May 24th, 2010

More SpAd’s

Further to the first list of special advisers earlier here are a few more:

Andrew Mitchell – Philippa Buckley. Guido never reveals sources, but someone got in touch who is very proud of his little girl!

Eric Pickles – Sheridan Westlake (who many thought would never leave CCHQ alive) and Giles Kenningham.

Philip Hammond – Sian Jones

Theresa May – Nick Timothy and Fiona Cunningham

Oliver Letwin – Martha Varney

Liam Fox – Luke Coffey and Oliver Waghorn

William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.

Caroline Spelman – Simon Cawte. Let’s hope this time his pay is all in order.

Sir George Young – Robert Riddell

Jeremy Hunt – Sue Beeby and Adam Smith

Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government?  Keep it coming.


  1. 1
    Engineer says:

    Mine’s the one on the left.

  2. 2
    Peasant says:

    Same old, same old. Out with the old, in with the slightly less old. Business as usual.

  3. 3

    Prior to its abolishion, I was invited to become adviser to the Potato Council Quango – That would have made me A SpUd SpAd!

  4. 4
    gone fuckin mental says:

    fuckin hells bells

  5. 5
    barry shitpeas says:

    “Perhaps if the government open sourced their information” – What does that mean? Can any MP/SpAd even write code in the first place?

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    Give me a job

  7. 7
    Tom FD says:

    We were invited to join the government, but then the Tories didn’t win an outright majority and the invitation had to be amended so it only applied to the Liberal Democrats.

  8. 8
    Geoff Hoon says:

    Are you missing me yet?

  9. 9
    Catflap says:

    Politics has now got fuck all to do with Politics any more.
    Forget the quality feel the width 24hr rolling ball sacks in fucking suits and skirts with a Blackberry for genitals.

  10. 10
    Celebrate and embrace something even if it is shit says:

    No,now let me get on with my Huhne work you Hoon.

  11. 11
    no longer anonymous says:

    Would that be this Sheridan per chance?

  12. 12
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Might have guessed! Plenty of troughers!

  13. 13
    Liam Fox is a total cock - well he is, isn't he? says:

    I never thought I would argue in favour of employing more spads but Liam Fox is such a dopey fucking wanker he will need at least 20 to operate around the clock to prevent the cock from stop putting his foot in his mouth.
    The bloody idiot.

  14. 14
    cast iron Dave says:

    “Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government? “

    Looks like that very first promise is the first promise to go the way of the cast iron guarantee.

  15. 15
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Reeminder of the Labour Hoons! Brownites!

  16. 16
    Kammy (unbelivable Geoff) says:

    Is that paul merson in the middle?

  17. 17
    Liam Fox is a total cock - well he is, isn't he? says:

    and judging by the look on her face she is reading one of your stalker texts with a picture of you teabagging your boyfriend.

  18. 18
    Citizens Advice says:

    It means they would not need special advisers, just someone to tell the minister what the public are advising.

  19. 19
    Supressed cock expert says:

    Are you obssesed with cock ??

  20. 20
    Catflap says:

    A spUD U like :)

  21. 21
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    2 many cooks spoil the broth! Hoons

  22. 22
    AC1 says:

    Some sad news for us veteran Order-Order Commenters

  23. 23
    Liam Fox is a total spastic - well he is, isn't he? says:

    No, but I have my suspicions that you are suffering from OCD judging by the way you keep going on about it.
    Liam Fox is total fucking spastic.
    Happy now?

  24. 24
    Nowt wrong with taking it up the arse! says:

    are they all gay ?

  25. 25
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Too fecking thick to make a decision for themselves!

  26. 26
    Ed balls says:

    No as good looking as my boyfriend

  27. 27
    Thick as Thieves says:

    This is a cut too far !!!

    David Laws just announced Twitter posts to be cut to 90 characters.

  28. 28
    Tatwatch says:


  29. 29
    Dave says:

    twitter is for twats

  30. 30
    No Hope says:

    Jesus, you get rid of one bunch of shysters!!

    Arminca Helic, WTF!

    ..and I thought Hague was not too bad!

  31. 31
    john skinner says:

    Martha Karney? The pro-Labour BBC woman?
    I don’t believe it!

  32. 32

    Is that why Derek Simpson likes fiddling with his Blackberry whilst Willie Walsh watches on?

