More SpAd’s
Further to the first list of special advisers earlier here are a few more:
Andrew Mitchell – Philippa Buckley. Guido never reveals sources, but someone got in touch who is very proud of his little girl!
Eric Pickles – Sheridan Westlake (who many thought would never leave CCHQ alive) and Giles Kenningham.
Philip Hammond – Sian Jones
Theresa May – Nick Timothy and Fiona Cunningham
Oliver Letwin – Martha Varney
Liam Fox – Luke Coffey and Oliver Waghorn
William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.
Caroline Spelman – Simon Cawte. Let’s hope this time his pay is all in order.
Sir George Young – Robert Riddell
Jeremy Hunt – Sue Beeby and Adam Smith
Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government? Keep it coming.
Mine’s the one on the left.
“Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government? “
Looks like that very first promise is the first promise to go the way of the cast iron guarantee.
All the old shit being put in place under a diff. name.
and judging by the look on her face she is reading one of your stalker texts with a picture of you teabagging your boyfriend.
No as good looking as my boyfriend
Er! are we paying for this lot? The taxpayer that is???? If so I’m getting seriously pissed off!!! Glad I’m self employed…. Can adjust a few things!!!!!!
dire makeblog filler even for you Fawkes
seriously, who gives a fuck
Me
when a SpAd asks me what I think before he advises a govt minister on what I think will be a day our grandchildren will talk about.
What’s a SpaD between friends? You’re surely nitpicking Guido its worth it for the greater good. This coalition has hit the ground running and now they are going to disprove my theory that introducing early cuts would tip us into a double dip recession!
Maybe I was wrong on this one?
Same old, same old. Out with the old, in with the slightly less old. Business as usual.
My thoughts too. Don’t these zombies have functioning brain cells of their own? All this hand holding in the corridors of power seems highly dubious to me.
Prior to its abolishion, I was invited to become adviser to the Potato Council Quango – That would have made me A SpUd SpAd!
A spUD U like
you are clearly a libdem with a long memory
fuckin hells bells
“Perhaps if the government open sourced their information” – What does that mean? Can any MP/SpAd even write code in the first place?
It means they would not need special advisers, just someone to tell the minister what the public are advising.
It’s all being replaced by an RSS feed from the Daily Mail comments section.
Guido was considered as a source, but the constant replacement by the mod script of references to politicians by the word ‘Hoon’ was considered unsafe, as £5000 per day would be too much of a drag on public spending.
Give me a job
With your proven track record in destroying healthy economies we would love to welcome you on board.
We were invited to join the government, but then the Tories didn’t win an outright majority and the invitation had to be amended so it only applied to the Liberal Democrats.
Are you missing me yet?
No,now let me get on with my Huhne work you Hoon.
Politics has now got fuck all to do with Politics any more.
Forget the quality feel the width 24hr rolling ball sacks in fucking suits and skirts with a Blackberry for genitals.
Is that why Derek Simpson likes fiddling with his Blackberry whilst Willie Walsh watches on?
Would that be this Sheridan per chance?
http://order-order.com/2005/04/27/nick-sheridan-westlake/
What an-uber-Hunt.
Might have guessed! Plenty of troughers!
I never thought I would argue in favour of employing more spads but Liam Fox is such a dopey fucking wanker he will need at least 20 to operate around the clock to prevent the cock from stop putting his foot in his mouth.
The bloody idiot.
Are you obssesed with cock ??
No, but I have my suspicions that you are suffering from OCD judging by the way you keep going on about it.
Liam Fox is total fucking spastic.
Happy now?
TAT ALERT! TAT ALERT!
Please form an orderly queue for autographs.
Thankyou.
Only thing you’re signing is signing onto the dole.
I’ve never signed on before.
You are an expert dole scrounger AC1, tell us how one goes about scrounging from the state?
Ah “incapacity” benefit it must be then TaT.
Stop projecting AC1.
Reeminder of the Labour Hoons! Brownites!
Is that paul merson in the middle?
Looks distressingly like Jonathan Woss.
