Harman’s Secret Weapon
There was much surprise that Harman came out of the blocks quick, littering her first despatch box attack on the coalition with jokes that Gordon could only dream of delivering. Particularly good was her quip about the Lib Dems wanting to cling on to the trappings of opposition. It bodes well for some entertaining PMQs.
Before conclusions are jumped to that she is a natural, could Harman’s new-found sense of humour have something to do with the promotion of Ayesha Hazarika, a stand up comedian, to Director of Communications of the Labour Party and Deputy Chief of Staff to the Leader of the Opposition? For all the jokes, Labour are still not finding the need to mention that deficit.
Batty Hatty as batty as ever. Maybe she should get a job at The Comedy Store.
The best joke of all is watching the faces of all those opposition Labour MP’s.
Yes – “OPPOSITION”. I’m still laughing!! At last we have something to thank Gordon for – making Labour unelectable!
PS Poor performance really. No substance. Typical Labour jibes. Harperson was an embarrassment to the women she claims to represent.
the ‘hole’ of the new old labour front bench was a picture.
it is obvious that none of them have a clue about the damage they have done
and the arrogance of some will, hopefully, come back to haunt them.
who the fuck voted Beckett and Blears back?
and Gordon, gracious as ever – stayed away – what a fucking bastard he really is
Harriet had a nice easy to read script this time. Wait ’til she has to think on her feet.
That’ll be the day.
Hattie doesn’t do original thinking now she has a script writer, come to think of it she never did…
I hope she’s not going to start telling jokes
about her “Ladybits, Downstairs, Plumbing, etc.” : (
Really missed Jonah McIdiot. I wanted him to explain the silly note from Byrne. Perhaps I’m being cruel. though I think the fool should be made to stand at the dispatch box and ridiculed.
Stocks more like it,with a note of every failure tied to a rock.
That would have to be a boulder then.
“making Labour unelectable!”
And, of course, a special round of applause to David Minibore, who will ensure that by being Blair ark 2, he’ll drag Labour back to New Labour and he will alienate the general membership of the Labour Party. Endorsed by Mandy and Campbell – a strong recommendation indeed!
Erm, I think you will find Cameron is Bliar Mk2. Miliband will have to content himself with Mk3, though the brand is well past it’s sell by date and begining to stink the room out.
blair is a philanthropic conservative though maybe thats to big a concept for you to grasp but you will
WHAT MADE ME LAUGH WAS 5 LIVE KNOCKIN THE TORIES FOR BLAMING LIEBOUR FOR THE DEFICIT IF IT WASN`T LIEBOURS FAULT MR BACON THEN WHOSE IS IT YOU PRICK
Can anyone even BEGIN to imagine porking her?
Excuse me while I vomit!!
rather her than that comedienne pictured with her on second thoughts milliband in knickers would be preferable
I will be prime minister! Yes I will! I will, I will, I will!
No you won’t. Now go and put the kettle on, love.
Now we get marriage guidance from Harman.
Harman : “The government can’t pay couples to stay together”
If your marriage is in trouble, do what Jacqui Smith did, just rent a porn DVD, snuggle together with a glass of wine, watch ‘Florence Fists Fiona’ and put the DVD rental on MP’s expenses.
BTW Harriet what was the digital camera you claimed for on expenses for? Beaver shots?
Just get the other half a cushy job at your workplace. Pays more than three quid too.
She was awful as always. Shame on her constituents re-electing her.
Would like to add to my post, that watching Labour attack Cameron on the Queen’s Speech debate is really quite pathetic.
Maybe one day they will wake up and it will dawn on them quite why they lost the election (and I don’t mean because Labour had not printed enough postal votes with Sanjeev, Piotr and other names to make it look less suspicious)….
It is a shame that one-eyed-Scottish-Comedian was not able to be there today.
Everyone would appreciate his great practical joke of selling the gold and investing instead in the crashing and vulnerable Euro……. ho, ho, ho…….
Isn’t it time Guido started another, “Where’s Gordon?”, thread of articles?
Broon’s probably in some dark linoleum covered kitchen in Kirkcaldy drawing David Cameron’s face on his porridge with a large felt pen before defacing it an eating it.
Before defacating in it and eating it, surely
He considers himself not responsible for the defaecet.
