August 4th, 2010

CCHQ Spread the Love

Well here’s a unique solution to the growing rift between the Tory-right and the Cleggaroons. While it may be love at the top of the party, clearly this is not the case among the rank and file. Guido was just taking time to sort out his conference passes, (jury still out on whether to go to Labour’s,) when he was asked for his advice on how to make the Tory conference better:

Other than stop holding it in Birmingham and install more bars this year, he couldn’t really care, but the helpful suggestion of speed dating could not go without comment. Tory speed dating… Imagine the horror.

It was oft said that the old Young Conservatives was a marriage bureau, but have things really got so bad that the Party is considering officially organised bonding sessions? Membership is declining and unity might become an issue at the conference, but surely this is not the answer…


244 Comments

  1. 1

    con dems are finished

  2. 2
    boris johnsons says:

    I’m always up for a bit of speed dating.

  3. 5
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Fuck the love , Just sort the fuckin mess out

  4. 6
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a BBC legend .

    • 62
      Sailor says:

      And I have just broken wind.

    • 152
      The Riddler says:

      Hi Tim, back again eh?

      Have you ever tried sucking yourself off, its a narcissistic move with a confusing conclusion, it really makes you think!

  5. 7

    It isn’t a question about relationships but an oblique reference to fruit of the Mediterranean palm lightly dusted in Dexamphetamin.

    • 126
      Schrödinger's cat says:

      Is that Dextroamphetamine? Or am I being too right-handed?

      • 213
        Multiple Personality says:

        Get back to Copenhagen you ridiculous box-dwelling paradox.

        Eels are too smart for box dwelling

        • 242
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          All your best wishes are appreciated. I escaped from the box before they closed the door but please keep away from that cyanide bottle if you wish to remain in your single well-defined classical states.

  6. 8
    Anonymous says:

    They could call it the Brokeback line.

    • 227
      Anonymous says:

      I can easily imagine some Tories ticking “Conference Pride” without any inkling it has anything remotely to do with homosexuality…

  7. 9
    concrete pump says:

    You should sort out a rave for them, you used to do that didn’t you Fawkes?

    The Tory party could do with having a load of E’s thrown down their necks.

    Bunch of fucking uptight double breasted suit wearing mongs.

    • 18
      Engineer says:

      A rave? This is the Conservatives – the Blue Rinse Maffia. A bridge evening, whist dr*ve and sponsored knit would be nearer the mark. With tastefully iced cupcakes.

      Maybe they could install a row of sheds for the husbands to retreat to when the Battle of the Matriarchs becomes too hot.

      • 40
        Oh the sight of tripping Tories says:

        Come back Bott and Kemp,we need LSD in the water supply

      • 134
        Boris Speed Dating Tips says:

        It just means the husbands are too slow to catch me. More wrinky totty for Boris.

  8. 10
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Just sort the Fuckin country out ! Its not much to ask is it ?

    • 38
      Eat drink and be merry says:

      actually it’s nigh on an impossible task,too far gone I’m afraid old bean.

      • 214
        Lightweight Cast Iron says:

        Fat chance

        Way too far down the slope

        All Dave can do is slow the decline

    • 61
      Anonymous says:

      Actually, given the midden that Gormless left behind, yes it is!

  9. 11
    astateofdenmark says:

    I would have thought getting them plastered would be more efficient.

  10. 12
    Engineer says:

    Speed dating? Do they really need any encouragement?

    By the way, sex at sixty is great (so I’m told), but you have to get someone else to do the d r i v i n g.

  11. 13
    Liberal Democrats are a Liability says:

    Seriously! No loving, sort this mess out! So we can all move on! Enough of the gimmick.

  12. 14
    Nigel Filliburton- Smythe says:

    Oh hello

    I’m a bright chappie who has a rather large estate. This means that I can basically do whatever I want. I’ve done the college circuit and hold alsorts of degrees and things. Don’t even know what half of them are for. However, I am looking for a girlie who is up for a good time. Someone with shoulders and a sweet smile. Someone who will like me for who I am and not just my money. Could this be you……?

  13. 15
    Anonymous says:

    simon is a Hunt

  14. 16
    Mark M says:

    wots wrong with Birmingham u lazy fucker !

    • 34
      Drown London says:

      it should be stuck to London and maybe the combined weight would sink it enough for the Thames to reclaim it.

