July 29th, 2010

Proof Gordon Is Wasting Money

Brown is, we are told, pounding out 10,000 words per day. If he were the “Fastest Typist In The World” (150 words per minute), then this would only take him 67 minutes of each day. Leaving him plenty of time to do those constituency duties which he claims he is still doing.

But Gordon isn’t the “Fastest Typist in the World”. Let’s assume he’s a ‘fast’ typist (40wpm), then his 10k marathons will be taking him four hours and ten minutes of each day. Assuming he is doing constituency work until, say six in the evening (as he is paid to do), then he’ll be working until around 11pm each night. Meaning he won’t see his kids. Which Brown professes not to do, so we must assume therefore that he’s letting his book time eat into his constituency work.

More than likely he’s officially a ‘slow’ typist (23wpm). In which case he’ll be spending seven hours and fifteen minutes of publicly paid time on his book. Even allowing him two or three hours for constituency work, that’s a pretty busy day. But those times are merely for copy taking…

What’s the average typing speed when someone is composing? Well, that’s just 19wpm. And how long would it take to compose 10,000 words if one is typing at 19wpm? On average, not taking account for poor eyesight and periodic fits of rage, it would take eight hours and forty-five minutes. Pretty much the same as a full working day, that the taxpayer, not Simon and Schuster is footing the bill for..

Maths via email from Stephen Bray

449 Comments

  1. 1
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Resign gordon , its for the best

    Like

    • 49
      Alexander says:

      Well it sounds good – it will be a book that we will all want to read – the royalties will be enormous – Gordon will donate them to the HMRC – and our natural debt will be greatly reduced – VAT will not need to increase and the public sector job cuts will not need to happen.

      Gordon is my hero – please type harder Gordon so the book can come out ASAP and our deficit/debt/worries can be reduced.

      …of course, Gordon is giving HMG the royalties – after all he typed it on our time!

      Like

      • 175
        windowlickers wanking furiously to yesterdays man says:

        toecurlingly thin shit even for the likes of you Fawkes

        Like

        • 269
          Anonymous says:

          Hear hear!

          Like

          • The quality of trolls has slipped since my day says:

            Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness you know….

            Like

          • The quality of trolls has slipped since my day says:

            Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness you know…

            Like

        • 293
          the worst criminal, the best defence says:

          Winston Churchill wrote rather a lot of books, and took long vacations, some funded by foreigners (Americans), while being paid as an MP, and we’re all better off because of it.

          This line of attack just isn’t fair. It’s not writing while an MP that’s the problem, it’s what he’s writing.

          Me, I’m just glad he’s not in London.

          Like

          • Monkey See, Monkey Hear, Monkeys type says:

            Nah – it’s all smoke ‘n mirrors – like all the other Brhoon ‘n Bliar Bollocks and Bullshit.

            In an ideal world, the bombastic, arrogant, paranoid, mendacious, two-faced, lying fucker would be briefing his defence team.

            Like

      • 205
        A regional salesman, Waterstones says:

        I don’t give a monkey’s how long it takes him to type up reams of shit, as long as every move he makes until the day he dies, results in constant media harasssment and questions.I want the fat jock c’unt in a mental ward to suffer for his arrogance and ineptitude.

        Reams of Shit wouldn’t be a bad title for Gordon’s book.

        Like

        • 270
          50 Calibre says:

          Who’s going to read this crap anyway?

          Like

          • 25 pounder + 10 ton Grand Slam for backup says:

            oh dear 50, – you’re not quite on the ball tonight –

            AlJaBeeba will read it, serialise it, Book at Bedtime it, develop interminable plays, develop docu-dramas, analyse it on Noos Noit, Start The Week it, … in fact ANYTHING to keep the bastard’s memory alive until His Second Coming.

            And while they’re waiting, they (those on top of the shitheap) can award themselves even more dosh amd perks.

            Then there’s all the Grouiniad pieces . . .

            Oh G*d . . time for a strong measure of Gin and a smoke in the cool clear air and forget the monstrous hoon for a while.

            Like

        • 289
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Who wants the c’unt in a mental ward, at our expense?

          He’s done enough harm. Hang him. And then gas all the Labour MPs who said, ooh, six months ago, that Gordon was the right man for the job. Bye bye Milibands et al.

          Like

    • 108
      Irranca Wanka says:

      If he s that short of money he could auction his glass eye.
      Churchills teeth have just gone for £15,000

      Like

    • 116
      Anonymous says:

      Is his book going to talk about the nearly 30,000 Indian IT workers have been brought in to the UK despite high levels of unemployment among UK IT workers ?

      They’re exempt from UK tax and National Insurance thanks to a nice HMRC dispensation. For any given level of take home pay, they’re half the cost of UK workers.

      They’re exempt from UK visa regulations thanks to a nice amendment to the law arranged by Margaret Moran and a number of other MPs who were employed as “consultants” by Indian lobbying groups. Employers can and do fire UK staff so that they can be replaced by an Indian.

      The agencies who employ the Indians are based in India in Special Economic Zones. That means that they pay no corporation tax either here or in India. Oh, and being offshore they pay no employer’s national insurance either. UK agencies haven’t a hope in hell of competing with them.

      It’s thought that the next wave will be lawyers – you can do a degree in English law in India. This will be followed by semi-skilled workers who’ll put the production lines at Nissan and what’s left of the steel industry out of a job.

      Like

    • 395
      Jib jab says:

      What a stupid posting.

      Typing speed is irrelevant. Nobody writes a book without pausing to think.

      How many books have you written, Guido?

      Gordon’s book will probably turn out to be tripe, but 10,000 considered words a day is still impressive going. Many professional writers only manage that in a week.

      Like

      • 406
        Nick2 says:

        But think of those 19th century authors who ground out thousands of words a day for the weekly magazines. Dickens may be well regarded, but I had the misfortune to read a lot of less compelling output from the period.

        Gordon’s effort will probably be better than that of the scribes who were paid by the word, not least as he probably feels passionately about his subject. But even if his 10,000 words are considered they’ll probably still be crap to read.

        Bet that the Labourgraph serialises it…

        Like

    • 436
      Big issues please says:

      Such trivialities. Get a life and write about something worthwhile.
      NHS privatisation, decaying schools, changes to benefit system, boundary changes,
      students being ripped of by the cost of university education and poor contact time’
      and so much more.

      Like

  2. 2
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Fucking wanker – I thought we were shot of this useless arsehole.

    Like

  3. 3
    QWERTY says:

    We should save the jock wanker the job. Let’s all donate one line each to his memoirs so all mongy has to do it cut and paste it into his WP.

    Here’s mine

    “I really fucked up the economy, I didn’t have a fucking clue, I fucking hate the English (you bastards, I hated Bliar and I love Ed Balls”

    Like

    • 14
      The Ape Man Commeth says:

      Here’s Mine:

      I do poo. I lie. I smeer, well I get other people to smeer for me. I’m a coward. I bullied and thretend my way into jobs I couldn’t do and I lie a lot.

      Like

      • 71
        Evie Lennon says:

        And here’s mine….

        I keep smiling as it’s the right thing to do; I keep telling everyone that I’ve never told a lie; I believe I have a great sense of humour; I am full of humility; I always listen to other peoples’ points of view and am a thoroughly nice guy; I am definity not mentally unhinged, it’s everyone else that’s fooking bonkers. Trust me, I am a hard working Scot.

        Like

    • 25
      McMong says:

      “Prudence! My only love… I betrayed you as I betrayed nation and party: without hesitation.”

      Like

      • 54
        QWERTY says:

        Well so far it’s a better read than the shit turned out by Alistair Campbell.

        Like

        • 90
          Why do people laugh at Ali C says:

          Except for the stuff he wrote for Forum Magazine.
          That was HOT.
          Well, he thought so.

