Prize Competition: Explain Labour’s Record in a Tweet
Deborah Mattinson, formerly the Brown bunker’s favourite pollster*, was wailing last night to a Mirror hack and the evil Fabian’s Sunda Katawala that “I’m still worried ‘Labour wrecked economy’ is now accepted wisdom… Labour cannot afford to wait until new leader is in place to get strong economic defence up. It must start now… Labour lacks a simple message to defend its record. Without it Labour takes the blame and loses the argument… Labour is losing the argument on the economy”. Deborah, there is a simple reason that this is the accepted wisdom. It is the truth.
All Labour governments end in economic disaster, with higher unemployment at the end than the beginning, as Margaret Thatcher pointed out,“The problem with socialism is that, sooner or later, you run out of other people’s money.”
The competition is to win a copy of The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze for the most amusing 140 character Tweetable account of Labour’s economic record. Post your entries in the comments section. Guido’s decision, as always, is final.
*How is her firm doing winning government contracts nowadays? She claims in her new book “Talking To A Brick Wall“ they were won on merit. She was incredibly successful in winning millions of pounds of government business when Gordon was in power. Completely unrelated her firm did personal polling for Gordon for free. Fancy that. Wonder how much business she is winning “on merit” from the government now?
Shite
“Light touch regulation”
“No More boom just bust”
Labour’s not the answer, Labour is the question. The answer is ‘WHY’?
from pretty good to fucking awful
what your’s is mine, what’s mine is yours – except I haven’t got anything.
Light touch paper… Boom
oops Bust again… need more regulation next time
Flashback : Brown 2005 Speech on “Light Touch Regulation”
http://order-order.com/2008/09/23/flashback-brown-2005-speech-light-touch/
“But the real prize for memory loss must go to Ed Balls. On Monday he said that those who had advocated “light touch regulation” had been, in his words, “routed”. This is the same Ed Balls who as Chief Economic Adviser to the Treasury for eight years boasted about the “light touch” regime of City regulation he had designed. This is also the same Ed Balls who then as City Minister called for “a light touch approach at the global and EU level”. The star player of Labour’s football team has scored a spectacular own-goal.”
Tax, waste, lies, corruption, war, oppression, incompetence and debt.
One I created last year for Guido’s Slogan Submission comp which still seems apt:
“Bang and the Wealth has gone. Cillit Brown”
2 foot thick of the FSAs “light touch” regulation.
Labour: Fake Boom, Really bust.
there’s always some c’unt trying to stick up for Browns Banking fuckwittery
I’m fucked you’re fucked, the whole bloody Country’s fucked, We’re all completely fucked. I’ve completely fucked it up; 13 fucking waisted years.
Now fuck off the lot of you.
Oh; and now my fucking Nokia’s fucked as well.
Tough Gordo, you will have to buy your own in future just like the plebies.
And nursie does not like you having them because you do not hold them that way!
Would have been more evil if it weren’t for complete incompetence.
Iraq
Jesus, why is advertising that piece of shit’s book going on here?
Let’s ask Peter Mandelslime to explain Labour’s success.
“Our economic achievement? Simply this. Let me demonstrate. Hands together like this under gluteus maximus, and push upwards briskly”.
Things can only get better
why post it when we can tweet it?
What is a Tweet?
Something Twats do.
The Invasion of Britain – 6 Million Immigrants!
6 million grateful Labour voters.
There’ll be even more from eastern europe when/ if the recovery takes off.
Shouldn’t that be the invasion of England – 6 Million Immigrants?
Do we have enough mansions for them all?
Not entering into the competition but can’t you just instantly recognise a socialist? There is something about the face that gives them away.
…and a touch of the Major Bloodnocks.
‘Take the Regimental Oath! Open your wallets, and say after me, ‘Help yourself!’ Thank you lads…’
” The problem with socailisim is that you always run out of other peoples money”
I’ve already won this.
Nice
Naughty Zippy.
Not bad!
Excellent find. A sophisticated allegory on the disastrous Blair-Brown duopoly.
” Labour can only be compared to enron on accounting levels “
Gave away Gold peerages sold
iraq plunder afghan blunder
blair lied kelly died
pensions rust banks bust
any reason? Labour treason
Who killed Cook Robin?
(applauds)
How about:
“Labour REALLY REALLY REALLY buggered our economy”
Thats only 48 characters. You could have had:
“Labour REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY buggered our economy.”
” If spending money was the answer then labour would win every election “
Spending othere peoples money, they made sure their own personal nests are well feathered and untouchable. Only the proles suffer under Labour and only the proles will pay our way out of it.
“defend labour’s economic record…”
hahahahahahahaahahaha oh my god you have to laugh at these people. They have totally and utterly screwed the economy….selling off our gold on the cheap, plundering pensions, and gerrymandering votes with a mass spending spree on extra public sector workers and benefits claimants, to shore up their dwindling support. Defend that, you wankers.
Guido wasnt it Winston Curchill that first said that Maggie quote?
Perhaps.
I believe he also said:
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery”
Right on every count on the evidence of the last 13 years.
What about this from Bob Dylan’s Idiot Wind
“Now everything’s a little upside down, as a matter of fact the wheels have stopped
What’s good is bad, what’s bad is good, you’ll find out when you reach the top
You’re on the bottom”
Wasn’t he in the Magic Roundabout?
Postle
Or was the movies?