      • 236
        Not everyone lives in London, a fact ignored by the BBC and the dead tree press says:

        They should build a 100-foot-high wall inside the M25 and not let anyone in or out. Job done.

  15. 17
    Labourlist says:

    Only the Labour party will protect you from the Tories , We will not let you down .

    Only Labour will fight for fairness and for your Tax credits , Remember it was the Tory bankers and Mrs Thatcher that caused this mess.

    Only Labour will invest in the future The Tories will cut investment , There will be no new schools and class sizes will grow , Your childrens education is under threat from the Tories .

    The Tories are starting a class war with no mandate , They will bring back fox hunting and have no respect for animal rights .

    The Tories are soft on terror after voting against 90 days pre-chage detenion .The Tories will roll back the state and leave you on your own .

    • 21
      Fred Kite says:

      Crawl back onto your piss stained sofa and drown yourself in special brew, you marxist cockroach. All foxes are filthy flea ridden vermin and should be shot on sight…hunting by hound is too good for them.

    • 22
      David Miliband says:

      Please stop posting on here.
      I know you mean well, but you’re just making all us Labourites look like a bunch of berks.

      Keep it to Labourlist eh? No one reads the shite on there anyway.

      • 28
        Engineer says:

        Erm, I don’t mean any offence (well, not much, anyway), but there’s a reason why you Labourites look like a bunch of berks….

    • 84
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “Your childrens education is under threat from the Tories .”

      Of under threat from you, you twat. It’s children’s

      Hello? Edewkayted under Laybur, were we?

    • 105
      why would anyone contemplate voting Labour after what the actually did as opposed what they say says:

      small matter of Labour bankrupting the country and running the economy into the Ground as well as the Iraq debacle.

    • 141
      AC1 says:

      Like I’ve said in previous posts. The main symptom of the mental illness called Marxism is Freudian projection.

    • 222

      “The Tories will roll back the state and leave you on your own” .

      Yes please

    • 226
      Montgomery Cheddar says:

      Obviously a wind-up.

    • 240
      Anonymous says:

      This guy is a troll, isn’t he? Surely he can’t be serious?

  16. 19
    Liberal Democrats are a Liability says:

    Bullsh*t!

  17. 20
    Fred Kite says:

    Do we know if Dave’s new friend Nick will be coming along to address the masses? What a wonderful reception he will get from the assembled tory blue rinses from the shires, who wonder what the fuck they voted for, and how so many tory policies have been ditched in favour of silly, wet, loony lib dem ones. More windmills! NO nuclear power – so what if we have blackouts? Be kind to criminals! Let them out of jail! Turkey to join the EU – of couse we have room here for millions more economic migrants!

    • 26

      You are in favour of the subsidies to nuclear power then?

      The last time we gave them a free hand they told us that we had cheap energy forever.
      The real cost has never been disclosed. Not even attempted. But estimates range from 40 – 60% more than coal or gas.
      So…the Tory/Dem plan to allow the nuclear industry to build all the reactors they like, so long as they pay for them, is ok by me.
      Subsidy to them is as insane as subsidy for those silly windmills that make the hippies smile.

      • 42
        Fred Kite says:

        I don’t give a fuck how we get Nuke power stations but one thing is for certain if we don’t hurry up and build some we are going to face massive power shortages and blackouts in the near future. We simply do not have enough capacity to create, or import enough energy. Especially if people switch away from oil to electric cars…er….where is the electricity going to come from to charge them up? Not from windmills, even if you filled the english channel with them on a still day you’d get about enough power to light a Toc H lamp.

        NuLabour wasted a decade, burying their head in the sand and dithering over energy production for the future because they didn’t want to upset the greens. Now the lib dum coalition is doing the same, farting about with more plans for piffling windmills.

        • 53
          So This is What it's Like... When you know the planet is saved, but no one else does. says:

          Don’t you worry your tiny mind about all this nasty energy stuff dear. My husband has got this all in hand. You will be very surprised, and very soon!

        • 83
          Slapagreen says:

          did you notice the size of the green vote,why does anyone give a fuck what they think.

        • 132
          Little Brown Spenders says:

          These idiots don’t give a fuck about the cost of anything to the taxpayer.
          It’s Gordon Brown all over again.

          • Gordon Brown (Deary Leader) says:

            Look you Tory twats, it all started in America and I did the right thing by locking in astronomical debt for the next coming generations with an end to boom and bust with prudence as my guild we shall go forth!