          Like

    • 85
      Grimelord says:

      Here’s mine

      “When there was a difficult decision, I retreated to the bunker, especially for PMQs”

      Like

    • 125
      Anonymous says:

      QUERTY you might not have noticed by Blair is Scottish and Balls is English which makes a nonsense of your post . Such bigoted hate in you man, just cos your wife left you, get over it.

      Like

      • 151
        QWERTY says:

        Hey Anon shouldn’t you be buggering someone in the toilets at the BBC?

        Like

        • 316
          Sigmund Freud says:

          Where did that come from? Someone’s got buggering on the brain.

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            When your wife leaves you for another woman and your getting shafted by the Child Support Agency its understandable you might become a little englander beer bellied fuckwit.More to be pitied than scorned.

            Like

          • QWERTY says:

            Anon: go fucking jump off a bridge you twat.

            Like

  4. 5
    Simon says:

    The man is a complete and utter disgrace

    Like

  5. 6
    Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

    I was always best as a Number Two

    Like

  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    He’s an elected member of parliament, so like it or not he can spend his time doing whatever he wants. And only the people of Kirkaldy can stop him.

    Like

  7. 8
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend .

    Like

  8. 9
    Tony Blair - Millionaire says:

    Well guys……Gordon claimed that he had saved the world but it was I who really did…..for it…..

    Like

  9. 10
    Fenrir says:

    As he is a known liar i doubt that he is writing 10,000 words a day, more like 10 probably but still on taxpayers time.

    Like

    • 30
      purpleline says:

      I wonder if the blind Hunt is working in braille & typing in Times New Roman 36 so he can read it back and correct with his famous black magic marker.

      Like

      • 128
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        That marker pen makes a right mess of the screen

        Like

        • 231
          Gordon Broon says:

          I can’t read your comment. All the Tippex that I use to correct my spelling mistakes on screnn have left very little room to view.

          Like

    • 51
      bergen says:

      Why isn’t he simply dictating it and giving a job of typing the garbage to a local confidential audiotypist like any sane man in his position would do?

      Paranoid twat.

      Like

    • 100
      Backwoodsman says:

      Right, just like he used to date a sexy Italian Aristo when he was at Uni !

      Like

    • 129
      Gunrnng Goon says:

      I do not type at all…

      Others (when they are here) take my diktation…

      Like

  10. 12
    Ms Duffy says:

    I really liked that Tony Blair

    Like

  11. 15
    Susanne says:

    I heard Cameron on Commie BBC WATO this afternoon actually say:

    “Its the right thing to do”.

    Hoons the lot of them – red / blue / green / yellow – political parasites feeding of the rest of us.

    Like

  12. 16
    Obamastan says:

    Hey….isn’t that the guy who used to be PM for Britland?

    Jeez……looks like he’s been viewing those crap DVDs I gave him.

    Like

  13. 18
    purpleline says:

    If it would not make the Hunt rich I would start a campaign to buy the book and have a giant bomb fire night burning his book.

    Like

  14. 19
    christy says:

    I saved the world is going to be a bit repetitive at 10000 words per day for the length of the book.

    Like

    • 35
      VEE6 says:

      The voices told him to say it.

      Like

    • 44
      In the presence of my personal nurses and under medication says:

      Chapter 1

      It started in America. I say again, it started in America. I say yet again, it started in America. I say yet again, it really started in America. I reiterate and say yet again, it really started in America. I reiterate and say yet again, it really started in American America. I repeatedly reiterate and say yet again, it really started in American America.

      Chapter 2

      It was the right thing to do. I say again, it was the right thing to do. I say yet again, it was the right thing to do. I say yet again, it really was the right thing to do. I reiterate and say again say yet again, it really was the right thing to do. I reiterate and say again say yet again, it really was the right thing to do. Is this enough?

      Chapter 3

      THE END

      Like

      • 63
        Wee Gordy says:

        You forgot Chapter 4

        I was just getting on with the job…I was just getting on with the job…I was just getting on with the job….

        and then the People Woke Up – Curse them!

        Like

  15. 20
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    How many people will buy the book ?

    Like

  16. 21
    ItsAlreadyTooLate says:

    Dodgy Dave the “Worlds Greatest Diplomat” spouting off without engaging his brain, and then having to backtrack, and you’ve got yesterdays man and his typing speeds as your main topic.

    If his Constituents don’t want him they’ll vote him out at the next elections.

    Like

    • 53
      Al says:

      Get a grip.

      Cameron was right, if blunt, on Turkey and the EU plus Gaza, right, if very blunt, on Pakistan.

      He needs to slow the pace down but the he’s to the point and certainly not dull.

      Like

      • 96
        The Heirs to the KGB says:

        Al Mong

        Cameron was right only from your point of view. Don’t assume anyone else agrees with you.

        Like

      • 99
        cant hunter says:

        Just what are we going to do with Pakistan, and the Pakistanis. It’s not a problem thats going to go away, or even diminish. I have to say that I did once know a couple of Pakistani christians at my local Catholic church, and they were very likeable, intelligent , thoughtful people. I’m afraid its the *sl*m*c religion that corrupts people.

        Like

        • 174
          Fatwa-nker says:

          Death to you infidel scum

          Like

          • Read Churchill's famous description of Isla* says:

            You’ve just reached that conclusion? It has always been ever thus since the inception of that cursed, nihilist r*ligio*.

            Like

      • 111
        Average Whitey says:

        Totally agree Sir.

        Like

  17. 23
    Lateral Demigod says:

    Gordon is wasting space by existing!

    Like

  18. 24
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Someone put it on wikileaks before it comes out

    Like

    • 118
      HandsomeDavid says:

      Wikileaks sent the book back. They do not wish to publish delusional bullyshit.

      Like

      • 392
        equity abhors a Maxim says:

        ‘Bullyshit’ is a wonderful coining. It deserves admission to the next edition of the OED.

        Like

  19. 27

    Guido!!! – He’s employing Kirsty McNeill as you well know, because you alerted us to it here

    He’s dictating Churchill style. Really Guido, you are either with us or behind us!

    Like

  20. 32
    VEE6 says:

    Wasting taxpayers money? No change there then.

    Like

  21. 34
    streamfisher says:

    Gordon is fascinated by numbers the bigger the better, today 10,000, tomorrow 15,000, quantity not quality, the goal is to beat his previous record of 156 billion so don’t expect an appearance at HOC anytime soon.

    Like

    • 105
      Grimelord says:

      I’m upset that he didn’t start at 5000 words, then 6500, that way he could have updated everyone to the percetage increases and other tractor stats as to his progress.

      Like

  22. 36
    fruitcake says:

    He could be dictating the 10K words, how long does that take?
    Then there’s the time the ghost writer/notetaker has to spend deciphering/translating/consuming industrial quantities of caffeine to get the pearls of wisdom* into print.

    *not the wisdom mentioned at armagordon

    Like

  23. 37

    “Meaning he won’t see THE kids” I think you meant.

    A great relief to them, him and the Cantabeard no doubt.

    Like

  24. 40
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    I kinda miss the hoon

    Like

    • 52
      Engineer says:

      In the same way that you’d miss an abcess on your wedding tackle….

      Like

      • 56
        Gone Fuckin mental says:

        when you put it like that

        Like

        • 84
          Rat Arsed says:

          I know what you mean though g.f.m. I kinda miss Gorgon McBustard too. I don’t have to take as many ‘flirters’ [headache tablets] now, after one of his convoluted mangled speeches and I don’t have to buy any incontinent pads now as I don’t piss myself with laughter anymore. He certainly was brilliant entertainment value.

          Like

  25. 42
    Mr and Mrs 'Satisfied' from essex says:

    suspect the contents will reveal the man is bereft of the real world and the realities of his terrible job as chancellor and vacuous performance as PM… complete and utter c’unt.

    Like

    • 119
      Average Whitey says:

      If he is basing it out at this rate, how much thought and planning has gone into it? In fact, how much thought and planning has gone into anything he has done?

