Come to Guido’s “Ed Balls for Leader” Rally
The Labour Leadership campaign is looking a bit boring and to be honest a lot of you are pretty disappointed that Ed Balls is struggling so badly in his quest to lead the Labour Party.
So to liven things up a bit Guido is organising an “Ed Balls for Leader” rally in Westminster this afternoon.
The venue is 11 Tufton Street, Westminster at 3.45 pm this afternoon.
We’ll have posters ready for you to hold, and, errm, some bananas.
By strange coincidence David Miliband is also holding his third launch event at 11 Tufton Street at 4 pm.
We’ll be heading off to the Westminster Arms shortly after 4 pm…
Get’s my votes.
Bloody greengrocer. Who stuck that in there?
Damn – wish I was in London for this.
You might meet TaT!
Only if you’re going to the local wank shop, you’ll find him out the back, ringing the jizz out of spunk rags.
Sucking, not ringing.
And maybe wringing not ringing
I meant ‘wringing’. I am a twat.
You two have now been banned from the thick as thieves fan club.
You never paid your subs anyway so it is no great loss.
membership: 1
I am such a dougnut!
I pressed the submit button before I had finished typing. DOH!
membership: 1 million
Doh.
Damn I checked and multiple sock-puppets don’t count.
membership: One solitary person.
William Hague suggests Mrs Dale and Boris Johnson do panto this year
http://williamhague.wordpress.com/2010/05/26/labour-left-a-ticking-timebomb-in-the-moj/#comments
I see your apostrophe is alluding to a banana – very droll.
Can’t see why they are bothering. It is a done deal that ed miliband is the best of a bad bunch and will be their new leader to guide them through the wilderness.
A good outsider would be Blunkett to lead labour, without his dog.
But the dog is better qualified.
The Blind leading the blind
“A good outsider would be Blunkett to lead labour, without his dog”…across the M1…
4 BALLS ED LEADER?
I only wish I could be there.
A Balls victoy will ensure years of Conservative government
Ditto.
We had to endure his ugly mug on the telly today, as he vainly tried to rubbish Gove’s splendid new policy on academies. It was a trult pitiful performance. He looked ‘so last year’ in his control freakery way, just so totally irrelevant.
Quite. I saw that. “Yesterday’s man.”
Shit – missed the bastard! Just when I needed cheering up as well.
Even Francis Maude made him look a complete plonker last night and managed to associate him with Liebour lies, he really has got it coming. Even funnier was his wife sitting on the front bench in opposition looking as though she had been stuck in a wringer. Not a happy family, so missing Gordo.
Ditto – nowhere near EC1 at present.
I hope Mc Snot will put in an appearance soon so that he can be welcomed back to the house to face the music!
The Labour Leadership campaign is looking a bit boring PERIOD.
Is Labour “Uncut” campaigning for a non-Jewish leader with that Balls interview?
Think about it.
Bent yellow twat with a semi holds banana
Hangs to the right?
Labour is Balls!
Damnnit – stuck in Kent!
Had my ‘Balls not Bananaman’ placard ready and everything.
Wish I could have been there. Hope you’ve alerted the Beeb so they can get a camera crew there.
I see he is practising the art of banana dowsing.
Poor Mili’s banana seems to suffer from brewers droop. Perhaps that is why he and his lady wife had to buy, er, I mean adopt – two children in the States. Look like a family man at any price!. Is Purnell managing his campaign? perhaps he should adopt, too.
Wish I could join this, sounds like great fun. Be sure to tweet pics as it happens!
would love to come , but would get the ugre to murder balls
Don’t you mean the urge to murder blals?
Can we name this man Balls ‘Squealer’
In animal farm he is a small white fat porker who serves as Napoleon’s right hand pig and minister of propaganda. Guess who Napoleon is (was)
Uh – that french bloke ? Invaded Russia ?
Very short bloke who went mad. Thought he was a Speaker.
Wheres Gordon?
Off saving the wold
throught he already saved the world?
