August 9th, 2010

Diane’s Dialling Dilemma

Guido was following up, what turned out to be, a dud tip-off last week that gave him reason to put a call into the Abbott campaign. Or at least try to. It turns out it’s quite hard to find any contact information on her website, in fact there are no details. After a quick ring around, the consensus was that the person he needed to talk to was Sally Scott, who handles Diane’s media. All very well except the number he was given was a parliamentary one…

Abbott has barely raised any money for her campaign, but that does not give her an excuse to flout the very clear rules that state you cannot use your parliamentary office, phone lines or staff hours for campaigning in an internal party election. Abbott’s website for her constituents states Scott handles her media concerning her job as an MP. She is breaking the rules if there is no defined crossover. Guido cannot see how his chat on Friday, about Andy Burnham, with a publicly funded spinner, Sally Scott, could have aided Abbot’s constituents in Hackney in any way.


  1. 1
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Its Balls i am backing


    • 6
      Ed Balls for Shadow Chancellor says:

      Welcome to the taxi cab, plenty of space.


      • 71
        dud tit I am following says:

        Guido backs Balls for the Leadershi.. shit he’s going to come in last now


        • 87
          New Balls Spin Doctor (Whelan has turned his coat) says:


          Very unfortuneate side effect…

          But rather amusing…

          The Zanu Labour Party is deeply influenced by Guido you see…


          • Piggy apologist says:

            or Guido has the foresight of someone who lost £500 thinking David Laws wouldn’t get sacked


    • 180
      Engineer says:

      What makes you think Abbot isn’t really serious about wanting the job? What makes you think that she just wants the publicity that being a candidate brings?


    • 234
      Sir Barrington Minge says:


      Abbott is toast anywhichway!! – Burnt toast!!


  2. 2
    hmmmm.... says:

    tops up belly wobble


  3. 3
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    In other words , she is no better than The rest of em


  4. 4 says:

    Domain name:

    StreamlineNet Limited (On behalf of a customer)

    Registrant type:
    UK Individual

    Registrant’s address:
    Castle Square
    DE73 8DY
    United Kingdom

    Fasthosts Internet Ltd [Tag = FASTHOSTS]

    Relevant dates:
    Registered on: 14-Mar-2005
    Renewal date: 14-Mar-2011
    Last updated: 03-Apr-2009

    Registration status:
    Registered until renewal date.

    Name servers:


  5. 5
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend who does not spin for Diane


  6. 7
    Arthur Pedant says:

    End of first paragraph, it should say “all very well EXCEPT”.


    • 41
      albacore says:

      O dear, A P, do keep up.
      Fawkes throws in these faux pas all the time to check who’s paying attention.
      If you look very carefully, you may spot (or not) a missing word, too, plus variations in surnames.
      You’ll have to be quick, though, because he tends, when sober, to revisit and perfect the deathless prose for posterity.


  7. 8
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will make a statment to the house at 14.30 about this


  8. 11
    University of Gorbals South says:

    I dinnae care. She’s the gal for me


  9. 13
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Its a shame really , I kinda like the woman


  10. 15
    Mr. Skill says:

    I’m not into politics, but nice blog though


  11. 16
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    “All very well accept the number he was given was a parliamentary one…”

    Typo !


  12. 17
    M H says:

    In her own mind, she feels like she doesn’t have to follow the rules. She considers herself so disadvantaged that she is allowed to use tax payer funded facilities for her campaign.

    She is the token candidate on almost every level- female, black, fat, single parent. This means that in her mind she can do whatever she wants and justify it.

    She’s doing this for all those people in society who are in the same boat as she is, struggling to get by on an MP’s salary and expenses. Life’s tough for her, so she makes up her own rules.


    • 28
      JL says:

      I think that just about sums it up – for her and, indeed for a lot of the labour apparatchik. Rules are for “other people”.


  13. 20
    BirdLover says:

    In Balls we Trust


  14. 24
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Can we call her a fatty ?


  15. 25
    Michael Heseltine says:

    It wasn’t Brown, it was Balls!


  16. 26
    Ed Balls says:

    Hi , My loyal supporters

    1 , Free vuvuzelas for all voters and this will create jobs

    2 , A naked picture of my lovely wife

    3 , A free copy of Gordons book on saving the world

    4 , The public flogging of Tony Blair

    5 , And a promise to end boom and bust

    Vote for me , Only my policies will get the UK working again .

