July 9th, 2010

Commons Drinks Up Just 5%

Regular readers will remember much fanfare from Bercow when he announced that, in these austere times, the cost of subsidised food and drink on the Parliamentary Estate would be rising, bringing it into line with “high-street” rivals. So the cheaper end of the real world.

Half a million quid will be removed from the subsidy, but what does that actually mean in practice? Guido’s man behind the bar whispered that for all the press releases and back slapping, the plan is to only put prices up by a meagre 5%. The Commons bars and terraces will still be the cheapest place to drink in town even after this small rise. The Guinness is half price by Central London standards, cheers.


  1. 1
    Dack Blog says:

    Cheeky barstewards.

  2. 2
    Keg Buster says:


    They really consider Foster a beer? How quaint. They’ll be stocking Watneys next.

  3. 3
    Keg Buster says:

    Fuckit. Fosters, not Foster.

  4. 4
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    Fuckin barstards its still cheaper than the beer round here (essex)

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    the KCL SU is cheaper actually, fosters is only £2.05

  6. 6
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    Time to prep the lamposts

  7. 7
    Contrafibularities says:

    the KCL SU is actually cheaper at £2.05 for a fosters

  8. 8
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    [OT] Never let it be said the money we give to Afghanistan isn’t being well spent.

  9. 9
    Mong Zoo says:

    Hail all us who banned ourselves

  10. 10
    Fred Dibna says:

    Military jets now for Moaty,this is a fucking joke at our expense

  11. 11
    Cider says:

    Lying troughers, they had a cheek to try and impose an increase the price of cider for the taxpayers.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Troughing b***ards

  13. 13
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    I am going to the pub

  14. 14
    Fu**ed off says:

    Hear hear!

  15. 15
    Mr T says:

    get some nuts

  16. 16
    GBSMP says:

    Well spotted. It is, of course, tap water, to which has been added: colouring, flavouring, preservatives and a bottle of neat alcohol, all mixed together and carbonated in a big vat.

  17. 17
    Groucho says:

    1 in 10 of all the armed police in the UK.
    The entire Northumbria Police Force.
    The SAS.
    Now the RAF.

    All outwitted by a doorman.

    If they really want to catch him, tell HMRC he has been fiddling his taxes.

  18. 18
    GBSMP says:

    Yes, but Plod have found three phones!

    I thought they were looking for an on-the-run murderer, but, no, apparently they were looking for phones, so Plod’s very happy.

  19. 19
    T Bliar says:

    Shildon Labour Club is cheaper than that.

    Mind you it is a complete shit hole

  20. 20
    Spongers says:

    Are these prices from around 10 years ago?

  21. 21
    Moderated says:

    Eh? Why am I being moderated?

  22. 22
    bunker buster says:

    Are they going to Bomb him?

  23. 23
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    This bastard coalition.

    The Amateur Swimming Association has expressed its disappointment after learning that £25 million of funding which was due to rejuvenate the nation’s swimming pools has been axed as part of the Government’s spending cuts – but has acknowledged the move was not unexpected and urged its supporters to vote Labour at the next General Election

    The money – due to be allocated by Sport England on behalf of government departments DCMS and DfE – was going to be made available to modernise council and education pools.

    Forty-four projects in total have been affected and they are being informed that their applications will now not go forward.

  24. 24
    Liam Bryne says:

    Sorry , theres no money left .

  25. 25
    GBSMP says:

    I think in the spirit of equality and diversity, they should impose Sharia law on the Houses of Parliament. Quaffing beer should probably be a good whipping, and forcing the taxpayer to subsidise the beer (and Fosters) is theft, so that’s a bit of amputation.

    Then a bit more amputation for the expenses scandal. Any penalties for lying? Maybe a bit of stoning. Back-date all punishments to 1990. Cool?

  26. 26
    Taxfodder says:

    After all the bluster and bullshit about “all in it together” typically Westminster serves itself greater helpings than everybody else!

    You can always rely on the likes of Bercow have his piggy snout up the front.

  27. 27
    pissedanbroke says:

    twice as pissed for the same money in the real world…not a bad deal..tring I thank you

  28. 28
    Mrs Smith...Rochester says:

    guido ask your barman to tell us how many bar tabs from the outgoing Mps remain unsettled

  29. 29
    Michael Gove says:

    I ‘m sure that I speak for the entire country when I convey the coalitions best wishes to the England Football team in sunday’s World Cup Final against Ghana

  30. 30
    Shoot first, ask questions later says:

    I reckon Moaty is a dead ringer for Gazza. I would strongly advise all tall well built Geordies to stay well clear of Rothbury

  31. 31
    Cheers says:

    Brew your own,it’s cheaper,purer and stronger

  32. 32
    Cheers says:

    ps,and the muzzy on the night shift can’t piss in it.

