July 15th, 2010

Bonking Boris Round-Up

Guido did hint at this back in June when there were febrile rumours of injunctions, newspapers camped on doorsteps and even a bastard baby Boris.

The Mirror says there is no suggestion of an affair and then suggests exactly that, while the high-minded Guardian uses the excuse of Helen McIntyre’s unannounced involvement in his “Olympian Erection” to justify its coverage, quoting a Boris spokesman saying that it was the Mayor’s “enthusiasm for private philanthropy” that meant her appointment as a fundraiser on the project had never been publicly announced. Boris clearly likes a bit of “private philanthropy” on the side.

Over at The Evening Standard they explain how this simple ‘friendship’ drove McIntyre apart from her billionaire partner Pierre Rolin. She later reported Rolin for harassment – but not before she’d found time to shag date William Cash, son of Tory MP Bill. So she clearly has a penchant for Tories.

Currently the City Hall game-plan is to say nothing, a plan that has worked up until this morning, given that the rumours have been swirling around since before the general election. Nobody is likely to confess to having had an affair and it is hard to see Ken making an issue of it given the five kids he has fathered by three different women (impressively managing to get two women simultaneously pregnant). Neither is Lembit likely to raise sexual athletics as an issue. The London mayoral contest is not going to be lacking for virility…

It could still get a little embarrassing for Boris, Charles Moore cracks this joke about Boris in speeches “I told Boris I don’t care what he does in his private life and he told me ‘Nor do I’ “.  There is also an attractive American woman who escaped to New York and entertains friends in Manhattan with anecdotes about her pursuit by Boris. His chat up line to her she says was, “I limit myself to one mistress per annum. How would you like to be Miss 2009?” Guido reckons Boris is nevertheless electorally bullet-proof, since it won’t be news to the voters that he is a serial shagger…


  1. 1
    Lord Prescott of Butter Chicken says:

    Good on ya, lad! I had me vuvuzela blown loadsa times by lasses.

    • 7
      Bonker johnson says:

      Piss off Jags – I’ve seen the slappers you go for!

      • 116
        Chris Huhne says:

        But can she fuck you up the vuvuzela with a strap on Bojo?
        My mistress can.

        So welcome to the club Bojo old man! We are the coalitions clowns.

        Shagger Nokes is serving the drinks and the man with the bag over his head in the corner is David Laws.

    • 8
      Engineer says:

      Is sex a politics substitute?

      • 35
        Chief Whip says:

        A valuable substitute Engineer…

        When the population and politicians are collectively vacuous it fills the pages of the tabloids…better than how they had homo gang bangs in 10 Dowing Street under Madman Brown…

        And any publicity is better than no publicity at all etc…

        • 112
          Et tu Coulson? says:

          Dave did not authorise me to bring Boris down a peg or two by having a quiet word around the street of shame

          Dave is in no way enjoying Boris’s discomfort

          He is laughing hysterically due to Nick Clegg is tickling him, not because of this

      • 236
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        I’d give up politics first.

    • 9
      Boris Campaign Team Slogan says:

      Go Forth and Shag For London – At Least We’re Not Fucked Like Labour

    • 20
      The Court of Public Opinion says:

      Boris isn’t a patch on the master.

    • 66
      Sarah Teather's Love Child says:

      My Mum says he could my Dad, but it was dark at the time and she wasn’t tall enough to see his face…

      • 128
        Shagger Nokes says:

        That’s not very a very Chrisitian attitude.
        Would you like to sing ‘Praise the Lord’ while watching me getting fucked up the arse ?

  2. 2
    HenryV says:

    Please sir, how did Ken get two women pregnant simultaneously? I know he is a complete dick, but this is stretching it >snigger< a bit far…….

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have never cheated on my beloved wife, Ms Macauley.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Introduce a “shag-o-thon” to the Olympics.

    Enter England football team and selected Politicos, Gold medal assured.

  5. 5
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    OK, Guido, fascinating titillation – but is this really all you could find worth writing about? If so, Westminster must be a very dull place at the moment.

    Let’s have stuff that really matters, as you usually supply.

    • 40
      Peter Sellars says:


      Sadly there are only two camps left in Westminster

      One recovering from total baboon style madness of which we have had enough

      And the other camp is desperately trying to get us out of the hole that the former dug

      But it is so deep that we will not see them for a number of years…

      No little real news I am afraid…

    • 140
      THE PARTY LINE says:


  6. 6
    rick says:


  7. 10
    Imagine John Prescott without Bulimia says:

    Boris is actually popular, will take something more than a simple affair to hurt him, however the Left Wing DTM go about it

    • 28
      Annie get your gun says:

      Can’t he do Ellie for a night ?

