July 1st, 2010

The Floor’s the Limit

There has been a fair amount of consternation today about a dubiously sourced piece in the Standard about MPs allegedly sleeping in their offices. Despite the practice being banned, we are expected to believe that MPs are secretly stashing camp-beds in cupboards during the day. While yes those MPs who have less than an hour’s commute rightly can’t claim for overnight costs, if they really can’t face the journey home, what is to stop them dipping into their already well lined pockets on those rare Tuesdays when the House sits late?

Just a moment or two of internet based research finds affordable accommodation within walking distance of Parliament. Why not stay at the Piccadilly Backpackers Hostel - “London’s most central, award-winning and trendiest value hostel”? The merits of it far outweigh sleeping on the floor of your office:

  • FREE showers - bonus!
  • Breakfast Available - don’t forget to get a receipt!
  • 24hr Security – so no complaining that a MP couldn’t possibly stay there!
  • 24hr Internet Cafe – you can even catch up on emails over breakfast!
  • And best of all this is all for the bargian price of £12 per night!


    1. 1
      astateofdenmark says:

      The Chester Hotel on Longmoore Street looks alright and 47 quid for a single.


      Taxi won’t be much cheaper than that and you get a lie in.


    2. 2

      Not even remotely funny Fawkes.
      No self respecting Labour or Tory MP would set foot in such a place.

      Lib Dems however…


      • 20
        Tessa Tickles says:

        A self-respecting LimpDim? Are you taking the piss?


      • 247
        StevenL says:

        Come off it, have you ever stayed in one of these places? Fit, drunk, 20-something Aussie, Kiwi and Yank totty everywhere!

        As for camp beds, just get a top of the range fishermans bed chair on expenses, 10x better than most beds :)


    3. 4
      Jobesdone says:

      Sorted,know were to go next time I’m in the shithole.


    4. 5
      Sir Keith Joseph's Preserved pulsing head says:

      When all this expenses broo -ha-ha broke I never understood why no one thought of constructing a simple hostel for MPs where costs could be controilled and budgeted

      In an ideal world when portcullis house was planned it could have been integrated

      oooo here’s a thought …..!!!!!!!!!!

      the Guards’ barracks just opposite Buckingham palace…..
      I would bet that the army has some spare places

      Might do some of the MPs’ good to meet in the showers some of the people they send to do their dirty work……


      • 7
        MP Rooms says:



        • 10
          Harriet Harperson says:



          • 23
            Tessa Tickles says:

            One of those small steel boxes in which Saddam Hussain was supposed to keep his political prisoners but which, once the illegal invasion was complete, turned out not to actually exist?

            Except we’d make them exist, and put MPs in them. For many, many hours, on very hot days.


      • 134
        Infanta of Castile says:

        There must be some spare space in the MOD building which could be converted


      • 238
        davemcwish says:

        We’re doing it now – it’s called “Athletes Village”.

        And it’s on the Jubilee Line so no taxi fares.


    5. 6
      • 232
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Its better than that “lose five pounds of belly fat” advert he ran the other day.


    6. 8
      Martin Day says:

      Follow the status of Government web sites via @HMGwebstatus


    7. 11
      M Oaten says:



    8. 13
      Caroline Norks gives me a chubby says:

      I have a special message for all MPs who are complaining:


    9. 14
      Honest View says:

      If there’s 24 hour security, quite a few MPs would not get in.


      • 76
        Engineer says:

        The 24-hour security was an attempt to KEEP them in. Sadly, it all too often fails.


    10. 15
      Anonymous says:

      Surely they could get a sofa bed in the office.

      That way if they “have” to stay in the office overnight its comfy.


    11. 16
      Sir Keith Joseph's Preserved pulsing head says:

      Or when the hippy peacenik type have been chucked off the green

      put some caravans on there

      If the van’s a rockin’ don’t the hon mem come knockin’

      To be honest I was being serious about the army barracks idea…..


    12. 17
      Diane Flabby Butt says:

      You should pay for my taxi fares home from Parliament all the way to Hackney.


    13. 18
      Sir William Waad says:

      The obvious use for the Olympic Village after the jocks have moved out is for the Jocks and other out-of-town MPs to move in. Keep them all in one place and give them free accommodation so as to eliminate peculation.


    14. 19
      Dumb-Assed Question says:

      “I don’t do political interviews…”

      So, how come we keep seeing you being interviewed on the telly, Guido?


      • 44
        Jonbamboro says:

        Duh!!!! “being” interviewed is not the the same as doing political interviews for the blog!!!


        • 100
          I Throw Down The Gauntlet to Guido says:

          So, David ‘Broken Britain’ Cameron broke down when interviewed by a junior reporter from Sky.
          Please get hold of that footage Guido and post it here.
          If you fail to do that we will know two things –
          1) You have not got any real weight apart from your belly
          2) You have no nuts
          Are you all belly and no nuts, Guido?