      • 52
        Engineer says:

        Comparison of the cost of different means of generating electricity is difficult, and most attempts are by organisations with vested interests. The only unbiased one I know of is a report prepared for the Royal Academy of Engineering.

        http://www.raeng.org.uk/news/publications/list/reports/Cost_of_Generating_Electricity.pdf

        A chart showing the results is on page 9. Interestingly, it finds nuclear to be almost the cheapest option.

        • 60
          When you know the planet is saved, but no one else does. says:

          This is a dubious study.
          It does not include long term storage costs of waste nuclear material and processing of same, remediating accidents, incidents or unforeseen circumstances.
          They CLEARLY state they have not included all decommissioning costs, or the portion of the same, which the State subsidised. Nor does it include the impacts on property values and persons in the immediate vicinity of new plant builds. When coupled with the increasing scarcity of nuclear fuel, the cost of which per unit can be expected to multiply many fold. Furthermore, the security required intrinsic to any high value target is also not included… making a mockery of their figures!
          Could it be this study was prepared/funded by the nuclear industry.

          • Fred Kite says:

            Yes, let’s forget all futuristic, scary nuclear stuff. Let’s put up a few windmills instead….and wait for the lights to go out… the ultra wet greens will finally get their way…we’ll be back in the stoneage, eating cow shit and stinging nettle soup.

          • Engineer says:

            To “When you know…” at 7:33pm.

            Suggest you read said study – it wasn’t prepared or funded by the nuclear industry. As I said in my original post, unbiased studies on this subject are rare because so many of them are by organisations with vested interests. So nobody in the power generation industry would ever take a Greenpeace study seriously, and vice versa. This was an independent study commissioned by a disinterested (in the old sense of the word) organisation, to provide balanced information to all parties including government.

          • Engineer says:

            Full reply awaiting moderator’s attention – but this is the nearest to an unbiased study that I know. You clearly have a bias against the nuclear industry – fine, it’s your right to hold an opinion – but in the end, government and power generation industry have to supply enough electricity to the grid to satisfy demand, and windmills won’t do that.

          • Reality Dawn says:

            The maniacs running amok in the dark will make the greens see the benefits of nuke.

          • Anonymous says:

            Is there a possibility of obtaining factual data on nuclear generated power from the French?
            They have been using this energy source for some years & I don’t recall hearing of them rushing to build wind turbines.

          • Tony says:

            The impact on property values? You are insane! Do you have any idea as to the different energy densities of the different energy sources out there?! Nuclear is so much higher than anything else we have avalible that its in a completely different league. For a given energy yeild you need a far smaller area for nuclear power than anything else. You would need hundreds of square miles of wind turbines for the equivalent of a nuclear power station.

          • profligate spenders says:

            government re-insurance

            that’s a several billion right there

          • Martin Day's goldfish says:

            Mr. Anon 8:15

            I have no expletives to make my point. Have you ever been anywhere near france recently? Tonnes of the things. inland. on the flat. I even know a Nace (who’s a right bloody french lefty if you ask me) who commented how pointless they were. I remain optomistic but then I’ve forgotten why because I don’t remember much.

          • Anonymous says:

            Anonymous @ 8.15pm.

            ~ 80% of French energy needs are supplied by nuclear power stations. There are over 15 of the things dotted along Northern France (including Dunkirk), all within spitting distance of the South East with a fair wind and much closer to London than Dounreay. So the argumemts about not siting any in the UK to avoid us frying alive are specious – we’re already in the eye of the storm.

          • self feeding goldfish says:

            As for nuclear:
            “Is there a possibility of obtaining factual data on nuclear generated power from the French?”

            No. No way at all. subsidies (taxpayer) for research don’t get counted. As for decomissioning and storage of the waste, nobody has even started to think about counting that.

            I’m not particularly scared of nuclear, but it does make the rivers a bit warm.

          • Increasing scarcity of nuclear fuel?

            What do you think Northern Afghanistan is rich in?

            Modern reactor designs (especially pebble bed units) don’t produce a lot of waste, and what they do produce is easily contained.

            Your arguments are based on extrapolating the mistakes of the past into the future – I know that political mistakes tend to be repeated, but nuclear engineers aren’t generally as stupid as political types, and learn by experience.

