July 8th, 2010

Burnham Blames Balls for Briefing

Andy Burnham reportedly “nearly fell out of his chair” when he read in the papers that he was considering pulling out of the Labour leadership race to avoid the embarrassment of coming last. Guido “nearly fell out of his chair” last month when he read Ed Balls describe the political tactics he is an expert in as “pretty unedifying”. He went on to say “there will be no off-the-record briefings from anybody involved with me.” Funny then that this morning fingers are being pointed at Team Balls as the source of the what Burnham describes as “a malicious briefing”. Ed’s “I’ve changed” act was never going to last long. Here comes the mudslinging…

UPDATE : Latest Labour leadership odds from Political Smarkets:

David Miliband 63.6%
Ed Miliband 23.8%
Ed Balls 8%
Andy Burnham 2.1%
Diane Abbott 2%

Balls is fighting the most aggressive, high visibility campaign…


77 Comments

  1. 1
    G. Brown, Ex PM, MP (ret'd) says:

    That’s my boy, Ed!

    Like

    • 16
      Sweaty Eddy Balls says:

      Ret’d ?? Is that short for ‘retired’ or ‘retarded’ ??

      Like

      • 50
        Infanta of Castile says:

        I hope it is ‘returned’ as in ‘returned to sender’ rather than in ‘returned to the House of Commons’

        Like

    • 29
      McBridle says:

      We taught him well

      Like

      • 66

        Ed Balls only on 8%.
        Time to get serious.

        Ed, Derek and Kevin have made there way to the now deserted, overgrown bunker, scene of Brown’s final surrender in May.
        They descend the dusty and rubble strew steps and enter the old operations room.
        Overturned, broken chairs, smashed flat screens. A Nokia forcefully embedded in the wall beside a cracked picture of Tony Blair, hanging upside down.

        The three men stand before a battered filing cabinet. Someone has scrawled “you all fukis” on it, in what could have been red crayon…or blood.

        “Are you sure you want to do this,Ed?” Maquire asks?
        “Do it! Its the only way” commands Balls.

        Draper and Maguire remove the special filing cabinet keys from around their necks and insert them into the twin locks on the top drawer. “On my mark, three, two, one..activate”
        The missile keys are turned and the drawer slides open, beeping electronically.

        Ed Balls reaches in and removes a folder. Written in Gothic New Labour script are the words..

        Top secret.
        Authorised access only.

        This file contains sensitive and possibly false information on party activists and members finances, sexuality and character.

        For use only against party members…

        RED RAG II.

        Like

    • 48
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Pipsqueak ! (before microphone is cut off). Odious garbage Labour MP.

      Thanks to Channel 4 for airing this clip during their live news….

      Like

      • 76
        Yvette's Sweaty Scrotal Sac says:

        Bollocks should apologise first for the false unfunded election promises to ‘modernise’ UK schools before Gove has to apologise. It’s called putting it into perspective.

        Like

  2. 2
    Cammy says:

    Never change Balls

    Like

  3. 3
    A concerned parishioner says:

    Unedifying and uninteresting.

    Hopefully the new leader will have many, many years in opposition

    Like

  4. 4

    Mudslinging!! – Pah!!

    It will be much more fun than that, it will be like chimps flinging shit at each other in the zoo, possibly uncontrolled wanking as well.

    Like

  5. 5
    Team Ed Balls says:

    Why not attack that serial incompetant,Michael Gove.

    Oh,I ‘m sorry,he’s an untouchable Tory

    Like

    • 34
      thatguy says:

      Throw stones, live in glass house, check spelling

      Like

    • 36
      Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

      Here: Michael Gove is utterly incompetent and totally out of his depth. Just like the vacuous tosser in charge of the Conservative Party, single-handedly funding India’s space programme whilst cutting services in the UK. Barely able to win the last election, they appear Hell-bent on losing the next one.

      Happy now?

      Like

    • 37
      Anon says:

      Excuse me while I kick away that pathetic strawman.

      Hey Ed! You’re an ogre! Go back to the swamp and play with your friend Shrek.

      Like

    • 54
      Maximus says:

      I would make ensure those civil servants giving me erroneous list of schools never worked again. Decimation concentrates the mind.

