July 25th, 2010

Does Anybody Really Like Balls?

It is possible that Ed Balls could come last in the leadership contest behind Diane Abbott and Andy Burnham. If so it would be the final humiliation of the TaliBrown, the cabal of bullying second-raters who ousted three-time election winner Tony Blair to install Gordon Brown, a politician who has never won a competitive election in his life.

With rumours* circulating that following Charlie Whelan’s inability to get Unite to endorse him, he’ll withdraw from the contest, Blinky says ‘I fight on; I fight to win. I’m in it to win it. I am the best person to fight this coalition.’ Good, it will give us a good laugh to see him totally humiliated.

*You first read about Balls withdrawing and supporting David Miliband in return for endorsement for the Shadow Chancellorship on this blog.


  1. 1
    Keith Chegwin says:


  2. 2
    Sir Alf Mandelson says:

    On me chin son on me chin

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    His mum.

  4. 4
    Gordon Brown says:

    His mum

  5. 5
    marcus aurelius says:

    but will we ever see the egregious Balls have to get a proper job? that’s what I want to see all these Hoons have to produce something that someone else will pay for

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    The ludicrous lies and lack of self-awareness encapsulated in that statement: ‘I fight on; I fight to win. I’m in it to win it. I am the best person to fight this coalition.’ are truly risible.

    I hope we never have such an incompetent in power in the rest of my life.

  7. 7
    His Mum says:

    Not much

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    He’s a Hunt.

  9. 9
    Steve Hilton says:

    So basically the Blair and Brown years REDUX.

    the loser Balls with no talent or hope of winning legitmately begs and makes deals he really is in no position to make to get a job and then spends the rest of his career and life plotting the downfall of his leader so he can steal his job.

    Who said the left where full of original ideas lol?

    Balls the sad puppet of Brown, even re-living out his masters life.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Just like me dog! you don’t miss ur balls until he’s gone!

  11. 11
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Yvette is also right behind Dave Milliband
    Two Balls and a prick to lead Labour into the future

  12. 12
    Nick B says:

    Keeping Balls in it, keeps Labour out of it… game on!

  13. 13
    Doc Trough says:

    Don’t think the lad Yves likes him either. Kryptonite Smelly perhaps?

  14. 14
    Hugh Janus says:

    On the contrary, his leadership of NuLiebour would be welcomed by all those who detest NuLiebour.

  15. 15
    green_underpants says:

    I like pork balls with curry sauce.

  16. 16
    Yvette Cooper Balls says:

    I haven’t had a good shag in years.

  17. 17
    Humbug Hater says:

    I used to have a pretty low opinion of Ed Balls, based on some of the tittle tattle going around. But, interestingly, your campaign of unremitting vilification led me to look at his record more closely. Hate to tell you, but I’m pretty impressed, specially with his achievements in education. Am also impressed by his energy in the leadership contest. He’s not expected to win, but he’d make a fearsome shadow chancellor.

  18. 18
    Keith Chegwin says:

    He’s a tosser I’m afraid

  19. 19
    Steve Hilton says:

    Ok Ed no need to be quite so blantent in your attempts to draw up sympathy and support.

  20. 20
    Steve Hilton says:

    Lets all remember Baby P happened on Ed’s watch.

  21. 21
    Laughing hysterically says:

    Balls to the wall time

  22. 22
    Seymour says:

    Well Yvette might like him.

    Given the sour face she always wears, like someone with a bad taste in their mouth, I’m guessing she gives him the occasional blow job.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Sounds like Brown.

  24. 24
    gordon brown says:

    I have always enjoyed the company of a hard working pair of Balls, that is why I will be lending my full support to Ed (the ballbag one)
    In these difficult times we need a firm hand on the tiller
    Ed Balls always had his eyes on my moral tiller and now can I
    just say
    I admire Balls everyday

  25. 25
    Lord Palmerston says:

    ” Blinky says ‘I fight on; I fight to win.'”

    Is this a direct quote? If so, they’re the exact words Margaret Thatcher used in 1990 before, er, quitting.

  26. 26
    Ed Balls says:

    Same here.

  27. 27
    Steve Hilton says:

    Well…….more like knifed in the back but don’t say it too loudly.

  28. 28
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Who cares?
    A Chav in the making thankfully beaten to death before the little bastard got the chance to suck up NHS money, gt tuld hw 2 txt at skool or tuk up happy slapping
    One ov eds greet avhievements

  29. 29
    Doc Trough says:

    I have some Werther’s Originals if you prefer a creamier confection. His Lordship is very partial to a chew.

  30. 30
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Fearsome? You’re having a laugh surely………..as for the notion that you’re ‘impressed’ by his energy, dream on. He’s a twat. I know it, you know it, the labour party knows it – that’s why he is so unpopular. By all means feel free to unleash him on the electorate as your chosen leader – utter tosspot. As for his achievements in education, have you ever talked with a 10/12/14/16/18/20 year old? The odd one is interesting – the majority completely vacant. Whilst there is nothing new in that, there was a time that they would be vacant but educated. You sound like a victim of his success frankly…………

  31. 31
    Tat tap says:

    I don’t like Ed Balls to the point of detestation , however, he is the only Labour leader candidate who may be able to challenge Cameron at PMQ’s.
    Cameron will murder David M at PMQ’s the man is just not up to it.
    Balls is an obvious target because of his alliance to the ex pm but he can put up a fight but the rest of the candidates are B-
    Personally I pray for Mil d but then I am a Conservative

  32. 32

    Come on now – be fair: Yvette likes Balls [allegedly]; Gordon Brown probably would like Balls [if he understood the meaning of the word]; and then there’s that other bloke.. er… can’t remember his name.

