July 8th, 2010

The Plot Thickens…

Ed Balls has been on the phone to a friendly ear to unequivocally deny he was behind the Burnham briefing Guido mentioned earlier:

There is no truth in these allegations, in these smears about me or my supporters. It is complete nonsense. Andy and I get on very well and no one from my team was involved in these briefings. Andy Burnham and I spoke this morning and we both agreed that any suggestion of him pulling is out rubbish. We both agreed that no one surrounding me has made this allegation. And both of us think there is mischief being made — but it’s not coming from my team or his team. It’s coming from a third party.

But then he would say that wouldn’t he, or is a Miliband being clever?


  1. 1
    gone fuckin mental says:

    a milliband clever ,?your having a laugh lol

  2. 2
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Lets face it they are well trained in the dark arts , they almost deserve each other

  3. 3
    D Milibanana says:

    But my teacher in a-level diversity politics gave me a gold star for my homework, since that day I knew I would be PM and would organize the lives of the whole country for the better. This meant I didn’t need to ever have a real job either which was a bonus.

  4. 4
    The British Public says:

    Not to put to fine a point on it, nobody out there in the real world gives a tuppenny damn about the Labour leadership contest.

  5. 5
    Raoul Moat, Always outnumbered, never outgunned says:

    Whyay like
    Is it any wonder those polis bastards canny catch me when the slut running the fookin operation is Wendolene off that Wallis and Grommets fooken show like?

  6. 6
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , I am Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend .

    On the subject of smears , It appears to me that they are all at it .

  7. 7
    Jim_Watford says:

    “is a Miliband being clever?” love the humour.

  8. 8
    Sir William Waad says:

    If only Burnham’s dad had pulled out.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    There is only a very slight connection to the truth between statements made by politicians & the facts.

  10. 10
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Who would you belive ? Ed Balls (forces of hell , Mcbride etc) or Andy Burnham(staffs hospital), Dmillieband (Tortue) or Emillieband (global warming scam) or Dabbott( sent own kids to private school and therefore a hypocrite) ?

  11. 11
    The Court of Public Opinion says:


  12. 12
    gone fuckin mental says:

    england have been a bit sloppy in the field

  13. 13
    Diane 'Eadbutt says:

    Wake me up when Bollocks says sorry will you someone?

  14. 14
    streamfisher says:

    Get a grip Guido, The Thick Plotten.

  15. 15
    50 Calibre says:

    Right O/T, but today’s Strasbourg ruling to stop the extradition of Abu Hamza to the USA says all you ever needed to know about the United Kingdom’s descent into the nonsensical world of Human Rights where the lawyers make a fortune and the bad guys become untouchable and good men stand by and wring their hands.

    The trouble is that the government doesn’t have the bottle to put him and his family on the next flight to New York, cancel their passports and let the US courts do whatever they want with him. The dripping wet Strasbourg mob go to hell and take every Human Rights lawyer with them.

    Oh if only that Theresa May would do that. I would worship the ground she walked on…

  16. 16
    Yvette (Massive debt accumulated during my time as Chief cunt to the Treasury) Cunt Cooper MP says:

    What is essential for the Labour Party is that it has a leader who is skilled in the art of smearing, unofficial briefings, back stabbing, and is of course a stranger to the truth.
    We urgently need a leader who is comfortable in the company of corrupt and undemocratic trotskyist Union barons.

    The Party requires a leader who must shout from the rooftops that he did not agree in any way with the myriad of disastrous anti English policies, which he chose not to resign over when in office.

    Furvermore the party desperately needs a leader who is wedded to the belief that the public sector is the engine of economic growfes.
    All economists wot disagrees with this idealogy must be dismissed and smeared as dirty Toryists.

  17. 17
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Get out of the eu , save billions and have british law for british people , send hookhand to gitmo for some waterbording and save some money on benifits .

    Everyones a winner !

  18. 18
    Gordon Brown says:

    Who are these two losers? Are they important? Should I care? Does it matter what they say? I don’t really give a shit about either of them…

  19. 19

    This is when the chimps start flinging shit.