Has been sighted near Crowthorne RG45 7EG?
Perhaps Call Me Dave has given him a new post as Governor of The South Sandwich Islands.
What have the poor Sandwich islands done to deserve that?
Which one is he living on, Cheese or Pickle?
I got the surgeon of Crowthorne reference.
I saved a life today!
Left my car at home.
I miss him too!
So do I. I just wish that he had stayed on as leader for another five years as he promised. Still you cannot trust a son of the manse, can you?
reload, and fire again.
Sulking.
Bonnie Gordon’s noo awa’,
Safely ower the friendly main;
Mony a heart will break in twa’,
Should he ne’er come back again.
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better lo’ed ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Ye trusted in your Scottish men,
They trusted you dear Gordon
They kent your hidin’ in the glen,
Death or exile bravin’.
We watched thee in the gloamin’ hour,
We watched thee in the mornin’ grey.
Tho’ thirty thousand pounds they gie,
O there is nane that wad betray.
Sweet the laverock’ s note and lang,
Liltin’ wildly up the glen.
But aye tae me he sings ae sang,
Will ye no’ come back again?
Balls to your father,
**** against the wall,
if you can’t get ******* on a Saturday night,
you’ll never get ****** at all.
Is it a petrol pump?
Should I send round the chicken or would Ed prefer my big cock?
Don’t forget our date tonight under the Tyne Bridge man.
There’s nothing big about your cock Maguire.
Unless you’re talking about the one on your face.
whats happened to guy news?
It’s become ‘Gay News’ now, featuring big strapping Tories, with shaved chests.
Remind me of two things:
1. Did Ed Balls have a ‘private education’
2. Where did this constituent get her degree in economics?
Answers
1. Harvard USA
2. Gorbals GLasgow
So which of these two is right?
1) The person who says spend spend spend
or
2) The person who said pay pay off your debts
You would have to vote for Mrs Cutout, would’t you?
I think one can safely say that Balls’ education was a wasted one.
She strikes me as a bigoted woman.
Edd (The Bollocks) Balls gets financial advice from a labour supporter who blew the family christmas by trusting Farepak.
She trusted fucking labour and Christmas will be fucked proper good now you silly old Cu*t.
Jesus,to think my vote is only worth the same as hers.
“………Jesus,to think my vote is only worth the same as hers…..”
That’s not probably actually correct…hers when you take into account multiple occupancy registration(50 voters in one bedroom council flat in the Gorbals) and postal voting…… is probably worth three of yours at least
Your vote is worth rather less actually. If Labour had got as many votes as the tories, they would have won by a country mile. Something that needs urgent sorting before any future election.
Is that Patricia Hewett?
please you labour Mps its the right thing to do
( from an anonymous Scottish exiled PM, err sorry MP, who is not supporting anybody officially)
Will Ed Balls be there??
Please say he will – there’s something I want to give him…
Me too.
When you put Bollock’s wife next to Hattie as in the Commons yesterday,- the latter does look more attractive. Not making love attractive – bieng (presumably) repeadedly violated by a union trot during their married life precludes this – but more attractive than that bag of spanners nontheless.
Imperial or metric? It might be the difference.
Whitworth
Nah BSPT. Get the Engineer to explain.
Is that gas or water?
We’re all damned!
She has previously been described as elfin-faced in the Grauniad!
I would use the description whitworth-faced, whether it is three-eighths or nine-sixteenths then it is open to conjecture!
More ‘chinless’ than ‘elfin’.
What are the children like ?
Have you ever seen a slate-hanger’s nail bag?
C’mon guys, politico’s kids are off limits until they are big enough to speak for themselves.
But definitely a ring or socket!
At least Hattie always has shiny hair & looks as though she’s had a bath over the previous month – generally, Labour ‘wimmin’ seem to be very lax on both counts.
Balls has no fucking chance. I’m out in front . Vote for a clever sassy hip chic like me.