            If we don’t start a huge nuclear programme now, we’re all screwed – that’s the fact that you cannot or will not face.

          • Anonymous says:

            If the Fench have all those nuclear power stations on their side of the English Channel why aren’t we moaning about them all the time like the Fenians whine about Sellafield? Sorry, just remembered that if they couldn’t blame the English for everything they’d turn back into Welsh swimmers and lose the reason for having an indepenent country.

      • 142
        AC1 says:

        Build Coal Powered stations.

        • 144
          Eco-Dave says:

          No.

          • Arthur Scargill says:

            I lad, and lets have them miners back to work for a month or too and then we’ll be out on strike, “down tools, fuck the job, trouble ‘ert mill!” 1984!

            Now then!

          • steves' mum says:

            To the imposter Scargill – if you want to post in vernacular “Wessy” speak (West Yorkshire) to the uninitiated – do learnto do it properly starting with……Aye thas nivva bin a pitman …….

        • 172

          That’s what I was thinking.
          Quick to build, safe,no subsidy, relatively cheap energy and pisses off the greens no end.

          What’s not to like?

  18. 23
    Peasant says:

    Speed dating, hmmm, will nookie Nokes be joining in? Perhaps @ToryBear could try his luck, I’m sure he needs a good rogering.

  19. 24
    Doomed I tells Ya says:

    membership for the Tories is declining as the party is in the last throws of it’s life

    • 33
      Sir William Waad says:

      At least we can still spell ‘throes”, though.

      • 47
        A gay chinaman says:

        Yes maybe
        But when did you last hold a real election?

      • 48
        Tories are fucked then says:

        well if that’s what consoles you Bill get on with it.I’m going for a ride on a norse

        • 91
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Goodbye norse, goodbye norse,
          ‘e was saying godbye to ‘is norse.
          And as ‘e was saying goodbye to ‘is norse
          @E was saying goodbye to ‘is norse.

      • 54
        Cheese Lover says:

        And know the difference between ”it’s” and its”…

        • 77
          Music to my ears says:

          the sound of the losers

        • 101
          Anonymous says:

          D’ya know what Cheesy? If I had received as good an education in my bog standard LieBour provided,teacher training college staffed, bog-standard comprehensive school as I am receiving from the comments on here, I could have won a pass certificate for English grammar.

  20. 25
    Going Fuckin mental says:

    Are they paying for this or are we?

  21. 27
    Fine Pair Of Lungs says:

    What at lot of Bollox!

  22. 29
    Sir William Waad says:

    Speed dating? Dating when you’re on speed is tends to be abrupt and regrettable.

    • 39
      Engineer says:

      Given the age demographic of the Conservative Party membership, Radio Carbon dating might be more appropriate.

      • 55
        Cheese Lover says:

        We do have the money, and we vote.

        • 237
          Old git (with money) says:

          True. I’ve voted in every election, from parish council up, since I was 18 except one (the referendum on EEC memberrship, when I was on holiday). I always vote. And I have money (not that retailers sell the things I want – they pander to yoof culture in spite of the fact that yoof are in the minority and have no money).
          Bollox to all of them. Thank god for internet shopping. And beer.

        • 239
          The Golem says:

          And commendable that is, too. The downside for me though, regarding voting, is that this only really matters if you choose to vote for someone other than liblabcon. After the bloodless coup last year none of that corrupt bunch work for us anymore.

    • 124
      Martin Day's goldfish says:

      hmmmmm.. fond memories.

  23. 30

    I met Mrs Quango speed dating.

    I asked her “What the hell are you doing here? You said you were visiting your mother!”

  24. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck it just call an election but ahh I here the lib dims say “but we wont be in power anymore”and you won’t be and not never again you ungrateful xxxxxxxx. Yr share of the popular vote post Clegg Debate was abismall.

    the problem with the libdims is that they support PR which usually results in coalition government. Yet under FPTP, they cant sustain coalition government, so what hope AV let alone PR,

    Hughes yr a Hoon!! xxxx off and get back on the opposition benches! txxx

  25. 36
    concrete pump says:

    English Democrats.

    http://www.voteenglish.org/

    You know it makes sense.

  26. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Why don’t the Tories deal with the problem of falling membership by putting Boris out to stud full time?

    At the rate he turns out bastards there’d be no end of potential inbred recruits.

