually it’s a bloody good idea and that £54 million can be better utilised than paying for Jemima and Tarquin’s playtime drink(which their Mummies can afford….school meals are means tested for those on income support anyway so they could still have the milk free although we musn’t stigmatise people must we if their parents would rather use their benefits to buy a pack of ciggies than milk for their kids) and the country can’t afford this luxury and its no good blaming me I suggest you contact the Labour Party but of course he’s as gutless as the rest when it comes to taking the really really tough decisions. Mais,plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
Because every single piece of research shows that when you means test any benefit the ones who disproportionately don’t take up the benefit are those most entitled to, and in need of it.
Making a benefit free to all is the price required to ensure that those who most need the benefit receive it.
And don’t forget that means testing has a cost in itself. More red tape etc.
Guido, why do you use (I nearly typed ‘employ’ but thought better of it) Rich & Mark. Have they got the negatives of you at “That” party or was it with someone in a compromising situation?
Stone the crows, mate! they are truly bad. Sorry chum but they are simply not funny.
Yes, yes, I know I can claim a full refund before slinging my hook, but, my comments stand. Find a funny cartoonist.
I told him to use someone else, but does he listen to me?
Does he fuck!
Totally agree 100% They are shite !
I am appalled by this cartoon as it does not mock Labour but instead has the sheer effrontery to mock the wonderful Dave. Sack Rich & Mark now.
I think he just likes drawing saggy tits.
Why is Cameron wearing a vest made from used condoms ?
He looks like a sow with all her piglet’s missing
But i’m forgeting he is after all an MP !
that’s disgusting Guido – bin the losers
Rule 34 strikes again!
More butter “finger” milk of comedy entertainment from Team Big Society yet to be delivered on your doorstep….
Bigger Bank Bonuses
Bigger Bank Profits
Bigger Tax Breaks for the Wealthy
Bigger Unemployment.
Bigger Bankruptcies.
Bigger Crime.
Bigger Strikes
Big Trouble in “Tut” North
Bigger Debt
Check my cartoons.
Rich and Mark cartoons hit a new high in controversy on Guido Fawkes blog site
I’d best not mention the “School fruit and vegetable scheme”
You’d think it grew on trees. (Well some of it!)
%
%
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SUKKERS
YORE MILQ IS BEING IRRAYDAEAYTID
AND THERE IS NUFFING THAT YE KAN SAY ORE DOO ABAOUWT IT
*
ASTA
Has the government done a U turn on milk does the U stand for udder?