July 13th, 2010

Where’s Gordon?™ – Not “Humilated Enough” Clearly

With characteristically poor-timing, Gordon Brown showed his face in Westminster yesterday afternoon, just as the village had spent the morning digesting his less than dignified attempts to cling to power, as confirmed by Mandy in The Third Man.  Naturally EyeSpyMP spotted Brown-in-town first.

So what was the burning issue that brought the Rt Hon. Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, who wakes every morning to fight for a fairer Britain, south to the Mother of all Parliaments?

He was all weird smiles at a drinks party in his honour at Labour HQ. Donors, Lord and Lady Prescott, Harriet Harman, Sally Bercow and the like were in attendance. His wife Sarah came too, which must have been nice for her after being dragged back up to Scotland. No expense was spared to honour the most unsuccessful Labour Prime Minister in the history of the party, though as a Scot you would hope Gordon understood the need for the cash bar to be in operation.

UPDATE: Tony Blair was not in attendance. Was he too busy globetrotting for cash or bringing peace to the Middle East. No, he was having a drink at Home House last night. Was he just having too much fun to pop over from SW1 to W1?


  1. 1
    Bob says:

    it must be payday

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Cash Bar?

    It was the right thing to do.

  3. 3
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Show some COURAGE shit-stabber, admit you’re mistakes and retire.

  4. 4
    Gordon's Low-Carbon Economy says:

    What is Sarah’s carbon footprint?

  5. 5
    Mark Legless MP says:

    Guinness was only £2.20 a pint.

  6. 6
    Comrade Michael Gove says:

    Латвийский бизнесмен вместо Борисовского завода медпрепараторов купил предприятие в Словакии: Компания

  7. 7
    QWERTY says:

    perhaps he left his car keys in the urinals at Hampstead Heath

  8. 8
    David Cameron says:

    I wish the England football team th every best of luck in the 2014 World Cup…………what’s for lunch ??

  9. 9
    QWERTY says:

    Nearly as big as her arse.

  10. 10
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    “A moment of madness” – oops, wrong Brown – hell, is there any difference?

  11. 11
    Where’s David Laws?™ says:

    Not “Humilated Enough” Clearly

  12. 12
    mike says:

    If he was carrying a copy of the Daily Mail and you challenged him you might win a prize

  13. 13
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    In any other job you would be fired for turning up for 2 days out of 70.
    ZaNuliebour even brought in laws to prosecute parents for their children wagging school.

    And he steals a living writing his memoirs for profit.

  14. 14

    Gordon’s back down here because the Early Learning Centre is having a sale, playdoh is 50% off.

  15. 15
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    No more Oranjeboom and bust

  16. 16
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    And, being ‘good with figures’, he will charge for the other 75%.

  17. 17
    When Oirish Eyes are fighting says:

    The Pissed Paddy’s are causing Chaos again.

    Belfast police, Catholic rioters clash over parade


  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Sarah my only true Love (ahem),

    Why have you bought a single rail ticket to Canterbury?

    Who will look after the bairns now I have to write another chapter of

    The Haynes Manual of “How Not To Run A Country”

  19. 19
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Only that AND THEY STILL GOT CREDIT ffs.

  20. 20
    Sarah Tweet says:

    went with GB to lovely Labour Party reception with @HarrietHarman plus Lord and Lady @johnprescott – *top* time as @SallyBercow said

  21. 21
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Big end’s gone, not just the tappits, innit.

  22. 22
    Gordon McMental says:

    Red playdough tastes yummy.

  23. 23
    Sir William Waad says:

    In later years, staff clearing up after another boozy late-night sitting in the Commons would often hear a groaning, grumbling sound and the clank of chains as a ghostly figure slouched along the corridors, complaining about his fate and turning randomly into broom cupboards. A chiily depression would settle on them. They knew the spectre only as ‘Gordon’. All attempts to lay the phantom failed.

  24. 24
    No more Orangemen and bust heads says:

    Violence Breaks Out During Orange Parade

    Police and Orangemen have come under attack as a controversial 12th of July parade was escorted through a notorious flashpoint in Belfast.

    Armoured police were sent to break up the protest in the Crumlin Road area

    Heavily armed riot police protected the Orange lodge members as they passed the Ardoyne shops in the north of the city.

    Petrol bombs, bricks, bottles and other missiles were thrown by nationalists, angry the annual march was allowed to take a route past their area.