2 many cooks spoil the broth! Hoons
Some sad news for us veteran Order-Order Commenters
http://cityunslicker.blogspot.com/2010/05/some-sad-news.html
That is sad indeed. Unhappy day.
That is sad indeed.
There’s more than one of you, then?
are they all gay ?
Too fecking thick to make a decision for themselves!
This is a cut too far !!!
David Laws just announced Twitter posts to be cut to 90 characters.
twitter is for twats
Definitely not thick as thieves, for two obvious reasons. Firstly, the post is far too witty to be from the diseased mind of tat, and secondly, tat never uses upper case.
“Too many twitters make a twat”
I agree with Dave
Look Nick, I really need to take a shit, I am absolutely busting.
Is that okay?
that was not part of the deal dave
I think you’ll find the answer on page 33 of The Coalition Document…
Too many twitters make a bassa negotion
David Miliband responds by composing all his Tweets in Hebrew, which only has consonants.
Unfortunately this leads to Labour MPs mistakenly invading the West Bank rather than the West End for their Friday afternoon session.
Jesus, you get rid of one bunch of shysters!!
Arminca Helic, WTF!
..and I thought Hague was not too bad!
‘Arminca Helic’
I thought that was a font.
Martha Karney? The pro-Labour BBC woman?
I don’t believe it!
Whens next pmqs?
Wednesday …?
shit , i better start praticing
Welcome to the Huhne office.
I embrace change, in fact I celebrate it every night with my wife.
Party poppers and a bottle of fizzy,the fucking works.
But there is change of which I must speak.
Not shirts,vests and pants but CLIMATE.
It is fine for a politician to change I do it all the time but ClIMATE…never.
It’ll be such a feather in the little fellow’s cap if he DOES succeed in changing the climate. He could then move on to changing the force of gravity, or altering Planck’s Constant.
“Ye cannae change the laws o’ physics!” (Montgomery Scott)
The Age of Austerity is upon us – Who’s paying and how much?
Your Children and Everything
Maybe the cunning plan is to engage a couple of dozen spads and then they can do away with 90% of the civil service. Works for me!
I would go so far as to say this was incest. Ex-ministers and advisors swapping roles. Failed candidates turning up as advisors. Anyone who’s anyone in the ‘heirarchy’ of spin and machinations is recruited in the burgeoning massive that is government plc.uk. Presumably most of them are totally unable to do anything else. A lifetime weedling their way through parliamentary cupboards and filing cabinets. Bet there’s not one of them can change a fucking light bulb – but they know a man who can – fucking traitors and charlatans and sycaphants the lot of them
Let’s face it, not many people would want a job like that, so they only have a small pool of applicants to fish in. The thing most of us detest most about work is the office politics, so there’s no way we’d want to be involved with that crowd. Much safer to just snipe anonymously from the sidelines on somebody else’s blog.
Let’s face it engineer, they are as thick as thieves.
Engineer, okay
but they’re running the fucking country. Imbeciles, wonks, morons alternatively known as advisors – what life experience do they have? who are they accountable to? who pays? Oh I know, just let’s fork out the money, lie back and watch the country decimated by them. Complain a lot and vote the next lot in to do the same. Democracy? SHAMOCRACY
Artiface, brutality and innocence
Woof!
See you all tomorrow chaps
Purple People flashmob tomorrow @ State Opening of Parliament 10.30am http://tinyurl.com/2w23vbn
No you wont, just wankers with dogs on string.
It’s alright for you mate I has to clear up afterwards wiv all kinds of crud beer cans donna kebabs condems and all kinds. The stink goes on hours after theyve gone back to their squots.
I’m sorry to see than Ray Alan has died, but he must have been so proud to see his dummy become Prime Minister.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/7759164/Ventriloquist-Ray-Alan-dies.html
As I have remarked elsewhere, Ray Alan was great. It’s just that his co-star Lord Charles was a bit wooden.
Ah, good. Normal service has been resumed. We don’t want a revolution now, do we?