      Like

    • 185
      Elvis says:

      Well, if he thinks that this century should be the African century- he can f**k off there and not come back, taking Mandy with him. If ever the best part of an individual dribbled down his mothers legs- Gordon is it.

      Like

  26. 46
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Will it be in the fiction section ?

    Like

  27. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    You’ll be able to read “I Was Write” by Gordon Brown on selected packs of instant porage. Yes, it’s going to be cerealised.

    Like

  28. 50
    Humbug Hater says:

    This pathetic campaign of yours serves no political purpose and is simply sadistic. Everyone knows, including you, that Gordon Brown is a workhorse, popular in his constituency and conspicuously uninterested in personal wealth. If you insist on continuing with your persecution, at least find some genuine reasons.

    Like

    • 57
      Al says:

      Thanks Gordon, your views will be taken onto consideration, not.

      Like

    • 62
      Gone Fuckin mental says:

      Fucking up the country seems good enough for me

      Like

    • 65
      Engineer says:

      The guy is paid £65,000 a year plus expenses by the taxpayers (us) to represent his constituents in parliament and to hold the government of the day to account by, among other things, voting on the bills they present to the House. How many times has Broon voted since the election? How long have his attendances been? What are we getting for our money?

      Like

      • 193
        Humbug Hater says:

        If you’re genuinely concerned, I suggest you ask the citizens of Kiikaldy & Cowdenbeath.

        Like

        • 262
          Engineer says:

          Listen Humbug Hater – the citizens of K&C can speak for thenselves. I’m speaking for me.

          Brown was the worst prime minister in living memory, and before that, the worst chancellor. He ruined a perfectly good economy by persuing a vendetta against Bliar. His ambition and ego took preference over the economic well-being of MY country. That makes it MY business. The bastard ruined the country, then expects the taxpayer to fund his writing of his excuses. I find that arrogant, obscene and rather pathetic.

          If you were paid to do a job of work, would your employer be happy for you to disappear and write a book whilst you were still on full pay? The taxpayer employs Brown. The taxpayer has a right to express an opinion.

          Like

        • 265
          Tony Bliar says:

          No thanks, I’d rather they just kept him there.

          Like

          • Hang the insane snot gourmet for treason says:

            The stupid mong jocks, could not care less. He is one of them, that’s all that matters in their eyes. However the wider public have the right to comment and critisize anything they damn well please. Even if it upsets thought fascists like you, in fact, particularly if it upsets PC drones like you.

            Like

    • 72
      Penfold says:

      He might have no interest in the loot, being a good socialist and calvinist he expects others to provide.
      But, Sarah, the hag bag, has expectations, she didn’t take him on for exile to bloody Lothian, after the joys of No;10.

      Like

      • 139
        Anonymous says:

        Your knowledge of Calvinism is woeful. It was Calvinism which created the Protestant work ethic which brought Europe into the industrial and scientific age creating great wealth in the process. It led directly to free enterprise and capitalism. Have you never read Max Weber ???

        Like

    • 88
      Rat Arsed says:

      Hang on a minute ‘Humbug’, you say McShite isn’t interested in personal wealth? OK then, where’s he stashed his slush fund that he swore he hadn’t got, AND where did he get that money?

      Like

      • 191
        Humbug Hater says:

        What’s your evidence for that accusation?

        Like

        • 278
          The quality of trolls has slipped since my day says:

          The national and international presses covered it dopey.

          50K and a tatty notebook ring any bells.

          Like

          • Hang the insane snot gourmet for treason says:

            Correction, 50k P.A. The tip of the iceberg?
            For a man unconcerned about money, why does he feel it is right and proper that we pay his Sky Sport contributions?

            Like

    • 112
      Marquis de Sade says:

      You have to be cruel to be kind…

      Like

    • 130

      “Everyone knows, including you, that Gordon Brown is a workhorse”.

      Is that comment for real?

      Like

    • 142
      The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

      Do you not remember what he has done to this country Humbug Hater? I think that the man bears a great deal of responsibility for the present state of the nation’s finances. He made some very bad decisions in his time including the doubling of tax on the lowest paid and effectively giving away half of our gold reserves.

      If the director of a FTSE listed company had made some of Gordon’s fiscal blunders in the private sector it would have resluted in a P45, a bin liner for personal effects and a taxi waiting outside reception. Not to mention a quick call to the fraud squad.

      Like

      • 189
        Humbug Hater says:

        Of course there were some bad decisions, and some had serious consequences. When you’re taking thousands, it’s what happens. Exactly the same applies to company directors. But, whatever the rights and wrongs of his actions in office, whatever the flaws in his personality, there is no excuse for this incessant, cruel, baseless persecution campaign. It’s not funny, but it is sick.

        Like

        • 207
          concrete pump says:

          I beg to differ, i think it’s fucking well funny.

          Like

        • 210
          equity abhors a Maxim says:

          Cruel and baseless? I have trouble believing that you are writing in earnest. The failure rate on the ‘thousands’ of decisions which he took is nearer that of British Leyland cars in the 1970s than Nissan’s today.

          In the event that you are serious, I would advise you to consider BTF’s post above your own – and to reflect that the consequences of his decisions will take a decade or longer to flush through the system.

          Your Stakhanovite labours in his defence should entitle you to a free signed copy of his eventual book, but given his form in matters of politeness and parsimony, you are likely to be unrewarded.

          Like

          • Hang the insane snot gourmet for treason says:

            I fear that all he can realistically expect from his master, is a supermarket carrier bag of empty beer cans, weighed down with a couple of bricks.

            Like

    • 158
      barefootcontessa says:

      Someone feels sorry for him?!

      Like

  29. 55
    Philip McArthur says:

    You have forgotten to add at least 2 hrs a day for picking up and reassembling the pieces of the computer after it has been smashed against the wall.

    Like

    • 87
      fruitcake says:

      what computer? this’ll be a wax crayon on wallpaper job…at least it’ll read like it.

      Like

  30. 58
    Gonk says:

    Piccy of the orrible goon fiddling behind
    the Speakers back sent shivers down my spine.
    Glad to pay him to stay away. He can take 20 years for all
    I care.

    Like

  31. 61
    pigs in space says:

    Like

  32. 64
    Professor Dunce Ewenivesity of Edinburgh says:

    You cannot hurry genius. Brown is a one finger typist.

    Like

  33. 66

    Standing behind the green door, the Beard tried to decipher the sounds emanating from within:

    tap…..tap……………..tap…fapfapfapfapfapfapfapBIGOTS……..tap…tap…tap…

    And so the long afternoon wore on.

    Like

    • 76
      The Cantabeard says:

      Tuscan, it’s like you have been there in dull Scotland. The clicking of the old clock, the outbursts of rage, the endless painful tedium….

      How I wish I was in Canterbury, munching on a nice….

      Like

      • 341
        BrokeBack Cameron says:

        Standing behind the Cabinet room door, the Beard tried to decipher the sounds emanating from within:

        tap…..tap……………..tap…fapfapfapfapfapfapfapNick!!!……..tap…tap…tap…

        And so the long afternoon wore on.

        Like

        • 425
          Hang the insane snot gourmet for treason says:

          Unoriginality becomes you, in fact it sums up you and your sheeplike kind, rather well.

          Like

  34. 67
    Bernard Cribbens says:

    where’s this 10,000 words a day figure come from? I’ve only seen it bandied about (repeatedly) on this blog.

    Also, GB might dictate. Sorry to piss on yer chips.

    Like

    • 136
      Anonymous says:

      If he dictates he must be employing a secretary. If thats the case Who is paying for their services ? I hope this is not the case because paying someone out of the public purse to provide a private service like writing a book would almost certainly constitute fraud.
      There is no evidence of this however and as such remains only speculation.

      Like

  35. 69
    Penfold says:

    Who says he’s bashing a typewriter?

    The one eyed GIT would be better orff with dictation, faster and more efficient.

