June 7th, 2010

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Nick2 says:

    So, who’s the bloke with white hair supposed to be?


    • 4
      A shot in the dark says:

      Lord Tebbit?


    • 7
      English John says:

      Michael Howard


      • 61
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        But surely Michael Howard still thinks it.

        Not what he “used to be thinking”.


    • 24
      Maggie's Drawers says:

      Enoch Powell is it?


    • 26
      Mr Ned says:

      The bloke on the left is Ed Balls, not a bad caricature either. This is in response to Ed’s sudden conversion to being in favour of tight immigration rules and he claims that he warned Brown about the levels of immigration being to high.

      No idea who the bloke on the right is supposed to be.


      • 34
        NotaSheep says:

        The rank hypocrisy of Ed Balls’ remarks about immigration has staggered me. Was this the man who was Gordon Brown’s right hand man for so many years? Was this man in the Cabinet (or around it) whilst decisions were taken that increased immigration from both within and outside the EU? Was this the man who was part of a Labour government that tried to shut down debate on immigration for so may years by insinuating that anyone discussing the matter was a racist, including Michael Howard at the 2005 general election?

        Also is Ed Balls seriously criticising the Coalition government for not doing something in one month that Labour did nothing to address in 13 years?


        • 58
          Backwoodsman says:

          Its not like the guy has had a reality by-pass , he really does think people are too stupid to remember his position during the last five years when he was in government.
          His other classic is the ‘ we lost because we didn’t communicate what we were doing’ meme – when their entire focus during their regime , was a double helping of spin and let the actualite take care of itself !


    • 32
      Ed balls says:

      OK give up. who is the loke on the right?


    • 41
      Balls' latest promo says:

      Goodness knows why he thinks this awful performance makes him a Labour leader


      • 56
        trigger stan says:

        slow witted and plodding, he’ll make a perfect leader


        • 150
          Ballstoyoutoo says:

          No, please. How could we stand listening to him every Wednesday at PMQs? He is even worse than the one-eyed saviour of the world. And the way he lollops all over the place is so irritating, not to mention his musty wife.


      • 59
        Liar Byrne says:

        Fcuk me, that’s dire. Truly desperate stuff.

        Balls, you are the weakest link, goodbye.


        • 120
          Dig for Victory says:

          Whilst over on Labour List this video is shown as evidence of Balls’ greatness! With the comment;

          ‘Thanks for putting up those videos.
          They show Ed Balls making valid points with confidence and humour, and a self-deprecating touch (“I don’t know the answers myself”). A side to him I didn’t know before.
          These should provide a corrective to the cheap personal jibes against him (blinky, etc).’


          • Peter Grimes says:

            I guess that it is piles of shit that you dig in! Keep it up – ZaNuLieBor left Augean stables full of it!


      • 67
        The Court of Public Opinion says:

        There speaks a loser who knows he’ll never be part of a government again, no matter what the outcome of his comedy party leadership act. Loser Byrnes note, openly laughing at the incoming party having wasted all the money, will come back to haunt them for the next 2 terms at least. People thought Bigotgate was a vote costing gaff – you ain’t seen nothing yet.

        Anyway, seeing as you so like questions could the Right Honourable gentleman tell us who put in a claim for £33 for poppy wreaths? As a bonus, tell us who reinforced this 2 fingered salute to those who fought wars to ensure he was thus free to so take the piss, by poncing about in a Nazi outfit?


      • 135
        alan bread says:

        Dave’ll shit himself at the thought of coming against this sort of stuff at PMQs


      • 147
        Anonymous says:

        The guy sounds as if he stoned out his mind, his speach is so dis-jointed and he just seems unable to stand upright and in one place.


    • 63
      Anonymous says:

      Perhaps Balls is making a play for the anti Jewish vote in Zanu, seeing as his 2 opponents are the children of Nazi era refugees.


    • 107
      Up sh1t creek says:

      All hail Ed Balls, who after the kicking in the general election claims to have warned everyone that x,y,z will happen if the Labour party did not change their ways. How convincing of Ed.

      Ed however continues the lie (like many in Labour), that continuing to pour money into the public sector will secure “the recovery”, when it is only the private sector which has the ability to grow the economy, because it’s the private sector that generates wealth, not the public sector.


      • 127
        The Court of Public Opinion says:

        No-one likes a loser, Ed.


        • 151
          Ballstoyoutoo says:

          Who was it in Labour that said there was nobody who could compete with Gorgon to be leader, and that he was the only one capable of leading them all to greatness? just before they lost the election. Was it Mad hattie or Johnson or even Balls?


