Bercow’s Mother of All Planning Applications
Speaker Bercow had his spinners in overdrive when he announced that Bellamy’s bar on the Parliamentary Estate would be turned in to a crèche for MPs and staffers’ kids. This is despite the fact the bar was gutted in 2007 and spruced up at the cost of nearly half-a-million to the taxpayer. The new project is now set to cost another £400k.
The bar has been shut and preliminary work has begun. There is just one problem. Last night Westminster City Council decided that perhaps trying to get prams and buggies up the stairs of One Parliament Street wasn’t the greatest idea and that there are more appropriate locations on the estate. The planning committee have deferred the application, delaying the project even further, at even more expense. Surveyors will be going in to see what’s going on, though Guido’s rubber-stamping co-conspirator thinks the Speaker may end up with egg on his face with this one.
We’re all wasting money together.
There must have been a private consultant involved (AKA Lobbying agent) to get an officer to recommend approval.
Go find the culprit Guido!
Bercow didn’t even know how many questions Straw had asked so how does anyone expect him to be able to do the accounts or run a fucking creche?
he’s probably better at running a creche tha being speaker though
Well create a crèche anywhere on the estate quickly and then fucking Bercow can be kept in it all day long.
Put the crèche in the Speaker’s large house
It is far too good for the current occupants
Sorry, your paywall will only let me read for 0.3 of a second before trying to ponce dosh.
It’s a shame the preening shite allowed Straw any questions.
Keep the creche, will be useful if Boris ever becomes PM.
quality!
I thought parliament _was_ a creche for dysfunctional individuals?
You don’t honestly think Bercow is a Conservative anymore do you? Thanks to Sally fish bucket, he is now a fully paid up member of Lieber – and they’re welcome to him. MP’s should have a vote if confidence/no confidence in the little sod and hopefully get rid of him.
So they might have to look for a new place for Gordon’s nappy changing facilities?
Why bother to refurbish it? If MPs want their kids to become MPs they may as well teach them to drink as early as possible.
No, it needs to be an embezzlement, corruption, conspiracy, collusion, fraud and potty training room.
Right next door to the OGC (Office of Govermnent Commerce) sounds about right to me.
And to lie as early as possible!
Put the crèche in the Speaker’s House
Simples
Why mod the idea of putting the creche in the Speaker’s House FFS?
Is this ‘creche’ a cover story to enable those MP’s who want to sleep in their offices to be ‘spoon fed’ a sleeping bunk for the night? Sounds like a dual purpose building application……….. babies during the day and those sucking on the taxpayer’s ‘tit’ by night.
A creche for MPs is probably an excellent idea, given that some of them are barely out of nappies.
One less bar on the Pariamentary estate is also a step forward.
I genuinely don’t mean to sound like a twat but Jo Swinson was just on the DP and I genuinely didn’t take a single word of it in. Teenagers doing an adults job – cripes! And that Chakka fella still to do his GCSEs apparently.
Bercow… what a moby. Egg on his face? I hope he gets covered.
More likely semen than egg. The question is whose?
B(r)er Cow is a well known trickster who succeeds through luck tweaking authorithy (aurorithA!?) figures and bending social mores.
Will the state be paying for all businesses to have facilities like this? No? Well then they can fuck right off
Nah!
It’ll be re-categorised, possibly as an ‘edyerkashunal’ establishment.
That way :
a. the sprogs will be learned to ‘drink sensibly’ and fill in ‘drinking diaries’ and do other mindless PC ‘elf bollocks.
b. the ‘adults’ will get subsidised booze (in tea cups – a la prohibition) while attending, for instance Temporance Lekchars.
c. everyone – ‘happy’ – a la the Socialist Paradise.
No need to worry about access. £ millions will be forthcoming to build ramps, raise / lower levels, install elevators / lifts.
Meanwhile, – don’t plan on getting a free beer your self – unless you’re one of the toff / twat class.
that’s the loony lefty libcons for you
Call me an innocent but I was under the impression that our MP’s were working ever so hard on our behalf, so how can they spend hours on end knocking back the booze, if that is the case who is doing he work?
Simples!
Suggest the Classic Reply fits here – ‘It helps me think / relax / plan / be creative’
Hooray for accessibility!!!