    The other 4 leadership contenders quite like him, too: he’s doing so much for their campaigns.


  33. 33
    Chavic Pride says:

    thats “ur-cheeev-munts” u ficko

  34. 34
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    I did before you said that.

  35. 35
    Mandy's best friend says:

    Not as welcome as Dye Ann A Boot

  36. 36
    Knuckle Dragger says:

    least hes english unlike them immigrant millibands init

  37. 37
    The man who came in from the all Women Shortlist says:

    What Achievements ?
    All Labour did for education whilst in power was dumb down the exam system which gave almost everybody A grades.

    Do not confuse shiny new buildings with the quality of education that takes place within them.

    I am reminded of a TV program a few years ago in which Present day “A Grade” students sat their exams again this time according to the standards of the 1950’s. Most failed never mind getting good grades.

    Their other “achievement” was to make it easier to get into university under the pretence of taking down mythical barriers to working class kids. Gordon Brown was instrumental in creating this class war myth. Truth was if you were bright enough you could get into uni regardless of your background. Brown pedalled lies about this.

    Turning every education establishment into a university offering vaccuous degrees in “media studies” etc was a facade hiding the declining standards.

    Kept youngsters of the unemployment figures right enough and therein lies another deception…

  38. 38
    David Milliband Esq Future Labour Leader & Glorious Saviour Of Humanity says:

    I can’t even get my penis up properly.

  39. 39
    Can’t remember my moniker says:


  40. 40
    The man who came in from the all Women Shortlist says:

    I recently completed a degree with the OU during which I was often struck by the petulance of some fellow students who felt aggreived when they were not awarded Top grades for which the felt entitled. T

  41. 41
    Charlie Whelan says:

    Ed Balls stabbed at Comic-Con not seriously hurt. Doctors say he’s alert and masturbating comfortably.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    I recently completed a course in further education during which I was often struck by the petulance of some fellow students who felt aggrieved when they were not awarded Top grades for which the felt entitled.
    They tended to be younger students not long out of School were they were obviously used to getting top marks whether merited or not I mean it was just soooooo not fair !

  43. 43
    rick says:

    Harsh, but realistic.

  44. 44

    Ha! Bloody Ha!. So I won’t be leader
    But you’ll all be laughing when I win the South Hull and Regions Annual Blinking Awards (for which Charles Clarke and David Walliams are also in the running.)
    I am also negotiating a contract with Optrex and will soon be promoting their new Anti-Blink Drops
    So screw you

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    He should go private and get a nurse to do it for him !

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    No Ed Milliwit would be even worse at PMQ’s . Have you seen his TV interviews he is a gibbering idiot at times.

  47. 47
    The latest load of Bollocks says:

    16 seconds into the vid, Balls lets one rip. If IGNFY picks up on this then farty Balls becomes the the odious smell of Brown’s Labour.

  48. 48
    boring says:



  49. 49
    Anonymous says:


  50. 50
    David Laws says:

    I like salty balls.

  51. 51
    concrete pump says:

    Balls is comedy fucking gold, he is clown shoes personified.

    Prescott used to make me laugh, Balls however is such a twat of epic proportions, he could quite easily trounce Prescott’s fat c*ntery.

  52. 52
    Sarah Tweet says:

    Gordon already back in UK so we get a family day today and then back to work again tomorrow – for both of us!
    about 4 hours ago via web

  53. 53
    no ha ha ha says:

    Unlike Balls who made a non-competitive election competitive!

    We are still paying him and his wife 130k a year plus expenses, mortgages payments,…

  54. 54

    Ed Balls could pull out in favour of David Miliband, but Milly could only make him Shadow Chancellor if he were elected to the Shadow Cabinet. There is no guarantee of that.

    How priceless, if neither of them were to be elected to the list of those to whom Ed Miliband was to allocate portfolios. They would probably both announce that they were leaving Parliament at the next Election, as Tony Blair had been about to do when John Smith died.

    As much as anything else, that would be one in the eye of the BBC, which has been campaigning for David Miliband ever since Blair announced that he was standing down.

  55. 55
    Mrs Lovejoy says:

    Where is my tim?

  56. 56
    Peter Grimes says:

    So that’s the reason for her spotty complexion. Can’t be much substance to Bollox’ jism or she would have grown a pair by now (tits I mean, not the testicular type)!

  57. 57
    Peter Grimes says:

    ‘Challenge Cameron’! Do you mean just spout lies for the sheeple to latch onto like McMong used to?

  58. 58
    Wan Gok says:

    The problem with Balls is he is cut from the same shabby cloth as Brown. Whelan tried to tailor Balls to suit the needs and the style of the Unions, they however find his ideas unfashionable and his style of spin harks back to the past, this needles them. A new trend is struggling to emerge within the Labour Party, this means Ed Balls will be packed off ready for the jumble with the rest of the tat.