Uneducate us uneducate us
Poor Deb’s, Labour sugar daddy out of power and Deb’s out of influence. What’s a ZaNu whore to do these days eh?
Listen Debs, if you think that the past 13 years went well and that NuLiebour’s record was a good one, you and Mandelslime (Toady this morning) are the only ones on the planet who think that. The record that the rest of us have had to endure has been a pile of stinking manure, shat upon us from a great height – and it will go on raining down for years to come.
Cut the crap and get real woman.
Labour’s Economic Record is so appalling, that it has driven Gordon Brown to silence and invisibility.
“we’ve feathered our nests – the rest of you can go hang”
rotters!
“Labours economic record ? Unbeliveable “
NuLab inherited growth economy, stuck with Tory budgets, it worked. Then raised spending, grew public sector, eye off the ball, financial crisis, mega-deficit, high unemployment, spin, spin, spin – collapso!
And that’s exactly what happened.
There was no Banking economic catastrophe thanks to Brown and there never could be.
You all dreamed it.
We Bankers are loved by the public.
You are no banker, you are a pratt, mind you did not know anything about banking and the effects of stupid banking practices just gave your approval but did not understand so it is not your fault.
“it is not your fault.”
*weep* you’ve made a very rich man very very VERY happy. *sob*
Me too and Tony sends his regards.
I’d vote for this just because of the word ‘collapso’!
Labour successfully abolished boom and bust, replacing it with debt deflation and decline.
I think what they are trying to say is:
“Nothing to do with us – it was all Browns fault!”
that’s certainly what I’m saying
We abolished boom, not bust !!
But i saved the world !
And got 0.01% interest for it.
my children will be poor…thanks Gordon
My boys are doing very well thank you very much.
Labours economic record – record breaking stupidity and ineptness.
Labour wrecked the economy. Again.
Not a competiton entry. Just a statement of fact.
Deficit Deniers R Us
Labour AND the Bankers wrecked the economy. Fact.
I thought Labour were the (w)ankers who wrecked the economy?
Not just the UK economy but Iceland’s:
Good, the UK totally screwed Iceland. The Swedish central bank have done an independent report on the whole thing and concluded (in their own words) that the UK Government ‘acted incompetently’. We took down Kaupthing which would have almost certainly otherwise survived. We used anti terror laws to class Iceland as a country as a terrorist organisation immediately meaning that no one was legally allowed to deal with them as a terrorist organisation and put their whole economy into the shredder.
Is it really that shocking that public opinion in Iceland classes Gordon Brown and Darling as two international criminals?
I thought it was awfully polite of us to close European airspace during a large military drill, showing round the clock coverage of volcanoes exploding in Iceland as the cause.
I just thought “ruin their tourism and test those new fancy radars we’re developing yes?”
Someone should persuade the Mong to visit Iceland in order to save us all from the volcano. An unfortunate slip or tumble and the angry Gods are appeased…..
Who cares what the icelanders think? They should pay back the money they owe us.
Are you aware of the phrase “investments can go down as well as up”?
Pratt.
From posterity to austerity
don’t you mean
From prosperity to austerity
107 … from audacity to mendacity.
We came. We taxed. We squandered.
Obviously it is not my decision that counts, but I love this one….
Siamo venuti. Noi tassati. Abbiamo sprecato. (What you said but in Italian).
E’ vero ma non e’ bello.
“New Labour was the failed experiment which landed your grandchildren with so much debt – the perfect storm of corruption and incompetence.”
They spent in the good times, spent in the bad, spent til all the cash was gone. Then spent even more. Yet they wonder what the problem is.
Cash to the left of them
cash to the right of them
wasted and squandered
into the valley of debt
New Labour blundered
**Applause**
while Bankers plundered
and John Prescott chundered
as his fat arse thundered
and the electorate wondered
and eventually wandered.
Then all my flock chundered.
Where they truly buggered?
with debt times a hundred
a quick Afgan war with none dead
No more rhymes, he thundered.
“Vote Tory”, the Sun said
Brown did a superb job of running the economy
The above statement is true: if he was intending to destroy it.
Ere Guido.
Your software’s got hiccups
ruining has an “i” in it and only one “n”.
Straight from the horse’s mouth (aka mandy) ‘ We were in a pit of debt and we kept on digging’.
What more incontrovertible proof of labour’s economic incompetence could there be?
Of course you did mandy. It’s the logical thing to do when your aim is to sabotage the country; just like flooding it with nation smashing levels of immigrants.
People who have spent their entire political lives in activism and subversion against this country are not going to have our best interests at heart if given power.
Labour’s record, Chapter19, the crisis, IT STARTED IN AMERICA IT STARTED IN AMERICA IT STARTED IN AMERICA IT STARTED, oh who are we kidding
War Criminal to friend of the Bankers
Bankers = Rich. The rest of us = Poor
Iraq + Banks = public hate
Fucked up England. Mission accomplished.
“Tony & Gordon’s 13 years of New Labour, makes Jim “crisis what crisis” Callahan look almost competent by comparison”.
When are we going to have an official inquiry about the handling of the nations finances 1997-2007 (or 2010). These bastards shouldn’t be able to spin their way out of their mess and prolong their careers. We also need one to prevent the public finances being debauched in future.
But we also need an inquiry into the immigration rate, and the neccessity for it, over the last decade. These calibans should be held to account, and the Tories should not be so polite and should show anger and the determination to nail these crooks.