  33. 33
    Ex-German Internationals Watch says:


  34. 34
    GBSMP says:

    Public swimming pools. Those are the things chavs p!ss in, aren’t they?

  35. 35
    Liam Bryne says:

    Sounds good to me

  36. 36
    Theresa May says:

    Police have reported significant developments in the case of Raoul Moat now they have found three of his mobile phone handsets.

    It means that using state of the art GPS technology, they will be able to use satellites to plot the exact location that they are in whilst they fail to find him.

  37. 37
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    [OT] Capello announces Englands new sponsors.

  38. 38
    bandit says:

    I distill my own vodka,fuck the customs I have my own and it’s called pay the tax to me.Its a custom I urge everyone to take up.

  39. 39
    Doc Trough. says:

    Please feel free to add ‘body’ to parliamentary refreshments. Hawk one up for the populace.

  40. 40
    Moderated says:

    Are these costs from around 10 years ago. What was the price of bear in 2002 per pynt. Lying troughers!

  41. 41
    Ho Chi Minh says:

    They will be spraying the area with agent orange next.

  42. 42
    GBSMP says:

    I’d need a production line to quench my thirst, and my home’s not big enough.

    Waitrose are doing a deal on Abbot Ale at the moment; 8 500ml cans for £8. I got slaughtered on it last night, after the bottle of wine and 2 G&Ts.

  43. 43
    Can't afford a drink says:

    I can only afford the 2.99 bottle of Lambrini wine from the local off license and it is like drinking my own piss.

  44. 44
    LOL says:

    Police were today investigating a dramatic new sighting of fugitive gunman Raoul Moat – brazenly walking down the High Street of the Northumberland village at the centre of the police hunt.
    Details of the incredible sighting came just hours after temporary Chief Constable Sue Sim told a village meeting: ‘I’m not saying he is going to be walking down the street with a gun.’


  45. 45
  46. 46
    Fred Dibna says:

    what he looks like today

  47. 47
    Penfold says:

    Yea, and pigs might fly, when ejected from a ballista.

    Moats’ in London, laughing his balls orff, and plotting his next assassination or 3.

    What a load of Huntz.
    No arguments here for cutting police numbers and ridding opurselves of morons.

  48. 48
    Sall Bercow is a loose slag that I would do up the bum says:

    How much does Sally drink

  49. 49
  50. 50
    GBSMP says:

    That sounded like such a good idea, I googled “how to distil vodka” and found this part of a FAQ:

    “3) Will it make me blind ?
    Not if you’re careful.”

    I think I’ll stick to the shops.

  51. 51
    Penfold says:

    The loot was going to be spent making them Muslim friendly, i.e. closed to all the rest of the local community.

  52. 52
    Guardian the donuts lol says:

    ‘Such is the state of alarm in Rothbury that armed officers are even standing guard outside the village bakery’

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1293342/Roaul-Moat-Did-fugitive-gunman-walk-high-street-manhunt-town.html#ixzz0tCFRauGh

  53. 53
    Lady Tottington spotted in Rothbury disguised as a police woman says:

    In disguise

    In the flesh

  54. 54
    Guarding the donuts lol says:

    *guarding the donuts even

  55. 55
    Convict says:

    I sent a letter out to the wife saying the jewelry from the robbery was in the garden. when they finish I’ll send them a postcard thanking them for digging it.

  56. 56
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Thank God we didn’t scrap Trident

  57. 57
    Diversity queen says:

    Bearing in mind they are all pissheads anyway profits shoukld be up.

    Will Lard Prescott still be scoffing there???

  58. 58
    Speaker Bercow says:

    The police have reported that they’ve found Raoul Moat’s 3 phones.

    How embarrassing for him, that’s such a shit network.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    GBSMP says:


    If the Amateur Swimming Association wants to improve swimming pools, why don’t the swimming pool operators increase the admission fee a bit, and use the extra revenue to improve the swimming pool?

    That way, people who don’t use swimming pools (because they’re full of chav p!ss), aren’t forced to pay for their upkeep. Or is that too difficult a concept for Martin Day and others of a socialist mindset to grasp?

