June 24th, 2010

+ + + Gordon Sighted in Westminster + + +


  1. 1
    School for Scoundrels says:



  2. 2
    MisterE says:

    He can see!?!?



  3. 3
    Oh and by the way says:

    Humiilated into showing his face.


  4. 4
    pp says:

    You idiot Guido! See what your campaign has done now?…

    How much more will we have to pay him never to show his face again?


    • 13
      I Squiggle says:

      Agree! See what you’ve done Guido? You’ve humiliated him into re-appearing before us. I for one would have been quite glad to have never seen his mendacious gurning ever again.


    • 19
      what's that sound ? says:


      it’s a deflating balloon full of shit


      • 28
        Engineer says:

        Erm…..I know this a bit picky, but if the balloon was full of shit, it wouldn’t deflate. It might leak, though.


        • 31
          Oh and by the way says:

          Eng…. just what do you think of of all day when you can distinguish the sound of a balloon deflating and leaking sh*t? Just what kind of engineer are you?


          • The Penguin says:

            A shit engineer, obviously. Someone I knew had a job grading th eturds at a sewage plant. He said it was OK apart from the smell, but some days he felt he was just going through the motions.

            The Penguin.


          • Engineer says:

            The study and understanding of fluid flow is a very important part of engineering. How air flows over an aircraft wing, how nitric acid flows down a pipe, how milled flour flows in a hopper (or jams up in the hopper – best avoided).

            We engineers have to understand these things, or aircraft would fall out of the sky, the hoppers would jam up, and the acid wouldn’t get to where it was wanted.

            It would be fair to state that the study of balloons and shit is a niche one; indeed, I know of no research in that line. However, by extrapolation of existing knowledge, the behaviour of a balloon full of gas would be different to the behaviour of a balloon full of lumpy semi-liquid solids.

            Pity the poor sod who has to undertake the experimental investigation, though….


          • Oh and by the way says:

            indeed… or blow the sh*tty balloon up or allow the contents to excrete during the experiment.

            Just what would the name of the niche area of study of sh*te filling balloons be called?


          • Engineer says:



          • Gordon Brown says:

            Is it “economics”?


        • 58
          Sir William Waad says:

          It could be gassy poo. There would be a similar effect to BP’s gassy oil, a burst of noxious gas followed by an unstoppable surge of filthy liquid.


        • 60
          Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

          What if the balloon was full of fermenting diarrhoea? Then it would deflate and leak. I think.


          • Engineer says:

            The engineering challenge would then be to develop a safety valve and scrubber system to safely vent and treat the off-gas whist maintaining containment of the solids. Or liquids.

            Or perhaps it might just be wiser to move a few hundred yards upwind…


          • Unsworth says:

            Scrubber System, eh? Ooh er.


          • Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

            That sounds easy enough. Do you think there’s a market for it?


      • 90
        what's that sound ? says:

        it’s the sound of anal twattery


        • 109
          The anthropogenic Philosopher says:

          If there is a pile of steaming shit in the woods and there is no one there to observe it. Does it smell ?


  5. 5
    Terrible But True says:

    Does he need to be there again to collect more money, then?


  6. 6
    the last quango in paris says:

    no – that was mr bean


  7. 8
    Praguetory says:

    Now that England have got through to the last 16 has Gordon lost interest in the World Cup?


  8. 10
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Hope to fuck Jonah doesn’t back balls in the losers leadership bid…


    • 30
      Labour, 1900-2010. RIP. says:

      I hope he does.

      Labour (Blair/Brown/Balls/Millipedes/Harman/Prescott/Blears/Mandy/Badger et al) betrayed British workers. Any Labour leadership containing any of that bunch is contaminated and will lose the next GE.


  9. 11
    Oh and by the way says:

    “Gordon entered the chamber briefly for Defra questions:”

    Was he disorientated and confused as all the ‘opposition’ were on the wrong side of the house?


  10. 12
    Sarah Tweet says:

    back at laptop today until I get to go for picnic in the park to meet my newest small nephew visiting from Australia *really excited*

    31 minutes ago via web


    • 85
      the last quango in paris says:

      all the way from Australia and she takes him for a crappy picnic in the park, which if in Kirkcaldy, will be about -15 degrees.


  11. 14
    Sarah Tweet says:

    @Jodatu @htclaytor GB has already been to HoC, and here again today, but also working hard in his constituency – good to have him there too

    30 minutes ago via web in reply to Jodatu


    • 20
      Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

      “Working hard in his constituency”?

      What? Doing The Sun crossword?

      1 across: First letter of the alphabet, 1 letter.

      Gordon: “och.. errr.. erm..give me a minute, it’ll come.. erm..”


    • 54
      Southern Softy says:

      He really is G’od – he’s all over the ‘kin place like horse shit.


    • 94
      Unsworth says:

      Note: ‘here again’. That and ‘also working hard in his constituency – good to have him there, too’

      i.e. ‘his’ constituency is fuck-all to do with her. She’s staying in the South East of England whilst he stays in Scotchland- yet wasn’t she only too keen to be seen working alongside him in strange places like Bolton when he was PM?

      By my calculations he’s ‘visited’ her about twice since the elections and then buggered off back north.


  12. 17
    Trinaussie says:

    Hope he doesn,t start giving his support to the England side!


  13. 18
    P. Doff says:

    “Jonah’s back”

    Whale oil beef hooked!


  14. 21
    gone fuckin mental says:

    proberly submitting his expenses


  15. 23
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Perhaps he’s back to sort this out:


  16. 25
    A German says:

    Now we want to know ,,were and why?