  20. 20
    Fuck Labour says:

    “Any suggestion of him pulling is out rubbish”. What, it was suggested he pulled? Didn’t take Andy for a suave lady’s man.

  21. 21
    gone fuckin mental says:

    What is the total iq of the leadership contenders?

  22. 22

    British law for British people – fuck that!

    English law for English people decided by an English parliament.

  23. 23
    Mr Moativator says:

    This Balls looks suspicious to me. Don’t like the look of him. He’s making me feel like the Hulk.

  24. 24
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Thats what i sort of meant , no law imposed by a forign body

  25. 25
    gone fuckin mental says:

    “or is a Miliband being clever?”

    I have heard of Dmilliband and Emilliband but never Amilliband , Has he ever down a days work?

  26. 26
    Andy An Awfully Cross'dresser says:

    Lady’s man, no. Ladyman, yes.

  27. 27
    Andrew Marr says:

    If only I’d pulled out of Alice Miles, that would’ve saved a fuckload of legal costs.

  28. 28
    Rendition, Torture & War Apologist, David Miliband says:

    Would Andy & Ed like to make their way to the airport? They have won a waterboarding holiday. Destination unknown.

  29. 29
    Edward Balls says:

    I am delighted to refute in the strongest terms the smear that I or any of my supporters are briefing to journalists that Andy Burnham is a closet case who wants to go fourth but likely come fifth or that David Milliband is a jaffa with a banana fetish or that his non-entity brothers thyroid problems and religious demeanour over climate change is likely to scare voters or that Diane Abbott has some less than savoury friends in her inner circle.

  30. 30
    50 Calibre says:

    The English don’t want an English Parliament.

    They’d have nobody to blame but themselves and, let’s face it, they’ve got enough going for them on that front. They need the Browns of this world…

  31. 31
    Nick2 says:

    If any of the Labour leadership contenders are engaging in the underhand methods that Guido suggests then they must be mad or deluded.

    Mad because even Labour Party members must be sick to death of the lies, spin & character assassination that has typified the past 13 years, or deluded that the leadership candidates will not ALL be assumed to be as deviously underhand as each other.

  32. 32

    You should have a ‘shit-o-meter’ graphic somewhere on your page Guido.

    One that has the Labour leader contenders and the level of ‘shitness’ they are reaching.

  33. 33
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Thanks Ed. At least one of the candidates is being straight with the public.

  34. 34
    50 Calibre says:

    not a lot

  35. 35
    gone fuckin mental says:

    “Mind the windows Tino”

  36. 36
    Postal Vote says:

    I say it’s the speaker’s wife!

  37. 37
    50 Calibre says:

    I had one of those, but I couldn’t get it repaired…

  38. 38
    Winner gets a vivuzela says:

    But which one is Igor?

  39. 39
    Parp says:

    he has it’s called Martin Day

  40. 40
    one dress size too small says:

    1. Yes we do.
    2. Who?.

  41. 41
    Raoulontherun says:

    Knockin’ one out over that Kay Burley, like. AH come on, I’ve been holed up here all week, man!


  42. 42
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Can we sell Scotland to those Blokes in Dubui ?

  43. 43
    The general public says:

    This “ideas for law changes” thing, how about abolishing the apparent requiriement for MP’s to use the name/phrase “right honorable” in Parliament. Clearly they are not and this is just another example of why…..

  44. 44
    Thatcherite says:

    it’s a deficit of roughly 156 Billion

  45. 45

    The plot thickens.

    Or the thick ones plot.

  46. 46
    The Tree says:

    I just had major hits from Strasbourg,nice to know the MEP’ lot are paying attention.

  47. 47
    The Tree says:


  48. 48
    The Tree says:

    0 out of 6

  49. 49
    Michael Gove says:

    If Raoul Moat wore a stripy jumper and thick glasses he’d be a lot more fun to try and find.

  50. 50
    The TV Licence says:

    Word has it Raoul the police are concerned you have a lot of sympathisers in the UK, and some in Rothsbury are helping you out with a bed for the night and money/food. So as a result the police are now telling porkies to the media that your threatening the public for no reason what so ever. Their also now meeting with the town residents at a community centre to have a word!