  61. 61
    Dig for Victory says:

    My local rural leisure is a fantastic example. Those wicked thatcherites built and it was well used. Under a labour council and labour government it went downhill and was closed 2007 due to H&fuckingS. A local businessman gathered enough funds and skilled tradesmen to re-open it, council says no, wait till we have more money so we can have something greater than anyone wants or needs. Roll on 3 years, and labour have pissed the funds up the wall. A generation of local kids are now unable to swim. Vote labour to make dark thoughts reality.

  62. 62
    He's behind you. says:

    That man walking up behind her Looks like Moaty

  63. 63
    Lord Mandy of Dotheboys says:

    The Met could deal with this by following him onto a bus, letting him get off, fo down the underground, sit down on a train – and then shoot him.

  64. 64
    Litter Bug says:

    Three phones
    One Duvet
    And a tent.

    If they can’t pin the shootings on him at least they can do him for fly tipping

  65. 65
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Guido, any chance of getting a few menus from the different restaurants to see how their meals are subsidised?

  66. 66
    Dig for Victory says:

    Collect or buy 26 demijohns from charity shops/local tip, forage or grow as much as possible, strawberries just finished, rhubarb going well, blackberries in flower, elderberries starting to swell. Once you are up and running, just buy sugar (poundland) and you’ll have 6 bottles a week.


  67. 67
    GBSMP says:

    The local businessman’s plan presumably didn’t tick all the correct multi-culti diversity boxes.

    Did the plans for the diving board show access for wheelchairs? Was there a prayer area, with room for prayer mats?

  68. 68
    Sir Raoul Moat, Always outnumbered, never outgunned says:

    So yoos fooking soft southarn bastards dont sell newky brown like?

    Whayay arm gonna fooking come darn to that London and fooking unload with a fooking 12 guage in this fooking strangers bar like, you soft bastards see arn doont like.

    Just gotta blow away some fooking drama queen coppers first like, but you bastards is on me list like

    Howay the lads like

  69. 69
    GBSMP says:

    That does sound fun. Thank you, I will try it.

  70. 70
    Sir William Waad says:

    They have a choice of pseudo-Australian beer, pseudo-French beer, pseudo-Irish beer, pseudo-German beer, pseudo-pseudo-German beer or pseudo-Czech beer.

    What’s he wine cellar like? Or can you get a decent malt?

  71. 71
    MB. says:

    Is the booze duty free there with it being Crown property like army messes?

  72. 72
    Ex TimesOnline user says:

    Email from Times HQ … Mandelson reveals Labour’s deepest, darkest secrets … subscribe NOW!

    No, fuck off.

  73. 73
    GBSMP says:

    They could do him, but not if he lives in a caravan. If you live in a caravan, fly-tipping is legal.

  74. 74
    P. Doff says:

    I misread the last word (vat) and immediately thought… who in the HoC or HoL would fit the description, “colouring, flavouring, preservatives and a bottle of neat alcohol, all mixed together and carbonated in a big twat.”

    Any guesses?

  75. 75
    Sir William Waad says:

    Only in the world of licensed premises is £1.30 half of £2.40.

  76. 76
    Hic!!!! says:

    It works. Parsnip wine is dynamite, as is sugar beet (should you live in Norfolk and can source the beet).
    Elderflower champagne ready at the weekend. Cheers!

  77. 77
    Maddie says:

    Dear Mr Moat, if you want to hide from the police, the best place to go is Portugal

  78. 78
    Nick Clegg says:

    Northumbria police have taken fish off their canteen menu.
    A spokesman said “There will be no more little fishies on the little dishies till the Moat comes in..”

  79. 79
    GBSMP says:

    Good man.

    So they’re getting desperate, then?

  80. 80
    Lord Prescott of Mount Temple says:

    Of course I have considerable influence in these matters. I’ll bring down the price of them pies an’ all.

  81. 81
    Tim says:


    And, Guido, where the hell are you drinking that Guiness costs £4.40????? That’s mental.

  82. 82
    David Cameron's Press Officer says:

    I hope it turns out that Raoul Moat got on a boat to France.
    It would be great to see the whole country surrender to one gunman!

  83. 83
    Times ex-reader says:

    The Times has, quite literally, ceased to exist.

  84. 84
    Anthony Steen (Sir) says:

    A little tipple is warther what is wequired when we’re woking or westing in the House and you’re all jealous. Mine is like the bwand they dwink in Balmowal and it suits me warther nicely, don’tcha know.

  85. 85
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Sppoky. That’s 2 summers on the trot the word “moat” has been all over the headlines.

  86. 86
    GBSMP says:

    I can think of at least 640 suggestions. Plus however many are in the Lords.

  87. 87
    Mr Plum says:

    They will have to water down their expectations

  88. 88
    Berk - Ow says:

    Don’t believe a word of what I say. It’s meant only for the Daily Mail.