Sorry to keep going on about it but if we all wrote to our MPs and demanded an English Parliament, then hopefully the English would never have to suffer a Labour Government again. England is predominately Tory but thanks to the Scottish vote we’ve had to suffer a Labour Government even though they have their own parliament and are immune from most of the decisions made at Westminster. Brown shamefully was ready to form a coalition with the Nats to hang onto power and if he had suceeded, once more England would have been denied the party she voted for. Basically, England has been under foreign rule under Brown and Darling. The Scots still hate Maggie but imagine if the English vote had sent her to govern Scotland but then we voted in a different Government for ourselves. I think there would have be rioting in the
street of Scotland, so why are we English allowing ourselves to be treated like this? Blair and Brown treated England with contempt and we just allowed them to get away with it.
Tony Bliar 1997, “we intend to change the face of the country forever”
Of course ‘Labour wrecked the economy’ is accepted wisdom. It is, and this is less accepted, also the reality!
Of course ‘The Bankers wrecked the economy with the help of Brown’ is accepted wisdom. It is, and this is accepted, also the reality!
and bankers have always been torys
Only as far as profits are concerned. When it comes to losses, they are extremely socialist.
Funny the way incompetent governments invariably blame the money men when the shit hits the fan. Even the Romans did it.
“with the help of Brown”
You omit the people who supported Brown’s destruction of the country and who could have got rid on many occasions. The Labour party, why so ?
Because only a complete fuckwit doesn’t know Brown is the Labour Party
Why are you so eager to let the Bankers scum off the hook chum?
We raided pensions and sold gold cheap while letting the wide boys gamble recklessly. Then we gave them lots of money to help pay their bonuses.
Thanks to Labour I can legally bugger a 16 year old boy. Can’t give him a smoke afterwards though. He’s not allowed and I can’t afford them.
Fags = Pedos
“For 13 years, we did nothing and made our fortunes doing so – I call this brutal success.”
The Current Labour Party take note:
With integrity nothing else counts, without integrity nothing else counts.
“It started in America.”
She is a ginger commie and must be EX TERMIN ATED
My 140 characters
They inherited UK plc with ace balance sheet/P&L. They leveraged it to death, wasting trillions. Leaving a debt riddled & low income economy
With the added bonus of 6 million “new britons”. What happy future awaits us all.
Heard on R4 today that every other baby born in Bradford is to a mother not of British origin.
It was in the context of someone deciding to spend oodles on a research project to find out why child health in Bradford is far worse than UK average.
Why don’t they save the money and just educate ignorant mothers? And while they’re at it, stop them from marrying their cousins (guaranteed to produce a high level of birth defects in offspring)?
But that would offend against their ooman rites (impermissible), exercise of which lands the UK taxpayer with a bill for lifetime care of crippled people (encouraged).
Get a grip, Cameron!
Declare it to be a priority, then completely screw it up with bloated and un-necessary regulation, and finally blame it all on someone else.
Oh kind sir! please tell the public how over-regulated we were!!!
They simply don’t believe us for some strange reason?
Now if you will excuse me I have to go dip my balls in gold with some of my spare bonus millions that I got for my careful stewardship of the Bank.
NOT for spunking all the money away on CDS and CLO toxic security casino bets.
Did you, by any chance, get that gold on the cheap a few years back?
We have been told not to mention the generousity of the Labour party, regarding that particular transaction.
Collusional, delusional asset stripping of the newly factionalised enterprise, formerly the sovereign nations comprising the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland.
Labour’s slogan was that “things can only better” and they made that ever more true over 13 years.
Things can only get better
Can only get, can only get
They get on from here
Now that we’ve lost you
“Gordon gives people with mental illnes a bad name “
“Labour – we promised 0% growth and we did our very best to deliver on the promise”
Iraq Banks
EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE Die Labour die! And NEVER come back. Every time one of these vile leftists speak in the HoC the opposition should collectively cry SHAME! (or Bollocks!) at them. Labour should be buried in a lime pit and never exhumed and the ground sown with salt. Labour was and is evil and the DEMON EYES which Itchi and Scratchy came up with was spot on. Blame Blair as he put Brown at the economic helm of the ship of state. But Blair is too busy brining peace on earth to care. What a group of vile, greedy, vain wankpots they all are.
The last Government was a disaster and none of the current pretenders to the dubious NuNuLab throne had any morals whatsoever, they were happy to go along till the train hit the buffers and the cash ran out, what scum.
On a more amusing note I see our glorious un-elected leader David Cameron and assorted near do well’s sporting righteous indignation that some of the population has shown compassion, sympathy and sorrow for Mr Moat.
It is interesting to see how the boot of hypocrisy seems to be “one size fits all”
“All in it together” as long as you support our argument, otherwise you are totally worthless.
Expect burnings and duck pond legislation any time soon.
Old boss new boss
moaty is a legend just ask gazza
Gazza’s lager fuelled Moaty mercy mission has landed him back in rehab, according to the Sun.
He really is the living embodiment of Eight Ace
“Ah’m gonna buy some chicken and tek it to Moaty, and ahm not gonna get pissed”
10 minutes later in the off-licence…
“That will be £1.89 sir”
Is it true Gazza went to Rothbury because he heard there could be some shots?
Labour stood idly by as Brown buggered Britain.
Labour stood idly by as Brown buggered ENGLAND and sent our hard earned cash to his fellow countrymen so they could have the free personal care, the free cancer drugs, the free tuitions fees, the free prescriptions, the frozen council tax etc. etc. that us poor sods south of the border have to pay for.