      Like

    • 55
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Like

    • 56
      Up sh1t creek says:

      In the interest of balance, here’s Ed Balls being Ed Balls-up…..

      Like

  6. 6
    geoff wode says:

    Ed Balls milky milky

    If you want a dog to stop eating its own shit feed it bananas

    Like

  7. 7
    Team Raoul Moat says:

    We are happy to announce that Ed Balls has just hired Raoul Moat to help deal with difficult comrades in the leadership run.

    Like

  8. 8
    Latest Load of Bollocks says:

    Like

    • 17

      There goes my summer of piling for new school buildings.

      Like

    • 60
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Sounds like they did us a favour in not buying a proper microphone for the camera.

      Why doesn’t Ed Balls tell us exactly where, after the 13 year free-for-all borrowing and spending by New Labour on the bottomless pit that is the public sector, money is to be found for all these schemes, now that the UK is broke because of Labour’s spending?

      Like

  9. 9
    Hair Expert says:

    Ed is losing his thatched roof

    Like

  10. 10
    Out Sider Drippy says:

    o/t
    Forget about Balls and his little mates. Read this and then start asking questions!!

    http://www.financialpost.com/news/features/Avertible+catastrophe/3203808/story.html

    Like

    • 15
      Wonka says:

      I take it that darling Dave asked of Mr Obama why he and his administration had rejected all offers of assistance from oils spill experts? Obviously afraid of infiltration and communist spies!!

      Like

    • 18
      Mr Plum says:

      Perhaps the dutch could help with our football team

      Like

      • 24
        Chris Hoon says:

        England don’t have a football ‘team’. We have an array of vastly overpaid prima donnas who are totally devoid of passion, stamina and national pride.

        They couldn’t wait to get out of SA to go clubbing and shagging.

        Like

      • 25
        Fabio's Bottle of Hair Dye says:

        Scusi? Ah a-dooa Eeeenglish foobol teem.

        Like

      • 27
        ron vibentrop says:

        Easy! Obama’s buddy and energy advisor is that slippery shit George Sorros. Obama shuts down all deep off shore drilling so that the rigs up anchor and head off to the Gulf of Mexico where most of the concessions are owned by….Mr Sorros. That should offset the huge bungs he gave towards the election campaign.

        Halve the value of BP and suddenly there is a lot of interest not only from US oil companies, but Obama’s fellow Muslims are up for a takeover bid as well.

        Throw in the fact that Obama’s step grand father was a Mau Mau terrorist and Obama can finally pay back the British for his treatment.

        The demand for 22 billion from this elevated pimp is wholly illegal and shareholders should demand that no payments are made until a court settlement is reached. Let’s not forget that the Valdez spill to say nothing of Bhopal have still not been finally settled.

        Like

        • 44
          The Man Who Came In From The All Women Shortlist says:

          Shhhh I mentioned “Bhopal” once but I think I got away with it !

          Like

        • 46
          Anonymous says:

          Is it the case that BP is more than 50% American owned? In which case Obama is playing the smear game when he attributes sole blame to the Brits as owners of the Company.

          Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I think it’s 39% American and 40% owned by the evil un-American imperialist they-tortured-my-grand-pop limey no-good British.

            Like

          • Groucho says:

            Its about 40:40 UK/US ownership. Also BP employs about 10,000 in the UK and about 20,000 in the US

            Like

      • 38
        P. Doff says:

        Yup… the English team looked and moved as if they were already wearing wooden clogs!

        Like

  11. 11
    talamunji says:

    Is Brown still in Kirk of Caldie instead of putting his constituents’ points of
    view to the House of Commons – which he\was elected to do ?

    Like

    • 26
      Gordon Brown says:

      I’m too busy with the job applications.

      Like

      • 49
        Tessa Tickles says:

        If the McDonalds in Mitchelston Industrial Estate, Kirkcaldy, give you an interview, try not to chew your fingernails or eat your snot.

        Remember to smile (or perhaps not), be enthusiastic about working shifts and try to accentuate your positive points; in your last job, you only sold half the nation’s gold for a pittance, not all of it. If they mention the McDonald’s stakeholder pension scheme, don’t say “like all the ones I ruined?” and burst out laughing, just keep quiet.