    As for his non-attendance, well that’s for his constituents to deal with and carp about.
    UNLESS, that is,
    There are Parliamentary rules/sanctions governing the non-attendance of a paid MP?
    IF there are, then how come they worn’t used on the sinn fein bastards?

    Like

  36. 70
    Don Amos King of Caravans says:

    If Brown tried to buy one of my caravans I would tell him to fuck off

    Like

  37. 73
    Fifer says:

    A disaster has occured in Kirkcaldy. Where is the MP? Is Gordon available for emergencies? Superman?

    Like

  38. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Tpical Brown, a big number like 10000 without giving a flying fuck if any of them are any good.

    Like

  39. 77
    John from Hull says:

    He’s breathing ergo he’s wasting money.

    Like

  40. 78
    Shantelle says:

    Meh… same ol BS… Here’s some new topics for you, Nick Clegg has a short memory masquerading as a clear conscience, Why ConDem is destined to fail…

    The list goes on….

    Like

    • 219
      Unsworth says:

      Ooh, is that you Princess Shantelle Latifa Traynisha Tangellique Karnesha Jyanette?

      How’s the ointment working?

      Like

  41. 79
    BluRay says:

    Most of the country wish he was decomposing.

    Like

  42. 80
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    “Mind the windows Tino “

    Like

  43. 82
    A turgid turd of a tome says:

    It’ll be about as riveting as his PhD thesis on the history of the Scottish Labour party, or whatever the pointless shit was on.

    Of course the boot lickers in the party, the sort of people who invite Brown to weddings, will be sure to be seen with a copy under their arm.

    Like

  44. 83
    Nazi Mumsnet says:

    Can’t wait to queue for the signing. Herr Brown will no doubt give us discount or some tax credit. Get it up ye taxpayers.

    Like

    • 131
      Captain Black says:

      Let’s hope the books are printed in A4, otherwise he won’t have room for his signature.

      Like

  45. 89
    Julian The Wonderhorse says:

    And what is the typing speed of someone who is blind in one eye and partially sighted in the other?

    And what expenses will he be claiming now, considering he owns only one house in Scotland? Will he be sharing a cleaner with his brother again and getting a bill from him?

    Like

  46. 93
    streamfisher says:

    *** breaking news 2015 ***
    Scottish hermit invents tool for propping up Eiffel Tower.

    Like

  47. 94
    SH17 says:

    I WOILD RATHER LICK A BAR OF SOAP THAT HAS BEEN UP ANOTHER PERSONS BUMB WHILST RIDING A PONY THAN READ GORDON BROWNS BOOK

    Like

  48. 95
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve now reached Chapter 5631, entitled “Turning Goals Into Results Part VIII Section G: Using Post-Macro Theory For Long-Term Growth – September 2006.”

    Like

  49. 101
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s not true that Alison McGovern’s been receiving treatment for Nokia related injuries.

    Like

  50. 103
    One flew over the cuckoos nest says:

    That’s 1, that’s 2, ten thousand, that’s 10,000, that’s 10,000 and two today.

    Like

    • 115
      The Ape Man Commeth says:

      In truth the mock chancilor/ bogus PM hasn’t written a single word yet as he’s still dithering over the title.

      Like

      • 143
        streamfisher says:

        Yes, difficult one, I was the Saviour of the World, The Shining Moral Compass, From Presbytery to Perdition, Half a Ten-pence, Mr Casino Chips or… I Fucked up Big Time and now you are all Gonna Pay!

        Like

  51. 107
    Ben Dover says:

    The UK really is doomed not only are all of Eastern Europe here they can marry anyone from anywhere in the world and they can arrive to claim their council house and benifits.
    You could not make this up.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1298691/Vicar-guilty-conducting-360-sham-marriages-illegal-immigrants.html

    How many is Dave welcoming from Turkey 72 million.

    Like

    • 149
      Anonymous says:

      Probably the only way for the C of E to get bums of pews these days is to conduct fake weddings of immigrants (for a fee of course).

      Just another useless, corrupt institution.

      Like

  52. 109
    Hgh Janus says:

    “Gordon is wasting money”.

    Really? Next we’ll be told that bears open their bowels in wooded areas.

    Like

  53. 113
    Ed Balls says:

    BBC news, “UK PM David Cameron warns Pakistan not to have any relationships with groups that promote the export of terror”. So there will be no more British Airways flights from Pakistan then??

    Like

  54. 120
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    He’s a liar. Just as he was lying when he said (or had it put about) that he took a case full of economics textbooks with him to Cape Cod on holiday. Just so there is no misunderstanding: THE BASTARD IS A CONGENITAL LIAR.

    Like

  55. 123
    The IMF is not coming says:

    I think paying him lots of money for NOT being Chancellor or PM is a price worth paying.

    Like

    • 284
      taxpayer says:

      Quite. If only we had known this a few years back; that a paltry £65K pa was enough to keep him in Fife well away from Westminster and the nation’s gold reserves.

      Like

  56. 137
    Sir William Waad says:

    Here is something more interesting than The Book of Gordon:

    Like

  57. 140
    Gitting Bastard Hypocrite says:

    Didn’t the great Git Bastard bang on about how MPs shouldn’t have second jobs in response to the expenses scandal?

    Like

  58. 141
    I don't have the time says:

    I presume your assertion that he is doing 10K words per day is 100% accurate (or at least pretty damn likely to be accurate)? Otherwise it makes you writting this piece, and me reading it, a complete waste of time!

    Like

  59. 157
    Where's Gordon says:

    Gordon at work on his book and gets upset when one of his carers take a joke too far.

    Like

  60. 161
    Where's Gordon says:

    Like

  61. 162
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    We got rid of one set of The “Gay twins” in Mcfudgepacker and Mandleson
    only to see them replaced by another pair of cowboys who love it up the wrongun taking over our manor

    Like

  62. 164
    Herr Oberscrotenfuhrer Balls says:

    In the past I would have purchased this book, as soon as it was published. I am of course ‘my own man’ now and shall not be partaking of a particularly sick piece of propaganda.

    Like

  63. 165
    Albie Here says:

    The piece of shitehawk is still writing at our expense,I suppose it will turn out like the secondhand book I bought today, Fly Fishing by J.R.Hartley.

    Like

  64. 166
    Ed P says:

    Polishing a turd takes time

    Like

  65. 167
    I Hate New Labour says:

    How the F*** is he allowed to get away with this?

    In any other profession he’d be warned then sacked.

    He’s just proving to us all that MPs are lazy, malingering freeloaders. As bad as the benefit scroungers Labour rely on for their vote.

    I detest the useless fat scottish cyclops. I genuinely hope he dies a slow, painful death as punishment for all the damage he’s done and continues to do.

    Like

  66. 170
    Dack Blog says:

    I hope he’s got a ghost writer because his prose is fucking abysmal.

    Like

  67. 172
    The gay twins says:

    Me an my bruvva is opening a new nightclub called the cockortwo
    Jack the twat straw is banned and if he calls either of us a foot poof again he’s getting Kellyed
    Now fack off you slags

    Like

  68. 173
    The book title says:

    GORDON BROWN: MY STRUGGLE

    Like

  69. 177
    yawn says:

    zzzzz

    Like

  70. 186
    The Lobbyist says:

    Just been for a browse in Waterstones. The place is full of vast piles of Lord Mandy’s epic. They will have to be remaindered by the end of August to make room for McMong’s guide to saving the world.

    Where is J K Rowling when you need her?

    Like

    • 217
      Ratsniffer says:

      Rowling? I’d never advocate book burning but I would cheerfuly cremate hers after the way she donated funds to Nulabour, a party that has taken this country to the verge of bankruptcy, failed the poor, stopped social mobility in it’s trackes and condemned a generation to welfare dependency.

      Ms Rowling, of course, being super wealthy is largely immune to the effects labour’s profligacy with public money as she can choose to live in splendor in any part of the world that she chooses.