I have a strange feeling that Jonah may well be somewhere near Korea at the moment.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10156834.stm
More importantly, who is he supporting as labour’s new leader? They are surely fooked!
..then adding a rolled bogey crunchy topping…..
“not able to be there ” Billy? What is more important for a back bench mp (for that is all he is now) than to be in the HoC? I suspect he will be devoting most of his time to seeking out a well paid tax free post with generous expenses /allowances and a massive pension. Oh, & not more than 3 days per week.
He can’t have much to do in the constituency;most of them are on benefits.
Au contraire – benefits devotees are usually the most dependent on anything free, including unnecessary prescriptions and MP’s surgeries, often attended because the welfare has fukked up.
Bo Selecta!
A comedian at the dispatch box? Well labours jokes these last 13 years have had me in stitches. I laughed until I cried.
Here is a great one liner for the Harridian – ‘Deficit? What deficit?’
I thought that the whole bloody bunch of ZaNuLieBor ‘politicians’ were comedians, and they have never, ever raised a laugh from me. Tears, yes, but no laughs at all.
What a bunch of useless c. unts!
‘Ayesha Hazarika’
Who the fuck is that?
No, seriously…………….who?
A deeply unfunny scotcher. Had to YouTube her and wasted two minutes listening to her “right on ” PC, political “humour”. Fucking dire.
Perhaps they send in Jim Davison for a spot of coaching.
Should be right up Hattie’s alley (ho ho ho)
Could have been worse, could have been Marcus Brigfstocke.
Wait a minute there’s no f in Brigstocke.
Sadly there is…
Hazarika is a formal civil servant press officer, (ex MAFF, DTI) who moved over to be Hatty’s spin doctor after effectively doing the same job for Patsy Hewitt while at DTI. Hails from Glasgee. Ex-partner of Ben Wilson, of the BBC – which was obviously a complete coincidence when she managed to front a documentary on BBC1 about being a muslim.
Can we have a thread on this true englishwoman please Guido…
http://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2009/04/ayesha_hazarika.html
That link states that this woman is paid over £50,000 in taxpayers money to act as a special adviser to Harman.
The fucking joke’s on us…
It sounds like the involuntary violent expiration that one feels inclined to answer with the words, “Bless you!”
a deeply unfunny (and bloody ugly) wimmin’s stand-up
I’m Harriet HaHaHarman. I ‘m here all week. You know where to find me.
“I’m the slattern of a trot I helped get in over my fellow lesbos”
all the angry labour MPs making me laugh
Dave pretty effective, I thought. I think I might enjoy him as PM.
He should wipe the floor with Balls.
Wiping the floor with Balls would just leave some unpleasant grease and sweat stains.
Gordo’s new franchise to the rescue, he could ‘ScotchGuard’ the carpets!!
SnotGuard.
Ever since I heard Balls’ truly disasterous radio interview with Eddie Mair,I ‘ve been wondering if the Labour backbenchers could be so stupid to put him in against Cameron at PMQs.On the other hand,the alternatives aren’t much better.
I’ll never look at Balls again without seeing the mental picture of a mongrel dog doing that thing they do on the carpet. Thanks Grockle!
He hasn’t got a hope in hell of winning the leadership election. He has been infected with the Jonah virus. Have you forgotton how close he was to Gorgon these past few years!
Does anybody know what the lapel badges being worn by many Labour MPs are?
Sorry if I’m a bit thick!
Probably Stalin’s birthday today, or some such event. The comrades are big on badges and symbolic tokenism.
I expect they have their names written on so they can find out who they are.
The badge says
Come back Gordon
All is forgiven…
Not by me he isn’t.
Don’t you live just up the valley from me?
ho ho ho ho I like it
“Rockin’ the Boat”? As modelled by a little, ginger, contrite, grinning Blears?
Is she available for childrens’ parties?
Do I look silly wearing this revolving bow tie?
So who was writing her material before, eg the “diversity party” routine?
Harman’s up for it IMO – never mind what she says. If you were a girlie with your eye on the top spot, would you rather have a couple of ferrets only down your pants, or a whole sackful of them?
In typical stalinist fashion she is letting someone else do the dirty work of clearing the field of the crud, the daisies, and the undergrowth, so she can swing more freely at the remaining divvies with her scythe… err hammer… err stiletto… err invective… well, as Guido says, it will be entertaining and just as good i.e. bad, for layber as that load of old Balls.