You’re only out in front coz ya belly sticks out further than ya tits.
Shurely fat, ugly, hoon?
Count me in , Guido.
Organic bananas only for me please
Has Whelan got Balls a safer seat yet, so he will be less dependent on postal votes (the number of postal votes in Balls’s constituency was at least 8 times the size of his majority of 1,100)?
It’ll be harder to get him one in West Yorks as it is turning blue, anyway they can always claim for two houses, it’s the right thing to do!
oh you shit stirrer you Guido!
i’d love to go, but am off elsewhere. make sure everyone takes a bananna to wave
(Matron!)
Wish I could be with you Guido
I am looking after your security at a distance…
I hope your cab in being suitably driven by Squeaker or Sally Alley !
Ed Balls will certainly keep everyone entertained & with Yvette we get two jokers for the price of one. Good luck Guido!
I work at a butchers shop and Ive always been tempted to see what would happen if I put my dick in the meat slicer, I resisted temptation until today, Ive just come home and told the wife “darling, Ive been sacked for putting my dick in the meat slicer”, my wife replied “what happened to the meat slicer”, I replied “well she has been sacked too”.
What goes “ninety nine bonk”?
An centipede with a wooden leg, ffs.
An?
It’s been a long day.
http://www.taidemuseo.fi/ximg/0img/kenka0.gif
Why does it say that?
Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted.
Yvette said I should treat her like a princess, so I’ve cut the brakes on her car…
Under new proposals to improve road safety during the summer season when traffic levels on Britains roads peak, the government has rolled out plans under which the stupidest drivers in England will have to identify themselves by displaying a distinctive red and white flag on each side of the car
I love sucking Balls.
Can I stand for leader?
That’ll be the only election you ever took part in, you mong.
Of course you can
what happened fawkes ?
Read the tweets at the top of the page.
less than a minute ago: “David Miliband’s face was priceless greeted by a banana waving mob #balls4leader”
I love shoving large objects up my arse. You wait till i lube up Millibands head.
I can’t carry on with this lie any longer. I don’t crave cock. I crave pus…
*GUNSHOT*
What Mrs Brown wanted to say is that she craves push-ups as part of her daily exercise routine. (Spokesman for the Office of Gordon Brown, happily married man and father.)
Yep, Ed, Yvette & Whelan! We can knock them out with one big punch. Oh delightful!
Guido, I will have to put in my apologies for this.
My dilemma is that, whilst I acknowledge Balls will keep Labour unelectable for years, I cannot help but relish the prospect of Balls’ rejection by the PLP. A few short months ago he was within hours of becoming Chancellor and the obvious heir apparent to Gordon. Now he is just a “has been” (and not a very good one).
Oh, Guido, you little Devil!
I’d love to have been there, but I’m in the middle of putting a print publication together.
Made of shiny, spunk repellent paper by any chance?
Has-been? Don’t you mean a NEVER WAS, like the little wanker holding a banana
E. Balls: I knew him when he wasn’t, and he still aint yet.
Looking forward to launching new website http://www.davidmiliband.net in a few mins.
http://twitter.com/DMiliband/status/14769666404
Having visited BananaBoys site, I’ve got two questions – Why is he giving voters the V-sign & why is he holding a cigarette?
I was Labour leader once. For a few weeks. I miss it. Oh well, back to my hanging baskets.
You should try wearing a bra.
Funny.
Fucking your Hanging baskets? They are ours! You Ken Dodd freak
Give me a pizza and I’ll give Ed my support.
Sorry Mr Pickles has eaten all of the pizzas. And the entire Pizza Hut franchise.
Have you tried spud-u-like?
Too late, try McDonalds, I’m busy with Burger King right now.
Will the tranny be there?
We support Ed Balls as leader
Hope you’re putting a vid of this on YouTube and Guy News.
….and Prime Minister Balls said
No, it just doesn’t work.
It’s simply no good at all, you simply cannot have anyone take a Prime Minister seriously named Balls….and that’s before you even start thinking about the person.