You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.
“Even the Guardian gave up on the New Labour project”.
Prudence comes before a fall.
Flog off the gold, wreck business, mortgage the economy, nationalise the banks, sponsor the unions, and save the Pound – all without trying.
Bumped
http://www.youtube.com/user/91177info
Labours economic record: One Sam wont be asked to play again
140 characters or less, here goes.
wankers, twats, arseholes, liars, murderers, useless, c u n t z
cons
W.M.D. R.B.S.
Where’s that Bastard Campbell
“Labour – tough on jobs, tough on the causes of jobs.”
“Found it. Nicked it. Spent it.”
I wish to vote for #50
Tough on economic stability, tough on the causes of economic stability
Hoon and bust.
“If there was a omlypic gold medal for wrecking the econmy then labour would win gold every time “
Jonah Jinxes Jobs
Prosperous,need more cash.Sell gold.Raid pensions.More tax,spend it all.Banking crash,no cash,spend anyway,hello bust my old Labour friend
And every one of these shudders are now millionaires. Even fucking Prescott.
I think we’ve been had.
and the new lot are trainee millionaires
No Labour politicians use their experience of government and holding office as an opportunity to obtain personal wealth ; Tory politicians mostly, and now seemingly Liberal Politicos as well, are wealthy before taking office. We may resent the one, but the Labour way is corrupt.
That should read of course, ” No, Labour politicians….”
Just read this piece of piss written by Jonathan Freedland in 2002 and kak yourself laughing:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2002/may/01/uk.fiveyearsoflabour
In the Sion Simon class.Freedland is a prize ass.
…so tell me, did people volunteer their own money to pay for such toadying fluff?
Seems to me that the piece was edited by Mary moist knickers for Gordon Riddell
David Kelly to Fred Goodwin
to Lord Presscott
And we actually fooled the people for 13 years that we were fiscally competent?
Yes we had to make cut backs. flying in the helicopter to the news agents.Now the handyman has to go in the Bentley, the chauffeur had to go too.
£4.84 Trillion of Liabilities. Well done.
In fairness, the National Debt in 1997 stood at about £347 billion, and public sector unfunded pension liabilities also existed, but at a lower figure than today.
We can only really blame Labour for about £3.5 trillion of that. There was about £1.3 trillion there in ’97.
So to summarise – debt accumulated 1690 – 1997, about £1.3 trillion. Addition to debt 1997 – 2010 £3.5 trillion, give or take a bit.
Thanks a fucking bundle, Labour.
Labour: Stealing your money to buy someone else’s vote.
The issue I have with trying to describe Labour’s economic record in a single tweet is that 140 characters is not even close to being enough to truly express what utter cu
Tough on wealth… tough on the creators of wealth
Steal, spend, squander, swindle, spin and spoof. Not necessarily in that order.
Labour’s Record: spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt.
Labour: Spending your money to assuage their guilt.
There’s no money left
Labour : 13, England : Nil.
With apologies to William Topaz McGonagall
Beautiful economy of the great UK
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That billions of pounds have been taken away
Since that terrible day in May 97
When the bankers of Britain entered the kingdom of heaven.
Good work. Dundee’s greatest citizen would be proud.
nos taxed,we prodigo quod nos lost
nos no rus ruris tumultus
Balls pro rector
British jobs for foreign workers
0
You really fucked up CamerHunt
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/RIP-RAOUL-MOAT-YOU-LEGEND-3/131022780267789?v=wall&story_fbid=129570263750811
To be fair, a large number of the comments are critical/insulting/abusive of Moat and the supporting comments appear to have been written by semi-literate morons.
In the eyes of some of the labour marxists they did not destroy the economy at all. They improved it. They hate capitalism (yet love the benefits it brings them) they hate the electorate being independent (so get as many of them reliant on the state as possible) they hate free enterprise (so over-regulate businesses with red tape) they hate bankers (so give them enough rope and they will hang themselves, thus turning public opinion against them…and opening the way for mass nationalisation) These people are the scum of the earth, they played silly student politics with our economy, and we’ll be paying for generations.
I fear that what you say is true – and that it represents only a tiny corner of the deceptions which these vile ideologues have foisted upon a naïve populace unused to being hoodwinked upon such an epic scale.
Excellent! Wish I could have put it so pithily.
Can’t enter the competition, I’m afraid. There’s just too much to say!
New Labour’s economic policy can be summed up straightforwardly in four points.
1) Give minimum wage and benefits to the lower classes. Tax these and keep them down through absurd marginal tax rates.
2) Inflate house prices for the middle classes. Tax the inflation.
3) Lax regulation for the plutocrats. Take donations and political praise in exchange.
4) Let any foreign corporation buy any British industry. This will look like a responsible “let business get on with it attitude”.
Labour’s record is a generation of failure. Sadly, this is of course entirely predictable. The UK has aggregately invested in inflation and mediocrity instead of productive engineering and education. Now, the skills for recovery are simply not there and the brain drain will definitely not help.
I think that Guido is right here: as long as we have a Socialist natural party of opposition we have a major structural problem in the UK. How can anyone invest in the UK over the long term if they know that this recurring nightmare is on the horizon in 5 or 10 years? One in which non-assimilated immigrants and the most ignorant and idle of our population hand over power to a party with a record of near total failure every time it has been given a go. We need to go Canadian and return to Liberal/Conservative swap overs and leave Labour in the margins of politics where its uselessness can’t keep on destroying the country.