  51. 51

    Shhhhhh! Remember Basil Fawlty. Don’t mention the bore.

  52. 52

    What was the first one again?

  53. 53
    The Progressive Coalition says:

    Well at lease we can agree on something Gordon.

  54. 54
    Gordon Brown says:

    Owwwwwww, flying poo poo fights, can I play?

  55. 55
    P. Doff says:

    They’d buy all the bunkers on the golf courses. It’s a piece of cake… selling bucket loads of sand to Arabs!

  56. 56
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Look the burning question thats nt being talked about is , should Steve harmason go to the ashes down under this winter?

  57. 57
    Arlington says:

    N Korea are looking for a place to test a hydrogen bomb.

  58. 58
    Doc Trough. says:

    Woud believe a raincoated sweatsource before that Hunt – & his faithful husband.

  59. 59
    Raoul Moat says:

    Fooking hell man, you c u n t s really arr useless, I’m using the bastard sewerage system to get aboot like. Stinks like a Diane Abboots arm pits, but fook it, I’m free to pop off a few cops before they stick a cap in me arse.


  60. 60
    Lord Thirtystone of Hulk says:

    This is about croquet, right?

  61. 61
    3rd Umpire says:

    Not out !

  62. 62
    Cant say my real name says:

    I just saw this on another site

    “Raoul Moat – The only Ginger who was ever wanted”

  63. 63
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , I am Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend

  64. 64
    Ginger Bastard says:

    Fooking racist!

  65. 65
    David Laws MP says:

    I love you

  66. 66
    Ray Parlour says:

    They didnt call me the Romford Pele for nothing

  67. 67
    David Laws MP says:

    I like Ladyboys best, I find ladymen somewhat confusing.

  68. 68
    Boston Steamer says:

    You called?

  69. 69
    CanniBalls says:

    My god! The Labour Party are so desperate they have resorted to eating one another up. What a feast!

  70. 70
    Nick Clegg says:

    It was all my fault.

  71. 71
    Dagenham Dave says:

    Wheres me fucking giro?

  72. 72
    Northumbria Police says:

    The only reason Raoul Moat is making us look like a bunch of thick useless imcompetents is because we are not getting enough paid overtime. We are forced to spend 99.9% of our time sitting in soft chairs in the station filling in forms. We can only catch criminals on overtime. And because of the stressful nature of our job we should be able to retire on full pension at 35.

  73. 73
    NewsNight Viewer says:

    Well you should, because if they get in power again next time round we’ll have a £5 Trillion debt to pay off with 5 years of them being in office.

  74. 74
    David Minibanana says:

    The Plot Thickens ?? If Balls and McPoison are involved the headline should read
    ‘The Thick ‘uns Plot’.

  75. 75
    Chris Bryant MP says:

    You should have called me first!

  76. 76
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    I’ve confiscated it.

  77. 77
    Gerry from Ireland says:

    Blow em up

  78. 78
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Does it matter?
    Two flies fighting over a turd
    A huge pile of steaming sh ite that nobody has any interest in
    Gordon Brown still likes mens cocks and is on super benefits
    Wacko Jocko the Jockcock jockey
    F8ck the out of labour party

  79. 79
    Sir William Waad says:

    The plot thickens, the pace quickens, the taxpayer sickens.

  80. 80
    Raoulontherun says:

    I’m the new fokkin Robin Hood man, fokkin furk hero an’ that. The police divnt see tae nerr that everbody in the country hates them noo!

  81. 81
    gone fuckin mental says:

    can we have a English wicketkeeper for a change ?

  82. 82
    AC1 says:

    He needs to be shot dead in an escape attempt.

  83. 83

    Gfm, do you actually have a job, or do you sit around all day watching cricket and drinking?

    I’m not being rude, i’m just curious.

  84. 84
    his mum says:

    I didn’t want him

  85. 85
    Nursie says:

    Oh, Gordon, you’ve been smearing again. What a naughty wee laddie you are! Poor Nursie’s got to wipe it all clean again! And it’s no good putting me in that big book Mr McCriven’s helping you to write as you’ll get pimples on your tongue and everybody will know you’re a fibber.

