July 20th, 2010

53% Don’t Care About Labour Leader

A YouGov poll seen by Paul Waugh has the “I don’t care” block dominating the Labour leadership vote. Over half of people polled do not have a preferred candidate. David Miliband is in second with 22%, with Diane Abbott behind him on 11%, followed by the Younger Miliband on 9%. Ed Balls, for all the fluster, media appearances and rehabilitation has scraped the support of just 3% of voters. Andy Burnham is bringing up the rear with just 2%. While this is the wider public, they will be the ones deciding at real elections, rather than internal battles.Things change when the poll is broken down to just Labour voters with David up to 29%, Balls 13% and Ed Miliband on 12%. The same order as the donation rankings, funnily enough.


162 Comments

  1. 1

    3%? That’d be Ed, Yvette and Damien then.

    Like

    • 11
      Dick the Prick says:

      Steady on TT, if those 3 were voting it’d be at least 12% – tricks of the trade dontcha know?

      I think I do care a little bit which is quite strange. I guess the better candidate would probably be young Ed but he’s in no way a proper contender. They really are very lightweight candidates. If I were a Labour gimp, i’d be quite upset. Whatever Brown’s infinite number of faults, he did have (shit) experience. D Millipede fucked the FCO, Balls is just so weak, Burnham looks sounds like a telesales kid and Abbott is just thick. Poor, poor show.

      Like

      • 19
        Anonymous says:

        Its fantastic isn’t it?

        You couldn’t pick a more despicable bunch of Hunts if you tried.

        Like

        • 42
          Yorkie (with his hand up) says:

          Completely agree…David Milliband is being reported today describing the release of Al Megrahi as “clearly wrong”! Milliband’s arrogance is breath taking.

          Like

      • 20
        Pick a Blair! any Blair says:

        why would they care?
        there’s already two Blair clones as Party Leaders so a third will make no difference

        Like

      • 132
        Hugh Janus says:

        The whole problem is that they are not real people. Since there aren’t any of those in NuLiebour anyway the whole thing is academic, as they will be on the margins of British politics for rather a long time.

        Like

      • 139

        DtP, agreed and for the simple reason that rower corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It is vital for “Dave” and Nicky to have someone credible leading the opposition, and that will not eb any of the current contenders. Oddly enough if the Tories had managed 15/20 more seats and Nick’s wave hadn’t crested on the reef rather than hit the shore running he’d have made a much more useful leader of the opposition than any Labourite. I thought that in the latter days of Colditz his questions to Gordon were very good.

        Like

    • 49
      Engineer says:

      53% of the public don’t care? I’m surprised – I’d have put it nearer 90%.

      Labour are irrelevant until 2014, and hopefully after that, as well. The public look at the Labour leadership candidates and see former cabinet ministers now doing spectacular U-turns (and Diane Abbott being a loony lefty). The public want their country mended, their economy improved, and a whole raft of other things done, and they are prepared to give the Coalition the benefit of the doubt for now. So – Labour are irrelevant, whoever leads them, and their convoluted leadership campaign of no interest.

      Like

    • 57

      Alan Davis has an audio clip on his radio show for England youth football coach Stuart Pearce.
      He calls out “What do you think Stu?” and then plays the track of a dog barking..

      Next time you see Ed Balls on TV turn the sound off and just imagine the sound of a big bouncy dog.

      Brillo says ..
      “Mr Balls, you were a bit of a bully weren’t you?”
      {woof..wooof..grrrrr…grrrr..}.
      “And Mr Balls, on immigration you have done a complete U-turn”
      {woof..woof woof..my position is clear ..grrr..rawlf!}
      The Brillo tosses him a bone about Tory cuts or something and off he races with it..

      “here boy!..Get the Toriesl…come on..{woof..woof woof..} stop running in circles you silly thing..come on Mr Balls..sit! Sit on the sofa! .. { woof woof.}.that’s good. Good boy..Now about needing CRB checks for parents to pick kids up from school…{Rhaaa! Grahhh! Woof woof wo wo wow wo wooo Woof! [pant, pant] Woof!} ..where’s he going?”

      {woof woof woof.. howl..}
      He’s run off Anita…run off at the mouth.
      You were lucky none of that mouth foam got on your blouse..

      Like

    • 67
      Up sht1t creek says:

      I don’t care, but the Labour party have made up their mind, it will be a Miliband.