    Love Ed xx



  17. 29
    Faith is a fine invention says:

    Abbott has not got a hope in hell of winning the leadership whether she breaks the rules or not.


    • 258
      Mary Sweeney says:

      Guidos’ passim. I have never spoken to you in the past why would I speak to you now?

      (Emily will explain it!)


  18. 30
    Ed Balls says:

    She is a Fiddler !


  19. 32
    Honest Fatty says:

    devious by nature


  20. 33
    David Heathcoat-Amory’s gardener says:

    Horse shit


  21. 34
    Sir William Waad says:

    After this item on Diane Abbott’s election campaign, can we have a piece on Blackpool’s bid for the Premiership title?


  22. 35
    Chris Huhne says:

    Theres nothing like coming in a fluffy duster while nibbling a hob nob.


    • 52
      Sarah Twat, the Twitty Totty says:

      I like a rug myself.

      BTW – anyone know where MH is or what the fuck he’s up to?

      PS – to all tapping twattys – MH is what I call my … my … my … O never mind!


    • 213
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      How about having a wank in your pot noodle?


  23. 36
    Spoon bender says:

    Diane’s Dialling Dilema?
    Has she been dialling 999 again because she has lost her slippers? Tsk!


  24. 38
    Backwoodsman says:

    Can you expand on, ‘handles her media concerning her job as MP’ ? Does that mean the tax payer has to pay for all 640 of the fuckers to issue puff pieces ? How many share a PR drone, or do you only get access to one if you are particularly disadvantaged like our Diane ?


    • 54
      FT Correspondent says:

      Do Mps serve any purpose now ?

      They are “represented” by teams of spinners, goffers and bag carriers…

      Do they do anything and represent anything themselves ?


      • 67
        Anonymous says:

        Of course they serve a purpose. Without them what would Guido have left to fill his blog?


        • 78
          FT Correspondent says:

          So they have just become punching bags ?

          That explains why there are so many gay MPs I suppose…

          They must all be masochist…


  25. 39
    Labour party spokeperson says:

    You are only picking on her because she is black .

    Mr Fawkes you are a racist


  26. 42
    Not rich enough – or on enough benefits – to be a SoShallyst, says:

    I can only look on with awe and loathing


  27. 42
    WWF Smackdown says:

    7 away


  28. 44
    Rendition, Torture & War Apologist, David Miliband says:



  29. 46
    Anthony Steen says:

    My 500 tree’s are coming along nicely,thanks taxpayers for the 87 grand.


    • 55
      Believer in Gorbals Warming, Climactic Changes, and all New Age hocus pocus says:

      We’re saved!

      SAVED! I tells ‘eee.

      Them trees’ll make luverly firewood


    • 56
      Jack says:

      And what have you done with the duck house FFS?


      • 61
        Jack says:

        Sorry Viggers is the duck house, not Steen…

        Steen thinks his house is like “Balmoral”…

        Another nutter…

        Thinks he’s really made it…


  30. 53
    Robert Syms says:

    Hired a tranny at the weekend and took the rest of my 2000 grands worth of furniture to my flat that I had delivered to my mums.


  31. 58
    foul play says:

    7 away


  32. 66
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Ho hum


  33. 72
    Bob says:

    Can someone tell me whether Jim Garner is a real person ?

    Standing for the Leadership of the Labour Party ?

    WIth ads on this blog ?

    And knocked out of the race already ? WTF is going on ?


  34. 73
    Richard Younger-Ross says:

    Its lovely seeing yourself from different angles in four 300 quid mirrors.Thank you my public


  35. 74
    Die Ann Fat Bot says:

    I’m off home to have a nice pot of riiiiiice aaaaaand peeeeeea. Here’s my taxi receipt for £563,247. I have nothing more to say.


  36. 80
    Windowlicker beanpie frenzy says:

    fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap


  37. 82
    Bad assets says:

    Mia Farrow CIA


  38. 85
    • 90
      New Balls Spin Doctor (Whelan has turned his coat) says:

      After Ashcroft it does seem extraordinary that Cammo should choose this guy..

      Is there not a no onshore taxpayer who can act as Tory Treasurer..?

      Are there any onshore Tories left ?