OK then!
Labour’s economic record in a tweet:
“Tax everything. Spend proceeds on interest groups. Economy flops. Even interest groups abandon Labour. Country wrecked. Start again.”
Good list, but deficient (though you touched on the omission later). You missed out the change-the-face-of-Britain policy, the one that let in millions of people with no affinity to the cultures of these islands.
That and its after-effects will be the lasting legacy, one that dooms the UK to possibly a very nasty future.
Remember that 100,000 people of the kind who tend to visit m*o*s*q*u*e*s replied to a recent poill that they approved entirely of the 7/7 London bombings. That is, complete approval; no criticism whatsoever. Ponder that, fellow subjects.
The enemy within wasn’t the NUM, Maggie, it was an entirely different group.
Sorry, 100,000 didn’t reply to a poll, of course – that number is a projection on to the entire group of the appropriate proportion of the polled sample.
Oh, and it wasn’t the Banque Nationale de Paris that conducted it but YouGov, scarcely known for their anti-immigrants stance.
Old Communism, New Laboredness. New Communism, Old Laboredness.
Laboredness Communism, New Leaderless Election,
Anyone can run a country with an open chequebook – the trick to doing it well is when you have a credit limit.
Anyone can run a Bank with an open chequebook – the trick to doing it well is when you have a credit limit.
The working class can kiss my ass i’ve got my hands on the till now.
Chinese rating agency downgrades U.S. Britain and France from AAA
http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6307903-chinese-rating-agency-downgrades-us-britain-and-france-from-aaa
http://www.dagongcredit.com/dagongweb/uf/Sovereign%20Credit%20Rating%20Report%20of%2050%20Countries%20in%202010.pdf
You can bugger orf!
The sun has finally set on the Western Empire.
VENI, VIDI, VICI
and when you put it that way you did.
We’re in the money, we’re in the money, let’s tax some, spend some, lend some, and squander the lot…
After leaving Granita in 1994 with neither Brown nor Blair paying the bill, we should have realised they would eventually do a runner with the UK economy.
gambling with savings was like taking candy
Liebour we lie and cheat but still 34% of the country believe in us,we must be doing something right or could it be the right aren’t right.
No Albie! 34% of the country don’t know right from wrong.
29% actually.
ignore the polls – the only accurate one is the election.
13 years of third-rate Lefties feeding off the benefits of 18 years of Conservative government, leaving behind an entirely negative legacy.
18 years of workers production
Ah, but non-unionised workers.
Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Gordon Brown: I came, I spent, I’m bonkers.
We have a winner. One big red book for that man.
Liebour Always Blunders On Until Rejected
Cameron : You wrecked the econonmy you one eyed scottish idiot!
Brown : Am I bothered, face, bothered, bothered I aint bothered!!
Blair Brown warmonger clown
I’m 18 with a bullet
Cameron’s got his finger on the trigger
He doesn’t have to pull it.
How apt. From the song ‘ police & thieves ‘.
borrow, feel good grin; borrow feel good win; borrow bribe survive, Brown scowl lie; borrow borrow now; bugger bust bye
Dubya’s poodle to lost his noodle
NeoCon War wrong Blair gone Brown mong
along comes CamerHunt n Cleggeron singing same song
So Wot
Shall we try
“A Ponzi fantasy based upon failed ideas & a mountain of debt, implemented by a paranoid megalomaniac & a party unable to tell him the truth”
cake and votes today ….financial serfdom tomorrow
sell cheap , buy dear
Veni, vidi, defeci!
(I came I saw I failed)
with apologies to J Caesar
Skimreading, I read that initially as “veni, vidi, defecate,” did a double-take then re-mis-read it as “veni, vidi, deficit.” The irony is that both Freudian slips of the eyeballs summarise Labour’s record as accurately as yours.
Radix malorum est cupiditas
lie, lie, lie, distort, destroy Tony, destroy Tony, destroy, destroy, oh God they are coming for me
2 + 2 = 6
debt is good, debt is good
Look what the lowlifes at the Sun say.if you have a security camera you are a Moat,check picture of camera.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article3054599.ece
“This is one of the things I’m suggesting. And to me that would be the most, you know, spend some money on trying to get this family back together instead of splitting it up.
“If I’m at fault myself in any way, I’m open to all kinds of suggestions, but I refuse to spend the rest of my time fighting with social services.”
Not Fit For Purpose
“You lot are now all in it together – ha ha !
But some of us are more ‘in it’ than others.
use the Treasury as a sandpit to keep Gordon happy while the rest of us govern
Boom, bust, spin, stab, no-boom no-bust, shock awe boom splat, smear, stab, no-boom, coup stab no-coup, bust, spin, boost, vote…. oh bum!
Altogether – The sun will come out tomorrow, I’ve bet your very last dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun, tomorrow you’re always a day away
It wasn’t me….it was a big boy whot dun it
And then I run away as fast as I could all the way to Kirkcaldy.
I just did what Ed told him
A slipped disc of scratched and broken vinyl stuck in the same groove but still slowly revolving on Aunties old gramophone.