      Like

  71. 188
    David Cameron says:

    This is a genuine letter fron one of my constituents

    Dear David Cameron

    I am sick and tired of having all these dam
    foreigners filling up this country and stealing
    our jobs

    Yours sincerly
    Ranjid

    Like

    • 195
      Sir Keith Joseph's Preserved pulsing head says:

      Strangely enough and this IS true….
      Here in south London our polish neighbours ( actually really great people best neighbours we have ever had) told us

      “we think we move soon- back to where we were in wokingham or somewhere WHICH IS MORE PROPERLY ENGLISH we no like the foreigners here in London”

      At which she glared across our garden to the other side where a truly awful mob of people from the Ivory Coast live and seem determined to turn our street into an African shanty…..

      Like

      • 213
        Whining, hand-wringing leftie outreach worker says:

        Yeah but it’s inclusive, and vibrant, innit?

        Like

      • 226
        Unsworth says:

        Tried the old burning cross in their front lawn? Did wonders for our neighbourhood. Direct action, that’s what you need.

        Like

        • 240
          Sir Keith Joseph's Preserved pulsing head says:

          Can’t see their front lawn!!!!!
          ( the cote d’ivoire mob that is)
          as it is covered in broken toys,12 bags of rubbish ( lady J had to throw an old child’s potty -which had fallen onto our front path- into their bin for them) and has weeds 6 feet tall…..

          Like

          • Second home far removed from the madding crowd says:

            When you pump human sewage direct from the toilets of the world, it’s wise to wear a gas mask.
            Or live where MP’s live.

            Like

          • Average Whitey says:

            Sir, may I suggest a burning plimsoll or welly, it gives off enough heat to dry its own fuel. Job done. Make sure Lady J has instructed the drying to be brought in.

            Like

  72. 197
    P E Dantry says:

    Spurious ‘r’ in the title of this posting, Fawkes.

    Like

  73. 202
    thick as thieves says:

    If you like my blog, lend me your vote in the Total Politics Blog Awards..Just 2 days left to nominate .http://bit.ly/8YhBbh

    Like

  74. 204
    anonymous says:

    I wrote to my MP asking specifically about the whereabouts of Gordon Brown. I questioned the validity of him receiving a salary whist doing nothing/writing a book etc. My question was ignored and I have to report I got no reply. All in it together. As usual, is there nothing we can do about this fraud?

    Like

  75. 206
    Ed Balls says:

    One is sailing, one is sailing, home again, ‘cross the sea. One is sailing stormy waters to be near you to be free

    Like

  76. 214
    Gordon Brown says:

    Will you buy my book?

    Like

  77. 215
    bofl says:

    brown writing? what a sad joke!

    his books are on ebay for 1p!!!!!!

    1/ he is half blind
    2/ he cannot spell

    3/ he should be on trial for treason

    4/i hope he gets cancer of the rectum!

    Like

    • 223
      Bum Specialist says:

      215, with regard to 4/, cancer of the rectum is, sadly, quite treatable now if caught early.

      Like

    • 229
      Bob Enweave says:

      Let him live for another 50 years, spent dodging the jeers and catcalls of the public, who will pour scorn and abuse down on his every utterance. Let him have to ride in cars with blacked out windows, to his safe zones of TV interviews and heavily vetted meetings. Let him squirm in the knowledge that his time in office will be seen as a disaster comparable with the Black Death, in it’s measurement of damage to the nation. Let him live with his concience, that little voice in his head telling him what a loathed and detested c’unt he is, gnawing away at his every moment both awake and sleeping.
      That is a more fitting revenge, served cold for half a century, rather than a quick death, however painful.

      Like

  78. 220
    ANYdirectDemocracyIsCommunism says:

    ALL Brown’s memoirs should be boycotted. He does not deserve to make one single penny from his treacherous ruination of this once great land. Actually he should be on trial for numerous counts of treason. Any publisher of his ramblings would ideally fail to sell any of THEIR other books either, because those who help the wicked profit from their misdeeds are thus implicated in the offences and deserving of punishment themselves.

    Like

    • 227
      Goddam commie conspiracy theorist says:

      I wonder if when public records are opened in 100 years or god knows when, that it will be revealled that he was part of some sort of fucked up marxist plot to destablise the UK by completely and utterly screwing the economy? After all selling off the country’s gold reserves when they were at rock bottom AND when he was warned by the treasury he risked losing a huge amount of public money by doing so does seem like a bizzare thing to do.

      Like

      • 232
        Back from the future and have i got news for you? says:

        He’ll be seen as a far sighted visionary, sadly unappreciated by the moronic neanderthals of the early 21st century.

        Like

      • 394
        equity abhors a Maxim says:

        Usually, it’s 30 years. The particularly radioactive stuff takes longer to decay to safe levels (e.g. Kelly). This stuff will still be unsafe for thousands of years.

        Like

  79. 234
    ANYdirectDemocracyIsCommunism says:

    Treason most foul.

    Like

  80. 237
    The last quango in paris says:

    I hope he us taxed to the hint at 50 percent for his multiple salaries ! He and his wife are under the misconception that we are interested in what they have to say. How can he talk about the financial scandal when he deregulated the banks and didn’t see it coming! He is a moron and the labour party knew it and let him carry on. If I were s contender in the leadership race I would say so – he was a disgrace, we knew we were losing and so left him. Can we check out his expenses whilst he is doing sod all for his constituents and ensure that his limited visits to London do jot coincide with visits to his publisher with us footing the travel bill.

    Like

    • 243

      Radio 5 are in some working man’s club in Kirkcaldy now.Discussing 60,000 public sector job losses in Scotland.
      if I heard through the accents correctly it seems to be Thatcher’s fault.

      Earlier on the BBC R5 leaders debates there was a women ? who claimed to be from the PM’s constituency , but she sounded like she came from Bromley.
      She was asked if she had ever seen the PM.

      “I’ve seen him once in 15 years. That was when he was opening a charity shop. One of many as the high street is full of boarded up stores.” Derbyshire cut her off before she did a Duffy, but it was still good.

      Someone less lazy than I should find that audio clip. It was pure Guido gold.

      Like

      • 298
        Guido's circle-jerking windowlickers are mad says:

        It was pure Guido gold… ???

        Ah bless, you must be a cock cheese aficionado then! If so join the queue behind concrete tanked and the rest.

        Gold? You must be one behind the lesson Mark O took.

        Golden showers indeed, is that what one requires to be considered for the Bullingdon Club these days?

        My, how standards have dropped.

        Like

        • 317

          I’m not sure what you’re on about but if you want me to put you up for membership it’ll cost you.

          Your socialist pals would charge you a million quid to be a Labour Peer.
          But I can get you on the nomination for 10% of that, OK?

          No cheques though ..cash in a bag. And if you’re dressed as a sheik the deals off.

          Like

  81. 238
    John says:

    It’s never ending with Gordon Brown is it? We paid him a salary for 13 years so he could fuck up the entire country’s finances, and now we’re fucking paying him so sit on his fucking arse all day writing a book that nobody except Mrs Brown and Nick Robinson are ever going to read.

    The arrogant bastard just wants it all doesn’t he? Why is the House of Commons as a public body allowing this useless Scottish fuckwit to continue behaving in the way he is doing at the moment? If I fucked off the job for over two months without an excuse I’d be sacked from my job.

    Why aren’t the residents of Kirkcaldy banging on his door demanding he does the job they elected him to do? Why isn’t the Kirkcaldy Labour Party kicking him up the arse? More useless wankers everywhere is what I’m seeing.

    Like

    • 241
      Cross party conspiracy says:

      Because the system protects it’s members, and you ain’t one of them.

      Like

      • 396
        equity abhors a Maxim says:

        … and because (incredibly) they genuinely think that he is doing a good job for them as a constituency MP. Having a star as your representative in Parliament is incredibly flattering, even if he is a useless lump of lard.

        Like

  82. 239
    Where's Gordon says:

    This is what Mr T thinks of Gordon.