  2. 2
    English John says:

    Bum Face has never had a coherent thought in it’s life. Go back to your constituency and prepare to lose.


  3. 3
    Ed Balls says:

    I agree with Nick Griffin


  4. 5
    Welcome To Londanistan says:

    Alllllllllllllahhhhhhhhh Ackbar time for morning prayers everyone


    • 14
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Oh fuck, not again.


      • 112
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I wonder how they cope in the Norwegian city of Hammerfest, the most northern city in the world, where night can last a little longer than 62 days.

        Do they get a “morning prayer” craving?


        • 129
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          Never mind that! If one is a morning constitutionalist (a la Urban Dic), then 62 days is going to be hell on earth.


      • 152
        Ballstoyoutoo says:

        Five times a day. Don’t forget your prayer mat.


        • 158
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          I’m a five a day man myself. Or I used to be when I had the opportunities.


  5. 8
    MP who owns two houses in the posh neighbourhoods with police protection and earns 100k+ says:






    • 25
      Maggie's Drawers says:

      Immigrants will vote for us, as long as we keep the postal vote.


    • 82
      Dig for Victory says:


      Is that why socialists only drink Earl Grey?


    • 116
      Tony Blair says:

      Criticising immigrants is wacist, but lying about them having WMD and then bombing their country and killing 100,000 of them is “making the big important decisions” and “the right thing to do.”


      • 155
        Ballstoyoutoo says:

        Well it made you lots of money to keep your old hag in bad taste, didn’t it?


    • 153
      Ballstoyoutoo says:



  6. 9
    Doggie says:

    Yip Yip


  7. 10
    • 12
      Hindsight makes everyone a genius says:

      I think he has realised if this country had sense and had stricter immigration policies oiks like the Millibands would not be stopping his leadership bid.


    • 13
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Really helps to destroy Jonah and himself at one hit.


    • 60
      Maladroit Labour Chump ( & trainee bigot ) says:

      So am I a bigot or am I not a bigot ??


      • 88
        Fully qualified Bigot (got me NVQs 'n that innit?) says:

        You are entitled to become a Bigot of the First Order the moment you start to see and say things how they really are.

        You won’t be popular though.


  8. 11
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Looks like the candidates in the race for losers are lurching back to their roots. Adopting the policies of their sister-party, the BNP, shows both the desperation and the disconnection from reality for which the Post-Gordon Labour party is rapidly becoming famous.


    • 23
      Anonymous says:

      Nah, the liblabcons will do nothing to remove the millions of foreigners who shouldn’t be here. They will be removed though.


      • 121
        Next stop, Holland says:

        Apparently, Cameron will announce tomorrow that he’s turning off the benefit tap.

        That ought to see Heathrow’s departure lounge choked to capacity from tomorrow afternoon onwards.


    • 27
      albacore says:

      This blog works on two levels: the scat humour that earns Fawkes all his revenue; and the underlying running joke.
      What joke?
      The servility of the lowly curate that declares the Lib/Lab/Con bad egg excellent in parts.


  9. 16
    The bookies are basically stealing candy from babies says:

    Which tits have put money on England to win the world cup?

    Go on fess up.


  10. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Still shit. Ditch these rubbish cartoons.


    • 38

      People like the ritual of “who is it?”

      Despite the fact that only the most woefully politically ignorant wouldn’t immediately infer who the bloke on the right might be even if he was wearing a burka, people like to moan that they can’t figure out who it is / complain it isn’t a photograph.

      It is important to let them vent on a Monday morning, even the ones who are pretending / actually stupid.

      Guido likes to give them what they want and knows it pays to never underestimate his audience.


      • 44
        Lord Charles says:



      • 50
        relic of the past says:

        It can’t be Tebbit, because this chap is smiling.

        Sorry, Guido; it isn’t immediately apparent and we’re not pretending.

        Rich and Marks have delusions of adequacy …


      • 52

        There’s something of the night about the figure on the right, Is it Ann Widdecombe


      • 70
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        “….. vent on a Monday morning”?

        Just a few weeks ago, I was venting fifty times or more a day!!!!!


      • 87
        Engineer says:

        Michael Howard in a burqa? There’s a thought to conjure with….


      • 91
        Bigot says:

        Go for it Guido – the neuroe nuro neerons – oh shit – the brane cells need the stimalus.