  33. 33
    Tatwatch says:

    Definitely not thick as thieves, for two obvious reasons. Firstly, the post is far too witty to be from the diseased mind of tat, and secondly, tat never uses upper case.

  34. 34
    Dave says:

    Whens next pmqs?

  35. 35
    The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ? says:

    “Too many twitters make a twat”

  36. 36
    Minister for Climate change and Poachers to Gamekeepers says:

    Welcome to the Huhne office.
    I embrace change, in fact I celebrate it every night with my wife.
    Party poppers and a bottle of fizzy,the fucking works.
    But there is change of which I must speak.
    Not shirts,vests and pants but CLIMATE.
    It is fine for a politician to change I do it all the time but ClIMATE…never.

  37. 37
    Nick says:

    I agree with Dave

  38. 38
    The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ?) says:

    Wednesday …?

  39. 39
    Engineer says:

    Looks distressingly like Jonathan Woss.

  40. 40
    Spad Spy says:

    The Age of Austerity is upon us – Who’s paying and how much?

  41. 41
    Dave says:

    shit , i better start praticing

  42. 42
    RavingMad says:

    I would go so far as to say this was incest. Ex-ministers and advisors swapping roles. Failed candidates turning up as advisors. Anyone who’s anyone in the ‘heirarchy’ of spin and machinations is recruited in the burgeoning massive that is government Presumably most of them are totally unable to do anything else. A lifetime weedling their way through parliamentary cupboards and filing cabinets. Bet there’s not one of them can change a fucking light bulb – but they know a man who can – fucking traitors and charlatans and sycaphants the lot of them

  43. 43
    Fido the dog says:


  44. 44
    Martin Day says:

    See you all tomorrow chaps

    Purple People flashmob tomorrow @ State Opening of Parliament 10.30am

  45. 45
    Sir William Waad says:

    I’m sorry to see than Ray Alan has died, but he must have been so proud to see his dummy become Prime Minister.

  46. 46

    It’s all being replaced by an RSS feed from the Daily Mail comments section.

    Guido was considered as a source, but the constant replacement by the mod script of references to politicians by the word ‘Hoon’ was considered unsafe, as £5000 per day would be too much of a drag on public spending.

  47. 47
    Matthew Amawillywally says:

    Ah, good. Normal service has been resumed. We don’t want a revolution now, do we?
    Over to Daniel for the weather. Pheew, hot isn’t it Dan? My foundation is melting! How hot is it and can I get any hotter?

  48. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    It’ll be such a feather in the little fellow’s cap if he DOES succeed in changing the climate. He could then move on to changing the force of gravity, or altering Planck’s Constant.

    “Ye cannae change the laws o’ physics!” (Montgomery Scott)

  49. 49

    David Miliband responds by composing all his Tweets in Hebrew, which only has consonants.

    Unfortunately this leads to Labour MPs mistakenly invading the West Bank rather than the West End for their Friday afternoon session.

  50. 50
    Engineer says:

    Let’s face it, not many people would want a job like that, so they only have a small pool of applicants to fish in. The thing most of us detest most about work is the office politics, so there’s no way we’d want to be involved with that crowd. Much safer to just snipe anonymously from the sidelines on somebody else’s blog.

  51. 51
    Damien McBride says:

    If anyone wants an adviser for smear campaigns, I’m available. I’m good at that sort of thing. Oh, wait. I was caught. Maybe I’m not good at it.

  52. 52
    Liam Fox is a total spastic - well he is, isn't he? says:

    Please form an orderly queue for autographs.

  53. 53
    anon says:

    That is sad indeed. Unhappy day.

  54. 54
    The Red Baron of Westminster says:

    These SPADs need a good FOKKER.
    Fokker fodder the lot of them.

  55. 55
    The Beast of manchester says:

    Would you drink with any of them?
    £50 says that in the published photo they were all either on the phone to another spadstic trying to get a f*** or it was an old school friend that they needed to borrow this months rent from.
    Can I use the word C;unts?

  56. 56
    David Cameron says:

    Look Nick, I really need to take a shit, I am absolutely busting.
    Is that okay?