    Like

  83. 244
  84. 250
    ANYdirectDemocracyIsCommunism says:

    We should NEVER reward traitors (with memoirs, pensions or desirable jobs). We should ALWAYS punish them.

    Like

  85. 254
    ANYdirectDemocracyIsCommunism says:

    I hate to say this, because I loath him so much, but he actually serves his moronic constituents right, for not only re-electing him as their MP, but actually doing so with an increased majority. After all, some piece of commietrash slime is all they would ever be capable of electing anyway. It might as well be one who never appears in the House of Commons, when it would only be in support of communism if he did. I really hope that his constituents ARE lumbered with this non-working MP for the next five years, unless he is jailed, which would of course be a better outcome still.

    Like

  86. 257
    BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

    Hey Guido, give me a clue as to why my 7.24pm entry (a model of political observation but also calling Miliband D a “rubber faced twat”) remains in limbo?

    Like

  87. 260
    Where's Gordon says:

    Moo-ham-mad would be proud of this fellow.

    Like

  88. 283
    zero sense of self awareness says:

    Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap

    Like

  89. 286
    Fuckwit twatter says:

    Yes, but he is a Hunt.

    Like

  90. 287
    Robert C says:

    Is it possible that Uncle Gordon is having the typing for his book done by dictation using speech recognition software?

    Or is he like so much of Old Labour still living in a world where Luddites (as well as James Maxton) were heroes?

    Like

    • 443
      Grimy Miner says:

      Any speech recognition software would struggle
      a.) with his accent &
      b.) with the regular slack jawed yokelness.

      Like

  91. 288

    Anyone watching this weak rewriting of history on BBC2, Rick Nobinson’s transparent attempt to save his job by suggesting he knew exactly what was going on with the coalition, but was just too damn polite to report it…?

    The soundtrack seems to be suggesting that Dave and Nick spent the night after the election shooting up heroin. Good for them.

    BTW, I hate Gordon more now than I ever have, and I have always hated him mroe than you lot.

    Like

    • 291
      concrete pump says:

      I didn’t know which of Nobinsons eyes to look at.

      Boggle eyed c*nt.

      Like

    • 292
      £142.50 says:

      Why watch it then? What did you expect?
      The BBC love people like you.
      Write to Ray Snoddy, and get your 5 minutes of fame being patronised by some PR goon on a wage you can only dream of, and then have a moan.

      Like

    • 308
      windowlicker 'friends' here are mad says:

      Didn’t you used to be some wanker ‘writing’ for the Grauniad?

      If so I have no sympathy whatsoever – fuck off you shit.

      You are all in it together! #efties / #ighties … fuck you.

      Arse hole extraordinaire!

      Like

      • 315

        Sympathy for what? What’s you problem chum?

        Besides, don’t knock windowlicking. It’s a cheap night out.

        Like

        • 325
          Mary Whitehouse says:

          Windowlicking, OK.
          TV screenlicking, sad.

          Like

        • 345
          Trooping the colour says:

          This isn’t democracy. This is party political posting.

          Like

        • 367
          Mindfucker says:

          For the good cop, bad cop, tory trolls that infest this place, there is a clear distinction in roles played. Most of them are easily identified, but is our host a genuine seeker of Parliamentary honesty, or just another psy op apparatchik?
          It’s a very devious world out there.

          Like

  92. 297
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    You have to hand it to Gordon
    10,000 words a day using a head wand or a felt tip pen clasped between your toes takes real courage

    Like

    • 300
      Mong voter says:

      I’d fucking do it for the wedge he’s on.

      Like

    • 304
      circle-jerking windowlickers here are mad says:

      You got to hand it to this piece of shit blog!

      No change! Even less than last year.

      Like

      • 312
        Why take to the streets when posting on blogs can change the world? says:

        This is how the establishment operates.

        Like

    • 331
      Sandpiper says:

      He’s not writing 10,000 words a day! He’s gallivanting around Africa trying to drum up job opportunities whilst he’s being paid an MP’s salary but not doing the work.

      As for those 10,000 words a day – apparently he’s employed that kirsty person to do them for him – it’s called ghost writing!

      She’ll just do what alastairc did when he wanted to write that dodgy dossier – drag it all off the web and copy it – doesn’t matter if it’s not true!

      Like

  93. 299
    Brokeback cripple says:

    I can’t fucking walk.

    Like

  94. 302
    Guido's circle-jerking windowlickers are mad says:

    Didn’t you used to be some wanker ‘writing’ for the Grauniad?

    If so I have no sympathy whatsoever – fuck off you turd.

    You are all in it together! Lefties / righties … fuck you.

    Like

  95. 305
    windowlicker 'friends' here are mad says:

    Didn’t you used to be some wanker ‘writing’ for the Grauniad?

    If so I have no sympathy whatsoever – fuck off you shit.

    You are all in it together! #efties / #ighties … fuck you.

    Like

  96. 306
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    Crumbs!

    Now my MPs know I was lying to them so I could keep my boyfriend Nick happy.

    Like

  97. 314
  98. 318
    Sir Fred Goodwin says:

    They want to raise the retirement age apparently, in order to pay off the national debt.
    I’ll die laughing at this rate.

    Like

  99. 319
    Sandpiper says:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-10753490

    I see gordon’s next goal is to become the leader in Africa.

    Obviously he thinks they’ll not be too aware of the fact that he’s a walking financial disaster with no understanding of how national and international economies work.

    No doubt he’s hoping one of more of the African nations will employ him, for large sums of money, to trash their economies as he has trashed ours.

    Like

    • 324
      Dr Crippen, i presume? says:

      I heard he was to undertake much needed missionary work amongst the savages of Norfolk.

      Like

      • 326
        Sandpiper says:

        I rather suspect the ‘ savages of norfolk’ could teach gordon much about the theory of spending 99p in every £1 that you earn and saving the remaining 1p and being happy by doing that!

        Like

        • 329
          The Jeffrey Archers says:

          An everyday story of simple folk.

          Like

          • Sandpiper says:

            I’m not sure where Jeffrey fits in to anything – isn’t he still locked up somewhere?

            But then of course there’s an awful lot of MP’s and a few lords, who’ve troughed off the taxpayer who should be locked up with him aren’t there?

            Like

          • V says:

            At a rough guess. 2,000?
            But i’m open to offers.

            Like

      • 333
        Engineer says:

        Savage’s were a large, well-known maker of traction engines and agricultural machinery of high quality up till about 50 years ago. I think they were based in Thetford.

        Like

    • 330
      Engineer says:

      A walking financial disaster should fit in very well in Africa. He could “manage” some of our millions that he so generously donated to them. They may even honour him with a prime seat in a large cook-pot (well, we can but hope…).

      Like

      • 337
        Spac says:

        First nell, in her alter ego of sandpiper, shows up, and Lo! Engineer beams down for a crap.
        It’s trolling Jim, but not as we know it.

        Like

        • 346
          Sandpiper says:

          http://www.lake-winnipesaukee-travel-guide.com/trolling-for-fish.html

          Trolling Jim eh? I’m a great fan. A real hobby for a real man. These labour wimps we’ve just got rid of wouldn’t understand such red-blooded sport.

          In fact, if they had stayed in office much longer even fishing would have been banned!

          Like

          • Suck my worm, nell says:

            Real sport is hooking a gullible voter using the tried and tested method of convincing the gulping bloater with an attention span of a five year term, that this time it’ll taste much better.l

            Like

          • Engineer says:

            So far, since May 2010, it is tasting better. Much better.

            Like

          • Sandpiper says:

            suck my worm? (Or rather labour’s worm!)

            Isn’t that exactly what those 30% of welfare , never get out of bed, betting on the web, vodka drinking cheaters did by voting labour?

            Like

          • Alan Duncan says:

            Quite right. Not like us honest tories guv.

            Like

          • Sandpiper says:

            Oh but you miss the point entirely!