  59. 59
    Peter Grimes says:

    Is tat leaving Guido’s blog as well?

  60. 60
    Maximus says:

    Hush money

  61. 61
    Lateral Demigod says:

    “Does Anybody Really Like Balls?”

    I would imagine he’s Cameron’s favourite candidate

  62. 62
    Wan Gok says:

    David Miliband is not an heir to Blair he is the next Jack Straw. The man has all the charisma of a week old corpse.

  63. 63
    Maximus says:

    Ruskin College for the many not the few – even if it meant making every college into Ruskin College.

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Beard? Moi? says:

    Why did the Bastard have to come back. I have had a lovely time in Hunterbury.

  66. 66
    P. Doff says:

    Does that include slush money?

  67. 67
    Wan Gok says:

    rEd Balloons for the Labour Party. Ed fook off to Embarassing Bodies you tw*t.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Well spotted Sir

  69. 69
    Ed Milibands Press Officer says:

    Does anyone really like Chris Huhne ???

    d_Miliband Just did r4 on gulf oil.Huhne has caught governmentalitis: ‘we can’t have a revolution, we need a process’ he said or words to that effect.

  70. 70
    P. Doff says:

    Nine out of ten for spelling, my dear boy… but you dropped a mark for omitting the capital letter, apostrophe and full-stop.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Same tribe. Nuff said

  72. 72
    Sarah "I can see the big society from here, with a telescopic sight" Palin says:

    Hi Ya, junior partners! How’s that cooling lotion thingy going for y’all? When i’m in the White House, that dishy Dave Cam will be a regular sleep over guest. He’s like Hugh Grant with gravitas. But who’s this Brickbat Nick he keeps mentioning? Is he some sort of lonesome cowboy?
    Gotta be moseying along, i have to strangle something for supper.

  73. 73
    A scam by any means says:

    In any other “sport” blatantly fixing the outcome would result in Legal proceedings.

    How is F 1 able to get away with rigging the result of today’s GP ?

  74. 74
    P. Doff says:

    Hang on… back to work tomorrow (Monday July 26th)… and Parliament’s Summer recess starts on Tuesday July 27th! He must really need the long holiday on full pay!

  75. 75
    My Evil Twin says:

    Looks like we are stuck with Brothers Grimms for the rest of the leadership campaign.

  76. 76
    Humbug Hater says:

    You lot really are a pack of wolves. Can’t believe the level of your debate. One or two reasonable points here, but most are ignorant, prejudiced rubbish.

  77. 77
    Ed Ball's Mum says:

    No I don’t

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Humbug Hater or whatever it’s name is, is without a shadow of a doubt, a plutonium grade, A1, gold plated f*cking lunatic.

  79. 79
    Ed Balls Dad says:

    I just keep telling myself he must be the postmans its the only way I can cope…

  80. 80
    Stupid Question says:

    Does Anybody Really Like Balls?


  81. 81
    barefootcontessa says:

    Balls is falling.

  82. 82

    Ed always blinks when he looks at me

  83. 83
    The Chequers Flag says:

    Just like General Elections, they rely on the mug punters continuing to stand in line in order to be able to say, “I was there”.
    No matter that they had been short changed by unscruplous showmen taking their money, and then resorting to claims of either “It was all within the rules”, or “It’s the system that’s to blame”.
    But, they’ll queue up for the next Grand Prick that comes along.

  84. 84
    Now Then, Now Then says:

    It’s just an act you know, to let off abit of steam.

    But if you think this is bad then you obviously haven’t been and mixed in wider society recently.

  85. 85
    bergen says:

    There is much in this.Balls is a slimeball but could conceivably”rally the troops”.The Milibands are both charisma-free weirdos.Don’t see either of them enthusing either the core or the floating vote.

  86. 86
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Plenty of ignorant prejudiced rubbish being spouted by Mr “It’s the right thing to do” Ed (just call me arse-wipe, all my friends do) Balls.

  87. 87

    Sunday, 25 July 2010
    Democracy and Bananas
    The big three public sector unions have spoken – GMB, Unite and Unison – or at least their ‘political committees’ have made known their recommendations.

    Ed Miliband is the man they want to be the next Labour leader – in preference to his brother David who is seen as a ‘moderniser’ – and is therefore regarded with deep suspicion by union bosses

    Ed was previously one of Gordon Brown’s inner circle – and is now seen as the only man who can stop brother David from being crowned king of Labour’s castle.

    Two other candidates – Diane Abbott and Ed Balls – are both much closer to the unions in policy terms.

    Particularly Diane Abbott who has always been against the war in Iraq – and has always been in favour of scrapping Trident, Britain’s ‘independent’ nuclear deterrent.

    Diane is also the only candidate who was not a minister in the last disastrous Labour government – and who opposed Gordon Brown’s disgraceful decision to abandon the 10p tax rate.

    Yet despite these impressive credentials Diane has failed to win the backing of the GMB’s, Unite’s or Unison’s political committees – who have all coincidentally declared in favour of the Brother Ed.