    15. 24
      Nick Clegg says:

      Breaking news just in for all world of Warcraft fans.

      If you quickly turn off your computer and go outside you will see girls. These people have vaginas that are between their legs and will be visible in 3d.

      So go on. Treat yourself. Fucking gimps.


    16. 25
      Ben Bradshaw says:

      Hi concrete pump. Splooge for me, baby.


    17. 26

      I sleep on a hammock. It’s cool and trendy to sleep on a hammock… almost as cool as owning a teepee. My hammock even has a name: Mandy


    18. 28
      Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

      But it doesn’t pick up Dinin Abbott is a Hunting Hunt.


    19. 31
      Sorted says:


    20. 33
      NeverRed says:

      Brown was deluded, incompetent, a liar, is deluded, a coward and a total twat.
      Campbell was deluded, incompetent, a liar, is deluded, a coward, a liar and a total twat.
      Mendelson was deluded, incompetent, a thief, a liar, is deluded, a liar and a total twat.
      Blears was a liar, a thief, is a liar, a thief.
      Smith was a liar, a thief, is a liar, a thief.

      The whole rotten Labour party are liars, thieves and twats.


      • 37
        Tessa Tickles says:

        This is true, and this is why Labour will lose the next election. Labour’s current management have responsibility for Labour’s defeat and if they valued their Party and – Heaven forbid – their country, they would all resign and let a completely new management team take their place.

        But they won’t. So Labour will go into the next election, some five years from now, with the same failed shadow cabinet bleating on about the same failed policies, and lose.


      • 39
        Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

        No. Brown was a Huntingly deluded, lying, incompetent, cowardly, twatty Hunt.


      • 59
        D Pict says:

        Campbell was deluded, incompetent, a liar, is deluded, a coward, a liar and a total twat. And English.
        Mendelson was deluded, incompetent, a thief, a liar, is deluded, a liar and a total twat. And English.
        Blears was a liar, a thief, is a liar, a thief. And English.
        Smith was a liar, a thief, is a liar, a thief. And despite having an Irish or Scottish name is English.


        • 61
          Time to sort out the proper English from the riff raff says:

          We’ll shoot them and all


          • 106
            Jus Sayin says:

            Yes, they were all deluded, incompetent liars and cowards.
            And yet the Tories still couldn’t win a majority!


            • Mr Ned says:

              Due to a combination of the Electoral boundaries giving labour a built-in 10% lead in the polls and labour dragging almost half of the country into dependency on the public purse.


            • Jus Sayin says:

              When you are explaining, you are losing, Mr Ned.


            • Mr Ned says:

              Well we shall wait and see the squeeling, bitching and crying from labour and the BBC when the boundaries have the labour bias removed then shall we???

              The BBC and Labour HATE real fairness and equality.


        • 245
          I'm not ethnically English either says:

          Campbell and Mandelson don’t appear to be terribly English names. Like Cameron…


      • 120
        Mr X (practising for tomorrow) says:

        Brown was deluded, incompetent, a liar, is deluded, a coward and a total twat.

        and paranoid control freak – don’t forget the paranoid control freak


    21. 34
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I’m not prejudiced. I hate everyone with a c@ravan.


    22. 36
      Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

      Margaret Moran has found a new job.


    23. 40
      I'm Evil Al Campbell and I get away with murder says:

      Cripes! Hope no-one reads this: http://tinyurl.com/33ftgdt


      • 55
        Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

        What’s the bet that before the year is out, Campbell will flee to a country that doesn’t have an extradition agreement with the UK? B Liar is never here anyway, so he’s got nothing worry to about. I’m sure one of the many oil rich arab countries paying him millions of pounds will welcome him and Slotgob. What a bunch of c­u­nting c­u­nts.


    24. 47
      Blanco says:

      Them fucking Yanks are after Tate & Lyle now.


    25. 49
      Not The BBC says:

      well the yanks finally caught up with the story published here yesterday.



    26. 51
      Chris Huhne says:

      The missus just called me a chicken.

      So I shat on the floor and started following her around for bread crumbs.


      • 71
        Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

        A penny’s worth of free advice, my old china. If you’re going to peruse Sickipedia multiple times a day for jokes to post here, as you have done in the last week, at least choose the funny ones. Ta.


    27. 58
      IanVisits says:

      I am rather curious as to why sleeping in the office is banned – and what caused the ban to be applied.


      • 77
        Hartley Pond says:

        I try to sleep in mine everyday between 9 – 5.


      • 102
        concrete pump says:

        It wasn’t the sleeping that was the problem, it was the furious masturbation that went before it.

        Many MP’s liked a kip after their long lunches, to help them get off to sleep for an hour they would have a sneaky wank. Unfortunately for some, their sleep was too deep.