      That would screw the Left for a while…

    • 29
      Anonymous says:

      A dose of Clap ? STD ?

    • 305
      cant hunter says:

      One thing is certain; Boris would never ever stoop to engage in Ugandan discussions with Sally slack knickers Bercow. I’m watching Question Time at the present ( Why ? It gets worse and worse) and she is a grade A dog. And not only that but her voice would have any man who married her soon praying for deafness. Suddenly I feel soory for the Westminster half pint.

      • 328
        Erich Honecker says:

        Bercow, with the emphasis on cow. Archetypal champagne socialist bubblehead..what a fucking embarrassment. The panel as per usual was stacked with statist idiots, and Andy Pandy how-does-my-makeup-look-im-a-tough-northerner-spending-all-your-fucking-money Burnham needs to grow a tumour and be processed the by vacuous boxtickers that he defends so much. Grotesque little shitstain, had all the mugs clapping on cue.

  8. 11
    concrete pump says:

    One Boris Johnson
    There’s only one Boris Johnson
    One Boris Johhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnson
    There’s only one Boris Johnson.

  9. 15
    Unsworth says:

    Serial shagger, eh? What, like fucking cornflakes?

    Still this is a fine upstanding tradition for Mayors and candidates. Remember Shagger Norris? He did a fair amount of upstanding.

  10. 16
    Jimmy says:

    “impressively managing to get two women pregnant simultaneously”

    I know some people have six fingers but this still strikes me as implausible. although it might explain his popularity.

  11. 18
    Bob says:

    Shagging adds to the pleasures of life

    It also perpetuates the human race which is of some importance…

    Nice breath of fresh air after all those boring Zanu knob jockeys…

    Good for BoJo…

    • 26
      Jack says:

      I think BoJo should do a run around with Diane Abbot

      They could then frequent the gay cottaging bars together and invent

      a new danse called the “BoJo Boogle Woogle” which would be an instant hit among

      the illiterate untermensch of London

      A guarantee to be re-elected with a huge majority I would say…

    • 122
      David Laws says:

      It certainly does.

  12. 21
    Ken Livingscum says:

    When questioned I bet he uses that old excuse of his, ‘The blessed sponge of amnesia has wiped the slate of memory clean’.

  13. 23
    Nick2 says:

    It’s a shame that the next mayoral election voting slip won’t have a ‘none of the above’ tick box…

  14. 25
    Fuck Labour says:

    BoJo loves getting BJs before breakfast.

    Whereas GB loves doing jobbies before breakfast.

    • 124

      doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies doing jobbies

      • 380
        I Fucking Loathe Tesco says:

        I’d like to pick up a dog’s jobbie and stick it in his good eye, the Scottish cyclopic idiot.

  15. 30
    Chief Whip says:

    In three or four years time the British Electorate will want another Caligula for the tittle tattle…

    Boris is the man….

  16. 31
    Y Fronts says:

    It’s all that cycling you see, it stimulates the pheremones.

  17. 32
    The Huhney Monster says:

    Boris’s lady isn’t as hot as my Carina Trim-ingham.

  18. 34
    Fuck Labour says:

    The gruesome Oona Hunt is debating with Ken Livingstone on ITV tonight. Unfortunately it clashes with This Week, with Brillo grilling Blinky. I want to see Brillo hopefully annihilate Blinky Bollocks.

    • 64
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Well I want Blinky to come up trumps and surge to the front of the contest.

      • 95
        Hugh Janus says:

        Exactly, then he can sink NuLiebour out of sight. It’ll be a bit quiet on here, though.

    • 97
      HenryV says:

      With reference to my earlier question. Will this result in Oona becoming pregnant? If I watch it will I become pregnant? Will I get maternity and paternity leave? And if so will that be concurrently or sequentially?

    • 141
      Nick2 says:

      Diane Abbott seems to be unreconstructed Old Labour, but every interview that I’ve seen of late with Dr King makes her seem to be Harriet Harman’s successor.

      Oona King may regret having her views and comments given wider publicity. Her strongest card may be that some people mistake her for Diane Abbott…

  19. 41
    Most of us says:

    Fuck with my family and I will fuck with yours

  20. 42
    MI7 says:

    “I limit myself to one mistress per annum. How would you like to be Miss 2009?”

    LOL, Good chat up line I’ll remember that one.

  21. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Go Boris!

