Well here’s a unique solution to the growing rift between the Tory-right and the Cleggaroons. While it may be love at the top of the party, clearly this is not the case among the rank and file. Guido was just taking time to sort out his conference passes, (jury still out on whether to go to Labour’s,) when he was asked for his advice on how to make the Tory conference better:

Other than stop holding it in Birmingham and install more bars this year, he couldn’t really care, but the helpful suggestion of speed dating could not go without comment. Tory speed dating… Imagine the horror.

It was oft said that the old Young Conservatives was a marriage bureau, but have things really got so bad that the Party is considering officially organised bonding sessions? Membership is declining and unity might become an issue at the conference, but surely this is not the answer…

Simon Hughes must be getting dizzy up in the glorious heights of his plush sixth floor Portcullis House office. He has taken it upon himself to tell the Prime Minister that he does not speak for his own government:

“Council tenancy agreements have not been discussed by the coalition, and any idea or proposal floated so far is nothing more than that – an idea or a proposal and not a policy. So the ideas put forward by David Cameron this week in no way represent the policy of the coalition and certainly do not represent the policy of Liberal Democrats.”

First it was Clegg speaking in a personal capacity at PMQs, and now apparently the deputy leader of the junior coalition partner can tell the PM that his policy will not be adopted. In a pompous statement, Hughes has very much planted his tanks on the Downing Street lawn.

It takes some arrogance to say; “It is a Prime Ministerial idea. It has no more validity than that…” with a straight face. Paul Waugh suggests Hughes “exploded” last night upon hearing Cameron’s words about scrapping council houses for life. Guido has said many a time that Hughes and his left-wing dog-whistling is a weakspot and he’s a plotter. Could be a very interesting summer of explosions in the run up to Party conference season…

Simon Hughes told Paul Waugh…

“The ideas put forward by David Cameron this week in no way represent the policy of the coalition…”

Poor Andy Burnham, try as he will, nothing seems to be going right in his leadership campaign. Despite basing his campaign oop north, last night he was all set for a big phonebanking event at Labour HQ, which all candidates have fair use of.

The volunteers were gathered, the scripts prepared, the pizza man on speed dial. Shame no one had actually remembered to book the room. Much fun was had by all though – down the pub instead.

When the nation’s media and chattering classes woke up to the fact that the last Parliament was rotten to the core, that the Labour government were corrupt, lying, power-hungry incompetents and that Gordon Brown was a needle short of a moral compass, Guido’s mission was complete. He has to chuckle that the resurgent Republican Party have attempted a similar tactic in the US:

Faux outrage over “flirting with a 17th century British terrorist as part of a campaign” has spread through the American left. Guido is taking the GOP’s spin loathing, freedom lovin’ “Remember November” campaign as nothing short of a compliment.

Nothing like a bit of viral pyrotechnics to get some attention eh?