        The result was embarrassing. A spad would knock on the MP’s door to remind them of an appointment, the MP, deep in sleep, would not hear the knock, so the spad just wandered in to be confronted with a sleeping and (usually) fat and ugly man with his troos around his ankles and his hand on his flaccid, spunk covered cock.

        Spads don’t like walking in on their bosses to see that sort of thing, it tends to engrave on their memory, so as a result of complaints from spads, sleeping in the office is now banned.

        It’s true, honest.


    28. 60
      He has got them by the balls says:

      lol good one Guido


    29. 65
      'No timetable' on British Troops in Afghanistan says:

      Foreign Secretary William Hague said Thursday his government has not set a timetable for withdrawing British troops from Afghanistan.


    30. 66
      HenryV says:

      Instead turning over the Olympic village to the great unwashed it should be used to accommodate MPs from outside London. Build a wall around it like I see built around prisons. And then build accommodation for an infantry battalion (withdrawn from Germany) to guard the beggars. No expenses problem. Everybody nice and safe. Simple.


    31. 68
      Hostel Dosser says:

      Some of those hostels have glory holes drilled in the toilet partitions. Stick your cock through and get an anonymous suck. You take your chances on whether the sucker is a male or female though. Or even if they have any teeth. Leave a couple of quid in the hat on the way out.


    32. 69
      Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

      Andy Burnham will get the Brillo treatment tonight on This Week. Maybe he’s saving the best for last: ripping Blinky to shreds.


      • 88
        Gny Sgt Hartman says:

        Brillo is definitely born again hard. He rips off their heads and shits down their necks. He can join my beloved marine corps, and shit me some tiffany cufflinks.


    33. 72
      Albie Here says:

      Where did you get the idea Guido that these Mp’s believe that they are doing things for the benefit of the public and the idiots who voted them in,they do it for the benefit of themselves,not public service but self service.


    34. 78
      nell says:

      I see nothing wrong with mp’s sleeping on the floor of their offices.

      I read somewhere that years ago, before mp’s got allowances or even a decent salary, and did the job out of a sense of public service, it was common practice for them to work into the night, sleep on their office floor and be up working again early the next morning.

      Whatever happened to those sort of people doing an mp’s job???


      • 87
        Anonymous says:

        They became MEP’s. The “pickings” are richer.


      • 110
        Engineer says:

        The House did used to keep odd hours, though. If they didn’t start till 2pm and business went on till 4am, kipping in the office made sense. At least they keep more congenial hours, now.

        The problems start when they end up sleeping in each others’ offices.


    35. 80
      Liam Fox says:

      I need a war


      • 107
        Liam Fox's CIA Handler says:

        You are a good and loyal stooge, Liam.
        Now remember, you are going to keep wasting the lives of your British soldiers until the very last possible minute so we Americans can get our troops out and leave your country to look like the ones who have been defeated.
        Got it?


    36. 81
      Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

      Could this happen in the UK ?

      Jobless Claims Rise For 2nd Time In 3 Weeks – Money News Story … http://bit.ly/bEfajG


      • 221
        EveryoneWillSoonBeUnemployed says:

        What do you mean could?


      • 229
        Mr Ned says:

        Martin, an economy that labour spent 13 years destroying cannot be mended inside a few weeks you twat!

        Any double-dip and increase in unemployment is entirely caused by labours economic clusterfuck of the last decade!


    37. 85

      Is it ok if they’re shagging a mistress or summink and not actually “sleeping” there?


    38. 89
      Anonymous says:

      Tomorrow is anonymous day.Every post must be posted by anonymous.


      • 114
        Mr X says:

        That would be so we become anony . . anoy . . annooonn . . . . ernony . . . not known then?


    39. 90
      Night Security says:

      Nice one Guido and to think of all the tips I give you.I was on a nice earner off them lot.


      • 103
        Night Security Supervisor. says:

        What while dossing down in your locker room between postings?

        Got you………….. !

        Now I can put a few Zzzzzz’s in myself.


    40. 91
      Sarah Beard says:

      I’m in Kent stroking my special friend’s lovely rug.


      • 95
        nell says:

        More important where is gordon.

        Still no fair day’s work for the more than fair day’s pay he’s getting every day!!


        • 99
          Gordon Brown, happily married man and father to that Macauley woman's kids says:

          I’m in Killkiddies writing my book, I Saved The World: The Downing Street Years.


          • 112
            Prudence, speaking from her doss says:

            That scheming lying fucker threw me out on the streets he did!

            Well, I’ve had more normal shags than he has that’s for sure!

            All mouth, – him!


          • 179
            nell says:

            I remain hopeful that a member of the no.10 staff are going to write the definitive book on ‘Gordon’s Downing Street years – What it was really like to work for the aggressive, unappreciative, abusive gordonbrown!