    • 46
      Bozza says:

      I say old chap that’s a bit below the belt… I can’t help it if the one eyed vomiting trouser snake likes to slither off and do his own thing now and then…

  27. 43
    george Qsborne says:

    Coke dating is best
    f*** speed
    Spesh if its a N**** bitch dominatrix
    I love to squirt my wallpaper paste over a ripe pair after a really good cane session

  28. 45
    Ed Balls says:

    I understand that a lot of people here support my bid to Labour leader and then Prime Minister so , Today i can now pledge that if eleted Leader then Prime Minister , Not only Free Vuvuzelas and a picture of my naked wife , But i can anouce That i promise to give all voters a free copy of Gordon Browns book on How we saved the world .

    Love Ed xxxx

    • 72
      Rain and Shine says:

      Love your grammar, spelling and punctuation.

      It is exactly what we came to expect of the labour minister for erm… education.

  29. 49
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Ok , The burning question is , What should you bowl at the death , A yorker or slower ball ?

  30. 50
    Jenny Dawe Labour says:

    Troughers love like pigs in sh*t. Magic.

  31. 51
    A saddo says:

    It is with great pleasure that this is the 50th comment

  32. 56
    Westminster News says:

    Rumour

    Labour mp found with “Intresting” pictures on his pc

    • 66
      My Other Cars Not A Prius Either says:

      can it possibly be true somebody has found a computer with no porn on it?Never I tell you Never

      • 73
        Passion Fruitcake says:

        Plod just get Damp Ops to place porn on them then frame them!

        Do keep up!

    • 102
      Westminster Arms says:

      That’s the Lib Dem Guido was talking about earlier.

      Do keep up.

  33. 57
    Jenny Dawe Liberal Democrat, Edinburgh says:

    Troughing Hoon wants to add a bit of magic to your life. I’m all yours for a bag of chips and a pint of shandy. No time wasters please!

  34. 59
    Sheila Gilmore Labour Edinburgh says:

    I’m a troughing fud and looking for a bit action wink, wink, say no more.

  35. 64
    One of Sarah Beard's kids asks a question says:

    Mummy, why is there always a doctor with that scary smelly man?

    It’s to make sure he doesn’t do anything scary or smelly in front of us.

    • 82

      Breakfast time at the Browns must be like a copier ink sale convention in Tokyo: 5 minutes of handshaking and card exchanging, followed by a strong smell of yesterday’s sushi as everyone eventually sits down.

      • 108
        Ratsniffer says:

        Then the dour silence as prayers are said, followed by the ritual dunking of bread soldiers into decapitated eggs.

        • 123
          Schrödinger's cat says:

          What about slapping each other with wet fish? Have they given up all conventions?

  36. 74
    A Little Buddha says:

    Speed is an addiction to those who live in the fast lane and who appear to be going nowhere. Dating is pointless because you are to addicted to the speed. It’s best to chill & stay friends. Ommmmmm.

  37. 76
    Just lock and load and blow them all away says:

    Who cares? The Condems are as cynical and manipulative as Blair. Cameron was totally honest when he said he is heir to |Blair. He wasn’t listning and neither is Cameron and his idiot side kicks -

    Labour isn’t listening and the Condems are stone deaf

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300049/Coalitions-internet-consultation-sham-ministers-reject-suggestion.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz0vcm25B3M

    Coalition’s INTERNET ‘consultation’ sham as ministers reject every single suggestion

    By Jason Groves
    Last updated at 9:57 AM on 4th August 2010

    * Comments (131)
    * Add to My Stories

    It was meant to show that the new Government is in listening mode.

    But a major public consultation on the coalition Government’s new programme descended into farce yesterday – as it emerged ministers had rejected every single idea for change.

    Members of the public were invited in May to send in ideas for tackling the problems facing Britain.
    David Cameron and Nick Clegg’s coalition consultation descended into farce when 10,000 responses were dismissed

    David Cameron and Nick Clegg’s coalition consultation descended into farce when 10,000 responses were dismissed

    Ministers were bombarded with suggestions that clash with existing policy, including restoring the death penalty, ending all immigration and pulling out of the EU.

    In a series of Government responses slipped out at the end of last week, departments simply restated existing policy.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300049/Coalitions-internet-consultation-sham-ministers-reject-suggestion.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz0vfHt7M7V

  38. 86
    Ed Balls says:

    f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f–f-f-f

    Oh bugger it,I forgot what I was going to say

  39. 90
    Rain and Shine says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/dylan-jones/dylan-jones-sarah-brownrsquos-book-could-actually-shine-some-light-on-the-comings-and-goings-of-downing-street-2031541.html

    ‘Spread the love?’