      Like

    • 78
      Ladyboy Yvette says:

      Count me out chum..

      Ellie is his “girl” now…

      Like

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m still here. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think.

    Like

  3. 3
    SpAd says:

    Were there any comparable polls in 2005 Tory leadership though? Seems they only looked at Party Members

    Like

    • 59
      Stupid Sanctimonious Dwarf says:

      Still no replies? Were you one of those nerdy kids at school nobody spoke to?

      Like

  4. 4
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I be prime minister again please?

    Like

    • 55
      Sarah says:

      Can I be a Lesbian again please ?

      Like

    • 60

      They both can.. Just need to give Gordon a ‘Better Than life’ implant and Sarah can do as she pleases while Gordon is immersed in his fantasy world..

      “Admiral Rimmer… Prime minister Brown requests the pleasure of your company at his table. The pope and Obama and Bono and the Krankies are already seated..”

      He may not even need the implant.

      Like

  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a fucking gutless mentalist. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think. I take responsibility for all my mistakes. Whose idea was that? Sue’s, I think.

    Like

  6. 6
    Fu**ed off says:

    Burnham appears to be the least offensive. No wonder he is coming last in the race, those Labour types really know what they’re doing.

    Like

    • 80
      Alan Philip Bongg says:

      He got a good reception at Hillsborough and got on well with Joanna Lumley I think. Leadership material for the Labour Party no doubt.

      Like

    • 120
      Caligula says:

      Guido

      Can you please organise one, last Rave Party….?

      For the Zanu leadership candidates

      And for Kim Il Jong, Mad Hattie, Thuggie, Trousers, Toilets, Alky Al, Grinning Ape, Snotgob and Toenails and all the merry band…

      I would love to see them all freaking out togther, finally….

      Like

  7. 7
    Fu**ed off says:

    “Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill has said questions being asked about the Lockerbie bomber are matters for the UK government.”

    Passing the buck, it’s what UK politicians do best.

    Like

  8. 8
    Desperate Dan says:

    They only voted “Don’t Care” because there wasn’t a “None of the Above” option.

    Like

    • 156
      Aunt Aggie says:

      Stop playing with that computer Dan and eat up your cow pie. Dippy Gordon will be here soon to play with your crayons.

      Like

  9. 9
    Oleaginous Al says:

    Alan Duncan just made himself look like an oily little turd on DP defeding the brilliance of supporting the Afghan drug cartels with pallets of taxpayers cash and sending 300 million to India.

    Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

    Like

    • 46
      Lord Grytpype-thynne but thinking of leaving the House of Lords to stay non-dom says:

      Al, there is a very good teason that Duncan looked like an oily little turd…it’s the obvious one

      Like

  10. 10
    Balls, Balls, Balls! says:

    Guido, there MUST be a campaign started to have Balls elected as leader.

    This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get the c’unt to the top of the Labour tree.

    Like

  11. 12
    freedommyarse says:

    Because they’re all sh*t, imagine any one of those idiots as a leader, the reason people don’t care anymore is labour in my eyes is dead forever.

    They lied lied lied then lied some more, they intruded in all our lives with their petty bullsh*t, well f**k you labour i’ll live my life how i want.

    As regards to this condem crap well its just the tories again, so prepare for a crap NHS even crappier public transport, higher taxes when we already pay stupid amounts of tax, crumbling schools, a decimated armed forces (even worse than under labour) less police (not good considering all these cuts are going to lead to mass civil unrest)

    Summer 2011 summer of discontent. I might see if the bookies will let me bet on it.

    Like

    • 34
      AC1 says:

      labour i’ll live my life how i want.

      So get rid of the NHS; a wedge for bureaucrats to control what you do.
      So get rid of the State School a wedge for bureaucrats to indoctrinate your kids.

      Like

    • 36
      Dick the Prick says:

      I think you’d be surprised at how institutionally Labour a lot of these bullshit public sector fake departments really are. I’m loving the fact that Gove & Lansley are taking on the vested interests (even though Lansley’s reforms are half arsed, unlikely to be adopted and uncosted) but it still puts rockets up the indolent arses of fake civil servants, teachers, food nutrionists and other wannabee medics/nurses.