In ‘97 they were elected. In 2010 they were rejected. Stole our pensions, sold our gold. Hushed up Kelly, never to be told.
and the bankers are still spending our money
Labour = Fair For All…AAAAAAAHHH HHAAA HAAAA HA HA HA HA AAAAAAAAHHHH HA HA HHHAAA HA HA HHHAA HA (breathes) AAAAAAAAHHH HAHHAHA HAA HAAA
Blairs rise
Iraq Lies
Prescott punch
Brown’s out to lunch
This video explains it well:
I know the feeling…
The UK’s virile economy under New Labour, simply explained.
Dearest Deborah
For your latest comments I award you a zero percent rise in credibility. You are partially responsible for bolstering a deluded prime minister by being paid to tell him what he wanted to hear. Pollsters should be appointed by party committees and where possible civil service when public money is being spent to ensure impartiality and quality of response via a transparent tendering system. Its your own blasted fault you’re out of work – try working for those twats at Unite they’ve got money to waste.
May GB be flushed into the sewers of history like the turd he is. The only people I blame more are those who supported him and the Labour party for so long. How in the name of FUCK did Labour get so many votes in May? There are less painful ways of committing suicide.
I hate Brown for all he has done and hope he gets face cancer.
(to the tune of the spam song)
Scum scum scum scum, scum scum scum scum
Scummmmm labour are scummmm!
how creative.
The scum is rising to the top of the Labour talent pool.
.
New morning
Blair frowning
Brown gurning
Banks burning
‘Ashcroft’
Braniff Airlines. “When you got it, flaunt it.” It didn’t have it and it went bust. Brownish Flight of Fancy? Crashes and burns.
It was Sue’s fault
dis labour gordon brown he do the good economy he cona me he cona u he cona everybodies apart from the guido.
Guido rainbow lizard,change colours
Why tweet?
System working well: Send more money.
Pissed and broke.
want more crumbs from the table than anyone else? Then come to us.
Super long super sticky tongues.Grafted onto your own tongue now.get them while the goings good.Everyone will want one when the conservatives make their cuts.
War Criminal Lies Expenses Credit Crunch Pies
every house divided against itself shall not stand
fucking semi detached your right my lord.
Lords Mandelson & Prescott. ’nuff said.
Lieing warmongering overspending inward looking
fuckwitsidiots who abolished only the boomSee you Jimmy. Giz a tenner fur a cuppa. Maggie stole the bairns and ate them. In Iraq I was, fur you. Sachanach bastard ye are. Taxi! Notting Hill.
RT @labourgoverment: Fuck you. Fuck you all. Ahahahahaha!!!!! << actual policy
‘It was a global recession that started in America, caused by the Banks. We saved the world from depression and the coalition are putting the recovery at risk by cutting too early’…..repeat at every opportunity and someone might believe it
Labour – a contradiction of the word.
Labour it did not work
It all started in Scotland
do do do
dah dah dah
That is all I have to say to you
Ed Miliband for leader of the Labour Party
Go on Ed
Union source confirms, Ed Miliband is getting GMB backing – big coup for his candidacy
what no link?
Hooray! Hooray for Dixie!
{and Pixie too of course.}
We all know Ed Balls is Jinx
Bush and Blair warcriminal chums, Brown fucks it up with Banker scum
New Labour – indebting your grand kids since 1997
Gordon Brown was the Viv Nicholson of British politics – Spend, spend, spend.
With hindsight we should have known that an innumerate political scientist and a calculator with no minus sign was going to be a fuck up.
Worked to reengineer society, redistribute wealth, create workers paradise, on the paradigm of beliefs; blocked by inherited stasis of Thatcherism.
A sociopath was put in charge of the economy. Bad start. With sociopaths, it always ends in tears.
Billy Joel defends Labour..
We didn’t start the liar
MP’s were always earning
Since before Gordon’s gurning..
We didn’t start the recession
America went bust
And it was nothing to do with us..
We didn’t start the deficit,
it was already like it
‘cos thatcher didn’t give a shit..
We didn’t start the liar
MP’s were always earning
Since before Gordon’s gurning..
We didn’t start the spending
But we did enjoy it
So we really stoked it
Five-a-day, smoking ban, Mandelson is back again,
Health trusts, failing schools, Railtrack, Northern Rock
George Bush, Cherie Blair, stealth tax, Kelly’ died
Gordon’s smile, dinkin’ laws, Tony never lied.
Immigrants on the shores, three thousand new laws
Bigotgate illegal wars, I can’t take it anymore …
We didn’t start the liar
MP’s were always earning
Since before Gordon’s gurning..
We didn’t start the spending
But we did enjoy it
So we really stoked it..
Government by, for and of Hunts.
Landslide Blair lied Kelly died Banks fried Brown goes bye bye
NeoCon War wrong Blair gone Brown mong
Chameleons revealed as Chimera by Paul the Octopus.
Fish always stinks from the head downwards
Is that incoherent enough to cause confusion?
“Labour’s economic records: 33, 45 and 78 – all depressions”
Self enriching career politicians with no real life experience or moral fibre buying today’s headline with tomorrow’s money.
Tractor production in the Ukraine is up 300%.
A croque of s***?
Labour :
would take your last rolo
Cillit Labour! Bang! And the money has gone!
Labour= prudence on crack !
no one owes anyone else anything. Its all a con to enslave you all. The minority will live lives of excellence while the rest slave to make it that way for them.debt is a trick by jooos
Get a German dictionary, ffs. Otherwise your postings could be mistaken for those of an illiterate f@ckwit.
Gordon inherited a stable economy, reaped windfall tax, gold & mobile licences&still went over budget 200bill FY01-08. Before the recession.