  57. 57
    Breaking News says:

    thatcher to challenge dave for leadership of the tory party

  58. 58
    Nick says:

    that was not part of the deal dave

  59. 59
    AC1 says:

    Your Children and Everything

  60. 60
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Oh half them will be gone by Friday. Useless

  61. 61
    David Cameron says:

    Right, I’ve just been given permission by Nick to take a shit and I curled up a big turd but now I need to wipe my arse.
    Nick, is it okay if I wipe my arse now?
    Is that alright?

  62. 62
    Dave 'I say one thing then do the opposite' Cameron says:

    Let’s face it engineer, they are as thick as thieves.

  63. 63
    Peggy Mitchell says:

    Get owwwt of my pub yer all baarrred!

  64. 64
    Hellboy88 says:

    Phillipa Stroud as SPAD to IDS – now there’s a pair of open minds – not.

  65. 65
    AC1 says:

    Only thing you’re signing is signing onto the dole.

  66. 66
    Gordon Brown says:

    its all thatchers fault !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  67. 67
    The Golem says:

    My thoughts too. Don’t these zombies have functioning brain cells of their own? All this hand holding in the corridors of power seems highly dubious to me.

  68. 68
    Lil Olmey says:

    Oliver Letwin will be travelling on the buses then.

  69. 69
    Hoon Sale now on! says:

    Buy 2 get 1 free! Kerrrrchiinnng!

  70. 70
    WokinghamChris says:

    As I have remarked elsewhere, Ray Alan was great. It’s just that his co-star Lord Charles was a bit wooden.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    A small pool of applicants to fish in . . . You have got absolutely no idea what you are talking about. It is a closed shop, an exclusive club, available only to select people. This awful, elitist, anti-democratic crap represents so much of what is dreadful about this unfair, and misery inducing plutocracy.

  72. 72
    Gordon Brown says:

    I cant belive how ungrateful you all are , I did abolish boom and bust and i saved the world .

    If you dont elect me again i will send balls round to sign your postal voting form

  73. 73
    Sir William Waad says:

    Phillippa, Giles, Sheridan, Fiona, Martha, Arminca and Chloe, names that clatter off the tongue like a drawer of silver spoons.

  74. 74
    Dodgy Del Market Trader says:

    Business as useuall!

  75. 75
    AC1 is a total spastic too! says:

    I’ve never signed on before.
    You are an expert dole scrounger AC1, tell us how one goes about scrounging from the state?

  76. 76
    The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ?) says:

    I think you’ll find the answer on page 33 of The Coalition Document…

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    How many of them attended private school? I’ll take a guess at all of them. How man of them went to Oxbridge? Again, all is likely. How many of them had influential and powerfully placed parents who got them in? Well, you get the point.

    What passes for politics in Britain is privilege, favour, cronyism, nepotism. The idea of social mobility is laughable here.

  78. 78
    denverthen says:

    Guido removed a post – about a gay Tory MP. How come?

  79. 79
    Laura Tobin says:

    It’s Laura to you, Matthew **giggle**. BTW – purple is sooo you! Yes, we’ve had a heatwave in the Westminster area for a few days but expect much cooler temperatures over the next few weeks and watch as the fluffy blossom finally starts to fall from the Prunoideaes.

  80. 80
    bergen says:

    That is sad indeed.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    coz he can

  82. 82
    Double Dip Dave says:

    What’s wrong with being rich, good fellow?

  83. 83
    AC1 says:

    Ah “incapacity” benefit it must be then TaT.

  84. 84
    Even More Anon says:

    I agree. REAL social mobility will only happen when the lard-arses get off their sagging sofas and raise the energy to throw a brick at something more fortunate than themselves.

  85. 85
    John Prescott says:

    I’m one!

    You did say spaz, didn’t you?

  86. 86

    I think Fawkes realised that a lot of piss taking was about to come his way.

    Can’t think why……………

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Dont tell me the tories have banned piss taking?

  88. 88

    No you wont, just wankers with dogs on string.

  89. 89
    The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ?) says:

    Absolutely NOT…we’ve had open and frank discussions with our coalition partners and have agreed to appoint a Royal Commission to investigate all sides of the argument..they should report before the end of this Parliament in 2015 or possibly not

  90. 90
    Old Tramp with access to internet at local soup kitchen says:

    I keep getting a feeling of Deja Vu.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:


  92. 92
    Sir William Waad says:

    They used to have an escape route through via local grammar school but the smug Labour spivs pulled the ladder up after them and sent their children to private schools.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Labour, Tory, Liberal. It makes no difference because the levels of exclusion now are so complete that you can confidently start thinking in terms of the different nations of Britain.