      • 104
        Guido Runs A Care In The Community Programme for Right Wing Morons says:

        Guido, you certainly can’t be accused of underestimating your audience.
        You do it on a daily basis.
        And I have whittled down the guy on the right to be either Lord Ashcroft or Trevor Philips.
        Do I win a T-shirt?


        • 122
          AC1 says:

          Marxism fails everywhere it’s tried.

          Maybe you should look into Dunning Kruger?


          • Mad Hattie Harman's Parasite Party says:

            Marxism most definitely does not fail.

            How quickly you forget that in the course of 13 years, My Party (mostly the women in it) brought Utopia to these shores. We achieved every one of our 1997 election manifesto commitments. No crime, brilliant education, full employment, NHS dentists for all, an ethical foreign policy. British jobs for British workers.

            Everyone was happy.

            But then the pig-ignorant public voted us out, and look at the state of Britain now, four weeks later, under the so-called governance of the do-nothing Tories. I mean, have you seen the size of their budget deficit, FFS?


  11. 19
    Doc Trough says:

    Bloke’s a polyp. Needs a career change. Ringpiece Merkin maybe….?


  12. 20
    For Whiter Than White Sheets says:

    Use Daz


  13. 21
    Anonymous says:

    the damage is now done .labour traitors to the UK.


  14. 29
    50 Calibre says:

    He’s telling porkies again. He doesn’t think.


  15. 31
    David Cameron PM says:

    And I put it to the British Public that yes the times ahead will be tough, you will have to dig deep and the impacts of the cuts will be enormous but we will still have plenty of money to send to the Palestians, Africans, Indians, Chinese and any other beggar and freeloader who wants a free handout.


  16. 33
    Sarah Tweet says:

    Top Woodenism #2:Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful


    • 43
      Ho Ho Ho says:

      God had a good old laugh when Gordon was in the line for talent then.


    • 62
      Sarah Twatter says:

      Piffle is Twatter-given. Be assured.


    • 94
      The 'Man' (sic) who ruined Britain, - and has the nerve to show his ugly face says:

      Aye! – ma talunt knaes nae end!

      Ar’ sav’d tha wuld ye ken.

      An’ nuthn’s ma fult ye un’stn.

      Ah – nus – wull tha’ be ma marnin pricky in ma botty?

      will ye nae put ya’ finga in ma botty too – like ye did wi’ tha littl’ slippy thingy?


    • 99
      The twitterings of a loon's wife says:

      I thought this was a wind up until I checked the link………..has the woman totally gone off her trolley or is it being cooped up 24/7 with “her hero” that has finally driven her over the edge or has she been sampling Gordon’s latest medication when visiting him ?


    • 134
      Sir Keith Joseph's Preserved Pulsing Head says:

      Hold on a minute… Just want to be certain I’ve got this…..
      So talent is God given -right?

      So all those people who rise to the top of society and suceed – got nothing at all to do with parents who can play the school catchment area system or who can pay for their kids to go to schools like Eton?
      Those people born in poverty are there not because the system grinds them into it but because GOD gives them their place?

      I always thought as much!!!!!

      Well why did your hubby waste ALL that time and energy ( and my money) working against God’s plan?


  17. 36
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Perfect Rich & Mark. Exactly right. This man Balls is a load of shit, isn’t he? Or is it this man Shit is a load of balls? Either way…


  18. 37
    Martin Day says:

    Another grim start to the week for the FTSE

    FTSE 100 5062.07down -63.93 -1.25%

    The sooner this coalition goes the better.

    They haven’t got a clue


  19. 40
    A Labour MP says:

    The Millibands rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight


  20. 42
    Red Rum says:

    This cartoon reminds me that it takes two chumps to perform a pantomime horse.

    I guess the real question is which one of the two is the horse’s arse?


  21. 45
    The Penguin says:

    So What?

    The Penguin


  22. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Ball’s has eyes like two pigs’ ringpieces.


    • 90
      Engineer says:

      True enough. Unfortunately, the cartoon doesn’t fully capture the real, vomit-inducing ugliness of the subject. The representation of Michael Howard isn’t bad, though.


  23. 47
  24. 49
    GWAE says:

    Browns only cut was the next PM’s Salary

    But a nice severence pay package for Labour Ministers!


    “LONDON: In Britain, ministers are paid compensation even if they are booted out of office – over a 100 former Labour ministers have been named to
    receive a total of 1.2 million pounds in redundancy payments.