    I’ll have to remember that line… perhaps one per timezone per year would work

    Ms GMT 2010

    oh.. and the chinese year … not sure Miss Horse would work though.

  22. 47
    Caroline nokes says:

    Did I hear serial shagger shagger mentioned?

  23. 48
    Boris says:

    Can I just make it clear: “abusus non tollit usum” – which means “misusing something does not mean it can’t be used correctly”.
    I have always used my tool in a proper and an appropriate manner.
    These rumours are a monstrous mutton-dagger of mumbo-jumbo

  24. 53
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    I prefer to see the Tory Party disappear in a cloud of shagging

    That all those Zanu poofs…

  25. 55
    doodles says:

    What is it about women that they love pricks and clowns and sometimes clowns who are pricks?

  26. 62
    Lord Prezza of Five Bellies says:

    When it comes to the old pork sword, Boris is a mere amateur!

    • 68
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      Prezza’s boast is that he can give them a good seeing to whilst eating a couple of growlers, and not a crumb of pastry falls on their tits.

      He’s a class act.

    • 69
      Peter Grimes says:

      Yeah but his is apparently a scimitar compared to your (legal sized) penknife!

    • 153
      Chris Huhne says:

      you’re not wrong there

  27. 67
    Peter Grimes says:

    A ‘penchant for Tories’. Probably because they don’t all try to take her up the rear passage as most ZaNuLieBor types do! Or perhaps she doesn’t approve of dogging/badger baiting on Clapham Common!!

    • 113
      I says:

      If you also know about Darling, will you spill the beans? Not just once, but twice, how did the MSM miss this one?

  28. 70
    Gordon Brown runs away from Nursie again says:

    Vote for meeeee! I was a great PM!!! I have a beard, I mean wife! She has two sons, I mean WE have two sons! Vote for meeeee! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  29. 77
    Veritas says:

    Ken Livingstone, 5 children , 3 women ?????? But he’s nearly as ugly as Gordon Brown!!

    At least Boris has that cuddly look about him!

    • 82
      Engineer says:

      Must be the newts, but I’m damned if I can work out how that works…

      • 88
        Trust me, I'm a doctor says:

        Newt = pissed as

        Hence, the coupling can occur


        • 91
          Engineer says:

          The trick must be finding the happy medium between getting them too pissed to care, and the onset of Brewer’s Droop.

        • 99
          Veritas says:

          Well I’m really glad that you explained that. Engineer of course is famous for his wit and humour but I was still trying to fathom that one out!!

          • Engineer says:

            About the only things Livingstone is famous for are cultivating the friendship of dodgy characters who may or may not have links to Alky-Aida, and keeping newts. Not sure which is worse (for the newts and Alky-Aida, that is).

          • Engineer says:

            Thanks for the compiment, but the trouble with being famous and an engineer is that, in general, you have to be dead first. How many alive famous engineers can you think of?

          • Veritas says:

            Apologies Engineer my only knowledge of engineers is historical ie Isambard Kingdom Brunel. And from his portraits I don’t think he would have had much of a sense of humour.

            I doubt, unlike Boris and Ken , that he would have had mistresses either

          • Gussie Fink-Nottle says:

            I like newts

          • South of the M4 says:

            Engineer. Are not John Glenn and Neil Armstrong still alive. Both are astronautical engineers. And a bit famous.

          • Rip Van Winkle says:

            Farook Engineer.

          • Shagger Norris Metrosexual says:

    • 263
      Mrs. Merton says:

      Remind me, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?

  30. 79
    Simply Simon says:

    For a moment I thought it was Bono Jo. Jo is our best beer girl. I like here. She gives me beer.

  31. 83
    I like BoJo says:

    • 101
      Veritas says:

      ROFL. Me too.

      Though the apology he gives to the people of Papua New Guinea that he feels sure they like him ‘ live lives of blameless bourgeois domesticity’ may now come back to haunt him!

      • 138
        "The whole place was absolutely rigid." says:

        • 152
          Veritas says:

          After 13 years of cardboard labour cut-outs whose public personae was less inspiring than a bowl of dry muesli at 4 in the morning and more depressing than old communist east european dictators, we suddenly have people like Boris who can raise a laugh and like Cameron who are at ease at PMQ’s.

          I suspect that this light heartedness that is invading English politics at the moment, is much like the people of England felt in 1662 after the puritans lost power and people were allowed to dance again!

          • STAY ON MESSAGE says:

            Lovely spinning little dave drone. Would you like a doggy treat?

          • Fuck Labour says:

            Have you bought your copy of The Third Man, as per Directive 341 from the stormtroopers at Labour HQ?