Over to Daniel for the weather. Pheew, hot isn’t it Dan? My foundation is melting! How hot is it and can I get any hotter?
It’s Laura to you, Matthew **giggle**. BTW – purple is sooo you! Yes, we’ve had a heatwave in the Westminster area for a few days but expect much cooler temperatures over the next few weeks and watch as the fluffy blossom finally starts to fall from the Prunoideaes.
If anyone wants an adviser for smear campaigns, I’m available. I’m good at that sort of thing. Oh, wait. I was caught. Maybe I’m not good at it.
These SPADs need a good FOKKER.
Fokker fodder the lot of them.
Would you drink with any of them?
£50 says that in the published photo they were all either on the phone to another spadstic trying to get a f*** or it was an old school friend that they needed to borrow this months rent from.
Can I use the word C;unts?
thatcher to challenge dave for leadership of the tory party
Oh half them will be gone by Friday. Useless
Right, I’ve just been given permission by Nick to take a shit and I curled up a big turd but now I need to wipe my arse.
Nick, is it okay if I wipe my arse now?
Is that alright?
Get owwwt of my pub yer all baarrred!
Phillipa Stroud as SPAD to IDS – now there’s a pair of open minds – not.
its all thatchers fault !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oliver Letwin will be travelling on the buses then.
Buy 2 get 1 free! Kerrrrchiinnng!
I cant belive how ungrateful you all are , I did abolish boom and bust and i saved the world .
If you dont elect me again i will send balls round to sign your postal voting form
Who are you ?
Thats my Hero
I thought the turkey baster is your hero.
Phillippa, Giles, Sheridan, Fiona, Martha, Arminca and Chloe, names that clatter off the tongue like a drawer of silver spoons.
EPNS, no probity, car boot sale.
Business as useuall!
Guido removed a post – about a gay Tory MP. How come?
coz he can
I think Fawkes realised that a lot of piss taking was about to come his way.
Can’t think why……………
Dont tell me the tories have banned piss taking?
Absolutely NOT…we’ve had open and frank discussions with our coalition partners and have agreed to appoint a Royal Commission to investigate all sides of the argument..they should report before the end of this Parliament in 2015 or possibly not
lol
Well, if he will trawl gay apps when his wife’s away. Smelt a bit Oaten, that.
I’m one!
You did say spaz, didn’t you?
I keep getting a feeling of Deja Vu.
We’ve changed the rosettes from red to yellow and blue,we’ve changed the spin from red to yellow and blue,were even changing the kitchen, but we can only pretend we’ve changed the politicians and hangers on as it appears we owe them all a livelyhood.
OOOOOH ER! Red and yellow mixed together gives Orange
100th !!!!!!!!!!!!
Get lost saddo
Beats my record.
GIVE ME BACK MY JOB OR I’LL THROW A NOKIA AT ALL OF YOU BIGOTS!! I AM STILL YOUR PRIME MINISTER!
So this is Cameron`s promise of slashing bureaucracy! `Natura; wastage` is not the same as `cuts`. Just look what Cameron`s `progressive` candidate in Malton and Thirk is saying about her local bureaucracies – nothing!
Public sector spending in Malton and Thirsk, which includes many Councils, might include cuts in the following:
- Moors National Parks, a hihj bureaucratic cost body with no democratic control, has just announced the purchase of 14 additional new range rovers for their `growing` team of park rangers. Why does an uncultivatec natural park need this enormous bureaucracy – park `facilities` should be minamilised and run privately at profit.
-Ryedale District Council has just `restructured` its senior management `team` with new titles and increased salaries for iits staff. For its size and responsibilities it has an enormous HQ staff of 250 (not including the workers!), involves itself in trivial decisions and advice, and constantly adds to its specialist staff. A staff of 50 would be generous for the fulfilment of their duties.
Other Councils within the constituency behave similarly.
Why don`t the Tories expose this as an election issue?
The Tory candidate Ann McIntosh, who most local Tories want deselected, is herself a Eurocrat.