  89. 89
    P. Doff says:

    Moat used his loaf… now the Plod want their cake and eat it!

  90. 90
    Engineer says:

    Just the minor problem of getting a nuclear submarine up to Rothbury. How deep is the River Coquet?

  91. 91
    Kutz says:

    now if we all stopped voting

  92. 92
    Mr Plum says:

    They have modernised out local pool, the shallow end was 3 feet deep now it is only .90m deep

  93. 93
    P. Doff says:

    Never got over 1066 did we!

    Ah well… Harold never saw the point either!

  94. 94
    pissedanbroke says:

    yes but close Sir William..don’t think my butler studied the maths to the nearest 10p when he bought this matter to my attention but have a large one on him in compensation then nod off again…..hic cheers barf tring

  95. 95
  96. 96
    Enjineer says:

    Yeah, I’m amazed that the Police are having such trouble shooting dead a bloke with a Brazillian sounding name.

  97. 97
    Dorothy Perkins says:

    i want to know if they will be messing about with the the ploughman’s chutney portion

  98. 98
  99. 99
    Enjineer says:

    I’d advise him to stay away from the tube though. They’ve been practicing there.

  100. 100
    tit says:

    yes but its what the abbots put in that stuff thats out of order…dirty habits these religious brewers

  101. 101
    Engineer says:

    Where I worked, any form of tipple was not allowed on the premises. Why on earth do we allow the people running the country (supposedly) to do so when half the time they are all “tired and emotional”?

    Isn’t there a case for banning the stuff from Parliament altogether?

  102. 102
    Fair's fair though says:

    ….. but the whores are pricier

  103. 103
    Plum Duff says:

    I like and egg nog with my cheese on toast

  104. 104
    Liam Fox says:

    Northumbria Police will be offered all the assistance required from the army,navy and air force in their efforts to apprehend Raoul Moat. If that is insufficient, we have now moved two Polaris submarines off the mouth of the Tyne and our NATO partners has been put on standby.

  105. 105
    Engineer says:

    No Marston’s Pedigree, I note.

    Good; fine beverages such as that shouldn’t be wasted on those tossers.

  106. 106
    Sheddedbutupright says:

    in days gone by the russkie tank crews used to drink the brake fluid when the vloddy vodka ran out…apparently it was highly toxic and a real killer but they could stop on a sixpence

  107. 107
    Groucho says:

    There’s always Blyth harbour. Blyth already looks as if it has been nuked.

  108. 108
    Moaty says:

    Yer name’s on the list and you’re going down

  109. 109
    Paul, the psychic octopus says:

    Moaty 4 – Filth 1

  110. 110
    AC1 says:

    You want to swim?

    Pay the price of entry to a swimming pool rather than expect your non-swimming taxpayers to foot your own bills.

  111. 111
    Beer name spellchecker says:


  112. 112
    Paul, the psychic octopus says:

    Moaty 5 – Fuzz 1 after ET

  113. 113
    Mr Goaf says:

    Is that the school rebuilding list wondered where it was.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Filthy pikey scum.

  115. 115
    Elton John says:

    Live Police meeting on SKY, constant social worker talk about communities and teams, its more like a primitive womb therapy session.

    This is what Labour have done to the Police.

    Just catch the criminal, that is your job.

  116. 116
    Unsworth says:

    Yes, but so much more versatile. Get the shots after, of course.

  117. 117
    Groucho says:

    Excellent – I knew I recognised her from somewhere!

    That barnet is the result of wearing a police helmet for 20 years

  118. 118
  119. 119
    Dark Lord says:

    You wouldn’t want to drink any of that pasteurised rubbish anyway.

  120. 120
    GBSMP says:

    So now’s a pretty good time to raid a bank in London?

  121. 121
    Phewwotascorcher says:

    with hair like that the acting chief constable needs protection against being assaulted by Raoul Gummidge…although looking at the kisser he’ll probably just give her a headboarding.

  122. 122
    Engineer says:

    Alternatively, an old chap in a tatty Barbour and a flat cap could track him down in hours with a couple of bloodhounds.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Did the fuckers have to lay on a health & safety briefing to all attendees before kick off?


    If one of Moats m8s is reading this please pass on my best wishes at such a show of guile and tenacity.

  124. 124
    Unsworth says:

    Manages to spill quite a lot, so probably about 60%

  125. 125
    Sid and Doris Bonkers of Neasden says:

    whats happened to dixon of dockgreen types rozzers…you know the ones..good clip round the ear ‘get along there sonny’ friendly sorts with a whistle and a truncheon ?