        Like

  12. 12
    Mike Thomas says:

    Good ol’ Eddie B….

    Blinky’s only jealous of Burnham’s eyelashes… maybe it’s May-Ball-ine….

    Like

  13. 13

    What party do they represent again? I’ve forgotten. Something to do with invading countries, running up large debts and blaming everyone else, isn’t it?

    Like

    • 53
      Tessa Tickles says:

      More accurately, illegally invading other countries and murdering tens of thousands of working class men, women and children, running up record debts by blowing workers’ wages on feckless parasites and blaming America/Thatcher/the incoming government for the resulting mess.

      Like

  14. 14

    Burnham is only 0.1% ahead of Abbott, fucking hell, just how shit is he?

    Like

  15. 19
    Chris Huhne says:

    The police actually caught Raoul Moat 2 days ago, but the overtime is always welcome

    Like

  16. 20
    Raoul Moat: Always outnumbered, never outgunned says:

    Pair of fooking socialist poofters, its poofters like these two poofter bastards wot av driven me to embrace violence like

    Arm gonna oopen up the fooking leadership race with me fooking shotgun like

    Like

  17. 21
    Sir William Waad says:

    This is how the process of politics selects the worst people for power.

    Like

  18. 23
    Irene says:

    What I want to know is – if MilibandD or E win the contest would Balls be shadow Chancellor or would he stay in Schools – how does it work?

    Like

  19. 28
    Simon Harley says:

    “Balls is fighting the most aggressive, high visibility campaign…”

    And it’s paying off! Oh, wait …

    Like

  20. 30
    Yvette, (immense debt racked up on my watch as Chief cunt to the Treasury) Cunt Cooper MP says:

    Listen it’s the right thing to do to vote for me husband.

    At no time did he support the idiot Gordon’s reckless and disgraceful attempts to procure Labour’s vote share with borrowed money.

    Ed always supported the notion of fiscal prudence, especially after his umiliation at the hands of Ms Scott on the Daily Politics.

    Ed will be a unifying figure for the nation, and will definately not attempt to spend vast sums of borrowed money in our party’s marginal constituencies.

    It’s the right thing to do, much like invading Iraq, and sending troops to patrol Northern Helmand, with snatch land rovers, and three elderly elicopters.

    It was the right thing to do to leave the construction of the swimming pool at edley Court to the charity ‘Elp for Eroes’ there was nay votes in this kind of reckless spending (in Surrey).

    Like

  21. 31
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    This is terrific news – the infighting will continue long after loser Milliband leads the losers. Double loser Balls will just keep up the sterling work of ensuring his loser party won’t see office again for at least a decade.

    Keep listening to McBride Ed – you’re both doing a great job.

    Like

  22. 32

    The leadership race should be judged on smugness.

    http://fxbites.blogspot.com/2010/07/swat-swatted.html

    Like

  23. 33
    Postal Vote says:

    Balls will get the backing of Unite.

    Whelan will get Balls a safer constituency.

    The wife of the speaker will become an MP.

    Conserv and libdems would do well to clean up the postal voting procedures. With better procedures in place, Balls would not have made it into parliament again ….

    PS What’s the score on Bristol east and the twitter saga in which quite a few labour hot shots including Whelan were involved?

    Like

  24. 35
    thick as thieves says:

    Labour has been bolstered by an unprecedented surge of new members who have signed up mainly to oppose the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition, Guido Fawkes has claimed.

    Some 21,000 people had joined the party since the general election as part of what the acting Labour leader hailed as an “emerging political movement” on the left.

    Almost a third of the new members were Lib Dem voters dismayed by that party’s partnership in power with the Tories, he said

    Like

    • 42
      Anonymous says:

      So your opponents simply change the colours of their jerseys, so what nothing has changed !!!

      Like

    • 57
      Tessa Tickles says:

      an “emerging political movement” on the left

      What? 13 years after Labour came to power, and after their defeat and loss of nearly 100 MPs, there’s finally an “emerging political movement on the left”?

      There’s nothing like striking while the iron’s still hot, is there?