      Local government should be the next line of attack. Pickles is being a bit canny as the vested interests in this are a bit more political and need to be sorted out with local Tory party dudes but I’ve got my fingers crossed that we’ll start downscaling social services and safeguarding nonsense – why the hell should the state regulate kiddies – if the parents want to kill them then so be it. There doesn’t need to be multi agency response to the fact that the parents are uberchav and should have voluntarily executed themselves. Nobody needs libraries anymore as we’ve the interweb. Parks could be voluntary schemes – community common ground shit.

      I’ve been thinking about it for a while but i’d be quite happy ending local government – not sure there’s any 21st century need for it – throwback to the late 19th really. Sure, bit flippant but it’d be amusing.

      Like

      • 147
        yalleriron says:

        Frankly, you’re pissing in the wind if you think that Pickles or anyone else is going to do a lot about “local government”. Most of the councils and counties in the south and east and some west are Tory. They are stuffed with placemen all drawing down enormous allowances for doing bugger all. In Suffolk our ex-banker Tory “leader” of the council decided it would be cracking value to pay some old cow discarded after reorganisation in Bedfordshire at least £220k p.a plus pensions and all the pork pies she can eat.

        Perhaps you heard the Tory twat in Barnet on the radio, who thinks he’s worth a pay rise of about 20%.

        Can’t see these sorts of gravy trains derailed and apple carts upset.

        Mind you, with all this “localism” crap and councillors convincing themselves that they’re really important in cutting services etc., I CAN see them awarding themselves mega pay rises.

        Like

    • 38
      MI7 says:

      a friend of mine is an IT programmer and recently did some contract work for a police station. while he was there the police had a ex sas guy who is now a private security conultant. they were seeking his advice on how to handle large civil unrest. they got him in because he had been in iraq when it all kicked off and had first hand experience on how to deal with crowd control.

      i’m not saying we will be like bagdhad but the police and government are expecting mass riots over the coming years. one area in particular they have ear marked for trouble is luton, possibly because of racial tensions with muslims.

      Like

      • 107
        Lil Olmey says:

        Perhaps the police would care to explain who exactly they are working for.
        I was brought up believing (naively, it would seem) that the police exist to serve the public by catching the bad guys.
        These days all they seem to do is persecute the good guys while ignoring all the real crime.
        Even worse, a large chunk of council tax goes to pay them so that they can continue making our lives hell.
        If there are indeed riots then the police will be to blame in no small measure.

        Like

      • 110
        Anonymous says:

        Good. It’s been brewing nicely for a while now.

        Like

  12. 14
    Eight votes for rhubarb says:

    BREAKING NEWS
    Paul the Octopus has picked a bag of horse-shit with a red rosette as the next Leader of the Labour Party.

    Like

    • 17
      Duane Higgs-Boson says:

      I didn’t think Gordon was standing.

      Like

    • 40
      Engineer says:

      No change from the last thirty years, then.

      Like

    • 51
      Typical Labour voter filled with class hatred says:

      My granny voted for Labour so I will too.

      Like

      • 136
        Recent immigrant with a postal vote says:

        I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and…

        Like

        • 137
          Recent immigrant's cousin with a postal vote says:

          I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and…

          Like

          • Recent immigrant's uncle with a postal vote says:

            I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and I’ve voted Labour and…

            Like

  13. 16
    Mugwump says:

    A pox on the lot of them. Liars, hypocrites, and thieves, one and all. Standing for Office!!? The only place these these bastards should be standing is in the Dock at the Old Bailey.

    Like

  14. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Liars, hypocrites, and thieves – the new Condem Goverment!

    Like

  15. 22
    Labour Voters...not the sharpest tools in the box says:

    David ‘I Love Torture’ Milliband lol

    How will Labour argue against the B&P if they vote that nob in.

    Like

    • 31
      Torture inquiry judge urged to quit over bias claims says:

      “The judge probing torture claims against the security services is facing calls to disqualify himself from the investigation.
      A human rights group said Sir Peter Gibson’s links to intelligence chiefs meant he should be a witness to the inquiry rather than its chairman.
      It claimed the High Court judge’s previous posting as the official watchdog over the security services had made him too close to agents, ministers and officials.
      David Cameron set up the inquiry earlier this month to discover whether MI5 and MI6 turned a blind eye to the abuse of terrorist suspects in U.S. custody.
      But campaign group Reprieve said that Sir Peter has – as Intelligence Services Commissioner – repeatedly exonerated British spies from wrongdoing, despite a wealth of evidence to the contrary

      David Cameron made Sir Peter head of the inquiry earlier this month, saying his familiarity with the issues made him the best man for the job.”