    Topping the list is ex-attorney general Baroness Scotland, entitled to 27,815 pounds. She is the one who got caught in a row over employing an illegal immigrant as her cleaner. Lord Peter Mandelson, the former business secretary, gets the second-highest payment despite being twice forced to resign from the cabinet over scandals. He will receive 26,589 pounds – equivalent to the average annual pay in Britain.

    Gordon Brown will get 22,000 pounds. His final package is yet to be decided because, as a former prime minister, he is technically entitled to a more ­generous scheme of an annual ‘pension’ worth half his 88,000 pounds government salary…………”


    • 57
      lolol says:

      I hope these redundancy payments are taxable on anything over £30,000 as it would be unfair to us slobs if the HMRC let them get away tax free,I mean all these Liebour slogans and a number of them spouting fairness.


    • 72
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Dave should scale these payments down to the same percentage as McBroon scaled down PMs pay before the election.

      Then he can scale it down again by the 5% that the cabinet recently took.

      That way, the recipients can rue their lack of fibre in standing up to the mad Jock.


  25. 51
    lolol says:

    So what’s policy wonks tell him immigration is the top thing in the public’s mind
    and this will help him be der fuhrer of the most currupt,lieing,democracy stealing,corrupt laws making,wmd lieing,high tax,job losing,two faced Liebour party,wow we do have a high flyer,what a position to hold if your two faced ,lieing,corrupt,high tax,job losing MP’s pretend to vote you in,just think the public will throw flowers at his feet in adoration of and the rise in power of this deity.


    • 74
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      It is almost certain that you have caught the mood of the public. However, do not apply for a job as a BEEB pundit as they are still in denial that a General Election ever took place.


  26. 55
    Adios nulab. says:

    Is there anybody in the labour party who is consistent? They really are the worst bunch of mediocre cretins this country has ever had as a government. Do we really care what they think now? They are out of power and hopefully for ever.


    • 71
      Liar Byrne says:

      There will be many more Damascene conversions as Liebour flip-flop around trying to ingratiate themselves with anyone who cares to listen.

      Meanwhile, I suppose I ought to apologies for leaving the Country’s finances in such a terrible state. No, I haven’t been converted to complete honesty and I don’t think I ever will be !


  27. 65
    Liar Byrne says:

    O/T; Nearly drove off the road this morning. Heard on the radio that Herman van Rumpuy wants to see the UK Budget before it is announced on 22nd June !!

    Thankfully, Cameron and Osborne have told him to fuck off.


    • 73
      • 77
        Great British Public says:


      • 145
        snurgling says:

        It was bad enough that the last government would announce policies during chat shows. To have a “foreign power” expecting to have a right to a first look and then expecting to have input is even worse.

        As for the 5.80% budget increase. Why on Earth should the EU have an increase when all its members are seeking reductions in their domestic budgets? What savings or efficiencies are the EU implementing to meet the current financial situation? There is also the “small” matter of the EU’s account not being signed off by auditors. To my mind no member State should be obliged to up its contribution until such time as the accounts are duly audited.


  28. 65
  29. 75
    Ed says:

    Has Cameron sacked Caroline Spivman yet?


  30. 76
    snurgling says:

    I do wonder about the political capabilities/memories of some here. Maybe they are just too young. Michael Howard’s “Are you thinking what I’m thinking” election slogan was only 5 years ago.


    • 85
      TGF says:

      At least half of British adults have been dumbed-down and infantilised as can be seen from some of the comments on here.


      • 92
        lolol says:

        I agree with you 83 TGF but as you haven’t expanded the reasons why you think this and have just thrown the comment in just to get a bite ,well you have a bite please expand your reasons as some of us dumbed-down and infantilised of Guido’s windowlickers would like to know,thank you in anticipation.


    • 114
      Nick2 says:

      OK, I do remember it now. But it was a lousy slogan & instantly forgettable, which is why I did.


  31. 79
    Ranting Nat says:

    O/T The twat Campbell is now on ‘Start the Week’ with Andrew Marr promoting his new book FFS!! How can this twat get so much air time? What hold has he got on the BBC? Isn’t it time that he and the rest of the unelected New Labour gentlemen were given the boot from the free publicity given by us taxpayers via the BB fucking C!!


    • 86
      Slotgob says:

      He just wants to be half as rich as we are.


    • 89
      cant hunter says:

      I was both shocked at the audacity of the BBC and Campbell, and yet not surprised at yet another of this lying, dishonourable, thuggish creep appearances on the wretched organisation. Just what is going on ? What next; Celebrity Chef; a slot on the World Cup commentating team; the/a Titchmarsh show; Building a Library for R3…


      • 93
        Alan says:

        I hear that “Burnley fan” Campbell is being considered by the BBC for a role throughout the World Cup.
        They really are taking the piss and it’s about time that the new government dealt with them.