    That apparently is what sarah is hoping to do with her book. Spread the love and make herself into a profitable Celebrity Brand a bit like Posh Beckham.

  40. 93
    One of Sarah Beard's kids asks a question says:

    Mummy, who’s that fat lady who disappears into your bedroom every weekend?

    That’s mummy’s special friend. She’s helping me with my book.

  41. 98
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m still waiting to be invited to make a speech at the Labour conference. I’m sure they’ll give me a standing ovation.

    • 162
      Slap in the Face says:

      Fuck off you twat, the words spent, past, former, old, has been, was and dickhead just don’t seem to figure in your limited vocabulary do they Gordon?

    • 231

      I’d give you an ovation upside your head, but it’s too good a guitar for that.

  42. 100
    Speed Bingo says:

    Dave’s plan to get rid of the unsightly blue-rinses and Bufton Tufton’s from his carefully stage-managed photoshoots.
    The excitement will kill them.

  43. 104
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Nick Clegg spreads the love all over my back most nights. He’s my sticky love machine.

  44. 107
    John Prescot says:

    A lads, which one of you want to go jogging with me ?. It will be like earthquakes & tsunamis everywhere everytime I bounce my joggers nipples. Aye lads, we can have a fish suppa and a good ale afterwards.

  45. 113
    Eric Pickles practicing his funny accent for Conference Comedy Night says:

  46. 114
    Just lock and load and blow them all away says:

    Coalition’s INTERNET ‘consultation’ sham as ministers reject every single suggestion

    By Jason Groves
    Last updated at 9:57 AM on 4th August 2010

    * Comments (131)
    * Add to My Stories

    It was meant to show that the new Government is in listening mode.

    But a major public consultation on the coalition Government’s new programme descended into farce yesterday – as it emerged ministers had rejected every single idea for change.

    Members of the public were invited in May to send in ideas for tackling the problems facing Britain.
    David Cameron and Nick Clegg’s coalition consultation descended into farce when 10,000 responses were dismissed

    David Cameron and Nick Clegg’s coalition consultation descended into farce when 10,000 responses were dismissed

    Ministers were bombarded with suggestions that clash with existing policy, including restoring the death penalty, ending all immigration and pulling out of the EU.

    In a series of Government responses slipped out at the end of last week, departments simply restated existing policy.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300049/Coalitions-internet-consultation-sham-ministers-reject-suggestion.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz0vfHt7M7V
    Reply

    • 127
      Ratsniffer says:

      In other words, fuck off voters, we do what we want and you can all shut the fuck up.

  47. 115
    David Cameron says:

    I shall be taking steps to invite Gordon & Sarah Brown to the Tory Party Conference

    • 140
      albacore says:

      It would be prudent to check that the Tories have actually issued you with an invitation, first.

  48. 120
    Jenny Dawe, Liberal Democrat, Edinburgh says:

    I’m a troughing hΘΘn and I like to take it up the @ss! I don’t like speed. I like it nice slow. Ooh big boy.

  49. 121
    Martin Day's goldfish says:

    Labour conference? Really?

    Anyway. tick the boxes that say “pub” and “club”.

  50. 133
    Boris Speed Dating Tips says:

    Check the husband isn’t coming home early and always ensure the back door isn’t locked. Cripes!

  51. 135

    I love speed dating. In fact speed has got me where I am today

  52. 138
    Grass roots Liberal Democrat says:

    The love affair is over. We shall not be putting out to those rapists, the Conservatives. Our traitorous leadership may have pimped our arses in order to suck cock under the Cabinet table, but we, have standards.
    We did not endure decades of marginalisation and ridicule, in defence of Liberal beliefs, just to back up the Conservative attack on all those that have not been fortunate, or clever enough, to have achieved the standard of living of the average MP.
    Expect blood.

  53. 145
    AnotherAnon. says:

    • 165
      Progressive Politics says:

      An in-denial gibbering leftwing twat avoiding reality via YouTube rants.

    • 193
      Blowhard spotter says:

      Not this fucking Blowhard again !!!