      Because the biased inquiry will exonerate him.
      Dave’s not the sharpest tool in the box, is he ?

      Like

    • 66
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      If Labour voters are not the sharpest tools in the box, a proposition which resonates well with my intuitive feelings, then the Jocks must be a uncommonly thick bunch.

      Like

      • 106
        Southern Softy says:

        A diet of chips and deep-fried Mars bars and polling booths in pubs ensures a continued majority for Liebour north of the border.

        Like

        • 128
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          The problem is that a huge public works project beckons: one which would need to succeed where the Hadrian and Antonine Walls eventually failed. This time, perhaps, it could be a shipping canal.

          Like

  16. 23
    SHOCK! says:

    You mean David Miliband is going to win like everyone knew he would ?
    Staggering stuff.

    Like

  17. 25
    Nick Smeg H says:

    We learned that David Cameron’s favourite Grange Hill character was Gripper Stebson, a bully and a racist. It says it all about this government!

    Like

    • 77
      Oleaginous Al says:

      Admittedly an odd choice

      Like

    • 86
      Anonymous says:

      Does that mean if you like Arnie movies then you are a nutter too?

      Like

      • 102
        Conan says:

        Isn’t Arnie always the the good guy?

        Gripper Stebson was a bully who ran a strict taxing regime in the school of 20p per weakling enforced with violence, he also organised a race war in a bid to ethnically cleanse the school.

        Like

  18. 26
    Mr Branston Belcher says:

    I would like to do a poo in D.Millibands pocket

    Like

  19. 28
    Sarah Tweet says:

    have been out of contact for lots of reasons – first of all had a 4th birthday celebration in a tent #backgardencampingovernight

    Like

    • 33
      Scoutmaster Brown says:

      backpassagecampingovernight.

      Like

    • 47
      Unsworth says:

      Marvelous. We know how to live, eh, Sarah? Camping in the back garden? Where else is he camping? Now he’s back in London is he enjoying the metropolitan hedonism again, the exciting fleshpots?

      Like

  20. 32
    Sally "I'm Free" Inman says:

    11% for Abbott? Are they going by number of supporters or weight thereof?

    Like

    • 162
      Quantrill says:

      Anyone hear Abbot on radio 4 this morning?? When reminded about placing her kids in private edukashun she terminated the interview. Touchy or what????

      Like

  21. 35
    stey says:

    Whoever it will be it wll be a far left anti-English communist in the pocket of the EU.

    Like

  22. 41
    Grandad says:

    53% Don’t Care About Labour Leader? Probably the same percentage don’t give two fucks about the Tory leadership!
    Isn’t it about time Dodgy Dave told the Yanks and the EEC to go fuck themselves?

    Like

  23. 43
    Derek Draper says:

    Hi, it’s Derek here. If any candidate needs the benefit of my expert services in counselling please get in touch!

    Like

    • 48
      A Randy Punter says:

      Will your wife start offering a massages with ‘extras’ service when she gets canned from GMTV or Daybreak as it is now known as?

      I will put food on your table with my money if she does.

      Like

  24. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Have the stuffed postal votes been counted?

    Like

    • 52
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      We shall find out when, or if, Diane Abbott wins with a majority greater than that of the whole population of China.

      Like

  25. 50
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Quite honestly, I couldn’t give a flying fuck – even less than the flying fuck that I couldn’t give before.

    Like

  26. 64
    Place in the sun says:

    I see David Miliband, the leader of that weak and useless pack of would-be Labour leaders, has today said in an interview that he thinks the release of AlMegrahi was wrong.

    Of course, at the time he said it was right.

    He looks as though he’ll be about as decisive as Gordon if he wins the leadership race.

    Like

  27. 69
    Mr Branston Belcher says:

    I like to do a poo in Ed Millibands pocket too

    Like

  28. 70
    Bully Boy Balls ( heir to Michael Foot ) says:

    I am so desperate to continue with Gordon Brown’s brilliant transformation of the UK economy from powerhouse to poorhouse that I am forthwith changing my name by deed poll to ‘I don’t care’.