    Police responded by firing baton rounds and deploying a water cannon to quell the unrest.

  25. 25
    Milli's Banana says:


    That is all.

  26. 26
    Gordon Brron's Granny says:

    Its a public holiday so they re off work. ha ha ha ha

  27. 27
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Was there much of this about?

  28. 28
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Where are Alki Ada when you need them?

  29. 29
    streamfisher says:

    It must have been a fund-raising event for Charity, y’know auctioning off signed pairs of his Y-fronts, that sort of thing.

  30. 30
    Gordon Broon's Granny says:

    Err…its the Orgngemen who are being attacked by mad dog paddies in celtic tops

  31. 31
    Satan says:

    Hang on, your husband, Hattie, “Pies” Prescott and Sally Bercow were there, and it’s a “top” time?

    You’ve basically just described the nastiest bit of Hell. I’m going to have to think of something a whole lot worse for you, obviously.

  32. 32
    Sally BerCow Tweet says:

    Been at fab drinks reception for GB & @sarahbrownuk. Was v privileged to be invited & had *top* time with Labour movers & shakers :)


  33. 33
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Oh no, there is much more ….

  34. 34
    so fucking what? says:

    you mental case

  35. 35
    The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

    So did he attend HoC or just Labour HQ?

  36. 36
    ONS says:

    The Northumberland sniper team are at a loose end right now….

  37. 37
    Can't remember he's Belgian says:

    Maybe they’re in your shithole country of Belgium ?

    I doubt many here in Britain would shed a tear if Brussels went up in smoke.

  38. 38
    Tango says:

    So much fuss over a fizzy drink.

  39. 39
    Hugh Janus says:

    And presumably we paid for him to travel to and from this little jaunt (attended by other yesterday’s people of course). I’m only here for the beer, not to do any meaningful work for those who elected me and who pay my unearned salary as an MP, on top of my remarably generous PM’s pension.

    When’s the long-awaited ‘voluntary work’ going to take place then?

  40. 40
    thick as thieves says:

  41. 41
    mong central says:

    who gives a fuck

  42. 42
    Iain Martin says:

    Would Britain buy Balls?

    Government advisers joke that the near defenestration of Michael Gove over the school buildings fandango was arranged deliberately by them to make Ed Balls look good and help him win the leadership of his party. Balls is, they say, David Cameron’s dream leader of the Labour party.

    more at


  43. 43
    Miss Whiplash says:

    By “top time”, you mean you got to wield the whip?

  44. 44
    Unsworth says:

    If she’d been invited to a similar piss-up with Cameron, Clegg, Thatcher, John Major etc, would she have gone? Mind you, would this (ex?) lush be able to tell the difference after she’d been there for half an hour?

    No mention of Mandelson or Blair being (not) present. Why is that do we think? Anyway, most people seem to have a *bottom* time with GB.

  45. 45
    Peter Venkman says:

    I’ll sort the bastard out.

    Who ya gonna call?

  46. 46
    lolol says:

    and Balls will win the Leadership
    like fuck he will lol

  47. 47
    Taxpayer paying his fucking salary says:

    I fucking do.

  48. 48
    Gordon Broon's Granny says:

    I wish ye would all leave poor wee Gordon alone. It’s very hard when you have been successfully running a company and the shareholders suddenly and for noo reason at aw joost reject yee and throw ye on the scrapheap. if he hadne had the support o’ Sarah on those long phone calls from Canterbury i dinae kno where ‘e would have been.

    it’s varry hard when a mon suddenly realises that he’s no more the breedwinna in the hoose. Sarah has told him she may be forced to go back to work in London while he stays in Edinburgh with the bairns. But he’s no lettin it get him down. He’s told me he’s considering a number of offiers. Someone has kindly sent him a brochure from a company in Switzerland called Dignitas. Noo that Tony Blair has got the Middle East market a’ sewn up Gordon tells me that hes actively looking at opportunities elsewhere that will out do Tony and lift him to an even bigger stage. Apparently he’s heard that there’s need for a mediator between the Federation of Planets and the Borg Collective so is actively researching that but there’s an awfrey large noomber of episodes to watch

  49. 49
    Doc Trough says:

    Movers & Shakers? Those are Grand Mal seizures you dippy mare!

  50. 50
    A caughing and wheezing podgy Balls says:

    I’m glad you didn’t say ‘leadership race‘.