    So, now millions of trade union members will be urged to vote – for someone they don’t know – for reasons they don’t understand – and this process will help decide who will be the next leader of the Labour party.

    It really is as crazy as it sounds.

    But the electoral college system was set up for precisely this purpose – to give union bosses and their faceless political committees – undue influence over the Labour party’s internal affairs.

    Most ordinary union members won’t even bother to vote – the great majority of the millions to be balloted – will not take part in the election, and rightly so.

    Yet the unions will still cast collectively one third of the total votes – in Labour’s most important leadership election.

    Now, if that’s democracy – then I’m a banana!
    Posted by Mark Irvine at 00:11

  88. 88
    ellie gellard says:

    . WATCH: Billy Hayes on why he and the CWU are backing @edballsmp – great video. http://www.edballs4labour.org/ #gameON

  89. 89
    What we have always known says:

    I suppose you are right. Sad for those who want the best man to win

    As far as I am concerened ( and Bernie will not be the slightest bothered) F1 exposed itself as corrupt today.

  90. 90
    Humbug Hater says:

    You know nothing whatever about me and yet you come out with this schoolboy claptrap. Your opinion on anything is therefore completely valueless. Incidentally, there is no apostrophe in the possessive form of “its”.

  91. 91
    Yardarm says:

    Ed Bollox was Gordo`s right hand man when devising the financial regulatory framework. Tell me, how well do you think that worked ?

  92. 92
    P. Doff says:

    Anything to do with the thin thread attached at one end to his upper eyelids…
    and at the other to the hand he uses most when mass debating?

  93. 93
    Peter Tatchell says:

    I love salty balls.

  94. 94
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    I fear that young Master Balls will find that the other contenders are frantically trying to avoid receiving his endorsement in exchange for anything.

    I imagine that Mili-D will offer Shadow Paymaster-General in the hope of making him try Mili-E, who will try Shadow Minister for Glue in the hope that Balls will move on to Burnham, who is considering Shadow Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Halitosis in The Regions and Nations. La Abbott will presumably offer High Commissioner for St Helena or Shadow Spokesperson for Socialist Schoolkids in Private Schools.

    The poor chap must be wandering the Palace of Westminster with all the popularity of Blind Pugh on a Black Spot Round.

    Oh dear.

    Does anyone remember what became of Bryan Gould after he lost to that cove Blair?

  95. 95
    Jerry Lee Lewis says:

    I like great balls of fire.

  96. 96

    Men blink when they see me

  97. 97
    Bobbie says:

    Dammit Chegwin! You stole that answer off me!

  98. 98
    ellie swellhard says:

    I can get them so they’re as hard as concrete…..balls I mean.

  99. 99
    Sharp Dressed Man says:

    Is it me, or does there seem to be an increased desperation in the Tory trolls’s frantic panic postings, at the prospect of facing a Milliband across the despatch box, as opposed to Edward Balls?
    After all, If Dave can comprehensively crush Brown, a complete fuckwit of the first order, surely a Milliband can’t present any threat, can he?

  100. 100
    British Citizen says:

    Surely he’s a billy not a tim?

  101. 101
    charles darwin says:

    You can choke my chicken anytime luv.

  102. 102
    Would you like a sucking sweetie says:

    But, but, but…

    Yer a Hunt.

  103. 103
    cocao says:

    Don’t be silly. What are you, the best dressed fucking clown in Jerry Cottles circus?

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    tat will never truly leave Fawkes’ blog. It’s the place where he likes to explore his feminine side, bless him.

  105. 105
    J R Hartley says:

    Please please let be a Milliband. They’re unelectable in the real world – hence the reason they’re sent to South Shields and Doncaster.

    Speech impediments and wonky faces – never done a real days work in their life. Guaranteed Conservative victory in 5 years time.

  106. 106
    Nick Clegg says:

    My wife wanted us to try angry sex.

    Apparently repeatedly shouting “Get the dishes done bitch” during sex wasn’t what she meant.

  107. 107
    Ave O'ter says:

    That’s really funny. Ha ha ha ha ha. Diane Abbott, ha ha ha ha ha.

  108. 108
    Ave O'ter says:

    He’s Mandleson’s Vinagrette

  109. 109
    You all know it's true says:

    Milliband Snr couldn’t even topple mental and disabled Gordon Brown.

    Jellyfish put up more a convincing fight than the Millibands

    Typical J.O.O.S. trying to sneak in through the back door and let other people do all the hard work for them.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    You are Ed Balls and I claim my £5 and my A Grade pass in bullshit !

  111. 111
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Don’t count on it. Never underestimate just how dumb the average Brit is.

  112. 112
    Qui Bono says:

    It seems to me that which ever Milli wins he should tell Balls to go f*ck himself. I would no more want a man like him in the Treasury than Blair wanted Brown and we know how welll that worked out.

  113. 113
    Shootout at the OK coalition says:

    Cameron couldn’t even topple mental and disabled Gordon Brown.
    He’ll sruggle against real opposition, specially with the Lib Dems ready to swap posses for a better looking type of cowboy.

  114. 114
    Yvette says:

    Come to think of it, I don’t like him either.

    What’s to like?

  115. 115
    50 Calibre says:

    Hold not thy breath…

  116. 116
    50 Calibre says:

    It shows on both of you.