    Like

  29. 73
    Ed Milibands Press Officer says:

    Go on Ed Miliband,destroy this shitty coalition

    Clegg and Cameron misled parliament on Forgemasters « Ed Miliband for Labour Leader http://bit.ly/8XSQoy

    Like

  30. 76
    the beast of clerkenwell says:

    100% of me doent give a f+++

    Like

  31. 88
    anono says:

    Yawn Yawn Yawn

    hate to piss all over this shite twat boy… But shouldnt you be out doing some volunteering rather than sitting on your arse writing bloggs that no one reads !!!!!

    Like

  32. 94
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Gordon Brown has apparently suffered psychological trauma from his rejection at the polls. His humiliation was, of course, thoroughly deserved. He actually became even more phoney than Tony.

    There must be something that we can do, as reasonable and well adjusted human beings, to magnify his sufferings many times over, in the interests of utilitarianism. He cannot be allowed to forget, nor should anyone else.

    It would provide the greatest good for the greatest number of people to ensure that no one like him ever assumed great office in our country again.

    Like

    • 96
      The answer is.... says:

      Never vote for a Liebour politician again.

      Like

    • 100
      Boris says:

      I thought there was something wrong with these Zanu Goons..

      They are all suffering from post Gordoom nervous breakdown syndrome..

      And it’s untreatable…

      Like

    • 105
      Sir William Waad says:

      I propose a gigantic Hate Sculpture, depicting Brown with one of his slack-jawed, misanthropic scowls. This would show him allegorically ruining the economy while fighting a bloody but losing war and shoving money down the throat of a workless young man while beckoning a stream of economic migrants. It would feature a reverse cornucopia, sucking up money and destroying it and would be surrounded by a hundred CCTV cameras. The entire, forty-foot high statue would be made so as to smell of horse piss.

      Like

      • 111
        LOL says:

        LOL Twat Boy. You propose a gigantic Hate Sculpture

        GO FOR IT

        YOU CAN VOLUNTEER TO BUILD IT …..LOLOLOLOLOLOLO

        Like

      • 125
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        In the German town of Chemnitz, known from 1953 to 1990 as Karl-Marx-Stadt, there stands today, outside the University, a sculpture by Lev Kerbel of an enormous head of Karl Marx. It is one of the few Soviet realist works that has not been destroyed, indeed it has been preserved as a cultural monument.

        It makes sense that it should have been preserved, to remind people of the suffering that was imposed in his name. It is probably true, but matters not, that he may have never intended the consequences that occurred from his beliefs.

        I think your idea, Sir William, is an excellent one and, now that Parliament Square has been cleared, the most appropriate site possible is available too.

        Like

    • 108
      Jack says:

      When even the Guardian satirises all these Labour Memoirs…

      You know there must be something seriously wron,g…

      Pity they did not do it when they first knew about it…

      Where was Polly when they found out that the Gurning Goon was mad ???

      Like

    • 158
      penny for the hoon, mister? says:

      MAXIMUM brownie points for this one…
      Change the tradition on Nov 5th so that the effigy burned is a one-eyed Scot.
      You could add a Rumanian touch and have a fat legged female effigy as well.

      Like

  33. 97
    Sir William Waad says:

    “There’s small choice in rotten apples” (Shakespeare, the Taming of the Shrew)

    The evidence from the USA is that a candidate who is likely to win attracts more donations, rather than more donations helping a candidate to win.

    Like

  34. 103
    Michael68000 says:

    “53% Don’t Care About Labour Leader”

    I must admit, I find that difficult to believe. I’d have thought most Conservatives desperately want another turkey running Labour.

    Like

  35. 115
    Right On says:

    I can only afford to do volunteering if the government gives me loads of money

    Like

    • 126
      Place in the sun says:

      They’re already paying Gordon Brown several hundred thousand to do just that so they can’t afford to pay anybody else to have a go at it.

      Like

  36. 121
    Caligula says:

    Guido

    I think out campaign to get Blinky elected has backfired…

    We must call in Thuggie Whelan and some reaheavies

    Like

  37. 124
    Taxfodder says:

    I’m somewhat suprised its only 53%

    Like

  38. 129
    Liebour Troll Warning System says:

    Sitting here watching Liebour trolls making complete CLINTS of themselves as usual.