Try Reichsfuhrer…he’s already got the uniform
Ayesha writes me some cracking jokes. I’m going to be so impressive as Labour leader.
Its all a big fucking joke to the Labour Party.
They were grinning like fuck yesterday when Cameron was telling how fucked up the country is.
They are like these kids who set fire to buildings and then stone the Fire Brigade when they turn up.
At least you have the balls to admit liebore is a pantomine, just less funny.
David Laws accuses Labour of ‘scorched earth’ spending
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8706044.stm
laws is second only to Gordon in destroying New Labour.
Now look what you have done.
Al Beeb’s news website appears to have crashed.
Must be because the beeboids cannot cope with a non ZaNuLab government.
yes but the analysis by the bbc focuses entirely on the next labour viewpoint. In no way does it provide a balance review. This is typical of the bbc and its editorial staff. They have still not accepted that nextlabour has gone forever. It’s about time the bbc was closed down. They have not provided a balance public service remit for a very long time.
BBC News; i’m sure that i’ve just seen Robert Peston in jacket and tie and pale blue jeans (yuck ) whilst pontificating on the 6.00pm news. Horrible, Horrible and my wife thinks he was actually wearing tracksuit bottoms. Did his mother wake him too late ?
Heavy rumours indicate problimatica “trouble at mill”
I was expecting the new “unelected coalition govenment” to be derailed before the year was out, but not quite as early as this!
Reliably expect squalls denials and a grassroots shitstorm anytime soon!
Pop Corn and Icecream anyone?
I don’t know which is worse, Ed Balls or the sneering Milibands. Partisan plonkers, all of them. Not one suitable for the job of PM.
Somebody please persuade Alistair Darling to throw his hat into the ring, or Labour are doomed to snipe from the sidelines for a long time to come.
Ed Balls would make another great facicst dictator, I would vote for him if I wanted the end of democracy (Ox-y-Moron).
Yvette’s diary
Pt3.
Ed was being really boorish tonight. He was late back from that bloody Morley town hall again, and we were having a dinner party. He goes to every meeting now, in case someone is plotting something. This one was about the reallocation of allotments from deceased holders. He reckoned he can get Labour supporters into them. “Every little vote helps ” he says. To him I suppose. My majority is 25,725. I couldn’t give a stuff!
As he was so late I had everyone seated and began on starters. That little airport baggage car he was given by the union only does 40mph. When he came in Eds was furious. He roared “This is all wrong..not like this” and then sat and slurped his soup up and sat facing away from everyone.
Terrible behaviour. He didn’t even try a sneaky peak at Caroline’s tits, which he normally salivates over.
He shot up from the table and said he had some urgent campaign work to do on the laptop in his office… His office!Really! Its just the cellar with an upside Fortnum’s hamper as a stool and old nappy changer as a desk!
I apologised to Jacqui and Richard and the others for his rude offish behaviour and said he was worried about not getting enough nominations. Jac’s would love to help but she isn’t even an MP anymore.
Edddie bear still hadn’t come out from the cellar by 1am. It was only as I was tidying up that I noticed he had left his laptop on the coffee table…
What is going on with him. He’s becoming so…so..so..unpleasantly familiar?
He probably went for a crafty wank over a bit of youtube porn
But that’s just it. There really isn’t anything down there at all. I’m not sure there is even any power. Not even a light bulb. Normally he keeps leaning across Flinty to reach the salad, which he doesn’t even like, just to get an eyeful.
“I’m cleavage deprived” he says.
What can he be doing?
He can’t just be sitting in the dark brooding,plotting and sulking can he?
I am always right.
I am never wrong.
And there is no point in your electing anyone but Gordon to lead Noo_Lie_Bore!
He is the One for Me!
And for anyone!
His voice!
His perspicacity and penetrating probing that goes to the heart of my being!
His silky smooth words that glide so easily into the depths of my existence!
His analysis of my needs!
Oh! OH! O H !