          • Veritas says:

            Lovely spinning gordon drone – would you like a gordon nokia round your ear?!

          • Spinning Minion - "like Cameron who are at ease at PMQ’s." says:

            guidofawkes: Dave is doing a Gordon, it isn’t Opposition Leader’s Questions

          • Fuck Labour says:

            How’s Damien McBride? And before I forget, congratulations on that extra 75p a week for pensioners. Surely the highlight of your 13 years in office.

          • Veritas says:

            Ho Hum! I like it!!! And doesn’t he do that —-turning the question back on itself with such pizazz!!

            Mind, in truth I suspect, even stalin would have made gordon look lumpen!!

          • nobody likes a mindless on message minion says:

            You’re seriously calling Guido “McBride” for having a pop at Dave.
            Cheeerist! What a complete fuckwit.

          • We wuv Dave. He's sooo dweeeeaaaamy. LOL! says:

            When she has finished drooling over that poor nell might realise she has now admitted she likes it when Dave copies Gordoom.

            I’m going to enjoy reminding you of that nell. Quite often.

  32. 92
    NeverRed says:

    O/T I see Lard Prescot slouched in the House of Lard now live (well just live)on his fat arse qualifying for his £300+ pay for his appearance plus no doubt his expenses for this evening with some slapper.

  33. 105
    Koba says:

    Ah, bonking in office again. Boris is would not look out of place with Prescot in the Lords.

  34. 107
    The Dutch Experience (DE2) says:

    Legalise the herb

    • 127
      Disco Biscuit says:

      Yes indeed, it’s thyme to legalise the herb.

    • 162
      Dig for Victory says:

      The MS spray has now been dropped in the Southern PCT’s, no evidence it works! Take out the good stuff and of course it doesn’t work! Legalise it and tax it, you know it makes sense

      • 165
        Fred Dibna says:

        10/10 Anyone know what the likely take would be on legalising and taxing it

        • 224
          Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

          Don’t forget to factor in the savings in the justice system – just as valid a part of the take as gains from taxation.

  35. 110
    SaltPetre says:

    Good God…Boris seems to be a hair’s breadth from being a rapist..he seems incapable of shaking hands with a woman before he shags her. His public image is that of a stupid fat clown..but he really seems to be a sex addict.

  36. 115
    Veritas says:

    I think the Tories must be relieved that 13 years of a profligate, sexually incontinent labour Government has made us, the electorate, indifferent to this sort of scandal.

    Previously, the Tories were known for sexual scandal and Labour for financially fraudulent one’s.

    Bit like boom and bust isn’t it? Gordon achieved abolition of boom ( as in public indifference to political sexual scandals) but made bust ( as in government financial incompetence) still shocking to the public!!!

  37. 120
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    “Impressively managing to get two women pregnant simultaneously”. For someone who appears to be such a twat this, probably unpremeditated, achievement is something we mere mortals can only dream about!

    • 142
      Veritas says:

      Ummm. Echoes here of that threesome rumour of tone b liar, wife and that carol person

      • 192
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        But he didn’t put that ghastly Carol thing up the duff, did he? Moreover, she was in my recollection even more unappetising than slotgob. The man must have had damn bad eyesight.

      • 196
        nells yokel fuckwittery says:

        How would you know nell?
        Is it any more truthfull than the rumour about Osborne’s wife for example?

        • 240
          The Electorate disgusted with corrupt labour! says:


          Derek, Damian ,Balls and Twatson – the brainless bagmen for gordon mafioso – you are so predictable!!

          • nell McBride says:

            Same old smearing lies from the same old witless Liar. Bless!

            You’re the one who started with the rumours you hypocritical twat.

            So don’t pretend it’s fine when you do it but terrible when others do it back to point out your blatant hypocrisy.

            Seriously, do you practice being this stupid ?

          • Labour's view of life says:

            Umm!! Actually I think it was damian and his no.10 crew ‘ who started with the rumours…..’

          • nell McBride says:

            Umm!! That’s the fucking point I’m making about hypocrisy you twat.

            And ask John Major or Thatcher about off the record briefings if you are naive enough to believe politicians going for each others throats is somehow new.

            In fact ask Dave if he’s enjoying Boris’s current tabloid escapades.
            I know he is, as Boris has enjoyed giving Dave a kick quite a few times

          • Labour in its best light!! says:

            Ummm! Actuslly I think the sort of toxic , lying, briefings alastair campbell and damian mcbride did are quite different to anything any current or previous governments ,of any colour, ever did!!.