    Like

  39. 130
    Anne says:

    Watched Ed Balls countering Micheal Gove’s Academies Bill yesterday. Never has so much idealogical rubbish been spouted by a Labour MP! He spluttered and blustered through his speech, almost hysterical! Heaven help us if this person is ever given any power!!

    Like

  40. 135
    Please let it be Ed says:

    Where can I send all my postal votes for Ed Bollocks?

    Like

  41. 148
    simon r says:

    As part of Dave’s Big Society I think the following should take up these roles in the community…

    charlie kennedy – run a community pub

    gordon brown – set up a children’s playgroup

    margaret beckett – lollipop lady

    ron davies – public park warden

    kevin maguire – public toilet attendant ( womens )

    john prescott – dinner lady in a school for anorexics

    Any other suggestions…?

    Like

  42. 159
    Gooey Blob says:

    Not one of the candidates is worthy of the role.

    Purnell or Darling might have been worthy contenders, but the sneering wannabes who have put themselves forward this time don’t deserve the leadership of the Labour party, and certainly aren’t fit to be PM.

    Like

  43. 160
    Blinky couldn't run a pet shop says:

    A customer enters the Treasury.

    Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

    (Blinky does not respond.)

    Mr. Praline: ‘Ello, Miss?

    Blinky: What do you mean “miss”?

    Mr. Praline: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

    Blinky: We’re closin’ for lunch.

    Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this economy what I have been lumbered with not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

    Blinky: Oh yes, the, uh, the Economy…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?

    Mr. Praline: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!

    Blinky: No, no, it’s uh,… It’s resting.

    Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead Economy when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.

    Blinky: No no he’s not dead, he’s, it’s restin’! Remarkable thing, the Economy, idn’it, ay? Beautiful statistics!

    Mr. Praline: Statistics don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.

    Blinky: Nononono, no, no! it’s resting!

    Mr. Praline: All right then, if it’s restin’, I’ll wake it up! (shouting at the reams of paper) ‘Ello, Mister Economy! I’ve got a lovely fresh ten pound note for you if you
    show…

    (Blinky hits the book)

    Blinky: There, it moved!

    Mr. Praline: No, it didn’t, that was you hitting the book!

    Blinky: I never!!

    Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

    Blinky: I never, never did anything…

    Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the book repeatedly) ‘ELLO ECONOMY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!

    (Takes Economy out and thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

    Mr. Praline: Now that’s what I call a dead Economy.

    Blinky: No, no…..No, it’s stunned!

    Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

    Blinky: Yeah! You stunned him, just as it was wakin’ up! Economies stun easily, major.

    Mr. Praline: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That Economy is definitely deceased, and when I inherited it not ‘alf an hour
    ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged spell of spending.

    Blinky: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the Banks.

    Mr. Praline: PININ’ for the BANKS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?

    Blinky: The Economy prefers keepin’ on it’s back! Remarkable, id’nit, squire? Lovely statistics!

    Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Economy when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been working in the
    first place was that it had been NAILED to the treasury door!

    (pause)

    Blinky: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that Economy down, it would have nuzzled up to those banks, bent ‘em with its inflation, and
    VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

    Mr. Praline: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this Economy wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! it’s bleedin’ demised!

    Blinky: No no! it’s pining!

    Mr. Praline: it’s not pinin’! it’s passed on! This Economy is no more! It has ceased to be! it’s expired and gone to meet its maker! it’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it
    rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the door it’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Its metabolic processes are now ‘istory! it’s off the twig! it’s kicked the
    bucket, it’s shuffled off it’s mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-ECONOMY!!

    (pause)

    Blinky: Well, I’d better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the shop, and uh,
    we’re right out of Economies.

    Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

    Blinky: I married a slug you can have.

    (pause)

    Mr. Praline: Pray, does it do economies?

    Blinky: Nnnnot really.

    Mr. Praline: WELL IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

    Blinky: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet and blinks – a lot)

    Mr. Praline: Well!

    Like

  44. 161
    Voice of Treason says:

    Diane Abbott lacks a physical disabilty otherwise she would make the perfect token leader. Diane Abbott as Prime Minister – jeeeezzzz the stuff of nightmares.

    Like


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Tony Blair threatens Ed:

“If you had a strong political lead that was combining the politics of aspiration with the politics of compassion, I still think that’s where you could get a substantial majority…  If I ever do an interview on [the state of the Labour Party], it will have to be at length…”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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