  51. 51
    streamfisher says:

    Gazza shut the fuck-up, fuck-off and take your can of lager, chicken and fishing rod with you, shit for brains!

  52. 52
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Are you sure that sales will cover the cost of publishing? Did Salvator Mundi get an advance , bearing in mind his history of writing best-remainders, and more to the point who provided funding for the advance, if any? I think we should be told.

  53. 53
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Not one of us, TaT.

  54. 54
    Tub of Lard says:

    So, is Prescott a mover or a shaker?

  55. 55
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    How does he travel? By limo, I imagine since if he were either on a train or plane reports would emerge.

    I suppose all we need to know is that we paid for it.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    You couldn't make it up. says:

    While the NI plod’s armoured cars are still making their way back from Rothbury.

  58. 58
    TOO FAR says:

    Typical of Labour. Some Labour (Scotish are the worst example) MP’s Gordon Brown is at it now, accepting (stealing) tax payers money for doing fuck all for the UK. Most likely also claiming his expenses entitlement.
    It’s about time they only got paid when they attended parliament or had a reason to be absent.

    Us self employed have to put up with the rule of “no work no beer tokens” and even then have fight the IR to justify any expenses claim.

    Gordon Brown should be forced to resign his seat as he has not forfilled his ” contractual duties” If he is unfit for work due to some medical disorder then his employers (joe public) should be informed.
    Am I being cynical, but could there be a bit of a “cover up” here?……..Some one out there must know!

  59. 59
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Not even English!

  60. 60
    Mr Plum says:

    Make Balls look good ?

  61. 61
    DJFunk2 says:

    “though as a Scot you would hope Gordon understood the need for the cash bar to be in operation”

    @Guido: for shame

  62. 62
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Not an Engrisher!

  63. 63
    Down with Brown! says:

  64. 64
    Down with Brown! says:

    Mrs Brun:

    went with GB to lovely Labour Party reception with @HarrietHarman plus Lord and Lady @johnprescott – *top* time as @SallyBercow said.

    Where was Raoul Moat when we needed him?

  65. 65
    Kruschev Moment... says:

    The Brown “marriage” is in trouble. Sarah has a (same sex) lover wanting her to remain in London. Brown has been undergoing therapy including anti-depressant treatment. How long can it be before his arrest on Wimbledon Common in 1983 makes it into the papers? There will not be much sympathy, he should take the foreign professorship and leave.

  66. 66
    Can't remember he's TaT says:

    that’s what Belgian means TaT it means you’re a Belgian twat and not English

  67. 67
    Unsworth says:

    No, he’s a knee trembler.

  68. 68
    TOO FAR says:

    Or maybe a “life form” between bacteria and rock??

  69. 69
    Down with Brown! says:

    Gazza says Mad gun man was a lovely bloke and as sane as Gazza.

  70. 70
    Lord Grytpype-thynne but thinking of leaving the House of Lords to stay non-dom says:

    What bizarre and self-congratulatory behaviour by McRuin and all those who attended.The Labour Party leadership hopefuls seem to have been conspicuous by their absence and McDoom stayed clear of the House of Commons so he could carry on fighting for a fairer Britain….. at a cocktail party

  71. 71
    Kilobar says:

    Home house seems pretty tacky

  72. 72
    I see it not says:

    but the humiliation is coming from were?

  73. 73
    Down with Brown! says:

    I thought Sarah’s friend was in Canterbury.

  74. 74
    Chris Huhne says:

    The enjoyment of the first cigarette of the day is proportional to the inexplicably sudden need to take a shit.

  75. 75
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Not English! Poor TaT.

  76. 76
    Balls talks shit on today says:

    Balls lied through his teeth earlier and made ludicrous statements to the effect that there was no Brown coup against Blair and he had nothing to do with it even if there was, which according to him, there wasn’t

    Doubt he’s done his sinking shitfest of a campaign much good as Labour MPs with a memory longer than a goldfish would have spluttered over their coffee when they heard that load of bollocks

  77. 77
    The doorman says:

    call at the BBC to collect them

  78. 78
    Down with Brown! says:

    He left some pills in London.

  79. 79
    michael window licker says:

    Only Gove could do that

  80. 80
    Dublin Up says:

    Ulster is stuck to Ireland and it’s ours

  81. 81
    Down with Brown! says:

    I’m sure the Bliar flew out quickly. If he didn’t the Inland Revenue would be on to the Non-Dom.