      And what happend to that Hedgie who was Tory Treasurer and a partner of Cash for Perrages Levy ???!


  39. 86
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Gordon rang me in the middle of the night and began singing the Diana Ross song I’m Coming Out but only managed one verse before the phone was taken off him by someone. Then all I could hear was a scuffle, Brown screaming “I’m prime minister” and someone yelling “Get the doctor.”


  40. 88
    Burp,fart,slurp says:

    Join the do as you fucking like party.


  41. 92
    Margaret Moran says:

    My flange has dry rot.


  42. 97
    Gordon Brown says:

    Labour leadership race ? I think you are bonkers Guido , I am still Prime minster .

    I suggest you see a doctor .


  43. 98

    Dianne’s message service..

    The robotic, sat nav voice messanger says

    If you are a Labour Mp and wish to vote in the leadership campaign,press 1.. [1]
    You have selected ‘vote in election. … if you wish to vote for Dianne Abbott, press [5].

    You have pressed..five… Are you sure that is correct… press # for yes and * for no. [#]
    You have selected yes. ..Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t pressed it but accident or anything? [*]
    really? I mean really? You don’t think its a waste of a vote just pandering to pure tokenism? [*]

    Well ..Its your vote.. don’t let me in-flu-ence you.. I suppose its better than voting Bur-nham, but not by much.
    Thank you

    The tally for Di-anne Ab-bot so far is…. one.
    [click …brrrrrrrrr]


  44. 99
    IMP says:

    Mrs Miliband is supporting Abbott, cos she suspects one of her sons is a torturer. She remembers all those chinese burns he gave her many years ago and shudders. She secretly hopes Ed will win.


  45. 100
    Moaty says:

    Vote for me.


  46. 101
    Dixon says:

    Evening all. Got a problem with middle class antisocials here in Dock Green. These class enemies are all the same. Running dogs of capitalism the Sarge calls ‘em.
    2 mph over the limit and they get the gulag in my book. You can buy the book, Das Kapital by K.Marx published by Fabian Press. Join the force and you get a copy free.

    Mind how you go.


    • 105

      Shouldn’t you be at the green policing and diversity awareness seminar?
      Started hours ago. Its in the room next to the ‘experiencing trauma over moaty’ support group.


      • 147
        Engineer says:

        Give him a break, Bill, he’s got to arrest a pensioner for saying ‘boo’ to a young hoodie who was expressing the sociatal victimhood he felt by breaking said pensioner’s windows. We can’t have people taking the law into their own hands and defending their property, now, can we? Especially not if they’re middle class.


  47. 102
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Who wants to see my beef curtains?


    • 117
      Urghh!!! says:



    • 155
      Leo says:

      Leo Beckett and Muddy Waters in 12/8 time sing;

      Gimme those ole beef curtains
      I got the beef curtain blues

      Woke up this morning
      was feeling kinda dead
      The caravan’s new awning
      didn’t cover the damp bed

      Looked over to the missus
      naked as a whore
      she’s open to abuses
      and showing her back door

      Gimme those ole beef curtains
      I got the beef curtain blues

      My morning wood’s a goodun
      though it won’t last for long
      it wants some fanny fun
      if a fanny wants a dong

      I really need to move her
      I make to turn her fast
      but Margaret can’t be bovvered
      So I take her in the arse

      Gimme those ole beef curtains
      I got the beef curtain blues


  48. 104
    PissedOffVoter says:

    So, after even more evidence of MPs lying, cheating and abusing the trust of the population, is there any point in complaining or should we just put up with it? O maybe invite them round for a cuppa? FFS where’s the revolution?????


  49. 106
    Mrs Gucci Kinnock says:


    I think you are being unkind about Diane…

    She needs all our help poor thing…

    Like Blinky….

    These waifs and strays should be picked up by the Battersea Dogs Home…

    They have clearly lost their way…

    Like their Parteh…


    • 233
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      I thought the Battersea Dogs Home had been putting 30% if their inmates down.


  50. 108
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Nick says I had a dud tip.


  51. 111
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    right having argument with a leftie , is the B&p a right wing or left wing party ?


  52. 120
    Kered says:

    Don’t forget, rules are like pie-crusts…..made to be broken!!!!


  53. 126
  54. 128
    Fuck Naomi Cuntbell says:

    ANOTHER witness just contradicted Naomi Huntbell’s testimony! That bitch is going down!


