June 30th, 2010

IPSA-a-Daisy II

Last month they were accidentally paying people when they shouldn’t and now today, payday, it’s the turn of the bag-carriers and researchers to rage at IPSA. Scores of Parliamentary staff have been underpaid this month, with errors ranging from £20 to £300 shy. An all round saving  for the taxpayer.

When one lowly staffer phoned the IPSA offices to complain, they could not come up with an explanation, though ever helpful they replied – “We’ve got some P45 forms if you want one of those?”


  1. 1
    jdennis_99 says:

    Quelle surprise. Another quango staffed by incompetent Hoons.

  2. 2
    Farmer Giles says:

    I’ve got a brand new combine harvester

  3. 3
    I'd love to pork Caroline Nokes says:

    They’re overpaid as it is. They should be paid in packets of crisps. Though even that’s too generous.

  4. 4
    Dr David Kelly says:

    Draft legal advice given to Blair before Iraq invasion just published by Chilcot and makes interesting reading.

  5. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m planning my political comeback. I’ve already done my first jobby.

  6. 7
    Sir William Waad says:

    Res ipsa loquitur.

  7. 9
    Anarchy In The UK says:

    O/T but surprised it isn’t a topic. Justice Minister to open the prison gates in a ‘more liberal than a Liberal’ experiment. It’s a controlled experiment. Those not taking part get police protection and represent a constituency where there’s more chance of spotting a unicorn than being mugged, everyone
    else takes their chances.

    • 11
      Use Your Brain, Don't Let Yourself Become A Victim says:

      Kill a Lib Dem or Tory MP or pay a released crim to do it as an example and watch how quick they turn around on this policy

      • 32
        Ashy says:

        Hmm,it’s amazing just what you can get a smackhead to do for heroin

      • 37
        AC1 says:

        Lets start a fund to pay for the best barrister team possible to defend anyone charged with the murder of an MP.

        Britain isn’t a failing state, it’s turning into the opposite of a state.
        Borders Defended? Nope.
        Citizens Defended? Nope.
        Country Defended? Nope.
        UK Troops Defended? Nope.
        UK citizens privileged over foreigners? Nope.

        Heads on Pikes time.

  8. 10
    Sir William Waad says:

    She was only a welder’s daughter, but she loved a nice big helmet.

    • 12
      Joe Miller says:

      She was only the the town clerk’s daughter, but she let the borough surveyor.

      • 13
        Old ones are best says:

        She was only the telegraphist’s daughter, but she didit, didit, didit…

        • 22
          Anonymous says:

          She was only the zookeepers daughter but she knew a cockatoo.

        • 23
          One of the Krankies says:

          The even older ones …..

          She was only a jockey’s daughter, but all the horse manure.

          She was only a clergyman’s daughter, but you couldn’t put anything pastor.

          She was only a fishmonger’s daughter, but she lay on the slab and said fillet.

    • 31
      Piss Pot says:

      She was only a pilot’s daughter but she kept her cock pit clean.

  9. 15

    Is it not funny that MP staffers get a taste of what it is like to be one the wrong end of the stick?

  10. 19
    Penfold says:

    Useless assholes.

    Any commercial operation creating this sort of mess would be subject to sanctions.

    Why can’t IPSA give the job to a commercail payroll company who do this sort of work on autopilot.

    Useless, useless tossers.

  11. 21
    Hellboy88 says:

    Glad you think that part-time typists on less than £10,000 per annum working in Central London deserve their monthly pay to fall short by a possible £300 – what a laff …..

  12. 25
    Old geezer says:

    I bet that they did not forget to pay themselves.

  13. 29
    Gawkes says:

    Fuck off and collect a p45 on your way out.

  14. 33
    streamfisher says:

    It’s just not fair! and neither is the independent parliamentary standards authority, Ha, Ha,

  15. 35
    Do not feed the mongs says:

    I wonder what work could be found for the window lickers on here? Something entering data via a keyboard no doubt.

    • 39
      AC1 says:

      That’s what I do for a living! I also do a bit of translating my business partners misheard customer demands into SQL and HTML.

      Why are you using a keyboard (or perhaps a head-wand?) to enter data into Guidos blog?

