Where’s Gordon?™ Obsessing about the World Cup Apparently

Once upon a time there was a man who claimed he woke up every day to “fight for a fairer Britain”. Britain may have said no, but he was returned overwhelmingly by one small part of it to represent and fight for them for the next five years. But this man is refusing to represent them and has now gone missing. Finally we learn he has abandoned his responsibilities and is sticking two fingers up at representative democracy to instead obsessively watch every single World Cup match on telly. While he rocks back and forward in his underwear, ticking off the games on his  free Daily Mirror World Cup pull-out wallchart, the taxpayer is picking up the tab.

Gordon was quick to head down to Parliament to sign on for his cheques, so that for an hour and a half of football he is set to make around £45+ per match, or just over £3000 for the sixty-four game tournament. Find Guido any sports fan who wouldn’t love to be paid to sit around watching football. Thousands would have gone to the World Cup if it wasn’t for the cost and yet the taxes that deprived them of the trip are paying for Gordon to watch. Where’s the “fairer Britain” there?

If Gordon Brown needs time to reflect, plot revenge, write his book, find himself, detox, or whatever it is he is doing all alone in Scotland – fine – he should not expect to be paid for the pleasure by the taxpayer. There are 93,272 constituents in Kirkcaldy who are completely disenfranchised from the political system while their elected representative broods in a darkened room. Brown needs to make a decision – walk into the sunset and break completely from the House of Commons, or engage in the job he was elected to carry out and is paid to do. Guido is one of those inclined to say Brown is bonkers, but while this situation is allowed to continue the taxpayer is being taken for a fool. It is time to blow the final whistle on Gordon’s sulky withdrawal from parliament. He should either resign or “get on with the job”…

*Fag-packet maths: 252 working days a year. 9 till 5 = 8 hours per day = 2016 hours per year. £64k divided hourly = £32 per hour = £48 per game. And that doesn’t include expenses.


Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Former Miliband guru Arnie Graf reveals Labour’s disconnect with the working class:

“On one of my trips to the U.K. in the autumn of 2013, I bumped into one of Ed’s strategists in Portcullis House. He asked me if I was assisting the staff on Ed’s trip that was to take place in a few days to one of the regions. I told him that I did not have knowledge of his planned trip.

He told me that Ed was going to give a talk at the region’s annual fund raising dinner and that prior to the dinner he had invited the media to join him at a local coffee shop to listen to a conversation he planned to have with a minimum wage worker. The point of the conversation was to show how difficult it was for a minimum wage worker to get on in life.

There was only one problem. No one had been able to locate a minimum wage worker for Ed to talk with.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

WATCH: Ted Heath’s Whip Boasts of Paedo Cover-Up WATCH: Ted Heath’s Whip Boasts of Paedo Cover-Up
Owen Jones: The Right Are Scared of Corbyn Owen Jones: The Right Are Scared of Corbyn
Burnham Could Quit After 5 Years Burnham Could Quit After 5 Years
Burnham’s £1,000 Armani Suit Burnham’s £1,000 Armani Suit
Edward Heath Child Abuse Probe Edward Heath Child Abuse Probe
Andy Burnham Doesn’t Know 7 x 8 = 56 Andy Burnham Doesn’t Know 7 x 8 = 56

Watson Forgets His Own Cock-Up Watson Forgets His Own Cock-Up
Corbyn’s Counter-Revolutionary Corbyn’s Counter-Revolutionary
How Diane Remembers Jezza How Diane Remembers Jezza
Abby Turns Fandy Abby Turns Fandy
Just Good Comrades? Just Good Comrades?
ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH: LAS VEGAS EDITION ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH: LAS VEGAS EDITION
DIANE ABBOTT FORGETS SHE DIDN’T THINK CORBYN COULD WIN DIANE ABBOTT FORGETS SHE DIDN’T THINK CORBYN COULD WIN
NATWEST’S ONLINE BANKING CRASHES ON PAYDAY NATWEST’S ONLINE BANKING CRASHES ON PAYDAY
OWEN JONES: LIE-RA OWEN JONES: LIE-RA
GMB UNION SUE UBER GMB UNION SUE UBER
Who Will Be UKIP’s Mayoral Candidate? Who Will Be UKIP’s Mayoral Candidate?
Meanwhile, in Venezuela… Meanwhile, in Venezuela…
TWITTER EMPLOYEES JUMP FROM SINKING SHIP TWITTER EMPLOYEES JUMP FROM SINKING SHIP
Times Trolls Burnham Times Trolls Burnham
CHAMPAGNE SOCIALISTS BACK CORBYN CHAMPAGNE SOCIALISTS BACK CORBYN
SINN FEIN SHOULD “TAKE INSPIRATION” FROM ARMED UPRISING SINN FEIN SHOULD “TAKE INSPIRATION” FROM ARMED UPRISING
ALL CHANGE AT GREEN PARTY HQ ALL CHANGE AT GREEN PARTY HQ
I Can’t Believe He’s Not Tory! I Can’t Believe He’s Not Tory!
UBER DESTROYING RACIST TAXI INDUSTRY UBER DESTROYING RACIST TAXI INDUSTRY
Could Labour Fall Apart Under Corbyn? Could Labour Fall Apart Under Corbyn?
Hilarious Prankster Hilarious Prankster
GREENPEACE LIVID GREENPEACE LIVID
Did Labour Leadership Candidates Smoke Dope? Did Labour Leadership Candidates Smoke Dope?