  126. 126
    Ed Balls says:

    Apparently Raoul Moat is on Twitter, the Police are following him.

  127. 127
    Temporary Chief Constable Sue Slim says:

    I fully expect my position to be made permanent at the conclusion of this operation.

  128. 128
    Gordon brown says:

    Moaty not caught yet? I blame Sue.

  129. 129
    GBSMP says:

    William the Conqueror wasn’t French, he was Norman.

  130. 130
    Dufflebag says:

    Cool Hand Luke operation needed

  131. 131
    streamfisher says:

    Questions will be raised in the House, it might even lead to a pubic enquiry.

  132. 132
    Dig for Victory says:

    I thought that was the last thing he saw

  133. 133
    sticky wicket says:

    I hear the Bishops Finger is quite popular in some parts.

  134. 134
    Numpty says:

    Tens of thousands of kids are gonna have to continue their education in sub standard surroundings and you a bleating about the cost of a pint in the commons bar. You really are pathetic

  135. 135
    Gene Hunt says:

    Do you reckon they really talk like that when the cameras are not there? It was crude propaganda.

  136. 136
    wrecked says:

    try the piss it will probably taste better

  137. 137
    GBSMP says:

    He was last seen in B&Q, so just listen out for someone shouting, “this B&Q own-brand stuff is a load of fecking useless shite.”

  138. 138
    Elton John says:

    Copper on SKY said wha tius hampering the search is ensuring the safety of officers, we are sued to missing persons operations – but – get this – unfortunately this man is actually attempting to evade capture!!

  139. 139
    Lord Land says:

    Only when they are doing their Home work.

  140. 140
    You'rehavingalarf says:

    careful numpty don’t get humpty

  141. 141
    Joe Public says:

    In yer dreams Gummidge.

  142. 142
    I'll get my coat says:

    There was a Policeman from Clapham Junction
    whose organ just wouldn’t function
    for the rest of his life
    he deceived his poor wife
    with snot on the end of his truncheon

  143. 143
    Man of the People says:

    No wonder fat barsteward Watson was so pissed when he made his ‘emotional’ tirade against Michael Gove. I can see now why all the NuLieber are so vicious – they are rat-arsed!

  144. 144
    Labour Lice says:

    Are the Palace of Westminster bars still exempt from Blair’s smoking ban?

  145. 145
    GBSMP says:

    Bonus points if they say “diversity” or “cohesion” or “moving forward the police service experience”.

    Government need to sack every police officer and make them all re-apply for their jobs.

    And no, Sue, don’t bother.

  146. 146
    Labour Lice says:

    Numpty is a scotch prat with a substandard education.

  147. 147
    GiveUzAnother says:

    if you came to the press conference with the rollers in or with your head under one of those dark age hair dryers we might take you more seriously…and whilst we’re at it try speaking at a pace slightly beyond andy pandy for beginners.

  148. 148
    Mr Goaf says:

    Have you tried Old Cocky lately

  149. 149
    Carrot Top says:

    Labour had 13 years to sort it out and the coalition has only had a few weeks.

  150. 150
    P.Doff says:

    I can’t wait for Moaty to get banged up with me, and give me a good seeing to in the showers.

  151. 151
    GBSMP says:

    have to continue their education in sub standard surroundings

    Damn. If only Labour had won in 1997. They would have had education as a top priority, and would have poured hundreds of billions of pounds into it over the last 13 years, so no child would have to have a sub-standard school.
    Damn those evil Tories. Damn them to Hell.

  152. 152
    streamfisher says:

    Well there you have it, he was a wrong ‘un all along but got found out in the end they always do y’know (Chief Inspector Ian Blair), G’night and mind how you go.

  153. 153
    gargle says:

    Look about the same as Wetherspoons prices

  154. 154
    Cynic says:

    All these wingers need to realise that these is no money left. If you want a pool get out there and raise the cash… don’t just grind on about it

  155. 155
    GBSMP says:

    Poacher’s Choice is another good one.

  156. 156
    Teresa May says:

    If he is ever caught Mr Moat will be offered a special advisory position in the Home Office. His knowledge and experience will be invaluable in our task of providing value-for-money policing.

  157. 157
    Mr Plum says:

    Probably let him out on bail

  158. 158
    Churlish Mustard says:

    Yes, that would be “the cheaper end of the real world”.

    Apparently it is not enough that they charge the same as a Wetherspoons in central London, they have to charge the same as the poser wine bars Guido evidently spends so much money at.

  159. 159
    Tim says:

    Ooops…thanks for the correction.