  117. 117
    WokinghamChris says:

    “Diane is also the only candidate who was not a minister in the last disastrous Labour government.”


    I take it you have considered why she wasn’t good enough – not even for a disastrous government.

    It has a bearing on her suitability for senior office, you see.

  118. 118
    I only come here for the comments says:

    Fawkes couldn’t afford to lose tat. It’s like Ernie without Eric. Pointless.

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    Surely even Banana Man Millie wouldn’t stoop that low to beat his brother. Or would he?

  120. 120
    Dave says:

    Favourite candidate!

    Blinky’s the best man the Conservative and Unionist Party have got working for them. However, we really don’t like him. We all want to punch him right on the nose, very much, a lot…

  121. 121
    Knuckle Dragger says:

    Least he aint a joo

  122. 122
    50 Calibre says:

    Even he can’t believe he married you…

  123. 123
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Here’s a thing, just imagine if the millitwits are planning to mount a bubble attack! Whereby they offer themselves up as some sort of dream ticket. It’s just the sort of thing that the BBC would go ape-shit with enthusiasm over; two Russian brothers linking arms to fight for the rights of well off socialists, err I mean the WORKING CLASS. Lets face it the labour party have been all about style ever since, well the 1960s really, around about the time that the working class got to a sort of OK level compared with the condition of working class that the labour party was set up to help in the first place. After which the labour party started to look for other reasons, other than to work in opposition to the Tories to justify its existence (which at one time they were extremely effective at, though now that role is more or less the agency of the BBC). Race being amongst the most enduring of those post working class issues, just look at where the scotish monster choice to launch his ‘comeback’! So what we have left of the labour party is this meaningless political entity that has to dress itself up with novel marketing garb to disguise its hollowness, hence ‘New labour’. Now as a piece of dazzling PR the two millibits as leader(s) of the party would be a great eye (media) catching stunt that would not only ensure acres of coverage but would also be a ‘subtle’ copycat of the ever more effective and growing in popularity position of the coalition.

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    I doubt the vast majority of Brits are dumb.LIEbour don’t forget have cronies stuffed everywhere,BBC shills,adolescent bedwetting media,big payroll and underclass vote and have managed to terrify enough Brits (who are buried in debt -so are particularly susceptible to LIEbours doom spiel)into voting for them.Things will change massively by the next election(if the Liberals can hack the pure shitstorm and the evermore shrill LIEbour guilt-trip they will try to induce in them) coming.Tories can hack it because they fully realise the alternative cannot be allowed to happen.

  125. 125
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Ed fuckin Balls, laughed my cock off last night! It still frigging hurts. Must keep a straight face. Prrrrrph. Fsststtststststt, Hrhrhrhrhrh, oh bollox – ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ……

  126. 126
    25 pounder + 10 ton Grand Slam for backup says:

    Even though it would be worth a shot on just one, would much preefer to herd the gang together.

  127. 127
    Chocolate Ear says:

    Chocolate, – the orgasm molecule – but not perhaps in this case.

  128. 128
    The chosen few says:

    He’s worse than that. He’s a British bloodsucking MP, leeching off humanity like the parasitic species they are.

  129. 129
    Steve Expat says:

    Why would he be “back to work” tomorrow?

    He’s done fuck all work on behalf of his constituents since May – and probably not too much for the couple of years he was “saving the world” before that!!

  130. 130
    Steve Expat says:

    He’s every Conservative’s favourite candidate – about as far to the left as Foot and completely unelectable, especially if he carries on opposing each and every cut while offering no solutions to the fat mess he and Broon left us with.

  131. 131
    A Firm Pair Of Balls says:

    Fuck Balls.

  132. 132

    Yes. Charlie Whelan does. And Tom Watson. And Gordon Whatsisname.

    So he’s ALL RIGHT. Treacherous b***ards the lot of them. I hope in 18 years they might understand WHY.

    Btw, Guido, admit it – you have a soft spot for Blair. (And no, not at the bottom of the garden.)

    Go on, it’s not painful to be out of step with the rabid.

  133. 133
    Steve Expat says:

    And I’m sure that the new FIA president – one Jean Todt – will give the red team a perfectly fair and reasonable hearing…

  134. 134
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    FI didn’t expose itself as corrupt today – it’s always been corrupt if you believe it’s anything to do with sport.

    It’s simply a professional entertainment show, filled with well-fed performing animals, ring-mastered by Bernie and choreographed to produce the close season-end result he needs to keep the viewing figures high enough to draw in the advertising bunce. And because the whole circus is nothing without Ferrari, don’t be surprised when things happen like today. Where do you think Simon Cowell got the idea ?

    But the same is now true of all ‘professional sport’ – an oxymoron if ever there was one. They’re all about maximising the cash and nothing to do with honest competitive endeavour, whether that’s athletics, snooker, football, cricket, it’s all ruled by the £ sign, delivered from sponsors, advertisers and the bookies. The result is secondary to the cash-flow.

    Enjoy it for what it is but, if you want real sport now, of any type, then stick with the amateurs to see pure competition unpolluted by cash.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Time for your medication Mr Brown, there’s a good boy.

  136. 136
    AC1 says:

    google “paragraphs”.