    41. 92
      I Know What I Like says:

      There’s always been Ethel. Jacob get up, you gotta tidy your room now. And then Mr Lewis. Well isn’t it time that he was out on his own?


    42. 93
      The Dead says:

      102 nato troops killed in the Stan in June,triple May


      • 98
        The Dead says:

        The US has been fighting this was for 30 years.Give it up and get out.


        • 101
          The Chinese are defined as a single race says:

          If America fails and slides down the pole as a ‘former’ super power then it will prove multi culturism doesn’t work.

          Some of the commies and left wingers and jihadis and other motley crue should think long and hard about that before they get what they wish for because it spells the ultimate fate that awaits their ideologies and religions.


          • 108
            Midas says:






              AZ MIDASS ORE




              ON THE BANQKS O\/ DAE O HAI YO












              IN BLHAQKANBLOOO

              *JAZZME QKHONNyKHON





      • 115
        nell says:

        The political tide that will bring them home is turning but it’s damned slow!!

        omaha wants his troops home before he has to stand for re-election in 2012(?)

        cameron has said he wants our troops home during the term of this government
        ( that expires – if it goes the full length in 2015).

        How many are we going to lose between now and then??

        merkel , who has kept 5500 german troops in Afghanistan, is becoming a social pariah in germany in much the same way that gordon did here. She’s likely to be soon out of office.

        merkel’s successor will be wanting to win over public opinion and will no doubt promise that after more than 100 german deaths in Afghanistan ( actual figure is in doubt as merkel’s govt has been very secretive about who they are, how many and where and how the deaths happened causing much public anger) the new german chancellor will be anxious to promise that germans troop will be withdrawn sooner rather later.

        Other EU leaders with troops in Afghanistan are in the same hole. Too many troops dying, public support draining away.

        I bet they all love bliar to bits since he was the one who persuaded them to put their troops into this mess in the first place!!

        And since bliar started it I wonder how long it is since he bothered to visit the place and see how his policies are ‘improving ‘ things for the locals!!!???


        • 165
          Hague says no date for withdrawall says:

          you mean Cameron is damned slow of course
          and he’s next to be the social pariah for this pointless war

          TROOPS OUT NOW!


          • 184
            nell says:

            bliar and brown buried us into a deep slough when they put our lads into the Iraq and Afghan Wars.

            They dug deep deliberately , especially gutlessgordon and aintbustingaut when they finally came to believe they would lose that 2010 election. You don’t get more cynical and uncaring than bob and gordon!!!!

            Digging us out of the mess they’ve made is going to take time

            gordon and bob did it to feed their egoes. In bliar’s case it has given him a post-pm job earning £millions that he wants us to think is incidental and was not intentional when he took his ‘war’ decisions which we now know were based upon lies!!

            Dr David Kelly’s demise (more likely murder) after he proved, beyond doubt, that alastairc’s and bliar’s claim that wmd did not exist, is still to be properly investigated!!!

            The Big Question is Who Was Responsible???!!!


            • Every dead troop is now on Dave. He could pull them out but won't says:

              The Big Question is WHY ARE WE STILL THERE YOU STUPID TWAT???!!!

              Take some fucking responsiblity for your nauseating hypocritical cheerlaeding of Cameron who supports the Afghan quagmire every bit as much as Brown and Blair did.

              And Dave also supported the Iraq catastrophe.
              Because he’s as stupid as you are.


            • nell says:


              You have to study war and international agreements – other national deployments – to understand how bliar wove the fabric of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars ( and brown compounded those agreements with other countries ie Italy, Germany, France Canada, America and on and on……….) to bind us into the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars and to keep us there after labour lost power!!!

              The last labour govt made sure that they had sealed international agreements with america and europe that ensured that if the next govt , which they expected to be tory, walked away from labour’s insupportable Iraq and Afghanistan Wars now we would be branded as cowards by the rest of the world.

              cameron has undoubtedly been handed a poison chalice with gordon’s assurances that our troops will be in Afghanistai indefinitely , even whilst gordon refused to kit them out and keep them safe!!!


            • nell the hypocrite says:

              God Bless all the dead troops I’m cheering to their graves with Dave!!



            • Dave can't do anything !! He's helpless!! He's only the Prime Minister says:

              Weasel lies from a warmongering apoligist drone

              He’s the Prime minister dummy he can do what he wants

              Other countries have pulled out and the sky didn’t fall in

              Face the facts dearie, he’s a warmonger who thinks we should be in this quagmire for at least another 5 years

              Even Dave isn’t as pathetic as you and has never said he can’t pull the troops because Brown or Blair have somehoe forced him too keep them in

              The troops are there right now because Dave supports the quagmire

              You should be ashamed of your toecurling lickspittle crawling and excuses for your and Dave’s warmongering


            • Mr Ned says:

              Much as I could not stand the socialist Spanish government, the first thing they did on winning power in the mid-1990s was to remove their troops from Iraq.