  82. 82
    The Third Man says:

    Thanks see you at the weekend – usual berth?

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Doc Trough says:

    He’s a motion.

  85. 85
    Govt-By-Cluster-Fuck says:

    So Snotty McDoom can travel to London for a drinks party but feels unable to put in an appearance at work ?

    I so wish the DSS were in charge of paying MPs salaries.

  86. 86
    Top sites says:

    *Top* is code for a swap party

  87. 87
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Sally Bercow getting pissed?
    Its a dead cert that Some f ucker got got his c ock sucked by her and I bet that it wasnt the gnome she is married to

  88. 88
    Warden says:

    Please do not make fun of the loony’s

  89. 89
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    A mini cock and a hard face when it comes to the “noble” Prescotts

  90. 90
    God says:

    deep. I shall add that to the meaning of life.

  91. 91
    Going forward says:

    History AudioThe Missing DaysSir Robert WalpoleEarl of WilmingtonHenry PelhamDuke of NewcastleDuke of DevonshireEarl of ButeGeorge GrenvilleMarquess of RockinghamEarl of ChathamDuke of GraftonLord NorthEarl of ShelburneDuke of PortlandWilliam PittHenry AddingtonLord GrenvilleSpencer PercevalEarl of LiverpoolGeorge CanningViscount GoderichDuke of WellingtonEarl GreyViscount MelbourneSir Robert PeelEarl RussellEarl of DerbyEarl of AberdeenViscount PalmerstonBenjamin DisraeliWilliam Ewart GladstoneMarquess of SalisburyEarl of RoseberyArthur James BalfourHenry Campbell-BannermanHerbert Henry AsquithDavid Lloyd GeorgeAndrew Bonar LawStanley BaldwinJames Ramsay MacDonaldNeville ChamberlainSir Winston ChurchillClement AttleeSir Anthony EdenHarold MacmillanSir Alec Douglas-HomeHarold WilsonEdward HeathJames CallaghanMargaret ThatcherJohn MajorTony BlairGordon Brown( How the F’uck did he end up on the list? Can he be eradicated?

  92. 92
    Hang The Bastards says:


    Tel: 01383 611702

    I asked why the bong-eyed twat had not been bothered to turn up. His “case worker” told me that he has been attending Westminster and has only had two weeks off after the election.

    When I put it to him that he had only turned up twice, he says that was just right wing media causing trouble!

    I tried to arrange an appoitment to see him, but there were no surgeries or dates. The helper just said he would take down my details and get back to me. He then went on to say that he handles the constituency issues on Gordons behalf.

    I asked what Gordon has been doing & he said he was visiting local people & PRIMARY SCHOOLS. I asked what the fuck use was that and he said “the kids get a lot out of it”!!! UNBELIEVEABLE ??

    I then asked him to explain exactly what a 6 year got out of a visit from Gordon. He then said I obviously didnt like Gordon & was just causing trouble.

    I ended the call asking him to tell Gordon to step down & stop taking taxpayers money for writing his own books.


  93. 93
    Kilobar says:

    I always thought Lord Paul was an old dyke

  94. 94
    QWERTY says:

    They have the Vaseline warming up as we speak.

  95. 95
    Sally Bercow says:

    Can I just inform you all that my legs are open between 11AM and 11 PM
    Entrance fee is a bottle of Jacobs Creek
    Make it Krug and you can do me up the shitter

  96. 96
    Hang The Bastards says:


    Tel: 01383 611702

    I asked why the bong-eyed twat had not been bothered to turn up. His “case worker” told me that he has been attending Westminster and has only had two weeks off after the election.

    When I put it to him that he had only turned up twice, he says that was just right wing media causing trouble!

    I tried to arrange an appoitment to see him, but there were no surgeries or dates. The helper just said he would take down my details and get back to me. He then went on to say that he handles the constituency issues on Gordons behalf.

    I asked what Gordon has been doing & he said he was visiting local people & PRIMARY SCHOOLS. I asked what the fuck use was that and he said “the kids get a lot out of it”!!! UNBELIEVEABLE ??

    I then asked him to explain exactly what a 6 year got out of a visit from Gordon. He then said I obviously didnt like Gordon & was just causing trouble.

