Tweet Competition Winner
Ever generous, Guido gave valuable blog space to assist Deborah Mattinson with her challenge to define Labour’s economic record with a Tweetable message.
Amongst the usual dross there were a few amusing 140-character entries. Congratulations to HPDL for the winning entry:
“Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Gordon Brown: I came, I spent, I’m bonkers.”
A copy of the The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze will in the post as soon as HPDL tells gives Guido his/her address….
What about giving away some house of commons plonk to your blog readers hahahah?
http://www.plentyonyourplate.com
We’re all guilty of “too much tweeting” together.
why not go for the truth?
light touch regulation.
Jeff Randall produced a superb summary of Blair/Brownonomics (a tad outside twitter’s 140 letter limit) here:
Peter-the-Greats-poisonous-pen-will-do-Britain-a-power-of-good.html
Best bit:
Isn’t that what the winner said?
who is Guidos lackey?
Guido’s lackey is Mr Moderator.
I told you in 1997 that things would get better, didn’t I
Brown fucked us up the arse, that’s it in a nutshell.
Yes. But we didn’t know you meant things would only get better when we’ve gone.
Better for you
That quote should be carved in Portland stone and placed atop the vacant plinth in Trafalgar Square – not for 24-hours but 100 years – for the next three or four generations of citizens and visitors to read, absorb and never forget.
With copies in Arabic, Urdu and Polish
An a huge pile of turds..
Ed Balls says he’s not bonkers, a liar, a bully, or a Tony Blair denier…. and everyone else in their memoirs are liars.
He speaks a load of tosh.
Kool, Skool, no Blackpool
i came i was dross
Brown: ” I came, but Peter wouldn’t swallow”
I thought it was Boris who came?
Whats this I hear Guido that you have a book coming out,or is it just gossip?
The Third Hand, its called.
I got that from a SpAd, who got it from Guido.
handy for wanking?
Five no trumps !
The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze. The 2010 edition comprises twenty four tomes, each of 1,000 pages and requires a fork-lift truck to transport the set up the garden path.
and thats just the stuff devoted to Baron Prescot
Can you get aeroplane gingers?
Yes.
ginger chutney?
Very droll, very apposite.
Not fair Guido, the winner was actually trying.
wot are you on about?
Christ! This is a first!
Ask Ed
http://edballs4labour.org/ask-ed.php
I darnt corupt my computer going to that site , some of us have taste
For reasons unknown to me Brillo gave Blinky a very easy time on last night’s prog. Any serious suggestions as to why would be welcome.
Maybe he supports guidos Balls for leader campain ?
We ALL support Ballsy g.f.m. That way Lieber should be out of office for decades!
Excellent!
A worthy winner.
http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2010/07/new-labour-old-habits-2.html
In a renewed attempt at a comeback, the former Leeda of Noo_Lie_Bore said he definitely HAD saved the world, even though he had fucked up everything to do with Great Britain.
The latter statement and admission of guilt is believed by observers to be yet another lie.
The same goes for his claim that he had launched yet another British satellite with his bare hands.
EdWin, the testicular wannabe, remains blinkin obvious as the noo Leeda. Or not.
Surely. ” I came, I spent, I squandered. “
That is brillance on brillance.Who needs a pay wall Times when we have such wit and comment for free.
Good, but too late bloody late.
Our summary rejection, though we took it with urbanity
Was naturally wounding in some measure to our vanity.
The bitterness of failure was considerably mollified,
However, by the ease with which HPDL had qualified.
Too kind!
So Boris has been dipping his stick where he shouldnt ? dont really give a fuck , Who he shags is his buisness .
Saw Galloway on sky news talking about Raoul moat and the facebook stuff , Fuck sake its not only politicons that have a point of view , Us the public have a view as well . Tosser
Well, I’m a member of he public and I think Moat was a murdering lunatic and it’s better that he’s dead. Saves us paying £40000 a year for the rest of his natural for him to rot in the nick.
Sorry , I must of missed his trail ?
He kind of made his own decision on that one didn’t he. You can’t try a man who has blown his brains out.
agreed but I don’t want politicians telling anyone what they can say,even if it’s Moaty you legend.end of story.
No. He was murdering violent filth. Seems that only chavs like you think he’s “a legend”, well you’re an idiot.
Good for me!
Yet another U-Turn from the coalition
Govt plan to raise age to receive free bus pass total betrayal of Cameron’s election promise.Said they would not cut free bus travel.