Bellend.
http://blog.mozilla.com/addons/2010/07/13/add-on-security-announcement/
If Harriet is outtwitted again will this be her excuse?
I can’t claim this is mine, but I thought this phrase summed it up well:
‘Labour: vote them in with empty heads, vote them out with empty wallets’
I remember my wallet prior to 97 it wasn’t full.
Yeh, me too.
should have worked harder then you idle layabout.
Labour = Economic with the truth but not with your taxes
Conservatives. never re cindered a law labour brought in.
Hip Packs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevention_of_Terrorism_Act_%28Northern_Ireland%29#Powers_contained_in_the_Acts
ID Cards.
Contact Point database
Section 44 (stop and search without reason)
and hopefully LOADS more on the way from the Repeal Bill in a couple of months’ time.
Friend of fatherless!
Fountain of happiness!
Lord of the swill-bucket!
Oh, how my soul is on
Fire when I gaze at thy
Calm and commanding eye,
Like the sun in the sky,
Comrade Brown
Gordon Brown = So unlucky Treats would melt in his hands !
Labour’s record is the same as Mandelson’s description of their election campaign: Futile, finished, fucked.
My invisible friend said I did well
The dark eleventh hour
Draws on and sees us sold
For every evil power
We fight against of old.
Jealousy, class and hate,
Oppression, wrong and greed
Are loosed to rule our fate,
By New Labour’s act and deed.
First you must burn the cattle and the sheep
Then the horses and the hounds.
Then you must burn the people.
You must cut rural England out of all the maps,
The history books, out of the old newspapers,
And burn all these; and burn also
The books, paintings, poems and photographs.
And when you have burnt all these
You must bury the ashes
You must guard the graves
Labour = We have taken 1 million African children out of poverty
from Squalid mud huts without running wateror sanitation
and housed them in palatial houses that you could never dream of living in !
Thats the one guido
you’re certainly a mental fucker
Looks like Ed Millipede for Liebour leader, fuck me he’s worse than Hattie or Abbott
David’s career is over.I always prefered Ed.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2010/jul/14/torture-documents-foreign-office-government
Don’t follow leaders
No. 1 lesson for successful government: upgrade the figures and not the infrastructure.
A 140 (or less) letter bon mot should henceforth be known as a twaiku, Guido.
Mad, bad and bankrupting to go through.
UK debt 97 £1.5 trillion
UK debt 10 £ 3.5 trillion
New Labour Ponzi scheme
Greatest fraud in British history
“Light touch” City meltdown
Crime and immigration bust
What did you expect after 18 years of tory mismanagement? We were just on the verge of an historic breakthrough!
In 1997 who on Earth would have bet
Gordon Brown would have left us a five Trillion pound debt ?
It never did get better
Mr Cable it seems breaks road traffic laws http://kenningtonpob.blogspot.com/2010/07/vip-flouts-parking-regulations.html
Labour – fucking up since 1900
Anyone who has ever been to university knows that there was always a nest of filth hanging round the students union thieving the funds and organising hate marches.
They were of course Nazi socialists.
I’m a Labour man.
I haven’t got a brain.
Me fatha voted Labour.
I’ll always do the same.
I used to word down t’pit.
I used to dig up coal.
But f’t past 30 years.
I’ve been on the dole.
Me daughters got 4 kids.
All from different men.
She gets more on benefits.
Than she’d get workin 2 til 10.
A free house and a holiday.
More booze than Ollie Reed.
She smokes her fags and smacks hers kids.
And then goes smokin’ weed.
I’m a Labour man.
They call me workin class.
But that’s a load of bollocks.
I spend my time on my ass.
Workin is for dickeads.
I get my cash for free.
Enough to see me down t’pub.
Every day til 3.
I’m on benefits, you see.
I’m claiming for me back.
It’s easier than working.
I’ll never get the sack.
I laugh at all those workers.
Who scrimp and try and save.
They work all day for fuck all pay.
Then end up in the grave.
Labour have been good to us.
They gave me things for free.
A house, a car, free meals and cash.
I’ve paid for nothing, me.
I’ve scrounged and lied and scrounged some more.
I drink lager from a can.
I’m a grasping fat arse shithouse.
I am a Labour man.
Apologies if this is over 140 characters…
I’ll get you Butler….
I’m gonna get that tattooed on my @rse.
The Gordon Brown’s constituents sing ‘in Dire Straits’
I want my own MP..
I want my own MPeeee
We ain’t working,
That’s the way to do it
Money for nothing
and cheques for free.
Look at them bozos
Let me tell you we ain’t dumb,
maybe get a blister on our rollin’ finger
Maybe get a blister on our bum.
After much consideration Stan – I nominate your contribution as ‘the best’
PS I knew your brother Claude from whom I purchased a racing bicycle some while back
I got MY pay rise on merit. The tax payer is getting value for money for my services!
“My husband, my hero.”
If you don’t agree you’re a bigot.
Yep.
Public sector..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-10650160
‘Not trained to remove road kill’ FFS !!!!!!!!!
Another perfect example of socialist Jobsworths in
inaction.Nicely positioned – makes a change from Cat’s Eyes
” This is the debt I pay
Just for one riotous day,
Years of regret and grief,
Sorrow without relief ”
G. Brown E. Balls
Labour’s economic record? It was all about Gordon – victim of the yanks, victim of the banks – he did try though, wanker. No more boom & bust.