      Like

    • 61
      Grow up says:

      piss and wind

      Like

  25. 40
    Team Ed Balls says:

    Michael Gove is toast

    But most worryingly for Mr Gove trouble is brewing on the Tory backbenches – with one Conservative MP already threatening to descend on Downing Street with pupils and parents from schools affected in his constituency.

    And this is why this row matters, not just for Mr Gove but also for the Government, because for the first time it appears the Coalition may have over-reached themselves on their cuts agenda.

    Put simply, people might be won round to curbing benefits or public sector pay and pensions – but it’s hard to see any section of the electorate who are going to back scrapping new schools. Schools may just be a cut too far.

    Like

    • 58
      Parrot Owner says:

      Repeating this morning’s Radio 4 bulletin. Who’s a clever boy then?

      Like

    • 62
      Maximus says:

      You really should know better than allowing the Bumming Bleating Cokeheads to form your views for you.

      Like

    • 72
      cant hunter says:

      i hate the self righteousness and sense of entitlement of many schoolteachers. They’ve had money poured on them and their schools for a decade or so ( and I bet the education is still rank) and they are still moaning. Can’t they just tighten their belts for a few years ?

      Like

  26. 41
    The Man Who Came In From The All Women Shortlist says:

    I think we should all vote for Mr Balls, after all he has a bottomless pit of money so money is no object.

    Yvette aged 6

    Like

  27. 45
    Akvavitix says:

    When the hell is this leadership crapulence going to be over? It’s the only thing raising the profile of the Labour Party in the press and keeping them from oblivion. Sooner it’s over the sooner we can kiss the shitty lot of them good bye and good riddance.

    Like

    • 47
      The Man Who Came In From The All Women Shortlist says:

      Dont Worry once the World Cup is over it will gain more prominence !

      Like

  28. 52
    harrycanab says:

    How “New Labour” to be favouring the son of an illegal immigrant Marxist professor.

    Hard on the heels of Jack Straw (dad a “conchie” and traitor to the Jewish people), Brown (obviously mad), Jacquie Smith (a porn watching crook and liar), Mandleson (need I say…), Alan Johnson (damaged goods – hates traditional families), Keith Vaz (slimeball) …….etc etc.

    Is it any surprise that Labour MP’s were overwhelmingly represented in the expenses fiddling? Is it any surprise that it is Labour activists who carry out most postal voting fraud?

    When in a hole stop digging.

    If Labour started to promote regular, decent, Englishmen rather than immigrants, Celts or gays they may start to have some relevance.

    It is the party of the disaffected, dishonest, disloyal and disgraceful.

    However, it’s naive of me, as Labour doesn’t have regular people in it. They are either Anti-British, anti-English, Marxist, damaged, deranged or power mad/crooked.

    How many middle England, family men, patriots do you know who are activists for Labour?

    The sooner that the British, especially English, people figure that out the better.

    Like

  29. 64
    Anonymous says:

    This whole LieBour Leader election is a total bore. None of the candidates are any good & will be easy meat for Cameron at PMQ’s. Acting leader Harperson is lost without her pre-written questions & responses;note how she spends practically the whole time with her head down & not looking at Cameron.
    Does anyone seriously believe any of the candidates have displayed real ability or leadership qualities?
    Thankfully,we can look forward to many years of LieBour in opposition.

    Like

  30. 71
    Michael Gove says:

    Raoul Moat has just taken extra steps to help hold the police off:

    R1, R2, L1, R2. Left, down, right, up, left, down, right, up.

    Like

  31. 73
    Adolf Hitler says:

    I always liked Ed Balls. An honest, principled man with a good haircut.

    Like

  32. 75
    RavingMad says:

    Balls is a shit

    Burnham is just an Everton fan

    Like

  33. 77
    lipstick says:

    Bercow go your not up to the job he stands a box, needs blown off..he’s another me me me Brown arse licker…..

    Like


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Following the revelations about Brooks Newmark’s paisley pyjamas, Hugo Rifkind wonders in this week’s Speccie what other politicians wear in bed:

“Chuka Umunna will sleep in Calvin Klein briefs, all the better to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror on his ceiling.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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