  137. 137
    AC1 says:

    He got a credit boom and thus masses of extra taxes…

  138. 138
    Steves mum says:

    Actually the correct phrase in the area she represents and professes to “love” is – she has a face like a slapped arse!

  139. 139
    Obviously not yours says:

    Looking at his expense claims, i rather think he’s fucking you, what?

  140. 140
    The tt tt t t tt ttTurd Man says:

    Cowboy . . ? . . . oohh ducky!

  141. 141
    Kent Walton says:

    Pity then, that spineless Dave is going to have to face the Milliband tag team.
    Who’s the Big Daddy?

  142. 142
    AC1 says:

    Have you heard the name Diana Moon Glampers? Se really worked hard for equality.

  143. 143
    AlJaBeeba handwringing overpaid exec says:

    Sort of . . . like The Bruvvas? An everyday story of a family passionately extolling the virtues of Gordon, and His policies.

    mmmmmmmmmmm . . .sounds wonderful . . .and so positive.


  144. 144
    Paratrooper says:

    A graph utilising parachutes?

  145. 145
    Knuckle Dragger says:

    Fair point well made.

  146. 146
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Ed Balls stands over the mouldering corpse of his leadership campaign, apparently unaware of the stench that carries for a field’s length away. A stinking black fluid leaks from the bulging eyes and mouth of the cadaver and trickles onto the ground. From here, as close as one may safely get, its meandering dark stream, slowly sinking into the earth, appears to form a word: Jonah.

  147. 147
    Knuckle Dragger says:

    With not even the deceny for a reach round.

  148. 148
    Christy says:

    Balls is liebour personified an absolute wheelbarrow of shite.
    The other two geeks beggar belief in imagining that they could carry out the role prospective PM,their backtracking on the policies of McRuin is unbelievable and to me shows up certain failings.
    The unions obviously see their future in a communist environment,which they have been wedded to for years.
    Burnham and Abott are a distraction which is irrelevent the real issue is which of the Millibannanas will be elected as the leader of the liebour party.
    In the course of time the electorate will be asked to choose who they want as a government and given the choice that is on offer I sincerely believe that the british public will choose to reject the liebour party given the mess that they landed this country in through their mismanagement of the economy.

  149. 149
    Guthrum says:

    Not A Lot

  150. 150
    Running scared says:

    But what you sincerely believe, is as relevent to the next few years as Ed Balls’s leadership ambitions.
    Do the Millibands wake you in the night, drenched in cold sweat?

  151. 151
    Mission Control says:

    Hello, Houston? Dave, we have a problem.

  152. 152
    Indigo says:

    Now I’ve heard everything – Fiona McTaggart on R4 “World Tonight” just now, asserting that the Coalition is preventing Labour being the Opposition – coming up with Opposition proposals to things like sorting out the economy – by being the Opposition as well as the Government. Ie the Tories and LibDems have been so long in Opposition that they can’t stop acting also as the Opposition, and that’s why the Labour party is not able to be the Opposition. According to Ms McT. Fathead.

    Nope, it is the BBC that is acting as the Opposition.

  153. 153
    Keith Chegwin says:

    Along with Maggie Philbin’s heart

  154. 154
    Peter Grimes says:

    Yeah, I tell them they smell and need a shower and to take their fucking hands off my dick!

  155. 155
    Gillian Duffy says:

    Not this bigotted woman

    David Milliband is intelligent, very intelligent but also down to earth unlike that buffooon who was there before.

  156. 156
    John Rebus says:

    Shame she does not take after her father, Jim, who was very sensible and down to earth and able to deal with thieving scum. He must be really disappointed in his son.

  157. 157
    PaXO (Who would like to stuff her ....... say no more) says:

    Why does England, mother of parliaments, gets munters whereas the US gets this GILF?

  158. 158
    PaXO says:

    The boom got boomier?

  159. 159
    Disunite says:

    just give me the mallet I ‘ll show you how we like his balls…how flat is flat these days charlie ?

  160. 160
    Kenny says:

    Chocolate Salty Balls?

  161. 161
    Gordon is a mincer says:

    Everyone thought Ed was gay until he got together with Yvette. Some sort of gay Labour Cabal around Gordon? Stephen Twigg said Ed used to go to a gay club in East London, Stratford I think. Another malevolent secretive puff.

  162. 162
    Disunite says:

    bet you think about your tongue being back at home deep up gordon’s crack rim licking for all those years at the treasury then marrying that slag yvette ‘gormless look’ for it all to end shuffling round scruffy schools touching up tea ladies..sad git…give up mate its a dead duck.

  163. 163
    Disunite says:

    he is a complete tosser…and should be ejaculated publicly.

  164. 164
    bowledover says:

    can I have a tortoise sandwich please no crackling thanks

  165. 165
    bowledover says:

    ‘cos shes a moose innit..and we like shagging mooses

  166. 166
    Tit says:

    f1 has been boring for years …when they got faster they found their own level now everything is too controlled…let them on the circuit stand well back and let ‘em go for fucks sake.

  167. 167
    Tit says:

    what about shits

  168. 168
    Titless says:

    bring any of ‘em on matey bubblebath and the cameroonian 11 will bat ‘em round the park all day long

  169. 169
    Fromtheheart says:

    of course he was …you don’t blink like that for nothing.