  38. 125
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Ken managed “to get two women pregnant simultaneously”?

    I’m sure it can’t have been quite simultaneous, surely?

  39. 132
    Serial Shagger says:

    I come.

    I go.

    They come.

    I go.

    I come.

    They go.

    But its fun!

    I know!

  40. 134
    Boris coalition sausage says:

  41. 144
  42. 147

    Zac on the bbc and Sky
    I did nothing wrong
    i used the same formula to calculate my expences as every other mp
    but if the electoral commission find anything wrong then ultimately it is my agents neck on the block
    and i dont think he would risk that do you ?

    GUILTY ! Next !

  43. 164
    Houdini says:

    Someone on here said the masses watch the soaps to escape. So I had a look at them tonight. Emmerdale = Everyone in the pub. Coronation Street = Everyone in the pub. East Enders = Everyone in the pub. And what is it they are escaping from? Why it’s everyone in the pub.

    • 174
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Because in the real world no-one’s in a pub now since the Smoking Ban.

      The state-sponsored, brain-washing, social engineering soap-operas are trying to give the message that we’re all still going to pubs, but we won’t until that stupid ban is repealed.

      But Nick Clegg must repeal it because it ticks all the boxes he identified for ‘laws we’d like to repeal’ – if he doesn’t, it just proves the whole exercise was a sham. I’m not holding my breath, so yet more pubs will close, yet more jobs lost, yet more tax revenue lost.

      But I don’t watch those crappy shows anyway, I’m a smoker, I’m too bright for that.

      • 183
        MI7 says:

        I’m a smoker to but still goto the pub. I’d much sooner goto the pub and smoke outside than watch eastenders, coro and all the other social propaganda.

      • 202
        Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

        And they’re all thick as pig shit borderline criminals with no manners who shout inanities at each other with their mouths full. No wonder the country’s going downhill fast with that cretinous mob as role models.

        Now even the presenters have been made more user friendly to the dimwit contingent, and odd accents abound, there is one on the World Service who is incomprehensible to me.

        Glad to see that knob Damazer is leaving the BBC- he who scrapped the Radio 4 today theme tune, which made me feel good to be British in the early hours.

        Time for my medication.

    • 181
      MI7 says:

      escaping from the fact they are slaves to the matrix even though most haven’t quite 100% figured it out yet.

      and on soaps everyone sits in pubs getting drunk, people emulate it in real life and don’t ever stop to think about deeper meaning of life and it’s problems and the solutions to those problems. Instead they vote morons into power to do it for them, in theory at least, while in reality the morons (politicans) just line there own pockets and earn a decent sum of money for doing fuck all and further amplifying the very problems they’re suppose to solving.

  44. 167

    Although we lobbied the British government for the release of Libyan terrorists
    it had nothing to do with the multi billion oil deal we did with Gaddaffi
    that has made the yanks Soooo jelous
    and the fact that Gordon Brown Tony Blair ‘and Lord Mangledbum where photographed with Colonal Gaddaffi is just coincidental
    and Peter is definitley not shagging Gaddaffi’s son

    • 168
      OK says:

      Anyone who is not with us is with the terrorists.

      • 172
        let's waste $45 trillon on a global warming scam to make Al Gore a billionaire says:

        This is what the Welsh, scousers and all the other sundry work-shy need! – to be cut off from their beer, fags and betting shop cash


        • 205
          Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

          Can’t they be exploding vouchers? It would reduce the workshy contingent effectively and stimulate the undertaking sector.

        • 220
          Wavy Davy Bullingdon Gravy Loves to eat his Greens says:

          Mr Cameron said: “If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth. Today, I want to tell the British people some uncomfortable truths. There is a price for progress in tackling climate change.”

          Mr Gore praised the role Mr Cameron had played in promoting environmental issues.

          “The fact that both your political parties are competing vigorously to offer solutions is very important,” he told Tory frontbenchers.

          “I can assure you that people around the world really are watching and are appreciating the quality of this debate.”

        • 221
          Eco Dave and his Limpservatives says:

          Mr Cameron said: “If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth.

    • 175
      streamfishers says:

      So why did the dumb sons of bitches give Tony a medal and x million dollars?

    • 177
      Veritas says:

      Tone b liar ( now personal adviser to gaddafi and personal friend of the gaddafi family – no doubt with suitable remuneration) and peter m (personal ‘friend’ of gaddafi’s son – again no doubt with ‘friendship support’) and one al megrahi who was going to die within 3 months of cancer in that scottish prison and yet is now thriving in Libya after being flown home in style after said intervention by b liar and pals!!!