  160. 160
    Bishop John Nerhig Sentamucerhoon says:

    Dirty evil corrupt bastards. And they do no work. All the filth do is vote how the whips tell them, and stuff their pig faces.

    MPs are are dirty evil filth. They should be burned. They are all thieves liars and paedophiles. We should cut the throats out of MPs and piss on them as the choke on their own blood.

  161. 161
    George W says:

    Is our children learning?

  162. 162
    Doris Day says:

    Gordon swims in pool without his incontinence pants.
    Witness heard to say “I’m not really swimming, I’m just going through the motions”

  163. 163
    Engineer says:

    St Austell’s Brewery used to do one called Brown Willy. It was named after Cornwall’s highest hill, of course.

  164. 164
    Jethro says:

    oh shit I’m fucked I’ve got 27

  165. 165
    Jethro says:

    well I have one so off to bargain Booze and a test

  166. 166
    George W says:

    Hers can be policemen these days?

  167. 167
    HandsomeDavid says:

    I believe that there are five restaurants in the HOC.

  168. 168
    Jack the ripper 1.0 says:

    I have never been caught

  169. 169
    streamfisher says:

    Yes, a ‘Palace’ is conveniently exempt from most legislation, they can even employ illegal immigrant cleaners on £3 pounds an hour with no comebacks, about the price of a Languostine and Venison starter in one of their subsidised restaurants.

  170. 170
    Carry on Sergeant says:

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    Northumbria Police apologise for reading out ‘cards from kids’ on TV – one calling him a nutter lol.

    Jesus wept, they really are fucking useless.

    Using kids to garner support is fucking disgusting.

    Fuck off plod.

  172. 172
    Sir William Waad says:

    One of my staff tried to buy ten dozen clout nails for the piggery roofs. The ironmonger would only sell him twelve tens.

  173. 173
    northernplod says:

    they talk like william Shatner on startrek

  174. 174
    Elton John says:

    Sue laughing her tits off as it is read out, they absolutely beggar belief this lot, she deserves the sack for that alone.

  175. 175
    Scuffer says:

    good ale in the Knobs Head

  176. 176
    Dave says:

    we are not upping the bar prices in schools

  177. 177

    Cheers voters. Up yours

  178. 178
    Play us a troon tat says:

    you mean we are not talking about Troon

  179. 179
    Sir William Waad says:

    When Gordon hears that Great Division Bell in the sky I shall visit his grave and pour a whole bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild over it. Mind you, I’ll filter it through my kidneys first.

  180. 180
    Mr Plod says:

    Please remember all this effort is because he is threatening the public, if he was just threatening the police obviously we’d just shrug it off.

  181. 181
    Mr Moat says:

    I object to the police calling me a “nutter” at their news conference and will be instructing my lawyers to prepare a case for slander. I will be expecting substantial damages for this slur on my good name.

  182. 182
    Sinner says:

    I suppose confession is out the Father

  183. 183
    Mr Plod says:

    We’re so concerned about the public we’re all volunteers at the moment and not claiming overtime.

  184. 184
    Plodding Clowns LTD says:

    Book your place watching Northumbria police clowns for your child’s party,Special offer this week is Lady Trimmington,hurry now only a few bookings left.

  185. 185
    Mirror (Doh!!!) says:

    “a man fitting Moat’s description was spotted leaping from a hay bale”

  186. 186
    Lord Kingston-upon-Hull says:

    I’ll have the Aberdeen Angus, cut its throat wipe its arse and slap it on a plate with an extra portion of chips… certainly M’lud.

  187. 187
    Sheependers says:

    Working at the Nail Bar.

  188. 188
    Snotsicle says:

    KCL bar was always cheap but they served terrible Guinness.
    Is it still called the Nelson Mandela bar or did they change that once he was let out of prison?

  189. 189
    P. Doff says:

    I was here first so fuck off you pseud… get your own pseudo (with or without a space between your initial and name… or up your gay crack for that matter).

    BTW: Where do you hang out in the evenings?

  190. 190
    fuckem says:

    My local council pool is available to the general public for about 20hrs a week out of 90 odd total hours, i cant be fucked to memorise the weird timetable as im not a ‘lunchtime lady’ and couldn’t give a fuck about aquatone. Happily the local hotels are much better

  191. 191
    Beer Drinker says:

    Fosters is weasel pee

  192. 192
    Brucie says:

    is there a cuddly bear?

  193. 193
    Wallace says:

    Gwendoline, oh Gwedoline, what can I say, ohhhh myyyyy

  194. 194
    Geordie Hinny says:

    Whey man, ya cheeky bugga, like. Blyth folks is suffering wondering wees ganna be arrested next!