  55. 129
    More Bollox from Liebore says:

    OT but taking up yesterdays theme about the evil tories plotting to take the milk away from the kidz.

    Surely all Labour need to do now is produce the historic statistics of all the infant deaths and suchlike which followed the evil Thatcher Thatchers milk snatchers policy in the 1970’s.

    You do have those stats dont you Ed….Ed ?


  56. 130
    Anonymous says:

    I have nothing more to say Andrew


  57. 135
    Pedant says:

    All very well accept the number he was given was a parliamentary one…

    It’s “except”.


  58. 140
    They think we are daft says:

    Had to laf at sum PR bloke on SKY doing an interview on behalf of the Fragrant Ms Campbell and being at pains to tell us that her appearance at the war crimes trial would not damage her reputation. WTF WAS HE ON THEN ?


  59. 141
    Engineer says:

    Off topic, but what the heck.

    It seems that Chris Huhne has been talking to people who actually know what they’re talking about with regard to the UK’s future electricity supplies. Apparently, when he was telling us all before the election that we didn’t really need nuclear power, he was ‘misunderstood’.

    Let’s hope for the nation’s sake that he carries on listening to people telling truths, and not to the blinkered loonies he was pandering to before the election.


    • 149
      MI5 says:


      Even with nuclear the lights will start going out in Britain in about 2014

      We have discussed this before…

      Labour’s energy policy was non-existent…and totally irresponsible..starting with Ed Milliband blind geek…

      And the Lib Dem policy loony as you say…

      But there will still be an electricity shortfall soon


      • 159
        Engineer says:

        I suspect that we will end up begging the EU for an extension to the lives of the coal-fired stations we’re supposed to shut down on environmental grounds in (I think) 2015. (We should, of course, just tell the EU to piss off and mind it’s own business, but it won’t happen.) We could obviate that by building some replacement coal-fired stations now – construction of Kingsnorth should be resumed asap, for example, forgetting the rather risible carbon-capture stuff.

        Suspect such things will happen, but it’ll be interesting to see how the gummint wraps up or spins the announcements to try and wrong-foot the greenies.


        • 203
          albacore says:

          Parliament has neither a desire nor the capacity for promoting the interests of the British people.
          If you examine the Lib/Lab/Con core policies from a British perspective, they are not just treacherous but insane.
          Catch-22, however, dictates that rational discussion is permitted on only policies that are not demonstrably mad.
          I’ve yet to see anybody here defend Cameron’s ring-fenced and ever-growing foreign aid budget (currently of £7 billion and change) except to state, as though it were carved in holy stone, that it’s a must and we absolutely have to borrow it to give it away again.
          You certainly won’t find a clincher in the risible propaganda on the Tories’ own website.


  60. 142
    it was all within the rules says:


  61. 143
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    England about to win , Need 1 run to win , Both Strauss and Trott both p[ass fiftys


  62. 144
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    But Gordon Brown warned us all about this

    Government announces 30 per cent population cuts
    The Liberal-Conservative coalition government has announced swingeing cuts in the UK’s population, revealing that up to 30 per cent of UK citizens wil


  63. 148
    Yo says:

    Ha ha. Campbell’s been exposed as a fucking liar. First Mia Farrow, now whoever this woman is who’s testifying, have both dismantled Campbell’s bullshit story.


  64. 150
    giant gonad says:

    Surprised if anyone rings Diane Abbott.


  65. 153
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    If 42 is the answer, What is the question ?


    • 162
      Deep Thought says:

      You’re not going to like it….


    • 170

      1} what was the number of days that ex-prime minister Gordon Brown insisted was the necessary amount to detain a suspect without charge for.

      Or possibly what is the real average tax rate of a basic rate taxpayer.
      How many anti social offences are required to be amassed to even think about charging a hoodie.
      what speed would a middle class driver need to be doing in a 40 mile zone to be arrested and held for up to 42 days.{see 1. above}


    • 242
      Anonymous says:

      Is it the number of seconds a new mp will last before succumbing to the trough ?


  66. 154
    The Naomi Campbell and Di Ann Fat Bot Coalition says:

    You is all being well racialist about us.


  67. 157
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’m in deep shit.