  94. 94
    OK ! HELLO ! and Goodbye !! says:

    Who are you ?

  95. 95
    lolol says:

    We’ve changed the rosettes from red to yellow and blue,we’ve changed the spin from red to yellow and blue,were even changing the kitchen, but we can only pretend we’ve changed the politicians and hangers on as it appears we owe them all a livelyhood.

  96. 96
    Nicodemus Jones says:

    It’s alright for you mate I has to clear up afterwards wiv all kinds of crud beer cans donna kebabs condems and all kinds. The stink goes on hours after theyve gone back to their squots.

  97. 97
    Shit Shifter says:

    All the old shit being put in place under a diff. name.

  98. 98
    Sarah Brown says:

    Thats my Hero

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    100th !!!!!!!!!!!!

  100. 100
    Still can't decide says:

    The New lot – Lamp posts or up against a wall?

  101. 101
    anon says:

    Stop projecting AC1.

  102. 102

    Politics should have nothing to do with common people, they are an embarrassing joke.

    If you want proof, look at Dennis Skinner, John Prescott and Jim Devine and tell me they are worthy of a place in politics?

  103. 103
    Alan Mullet says:

    There’s more than one of you, then?

  104. 104

    Er! are we paying for this lot? The taxpayer that is???? If so I’m getting seriously pissed off!!! Glad I’m self employed…. Can adjust a few things!!!!!!

  105. 105
    IMF says:

    With your proven track record in destroying healthy economies we would love to welcome you on board.

  106. 106
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    I thought the turkey baster is your hero.

  107. 107

    ‘Arminca Helic’

    I thought that was a font.

  108. 108
    The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ?) says:

    We’re still formulating our policy detail in regard to this. Can we get back to you ?

  109. 109
    RavingMad says:

    Engineer, okay

    but they’re running the fucking country. Imbeciles, wonks, morons alternatively known as advisors – what life experience do they have? who are they accountable to? who pays? Oh I know, just let’s fork out the money, lie back and watch the country decimated by them. Complain a lot and vote the next lot in to do the same. Democracy? SHAMOCRACY

    Artiface, brutality and innocence

  110. 110

    We don’t want “social mobility”

    We want the fucking Government to leave us and our money alone

  111. 111
    Mr Plum says:

    It was all done in the name of fairness, now unless you wealthy everyone can expect a shit education.

  112. 112
    Gordon Brown says:


  113. 113
    Ginger Taff says:

    Being rich is a totally disgraceful state of affairs, its nothing more than blatant exploitation of the productive classes, that’s why I’m backing Ed Miliband for Leader of the Labour Party…. bloody hell Glenys! just looked at the exchange rate, our 15 million MEP Euros are now only worth £12 million Sterling, how can we possibly afford that new build designer castle in Wales now…….. up the workers Boyo!

  114. 114
    Alan Mullet says:

    Get lost saddo

  115. 115
    Mr Plum says:

    Beats my record.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    ‘It was all done in the name of fairness’ –sure it was. Fairies also exist at the bottom of the garden.

  117. 117
    streamfisher says:

    EPNS, no probity, car boot sale.

  118. 118

    So this is Cameron`s promise of slashing bureaucracy! `Natura; wastage` is not the same as `cuts`. Just look what Cameron`s `progressive` candidate in Malton and Thirk is saying about her local bureaucracies – nothing!

    Public sector spending in Malton and Thirsk, which includes many Councils, might include cuts in the following:

    – Moors National Parks, a hihj bureaucratic cost body with no democratic control, has just announced the purchase of 14 additional new range rovers for their `growing` team of park rangers. Why does an uncultivatec natural park need this enormous bureaucracy – park `facilities` should be minamilised and run privately at profit.

    -Ryedale District Council has just `restructured` its senior management `team` with new titles and increased salaries for iits staff. For its size and responsibilities it has an enormous HQ staff of 250 (not including the workers!), involves itself in trivial decisions and advice, and constantly adds to its specialist staff. A staff of 50 would be generous for the fulfilment of their duties.

    Other Councils within the constituency behave similarly.