            Y’see we down to earth working types who contribute real work, and real taxes to the country just completely despise you westminster types .

            As far as we’re concerned you are parasites. Worthless. Contributing nothing to real life just living off the back of those of us who have real jobs!

            And those parasites are usually called such things as gordon, alastairc, bliar, balls, ellie, whelan, the miliblands, and on and on…………

            Like

          • 400+ and you're a cun't says:

            Is that why we were re-elected?

            Like

          • the invisible dead of afghanistan says:

            things are MUCH better here in the slaughterhouse

            Like

  100. 328
    IDS says:

    We want to make work pay.
    That’s why i’m opposed to the minimum wage.

    Like

  101. 335
    Ewanme says:

    Well, I ‘spose his typing speed depends on which digit – or appendage – he’s typing wiv, don’t it, hun…
    And, whether the appendage is *hard* or *limp* at the time of striking it against the keyboard…
    Ee was a wanka when ee was PM. Now, I spose ee’s a wanka behind his PC.
    Yeah, ee’s probably wanking against ‘is keybawd 20 hours a day, typing a few ‘undred words an hour…but at least ee’s not ruining the economy anymore is ee?
    Luv y’all, sweethearts xx

    Like

    • 348
      Engineer says:

      Hmmm….if the appendage was *hard*, it would point in the wrong direction for keyboard operation. Unless, of course, the operator was suspended from the ceiling by their feet, or the keyboard was attached to the underside of the desk.

      If the appendage was *limp*, it may not have the force or accuracy to operate the keys swiftly enough. (All this is, of course, conjecture.)

      The “underside of desk” theory seems most probable, though what the operator might have on top of the desk to maintain engorgement of the said appendage is probably better left unexplored. As indeed, would the keyboard be afterwards.

      Like

      • 389
        Ewanme says:

        Ah……but it’s my understanding, darlin, that ee’s got Clinton’s problem: a penis that bends in the *wrong* direction (curves daanwards) when erect. So, no need for that kinky stuff of ‘angin in an ‘arness from the ceiling…unless ee likes a bit of S&M slap ‘n’ tickle norf of the border, if ya know what I mean xx

        Like

  102. 336
    HappyUK says:

    How come none of the mainstream media have latched on this? This surely has not gone unnoticed for some time now?

    I’m gonna get on to my MP about this, Fiona O’Donnell, replacement for Anne Moffat, recently retired due to ill health / expensesitis.

    Like

  103. 343
    To all British Service Personnel. says:

    If you’re willing to risk your life upholding the aims of a corrupt government, ours or Afghanistan’s, take your pick, as much as i regret the senseless waste of life, don’t expect me to grieve when you return via Wotten Bassett in a box.
    You shouldn’t have joined up if you can’t take a joke at MP’s expense.

    Like

  104. 347
    Christy says:

    His legacy will be written in the history books as one of the most economically incompetent chancellors/pm’s this country has ever experienced.
    When you look back on his political background/aspirations he comes across as a flawed individual striving for power at any cost in pursuit of his own infallible vanity.
    Gorgon has proved over and over again that his percieved vision of his invincibility was and still is a myth in his own head.
    We are well rid of this power junkie and his spineless yes men and now we have the spectacle of these same yes men vying to be party leader and calling Gorgon not fit to burn,what a bunch of self serving wretches they are proving to be.
    It really suggests to me that they are no better than him in seeking power regardless of principals rather than to seek to humbly represent the values and aspirations of the people of this land.

    Like

  105. 350
    bofl says:

    will he be telling us about the worst ever trade in the history of the gold market?

    where he employed two leading investment banks to advise the govt. –

    then as he had absolutely fuck all experience of being a trader ( no brains either) he did EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what they told him to do?

    A LOSS OF £7 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!
    SEEMS TO BE THE WILFUL DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC FUNDS?

    WHY IS HE FREE? HE SHOULD BE ON TRIAL!

    a private prosecution anyone?
    my donation is ready.

    if the garda can do it????????????

    Like

  106. 354
    Sandpiper says:

    I see that gordon spent £531.5million , of our money, on PR and Advertising in his last year in government , most of it presumably on advertising to persuade people to vote for him.

    I’m not happy about the waste but I’m glad it didn’t work!

    Like

  107. 355
    Mark Oat An says:

    Blow me.

    Like

  108. 356
    zarazilla says:

    Am I really going to be the only person to point out that 40 wpm is really quite slow? It is of the hunt and peck speed. I consider myself a fast typist – I am at 120 wpm although that is without the pausing to think – I used to copy type during university holidays.

    I would say at least 60 wpm can be considered ‘slightly fast’.

    Like

  109. 361
    Voice of Treason says:

    For fuck’s sake leave the guy alone. The constant baiting of Brown reveals more about the juvenile brains of the perpetrators than it does about Brown. The man has gone, finished, his only role now is representing a two-bit Scottish nonentity in a role of opposition and no doubt after a suitable time he will resign from that role.

    Start making in-roads into some of the hypocrites than are now joined in unholy wedlock in the Lib/Con pact which is already showing cracks of break up.

    Like

    • 368
      Sandpiper says:

      Er.No!

      You have that wrong!

      gordon is still drawing an MP’s salary, and an ex PM’s very generous severance allowance.

      He still has a gold plated MP’s pension ( even though he very publicly gave up the PM’s pension} and he still has the ex PM’s generous allowance for security detail which he is happily making use of.

      He’s drawing little short of £250k a year and probably then some.

      So when is he going to stop trolling Africa for his next lucrative job and start working for the money we taxpayers are currently paying him?!

      Like

  110. 362
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Why the extra “R”
    POOF GORDON IS WASTING MONEY
    Why should he change the habits of a lifetime

    Like

  111. 363
    Anonymous says:

    A conspiracy theorist might conclude that all these plastic revolutionaries are in reality just establishment goons peddling the siren voice of the resistance.
    There really is no hope.
    http://mrishmael.blogspot.com/

    Like

  112. 364
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Methinks its time for your hols, Senor Fawkes.

    Like

  113. 365
    BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

    How come David Miliband is the “go to” person for a comment on Cameron’s supposed diplomatic snub to Pakistan?

    “And Shadow Foreign Secretary David Miliband said the prime minister needed to think “through carefully what he is going to say” on such occasions.

    While Britain must speak with “conviction” on important issues, he said Mr Cameron had only told “half the story” and “failed to recognise” Pakistan had lost thousands of its own citizens, including former leader Benazir Bhutto, to terrorist attacks.

    “There is a fine line between a straight talker and a loud mouth,” he told the BBC.”

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10797847

    He should know – the rubber faced twat upset the Indians last year with some “thought through carefully” comments about Kashmir.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7837961.stm

    Incidentally, it’s instructive to observe how the BBC handled both stories…

    Like

  114. 366

    I’m happy to pay Gordon Brown to stay away from governent. If we’d done that thirteen years ago we’d be a lot better off now! Talking about “investing” in the future!

    Like

    • 372
      Sir Fred Goodwin's benevolent fund for retired piss takers says:

      Just stand in line and pay taxes like a cun’t and you will.

      Like

  115. 370
    Oh come on says:

    Are you a constituent?
    Thought not, wonder if they are complaining?

    Leave your witch hunt at the door. It’s unseemly. You can batter balls (forgive the gay pun) and the brothers milligrimm, but by attacking a defeated man you come across as a superior vindictive twat.

    Like

    • 373
      Sandpiper says:

      How interesting!

      Are you saying that gordon’ is a defeated man’?

      Is that what he’s saying?

      I thought he has just spent the past recent days in Africa telling anyone who will listen to him how he is the most amazingly economically competent man who can deliver prosperity for them if only they will employ him ( at great cost of course!)

      Is he lying?!

      Like

      • 387
        Anonymous says:

        Indeed.

        Not content with bankrupting the UK, destroying our financial system, and making a significant contribution to creating the global recession, he’s now trying to destroy Africa.