    • 219
      Anonymous says:

      My experience here in the UK, un North America, on the Continent, and in the Middle East convinces me that you are right.
      keep going

      you are especially correct about the EU superstate and the fact that invented historical guilt and multiculteralism are the tools of choice for distroying our freedom. Once you divide people along lines of imagined racial religious divisions then how much easier to rule with a rod of iron. Canada, once a vibrant democracy has been reduced to a near police state by aggressive multiculturalism and invented wars on terror and drugs aka wars on freedom. The process is just starting in the US and is far advanced her in the UK.

  54. 147
    David Cameron says:

    “We will burn Korans because we think it’s time for Christians, for churches, for politicians to stand up and say no; Islam and Sharia law is not welcome in the U.K.

  55. 148
    Small, hard & handsome says:

    Hoon.

  56. 156
    A Divi 'n EqualTitty offsa at a Town Hall near you @ 1030am over coffee ‘n biccys says:

    I think we can bring this so-called government down – what wiv the equaltitty bollocks ‘n that.

    I somehow knew we had a use somewhere.

    Then we can grow our department more.

  57. 160
    Sarah Beard says:

    I’m coming out!

  58. 166
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m the greatest prime minister Britain’s ever known. Thank you for giving me a mandate at the general election. I look forward to being your prime minister for another 5 years.

    • 168
      Nursery Nursery says:

      Wake up Gordon, your dreaming again dear!

    • 178

      Being paid to write my book is great. So great that I’ve started a new one.
      Its about a PM who is imprisoned in a mental home for a crime he didn’t commit. He didn’t lose all the gold..oh no. That was some one else.

      Anyway, the PM breaks out of the unit with his team of ‘ugly Face’ Prescott, Peter ‘Murdoch serialised my book’ Mandelson, and Mrs T.
      They ride around in a black van and have adventures and save the world.

  59. 170
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Nick said I should watch this and buy a giant tub of vaseline. What jolly japes!

    • 179
      Mandies anal Advice (I fucked Labour and now I want to fuck you) says:

      I think he’s an in-denial gay, and needs to accept his position as a bottom boy taking his gay masters cock deep and hard forever!

      Sorry but I never compromise on these things…

      • 183
        BrokeBack Cameron says:

        Sorry but Dave likes Nick on top

        • 189
          Animal says:

          The question here should be about you going out and finding such a video on YouTube. Must be something you have worried about for some time to come up with the search keywords…..

          • Brokeback Cameron says:

            George Osborne and Chris Huhne told me how to find it sweetie.
            And you shouldn’t worry so much if you are gay because you are the target audience and have favourited it.

        • 198
          The men from the boys says:

          I think you’ll find Dave’s on top, what a bitch, typical of you to take the other side!

  60. 181
    Doctor Mick says:

    Blue love is more natural than the pinkoe kind.

  61. 204
    Gordon Brown says:

    Someone came up to me in the street and called me a wanker. I rang Peter and he reassured me that wanker is a term of endearment. As I thought, the people still love me.

  62. 207
    Brokeback Cameron says:

    Nick was so upset at Simon Hughes that he farted on my balls tonight.

  63. 208

    Can I just say that I think that this approach to politics is despicable? Making fun of people with convictions (criminals notwithstanding) is very childish and will get us absolutely nowhere.

    Politics is no laughing matter. And nor am I.

  64. 209
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m coming out…

    …with a clutch of Nokias to throw at women.

  65. 210
    John Prescott says:

    I just had a vat of curry. Now I’m going to fart for three hours straight. Pauline’s used to my gas.

  66. 211
    John Prescott says:

    I just had 100 Big Macs. I’m still peckish.

  67. 212
    John Prescott says:

    I’ve just been to the bog. You’ll want to give it an hour before going in.

  68. 225

    The Tory conference in Birmingham how lovely I work in Birmingham will I be able to spot any of them in the wonderful pubs and clubs !!!!!

  69. 230

    [...] ..spreading the love! Amplify’d from order-order.com [...]

  70. 234
    Mr Angry says:

    That bloody advert at the top is incredibly annoying.
    May I point out that the character “>” is pronounced
    “is greater than” and that “MORE TH>N” is most
    certainly not equivalent to “MORE THAN”.

    Thank you. We return you to your advertised schedule.
    You may continue fapping.

  71. 244

    [...] again, maybe not.  He still supports mass immigration from various quarters, not all of which are conducive to British values.  Let’s be careful of whom we support. [...]


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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