Hat Tip Ed Miliband
There’s no money left.
Hat Tip Gordon Brown.
That’s no excuse for the King of “cast iron guarantees” to spout meaningless drivel.
I refer to none other than David Cameron who will lead this coalition into a “double dip” recession
Martin Day – were you in the Q.T audience last night? Sounds like it. They too were a bunch of Lieber luvvies who can’t accept that Gorgon and his gang bloody well ruined this country. Keep waving the red flag comrade, it’ll give us something to aim at.
Ok, I’ll bite.
What about your former great leader who promised to ‘fight for a fairer Britain’. How is he managing that hundreds of miles from parliament? Is can 2 days attendance out of 70 going to make this happen?
Or maybe his lies are far, far worse than anything Cameron’s done.
lol @’meaningless drivel’ isn’t that what i put on your last essay?
ahhhh, Martin
your socialist experiment has failed
Labour will never be re-elected in your lifetime
get used to it, loser
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Like minded, beat me too it.
Cast iron words from
All they have said is they will revue the date when the eligibility may increase from the current 60 to 65, Labour intended to increase it to 65 in 2020. “There is no money left”, what do you not understand about this statement from Liam Byrne chief secretary of the empty Treasury under Gormless?
Martin day. Why do you post as if its still 1975.
Throw your snow washed flares away, cut your hair, shave off your face fluff, ditch the Lennon specs, take all the badges off your denim jacket and join the 21st century.
Good News. There should be no taxpayer funded travel.
Including mp’s
It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.
Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now. YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY. COMPRENDEZ?
The other U-turn is that they’ve very quietly cancelled the promised review of the Smoking Ban due in 2010 (see Business Questions, yesterday).
So much for Clegg’s criteria for repealing unnecessary laws.
Coalition of crooks, more like.
Labour are on the way back
Labour scored a council by-election hat-trick – gaining from Tories, Liberal Democrats and the Green Party.
It landed its heaviest blow on Conservatives since the general election when Fred Westley took a Bloxwich West seat at Walsall, West Midlands, where the previous poll was on the same day as the Commons contests.
The net swing was 10.8% over two months.
The boost to the party’s morale comes in a borough where it only narrowly won two of its parliamentary constituencies on May 6.
Labour’s Linda Crompton gained from Lib Dems at Riversway, Preston Borough, but this triumph was more predictable as the previous councillor quit shortly after his shock May 6 victory. The absence of a Tory candidate in the by-election clearly did not help coalition partners.
The third gain for Labour came at Leicester City’s Castle ward where Neil Clayton took a Green Party seat.
There was clear evidence of a Lib Dem slump in the three seats won by Labour but they held their own against Conservatives except at Greater Marlow, Wycombe District, Buckinghamshire, where Tories benefited from an independent vote fall.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.
Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now. YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY.
COMPRENDEZ?
Just shows you how thick the ‘folks’ of Bloxwich West and the rest are to vote Labour – utter morons in fact. By the way, how many postal votes were ‘amended’ Martin?
Well, Gordon Brown increased his majority at the last election.
All your drivel proves is that some people are exceptionally stupid.
Fortunately, enough people are not that stupid; which will ensure the lefty scum are not allowed anywhere near No. 10 for decades.
Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend
Leg end… why don’t you just hop off.
Wow. Quick. Run over and ask Dave for the keys. You’ve won a council.
To which they are more than welcome.
I demand a stewards investigation !
Rule 4 not under starters orders.
I’m backing Ed Miliband to lead the Labour Party and become the next Prime Minister of the UK
I’m the real HPDL and I claim my prize
I hear that all the leftie wankers are whinging about a bus bing delayed by a few years , Fuck sake if you cant afford bus fare then why the fuck are you going out?
I meant bus pass
Yeah, if the bus bing was delayed by a few years it would be just like booking a passage on the Flying Dutchman (no smut, please).
It’s another broken pledge by that toe-rag David Cameron
” Sorry , Theres no money left “
And where the fuck is the wanker that left this mess , you all know the economic genius Gordon Brown ?
Probably watching the golf.
He wished Colin Montgomery all the best, oops! mind that flying nibblick.
I remember the leftie brethren talking about “Gordon Browns econimic miracle” ten years ago. Deluded wankers.
Here I am !! Enjoying the Poisoned Chalice we left behind ??
This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others. In addition to my duties in my house, I will have further such meetings later today
Is that you dave lol ?