I’m going again!
Going into status polytwadlicus!
No – don’t help me!
Let me succumb to the sweet aginy of His tender – but firm – hands!
Oh – OH – OH! OH! Oh!! Oi hoy!
Has the BT share price started to go into freefall?
http://waugh.standard.co.uk/2010/05/the-rise-and-rise-of-patricia-hewitt.html
Talking of bananas, can any of you do this?
http://www.break.com/index/hot-chick-peels-banana-with-her-feet.html
She could try peeling mine any day!
What Banana?
There’s that bar in Dam square where the girl peels a banana.
Not with her feet though.
Not anymore, she lifts one euro coins……
“Guido is organising an “Ed Balls for Leader” rally in Westminster this afternoon.”
If that doesn’t finish him off, nothing will.
What did he ever do to you?
Circumspice.
Who are you rooting for Jimmy.
Miliband E ?
I’m a don’t know. I’m a swing voter. I’m impressed by the venom Balls attracts from the right though. He must be doing something right.
It’s that Nazi uniform. We’re all insanely jealous ‘cos we can’t wear it with the panache Ed does.
Fair point. Can you really trust someone who flirted with fascism, even if it was at college?
He dosen’t attract venom from the Right, he provokes hilarity and provides great entertainment.
not wishing to stir things up, but D Millipede wants some feedback.
New website is now live
http://www.davidmiliband.net.
Have a look and let me know what you think
There will be a few fake Edward Balls offering comments.
Aye, – it’s Eddy the BallsUp kid fae mae.
Ah licked his wee balls many a time!
He thank’d me for it – and fae savin’ tha wuld.
Ah sav’d the wuld – did ye ken?
Finding anyone to support Balls could be difficult, finding someone to have a “jar” with in the Westminster Arms….perfect…..
Old Bollox has a lot to learn about tactics.
When you are as unpopular as he is, you don’t wait a few days and then declare yourself a candidate. You make sure you are first on the starting line, and then you corner the first 30 or 40 MPs you come across and bully them into backing you.
The minute you give any of them a chance to say, oh if I’d only known you were standing, I wouldn’t have already signed up to Milli senior or junior or … er … Dianne Abbot (?!???) —— then the game is up.
If I were you Eddie me old son, I would withdraw immediately and make noise from the back benches for a few years, there ain’t no hurry.
Sorry, if I really were you Eddie me old son, I would actually take the hint and get out of Westminster altogether, and open a butchers shop. I know that deep down, that’s the job for you.
Ed Balls
4
PLAY
O Edward Balls
(o Edward Balls)
is our King!
(is our King!)
O Eddy Balls is our King! x3
The Milibands
(the Milibands)
are full of sh*t!
(are full of sh*t!)
THe Milibands are full of shit!
With a name like Balls…I mean it makes you wonder does it not, why Yvette doesn’t use her married name …….and of course one thinks of the root of our surnames, Yvette, as a Cooper would have perhaps had forefathers who were barrel makers or ‘Coopers’, other common surnames indicate the profession or vocation of their ancestors. Smith (Blacksmith), Thatcher (early Roofer), Archer (Soldier, bowman), Straw (someone of no substance), Milliband (a musical ensemble of short stature), Kelly (Has anyone here seen….), Primarolo (a puritanical chocolate sweet), Burnham (a poor cook), Harman (from the Anglo-Saxon ‘Harm-man’), Abbot (a large fat priest) and so on….but ‘Balls’? Where did that name originate?
And all the while, three Bradford ladies who didn’t vote Labour three weeks ago have today been dragged out of the River Aire at Shipley, neatly chopped and jointed.
Be afraid, be very afraid………….Gordo doesn’t forget.
Retribution begins…..
[...] and now this spontaneous Twitter upsurge with this #Balls4Leader hogtosh thing. Apparently even bloggers from outside Labour want me to lead this Great Party of Ours. Loved the spontaneous netroots “Back Balls Not Bananas [...]