  86. 86
    Tom says:

    First rule of briefing, surely: back it up with a denial you are briefing against anyone, and an expression of unequivocal support for the person you were briefing against.

  87. 87
    deck the Balls with Hollie says:

    Any truth in the rumours that Ballbag and McMental are caught up in this scandal?

  88. 88
    Martin Day says:

    Same old coalition,clueless on the UK economy

    The International Monetary Fund slashed growth forecasts for the UK today despite predicting a faster than expected recovery for the global economy.

    Its latest quarterly World Economic Outlook lowered UK growth estimates to 1.2% for this year and 2.1% in 2011, down from the 1.3% and 2.5% it predicted in April.

    The IMF report prompted attacks from Shadow Chancellor Alistair Darling on the savage clampdown unveiled in June’s emergency Budget, which aims to claw back an annual £113 billion in spending cuts and tax hikes by 2014/15 to tackle the deficit.

    “This downgrade shows the huge risk the new Government is taking by deliberately choosing to take so much money out of the economy. At a time when growth in Europe is moribund it’s increasingly clear that the Government is risking jobs and recovery,” Mr Darling warned.

    The IMF’s latest report puts UK growth next year below the 2.3% predicted by the Office for Budget Responsibility.

    But the body also warns of the danger of cutting too fast. The IMF said: “Growth prospects in advanced economies could suffer if an overly severe or poorly planned fiscal consolidation stifles still-weak domestic demand,” it added

  89. 89
    Elton John says:

    Play up Watford!

  90. 90

    Like an English Charles Bukowski.


  91. 91
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Send him for a country walk around Rothbury……….

    It worked for Dr Kelly !

  92. 92
    Gordons mum says:

    Gordon won’t be able to attend school (or Hop as he calls it) for the rest of the term, our G.P Dr Finlay can’t give him a ‘well’ note, as you should know he was being bullied by the other boys and being called a useless Jock Spastic, he has plenty of colouring books at home, and of course his superman costume, bless!

    Gordons Mum.

  93. 93
    Raoul Moat says:

    I just put a look like me mask on and went and bought a pie

  94. 94
    MI5 says:


    This is all good knock around stuff…

    BUT I am ahead of you on one thing which will please all the fellow co-consipirators…(and you, great resister)…

    Socialsm/marxism was invented in Europe..

    Always applied through giant Ponzi schemes (others will pay or future “growth” will pay)…

    Money does not grow on Socialist trees

    Now, the People throughout Europe realise it..

    Socialism and Marxism Marx, Lenin, Negels or ,the milder version with Rosa Luxembourg etc are TOTALLY DISCREDITED throughout Europe..

    North America, Asia and Australasia whch were never infected by the Mossad disease will drive ahead regardless…

    Europe is now making the choice…

    It is liberalism (in the 17th and 18th sense of the word) or BUST…

    Election after election shows that the People of Eorope have understood this..

    It was Socialism we had to defeat not just Communism and its 120 million of dead…

  95. 95
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Oh do shut up

  96. 96
    Head Lizard says:


  97. 97
    Ed Plonker says:

    I’m pulling out my plonker

  98. 98
    Macavity says:

    It all started in America Martin, you dopey twat.

  99. 99
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    No – bring back Matthew Hoggard, sack that ego-maniac one-trick-pony Pietersen, and keep Collingwood healthy – he’s the best real thinking cricketer of the lot.

  100. 100
    Greggs of Rothbury says:

    I can assure you it was not one of our delicious offerings with authentic home-baked aroma. (opening hours 9am – 6pm)

  101. 101
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Breaking news

    David Cameron to resign after failure of police to caputre Raoul moat , Ed Balls has been asked to form a goverment .

  102. 102
    Liar Byrne says:

    There’s no money left – good luck !

  103. 103
    Fartin Day says:

    I am the missing link.