  195. 195
    Peter Hain says:

    Im in.

  196. 196
    Anonymous says:

    I’ll contribute to your legal fees!

  197. 197
    Bard says:

    You imply i am piggish Sir! I challenge thee!! Blackguard!!

  198. 198
    The Northumbria Police Force Dramatic Society says:

    This year’s pantomime will reflect the force’s slogan – “Total Policing”.

    Here are the leading members of the cast:


  199. 199
    Cleggy Weggy says:

    I guess having to drink Fosters is an appropriate punishment for joining the House of Asses.

  200. 200
    A. N. Alcoholic says:

    6 fucking bottles a week? What fucking fuck am i to do with six fucking bottles a week? All that effort for one night of being mildly tipsy? Go fuck. Costcutters do great 3 for £10 deals on fortified wines, tastes like shite but because i havent eaten in 4 months its a friggin bargain & i can still pay my rent. Though shitting in the communal hallway because i sincerely believe i am a pigeon occassionally, may just cause me to be evicted nonetheless.

    Brew your own is for losers.

  201. 201
    Mandy says:

    I’ll say it is!

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    and a double diamond as well no kingfisher those were the days

  203. 203
    Zarb says:

    most people who work in Westminster aren’t MPs, they are SpAds, researchers and caseworkers who, after the introduction of IPSA aren’t actually paid much – and don’t forget interns who aren’t paid at all.

    Subsidising food and drink is a necessity if you want to offset the cost of living and working in London, especially if you want more diversity in politics.

  204. 204
    paddy says:

    Are any bars at the commons or Lords franchises?

  205. 205
    GenghizTit says:

    irritating when someone does that P.Doff …u tell ‘em

  206. 206
    Commonsterracer says:

    you could be right but who wants to hobknob it in wetherspoons..full of drunk scotties paddies and taffys doing dusty springfield impressions

  207. 207
    MPsucker says:

    steady the buffs bish..you’re going to blow a gasket venting like that

  208. 208
    Fizz says:

    works wonders

  209. 209
    Bob's ur Uncle says:

    Can those that pay for this Club enjoy its privileged low cost bar?

  210. 210
    Baroness Uddin says:

    I think it’s shocking. Everyone in Parliament taking advantage of the taxpayer

  211. 211
    Ferking Brill says:

    no she now runs the Strumpet and Squit down the Bellend Road..not as young as she was but still a belter when shes shedded and theres a lock in – up on the tables she goes and bangs out a shirley bassey and still flashes the gash between verses just like the old days.

  212. 212
    Minesanarf says:

    yes but who wants to hobknob in wetherspoons full of drunk paddies jocks and taffys doing dusty springfield impressions all night when you can slum it on a commons terrace

  213. 213
    HazelNuts says:

    you’re not hazel in disguise are u ?

  214. 214
    TosserWatch says:

    education education education..fucked if I can remember who said that..tony somebody

  215. 215

    There are too many politicians, too many hangers on, too much politics.

    You seem to think you are entitled to a subsidy, if you think people want more politics, diverse or otherwise, ask them to donate to your party.

    They won’t because they are sick of it. Don’t ask the taxpayer to fund your lifestyle choice.

  216. 216
    Extra order for the big fat bastard in the santa suit says:

    and I’ll follow that with a Tracy Sundae double cherries and cumquoit

  217. 217
    Indigo says:

    Is it just me or does Temporary Chief Constable Sue Sim resemble “Alice” out of the Vicar of Dibley?

  218. 218
    oddbiners says:

    hey Zarb fuck of back to Zagreb or stick to making Zarbs..(crap swedish cars) as you don’t sound like a Spad…not a spade are you ?

  219. 219
    the old Dufflebag says:

    is she the Sue that booked the bigot ?

  220. 220
    Dark Lord says:

    Who would appoint a Chief Constablewith a voice and hair cut like that.

  221. 221
    GBSMP says:

    Do you sh!t blood too? I do.

  222. 222
    GBSMP says:

    I’m going to deposit a curry on him. After I’ve eaten it and washed it down with milk.

    I’m lactose intolerant.

  223. 223
    GBSMP says:

    “especially if you want more diversity in politics”

    No. No one wants ‘more diversity’ in politics. We look at the wasteland that Britain – and in particular, England – has become under Labour’s Great Experiment, and ‘more diversity’ is the last thing we want.

  224. 224
    Nick2 says:

    The beer prices appear to be amazingly cheap, especially by comparison with riverside pub prices.