        Carry on guido.

        Don’t let the fucker rest until he’s finally said “sorry that I fucked up the whole country (and, indeed, also helped fuck up the whole world with the contagious financial shite that I created and the total lack of protection against contagion from elsewhere that I applied). I’m off to sit in a shed for the next 30 years”, because until that day comes he’s still intent on wreaking havoc wherever he can.

        He may have lost the election, but he’s still trying to destroy as many people’s lives as he can. Only this time he’s trying to do it in Africa.

        Never forget. If we forget then it’ll happen again. And I’m fucked if I’m going to just sit back and watch another unelected lunatic bankrupt the country, rig the electoral boundaries in his favour, and piss all over our military.

        Like

      • 403
        windowlickers wanking furiously over yesterdays man says:

        Did you wank off furiously for months over Major or Hague or Howard when they got defeated ?

        So shut the fuck up.

        Like

  116. 376
    Brenda Bonkbuster says:

    Fancy a quick Horlicks and cucumber sandwich, dears? It might stiffen your pencils.

    Like

    • 427
      Swinging drapers says:

      Get yourself round to ours Brenda, and bring your car keys! Derek would love to fire some population paste from his porridge gun all over you….. After cucumbers sandwiches of course.

      Like

  117. 377
    IPSA scrutinty committee says:

    Ultimately, who gives a fuck, anyway?

    Like

  118. 378
    Jimmy says:

    Have you ever considered trainspotting?

    Like

  119. 379
    Anonymous says:

    does the Hunt type with a stutter?

    Like

  120. 383
    Andy Coulson says:

    Those pussy tory trolls have all fucked off.
    You just can’t get the staff at these rates.

    Like

  121. 385
    Guiweedo loves all the time says:

    Is Dame ‘Fucking’ Bakewell a media / political whore or what?

    Like

  122. 386
    Arthur Daley MP says:

    I’m putting a monkey on 400 dead troops by Xmas.
    It pays to look ahead.

    Like

  123. 388

    [...] Proof Gordon Is Wasting Money Brown is, we are told, pounding out 10,000 words per day. If he were the “Fastest Typist In The World” [...] [...]

    Like

    • 390
      Spoon fed muppet says:

      Blogs of the day! What a cosy little wankfest world has been spawned,
      It’s nearly as bad as PMQ’s.

      Like

  124. 399
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon couldn’t see the wood for the tree’s……and there’s more like him around
    in Parlarsement.
    MP’ should be made to publish a weekly diary then we would all know what they are up to and hold them to account.

    Like

  125. 404
    windowlickers wanking furiously over yesterdays man says:

    fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap! fap!

    Like

    • 428
      Anonymous says:

      How ironic.

      Like

      • 434
        Ron E. says:

        as ironic as foaming at the mouth to get rid of the twat for 3 years then talking endlessly about him and obsessing over the cun’ts every dull detail once he’s out
        despite the public clearly not giving a fuck what he’s up to now

        Like

  126. 408
    Ellie Gellard says:

    The identity of a mystery man who has been appearing in the background of live news bulletins over the past few months has finally been revealed.

    The man’s many appearances had been tracked by the fidgetwith.com blog which spotted him hovering in the background of reports on Sky News, ITV, BBC and Channel 4, as well as on an episode of ‘The Antiques’ Roadshow’.

    Now it’s been revealed that he is Ed Balls, and his appearances are part of a protest against the media.

    He told the Evening Standard: “It is a statement about the image conscious media. I am overweight and people like me are treated as unsightly because of the way they look.

    “I could have a valid point about something but the microphone is always passed to the person alongside me. The point I am making is that the more you push me aside, the more I’m going to be determined to make my presence known.”

    Like

  127. 411
    anonymous says:

    As an enticement to get some people off benefits, making work pay (which it should anyway) is fine . However, when there could then be 5 million people actively looking for work – WHERE ARE THE JOBS?????

    Like

    • 415
      marcus aurelius says:

      if you cut taxes ad regulation private sector creates jobs

      If you steal private money and subject everyone to a box ticking Stasi then the private sector cuts jobs. It really ouldn’t be simpler

      What you can’t do is to keep in some luxury a university indoctrinated elite superstructure regulating the trade of ordinary people on the grounds of ‘elf ‘n’ safety, racial awareness, “equality” “sustainability” or any other excuse for Marxist titalitarian control

      Like

      • 429
        anonymous says:

        so where are the jobs?

        what sort of jobs?

        how skilled/ qualified do you have to be?

        what are the wages/salary?

        are they like Gordon Brown’s job – he must have the best job in the world – no work, no pressure just does what he likes and get paid for it??

        Like

  128. 413
    Ed Balls says:

    “I’m in leadership race to come last”

    Make no mistake about that

    By the way

    What do you call a woman with no legs?

    Fanny Walker

    Like

  129. 420
    Toenails says:

    Think Guido Fawkes is falling for Ms Cooper. Don’t tell Mr BALLS *please*. They call him bruiser for a reason.

    Like

  130. 422
    Nick Clegg says:

    I picked this tart up and said, “Right, back to your place for a fuck.”

    She said, “No, I’m on my period, but you can come in for a drink if you like.”

    I said, “What do you think I am, a fucking vampire?”

    Like

  131. 424
  132. 426
    Sarah Tweet says:

    RT @Sally Bercow @bryony_gordon wasn’t thinking straight coz of waiter’s appalling BO! Thx 4 lunch [CAN'T THINK WHY I AM NOT MISSING LONDON]
    http://twitter.com/SarahBrownUK/status/19835402828

    Like

    • 431
      anonymous says:

      what the fuck do you post here for – why don’t you fuck off back to lalaland – fuckin cretin

      Like

  133. 433
    I hate New Labour says:

    How can he be ‘fighting for fairness’ sitting on his BFA all day churning out his fantasy version of events?

    Like

  134. 435
    Gordon says:

    What I do is a type in the word “Gordon”, then I copy it, then I keep pressing the paste button (Ctrl V) all through the day. This way I can easily do 200 word a minute or 10000 a day. Crafty eh?

    Like

  135. 438
    Anonymous says:

    He could try voice recognition software – but I’m not sure if it would understand words like “neo-endogenous growth theory” in a Scots accent.

    Like

  136. 444
    Anonymous says:

    It’s a disagrace however you cut it.

    Like

  137. 445
    John says:

    Frankly I’m wondering how he’s managing to write such a large book. He’s going to blame Blair, Mandelson, the bankers and the Global Credit Crunch for absolutely everything.

    I’ve just summarised his whole book in about 16 words.

    Like

  138. 446

    Mr. Brown has been trying to convince us that boosterism provides an easy escape from a life of frustration, unhappiness, desperation, depression, and loneliness. This pathetic attempt to reopen wounds that seem scarcely healed deserves no comment other than to say that in order to convince us that “the norm” shouldn’t have to worry about how the exceptions feel, Mr. Brown often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. He always demands instant gratification.

    Mr. Brown should clarify his point so people like you and me can tell what the heck he’s talking about. Without clarification, Mr. Brown’s codices sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don’t really seem to make any sense. He seems to be playing the “I’m more morally crippled than you” game.

    Of course, this will be an exercise in futility unless you accept the fundamental premise of this letter, namely that Mr. Gordon Brown has no social tenderness, very few of those amiable private virtues that would win our affection, and none of those public qualities that claim respect or command admiration.

    Like

  139. 448
    chris says:

    In the public sector there is a thing called toil, this is for time spent over and above doing your hours each day. I am sure Gordon built up a lot of toil during his time as PM which he is taking now maybe!!!

    Like

  140. 449
    Anonymous says:

    Philip K. Dick was the best novelist ever and even he could not match that pace”

    Like


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Lord Glasman tells it like it is:

“The first thing is to acknowledge that Labour has been captured by a kind of aggressive public sector morality which is concerned with the individual and the collective but doesn’t understand relationships.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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