    • 45
      Piss Pot says:

      Nah ‘mong’I think your average bloggers on Guido are self employed Brain Surgeons and the likes AND all round good eggs! So stop being so superior – oh, you’re not Gorgon are you?

  16. 44
    Gordon says:

    Have you got my cheque yet?
    Do you know who I am?

  17. 50
    Lola says:

    Well, fuck me. MP’s don’t like working under a Quango? Well then, you tossers come and run a business in Financial Services and find out what its really like as a Quango Serf. These bloody Quangos are the curse of the times. They all, yes all of them need shutting down. Now. Including IPSA. Why the bloody Hell can’t MP’s run their own affiars? They are s’posed to be able to ‘run the country’. Oh yeah. Of Course. Silly me.

    • 52
      Blanco says:

      twas the conservatives started them

      • 54
        Lola says:

        Hey, I know I know. But who said I was a Tory? I’m far left of the bloody Tories, but even farther right of sodding Labour. Anyway if the Tory’s invented them they should know how to SHUT THEM DOWN.

        • 56
          AC1 says:

          You’re an Adam Smith Capitalist.

          • Lola says:

            Is that good or bad?

          • AC1 says:

            It’s golly Good!

            Ground-rents are a still more proper subject of taxation than the rent of houses. A tax upon ground-rents would not raise the rents of houses. It would fall altogether upon the owner of the ground-rent, who acts always as a monopolist, and exacts the greatest rent which can be got for the use of his ground. More or less can be got for it according as the competitors happen to be richer or poorer, or can afford to gratify their fancy for a particular spot of ground at a greater or smaller expense. In every country the greatest number of rich competitors is in the capital, and it is there accordingly that the highest ground-rents are always to be found. As the wealth of those competitors would in no respect be increased by a tax upon ground-rents, they would not probably be disposed to pay more for the use of the ground. Whether the tax was to be advanced by the inhabitant, or by the owner of the ground, would be of little importance. The more the inhabitant was obliged to pay for the tax, the less he would incline to pay for the ground; so that the final payment of the tax would fall altogether upon the owner of the ground-rent.

          • lola says:

            AC1: Three cheers for LVT then? After me now. Hip! Hip! Hooray!!!

        • 64
          Blanco says:

          Via facebook..hey mongs your fired.

  18. 51
  19. 66
    The Tree says:

    watch this over the next few days as it will probably escalate into main news.

  20. 67
    Dack Blog says:

    Hmmm… looks like we’ll be going back to turkey twizzlers at school, then.

    • 73
      Engineer says:

      Totting up the ‘E’ numbers would improve pupil numeracy.

      • 81
        Dack Blog says:

        I must say that dinners at my school have improved no end. Sure numbers dropped at first (I remember one kid in front of me in the queue exclaiming ‘Urgh… What’s THAT??!!’ as he pointed at cauliflower). But the take up has grown and surpassed previous numbers. It’s not lecturing, it’s just what’s there – and they’ve got used to it. The canteen has been upgraded and they actually like sitting in there to eat. It’s a private company though – and expensive. I’d rather a local independent did it, using local food, and encouraging local small business/employment.

        • 83
          AC1 says:

          and probably even more expensive.

          • Dack Blog says:

            No idea. We did find one that from what I heard was cheaper, but getting out of our contract would have cost more.

          • Dack Blog says:

            Anyway – I’m not on an anti-privatisation rant. A local company would be private too. I’d just prefer local. Not corporate.

        • 84
          concrete pump says:

          I went to a private school in the 80′s and the food served from the kitchens was fucking awful. Year masters suggested we made our own – we did.

        • 87
          Engineer says:

          I remember listening to the saga unfold on The Food Programme when Jamie Oliver and others were campaigning. I think Jeanette Orrey was one of the main protagonists, and did just as you describe in her own school canteen, with startling improvement to pupil behaviour and academic attainment. Straightforward logic, really – you are what you eat.

          I was surprised at how poor school catering had become. My memories of school dinners are of healthy, if rather unexciting food. We only got chips on Fridays, but chocolate pudding and custard was a popular regular. About the only negatives were the fishless fish fingers and the catering-quality roast beef. Turkey Twizzlers were unknown (and possibly not invented). We usually ate it all, as well.

          • Screw says:

            Prisoners get a well balanced diet

          • John Presclott says:

            A pie in each ‘and. That’s a balanced diet, that is.

          • sick note says:

            Spit roasts a speciality.

          • Chef says:

            I worked in a jail kitchen. The food was all fresh, nothing out of packets with E’s in them. Breakfast was 2 courses with cornflakes twice a week.Lunch 3 courses and tea another hot meal of at least two items.Then a supper of tea and a bun.All top grade food.

          • concrete pump says:

            And you can have as much bread as you want (in Y.O.I’s) but it’s all thin sliced.

            Ever noticed how you get medium and thick sliced bread but hardly ever thin sliced.

            It’s cos young offender institutions and prisons buy it all.


          • Dack Blog says:

            Christ I’ve been fretting about why that was. I can sleep easy now.

          • Engineer says:

            I once worked with an engineer who in a previous employment had designed high pressure water jet cutting equipment. The early ones were not as powerful as the modern ones, which can cut 6″ thick steel at a push, but one application he designed a machine for was a bakery. Apparently for catering markets, they make the loaves about ten feet long, then slice them. Cutters tend to crush fresh bread, so they used the HP water jet – very successfully. You’d think the water would soak the bread, but you need so little of it that it didn’t.

            When he related this tale, one of the draughtsmen asked him why he hadn’t installed two nozzles, one for the water, one for butter, thus producing ready sliced and buttered. The draughtsman was told to travel, with jerky movements…

          • concrete pump says:

            Oh well thanks, i was only trying to be mildly interesting.


          • concrete pump says:

            That was at Dack, not you Engineer.

          • Dack Blog says:

            Sorry. Fascinating, both. If a bread-related conversation comes up at work tomorrow I’m bound to impress ;)

          • Engineer says:

            We try our humble best…do we get an A*?

  21. 68
    Mummy's Boy says:

    Why does Andy Murray always take his mum to work?

    • 114
      diane slabott says:

      ‘Cos Scottish mums love their boys so much more than whitey English mums.

      She head butts anybody who heckles her wain.

  22. 69
    BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

    o/t BBC News at 6 conducting a classic “hate the coalition” episode… start of each story with a negative, a snippet of “govt says”, then followed by rows of talking heads condemning whatever it is.

    • 70
      BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

      “start off”.

    • 100
      The TV Licence says:

      Yeah well what do you expect from them so soon, change will take time, its the usual biased broadcasting corporation we all love to hate atm.

  23. 79
    Gordon says:

    Apparently I am still Prime Minister in all but name… and job.
    But I am told by Doctor Jung that none of this matters as I am still considered to be a man amongst men
    Now can I have my cheque?

  24. 82
    Disco Biscuit says:

    The stupid cnuts have fcuked up my pay, too.

  25. 88
    Head Lizard says:

    why is slotgob on 4 news about releasing convicts

  26. 90
    wee jock says:

    Andy Murray through to the semis. Get it up you!

  27. 96
    WONKA says:

    Gas leak halts production at Norway Troll A Field
    According to Dow Jones, production has been suspended at several Norwegian North Sea oil and gas facilities after a small gas leak at Statoil’s Troll A field, the company said. Production has been halted at Norway’s largest gas field, Troll A following the leak, in addition to flows from Kvitebjoern and Visund oil and gas fields.

    Not to worry it’s only bubbles!!

  28. 103
    Head Lizard says:

    Could be some pieces are moving into position to checkmate Blair and Co

  29. 106
    The Tree says:

    “El Paso City Hall Struck By Bullets; Gunshots Believed To Have Come From Juarez”
    it wasn’t stray gunfire. I have spoke with people who fired back into Mexico. The only incident in Juarez was a mile away, quite a distance for 7 stray bullets to travel.

    • 108
      Know Your True Enemy says:

      Obummer and the democrats are letting it happen on purpose, even if you defend your town successfully they will side with the Mexicans and say oh the poor dears where forced into drugs and running cartels because of the evil American capitalists etc. etc.

      Also letting the Mexicans run wild like this gives them a plausible excuse to hide behind and to raise homeland security measures like Bush did via 9/11.

  30. 116
  31. 121
    Quentin Lets Go says:

    Its taken me 6 months, 17 phone calls, 8 letters, and several headbanging sessions to get back the tax HMRC owe me and its still not right. Just what do these people do all day? Its our money and in this case mine – who the fuck do they think they are???

    • 127
      Head Lizard says:

      They are there to stonewall you until you give up and they get to keep it

    • 136
      Engineer says:

      HMRC are institutionally incompetent. Get a good accountant to do your tax returns – they’ll save you more than they cost just in time saved.

  32. 122
    Lord Goldsmith's warning to Tony Blair that Iraq war would be illegal says:

    Former Attorney General Lord Goldsmith warned Tony Blair three months before the Iraq war that an invasion would be illegal, secret memos showed today.

    The Cabinet Office published Lord Goldsmith’s first draft of his legal advice and confirmed that he had serious doubts about the legality of the conflict without a fresh UN mandate.

    The memo, released under the orders of Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O’Donnell, was written on January 14, 2003.

    It stated: “My opinion is that resolution 1441 does not revive the authorisation to use of force… in the absence of a further decision of the Security Council.”

    The memo also made clear that Lord Goldsmith found arguments in favour of a war without the UN resolution “unconvincing”.

    Yet within days of giving his opinion, he flew to Washington for a meeting with President Bush’s top advisers and changed his mind about the legal position.

    John Bellinger, the former White House legal counsel, later told British colleagues: “We had trouble with your attorney. We got him there eventually”.


  33. 124
    soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime says:

    Howard hits out at jail term plans

    Conservative former home secretary Michael Howard has hit out at controversial proposals by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to send fewer criminals to prison and use more community sentences.

    Mr Howard – who famously coined the expression “prison works” – said that he was “not convinced” by Mr Clarke’s more liberal approach to penal policy.

    “I think in order to protect the public, serious and persistent criminals need to be put in prison,” he told the BBC Radio 4 PM programme.

    “I think that is what conscientious judges and magistrates are doing at present and I think that is the best way of protecting the public.”

    David Cameron defended Mr Clarke’s plans, saying that he was being forced to take radical action to deal with the “complete mess” that Labour had made of the the criminal justice system.

    “I believe that prison can work, it is just not working properly at the moment,” he told MPs at Prime Minister’s Questions.

    “If ever there was a part of our public services that needed radical reform to make sure prison does work, that’s it.”

    However there was anger among Tory MPs after Mr Clarke used his first major speech as Justice Secretary to question the value of “banging up more and more people”, suggesting it was a throwback to the Victorian era.

    He said that sending offenders to jail often proved to be a “costly and ineffectual approach that fails to turn criminals into law-abiding citizens” and called for “intelligent sentencing” with a greater focus on rehabilitation.

    Tory backbencher Philip Davies warned that Mr Clarke was out of step with ordinary Conservative supporters who voted for the party at the general election.

    • 125
      Dack Blog says:

      Seems they don’t need the LDs to infight with.

      • 130
        Cameron backs Clarke 100% says:

        It’s mere huffing and puffing from Howard and others

        Dave knows he has the right of the Party firmly on a leash and they will behave

        • 133
          Dack Blog says:

          I’m sure he is Clarke-ish. Not sure about the right in the longer term.

        • 134
          Jethro says:

          here’s how the local crims view it. They rode up to the prison on trail bikes, smashed their way into the 4×4 that is used to patrol the perimeter. Poured petrol into it while the others held the warders at bay, set it on fire and rode off. This was to warn them to stop searches for mobile phones and drugs.

    • 128
      Sinbad says:

      Divide and rule.

    • 144
      Government.Mafia says:

      making sure the troffers don’t go to jail and when they troff they don’t either.

      • 145
        Government.Mafia says:

        Well that did not go to the post it was meant for “soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime”.It shows Guido’s web designers is a total incompetent and should not be hired by anyone who wants a serious professional site

  34. 137
    Britains Got Mongs says:

    I hated Britain’s got talent until I saw the mongs who thought they were brilliant. I found their idiocy highly entertaining, like jesters. I have just had the same with Big Brother,watching the reactions of the mongs on it

  35. 142
    Head Lizard says:

    hite van man jailed after deliberately running down stranger because he thought he was unemployed

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1290246/White-van-man-jailed-deliberately-running-stranger-thought-unemployed.html#ixzz0sN3jTj65

  36. 149
    Daniel says:

    Once again, a very interesting read – I feel for those staff who had there wages cut – next time could IPSA cut MP’s wages, and keep it that way?

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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