    However, who would willingly drink Kronenburg 1664 or Fosters? Both being fizzy, acidic and tasteless (not to mention both being locally brewed knock-offs of international brands). Hmmm – I begin to see their popularity in the Houses of Parliament…

  225. 225
    Indigo says:

    Had the Times arranged to serialise Mandy’s book on-line – where no one will read it? Tee hee.

  226. 226
    Anonymous says:

    WTF are they doing drinking alcohol at work anyway????
    There is absolutely no case for having booze there at all.
    If they “need” it, they’re not fit to run the country.

  227. 227
    Indigo says:

    Seems Gazza is one of Moat’s mates. From Ed Fraser’s Twitter page this evening, this is surreal –


    Gazza stuff is bizarre. Says he has brought Raoul Moat a dressing gown, a can of lager and a fishing rod. Police won’t let Gazza talk to RM

    Gazza: “I jumped in a taxi with broken ribs and brought some food for him, lager. I know he won’t shoot me.”

    Gazza: “I was going to walk through the moors and shout Moaty it’s me. As far as I’m concerned he is a nice guy.”

    Gazza: “He is a lovely bloke I know that. I think he’s frightened. He’ll put his gun down but is scared in case police shoot him kill him.”

  228. 228
    Indigo says:

    And this from


    Seriously. Get online, Real Radio North East. Gazza thinks he’s only man who can talk #Raoul #Moat down. Holy shit.

    I’m at Real Radio. Gazza is live on the air. He’s in the car, going to see #Moat. He’s blankets, chicken and a fishing rod for him. No lie.

  229. 229
    Indigo says:

    Ed Fraser again,

    Can confirm footballer Paul Gascoigne is on the scene in Rothbury and claiming he knows Raoul Moat and wants to talk to him

  230. 230
    Anonymous says:

    This is a disgrace I am not paying for them to get drunk on the cheap

  231. 231
    'kinell says:

    Were they Nokias? McMental needs a new supply. He’s smashed the last lot.
    Perhaps Moaty could send them over? He won’t be needing them any more.

  232. 232
    Emergency Budgie says:

    I bet they sell a shitload of that Becks Alco Free

  233. 233
    If they're old enough to bleed... says:

    Yeah, it’s all fuckin eurofizz, the fuckin puffs.

    Only tossers like the milibands would drink that piss.

    Though the guiness would do in an emergency.

  234. 234
    BarMaidsays says:

    How do you know? have you ever tried weasel pee?

  235. 235
    onesixthofagill says:

    if you took the alcohol out of the system in the uk the place would grind to a halt..get real anonymous

  236. 236
    gazza 4 gaza's sake says:

    gazzas lost the plot he should head over to hamas country and offer his mediation services there…awyee

  237. 237
    Confused says:

    cynic I thought wingers wanted pitches not pools

  238. 238
    RSPBrownones says:

    much more entertaining if you were shitting from the window sill

  239. 239
    tit says:

    wisdom ?

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    it’s called Tutu’s now

  241. 241
    Engineer says:

    The “most people….are SpAds, researchers and caseworkers who…..are not paid very much”.

    Many of these people are the wannabe career politicians who want to get on the gravy train spending their lives governing the rest of us, without ever finding out what real life is like for the rest of us (no subsidised bars or food, for a start). If the low pay gets some of them out of Westminster and into the real world to earn a living, and learn something about real life, it will do them (and consequently the rest of us) a great deal of good.

    We, the general public, are sick to the back teeth of SpAds and similar hangers-on sucking off the public teat; in other words, the taxes taken out of our hard-earned.

  242. 242

    What do you expect when they can hide 90% of the overheads in other budgets? The staff get hidden on the HoC Services payroll and the water, electricity, cleaning admin and all the other costs get subsumed into the general running expenses. There are no rates to pay and probably no taxes either, and there’s probably some secret codicile in the relevant acts that means the Parliamentaryestate escapes VAT and excise duties – not to mention compliance with all sorts of H&S regs.

    Any publican would also be able to charge low prices like that and still survive without subsidy if he could offload all his similar costs onto the newsagents’ shop next door.

  243. 243

    Nah that’s the recipe for Castle Lager from South African Breweries.

  244. 244
    Sir Horace Hoare-Daly says:

    I dunno, I once knew this girl in Colchester who could …. well let’s just say in my experience tricks like she could perform don’t usually come so cheap.

  245. 245

    […] Speaker says he wants to bring prices in to line with the High Street prices. In another piece of evidence based blogging you won’t see in the newspapers Guido has been […]

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