  170. 170
    Fromtheheart says:

    used to take it up the chuff until gordon got sarah and he got slack alice and a rubber glove.

  171. 171
    Mr and Mrs 'Satisfied' from Essex says:

    Couldn’t someone just put him in a black binbag and leave him out for the unite members to collect but leave it someone obscure anyway just in case they do.

  172. 172
    BrokeBack Cameron says:

    I’m the only gay in the westminster village now.

  173. 173
    Heir to Blair says:

    He’s spineless wet and unprincpled.

    Just like the other two Blair cllones Dave and Nick. So he’s got Blair down to a tee.

  174. 174
    David Laws says:

    I love a pair of balls!

  175. 175
    Milibland Bros says:

    We have the Dull factor.

  176. 176
    Shite says:

    It’s Alex Higgins funeral tomorrow – he’s being buried in a cue case.

    “Tony Blair Faith Foundation” WTF! The greedy subhuman cu-nt is donating the $100,000 the American tards gave him (in more pretend peace prizes for slaughtering innocent civilians) to himself.

    Look at the face of evil greed on Earth:

  177. 177
    Shite says:

    It’s Alex Higgins funeral tomorrow – he’s being buried in a cue case.

    “Tony Blair Faith Fou-ndation” WTF! The greedy subhuman c-u-nt is donating the $100,000 the American ta-rds gave him (in more pretend pe-ace prizes for slau-ghte-ring innocent civilians) to himself.

    Look at the face of e-vil greed on Earth:

  178. 178
    Afghanistan war logs: Story behind biggest leak in intelligence history says:

    From US military computers to a cafe in Brussels, how thousands of classified papers found their way to online activists

    US authorities have known for weeks that they have suffered a haemorrhage of secret information on a scale which makes even the leaking of the Pentagon Papers during the Vietnam war look limited by comparison.

    The Afghan war logs, from which the Guardian reports today, consist of 92,201 internal records of actions by the US military in Afghanistan between January 2004 and December 2009 – threat reports from intelligence agencies, plans and accounts of coalition operations, descriptions of enemy attacks and roadside bombs, records of meetings with local politicians, most of them classified secret

    The Guardian’s source for these is Wikileaks, the website which specialises in publishing untraceable material from whistleblowers, which is simultaneously publishing raw material from the logs.

    Washington fears it may have lost even more highly sensitive material including an archive of tens of thousands of cable messages sent by US embassies around the world, reflecting arms deals, trade talks, secret meetings and uncensored opinion of other governments.

    Wikileaks’ founder, Julian Assange, says that in the last two months they have received yet another huge batch of “high-quality material” from military sources


  179. 179
    orange_underpants says:

    I’m too keen on balls, but I like eggs.

  180. 180
    THE_FORCE says:

    I’d rather have some scrambled eggs on toast.

  181. 181
    Standards please says:

    An A is nothing, we had to introduce A*’s to split 25% to 30% marks

  182. 182
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:

    A coalition of all the non-talents?

    It just might work!

  183. 183
    Speed Camera says:

    An interesting dropped bollock there, thanks for the heads up!

  184. 184
    Speed Camera says:

    A fuckin Legend!

  185. 185
    Mandy & Blair (Laughing all the way to the bank) says:

    We sold our books and made millions of you c’unts, hahahahha fuck you all you arseholes!

  186. 186
    M says:

    I’ve supported Labour since Attlee and I’m losing the power of cognition. But I know enough to know that Balls is a first class tit.

  187. 187
    If they're old enough to bleed... says:

    I’ve always found Yvette Cooper to have strange sexual charm in a rather androgenous way. I wouldn’t chuck her out of bed on a dark night after a couple of pints. Well maybe 4 or 5. Possibly six or more…

    Mind you I’m not too fussy, but she would make a good chancellor, come and suck on this sweety, suck the magic lollipop it spits!

  188. 188

    Pickles, of course – he has been in the HoC gym practicing the ‘Splash’ ready for the tag team match with the Bumbling Barmitzvah Brothers.

  189. 189

    Since FIA is the acronym for ‘Ferrari International Assistance’, I think you may be right.

    Good to see Massa making it blatant though – I’d have refused to go back on the podium with Alonso and Domenicali if I’d been him.

  190. 190

    Depends on the context, old man.

    For instance – ‘Humbug Hater may be erudite, but the shit’s politics appear suspect.

  191. 191
    albacore says:

    Oh joy!
    Summer’s here and the time is right for – all the dumb kids to kick toy balls around the neighbourhood again because they can’t conceive of ought else to divert their attention.

  192. 192
    Dangerous Climate Change (DCC) (© H.Benn) says:

    The boob job didn’t work out too well.

  193. 193
    Lord Fawkes of Gunpowder says:

    At this point he’d be lucky to finish high enough in the Shadow Cabinet election guarantee himself a seat.

  194. 194
    The Nosey Mole says:

    As some wag in the Daily Telegraph put a few weeks ago:

    “In ancient times the Greeks and Romans had Heracles, Pericles, Damocles and all we have got is Testicles”

    I really wish I had thought of this one!!!!