              It IS possible for a PM to change military priorities and withdraw from military conflicts.

              Cameron shows no sign of doing so.


    43. 96
      Jonty Pyrors Red Pubes On Fire says:

      I still sleep in my office, mummykins always brings me a hot water botty and reads me a story before bed.


    44. 104
      Why do so many toffee nosed boarding school educated twats with names like Rupert and Henry talk Jafaican? says:

      Yo blud. Any of you wan’ some weed or ting?


    45. 113
      RavingMad says:

      I heard the BBC luvvie John Mann going on about this today. He and some other MP were going on about how hard life is for the poor dears. You know, I don’t give a fuck about them. They in a sense got themselves in the pigshit over their expenses – otherwise known as theft from the public – and having changed the claim system they are now moaning about that. Think, who set up the new system – none other than the master of problematic systems, rife with complexity and potential misuse – that’s it the long remembered but seldom seen Gordon Brown.

      No, MPs have got a long way to go to claim any credibility for themselves. So any moaning at this stage just hampers their cause. Can’t we just get rid of them yet?


      • 119
        nell says:

        If he believes that mp’s have a hard life – he’s a bigger believer in fairy tales and father christmas than young nell!!!


        • 128
          Oh and by the way says:

          Nell there is enough being economical with the truth around this blog without you lying about your age. Going to give us all a clue as to what year you were born?


          • 170
            nell says:

            What?? When have I lied about my age??

            I’ve said often I’m a grandmother.

            I was a kid when England won the 1966 football thingie, jfk was assassinated and not much older during the vietnam war , on which I now have a library of books- yet another tragic war driven by political egoes!! , and when martin luther king died!

            The other big political event on my childhood years was the 1960-66 nazi war crime trials. I read about them, in every graphic detail, in my mother’s News of the World. Regrettably I was what they call a precocious reader! Man’s inhumanity to man. The indifference of the political classes when they are scrabbling for power and money and prepared to sacrifice anyone in order to get it. That realisation that I learnt then as a child reading of those dreadful atrocities has never left me!!

            There you go that’s as near as I get to telling anyone how old I am!!


        • 150
          Mad Nads says:

          It’s a witch-hunt!! They are persecuting all us poor unfortunate MP’s!!


    46. 116
    47. 117
      Sarah Tweet says:

      having canvassed all views, have decided to put people before buttons and bridges – so Twilk Folk are staying for now #lovetwilkfolk


    48. 118
      Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

      Breaking news on BBC website says…

      A referendum on a new electoral system will be held next year, the BBC learns.


      • 125
        Mr Plum says:

        Great a referendum on something nobody cares about, especially now we have seen how they will behave in a coalition where nobody gets what they voted for


        • 135
          Fuck Liebore Cunts says:

          Referendum on AV will be on May 5th 2011.


          • 144
            Mr Plum says:

            How about a referendum on the Lisbon treaty, troops out of Afghanistan and global warming


            • I'd like to pork Caroline Nokes says:

              Hear hear!


            • Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

              I think a referendum on global warming is an excellent idea, and will vote for the temperature to be kept just right.

              I would also like a referendum on whether the Himalayas are too high.


            • Limpservatives says:

              not with wavy davy in charge


            • Sir Everard Digby says:

              Or we could have a referendum on your abject stupidity. Looking past the rhetoric,please explain :

              1. If we all agree global warming is man made and it has to stop ,how will you presuade the rest of the wrold to play ball? After all, the world economy is fragile and depends on growth to recover. That growth will generate man made activity and increase globalw arming(if you accept the theory) Of course if the theory is wrong, a referendum would be pointless.

              2. Can we extract ourselves from the Lisbon Treaty? Not very easily,if at all.What would that do to our economy? How would the EU react?Risky right now I reckon. I sugegst taking your complaints about signing the Treaty to the Hoon who did it. He has some time on his hands now.

              3. Ah Afghanistan. No referendum needed. History dictates that the shit hole cannot be conquered or pacified. But walking away ain’t that simple. Check out what the Russians had to do to leave that country.
              We might end up with a long casualty list form that exercise.

              What’s your evacuation plan then?


      • 149
        The BBC have gone wild says:

        The BBC have done a lot of “the BBC learns” in their news broadcasts lately. They present this as factual, until in their next broadcast they tone the story down and in their next broadcast they totally fail to report it and ignore their initial “the BBC Learns”.

        Total HOONS


    49. 127
      Anonymous says:

      Do you have to wash?


    50. 129
      Kill BBC EXECS says:

      BBC not going to publish top execs wages.


    51. 131
      nell says:


      Its the 1st July. On the 1st July 1916 an uncaring british government allowed it’s generals to launch an assault in France that became known as the Battle of the Somme. On this day in 1916 60,000 men died!!! , and the British Govt never drew breath, they concealed the figures and just kept going right through September , then October losing vast numbers of young men every day and never gaining a foot of ground!!!

      That’s what happens when the public is deprived of the truth by a presscorp in thrall to a corrupt government with an overblown ego.

      I know that bliar’s and brown’s government has not lost so many of our young men in their unnecessary wars ( though each one is just as precious as each of those deaths in 1916) but their arrogance and indifference to the death and suffering they have caused is equal to that arrogance and indifference of that WW1 government!!! And their corruption of the press corp, (beeb , times and graudian especially, was even more corrosive in this last 13 years, than during 1916)


      • 151
        Vietghanistan says:

        So why is Dave all for the Afghanistan slaughter you hypocrite ?


        • 173
          nell says:

          Why did bliar put them there and gutlessgordon allow them to be deployed without proper equipment???!!!

          Cameron has said he will bring them home within the term of this government. Not acceptable, I want them home now, but it’s better than gutless gordon and aintbustinagut said. They said it would be at least another ten years and maybe 15 years!!!

          But that’s when gordon thought he was invincible and was going to be in power forever more!!


          • 191
            Vietghanistan says:


            Cameron said no such thing
            He said he wanted them home in 5 years which is more of the same meaningless platitudes you keep spouting

            Don’t pretend that you give a fuck about our boys or the war if you keep cheerleading for the warmonger Dave who is happy to keep them in the slaughterhouse for at least 5 more years

            So he’s no better than the warmongers Brown and Blair who would also keep them in for another 5 years

            The Afghan War is either right or wrong
            It didn’t stop becoming a quagmire because you love Dave

            He’s the Prime minister now and he could bring the troops out now
            but he won’t

            Those are the facts


      • 156
        nell, i tie back my piss flaps to cover my ears says:

        god bless our troops, doing a great job dying for my great leader dave


      • 159
        Gonks says:

        and yet still they enlist.


        • 190
          nell says:

          Yes I wish they didn’t.

          In WW1 one of my Uncles, who was by then 6 foot but only 15, enlisted .

          He experienced the Somme and Passchendaele and miraculously survived.

          The truth is young men think War is Cool!! It isn’t!!

          As T E Lawrence said it is a game played by old men who come out to claim the credit after young people have died and the war has been fought!!!

          And bliar/gutlessgordon/aintbustinagut/ labour ministers used emotional blackmail to get even more young people to sign up as cannon fodder to feed labour’s ego in Iraq and Afghanistan!!!

          Like it or not the tide of public opinion nationaly, in europe and in america is turning against the war in Afghanistan!!

          Time for a trial I think!!


          • 193
            NO End in Sight says:

            Dave certainly seems to think this War is Cool!! It isn’t!!

            Time to get the troops out NOW I think!!


            • nell says:

              You a poor labour idiot – diane abbot or balls aren’y you or maybe damian in disguise!!

              It’s bliar who thought the war was cool (easy to see why given the £millions he’s made from it since) – worth covering up the truth about Dr David Kelly and his revelations about bliars lies over wmd!!!

              Don’t worry about it , the truth is all going to come out very soon now in a Coroner’s Inquest.,

              Hopefully bliar and alastairc are going to be asked , under oath, why they atempted to subvert the course of justice and cover up a m34urder!!

              Lovely people , weren’t they??!!


            • nell's warmongering hypocrisy says:

              Poor nell reverts to her brainless smearing because she knows she’s been caught being a nauseating hypocrite

              It’s so sad to see you flounder and splutter so foolishly

              Dave fully supports the Afghan quagmire dearie and that’s the truth
              so he’s no better than the warmongers Blair and Brown

              Why aren’t you attacking Dave for the dead troops iof you cared about them?

              Because we all know you don’t give a fuck about them and only want to use our boys as a political football to attack anyone but Dave
              you’re THAT low and lacking in morality. lovely person, aren’t you ??!!

              Dave also supported the Iraq catastrophe, so again, no better than the Warmongers Blair and Brown

              you just can’t face the fact that your hero is every bit as stupid and bloodthirsty as Blair and Brown before him because you’re just as dumb


    52. 132
      MPs should get real says:

      Let’s face facts.

      MPs think they should be paid so much more than the rest of us because MPs think they are very important compared to the rest of us.

      The rest of us think our MP is very important because he sticks up for us (at least we think that’s what our MP does) and the other MPs are not so important.

      MPs in recent years have been shit scared of taking pay rises because of this, so they have agreed to live on massive expenses and retire on incredible pensions instead.

      The ultimate truth is that an MP is no better than a citizen’s advice volunteer and there is no shortage of wannabe MPs.

      Let them eat cake and sleep under their desks.

      And I have to despair that Dave is carrying on with this mobile cabinet gimmick that costs the taxpayer a fortune when the taxpayer has given Dave
      a perfectly good permanent cabinet office already.


    53. 133
      Referendum on 5th May says:

      Start your clocks. The countdown to the collapse of the coalition has begun.


      • 136
        Gordon Brown says:

        And that will pave the way for my comeback.


        • 143
          Bye Bye Limp Dems says:

          No, you’re a useless fuck and always were Brown.

          But hilariously Dave was so fucking bad he couldn’t even get a majority against you. Which is wht the only reason he is PM right now with the support of the Lib-Dems. The same Lib-Dems who are going to get take an absolute pasting AND lose their precious electoral reform on the same day in May. Then it all falls apart.

          Unless you are deranged enough to think the Libs will get AV and do brilliantly in the elections next year you Liberal twat.


          • 153
            Gordon Brown says:

            Och laddie! I saved the world, don’t you ken?


          • 171
            Anonymous says:

            Dave did get a majority:

            Conservative 10,726,614 36.1%
            Labour 8,609,527 29.0%
            Liberal Democrat 6,836,824 23.0%

            Imagine the screams of outrage from all the twats in the BBC if the system was biased towards the Tories in this way.


            • First Past the Post says:

              326 seats to win

              he failed


            • Mr Ned says:

              If the seat boundaries were biased in favour of the tories to the same extent as they are currently biased towards labour, then Cameron would have had a majority of seats approaching 150+

              Cameron’s tories won more votes and a bigger share of the vote and had a much bigger winning margin over the second placed party than Tony Blair won in 2005. Blair had a 66 seat majority in that election.

              Gordon Brown’s labour won LESS votes and a smaller share of the vote than John Major got in 1997! The tories were almost wiped out in 1997. Brown got fewer votes and a smaller share of the vote than the tories did in 1997!

              What accounts for the difference in the amount of seats won by each party?

              The seat boundaries. They are still massively and unfairly biased in favour of labour.


    54. 140
      Screenwriter says:

      I’ve been thinking about the film that Meryl Streep is going to star in about Margaret Thatcher and just in case the filmakers read this blog I would like to offer them the following synopsis: (by the way if they use any of my synopsis then I want my cut motherfuckers.)
      Scene 1: Thatcher made leader of Tory party
      Scene 2: Thatcher wins majority for Tories and made PM
      Scene 3: Dennis drinking copious amounts of gin and grinning inanely
      Scene 4: Thatcher becomes most successful Tory leader ever
      Scene 5: Tories supply mustard gas and a long range missile delivery system to Sadam Hussein
      Scene 4: (Death scene) Thatcher’s fellow Tories stab her in the back
      Scene 5: David Cameron made leader and then promptly fails to win majority (canned laughter)
      Run credits (Fade to black)
      The End


    55. 145
      Gordon Brown before he resigned says:


    56. 147
      Latest Poll - Liberals at 18% says:


      is a new ComRes poll out tonight for the Independent. Topline voting intention figures, with changes from their previous poll a week and a half ago, are CON 40%(+4), LAB 31%(+1), LDEM 18%(-5).

      As with ICM and YouGov, that represents a sharp drop in Liberal Democrat support, though ComRes are showing a rather lower level of Labour support than other companies.


      • 155
        Mr Plum says:

        Any chance of a snap election


        • 163
          plan b says:

          if Dave hadn’t glued himself to a liberal coalition chances are we would be having one next month and he might have got a majority


          • 174
            Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

            There again he might not have. Things aren’t going so badly are they? Throwing the Libs a few crumbs in return for a chunk of centre leftish support was a decent move in my opinion. It will take the edge off all the Tories eat children clowns.


            • plan b says:

              not badly for the conservatives just now as the polls show, which will make some wonder if he should have went for a quick snap election

              of course the right of the party has been castrated and put in a box, but Dave was always going to do that

              the liberals on the other hand are crashing and burning


            • Plan C says:

              … should have went for… Surely you mean “should of went for…?


          • 243
            Mr Ned says:

            Nope, he needs to remove the massive and unfair bias towards labour in the seat boundaries before holding an election.

            That poll would still lead to a hung Parliament with the tories failing to secure an overall majority by about 4 seats, with the current boundaries.

            With a fair distribution it would give the tories a majority of about 80 seats.


    57. 157
      Gonks says:

      Boy would you make a cheque out for a Dubai flat for 65 k to Mr Howmadareyou


    58. 158
      The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

      Just give them a matress, a kettle .water and a shower
      even give them (tagged and unstealable) towels . soap and make them sleep on their office floor in an Ikea duvet


      • 160
        arthur says:

        give them a council house and a laptop so they can email their vote when the whips tell them too


      • 164
        Engineer says:

        If the Mayor of London gets his way and clears Swampy and his mates off Parliament Square, there will be rows of empty tents available shortly, and right on the doorstep, as it were.


        • 166
          That's no way to talk about Guido's friends says:

          Guido got hammered celebrating with Brian Haw at the Channel 4 Political Awards.


    59. 162
      arthur says:

      o/t saatchi is saving on the price of a skip


    60. 169
      MILF Lover says:

      Go to 17.43 for Caroline Nokes in all her splendiferously MILFY glory.



    61. 176
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      If they renamed it The Piccadilly Fudgepackers Hotel they’d be crowded out with MP’s every night. Might encourage McTwat to return.


    62. 177
      David Laws, Mark Oaten and Simon Hughes says:

      Hang on a mo. We ain’t into women


    63. 178
      Sarah Beard says:

      My younger sister Professor Mary is on QT tonight!


    64. 181
      Polishing The Brass On The Titanic says:

      Anyone else seen the FTSE recently?

      Errrrrr that is not normal.


    65. 182
      MILF Lover says:

      Let’s enjoy a musical break. A slice of legendary prog-rock awesomeness.


    66. 195
      electro-kevin says:

      I don’t think MPs are particularly well paid – not if they put the hours in that they’re meant to.


    67. 196
      bird with small brain says:

      At last, a reasonably rational and balanced Question Time. Has the BBC seen the error of it’s ways, or is it a lucky (for my blood pressure) accident?


    68. 204
      arthur says:

      did andy infer he was too be sacked ?


    69. 207


    70. 208
      Paxo Rooster-booster says:

      Empty chair ‘em, here here Guido!


    71. 212









    72. 213
      albacore says:

      “But they want to stay anonymous for fear they will be evicted on health and safety grounds.”
      Lurkers and midnight creepers.
      How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!
      O Mother, tell your children
      Not to do what I have done
      To spend their nights in sin and misery
      In the House of Corruption


    73. 216
      BRING E'M HOME says:

      Why the fuck are our troops going to be last out of Afghanistan
      is it so the yanks can save face and say that it was the British that were in control when the taliban re took the country ?
      after all they dont want to have to run away again like they did in Vietnam !


      • 222
        50 Calibre says:

        All the Taliban have to do is wait until the foreign troops go, probably in response to the public unacceptability of too many of them being killed in battle or captured and sent back home badly mutilated as they did to the Russians.

        In the meantime Karzai & Co will continue line their Swiss bank accounts with US$ and prepare their escape routes and gold-plated hideouts in the ‘West’ for the inevitable outcome of this mad western excursion into one of the oldest inhabited parts of the planet where the way of life is basically the same as ever it has been except for mobile phones, RPG and AK47s.

        The notion that the national army and police will one day be able to control the whole country is frankly daft. It isn’t going to happen and the sooner the foreigners leave and let the Afghans sort out their own problems the better it will be in the long run. The world always has 2 or 3 ‘rogue’ states and unfortunately Afghanistan is probably going to be the next, no doubt funding itself from the drugs trade with the ‘West’.

        You couldn’t make it up…


      • 223
        Albie Here says:

        Wanks,fanks,tanks,shanks,hanks,banks,yanks,just words,this country is already at a sh-t 3rd world country stage in the whose country is better than your country stakes,the boys and girls ,you know our beloved MP’s can’t be offended if we get out now,the words I want to hear from Bastard Cameron is we pulled the troops out over a period of days and it started on 29th June or our troops will be out starting next week,not that f*cking Fox telling us we will be in for years,I don’t want to see our troops coming home in coffins and Cameron don’t try and sneak our dead back into the country,otherwise we will have him and his Liberal friends balls for garters,that’s if we can find any.



    74. 220
      50 Calibre says:

      There are plenty of park benches around Westminster. It would be good to see the utilisation thereof increased by MPs now the weather is a bit better.


    75. 225

      A vote for AV is a vote for an eternity of totalitarian socialism.

      Why is Dave giving this option? Why not offer STV – that’s what was in the LibDem Manifesto. Why AV?

      Where is this coming from?


    76. 235
      Bonfire QUANGOs, Repeal EUSSR Law, End 13 yrs of Noo_Lie_Bore bullshit and PC Bollocks says:

      JUST DO IT FFS !!!


    77. 240
      Anonymous says:

      “those rare Tuesdays when the Commons sits late”.

      Main business usually concludes after 10pm on all sitting Mondays and Tuesdays, Guido.

      Do keep up.


    78. 248
      Uranus, The Magician. says:

      I suggest THIS address for many, many MPs.



    79. 249
      Disco Biscuit says:

      But in the House of Commons…

      •FREE showers – got them
      •Breakfast Available – Full English for under a fiver in the Terrace cafeteria
      •24hr Security – surrounded by armed police and bomb barriers
      •24hr Internet Cafe – got internet in their offices


    80. 251

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