    Why don`t the Tories expose this as an election issue?

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    Sir George Young – Robert Riddell – any relation to Tom Riddell of Lord Voldemort fame by any chance?

  120. 120
    Mandy says:

    They exist at the bottom of my ‘garden’.

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    What an-uber-Hunt.

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    The Tory candidate Ann McIntosh, who most local Tories want deselected, is herself a Eurocrat.

  123. 123
    Sick of it says:

    More useless hoons & troughers. I am depressed with it all, I really am.

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron change = No change.

    Why not cut bureaucracy levels to what they were in 1997?

    Only as a starting point, of course!

  125. 125
    Double Dipshit UK says:

    Dregs of the old politics.

  126. 126
    New Labour is dead! says:

    Sheridan Westlake, one never forgets a name like that. Tosser.

  127. 127
    An Anonymous Phoney Pharoah says:

    William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.

    Perhaps he is one of those people who thinks the 21st Century started on 1 1 2000 in which case he would have the required number.

  128. 128
    An Anonymous Phoney Pharoah says:

    OOOOOH ER! Red and yellow mixed together gives Orange

  129. 129
    denverthen says:

    Well, if he will trawl gay apps when his wife’s away. Smelt a bit Oaten, that.

  130. 130
    The shit list says:

    dire makeblog filler even for you Fawkes
    seriously, who gives a fuck

  131. 131
    Observant Diner says:

    If they’re so fucking useless that they need advisors, what the fuck are they doing there in the first place.
    Sack the c’unts and get someone who knows what they’re doing without needing their hand held,

  132. 132
    Observant Diner says:

    We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.

  133. 133
    Observant Diner says:

    We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.

  134. 134
    Observant Diner says:

    That was supposed to appear under Trev Skint. One oh three.

  135. 135


    when a SpAd asks me what I think before he advises a govt minister on what I think will be a day our grandchildren will talk about.

  136. 136
    I kept us out of the Euro - you ingrates says:

    What’s a SpaD between friends? You’re surely nitpicking Guido its worth it for the greater good. This coalition has hit the ground running and now they are going to disprove my theory that introducing early cuts would tip us into a double dip recession!

    Maybe I was wrong on this one?

  137. 137
    easyleys says:

    I’d love to hear some definitions of a spAD or spADS

    Starter for 9.5

    “Some pillocks Advised Dave’s Surrender

  138. 138
    Dave Bush says:

    Where were all these jobs advertised?

  139. 139
    Jacobs cream crackers says:

    you are clearly a libdem with a long memory

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    In railway accident reports: “Signal Passed At Danger” – usually leads to a greater or lesser disaster

  141. 141
    Mr Know It ALL says:

    Cummings had a blazing row with someone in the Edu Dept, possibly I hear, the permanent sec.

    Also, David Willetts has appointed/will appoint Nick Hillman.

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    So does Sheridan Westlake still worship at the altar of Alan B’Stard and play Dungeons and Dragons in his spare time, wishing he was a Paladin – he certainly did in the 6th Form at RGS Guildford…

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Too many twitters make a bassa negotion

  144. 144
    Now I see it says:

    Maybe the cunning plan is to engage a couple of dozen spads and then they can do away with 90% of the civil service. Works for me!

  145. 145
    Now I see it says:

    The world is a big place to keep an eye on. Still he can chop the FCO budget by 50% now he has all these, er, diplomatic experts. No?

  146. 146
    Now I see it says:

    Nope – it means Stop Pissing About Dave, See?

  147. 147
    Now I also see it too says:

    SPADS = Several People Are Doing Sod-all

  148. 148
    New Labour is dead! says:

    I’ve heard that his real name at RGS Guildford was Nicholas, but he changed it to Sheridan for effect. He was the hub of the OUCA idiots at Oxford in the late 1990s.

  149. 149
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Or Nokias

  150. 150
    Hoons says:

    Troughers oink! oink! oink! HOONS & ANTI LIBERTARIANS. Business as usual.

  151. 151
    Losers says:

    Bottom Feeders. Sick of them.

  152. 152
    anon says:

    Spastics pissing away dollars?

  153. 153
    Anonymous says:

    I only ever knew him as Sheridan, though I was one year above him.

    The moment he was allowed to wear a suit to school instead of uniform, he was dressed like Alan B’Stard.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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