Leave the buggies and prams in a room downstairs, fit a Stair lift with a basket attached for sprogs.
Hey-fucking-presto.
What about a chute, straight out into the Thames?
Expect that amazingly loopy bint Sally B to be launching into this in a big way. Bellyaching about how ‘unfair’ it all is. Boo fucking Hoo.
WTF did these people do before creches became de rigeur?
Still, Mrs B has not only her child-minder but her child-minder’s husband living with her at our expense. Nothing too good for the workers, eh?
How many non-state employers provide these facilities?
How many could afford to?
The stupid bitch sholud be employed as a comfort worker for the over 60′s.
Peter Sutcliffe could do community service with her.
The location’s completely unsuitable for getting prams and buggies in. It’s up a long flight of winding stairs, and the alternative lift is tiny – far too small to safely take them. The corridor leading to the creche/bar is very narrow too – no way prams could pass each other, especially when they get to the door and would have to squeeze round it to open the door…
One better location might be the Stranger’s Bar, which is open only to MP’s. This is on the ground floor, and just off a wide corridor for easy access.
Or would they rather take the only perk away from staff instead of themselves, creating something that’s utterly useless in the process?
Why don’t they just purchase a barge or prison ship, moor it next to the riverside terrace?
It could have all the specs it needs and ramped next to the workplace. Simple.
Pork Scratchings and a few stubby bottles of Schweinfurter Pils. Just the stuff for growing young troughers.
It seems it’s only on here that Bercow’s (recent) interruptions on PMQ’s are mentioned.
Maybe he thinks by bending over backwards, he comes across as ‘even handed’. That’s an interpretation, what it seems like is that he has allowed Brown to get away with murder, while being petty with Cameron and Clegg. He’s so bad be makes Michael Martin seem impartial by comparison.
His other behaviour mentioned above just shows how out of touch he is, where’s the austerity drive at the Commons? Where is there financial prudence – or even common sense? Just like Lord “B&Q’ Derry (among many others), he lives in a well paid bubble and has no idea (which is the worst part) of how ignorant of the opinions of people he is well paid to serve is.
Well said, sir. Hope your knee improves swiftly.
since it means MPs coiuld have regular contact with children I take it they will all be CRB checked and any that do not pass exposed?
I assume the Speaker needs somewhere to dump his own sprogs while his fragrant wife goes off campaigning for Labour.
I do see a danger however. Being vertically challenged and after his recent infantile pronouncements in the house, the creche staff may not let him out again until a grown up arrives to collect him
Alex Salmond has a yellow beer belly.
http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/politics/fury-at-salmond-senate-snub-1.1043168
the yanks can go fuck themselves
where were they in 1940 according to Dave?
What were the SNP up to in 1940?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article587207.ece
What was yank idiot in chief George W. Bush’s grandad and George Bush’s dad up to in 1940?
How Bush’s grandfather helped Hitler’s rise to power
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/sep/25/usa.secondworldwar
SNP=Quislings.Yesterday,today and tomorrow.
yanks=Thick Warcriminals.Yesterday,today and tomorrow.
Salmond may be an odious little turd but at least he has the guts to stand up to US and point out its none of their business rather than grovelling in awe of them like both TB & DC have done
even funnier is the fact that McCain and other US senators were lobbying Gadaffi in Libya for Exxon right up until Megrahi’s release
so why haven’t they been called ?
was the walk across the capitol too much for them ?
Slugs don’t walk.
http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/1834237
Retards fall on their arse.
Stupid Yanks talk shit.
“Indeed, while politicians and senior administration officials were expressing dismay early last week at the release of a convicted terrorist, a congressional delegation led by Senator John McCain, the former Republican presidential candidate, was in Libya.
McCain reported on Tuesday via Twitter, the instant internet messaging site, that he had met Gadaffi, whom he described as “an interesting man”. McCain was reported by the Libyan news agency to have praised Gadaffi’s peace-making efforts in Africa and to have called for expanded US ties with Libya. Exxon and Chevron, the American oil giants, are among companies vying for lucrative new exploration contracts.”