      • 118
        Dancing Master says:

        What next?

        Dancing the Tyburn Jig wiv Phoney and the Scottish Loon?


  32. 81
    JB says:

    The whole of Andrew Marr’s BBC Radio 4 show this morning is an interview with the vile Alastair Campbell. I wonder if Campbell is concerned about the forthcominginvestigation into David Kelly’s death?

    “……the story we have been given about the ‘suicide’ of Dr Kelly doesn’t make any sense.
    Might the truth be that the outing of David Kelly’s name led not to his suicide – but to his killing?”



    • 95
      SDB says:

      Tories and Lib Dems are gunnning for Campbell.


    • 111
      Comical Al, eminent Noo_Lie_Bore apologist, polemicist, essayist, ‘n git, critiquing the broadcast says:

      Jus fuckin’ well shut yer fuckin’ face yer fuckin’ stoopid fuckas. Fuckin’ well lern some fuckin’ respect fer a fuckin’ important fuckin’ bloke wot ran this fuckin’ country fer fuckin’ years – and told the fuckin’ fuckers wot ter do ‘n that.

      Jus fuckin’ well fuck off will yer!

      I fuckin’ well rite fuckin’ books ‘n fuckin’ stuff yer know!

      I’m fuckin’ well gonna be on fuckin’ HIGNIFY one fuckin’ day too!


  33. 96
    Martin Day says:

    David Cameron’s resiganation speech will be broadcast live this morning at 10-00 o’clock on Sky News


    • 101
      lol says:

      You must be shitting yourself, Martin. Cameron’s going to stop your invalidity benefit and force you to work collecting trolleys at your local Netto.


    • 125
      Labour Governments ALWAYS end in failure and national debt says:

      Martin…get on script…the Labour Party(apart from Brown)wanted to lose the election because they knew the mess that he’d made of the public finances and it needed to be sorted out.They were too shit scared to actually tell the electorate the truth…Brown had spent ALL the money..”Saving the World” with little to show for it apart from national debt and failure


    • 146
      snurgling says:

      Interesting thought. If Cameron & Clegg suddenly decided to go to the Polls before September would Labour have to advance the leadeship contest or would they run with Mad Hattie? Could be a cunning plan

      If the 55% rule is in place, you might have Labour voting for the Coalition to ensure that a) their is no election before they’ve got a new leader & b) they do not have to deal with the clean up of their policies.


  34. 102
    Willofthepeople says:

    What a self serving bastard this guy is. It’s amazing how suddenly he’s out of his job his whole attitude changes and he starts slagging off his former colleagues. I’m sure he and his wife will be feeling the pinch loosing about 300k per year in ministerial salary.
    No wonder Labour lost. Why can’t these buggers tell the truth, stick to the truth and believe in the truth?


    • 109
      Engineer says:

      Labour? Truth? Where have you been?

      They don’t know the word; they certainly don’t know it’s meaning.


  35. 104
    Willofthepeople says:

    That’s Ed Balls


  36. 110
    AC1 says:

    So why is immigration so high??

    It’s because it’s so subsidised by idiocies like the “welfare” state and the NHS.

    Cut down those, tax land not work and give British Citizens (not foreigners here) a Citizens Dividend and you’ll see immigration change to a positive, not a negative for the country.


    • 123
      Quislings says:

      Immigration is kept at nation smashing levels because all three parties want it that way.

      Narrow, selfish, short-term political/commercial interests guarantee this country will be terminally fucked in the long run. A living-breathing nation wrecked for nothing more than ideology and profit.


  37. 131
    Cassandrina says:

    This morning the bbc radio 4 Toady Programme had an interview with the previous Canadian finance chief (who was later Premier) and who saw them through their last deficit chasm.
    Strange they did not mention that Canada is now the first G8 nation to increase its interest rate – still dedending the old corrupt regime?
    Also their one dimensional leading questions got them the answer they wanted – that it took Canada four years, public service employees were cut by about 10%, and this affected front line services.
    Balls Broadcasting Corporation never properly question corrupt incompetents like Balls on their constant u-turns. Talk about 5th column and Quislings in public service – the bbc needs Stalinist tactics to remove the cockroaches on radio 4.


  38. 148
    WD 40 says:

    Is there a bigger Hunt in opposition than Balls? Apart from Harman. And Straw.


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