  68. 168
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have wrote 253,657 words now. I know because I have counted them all. Now Mr Simon and Mr Shyster say I have to put them all in order so that they MAKE SENSE but I say they are clever publishers and it is there job like Mr Whelan and Mr Draper did before. I like my medication. It makes me feel happy.


  69. 173
    Yo says:

    Taylor’s defence lawyer, Griffiths, is a fucking disgrace. He’s harassing and shouting at the witness.


  70. 174
    Cassandrina says:

    No lessons learnt.
    Time to get out the pillories and put them in front of Westminster.


  71. 175
    Gordon Brown says:

    Kiss my bootyhole.


  72. 177
    Yo says:

    The judge is a fucking disgrace too.


  73. 179
    MI5 says:


    Re your piece on council housing yesterday..

    I found this on wiki re Bob Crow, Communist trade union leader of the RM

    “Personal life
    Despite his very high salary (£ 103,000) he lives in a publicly subsidised housing association property in Woodford, Greater London with partner Nicola Hoarau and they have a daughter (born August 1993).. ”

    Kick the bastard out of his subsidised housing

    It is overpaid scum like this who stop poor people from getting any housing at all…what hypocrisy…and scrounging…like the Udders…


  74. 181
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Cook should be dropped


  75. 182
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    She is not so different to that last Dianne, is she? Off her trolley, obsessed with ego and some people appear to instinctively like her. Has Mohammed al Fayed got another son? Yes?


    • 219
      All Lib Dems are toss pots says:

      Too true Schrodinger – both full of themselves and both highly over-rated [God rest their souls – both of them!].


  76. 183
  77. 184
    Diane Abbott says:

    Why is this not tagged Totty watch ?


  78. 185
    Geoff Hoon says:

    Please dont forget i am a utter hoon .


    • 207
      It's only taxpayers money says:

      Yes. He owns six, is it, properties paid for by you?
      If that’s the definition of a hoon, where do i apply to join?


  79. 186
    I hate New Labour says:

    Is there anything about this vile woman that is commendable?



  80. 192
    Jimmy says:

    “Guido was following up, what turned out to be, a dud tip-off”

    Why start now?


  81. 197
    Charlie Whelan says:

    I’m laughing all the way to the bank.


    • 205
      It's only taxpayers money says:

      So are 650 MP’s, their spads, corporate backers, lobbyists, quango appointees,brown envelope stuffers and all their families.


  82. 198
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Is the Times fucked yet?


  83. 200
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    its great to be the 200th comment


  84. 202
  85. 206
    Turtle says:

    Don’t knock Diane so much. She is pure entertainment. I love the way she looks for the answers written on the ceiling.

    I have nothing more to say.


  86. 212
    Yarnefromhorsham says:

    Plse plse plse surely a prat like her is not going to finish up in the Lords? What have we come too?


    • 222
      shite for brains says:

      Where have we got to more like Yarne. Can any-one remember when the ‘great’ in Great Britain meant something?


  87. 214
    Diane says:

    Does my bum look big in Stoke Newington?


  88. 221
    All Lib Dems are toss pots says:

    Are we alliwed to give Diabolical Diane all this stick? Will we be arrested for r*c*al something or other or just called white trash bigots.


  89. 230

    My campaign headquarters are kindly housed by one of the trade unions supporting me and the address is
    9 Arkwright Road
    NW3 6AB
    It is staffed by a team of volunteers.
    There is no telephone number on the website, but it says clearly how you can contact the campaign by email.
    If you email parliamentary staff about campaign matters you are directed to the campaign email.
    Guido does not say who told him to contact the parliamentary office, but it was not anybody connected with the campaign.


    • 244
      British mum says:

      I’d ‘go to the wall’ for my kids.
      They’re all educated at a very decent State school.


  90. 245
    Martin Day says:



  91. 249
    Martin Day says:

    Black mothers go to the wall for their kids! One thing is certain, they don’t go to work for em, nor do their lazy fucking fathers.
    A waste of oxygen all of em.


  92. 251
    Oh come on says:

    Gordon cos he’s a ‘jock’ now Diane cos she’s black,

    Must be great being a naziesque blogger


    • 252
      Martin Day says:

      It is. It must be awful being a sanctimonious holier than thou Labour voting hypocritical arsewipe like you.


  93. 254

    What is all the fuss about not really sure i understand this!


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