  17. 26
    Praguetory says:

    Appalling turnout from Labour in the Chamber.


  18. 27
    Penfold says:

    It were a chimera.

    He’s back at the Bunker nursing his grudges and plotting his revenge and return.
    His role model will be Sauron, now where’s that bloody ring………


    • 34
      In a more lucid moment, Gordon says:

      Forget ring, key to number 10 is my prescioussss! Myyy presciousss key! My Progressive Coalition will bring me my key!


    • 48
      Sir William Waad says:

      I wonder what Gordon’s interest could be in the Department for the Elimination of Farming and Rural Annihilation? Could he be thinking of putting his experience at leading a flock of sheep to practical use?


  19. 32
    David Laws says:


    I’m still missing. Catch me if you can boys.


  20. 33
    She's a lady says:

    Anyone seen Lady Hermon in the Commons lately?


  21. 35
    Nick Clegg says:

    I won’t be having sex with my wife for the next 6 days. Period.


  22. 37
    gone fuckin mental says:

    wondered if anyone talked to the loser ?


  23. 38
    Cynic says:

    Now that he’s heard the pension plans he’s probably wanted to come to work and be re-invigorated


  24. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    I look forward to presenting the new Queen’s Speech in Parliament and outlining my government’s plans.


  25. 41
    Gordon Brown's Press Officer says:

    MPs are braced for fresh embarrassment today when the latest tranche of their expenses are published.

    Itemised claims including accommodation and office running costs from the second and third quarters of 2009-10 are being released by the House of Commons.

    The material will be made available on a searchable database, rather than through copies of actual receipts as has previously been the case.

    Details of communications allowance spending from 2008-9 are also being published, but the disclosure of incidental expenses from the same period has been delayed due to “technical problems”, according to the Commons authorities


  26. 43
    Lord Grytpype-thynne says:

    When the going gets tough the tough… claim their expenses


  27. 44
    gone fuckin mental says:

    o/T are there any polls out after the budget?


  28. 45
    Mrs Duffy says:

    He has not visited me in Rochdale either!


  29. 51
    Govt-By-Cluster-Fuck says:

    Love the pic Guido.

    “This content does not appear to be working”

    Applies perfectly to McSnotty .


  30. 59
    gone fuckin mental says:

    I love the Queen


  31. 66
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Just goes to show that Brown cannot face responsibility, rather than turn up for The Emergency Budget, when the public, and his constituents expected him to be there as Boy George lays into Labour’s hopeless economic policy of squander and spend on the never never, he turns up for something minor.

    Perhaps the Hunt has gone off to wish Andy Murray good luck in his straight set defeat at Wimbledon today.

    But has anyone got film evidence of him turning up today, or is this another little white lie, just like his claim to be jogging three miles a day.


  32. 68
    Addsup says:

    Photo agents will pay good money for post election pics of Gordon.


  33. 69
    Bust says:

    You have to admit,he was a great Prime Minister.He left his mark on the Country and his legacy will last for decades.


  34. 70
    Colin Hendry says:

    Gordon was my financial guru.


  35. 82
    Proud Tory says:

    I always thought this blog was influential but I’m shocked it’s THIS influential. When it manages to shame a former prime minister into appearing, that says something.


  36. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mr Speaker, this morning I had meetings with my egg soldiers. In addition to my duties in this house, I shall be having a lie down this afternoon.


  37. 88
    Gordon's Nursie Nursie says:

    Come now Gordon, time to get back on the ‘special bus’ – now wrap these sleeves behind your back while I up fasten the buckles.

    Good laddie, now does my brave leader who saved the world want a snot flavoured ice cream…?


  38. 92
    David Laws says:

    Don’t worry boys. I’m hiding so you can spend all your time looking for me now.


  39. 93
    Twitcher says:

    Now that the Great Scotch McBustard has been sighted I am looking forward with much anticipation to the glorious twelfth.


  40. 96
    Dave Griffiths says:

    You’re a bit obsessed Guido. Leave the poor guy alone and move on.


  41. 99
    The utter criminal says:

    The utter excrement that is Gordon Brown.

    He should be hanged drawn and then quartered for his crimes.


  42. 100
    Bonnie Gordon's noo awa' but where we doona ken says:

    Police have to-day denied that they are seeking a stocky glowering individual with greying hair and one eye seen muttering in broad Scots to himself in the vicinity of Portcullis House.

    Members of Parliament,Media and Public have however been warned not to approach this individual but to advise the nearest police officer immediately if sighted

    A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police for “operational reasons”refused to be drawn on allegations that the individual is wanted in connection with impersonating a MP. Downing Street has apparently been placed in “lockdown” mode as a precaution as the individual is believed to be last heard muttering…”I AM the Prime Minister !” and was last seen trying to get into a government Jaguar parked outside Queen Anne’s Gate before running off when challenged


  43. 102
    gone fuckin mental says:



  44. 105
    GrimeLord says:

    Browns not in Westminster, he’s here in Hampshire helping me put up a fence. it’s cash in hand so it won’t appear on his expenses. nod, nod, wink, wink


  45. 107
    Flash Gordon says:

    Its being a c/unt that gets me up in the morning.


  46. 110
    Cassandrina says:

    What are the odds that he will be resurrected as a born again something or other, and ask forgiveness for his past and extensive crimes against the British and especially English people?


  47. 111
    Baddieland Skinner says:

    Its coming home
    Its coming home
    Its coming home
    Jonah’s coming home


  48. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Halfon-doe for quick promotion if Cameron has any sence.


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