I recently responded to one of those TV adverts promising compensation for “accidents in the workplace.”
Apparently shitting your pants in the House of Commons isn’t worth anything.
George it was very nice of you to enquire on my behalf.
The joke started in America.
Oh, sorry. I forgot no one gives a shit what I think anymore.
Can Ms Harmen please tell me when her party is going to pay for the damage it has caused me? I am not joking. Cough up. Troughers.
Get used to those opposition benches, you hateful witch.
Harriet Harman should top herself. Troughing fecking socialist scum!
What a civilized bunch of followers you have, Guido! You must be so proud. ‘You hateful witch’ was a particularly witty contribution to the debate.
My colleague is a witch. She’s a very nice person.
Therefore you can only be her (italian) turd.
It’s not untrue though is it?
You lefties really have taken defeat badly haven’t you?
Feel free to follow Gordon’s lead and call anyone who doesn’t agree with you a bigot. It really doesn’t matter, no-ones listening to your visceral brand of politics any more…
From where I sit, I can see her black pussy.
RACIST!!
Someone calls Harman a hateful witch and you cry about it.
Get a fucking grip!
Well, Harman was a member of a party and government that started wars that killed thousands of people. What part of ‘hateful witch’ isn’t appropriate?
Harman is an awful, poisonous bitch, oh yeah, your blog is shite too.
hear hear his blog really is shite
Game set and match to Minekiller.
You lose craiganthonyrya.
P.S. The illegal war in Iraq killed tens of thousands, not just thousands.
The conflict has resulted in around 100,000 documented civilian deaths.
Not bad for a war started on false pretences. Must make them proud.
It achieved what it set out to do: kiss the retarded cowboy’s butt and make a fortune for that two-bit soap actor Blair.
A man so proud of the country he changed forever that he comes to the UK, what, twice a year?
Witch?
Harriet is actually a practicing witch.
Look how she managed to change the sex of her has-been hubby so that he was eligible to be selected for a Labour all woman shortlist.
Fuck off Craig – you pompous, patronising, ‘holier than thou’ cock socket.
Civilised by whose measure?
This is a free forum for debate – offensive or otherwise.
Are you scotch or something?
A free forum for debate – where anyone dissenting from your 3 line whip mentality is told to fuck off.
You ain’t heard nothing yet!
Listen, you ill-educated prat. Civilised with a fucking ‘s’.
And if you’re looking for gentility you’re way off route. Now fuck off and mince around somewhere else.
Witty enough for you?
Tosspot. American English spelling has not changed in 400 years. English has. Our spelling is pretentious. Theirs isn’t. Get out a bit more.
I think President Roosevelt has something to say about it, and he isn’t 400 years dead.
Don’t go out.
The language is English, not fucking American. I don’t give a toss what the cretinous North Americans do or say. Just because your spell-check is something Microsoft has dreamed up, doesn’t make it right. You’re damn right that their language hasn’t changed in 400 years, nor has their thinking.
Trouble is that the poxy Yanks seem to believe they own the English language. They don’t, and nor do the Canadians, New Zealanders, Australians etc etc.
Sivilised?
Look in your Oxford ENGLISH dictionary, you ill-lubricated ignorant receptacle for a horse-cock (yeah, I can swear it too!). “Civilized” can be spelt either way even for UK use.
Wank blog from a wanker. You lost, now fuck off.
The speech by Peter Lilley was brilliant, the Lib Dem was very good – both witty, clever, gracious, self-deprecating and humorous. Then came Harman. Dear oh dear – plodding, spiteful interspersed with one liner cracks. No elegance, no charm, no self-deprecation, no wit. What a graceless harridan.
All that charm rubs off from her hubby, Mr Harman.
He used to be something to do with the trade union movement, tha’ knows.
Doesn’t like answering questions…
‘plodding, spiteful interspersed with one liner cracks. No elegance, no charm, no self-deprecation, no wit’
That’s me, that’s why Jack married me.
Nothing to do with what’s between your ears, or your legs for that matter, then.
Unsworth, weren’t you reading? Jack married Harriet for her one liner crack
Is that like a sort of hairline crack? Anyway, it’s probably atrophied and dropped off by now.
49Harriet says:
‘plodding, spiteful interspersed with one liner cracks’
One pantyliner crack, more likely, and a wedgie big enough for a bath towel!
No humility about the chaos and disharmony they have inflicted on the country, just sad spiteful one liners. Probably appropriate that she has a “stand up comedian” as an adviser. What else have they but bitter jokes?
Bring back Gordon with his funny chin movement.
heard today:
Don Foster – “MPs are like babies nappies, they should be changed regularly for exactly the same reason”
Does anyone know whether Boateng is still taking his tablets?
Last I heard he was humming the Eton Boateng Song.
Well, it has been jolly Boateng weather.
Shh, don’t say anything to Harriet. She still thinks they’re in government.
I’m furious. Nick was completely obliterated from view when Dave was on his feet.
Let’s see now….an Oxbridge and privately educated wealthy socialist-feminist-aristo as sort of stand in leader who parachuted her husband (or bitch perhaps) into a women only safe seat, an Oxbridge educated white male (wealthy thanks to expenses and home flipping) with a dream surname for journalists, running for leader and a stand up comedian as party Communications Director. Since Labour is a comedy act, this is an appropriate appointment.
Check, check and check. Yep, they’ll be in opposition for quite while.
Do you think that Hattie takes Jack up the trooper with a rubber cock?
Sick thought, but in the public interest none the less….
A Redditch Scuttle?
Jack Droneeeeee on Sky now – what an ugly, smug, tw*t head – just right for Batty Hatty. Is Gorgon in mental institution by the way? It’s doing the rounds……..
I thought we were discussing stand ups not strap ons I must try to keep up
Indeed
Could you be more explicit. I don’t understand what you mean.
OT, but laughing at the ‘seen elsewhere’ link on the right of page to ‘Mandy’s Dark Slimey Future’
He will of course know all about the need for good lubrication and probably all ready supports the petroleum industry by using Vaseline, or Rod Wax as it was originally known.
Shurely shome mishtake!
Pay damages Labour. Not joking! Scum
Anyone been moderated lately?
I am, as usual, gloriously immoderate, and unmoderateable, unless I use words like m*rket, driv*r, p*ssed, or any other term in common usage that triggers that ludicrous excuse for a moderation script.
So no, I havent!
I’m sure I’ll manage it later, though – me and a couple of reds from Lussac have a date.
you forgot drink
Feck, Arse, Girls
Philanderer!
My missus said to me earlier “It’s impossible to balance a relationship with a career.”
I said to her try and balance a laptop on your knees whilst trying to have a wank…
Try holding a pint glass, a pork pie and yer secretary’s arse. Now, that’s talent lad.
Come on John, you’re slipping. You get your secretary to hold the pie and pint. If she spills some, spill some on her.
That’s why you employ servants.
Labour are despicable. First they trough, then they lie, they spin us into war, they lie about the economy and they can’t get an idea of their own. No humility from Labour. They destroy the economy & people’s lives then joke about it. They should rebrand themselves as the pathetic party.
Exactly, the Socialist mindset doesn’t leave any room for guilt or shame, they are always the biggest victim in any room.
Even though this country is circling the plug hole, because of their doing, and the Coalition is doing their best, all Labour can do is have a go, completely without any self knowledge.
The really are a special kind of soulless beast, acting on in their own short term interest, never taking the blame for their actions, ever.
Well, at least they’ve got cheap eastern European domestic help!
Knock! Knock!
go on then,,,
I don’t get it. I don’t watch Dr Who.
Why was that woman with the horses wearing my hat?
Given her track record on women’s rights, Mrs Dromey should shut the feck up & get her knockers out.
We’re here
She is a miserable cow when I demand her to wash the dishes whilst taking it from behind.
Mmmm, the multi-tasking technique? Like it.
don’t be silly she will have a dish washer which we all bought for her.
Jack: “Can I Roger you whilst you are on the phone Harriet?”
Harriet: ” Of course Jack. You know where you can find it”.
So at PMQ’s are they going to use canned laughter after every punchline. That woman is so not funny & neither is her party. Destroying a country is no joke! Humility is a better.