Q: A new dawn has broken, has it not? A: (13 yrs on): No, it is not broken! Anyway, it started in America. Definitely not my fault.
Are you lot still here,theres a new one out now.
http://order-order.com/2010/07/15/ed-balls-campaign-diary-16/#comment-661615
We’re all fucked. I’m fucked. You’re fucked. The whole department is fucked. It’s the biggest cock-up ever. We’re all completely fucked.
My 13 years as a State sponsored economic terrorist cost me my marriage to Prudence and broke you too.
My 13 years as a state-sponsored economic terrorist cost me my marriage to Pru, my sanity and it broke Britain too
Sum up Liebour in 4 characters or less. We will call it a ‘Twat’ rather than a Tweet.
Shit
Wank
Toss
Cnut
IRAQ
The first thing that New Labour did was remove the death penalty for treason, things went downhill from there
NuLabour. We tried a ‘one policy fits all situation ‘ approach. Throw money at it.
It didn’t work. Tough. Get over it. We Have.
The buck stops here. T Blair.
For buck substitute
yen
dollar
rouble
rand
renminbi
euro
any tradable currency.
Short twitter version:
Iraq lies, honour dies, Dr Kelly suicide,Cover up overide.Brown chicken shit,a record deficit.Britain Banks are bust,Economy into dust.
Long version:
Favours for f1,
policy corruption.
Petrol strike nation stops,
FMD rural flops.
Robbin Cook,
What the Fuck?
Iraq lies,
honour dies,
Dr Kelly suicide,
Cover up into overide.
Gordon Brown chicken shit,
builds a record deficit.
Britain where the Banks are bust,
Turn the Economy into dust.
Like it!
So she ‘won’ all these contracts ‘on merit’? Wonder what her competitors say nad what the tendering process was. Wonder also how much business she was ‘winning’ before Brown. Still she’s had a good run. Time to retire from the rigours, (or is that riggers?) no doubt.
For ‘nad’ read ‘and’.
On second thoughts, don’t.
From fiscal rectitude to rectal fistitude in two short years.
Dipso, Fatso, Asbo, Tesco, Spendo, taxo, bust.. oh!
Bungtakingsleazemakingwarcreatingdossierfabricatingboomendingbustchampioningcreditcrunchinglegislationpushingidcarddemandingvotelosingexpensesfiddlingtaxhikingdebtbuildinginflationcreatinggoldselllingpensiontaxing mess of a government
Has a ring to it.
jaw, lie, war, lie, sell cheap, lie, spend, spend, spend, lie, back stab, war, lie, lie, backstab, lie, print, print, print, lie, lie, cry
education education education we all learnt our economic policies at the Erich Honecker university of Leipzig on how to destroy capitalism
Find a pot of gold: waste it.
Then borrow a pot of gold: fritter it away.
So “stealth” a pot of gold: pretend none of it ever happened.
To paraphrase a term from computing:
BIBO: Brown in, brown out.
Education, Education, Education, we got it, you want it, no one can afford it. At least the gays got to marry, while the bankers fucked us.
I’m proud of Nu Labours record, there are record numbers of Brown hatters in the UK today Sponsored by GaysRus
Apologists for the past Labour government are still trying to put the blame on “the banks” for ruining the economy.
In reality, two banks in Scotland and two ex-building societies in the North-East of England went bankrupt. Each of them was located in Labour-voting areas, and each of them was run by New Labour types. Huge sums of tax-payers’ money were used by the Labour government to prop them up, and a solvent London-based bank (Lloyds TSB) was dragged by its New Labour-supporting chairman into merging with one of the failed Scottish banks, with disastrous results for its own balance sheet.
Remember that, next time you hear the Labour apologists trying to “blame the banks.”
Fuck off you banker wanker scumbag.
THEY BOTH DID IT.
BOTH. BROWN AND THE BANKERS.
NEITHER FUCKER GETS LET OFF THE HOOK.
The only apologist here is you for the Banking scumbags.
Brown let you bankers bring the Economy to it’s knees.
Because he’s an economic fuckwit and you are greedy thieves.
Never has so much been owed by so many, for so little.
It wasn’t us. A big boy did it and ran away.
Anatomy of the Labour years – Cock, Arsehole and Balls
Debt from here to eternity
Prescilla…queen of the economic desert
Yea, verily and before the cock crowed David, Ed, Tony, Peter and all the other disciples disowned him at the Temple and said ‘He’s not with us’
Tony Blair, so bad Cameron copies everything about him.
Useless fools bankrupt country as usual.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha, Boom! Boom!”
- Basil Brush -
sold the gold ,raided the pension funds,saved the world,printed more billions,oh fuck we ran out of ink.
Wonder how much business she is winning “on merit” from the government now?
Answer – “None”
Dolchstosslegende* – “We won on merit under clean Labour. Under the corrupt Tories what chance do we have?”
*The Stab In The Back Legend – used by the Nazis to “explain” why the Germans lost WWI. An early example of spin.
[...] the usual dross there were a few amusing 140-character entries. Congratulations to HPDL for the winning entry: “Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered. Gordon Brown: I came, I [...]
(To quote Arnie S from Total Recall)
Shit! Shit! Shit!
(No Johnycabs were injured during this post)
Mentioning a real politician in a story about Labour. Clever.
[...] Prize Competition: Explain Labour’s Record in a Tweet Deborah Mattinson, formerly the Brown bunker’s favourite pollster*, was wailing last night to a Mirror hack and [...] [...]