Sir George Young – Robert Riddell – any relation to Tom Riddell of Lord Voldemort fame by any chance?
More useless hoons & troughers. I am depressed with it all, I really am.
Cameron change = No change.
Why not cut bureaucracy levels to what they were in 1997?
Only as a starting point, of course!
Dregs of the old politics.
Sheridan Westlake, one never forgets a name like that. Tosser.
So does Sheridan Westlake still worship at the altar of Alan B’Stard and play Dungeons and Dragons in his spare time, wishing he was a Paladin – he certainly did in the 6th Form at RGS Guildford…
I’ve heard that his real name at RGS Guildford was Nicholas, but he changed it to Sheridan for effect. He was the hub of the OUCA idiots at Oxford in the late 1990s.
I only ever knew him as Sheridan, though I was one year above him.
The moment he was allowed to wear a suit to school instead of uniform, he was dressed like Alan B’Stard.
William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.
Perhaps he is one of those people who thinks the 21st Century started on 1 1 2000 in which case he would have the required number.
The world is a big place to keep an eye on. Still he can chop the FCO budget by 50% now he has all these, er, diplomatic experts. No?
If they’re so fucking useless that they need advisors, what the fuck are they doing there in the first place.
Sack the c’unts and get someone who knows what they’re doing without needing their hand held,
I’d love to hear some definitions of a spAD or spADS
Starter for 9.5
“Some pillocks Advised Dave’s Surrender
In railway accident reports: “Signal Passed At Danger” – usually leads to a greater or lesser disaster
Nope – it means Stop Pissing About Dave, See?
Spastics pissing away dollars?
Where were all these jobs advertised?
Cummings had a blazing row with someone in the Edu Dept, possibly I hear, the permanent sec.
Also, David Willetts has appointed/will appoint Nick Hillman.
SPADS = Several People Are Doing Sod-all
Troughers oink! oink! oink! HOONS & ANTI LIBERTARIANS. Business as usual.
Bottom Feeders. Sick of them.
A small pool of applicants to fish in . . . You have got absolutely no idea what you are talking about. It is a closed shop, an exclusive club, available only to select people. This awful, elitist, anti-democratic crap represents so much of what is dreadful about this unfair, and misery inducing plutocracy.
How many of them attended private school? I’ll take a guess at all of them. How man of them went to Oxbridge? Again, all is likely. How many of them had influential and powerfully placed parents who got them in? Well, you get the point.
What passes for politics in Britain is privilege, favour, cronyism, nepotism. The idea of social mobility is laughable here.
What’s wrong with being rich, good fellow?
I agree. REAL social mobility will only happen when the lard-arses get off their sagging sofas and raise the energy to throw a brick at something more fortunate than themselves.
Politics should have nothing to do with common people, they are an embarrassing joke.
If you want proof, look at Dennis Skinner, John Prescott and Jim Devine and tell me they are worthy of a place in politics?
We don’t want “social mobility”
We want the fucking Government to leave us and our money alone
They used to have an escape route through via local grammar school but the smug Labour spivs pulled the ladder up after them and sent their children to private schools.
Or Nokias
Labour, Tory, Liberal. It makes no difference because the levels of exclusion now are so complete that you can confidently start thinking in terms of the different nations of Britain.
The New lot – Lamp posts or up against a wall?
We’re still formulating our policy detail in regard to this. Can we get back to you ?
It was all done in the name of fairness, now unless you wealthy everyone can expect a shit education.
Being rich is a totally disgraceful state of affairs, its nothing more than blatant exploitation of the productive classes, that’s why I’m backing Ed Miliband for Leader of the Labour Party…. bloody hell Glenys! just looked at the exchange rate, our 15 million MEP Euros are now only worth £12 million Sterling, how can we possibly afford that new build designer castle in Wales now…….. up the workers Boyo!
‘It was all done in the name of fairness’ –sure it was. Fairies also exist at the bottom of the garden.
They exist at the bottom of my ‘garden’.
We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.
We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.
That was supposed to appear under Trev Skint. One oh three.