Richard shit head Bacon keeps calling Guido a Tory blogger. if only! I guess it’s better than being called a fascist by that pint sized jock fucking mong Nikki Campbell
WE DO IMPORT FROM N. KOREA, WHY????? SHUT OFF ALL IMPORTS TO REDUCE THEIR INCOME & LET CHINA CONTINUE TO FEED THEM. GOOD 4 BOTH
Ayesha Hazarika and Yasmin Alibhai-Brown ; separated at birth ?
Ever seen them in the same room ?
Thought not.
No but I see Alibhai-Brown every morning when I look down the toilet bowl after a hot curry and 10 pints the night before.
wasnt it wonderful to see the labour as opposition, looking like guillotine victims who havent realised yet there heads are off
You’re all bigots!
I like that Tawny Blur
Who’s that sitting behind Harriet? Has he just goosed her?
Is David Blunkett still in the HoC?
Fancy that!
[...] * Then again, her adviser is a comedienne. [...]
This just in about Harman’s ‘great’ lines: no-one gives a toss.
Labour are in their natural place: confined to opposition where they can do no harm, except to themselves.
So go on, you venomous harpy, spout those ‘hilarious’ one-liners. The electorate gave their verdict – soundbites and spreading fear are not enough.
Note Blunkett made a comment about rich Tory MPs, remind me how much B-lair earned last year was it £33 million.
Can anyone name one ex Liebour Minister who is not a millionaire.
Yep, Labour pledge to abolish those nasty Tory millionaires, and replace them with lovely Labour millionaires.
Such is their tribalism that they can only see evil in others, never in themselves. As I said, they have no self knowledge.
As ever, they seek to put the spotlight on anyone but themselves, point the finger, call out to the mob, all the while sitting on their golden thrones.
Being rich isn’t a crime, even though they’d like it to be, for their enemies. As for themselves, well, nothings too good for the workers eh?
and 5 mansions!
And how much did the average labour voter make last year? How thick are they!
I was watching some of the Harman humour on C4 news earlier. She comes across as a silly and very confused school girl trying to impress her school chums. I don’t think the Coalition need to employ the still living Monty Python team just yet.
“could Harman’s new-found sense of humour have something to do with the promotion of Ayesha Hazarika, a stand up comedian, to Director of Communications of the Labour Party and Deputy Chief of Staff to the Leader of the Opposition?”
What the fuck??? Last time I looked Ayesha Hazarika was a piss-poor press officer at the DTI. To be fair, she did make us laugh. Trouble is, she wasn’t trying to. Director of Communications of the Labour Party? You must be joking. Hahahaha. This bodes well for some almighty cock-ups in future.
Nice to see Labour think the economy, their legacy, is something to laugh about.
There again, they never did give a shit about the people, did they? We’re just cattle to be milked.
And Hatty wotsit is the parlour maid milking us!
Where is Gordo and his Beard? Is he going on a pilgrimage to Canterbury for a penance OR is he going to Canterbury to give his Beard a blessing?
Was it just me?, or did anyone else think yvette cooper was wearing ‘road kill’ on her head. It was either a syrup, or a rusty badger
Badger cull on the cards. Keep looking behind you Why Vet. And I don’t mean your *man* Balls.
I thought she looked like a near the end Charles Hawtrey having lost his spectacles.
For fuck sakes, that Theresa May wears that stupid blue stinking StarTrek jacket every day of the week.
Hasnt she anything else?
[...] Harman’s Secret Weapon There was much surprise that Harman came out of the blocks quick, littering her first despatch box attack on the [...] [...]
That one on the right, is that the woman who had the face transplant ?
dont sugar the pill say what you think old chum and have a lie down you getting over excited
Thanks for that for a moment there I thought that Harriet the O’rrible had been the subject of a brain transplant but no its still the same tired old third rate fitting she always has had.
What is a photo of Ronnie Corbett in drag doing next to the Divine Leaderess?
Is this the “comedian” who appears on mock the week? The least funny of the lot. Never mind there should be plenty of material working for Harriet.
Yes but she is really really funny. Have you not seen her on Mock the Week?
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2010/05/26/harriet-harman-a-sex-and-the-city-girl/
Harriet Harman is a Sex and the City girl. She has so much in common with the girls, they should have given her a part in the latest movie!
Well Labour managed to prevent a complete humiliation by pandering to the only voters it had left, Scottish candidates for Scottish people.
Now if only they could find a Scottish woman..
Hazarika’s from….Glasgee! Box ticked.
Not quite the same spelling