  104. 104
    The Tree says:

    Sky finally cottoned onto the publics mood re cops waving guns about now reporting old shooting incidents by them

  105. 105
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    But, on reflection, it may be because they really are a bunch of thick useless incompetents – just like their mates in the Met and every other one of the 43 cash-consuming, waste-of-space police forces.

    Bring back George Dixon – now that was a real copper.

  106. 106
    Sweaty Eddy Balls says:

    I couldn’t form a queue, mate !

  107. 107
    Do not feed the mongs says:

    if he can hide out a bit longer he will be able to mingle with the crowds.


  108. 108
    Nick Clegg says:

    Chris Huhne asked his doctor if he had ever laughed at a patient. “in over 20 years i havent” says the the doc “but il do my best to be professional” with that Chris Huhne dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest willy the doc had ever seen. it was no bigger than an AAA battery. Doc bursts out into uncontrollable laughter,wipes away his tears, takes a deep breath and says “Im really sorry it wont happen again” Now what seems to be the problem” at that Chris Huhne replys “well it’s swollen”

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    And bring back Flintoff

  110. 110
    Greggs at Robbedbury says:

    At gunpoint.

  111. 111
    BMW says:

    Leave them alone. Police forces are our best customers.

  112. 112
    Grey Fellow says:

    there’s a tracker (they are coming out the woodwork) on sky who just pointed out a tent peg bag near to Moats camp fire. I want to know how the cops missed it?

  113. 113
    Ed Balls says:


    i didn’t do it or nuffin

    it woz those toree nutters, innit

    yoo dont know nuffin

    anyway, andy fingered gordon behind the bike sheds yesterday and then tried to get harriet to lick his chocolate’d finger afterwards

    me for president of the universe, yay. everyone else who doesn’t want me in charge of the universe can stick their heads up their own arses

  114. 114
    Raoul Moat says:

    Listen man. I only headed to Rothbury to listen to the choral harmonies at Brinkburn Priory. The’re fucking lush man.

  115. 115
    Plod says:

    We were busy filling in forms and adding up our overtime hours.

  116. 116
    Dealer says:

    need a ton of coke and weed for cops party tonight in Rothbury,anyone help,will pay over the odds

  117. 117
    Ian E says:

    ‘Clever’ and ‘Miliband’ do not belong in the same sentence, Mr Fawkes! Unless, of course, there is also a prominently placed ‘not’.

  118. 118
    Elton John says:

    Not that crank on SKY?

    He just built a massive shelter comprising about 15 tree trunks and suggested Moat could do without a tent by carrying it on his back from hidey hole to hidey hole.

    So if anyone spots a bloke looking like the chap on Led Zeppelin IV album cover – its Moat

  119. 119
  120. 120
    Marc Ote-an says:

    Sorry I’m late

  121. 121
    Raoul Moat the Poat says:

    I’ve been writin this during my sojourn, it’s called ‘Lonely Moat who cannot Gloat about the Bloat that is John Prescott’

    here goes…..

    I wandered lonely as a note
    That floats on high o’er vales and boats,
    When all at once I saw a goat,
    A coat, of golden daffodils;
    Beside the lake, beneath the float,
    Fluttering and dancing by the stoat.

    For oft, when on my couch I wrote
    In vacant or in pensive quote,
    They flash upon that inward jolt
    Which is the vote of solitude;
    And then my heart with pleasure dotes,
    And dances with the daffodils.

  122. 122
    tracker woods says:

    he could dig a moat around his tree trunk castle.

  123. 123
    ED NAZI BALLS says:


  124. 124
    PC Bender says:

    With all our efforts to keep this the main story in the media being managed successfully, we can now let the public know we have found a yellow polka dot bikini near to the tent found yesterday. Whilst not Moat’s size, we cannot be certain he’s not in drag.

  125. 125
    Jethro says:

    I wondered how long it would take them to get round to Harry Roberts, poor Hunts been in 50 years now with a 30 rec, this will keep him in for ever.

  126. 126
    Timmy Mallet says:

    That wuz me

  127. 127
    Simon Cowell says:

    Your going through

  128. 128
    Dorian Smith says:

    Same old coalition,clueless on the UK economy

    To be fair, if anyone was merely clueless on the UK economy, they’d still be a million times better than your beloved Gordon Brown (remember him?).