    • 190
      MI7 says:

      You missed out Nat Rothschild in your little list. The deal between Mandelson and Gadaffi’s son for freeing the Libyan bomber was struck at a dinner party at Nat Rothschild private island in Corfu.

      Incidently i’ve heard but can’t confirm that the libyan guy never bombed the Pan-Am flight. It was bombed by Hezbullah but the terroists were long gone and the state needed to show someone being caught and prosecuted for it, so they arrested the libyan guy who as an acting inteligence officer for libya. By no means was he an angel but he was totaly innocent of the bombing. But because at the time Libya & Gadaffi were percieved as the bad guy it was easy to fit him up for it.

      Gadaffi told the government that if he ever died or was hurt in an english prison the UK would never, ever be awarded any oil contracts in the future hence why he was kept in solitary with all the mods and cons, tv, internet ect because the government knew all along that he was innocent.

      The prostate cancer was made up so he could be released before he really died and still have a good few years of freedom. In the UK would be ‘reconsidered’ for oil contracts.

      The worst thing is the real bombers escaped justice altogether.

      • 204

        Although Peter Mangledbum Wears Semtex Condoms
        he still denies he is a Suicide Bummer

      • 215
        Kilobar says:

        The first on the scene was the CIA in blackhawks to get their heroin.Its all on Indymedia.

        • 237
          MI7 says:

          interesting site thanks. can’t find anything about the Lockerbie bombing there, you have a link Kilobar?

  45. 176
    Fuck Labour says:

    Labour’s core vote:

    • 203
      nell's on the cider again says:

      • 218
        MI7 says:

        Les Andrews is Labours core vote

        • 223
          Wavy Davy's core vote says:

          • Fuck Labour says:

            Luciana Berger went to private school and has a car with a personalised numberplate. Champagne Socialism is alive and well in Zanu Liebore! And let’s not talk about Lord Paul or Michael Bollinger. Could be a bit embarrassing when trying to project an image to the thickies who still think Labour gives two shits about them.

          • Goose Sauce says:

            or the thickies who think Dave and his Eton Cabinet of toffs give two shits about them

          • mandy in a pit of debt and still digging! says:

            Or the thickies who think that public school boys like Mr Bliar, Alastair Darling, Ed Balls …………………and all the other multiple others of labour mp’s who have been privately educated, (not to mention diane abbot whose son is at an independent school), give a toss about the electorate!!

            The bottom line is how much money they can trough from the expenses or , in Ed Balls case, how much drink they can consume at taxpayers subsidy , from the Stranger’s Bar!

          • They were ALL at it you daft twat says:

          • Do not feed the mongs says:

            The thickies know but they also know labour will give it big shit more to the cons

          • ROFL! says:

            big shit

            heap big mong

            no like taking of piss

      • 259
        Yawn says:

        I thought nell was Norfolk?

        Surely cider is about Somerset.

        Bit then of course Labour never did understand the idiosyncracies of England did they?

    • 217
      Kilobar says:

      They don’t vote at all.

  46. 182
    Veritas says:


    At the end of the day Ms O’Dowd is absolutely typical of labour’s core vote!!

    • 191
      Dave Cameron PM says:

      How dare those oiks at Facebook and the internet ignore me, I am terribly important don’t you know.

    • 201
      In Vino nell says:

      And you are typical of the mindless warmongering Dave cheerleader nell

      • 230
        Injured Veteran says:

        Talking of warmongering – what’s this we hear from Chilcott that influential witnesses are saying that brown and mr liar were telling less than the truth?

        And that there was clear evidence of NO WMD. It was apparently fabricated by no.10 spin doctors .

        I wonder who that could be??

        • 239
          in other shocking news says:

          bear shit in woods

          pope catholic

        • 241
          warmongers all says:

          Where’s the new Kelly Inquest?

          • mandy in a pit of debt and still digging! says:

            I bet Blir and Alastair are hoping against hope that Ken Clarke doesn’t call one.

            If he does you can bet your bottom dollar they’ll both head south to a palace bolt hole owned by, their special friend, the son of gaddafi!!

          • tick tock says:

            When ?

            or is it just more bullshit excuses

      • 264
        News Desk says:

        firefight this afternoon.

    • 225
      Simply Simon says:

      Someone collects 35 000 users names and the page disappears. I’m just saying.

      • 262
        Watch your backs says:

        Especially with police personel on other blogs cough Inspector Gadjet cough saying they should make a copy of the names.