    I ended the call asking him to tell Gordon to step down & stop taking taxpayers money for writing his own books.


  97. 97
    Kilobar says:

    when will his liver leave home.

  98. 98
    chris says:

    Politics can be very cruel when you are in favour it is wonderful but when your out you really are out, what a cruel sad world we live in

  99. 99
    Going forward says:

    Pretty good for 9.56 on a Tuesday morning

  100. 100
    You could make it up says:


  101. 101
    Al says:

    This site has been on autochat for a month. You have all been typing to an AI program.

  102. 102
    Jumbo sausage says:

    Beast, I heard your missus was partial to a portion of black pudding with some of that special caribbean sauce

  103. 103
    Can't remember he's a Belgian nonce says:

    That’s what Belgian means TaT. It means you’re a Belgian twat and not English. So fuck off TaT you Belgian nonce

  104. 104
    Mr weller says:

    Politicians boy

  105. 105
    The Warden says:

    Please do not hurt the loony’s

  106. 106
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    says TaT, the Scottish cock jockey.

  107. 107
    Cunty Kinte says:

    Orange Hunts shouldn’t be fuckin marching where they’re not wanted.


  108. 108
    NeverRed says:

    Castration would be too good for the scumbag. Two bricks would be a lot ‘fairer’

  109. 109
    Can't remember he's a Belgian nonce says:

    You’re Belgian TaT, that’s why you said you wanted to touch a child

  110. 110
    Lou Poles says:

    This government should be advised on “Virtual Residence”. A proposition that if your digital,electronic assets are present or travel via then you are resident under the act for purposes of tax.

  111. 111
    NeverRed says:

    No such word as ‘Scotish’. Call them scotch or northern british.

  112. 112
    Timestamps says:

    How strange the one comment that had info is not here.

  113. 113
    Old Tory Snob says:

    Guido, Mr Blair lives in W2 not W1, too poor for W1 I’m afraid.

  114. 114
    Saveloy Steve says:

    don’t be daft

    The Beast of Clerkenwell bats for the other side, who else do you know who goes by ‘another name’ – perfect for toilet trading

  115. 115
    NeverRed says:

    On second thoughts just skirt wearing scum sounds a lot better.

  116. 116
    Ruthless People says:

    FOI it man

  117. 117
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    My editor forced me to downplay any mention of the various pickles I’ve sniffed during my Labour years…

  118. 118
    Ruthless People says:

    well done satan,I said something similar but for some reason only our host knows it’s not here.

  119. 119
    Shagger Nokes says:

    If you bring a Bible you can do me up the shitter too

  120. 120
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I just called McMentals “Case worker”
    He assured me that he is not a Social worker
    and also hasnt a fucking clue where McMental is
    01383 611702
    I was also told off for using the word “piss” as in McMental taking it
    Im pretty sure the brooding twat is inside a primary school talking about fairness, hardworking families, and young boys in blue shorts

  121. 121
    sinosimon says:

    is there a law against wombling? authoritarian new labour bastards..i wondered why i hadn’t seen orinoco for a while

  122. 122
    I hate New Labour says:

    Was Brown ever in favour?

    Maybe for a week in May 1997.

  123. 123
    cant hunter says:

    Brown will not return to the House of Commons on a regular basis. He’ll probably go back occasionally–he feels too humiliated to return on a day to day basis, and as someone lacking in fibre he will not be prepared to tolerate the taunts and jokes at his expense, nor will he feel he has to defend his economic record against what he reagrds as a bunch of intellectually inferior shallow lightweights; ” How dare they question my competence ?”
    But what Brown is waiting for is the job offer that will mean he doesn’t have to put up with the humiliation. The offer might be national ( Scotland) or it may be international, preferably something that will enable him to defend his record or have influence on European or Uk economic progress. I cant see the likelihood of any offers, but as my Grandma used to say, ” a fool will always find a bigger fool to vouch for him”

  124. 124
    Ctesibius says:

    LADY Thatcher, SIR John Major

  125. 125
  126. 126
    Allah Akbar says:

    غبي الإنجليزية. لم يمض وقت طويل ونحن الآن سوف يكون سباق المهيمنة في بلدكم ، ثم

  127. 127
    cant hunter says:

    FFS this bloody moderation is getting on my tits–do you want people to contribute or not ? Some of the offensive ,crude stuff you let through surprises me. Just what are the criteria for ‘moderation’ ?

  128. 128
    Kilobar says:

    That would have required a flight back up there.

  129. 129
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Jock Cock Jock!

  130. 130

    Just looked at your site – i laughed so hard i had to squeeze the end of my cock to stop wee coming out.

    “what a cruel sad world we live in”.

    Yes we do, get over it you fucking pissflap. Over sensitive little mong.

  131. 131

    Stop badgering them both please.

  132. 132
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    F*** off you cant

  133. 133
    The Earth says:

    That’s right blame me,it’s never you the people who are cruel and sad specimens.

  134. 134
    Blue Lady says:

    And who’s paying for this little social gathering – no doubt it’s us. Shouldn’t it be coming out of Nuliebore’s coffers? Oh of course, they’re in the same position as they’ve left the country – bankrupt. How long will it be before Brown is given a peerage, that will be the final insult. Brown does not belong in England, he has meddled in English only matters for too long. The Scots voted for him, he should stay in Scotland and vote on Scottish matters which of course he can’t. It is time England stood up and demanded equality with the rest of the UK. If we had our own Parliament like the Scots, not only would be never have to see Brown again but English taxpayers would not have to pay for him to do nothing.
    As for Lord and Lady Prescot, their hypocrisy is sickening. I hope when/if the Lords is reformed to an elected chamber all these pathetic cronies’ snouts are placed into the biggest trough and filled with cement.

  135. 135

    This is not raoulmotely funny.

  136. 136
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    On Five Live Drive, Peter Jones asked some hack from The Times ‘Where’s Gordon?’

    The standard reply of visiting schools was given, along with spending time in his constituency and visiting businesses. No examples were given, but I suppose it is time to check the insolvency registers for Kirkaldy and Cowdenbeath.

    I did wonder if he was visiting Mr Purcell, the former rising star of ScotLab in Glasgow.

    It looks very odd that journalists are willing to go along with the line that the Saviour of the known world is resting, writing and visiting his constituents.
    Yet Brown is failing to vote, provide leadership to the Labour Party, or attacking the Coalition.

    Perhaps the loss of power, office and influence has led to some sort of breakdown, but whichever way you look at it Brown’s behaviour is very, very odd.

  137. 137
    Kilobar says:

    So why is a diamond and jewelry spad like you into all that shit? Must pay,get a grant?

  138. 138
    Kilobar says:

    ask and be modded more was the warning

  139. 139
    BBC says:

    Yeah but we don’t talk abou that

  140. 140
    purpleline says:

    Labour Scottish one-eyed son of the Mince v Labour MP English chap stabbed in West Ham.

    1) Scottish Labour mental case only does two days work since being evicted from Labour commune in Westminster.

    2) English Labour MP stabbed and returns to work in the House after a short period.

    No fan of Labour but admire the chap who got stabbed by a Muslim terrorist who returns to work to do his duty, what a pity Brown is a coward and work-shy hoon

  141. 141

    I think your energy is wasted here and would perhaps be better channeled as a call centre worker for The Samaritans, Mr P.

  142. 142
    Kilobar says:

    May 2010 to …….. The Public

  143. 143
    Cherie Blair says:

    I do voluntary work for £100,000 per hour. I have to because I came from a working-class family, racially persecuted by the Tory press so now I always fret about money: do I get the 15 or 16 bedroom mansion?

    I just pray the police never come for Tony.

  144. 144
    Coined officially says:

    scottish scotish there now there is a word.

  145. 145

    “went with GB to lovely Labour Party reception with @HarrietHarman plus Lord and Lady @johnprescott – *top* time”


    Tops and fingers from Prezza: lucky girl.

  146. 146
    Dr. Phil says:

    Brown’s an effing phsyco.

  147. 147
    Phil says:

    It’s just a theory but if he overdosed on his medication he may well have shot down to the smoke in a drug fuelled haze to welcome our victorious football team back from their now legendary exploits in Africa as any prime minister of his stature would.

  148. 148
    Warden says:

    be kind to the loony’s

  149. 149
    Great Uncle Bulgaria says:

    Ahhhh… Madam Cholet – now there was one sweet hot momma!

  150. 150
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    I should have added On Five Live Drive yesterday evening Peter Jones asked…

    I’m sure that The Times hack didn’t mention that Brown was in Westminster.

  151. 151
    Tesco Is Shite says:

    He’s an ignorant turd with a willy ‘the size of a cocktail sausage.’ Ashcroft!!

  152. 152
    Fuck history Geography is the fact says:

    Look at the map,it’s all EIRE not stuck to Scotland or England

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    I say make him British Ambassador to Easter Island.

    Or special envoy to South Georgia, where he can lecture the Penguins all day about his brilliant statesmanship.

  154. 154
    Lennon's dog says:

    Sally fish bucket is a right ………..!!! She loves all the perks and privileges of her Husband’s office, but doesn’t care that she makes a right ars*hole of herself. If she’s a celebrity gawd help us all. I would feel sorry for John Bercow, but he’s just as delusional as she is. What a pair of tit brains. Bercow and Sally fish bucket should be thrown out of Speakers House and then they could fumigate the place.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    I occasionally drive past a road sign pointing toward an Equestrian AI Centre. I still can’t work out why anyone would want to emulate the reasoning powers of a horse, although I suppose it doesn’t need any more computational power than a pocket calculator.

  156. 156
    friendly hangman says:

    What have the penguins done to deserve such a fate!!

  157. 157
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Gordon’s week gets off to a good start, with Peter Mandelslime’s book release serialised in the Times rag.

    Mandelslime is supposed to be on Andrew Marr show this coming weekend, I wonder what weak questions he will get from Marr.

  158. 158
    Hang The Bastards says:

    100% accurate reporting.

    If it is bullchit then ring for yourself !

  159. 159
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Brown is indeed the Raoul Moat of British politics – a hulking sociopath, holed up in the middle of nowhere, scribbling a load of self-justifying bollocks. I suppose a similar outcome is too much to hope for.

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, you cant have two or more countries on the same island. That’ll be like sticking England, Scotland and Wales on the same Island.

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Yea, go on then All! Here is some squiggly writing for you………….gohomegohomegohomegohomegohonegohome……….

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    That’s when he’s actually in the country of course.

  163. 163
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Did you know, TT, that badgers are sometimes called Brocks and their alternative collective noun, to sets, is clans?

    Makes you wonder. I love going up to Scotland but I shall keep my back to the wall even more now.

  164. 164
    DJFunk2 says:


  165. 165
    AI program says:

    What do you mean? All the comments are autogenerated by me.

  166. 166
    A United Ireland In Return For a says:

    You’re welcome to it as far as I’m concerned.

  167. 167
    Roger Daley says:

    Humiliated ? Embarrassed ? F’uck Blair and Brown

    3 more British soldiers by at the hands of a renegade Afghan soldier

    More blood on your bastard hands !

  168. 168
    A United Ireland In Returnn For A United England says:

    Damn! Messed up me new moniker!

  169. 169
    Roger Daley says:

    So angry -meant to say “killed” by or should that have been “executed” ?

  170. 170
    Coughs and sneezes says:

    You should lay off the fags and get a rent rebate.

  171. 171
    Budgie says:

    They only march because you don’t like it. Even more simples ….

  172. 172
    Lord Chipolata of Hull says:

    And I ate all the pies too!

  173. 173
    Duane Higgs-Boson says:

    Perhaps it’s code for “Homo House”?

  174. 174

    I visit Jockland to shoot the occasional quadruped, good solid people and spectacular Highland countryside, spoiled by foul pubs and fouler food.

  175. 175

    Ooops….did a bit of a Gordon there (i.e. misused my colon) – should have written:-

    “I visit Jockland to shoot the occasional quadruped: good solid people and spectacular Highland countryside, spoiled by foul pubs and fouler food.”

  176. 176
    sinosimon says:

    surely ‘tidy bird’ ?

  177. 177
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Makes a change from the inch high private eye club
    We all know why her husband claimed for step ladders on his exes
    It wasnt to hang new pugin wallpaper

  178. 178
    TOO FAR says:

    Sod it, “jocks” then FFS

  179. 179
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Jesus, the Northumbria police will be after you!

    Restated thus:

    “Jesus! The Northumbria police will be after you!”

  180. 180
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    …. or France and Holland on St Martin in the Caribbean; Republic of Cyprus in and the Turkish republic of North Cyprus; Haiti and the Dominican Republic on Hispaniola; Papua New Guinea and Indonesia on New Guinea; Sarawak, Sabah and Brunei on Borneo.

    It would be crazy, could not possibly happen in this world.