  129. 129
    Lord Thirtystone of Hulk says:

    I recommend Kirkcaldy

  130. 130
    Dorian Smith says:

    I’m hearing rumours that Andy Burnham is from up North, it’s about time he stopped shying away from this fact and started mentioning it as part of his campaign.

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    the idiot police have managed to take someone who on sunday was a murder and make him into a folk hero.

    i live in brixton & we have a lot of shootings, stabbings, gang rapes, gang attacks and so on. the police do fuck all about it, they are too busy in the kebab shop or busting people at the station for not having a ticket. as soon as it is one of their own they go fucking mental, deploying 100s of highly armed police to a village up north and pointing guns at old ladies.

    the guy’s message of “the police fucked me up now i’ll fuck them up” resonates with a lot of people nowadays (g20 police, road traffic facism, photographers as terrorists, hate speech and so on). the police i don’t think thought about this , they thought the people are just well up for g-36 toting robocops with better equipment than the forces in afghan and police snipers to catch a single fucking geordie.

    well, they miscalculated and they made the geezer into a hero. now we’re supposed to believe from their psychological warfare (sorry, PR) department that the guy “poses a threat to the wider public” in a piss poor attempt to deflate the ever growing myth of raul – the – fucking – ballsy – geordie; #fuckthepolice. they’re worried that all the other people they’ve persecuted over the years are going to copycat and are determined to control the narrative. the idiot media just laps it up and punts it out.

    what a fucking farce. tens of millions to turn a murderer into a hero. well in pigs

  132. 132
  133. 133
    Elton John says:

    Just seen a lady in Rothsbury saying what making everyone feel scared is 200 armed police wandering about with automatic weapons.

  134. 134
    cant hunter says:

    How about just sending in some heavies, putting the manacled c*nt on a plane and shipping him out all in a couple of hours before the parasite lawyers and their ilk have a chance to do anything. Then prepare for a legal stand off with very interesting ramifications—with the public/electorate behind you and only the BBC,Grauniad and the Cherie Blairs of this world against. Go on do it. Do it!!

  135. 135
    Prophet Mohammed - Anal Rapist says:

    May as well bring back Graham f*ing Gooch.

  136. 136
    Raoul Moat on tour says:

    Off to T in the Park this weekend, I’m particularly looking forward to the “Rodrigo y Gabriela” set in the King Tut’s Wah Wah Tent on Saturday. It’ll be fookin’ bangin’.

    Anyone got any “e”?

  137. 137
    I've forgotten who I am says:

    I gor no idea.

  138. 138
    Lord Lard of Hull says:

    There is one. ‘The T urd Man’, top right. You can get no more shit than him.

  139. 139
    Unsworth says:

    Does Burnham confirm this story? Has anyone checked?

  140. 140
    Unsworth says:

    @ Elton

    Too fucking right. Look what happened at Stockwell.

    Anyway, what guarantees are there that all of these robocops are totally competent? The more there are the greater the chance of ‘unfortunate errors’ – i.e. an innocent getting blown away, a slight touch of the old collateral damage.

  141. 141
    Maximus says:

    With all those ‘marksmen’ about, what are the odds that they eventually shoot each other?

  142. 142

    O, why does it matter a fcuk who is to become eventually the leader of the “New GramscoFabiaNazi Party”? Who are all these people now crawling out of the woodwork to become the leader, who will “fight to unite the party” and “fight to return Labour to power”? What are they doing this dangerous and subversive stuff for?

    Can’t this dangerous, scary business be stopped before it does us any more damage? Can’t the Police just impound all their computers, forcibly take all their children “into care” and sell them to lawyers and bureaucrats, and put the campaigning-bastards on the DNA database which they created, or something?

  143. 143
    cant hunter says:

    Whats happened to Ms Miles recently-hasn’t been in the Times for months.

  144. 144
    Gordno Brown MP (part time) says:

    You can have my moral compass. That bigot woman Sue gave me that and a fat lot of good it was. Rochdale became my Stalingrad.

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