I take my duties in the house very seriously as new world man, I do the cooking you know, I even asked the missus to stand for Leader instead of me, yes I did, that’s how equal I am.
These should be at the real heart of Camerons policies
http://www.theagedp.com/?p=985
Caption competition please – i’m bored.
I’m not bonkers. Isn’t that right, Mr Hat?
We gave you child tax credits.
after taking the money from us in the first place therefore costing more to give back than if people had just kept there own money
Gone fuckin mental
Are you pissed again ?
Yep , working hard
You gave us bankruptcy you bastard!
And bankruptcy and two illegal wars and near dictatorship………………………………………………………….. etc!!
The coalition is the Party of high unemployment and here is just a small part of our programme
It is estimated the scrapping of Liverpool’s £350 million secondary school building programme will cost the equivalent of more than 1,000 full-time jobs, it was claimed.
Plans for 26 schools to be rebuilt or completely modernised under Wave Six of Buildings Schools for the Future were “abandoned” by Education Secretary Michael Gove, Liverpool City Council said.
An estimated 1,000 full time equivalent construction jobs would have been created in the design, construction and maintenance of the schools.
A further 320 full-time equivalent posts through the creation of a Local Education Partnership (LEP) to deliver the scheme will now not happen, together with 200 apprenticeships.
In addition to the £350 million capital cost of the scheme, a further £50 million of ICT investment and £10.5 million of cleaning and maintenance management contracts will also be lost – bringing the total amount of finance lost to £410.5 million.
” Sorry , Theres no money left”
Why don’t we print some more then.
Let’s bring back quantitive easing boys and girls
Brilliant idea !!
Best the case for the rebuilding of those 26 schools be re-assessed. Along with the protocol of issuing contracts and of overall cost control. Then those schools that do need rebuilding can be, and at a lower cost and without vast sums of taxpayers money being syphoned off through corruption. That sounds better business management to me.
This is Liverpool we’re writing about. I daresay that no-one even counts the cost of repairing burnt and vanadalised schools in that fair city. If they built one new school and it lasted five years without being wrecked then they should be allowed to build some more. I know a few good people from there and they proudly defend the place, but they know that you know that they know it’s drug and crime infested in various parts. The first step to resolving any problem is to admit it exists.
lol ‘finances lost’ i take it thats newspeak for savings made to the tax payer allowing them to spend the money themselves and therefore not making a blind bit of difference to the net total in the economy.prick
Daddy, who is that lady with mummy all the time? She says she’s from somewhere called Canningsbury or something like that.
Proud to contribute dross, bring on the caption comp…
What’s Lord Men-doll-son’s favourite Chinese food?
Cream of sumyungai.
Can we have a video of Blinky on last night’s This Week? It wasn’t as funny as Dieann Aboot’s interview but it has comedy value in him denying every negative quote about him in various memoirs.
I hate the one that went to oxbridge
Neil didn’t make any real attempt to land heavy blows on Blinky.
Did you notice his sweaty top lip? Always a sign of a liar.
Strange how so many people have got him wrong, and that he’s the only one who is right. We all know he’s an odious, truth-dodging bully-boy who should have been strangled at birth, and the more he denies it the more convincing the stories about him are.
We’ll be back! We’re the natural party of government! You haven’t seen the last of us! We’re on our way back!
Oh fuck off , You lost , You kept the mental one , you fucked up the public purse and you are off you fuckin heads
On our way back to oblivion !!
It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.
Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now.
YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY. COMPRENDEZ?
there was two gay guys in bed, the first guy was putting vasaline on his back ,the secound guy asks “why are you putting that on your back” he replies “i read it stimulates hair growth” the secound guy says “if thats true ill have a pony tail coming out of my arse.
And bring back guy news !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having a piss when my phone rings. It’s the missus so I have a quick chat with her and hang up. Bloke next to me says “Bloody hell mate! Talking on the phone while having a piss…that’s disgusting!” So I reply “Give me a break…it’s not often that I’ve got my cock in my hand and my wife on my mind at the same time”.
Guido can you get tory bear to go after the lybian geezer or BP as there seems to hav been a deal
Tweet Competiton wins you!
“Hooray for the Bankers.”
Unelected, Bigoted , Rejected !
“It was the Twaddlesaurus wot made me do it Guv…!” moaned the man called Gordy McRuin….. “It was the Twaddlesaurus… honest..!”"