  181. 181
    Lay Down Sally says:

    New Liebour Sponsors……

    Sally Bercow new Martini girl…..anytime, any place, anwhere…….

    She has to be the only bird in Westminster that spreads easier than Flora…..

    We should call her Oxo Tower, judging by the number of people who’ve been up there….

    She’s had more pricks than a haemophiliac……

    oh and she definitely takes it up the shitter

    I have it on good authority she once got nobbed in Soho Square after a night at Home nightclub Leicester Sq (now closed) while her pal kept lookout smoking on other side of railing. Slapper.

  182. 182
    Mike (England) says:

    cant we make it ambassador to some god forsaken islamic shithole at least when he was in power he did plenty for that cult so lets allow him to live how they want us to live.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    Playing the race card ? Next it’ll be sex discrimination.

  184. 184
    Rufus Stone says:

    Maybe, but what would any of them be worth swapping for?

  185. 185
    Rufus Stone says:


  186. 186
    Rufus Stone says:

    “Two bricks? Will it hurt?”

    “Only if you you trap your thumbs.”

  187. 187
    ichabod says:

    That’s by far the most interesting contribution to Mr Fawkes’s pages that i’ve read for ages.

  188. 188
    Genghiz the Kahn says:

    Thought JB had claimed for a bucket, to sling over her head whilst he holds on to the handle.

  189. 189
    Sailor says:

    Is that what they call a “Quick starter for 10″

    Add some sand for extra rough.

  190. 190
    Sailor says:

    At least a half set of golf clubs or a broken record player.

  191. 191
    Mark Oaten says:

    Here, have a fag.

  192. 192

    Why isn’t the media creating a fuss over this creature taking money out of the public purse and not doing his job ?

    There is going to be a special place in hell for Brown.

  193. 193
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Funny, a turd in ermine still looks just like a turd.

    You really couldn’t make it up!

  194. 194
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    You don’t rent your fags anymore?

  195. 195

    I can’t believe vultures like yourselves are still attacking Brown, the man steered the whole world out of a global Recession and you criticise him for spending time in his constituency.

    Whilst we speak the coalition government is taking peoples’ schools away, removing housing benefit and racking up VAT. The Conservatives have been in power two months have and already set us back on the road to recession.

  196. 196
    Gay Gordon says:

    Making good use of the bushes we find
    Touching our toes while we bare our behinds
    In the bogs, down the park
    Cottaging free
    Gordon of Westminster
    bumming with glee

  197. 197
    Dave Cam says:

    Caroline, please satisfy my salacious mind. Is it true you also like wolf cookies and scotch-egging?

  198. 198
    Two Shags says:

    You ate the whole fucking pie shop you big fat c,unt.

    Is Gordon Brown a good prime minister in that horseshit world of yours where you are bulimic?

  199. 199
    Black Rod says:

    Can just imagine her smoking a Bratwurst in the Strangers Bar.

  200. 200
    Eye Spy says:

    if you mean Gil McNeil then yes but they meet regularly at a friends house in Herne Hill

  201. 201
    James Gordon Spiteman says:

    Drinking Guinness, that would be the wrong thing to do.

  202. 202
    Comrade V L Ulyanov says:

    Министр Huhne сказал: “Я позвонил Бенгалии Карри ресторане и обсуждали проблемы, связанные с поставками газа пердеть в некоторых частях Вест Хэм”. Клегг заверил меня, что он изучит этот вопрос и вернуться ко мне после разговора с … лидеров тори лет “.

  203. 203
    Zanu McSporran-Bodger says:

    Ambassador to Zimbabwe, sounds about right to me

  204. 204
    Shaw Taylor says:

    Murder of Rachel Nickell?

    Keep ‘em peeled.

  205. 205
    Biffo says:

    Dunno but bring it on!

  206. 206
    Biffo says:

    An international job for Gordon that matches his capabilities? May I again suggest lab rat for Dignitas?

  207. 207
    Biffo says:

    That comparison is an insult to Raoul Moat.

  208. 208
    Biffo says:

    How about a double thickness brown paper bag over his head? It would certainly improve him & is the right thing to do.

  209. 209
    Biffo says:

    It’s OK being ‘out of favour’ if you have been a hardworking MP who has claimed expenses honestly & worked hard for his/her constituents – however – if you’re Gordon Brown………. – and you deserve every last little bit of shit you get.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers