July 16th, 2010

Tweet Competition Winner

Ever generous, Guido gave valuable blog space to assist Deborah Mattinson with her challenge to define Labour’s economic record with a Tweetable message.

Amongst the usual dross there were a few amusing 140-character entries. Congratulations to HPDL for the winning entry:

“Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Gordon Brown: I came, I spent, I’m bonkers.”

A copy of the The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze will in the post as soon as HPDL tells gives Guido his/her address….


129 Comments

  1. 1
    ChrisG says:

    What about giving away some house of commons plonk to your blog readers hahahah?

    http://www.plentyonyourplate.com

    Like

  2. 2
    WailsLandofSong says:

    Kool, Skool, no Blackpool

    Like

  3. 3
    drosser says:

    i came i was dross

    Like

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    I thought it was Boris who came?

    Like

  5. 5
    Head Lizard says:

    Whats this I hear Guido that you have a book coming out,or is it just gossip?

    Like

  6. 6
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze. The 2010 edition comprises twenty four tomes, each of 1,000 pages and requires a fork-lift truck to transport the set up the garden path.

    Like

  7. 7
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Can you get aeroplane gingers?

    Like

  8. 8
    wot you on about says:

    ginger chutney?

    Like

  9. 10
    Penfold says:

    Very droll, very apposite.
    Not fair Guido, the winner was actually trying.

    Like

  10. 12
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Christ! This is a first!

    Like

  11. 14
    • 23
      Gone fuckin mental says:

      I darnt corupt my computer going to that site , some of us have taste

      Like

    • 75
      Anonymous says:

      For reasons unknown to me Brillo gave Blinky a very easy time on last night’s prog. Any serious suggestions as to why would be welcome.

      Like

  12. 16
  13. 17
    New Tribute put up to brutal, vicious, lying, underhand, arrogant git with a history of violence says:

    In a renewed attempt at a comeback, the former Leeda of Noo_Lie_Bore said he definitely HAD saved the world, even though he had fucked up everything to do with Great Britain.

    The latter statement and admission of guilt is believed by observers to be yet another lie.

    The same goes for his claim that he had launched yet another British satellite with his bare hands.

    EdWin, the testicular wannabe, remains blinkin obvious as the noo Leeda. Or not.

    Like

  14. 19
    Philip McArthur says:

    Surely. ” I came, I spent, I squandered. “

    Like

  15. 20
    Sir William Waad says:

    Our summary rejection, though we took it with urbanity
    Was naturally wounding in some measure to our vanity.
    The bitterness of failure was considerably mollified,
    However, by the ease with which HPDL had qualified.

    Like

  16. 21
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    So Boris has been dipping his stick where he shouldnt ? dont really give a fuck , Who he shags is his buisness .

    Saw Galloway on sky news talking about Raoul moat and the facebook stuff , Fuck sake its not only politicons that have a point of view , Us the public have a view as well . Tosser

    Like

    • 25
      Member of public has opinion shock horror says:

      Well, I’m a member of he public and I think Moat was a murdering lunatic and it’s better that he’s dead. Saves us paying £40000 a year for the rest of his natural for him to rot in the nick.

      Like

      • 35
        Gone fuckin mental says:

        Sorry , I must of missed his trail ?

        Like

        • 92
          Mike Hunt says:

          He kind of made his own decision on that one didn’t he. You can’t try a man who has blown his brains out.

          Like

      • 91
        Head Lizard says:

        agreed but I don’t want politicians telling anyone what they can say,even if it’s Moaty you legend.end of story.

        Like

        • 125
          good riddance says:

          No. He was murdering violent filth. Seems that only chavs like you think he’s “a legend”, well you’re an idiot.

          Like

  17. 22
    Lord Mandelson says:

    Good for me!

    Like

  18. 24
    Martin Day says:

    Yet another U-Turn from the coalition

    Govt plan to raise age to receive free bus pass total betrayal of Cameron’s election promise.Said they would not cut free bus travel.

    Hat Tip Ed Miliband

    Like

    • 27
      Liar Byrne says:

      There’s no money left.

      Hat Tip Gordon Brown.

      Like

      • 32
        Martin Day says:

        That’s no excuse for the King of “cast iron guarantees” to spout meaningless drivel.

        I refer to none other than David Cameron who will lead this coalition into a “double dip” recession

        Like

        • 104
          Lennon's Dog says:

          Martin Day – were you in the Q.T audience last night? Sounds like it. They too were a bunch of Lieber luvvies who can’t accept that Gorgon and his gang bloody well ruined this country. Keep waving the red flag comrade, it’ll give us something to aim at.

          Like

        • 117
          I hate New Labour says:

          Ok, I’ll bite.

          What about your former great leader who promised to ‘fight for a fairer Britain’. How is he managing that hundreds of miles from parliament? Is can 2 days attendance out of 70 going to make this happen?

          Or maybe his lies are far, far worse than anything Cameron’s done.

          Like

        • 119
          MartinsTeacher says:

          lol @’meaningless drivel’ isn’t that what i put on your last essay?

          Like

        • 126
          Labour LOSERS says:

          ahhhh, Martin

          your socialist experiment has failed

          Labour will never be re-elected in your lifetime

          get used to it, loser

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

          Like

      • 36
        streamfisher says:

        Like minded, beat me too it.

        Like

    • 34
      streamfisher says:

      All they have said is they will revue the date when the eligibility may increase from the current 60 to 65, Labour intended to increase it to 65 in 2020. “There is no money left”, what do you not understand about this statement from Liam Byrne chief secretary of the empty Treasury under Gormless?

      Like

    • 41

      Martin day. Why do you post as if its still 1975.
      Throw your snow washed flares away, cut your hair, shave off your face fluff, ditch the Lennon specs, take all the badges off your denim jacket and join the 21st century.

      Like

    • 69
      AC1 says:

      Good News. There should be no taxpayer funded travel.

      Like

    • 88
      Anonymous says:

      It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.

      Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now. YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY. COMPRENDEZ?

      Like

    • 115
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      The other U-turn is that they’ve very quietly cancelled the promised review of the Smoking Ban due in 2010 (see Business Questions, yesterday).

      So much for Clegg’s criteria for repealing unnecessary laws.

      Coalition of crooks, more like.

      Like

  19. 30
    Martin Day says:

    Labour are on the way back

    Labour scored a council by-election hat-trick – gaining from Tories, Liberal Democrats and the Green Party.

    It landed its heaviest blow on Conservatives since the general election when Fred Westley took a Bloxwich West seat at Walsall, West Midlands, where the previous poll was on the same day as the Commons contests.

    The net swing was 10.8% over two months.

    The boost to the party’s morale comes in a borough where it only narrowly won two of its parliamentary constituencies on May 6.

    Labour’s Linda Crompton gained from Lib Dems at Riversway, Preston Borough, but this triumph was more predictable as the previous councillor quit shortly after his shock May 6 victory. The absence of a Tory candidate in the by-election clearly did not help coalition partners.

    The third gain for Labour came at Leicester City’s Castle ward where Neil Clayton took a Green Party seat.

    There was clear evidence of a Lib Dem slump in the three seats won by Labour but they held their own against Conservatives except at Greater Marlow, Wycombe District, Buckinghamshire, where Tories benefited from an independent vote fall.

    Like

    • 47
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

      Like

      • 98
        Anonymous says:

        It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.

        Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now. YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY.

        COMPRENDEZ?

        Like

    • 105
      Lennon's Dog says:

      Just shows you how thick the ‘folks’ of Bloxwich West and the rest are to vote Labour – utter morons in fact. By the way, how many postal votes were ‘amended’ Martin?

      Like

    • 118
      I hate New Labour says:

      Well, Gordon Brown increased his majority at the last election.

      All your drivel proves is that some people are exceptionally stupid.

      Fortunately, enough people are not that stupid; which will ensure the lefty scum are not allowed anywhere near No. 10 for decades.

      Like

  20. 37
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend

    Like

  21. 38

    Wow. Quick. Run over and ask Dave for the keys. You’ve won a council.

    Like

  22. 39
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    I demand a stewards investigation !

    Like

  23. 40
    HPDL says:

    I’m backing Ed Miliband to lead the Labour Party and become the next Prime Minister of the UK

    Like

  24. 43
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    I hear that all the leftie wankers are whinging about a bus bing delayed by a few years , Fuck sake if you cant afford bus fare then why the fuck are you going out?

    Like

  25. 45
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    And where the fuck is the wanker that left this mess , you all know the economic genius Gordon Brown ?

    Like

  26. 48
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others. In addition to my duties in my house, I will have further such meetings later today

    Like

    • 50
      Gone fuckin mental says:

      Is that you dave lol ?

      Like

    • 61
      More Balls says:

      I take my duties in the house very seriously as new world man, I do the cooking you know, I even asked the missus to stand for Leader instead of me, yes I did, that’s how equal I am.

      Like

  27. 51
    callingallcomets says:

    These should be at the real heart of Camerons policies

    http://www.theagedp.com/?p=985

    Like

  28. 52

    Caption competition please – i’m bored.

    Like

  29. 54
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I’m not bonkers. Isn’t that right, Mr Hat?

    Like

  30. 56
  31. 59
    Messrs Cameron & Clegg says:

    The coalition is the Party of high unemployment and here is just a small part of our programme

    It is estimated the scrapping of Liverpool’s £350 million secondary school building programme will cost the equivalent of more than 1,000 full-time jobs, it was claimed.

    Plans for 26 schools to be rebuilt or completely modernised under Wave Six of Buildings Schools for the Future were “abandoned” by Education Secretary Michael Gove, Liverpool City Council said.

    An estimated 1,000 full time equivalent construction jobs would have been created in the design, construction and maintenance of the schools.

    A further 320 full-time equivalent posts through the creation of a Local Education Partnership (LEP) to deliver the scheme will now not happen, together with 200 apprenticeships.

    In addition to the £350 million capital cost of the scheme, a further £50 million of ICT investment and £10.5 million of cleaning and maintenance management contracts will also be lost – bringing the total amount of finance lost to £410.5 million.