        • 271
          Lasher says:

          My name was up there and fuck Dave and anyone else.theres thousands of us if he wants some.

    • 267
      Indigo says:

      Yes, according to Ms O’Dowd, Moat’s shooting dead one person, blinding another, and injuring his former girlfried was – get this – “a bit harsh”.

      Terrifying ignorance and amorality.

  47. 206
    Back to Basics says:

  48. 213
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    I would object most vigorously to being called a serial shagger.

    Parallel, yes. Serial, no.

  49. 219
    Kilobar says:

    If Labour could get the chavs to vote they would be in power for ever.

    • 287
      Labour's view of life says:

      Well thank god they can’t. Labour made sure they were paid too much money in welfare to lay in bed, inbibe vodka in large quantities and play poker on the web.

      They have no time or inclination to do something as mindless as vote!!

  50. 222
    mandy's pit of debt and still digging says:


    Never mind the sobbing scotsman.

    Enjoy Peter the Great’s poisonous pen!!

  51. 238
    Dossier raises questions over millionaire Tory MP Goldsmith's spending during election says:

    Westminster watchdog the Electoral Commission has today received a dossier raising questions about campaign spending by multi-millionaire Conservative MP Zac Goldsmith in the May General Election.
    An investigation by Channel 4 News and the Bureau of Investigative Journalism (BIJ) highlighted Mr Goldsmith’s spending on items such as signs, jackets and leaflets in his successful bid to become MP for Richmond Park in south London.

    The report claimed that sums on invoices for the items did not match the amounts which Mr Goldsmith submitted in his declaration to the returning officer as evidence that he had not breached the candidates’ spending limit


  52. 246
    Fuck Labour says:

    QT panel is fun tonight: George Galloway, Sally Ally, Francis Maude, Andy Burnham and Nick Ferrari.

  53. 254
    Fuck Labour says:

    Sally’s in a skirt, I just spotted. John should expect her home tomorrow.

  54. 257
    Fuck Labour says:

    Labour audience as usual. Clapping all the shit coming out of Ally and Burnt Ham’s mouths.

  55. 269
    MI7 says:

    Slaggin Raul Moat, fucking idiots.

    George Galloway was right.

  56. 272
    Charles Whelan says:

    The tories may have won the battle but we will win the war comrades.

  57. 278
    Dimblebum losing marbles fast says:


  58. 280
    The United States says:

    Hey Limey Cameron. Get this Facebook is a United States company on United States servers and you can’t ban it or do anything else. OK shit head.

  59. 283
    Galloway Rules says:

    Galloway speaks for the masses.
    He can take on the US

  60. 285
    shocked Tory says:

    Never ever thought I would agree with George Galloway, yet he is the only one on QT prepared to speak the truth.

  61. 288
    marigold says:

  62. 289
    BBC QT says:

    Wanted clappers and cheerers. Booers and hissers need not apply

    • 294
      camberwick spleen says:

      I can’t watch QT anymore, it really is the pits.

    • 310
      streamfisher says:

      Not exactly true, they made sure they had not one but two “barracker’s” (Dimblebys word) that just by chance we are supposed to believe, happened to be sitting side by side on the front row and plumb in the middle of the audience (centre stage as it were). I would have liked to ask one question; can we have a show of hands from all the people invited to the show by the BBC that are currently working in the NHS in a bureaucratic capacity? 20%, 30%, 40%…., Pravda at its finest just keeps on rollin’ along.

  63. 290
    MI7 says:

    Live version here gives you a better idea how it sounds through a big sound syetm

  64. 293
    The Rebel Army says:

    call the revolution George. We’ll hang them all tonight.

  65. 297
    The Rebel Army says:

    Andy Burnem burns pensioners

  66. 298
    etre says:

    Bercow, Burnham, Maud and ferrarie? just don’t get it. New labour destroyed all public trust in the police. They now police by force and not consent.

    • 301
      We the public know it. says:

      The bankers robbed the banks and caused the deficit and the debt

      • 325
        If it's on TV, it must be true says:

        The MP’s robbed the taxpayers and stood by while the bankers got away with the cash, and then told you, via the on board MSM, that you’re going to pick up the tab.
        Ever get the feeling you’ve been had?

  67. 299
    Moaty was executed by the pigs says:

    The fat fuck is not the buffoon he pretends to be. Hes a Nazi shit-bag contolled by fucking jo-oz. I hope he gets pox and nob cancer from that dirty sl-ag.

  68. 300
    stop digging holes says:

    Francis Maud should shut the Fuck up, the more he speaks the more he makes a twat of himself.

  69. 303
    The QT panel of the We're all in it together Party? says:

    What’s our fee for this gig?

  70. 304
    New Tribe says:

    Just joined RESPECT

  71. 309
    Fuck Labour says:

    Blinky smirking on This Week. Hunt.

  72. 311
    MI7 says:

    here we go balls is on o’neil smiling. looks quite confident. let’s see if o’neil destroys him tonight or goes easy on him

  73. 314
    sick making says:

    OMG!!!! Blinky balls and Portillo swapping spit.

  74. 318
    Fuck Labour says:

    Balls: “There are thousands of people on the internet who will say terrible things about Moat, about ME”. Ha Ha!!!! You know it, Eddie!

  75. 319
    MI7 says:

    ha ha ha

    balls ‘people on the internet say appaling things about me..’

    you know he’s having a dig at you there guido

  76. 323
    Get used to it. says:

    politicians are thieves.Fact.The cops are their tools. Fact. The majority don’t like either. Fact.

  77. 326
    Forensics says:

    If you post on this site do it with a live cd of knoppix. It loads to ram memory,no hard disk is needed. As soon as you turn your computer off all trace of the operating system is gone.Nothing can be recovered.

  78. 330
    Fuck Labour says:

    Blinky’s grilling by Brillo is coming up in a minute. Don’t let us down, Brillo! We’re counting on you to tear the c-unt apart!!!!

  79. 334
    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Richly comic,,,yuss,I say,mumblemumble says:

    • 360
      Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

      Talking about elephant twats….

  80. 336
    Taking a guess says:

    They will come after the internet now, you can tell they are nervous about so many people on websites talking about them and taking the piss of them

    Eddy is nearly in tears over it and Cameron is still trying to delude himself he has courage by going after facebook.

    • 341
      Herr Hitler was a fine man says:

      Porteloo sorry they involved the prime minister. Cameron put himself into it.

    • 357
      Kamerstalin (coined here first) says:

      Balls accepts the internet is the way it is, CamerHunt wants to control it. He has shown his hand

      • 379
        Apagusta says:

        There is no desire to control the internet but David Cameron spoke for the public in saying some things are beyond even a tolerant society’s threshold of decency.

  81. 338
    Hills bro says:

    Go to Liverpool McKensie there’s a few hundred bullets with your name on them

  82. 339
    Fuck Labour says:

    Blinky denying quotes about him. Hunt.

  83. 344
    Herr Hitler was a fine man says:

    Yawn Brillo is a wanker,get a job you fat fuck

  84. 345
    Fuck Labour says:

    Blinky panicking…

  85. 347
  86. 349
    Fuck Labour says:

    I think Brillo went too easy on Blinky Bollocks.

    • 351
      Paddy Wirewool says:

      he would have looked like the bully everyone accuses Balls of being, Balls couldn’t bully his granny.

    • 354
      Felix Unger says:

      You’re thinking now?
      That’s a big plus for evolution then.

  87. 350
    They are the frightened ones says:

  88. 352
    The t t t t tt ttt urd 'man' says:

    Ignore the fact that the Welsh Windbag says I carry a tour of myself.

    I’ve got a built-in motion detector – I can find shit anywhere.

    Buy me book willya?

  89. 353
    MI7 says:

    some stupid feminist slag on this week. glad i don’t pay my license to fund this shit.

    • 359
      Chief Whip says:

      That would take all the joy from the tory trolls who love to abuse the BBC for a fee.
      You pays your money and takes your choice.

    • 364
      Anonymous says:

      Abi Titmuss a feminist? Hahahahahahaha…..

      I’m not a confused male Abi, I’d love to fuck your arse off.

  90. 358
    Labour's dying hopes!!! says:

    No. I think it is true to say that Ed Balls would sell his soul to get the leadership of the Labour Party.

    I want it as badly as he does. Sadly , this poorly , flawed man with poor communication skills , is , as you and I know, NOT going to succeed!!

  91. 361
    Kamerstalin (coined here first) says:

    Good night lads and good banter.see yall again

  92. 368
    streamfisher says:

    Blinker’s blink rate was touching red a couple of times but interesting that he thinks the population of this country is 70 million… already? and when in sincere mode he declared it was very difficult keeping all the Balls in the air at the same time (don’t know what to make of that one).

  93. 371
    Gordon Brown Face says:

    Oh, with this you are spoiling us Mr Cadburys.

  94. 375

    [...] Boris Johnson (according to Guido) [...]

Seen Elsewhere

Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads