June 30th, 2010

Calamity Kenny’s Latest Comedy Moment

An update on calamity Kenny hits the inbox from a Scottish co-conspirator:

You may like to know that Kenny today led Ed Milliband through the turnstiles at the Scottish Parliament. However, oor Kenny led Ed to the wrong turnstile that only allows people to enter rather than exit. Cue a good 30 seconds or so of Ed looking like a cock trying to get through an immovable door. A far cry from Kenny’s door holding days of glory with Mr Brown.

Malcolm Tucker he ain’t…


  1. 1
    Ratsniffer says:

    This guy is the Norman Wisdom of Spads

  2. 2

    We’re all despairing about our SpAds together.

  3. 3
    Cameron makes the Guardian very happy on crime says:

    On prisons, Ken Clarke shows real reforming spirit

    A more rational debate on penal policy has been opened. Now Clarke has political and technical hurdles to negotiate

    Justice secretary Kenneth Clarke has indicated that fewer offenders could be locked up in prison and more given community sentences. Photograph: Paul Faith/PA

    To the delight of prison reformers, justice secretary Kenneth Clarke has shown which way he wants to turn on prison policy. Expressing what seemed genuine astonishment that the numbers behind bars had doubled since he was home secretary in 1992, his recognition in today’s speech at King’s College London that there are more people in prison than necessary is as welcome as it is overdue. His description of prison as often costly and ineffectual marks a return to late 1980s Conservative policy under Douglas Hurd, which saw that far from working, “imprisonment can often be an expensive way of making bad people worse.”


  4. 4

    We’re all soft on criminals together.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    What turnstiles? I’ve seen none in there since the building opened.

  6. 6
    earth, well and truly shattered says:

    He’s an irrelevant incompetent twat and always was

    good scoop

  7. 7
  8. 8
  9. 9
    Dack Blog says:


  10. 10
    Unsworth says:

    Nice that Ed got a taste of incarceration. Shame it was so short lived. Better luck next time, Kenny.

  11. 11
    The Home Secretary says:

    Now look, know that some of you are concerned about my speech on prisons but let me explain a bit more about it, because as always I’ve been misrepresented by the silly right wing tory press.

    We liberals have done a cost benefit analysis, and found that the cost of keeping criminals in jail, compared with releaseing them and risking the occasional one murdering an old lady or robbing a few banks, is prohibitive.

    Thing is, there’s simply no way of moneytising jails! There’s no demand for mailbags anymore, and we daren’t privatise them all or it will mean prisoners having to pay rent for their cells.

    So what I say to loyal, concerned tories is: I don’t give a stuff actually. To my liberal and labour friends, especially those at the guardian, I say crime is not as common as victims like us to think. Don’t have nightmares!

  12. 12
    Sarah Tweet says:

    having canvassed all views, have decided to put people before buttons and bridges – so Twilk Folk are staying for now #lovetwilkfolk

  13. 13
    Loony Lefty Libcons says:

    It’s more of a taste than most criminals will get thanks to Dave’s soft on crime policy.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    @Dack Blog.

    My mistake. I use the public entrance.

  15. 15
    David Cameron says:


  16. 16
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Were these imbeciles really running the country 8 weeks ago?

  17. 17
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Sorry, I missed all this and, to be frank, I couldn’t give a monkey’s.

  18. 18
    Susie says:

    Hard labour used to involve treadmills 5 hours a day each on the treadmill to power the jail… sorted.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Ive noticed the Guardian is throwing out their toys from the pram about the coalition nothing to do with the Jobs supplement that keeps the rag going
    by any chance.

  20. 20
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    A cock and Balls

  21. 21
    Anita Doth says:

    No no
    No no no

  22. 22
    Prince Charles of that Ilk says:

    Peanuts given they spent half a billion quid building the monstrous carbuncle. It looks like a fucking school gym inside too.

  23. 23
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:


  24. 24
    Wavy Davey's brains are gravy says:

    We’re all hugging hoodies together.

  25. 25
    A P Bliar MA (Oxon) says:

    I’m getting a new medal from my American friends and, to show how true their love for me is, a hundred grand to boot.

    Fuck you all.



  26. 26
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Seeing as how this was in Scotchland the pair ov em were prubly trying to avoid payin thu entry fee

    Then raped each other in the bogs indulging in water sports, coprohillia and fisting. Its the Scotchlandish way of life.

  27. 27
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Can you not learn to speak fucking English, you fucking stupid worthless irrelevant foreign bitch?

  28. 28
    An Oxen says:

    I never schooled with Blair, nor did my Ma

  29. 29
    biffo says:

    I’m hard on criminals.

  30. 30
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Labour: RIP 2010.
    The Guardian: RIP 2011
    The BBC: RIP 2013

    ho hum, never mind.

  31. 31
    anon says:

    WTF does this mean?
    No on second thoughts- I don’t give a shit.

  32. 32
    Englishwoman in Scotland. says:


  33. 33
    the beast of berkeley hunt says:

    That’s the full monty then luv.

  34. 34
    father jack says:

    You’re pissed.

  35. 35
    Mr Plum says:

    Its a shame ken never spelt out this policy during the election or has he suddenly seen the light. It does sound exactly like the same loony thinking that was in the libs manifesto.

  36. 36
    Out of Africa says:

    So, now that Engerland have predictably been eliminated from the world cup and no fucker in the UK now cares about the outcome. Isn’t it time for the BBC to take their army out of Safrica?

  37. 37

    Maybe they need some time in a peace pod. I’m sure Harriet has one she can share.

  38. 38
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Hope you’re going to pick up on the Goldsmith story Guido if you haven’t already, now that papers have been released on the orders of Gus who seems to have has a Damascene conversion as far as the public interest is concerned. This happened about six weeks ago, at a guess.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    got as much chance of that than Labour admitting that Brown created the fucking mess we are in now knowing full well all the fucking Left wing media
    will start blaming the new goverment.
    Fucking traitors

  40. 40
    Julie Kirkbrood says:

    I always said that Keneth Clarke was simply simply marvellous. We Tories must imply simply start to understand the reasons why these poor people turn to crime and stop being the nasty party.

  41. 41
    Ian Kirkbride says:

    My sister is always right.

  42. 42
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Beaconsfiled, Buckinghamshire is foreign now? Must tell Clarkson!

  43. 43
    lolol says:

    you need to ask ?

  44. 44
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Hope you are right!

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Silly bitch!

  46. 46
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Ooh. I’m scared.

  47. 47
    Heir to Blair says:

    Ken isn’t in charge of the Coalition negotiations or Policy.
    Dave is.

  48. 48
    camberwick spleen says:

    ………….addressed to the lunatic who has just been deleted.

  49. 49
    Criminal says:

    Fucking great,robbing on the double here I come.

  50. 50
    Scummy Scrote says:

    The reason we turn to crime is that we are scum and love taking advantage of do gooder tossers who want to give us an easy life while we rob their houses…why work when you can nick and make more money, and even if you get caught jail is like a social clubs full of me mates…down the gym lads! Game of pool lads? Some dope, lads? Great life….the screws have to call us “Mr” now!

  51. 51
    The Chicken of Clerkenwell says:

    face down in the cheap cider again are we?

  52. 52
    Tessa Tickles says:

    And your scoop is what, exactly, fucktard?

  53. 53
    Polly put the kettle on.....bitch.. says:

    Axe all those ads and put them online like the rest of the world….it’s basically a govt subsidy, which nulabour were quite happy to increase so that their mates would publish their press releases unchallenged.

  54. 54
    kenny says:

    Give me £5 million, and I won’t rob no poor people no more luv.

  55. 55
    The TV Licence says:

    And totally green too, with a tree hugging PR bonus to boot, David needs to look this one over.

  56. 56
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Is that near Canterbury? Or near Scotchland, where she fled to have her wee babbies?

    Mustn’t have wee babbies in Ingerland. Fucking foreign bitch.

  57. 57
    The TV Licence says:

    I’ll second that!

  58. 58
    monglicker says:

    that you’re a fucking twat, no wait! everyone knows that already, so delete that

  59. 59
    Tessa Tickles says:

    It means if she ever steps in front of my car, I hit the accelerator. Doubly so if she has her wee babbies with her.

  60. 60
    Hug this Hoodie Dave says:

  61. 61
    lolol says:

    Oh you’re SO butch Ducky!

  62. 62
    David Laws says:

    I don’t.

  63. 63
    Nick Clegg says:

    I am

  64. 64
  65. 65
    The TV Licence says:

    Well you’d think so, they could leave a few guys there to cover the rest, not many games left now, save us all a few quid. Never happen though, we’re talking BBC here!

    On second thoughts just stop contracting with BBC/TVL/Capita and ignore them, forever.

  66. 66
    Promotion! says:

    no longer mere Deputy PM Nick?
    that didn’t take long

  67. 67
    Groundcon,waring contains some nuts says:

    can’t we make the tread mills out of cast iron like giant gears and just grind them into mulch for agriculture

  68. 68
    amongymous says:

    Always worth checking out Sally Bercow’s “english” in her twattering, all the better for being from a middle-aged reformed slag trying to sound hip and thinking that putting things like #toryepicfail #mustbdailyfailreader or #sameoldnastytoriesabolishingNHS makes her young. Can never quite work out which one of her and the Squeaker I feel most sorry for being in a relationship with the other.

  69. 69
    Mike Hunt says:

    A real bargain by their standards, probably fitted by a friendly company.

  70. 70
    Hangem says:

    Prison doesn’t work as a friend of mine (currently on a 3 year stretch for robbery) tells me, all you have to do is not stab anyone for a while and you get carpets,curtains,playstation and a telly plus on the sly mobile phones and drugs, whilst your waiting you get to meet like minded people and get tips whilst planning your next job.

  71. 71
    Robin Hoodie says:

    Because we’re poor and envious and your rich and stupid, so its your fault, you made me do it, I’m the fucking victim here!

  72. 72
    Pokiss says:

    The rest of the blogs are well ahead of Guido on this one.

  73. 73
    Mandy,somewhere on the earth says:

    I always use the rear entrance

  74. 74
    Do not feed the mongs says:

    Twilk is to auto place a fucking mongy back ground to your mongy tweet

  75. 75
    Abrahim Of The North says:

    The Scots hate the Jewish peoples almost as much as they hate the English, plenty of Scottish slum estates flying the Palestinian flag and plenty of mosques spewing jihadi hate in Scotland.

    Yes it would be wise to keep these Scottish at arms length as they Americans have recently learned like the English and French peoples have known for so long these Scottish peoples cannot be trusted.

  76. 76
    Gordon Brown (Sulking in Scotland) says:

    Lying Cheshire cat smiling Hunt, don’t ever come back you hear me!
    Between you and that fcuking bigoted woman, she had to be a B&P plant just had to be…

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:


  78. 78
    Diane Abbott says:

    Shhhhh we’re playing hide & seek today.

  79. 79
    AC1 says:

    Execution is cheaper than prison.

  80. 80
    AC1 says:

    Well lets just say it won’t be investigated by a female who works as a presenter on leftwingviewsnight…

  81. 81
  82. 82
    Ed says:

    Hopefully I’ll be taking part in “I’m a celebratory get me out of here” this year.

  83. 83
    AC1 says:

    and then their mates at AlJaBeebya would pick up as the narrative for the day.

  84. 84
    Diane Abbott says:

    Mmmmm I love hoodies, only West Indian ones though, because West Indian ones will got to jail for their mothers.

  85. 85
    Vic Reeves says:

    Very poor!

  86. 86
    nell says:


    So guso’donnell – brown’s and now cameron’s cabinet secretary has chosen to publish the advice given to bliar by his attorney general on the eve of his meeting with bush ( where he promised the lives of as many of our troops as bush wanted for the Iraq War)…..

    Interesting move !!!!

    goldsmith (the attorney general) ” I remain of the view that the correct legal interpretaion of resolution 1441 is that it does NOT authorise the use of force……..”

    Chickens coming home to roost!! Finally!!!

    A Coroner’s Inquest into the death of Dr David Kelly will further undermine the reputations of bliar, brown and alastairc.

    War Crimes Tribinal at the Hague anyone??!!

  87. 87
    WAR\ WITHOUT\ END\ says:

    Liam Fox: British troops will be last to leave Afghanistan

    British troops will be among the last international forces to leave Afghanistan, Liam Fox has said, playing down hopes of an early withdrawal.


  88. 88
    Paul Keetch says:

    I use both, but there again my wife says I’m like a dog with two dicks in the morning.

  89. 89
    Auntie Flo' says:

    Almost as bad as Calamity Sally. Why does Ms Bercow do this?


  90. 90
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    Dr Kelly ‘couldn’t have slit his wrist as he was too weak’

    Dramatic new testimony has heaped pressure on ministers to reopen the investigation into the death of Dr David Kelly.
    A female colleague claims that the UN weapons inspector could not have committed suicide as claimed, as he was too weak to cut his own wrist.
    Mai Pedersen, a U.S. Air Force officer who served with Dr Kelly’s inspection team in Iraq, said a hand and arm injury meant that the 59-year-old even ‘had difficulty cutting his own steak’.



  91. 91
    nell says:

    Peace pods?! – labour?!

    hattyharpic and the ex labour government…. the most warmongering, uncaring, bloodthirsty, uncompassionate government we have had since WW1 built peace pods in London for their pown personal use???!

    What a Laugh???!!!! Er! No! wrong expression! – should be… “what a farce”!!!!

  92. 92
    monglicker says:

    said the pathetic twat

  93. 93
    David Icke says:

    Yes they were, well them or the New World Order and the Bilderberg’s, right where’s my tin foil hat gone….

  94. 94
    Chris Huhne says:

    I have the same problem

  95. 95
    Mandy says:


  96. 96
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    A Coroner’s Inquest isn’t nearly enough.
    We need a full Public Inquiry into Kelly.
    Until we get it Ministers and the new Government are complicit in the cover up.

  97. 97
    nell says:

    Peace pods?! – labour?!

    hattyharpic and the ex labour government…. the most warmongering,uncaring,bloodthirsty,uncompassionategovernment we have had since WW1, built peace pods in London for their own personal use???!

    What a Laugh???!!!! Er… No! wrong expression! – should be… “what a farce”!!!!

  98. 98
    nell says:

    sorry Guido just had to try once to beat the automod!!!

    Still think you should use it sometimes ( once a month or once a week) as a ‘beat the puzzle/automod’ type post!!

  99. 99
    AC1 says:

    Though they will send their cleaner to jail for them.

  100. 100
    arthur says:

    what about our troops, alright to die for dave

  101. 101
    nell says:

    No! All we need is a Legal Coroner’s Inquest into the death of Dr David Kelly.

    If the Coroner finds that Dr Kelly was ” Unlawfully Killed” as I feel almost certain that they will ( see book “The Strange Death of Dr David Kelly” by Norman Baker – the current Transport Minister), then as I understand the law, the Police MUST launch an inquest to determine the murderer/s!!!

    Let’s remember that the Cabinet Office is no longer in thrall to labour, the metropolitan police are no longer under the control of a labour freak, MI5 has been released from the tentacles of labour’s stooge = scratty starlet.

    Oh Yes!!! Truth is marchiong down the road!!

    No doubt bliar, alastairc, scrattystarlet, falkener and broon are looking for bolt holes!!!!

  102. 102
    nell, i tie back my piss flaps to cover my ears says:

    what troops

  103. 103
    nell says:

    We had a whitewash inquiry (Hutton) we don’t want another one!!!!

    What is needed is a legal Coroner’s Inquest where people called are required to give testimony under oath!

    It will, I feel almost sure, now happen under this government.

    When it does, expect, bliar, alastairc, brown and all their cronies in government, to run for cover. Let’s hope there’s none top be found!!!

  104. 104
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    If the Cabinet Office are no longer in thrall why would they refuse a full Public Inquiry ?

    You’re naiveté about a Coroner’s Inquest and what it could reveal or would ever consider doing is touching but misplaced.

    Olnly a full Public Inquiry will examine every aspect that surrounds Kelly’s death. From Campbell leaking Kelly’s name to the Blair correspondence between him and Bush to the Security Servives MOD MI5/6 the US Security Services and JIC.

    Those arguing against a full Public Inquiry are a disgrace to the memory of Kelly.

  105. 105
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    You’re naiveté about a Coroner’s Inquest and what it could reveal or would ever consider doing is touching but misplaced.

    Olnly a full Public Inquiry will examine every aspect that surrounds Kelly’s death. From Campbell leaking Kelly’s name to the Blair correspondence between him and Bush to the Security Servives MOD MI5/6 the US Security Services and JIC.

    Those arguing against a full Public Inquiry are a disgrace to the memory of Kelly.

  106. 106
    I Know What I Like says:

    It’s one o’clock and it’s time for lunch. Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum. When the sun beats down, and I lie on me bench, I can always hear them talk.

  107. 107
    Christy says:

    Lets not put these poor misguided souls into prison because they might become indoctrinated into more crime as a result.
    What a complete and utter load of bo—-ks this is,in this country the majority of people are law abiding and do understand what is right from wrong.
    On the other hand we have a minority,who pursue a life of crime as being normal to their values.
    This is my opinion,in countries where they are completely intolerant of crimminal activity the crime rate is usually low.
    Why should the majority who are law abiding have to live in fear of a minority who will perpetrate whatever crimes against them.
    Governments who are elected by a majority of law abiding citizens are duty bound to protect their citizens,surely this means they must segregate the crimminals from general society until they change their ways and become part of law abiding citizens.
    What I am hearing today suggests that we should go soft on crimminals,does Mr Clarke not understand that the more of these nomarks who are given soft options will react as such and just carry on as normal knowing they will never face an experience in gaol that will make them think long and hard about wether they want to experience it again.
    Maybe he has been converted to Camerons infamous remark to hug a hoodie or maybe as always when money is on the scene common sense goes out the window.

  108. 108
    Diane Abbott says:

    Me in da mood for some riiiiice and peeeeeeeea! I have nothing more to say.

  109. 109
    nell says:

    Presumably you are gordon saying “what troops?” as you try to convince yourself that you have not been responsible for sending thousands of men into two wars without proper equipment and hundreds of men to their death becuse of

    Then again you might be bliar and/or alastairc saying ” we’re going to war because iraq has wmd” ?? – very tongue in cheek wasn’t it??!! What a whopper of a lie!!

    So Dr David Kelly told the truth then?? Funny that he died within days of his revelation about labour’s lies , wasn’t it???

    What a very failed, evil, corrupt government the labour was!!!

  110. 110
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    Hutton was a farce that could not be repeated if the new Government was actually serious about transparency.

    But even a full Coroner’s inquest would at least be a crumb of comfort.

    So where is it ?

  111. 111
    Auntie Flo' says:

    How did the Labour government manage to bypass the mandatory requirement for a Coroner’s Inquest into all equivocal deaths?

    There was no more equivocal death than Dr Kelly’s.

    Coroner’s Inquest now! Followed by full Public Inquiry; hopefully followed by a war crimes tribunal.

    Justice for Dr Kelly!

  112. 112
    Hangem says:


    we might be forgiven for thinking the torys would of taken a harder line with campaign posters like this, but alas it seems the libcons would never of put them inside to start with, so thats all right then

  113. 113
    Liam Fox: British troops will be last to leave Afghanistan says:

    “British troops will be among the last international forces to leave Afghanistan, Liam Fox has said, playing down hopes of an early withdrawal.”

    Why don’t you take some resbonsibility for once for your own nauseating cheerleading of Warmongers you hypocrite.

  114. 114
    Complicity says:

    So where is the Coroner’s Inquest ?

  115. 115
    nell, i tie back my piss flaps to cover my ears says:

    their is only one dead person now or in the future that matters, wavy davy and his troops die for a just cause

  116. 116
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    “Given the absence of any coroner’s inquest and the perpetual secrecy surrounding the post-mortem examination, it is painfully obvious that this matter continues to cry out for a formal, independent and complete review. Ms Pederson fully supports and adds her voice to such an effort. The passage of time (does) not diminish either the public’s interest or the Government’s responsibility to ascertain the full truth, whatever that might be.”

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    What do you mean Ed Milliband looked like a cock for 30 seconds !!! He looks like a cock ALL THE TIME !!!

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Theres always been Ethel…..

  119. 119
    nell says:

    Truth is Hutton WAS a public inquiry.l

    The problem with his public inquiry is that he could bnot command testimony under oath.

    Public Inquiries, set up as Hutton was, can’t demand witnesses appear to give evidence and, even when they choose to appear, the Inquiry cannot demand that their testimony be given under legal oath. Therefore witbnesses can liue, becaise they are not legally perjuring themselves!!! Chilcoot is the same!!!

    Therefore you can lie all you like to a public inquiry , they can’t prosecute you for perjury.

    At a Coroner’s Inquest into Dr David Kelly’s Death witnesses will have to appear, will have to answer questions such as, why was his body moved from the time it was found by walkers to the time it was ‘officially found’ by searchers. The Police will have to explain why they evicted his wife from her home long before his body was found and then stripped wallpaper from the walls of his house.

    Why was the body not even there , in the position in which it was found by those walkers, 45/50 mins before ,when the heat seeking helicopter scanned that exact same position?? Where was it??!!

    Odd, isn’t it? Dr Kelly said we should not go to war because Iraq was very unlikely to have wmd and that the claim (put forward as we now know by alastairc) that iraq had wmd which could be deployed against us in 45 mins. was false. That has long since been proved to be true!!! alastairc has been proved to be a liar hasn’t he??!!

    alastairc, bliar and the no10 spinners went to great lengths to discredit Dr Kelly, even though we now know that he was not only a very honorable man but an extremely truthful one!!!!

    Shockingly! He was suddenly dead! ( suicide they said and backed that up with the hutton whitewash) And then early into the Iraq War we found out that he was right!!!

    We don’t need any more public whitewashes!!!!

    We need a proper legally controlled Coroner’s Inquest where all witnesses must give evidence under oath.

    Let’s just for once listen to alastairc, scrattystarlet, bliar, broon and the rest ( including hoon who threatened to “tell the real story of drdavidkelly when bliar proposed to dump him”) tell their fairystories under oath knowing if they lie, they face charges of perjury!!!!

  120. 120
    Climate Skeptic says:

    Diid King Mong and Fat Al Gore not step into a broom cupboard at the last Climate Junket?

    I guess Ed is eminently qualified to be the next Chief Labour Lunatic.

  121. 121

    as Guidoiz Nell

  122. 122
    Cameron "considering" backing electoral reform says:

    Cameron “considering” backing electoral reform

  123. 123
    Kimpatsu says:

    Fine; we’ll start with you.

  124. 124
    Loada Cobblers says:

    Never mind all that. This is of much more interest, but make sure you are seated comfortably AND get your sick bags out before reading. You have been warned.

    Blair named as Liberty Medal winner

    Tony Blair has been named by the US National Constitution Centre as the winner of its prestigious Liberty Medal for 2010.

    The former prime minister will receive his gong – awarded for “his steadfast commitment to conflict resolution” – from the Centre’s chairman Bill Clinton on September 13 in Philadelphia.

    Previous recipients of the medal include Nelson Mandela, who won jointly with his predecessor as South African president FW de Klerk in 1993, Mikhail Gorbachev, Lech Walesa, US presidents Jimmy Carter, George Bush Sr and Bill Clinton, U2 singer Bono and film-maker Steven Spielberg.

    Announcing the award, which comes with 100,000 US dollars in prize money, the Centre cited Mr Blair’s role in advancing peace in Northern Ireland, his work as an international envoy in the Middle East, his involvement in initiatives to improve governance in Africa and tackle climate change, and the work of the Tony Blair Faith Foundation.

    Mr Clinton said: “It was a privilege to work with my friend Tony Blair to help end 30 years of sectarian violence and broker a lasting peace in Northern Ireland, to stop the killing in and mass exodus from Kosovo, and to develop policies that would improve living conditions for people in both our countries.

    “Now, as a private citizen, Tony continues to demonstrate the same leadership, dedication and creativity in promoting economic opportunity in the Middle East and the resolution of conflicts rooted in religion around the world, and is building the capacity of developing nations to govern honestly and effectively.”

    Thanking the Centre, Mr Blair said: “Freedom, liberty and justice are the values by which this medal is struck. Freedom, liberty and justice are the values which I try to apply to my work on governance in Africa and on preparing the Palestinians for statehood. They are the values which drive the work of my faith foundation as we try to show that people of different faiths can live together constructively in peace and harmony.”

  125. 125
    Drooling perv says:

    I wonder if we can get them to do a mudwrestle for us?

  126. 126
    I'veSeenTheLightKen says:

    Hah we won’t let them out early. because they’ll never see the inside of a prison.

  127. 127
    albacore says:

    Clarke’s just another shagged-out celeb pantomime dame, puffing around Prince Charming Cameron and Cinderella Clegg.
    The Lib/Lab/Con show-biz show must go on!

  128. 128
    Susie says:

    Cool. Exactly the sort of thing I had in mind.

  129. 129

    In fact we were having a laugh. Don’t any of you guys understand the irony of entering through the exit?
    Kenny and me, we’re mad we are.
    And we’re really cool. (I’ve just purchased a Lady Gaga album)

  130. 130
  131. 131
    David Cameron says:

    I am pleased to announce the end of “boom and bust” by the coalition.

    You will now get “bust and bust”

    Serves you right for voting Labout out

  132. 132
    I am Sick says:

    Because she is an attention whore?

  133. 133
    Chris Huhne says:

    My 80s music collection is a bit like my knob;

    Larger-than-life, cheesy and I drunkenly whip it out every year in front of the kids at my annual Christmas party.

  134. 134
    Martin Day says:

    An even better “comedy moment”

    Leicester’s lord mayor has apologised after his trousers fell down during an educational event for schoolchildren.

    Councillor Colin Hall was at Southfields library in the city to take part in a Global Education function.

    When he stood to give a vote of thanks at Tuesday’s event his trousers came loose and fell.

    A spokesman for Mr Hall said: “The lord mayor has offered his deepest apologies to those attending the event for any offence caused by the accident.”

  135. 135
    Labour screws the country then blames everyone else says:

    Did not that fuckwit Brown do the same thing?

    Meanwhile over at the Guardanista the plebs are really bemoaning about the jobless and the wicked Tory led government. These mental retards still don’t get it do they? Yes it is the same as the last time the Tories came to power because their wonderful Labour Party they all support has totally and utterly fucked the country again… JUST LIKE LAST TIME !!!! (But even worse)

    Utter imbecilic Twats…


  136. 136
    Ghostbuster says:

    so your just haunting the place then huh? Numbnut

  137. 137
    AckBladder says:

    Maybe I misunderstood what everyone else was saying and we are actually in the middle of a massive boom.

    In truth though perhaps though we are actually so bust we are bustier than a busters bust in a buster.

  138. 138
    the venerable bede says:

    Why ? She’s not a M*sl*m is she ?

  139. 139
    Poppy in the sand says:

    Possibly but just remember who started this illegal war

  140. 140
    Blazel Hears says:


  141. 141
    Herr Comrade Herman von Rumpy Pumpy, zer Kommandant der EUSSR, unt zer Master of zer UK arschlochen says:

    Heil! das schwanzlutscheren der GB! You nothing are compared to zer glorious beauty of zer EUSSR!

    Hier ist yor Master – Hermann von Rumpey-Pumpey! Herr Camertwat meinen deputy ist!

    Unt vee hav von zer var ova das plumpen Britischer Svinehunds whoo do not to our vill bend!

    Unt to proov it, vee shall you irritate!

    Fur instance, no longer vill you bread rolls in zer ‘dozen’ buy!

    Or zer eggs!

    It ist our vill – unt make it happen vee vill!


    Get back to yor peasantry – svinehunden!




  142. 142
    cant hunter says:

    I see the BBC gave way to temptation last night on NN and a debate on the recent budgets possible affect on employment featured our old friend, the one and only, David Blanchflower. I missed the first part of the exchange, but still heard Danny (as he was mistakenly and hilariously called by one contributor) Boy demand that he be heard in complete and utter silence. He was speaking from his campus site in Dartmouth and, if it wasn’t for the impression, possibly false, that this was his first BBC outing since May 7th, the suspicion is that a special transatlantic studio has been established for him. I still think he’s mostly of interest because of his weird divorce claim.

  143. 143
    The right-on insufferable Mnsgr. Revd. Phoney Bliar, ***, **** + ******, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:


    Here’s sumfing you’ll wanna read! Heard the noos?

    I’ve won a medal!

    Which is only right!

    It’s coz I’m worf it!


    But hey – trust me! – I’m a straight kinda air-headed-git-ar-playing guy.

  144. 144
    50 Calibre says:

    Who pays these idiots?

  145. 145
    50 Calibre says:

    He should part way through serving his sentence for war crimes by now, the lieing toad…

  146. 146
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    whats one of them?

    I only know about “bog standard comp gym”

  147. 147
    Sir William Waad says:

    My footman is better trained than Mr Miliband’s and would never make such an error.

  148. 148
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Brillo has a glint in his eyes, maybe dreaming of Uganda.

  149. 149

    No, will just ban you. Life is too short.

  150. 150
    Sir William Waad says:

    There’s a Katie Price joke in there somewhere.

  151. 151
    Nick Clegg says:

    I lay her back on the bed, gently kissed her stomach and then slowly undid her jeans.

    And that’s when her cock fell out.

    I won’t be going back to Thailand, that’s for fucking sure.

  152. 152
    AC1 says:

    Actually I’m not an advocate of capital punishment as the State has an appalling record of making mistakes.

  153. 153
    Give us a break FFS says:


  154. 154
    AC1 says:

    Robin Hood re-leaved the taxman of his ill gotten gains and returned them back to the people.

  155. 155
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Laughable. Has he collected his Congressional Medal of Honour yet? And his Best in Show medal from Cruft’s [apostrophe advise sought]?

  156. 156
    AC1 says:

    The labour alternative was bust then Bankrupt then anarchy.

  157. 157
    AC1 says:


  158. 158
    AC1 says:

    They weren’t job losses they were just disguised unemployment benefit claimants.

    There was no market demand for their product. They were just bribed to vote labour with OPM.

  159. 159
    Ed Balls says:

    How far has the FTSE dropped since th ecoalition assumed power ??

    Yet another bad day in the office

    FTSE 100 4838.79down -78.08 -1.59%

  160. 160
    PD77 says:

    Yeah AC1 I think you’ll find he missed the apostrophe after Robin, plus Robbing has 2 bs but being a hoodie he was probably educated under a Labour government so he really is the victim here.

  161. 161
    Harrowdown Hill says:

    So you think Cameron would set up another public whitewash.

    You’re probably right. I certainly don’t trust him.

    BTW, where is this Coroners Inquiry ?

  162. 162
    In your wardrobe says:

    Over the garden wall, cuckoo to you

  163. 163
    Mr Lewis says:

    I’m just a lawnmower, you can tell me by the way I walk

  164. 164
    Sally "I'm Free" Inman says:

    So Englanders are foreigners in England? Educayshun Educhaysun Educhaysun

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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