    Like

    • 62
      Liam Bryne says:

      ” Sorry , Theres no money left”

      Like

    • 100
      South of the M4 says:

      Best the case for the rebuilding of those 26 schools be re-assessed. Along with the protocol of issuing contracts and of overall cost control. Then those schools that do need rebuilding can be, and at a lower cost and without vast sums of taxpayers money being syphoned off through corruption. That sounds better business management to me.

      Like

      • 124
        North, but not Scotland says:

        This is Liverpool we’re writing about. I daresay that no-one even counts the cost of repairing burnt and vanadalised schools in that fair city. If they built one new school and it lasted five years without being wrecked then they should be allowed to build some more. I know a few good people from there and they proudly defend the place, but they know that you know that they know it’s drug and crime infested in various parts. The first step to resolving any problem is to admit it exists.

        Like

    • 120
      ballysc@nt says:

      lol ‘finances lost’ i take it thats newspeak for savings made to the tax payer allowing them to spend the money themselves and therefore not making a blind bit of difference to the net total in the economy.prick

      Like

  32. 60
    Conversation between one of Ms Macauley's sons and Jonah says:

    Daddy, who is that lady with mummy all the time? She says she’s from somewhere called Canningsbury or something like that.

    Like

  33. 70
    filipinomonkey says:

    Proud to contribute dross, bring on the caption comp…

    Like

  34. 71
    Ooh, matron says:

    What’s Lord Men-doll-son’s favourite Chinese food?

    Cream of sumyungai.

    Like

  35. 73
    I fucking hate Blinky fucking Balls with a fucking passion, he's an evil odious little cunt says:

    Can we have a video of Blinky on last night’s This Week? It wasn’t as funny as Dieann Aboot’s interview but it has comedy value in him denying every negative quote about him in various memoirs.

    Like

    • 74
      Gone fuckin mental says:

      I hate the one that went to oxbridge

      Like

    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      Neil didn’t make any real attempt to land heavy blows on Blinky.

      Like

    • 109
      Lennon's Dog says:

      Did you notice his sweaty top lip? Always a sign of a liar.

      Like

    • 113
      Anonymous says:

      Strange how so many people have got him wrong, and that he’s the only one who is right. We all know he’s an odious, truth-dodging bully-boy who should have been strangled at birth, and the more he denies it the more convincing the stories about him are.

      Like

  36. 76
    Labour activist says:

    We’ll be back! We’re the natural party of government! You haven’t seen the last of us! We’re on our way back!

    Like

    • 77
      Gone fuckin mental says:

      Oh fuck off , You lost , You kept the mental one , you fucked up the public purse and you are off you fuckin heads

      Like

    • 90
      Gormless Brown says:

      On our way back to oblivion !!

      Like

    • 99
      Anonymous says:

      It is where a dysfunctional clique took the United Kingdom into an illegal war, dismantled border controls, encouraged unprecedented immigration, debased educational standards, attacked the independence of our best schools and universities, botched devolution, eroded British sovereignty, pumped up a consumer debt bubble, ran our private pension system into the ground, messed up financial regulation and wrecked the country’s balance sheet.

      Martin, if you don’t understand this, feel free to contact any one else, who will be more than happy to explain its meaning to you, including my dog and my mother, bless her, and she has been dead for 20 years now.

      YOU GROTESQUE,INFANTILE, STALINIST C U N T S RUINED OUR COUNTRY. COMPRENDEZ?

      Like

  37. 78
    Chris Huhne says:

    there was two gay guys in bed, the first guy was putting vasaline on his back ,the secound guy asks “why are you putting that on your back” he replies “i read it stimulates hair growth” the secound guy says “if thats true ill have a pony tail coming out of my arse.

    Like

  38. 79
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    And bring back guy news !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  39. 81
    Nick Clegg says:

    Having a piss when my phone rings. It’s the missus so I have a quick chat with her and hang up. Bloke next to me says “Bloody hell mate! Talking on the phone while having a piss…that’s disgusting!” So I reply “Give me a break…it’s not often that I’ve got my cock in my hand and my wife on my mind at the same time”.

    Like

  40. 106
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    Guido can you get tory bear to go after the lybian geezer or BP as there seems to hav been a deal

    Like

  41. 116
    In Soviet Russia says:

    Tweet Competiton wins you!

    Like

  42. 122
    Grodo's motto says:

    “Hooray for the Bankers.”

    Like

  43. 127
    MY FRIENDS CALL ME ALICE and i will take a dare says:

    Unelected, Bigoted , Rejected !

    Like

  44. 128
    L'Oncle Vanya, Caretaker of 'Temple of Claudius' Camoludunum says:

    “It was the Twaddlesaurus wot made me do it Guv…!” moaned the man called Gordy McRuin….. “It was the Twaddlesaurus… honest..!””

    Like


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Knifed former civil service chief Bob Kerslake on his recent troubles:

“Many thks for kind wishes following back opn. Incision measured 16cm. A pretty big knife in the back! Photos on request.”



TJ says:

And i’ve noticed that 100% of Guido Fawkes staff are men. Looks like Guido has a woman problem. Or is it an hypocrisy problem?


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