  195. 195
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Euripides Testicles off.

  196. 196
    Can’t remember my moniker says:


  197. 197
    Tapestry says:

    we had that one at school fifty years ago. euripides eumenides. etc

    if balls backs lisbon-swindler miliband d, that’s the end of his leadership hopes. the jonah factor was inherited by loadof.

  198. 198
    Bob says:

    Good piece Ape Man

    Interesting to note that the Millis are Tribal as well…their own Tribe…

    Labour has become a party of narrow sectional interests

    Scottish Catholics, some Welsh and northern English sheep shaggers, plenty of Hampsteads and Primrose Hillers…plus some ethics to make a little curry…

    Labour, in fact, is no longer a national party…

  199. 199
    Bob says:


    WIll you give us permission to hunt the TaliBrowners please…?

    Far better fun than fox hunting…

  200. 200
    Bob says:

    Testicules ..please…

    So much more expressive…

  201. 201
    Yvette says:

    Oh I love my testicules…

  202. 202
    Bob says:

    The real face of New Labour

    Greed, immorality, misappropriation of funds, fraud, Ponzi schemes, raping Britain, compulsive lying,…

    Selling Sterling short…

    What other disgaces can they come up with ?

  203. 203
    Bob says:

    The new boobs gave the Tea Party a collective orgasm…

  204. 204
    Polly Twaddle from Tuscany says:

    Oh…are you talking about me???


  205. 205
    Yvette says:

    I do! Balls, just putty in my hands.

  206. 206
    Friends of Yvette says:

    How can you say that?

  207. 207
    Jacqui's husband says:

    Totally agree

  208. 208
    Balls says:

    I wish

  209. 209
    Mr Ned says:

    The sad part is, that they have not been a national party for decades.

    New labour was never a national party, but a party of minority tribes.

    Instead of ruling for the good of the nation, labour desperately rushed through polices to turn this one nation into a patchwork of minorities which resembled labour.

    It was a grotesque experiment in social vandalism based entirely on narrow party interests.

    The coalition ought to strip out all the extremist politically correct bullshit enshrined in law by labour and allow people to have the freedom of their own opinions.

  210. 210
    Swamp Creature says:

    Maybe not, Yvette, but I’ll bet you’ve had a few half-decent cormorants, eh?

  211. 211
    I hate New Labour says:

    And now we know why Brown shied away from a leadership contest…

    I wonder if Millipede laments on his one and only chance to be PM, that he passed on due to cowardice?

  212. 212
    Rubinho says:

    That said, the A-Ring is a nice track. Good to see it back on the calendar.

  213. 213
    Sir Barrington Minge says:


    Why do we even bother with this complete waste of space?

    Ed Balls is living proof that if you try to polish a turd you are left with…well, a turd!!

  214. 214
    Backwoodsman says:

    notwithstanding, the boy done good.

  215. 215
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Maybe Bob, but we have no record of Herucles, Perucles or Damucles.

  216. 216
    FAKE ALERT!!!! says:


  217. 217
    Hiram Holiday says:

    Sadly,man from the AW shortlist, you forget that it was the Tory governments of the 80s and early 90s who made poly’s and tech colleges into bogus universities.

    I say this as a ex-uni teacher who is extremely angry about what Labour did to every aspect of our country.

    It was Thatcher who took the authority to set standards away from the principal university examination boards and gave that authority to a bunch of spivs who manage profit making quangos.

    All politicians are lying hoons – some have a little more charm than others.

    The NHS should be run by doctors and nurses. Education should be run by teachers and examiners. The armed forces should be commanded by leaders – not by the slippery politicians in uniform that we see now.

    However, this will never happen because our society is controlled by parasitic viruses who inhabit the cess pit of Parliament. A plague on all of them – hanging is too good!

  218. 218

    […] on Sunday he asked- Does Anybody really like Balls?’ A little superfluous, even rhetorical. Still, to prove Guido is not as daft as most of his dullard […]

  219. 219
    Colonel Blimp says:

    .and universal approval from the tribes.

  220. 220
    Colonel Blimp says:

    @Hiram Holiday:
    An ex-uni teacher who does not know that an apostrophe is absolutely not correct in a non-possessive plural – “poly’s” – indeed. :=(
    No wonder the young are so ignorant.

  221. 221
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Spurt, spurt – “Is that far enough, Nurse?”

  222. 222
    Colonel Blimp says:


  223. 223
    Colonel Blimp says:

    I blame the mohel.

  224. 224
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Ed is the humanoid version of the Winky-Wanky bird.
    “The Winky-Wanky Bird:-

    The nervous system of this unusual bird has crossed over the links between his eyelids and his prick.
    So, every time he winks, he wanks, and every time he wanks, he winks.
    Hey kid! Stop throwing sand in his eye! “

  225. 225
    Tessa Munt MP says:

    Oi! Are you talking about me? I’m on TV these days y’know, goodn for my image; anyway, off on holiday now for a monthn or two.

  226. 226
    I Fucking Loathe Tesco says:

    Everything Brown EVER said was a lie, apart from Mandelscum being a piece of shit. He wasn’t wrong on that count.

  227. 227
    All Lib Dems are tossers says:

    And no again – thrice no – NO!

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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