It is their business. It was their plane and their citizens
and they framed Megrahi as the appeal would have shown
and they shot down the Iranian plane which caused the retaliation for which the wrong man was jailed
Mrs Bercows experience of removing sticky gloop from her face should come in handy
So should Mr Bercow’s if the stories are true.
You should ask a former labour minster for details
Is this boozer named after David Bellamy, the convivial environmentalist, or Craig Bellamy, a professional footballer noted as a selfless ‘team player’? Either would seem appropriate.
Will there be a rocking horse Mr Speaker?
It’s not like they’ll be walking miles in to work to save on their expenses, so… carry the kid? Or get them to walk up the stairs? Just a thought.
They will want a Bukkake room next.
Fuck sake , who the fuck takes there kids to work with them ? Let the motherfuckers live like the rest of us .
My business up 1.1% in Q2 so I’m going
to get a creche.
Anuver guvermunt contrakt vat camerun az fucked up for uz ard wurkin bilders
A uzed te make lords o munny from hedukayshun contrak’s azwell
befor vis lot gor in !
Why not put the crèche in the Speakers House itself..??
Plenty of room there…
And far too big and good for the Turncoat Dwarf and his London Undergound wife…
What do they need a creche for
90% of them are gay ?
It will in fact be a centre for artifical insemination (of members’ secretaries you see)
But they do not want to call it that before they get planning…
Who will be appointed Chief of the Crèche ?
Y fronts Bryant ?
Ladyboy Balls ?
If the children will undertake a criminal background check and sign an agreement that they will not ask me any difficult questions then I will apply for the job since the IMF just laughed at me for ten minutes then hung up when I said I could do for the world economy what I did for the British economy (if they would pay me at least $500,000 pa plus expenses).
500,000 zambabwian dollars a year seems about right for Gordon’s skill level.
At least Gordon can use it
To change his own nappy !
Who takes the initial decision in deciding where to put this crèche before it goes to planning ?
Do MPs decide ?
Of have they resigned that responsibility as well ?
useless f’ckers…
Remeber its OUR money not mps money
Hng on a cotten picking moment , Why the fuck has the speaker got spinners ? He is the fucking speaker not a minster , Unless he pays for it out of his own money ?
Modded ?
Put all the Labour Moos on the pill and the the Labour Bulls given the snip. That should save a few Bob.
Bercow must be got rid off
I’ve been saying that for ages now g.f.m. Why don’t they do something about this arrogant, deluded, pretentious little shite? AND he and his wife, old fish bucket, will be awarded peerages after. Can you believe it? {I’ll probably be modded again, but am now getting used to it!].
Modding beens a bit mad today , Squeaker and his slag are just as bad as martin , Bring back Betty
The gutless MPs had their chance to kick out Bercow when the new parliamentary session first sat. They all wimped and kept him in. Now they have to suffer with him until he retires, or someone like Nigel Farage comes along and challenges his seat again.
The Tories especially can listen to Bercow helping Labour every PMQs, only themselves to blame.
i like the country cottage look
Bercow and his slapper of a wife need to retire to the country. Preferably not this one.
Excellent. All of us in the real world have problems with planning, it will do the MPs good to have another taste of the real world.
But will they? Will Westminster “village” come under cranky dave’s new planning guidance? i.e. “villages” will be left to their own devices re planning. Nice little earner there. Modded yesterday for inferring that the “Big Society” might be little more than a cover for developers, lets see what happens today???
Why all this fuss over a crèche? As Ewanme would doubtless say: car crèches can happen anywhere. Right hun xx?
While obviously the execution of this scheme has been botched, it should be pointed out that the basic idea of a creche at Westminister is a good idea. I’m as liberatarian as the next man, but the one thing that I think would make the world a better place would be for more places of work to have creches. It would make having kids and working SO much easier and if Westminister set the example, others might follow.
I reckon he wants a creche as the furniture size will be more appropriate to his dimensions.
This is Sally Slapper’s personal project….which is why it is so ill-thought out.
She was waiting for it to coming into being, before taking credit.
She is as shameless as back-street shagger…..er, oh no, hang on a minute…
The barmy dwarf would be better in the creche with children – on second thoughts…
Bercow is a silly fucker, isn’t he?