May 24th, 2010

More SpAd’s

Further to the first list of special advisers earlier here are a few more:

Andrew Mitchell – Philippa Buckley. Guido never reveals sources, but someone got in touch who is very proud of his little girl!

Eric Pickles – Sheridan Westlake (who many thought would never leave CCHQ alive) and Giles Kenningham.

Philip Hammond – Sian Jones

Theresa May – Nick Timothy and Fiona Cunningham

Oliver Letwin – Martha Varney

Liam Fox – Luke Coffey and Oliver Waghorn

William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.

Caroline Spelman – Simon Cawte. Let’s hope this time his pay is all in order.

Sir George Young – Robert Riddell

Jeremy Hunt – Sue Beeby and Adam Smith

Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government?  Keep it coming.


  1. 1
    Engineer says:

    Mine’s the one on the left.


    • 14
      cast iron Dave says:

      “Perhaps if the government open sourced their information as promised they wouldn’t need so many advisers, weren’t we all invited to join the government? “

      Looks like that very first promise is the first promise to go the way of the cast iron guarantee.


    • 17
      Liam Fox is a total cock - well he is, isn't he? says:

      and judging by the look on her face she is reading one of your stalker texts with a picture of you teabagging your boyfriend.


    • 26
      Ed balls says:

      No as good looking as my boyfriend


    • 104

      Er! are we paying for this lot? The taxpayer that is???? If so I’m getting seriously pissed off!!! Glad I’m self employed…. Can adjust a few things!!!!!!


    • 130
      The shit list says:

      dire makeblog filler even for you Fawkes
      seriously, who gives a fuck


      • 135


        when a SpAd asks me what I think before he advises a govt minister on what I think will be a day our grandchildren will talk about.


    • 136
      I kept us out of the Euro - you ingrates says:

      What’s a SpaD between friends? You’re surely nitpicking Guido its worth it for the greater good. This coalition has hit the ground running and now they are going to disprove my theory that introducing early cuts would tip us into a double dip recession!

      Maybe I was wrong on this one?


  2. 2
    Peasant says:

    Same old, same old. Out with the old, in with the slightly less old. Business as usual.


    • 67
      The Golem says:

      My thoughts too. Don’t these zombies have functioning brain cells of their own? All this hand holding in the corridors of power seems highly dubious to me.


  3. 3

    Prior to its abolishion, I was invited to become adviser to the Potato Council Quango – That would have made me A SpUd SpAd!


  4. 4
    gone fuckin mental says:

    fuckin hells bells


  5. 5
    barry shitpeas says:

    “Perhaps if the government open sourced their information” – What does that mean? Can any MP/SpAd even write code in the first place?


    • 18
      Citizens Advice says:

      It means they would not need special advisers, just someone to tell the minister what the public are advising.


    • 46

      It’s all being replaced by an RSS feed from the Daily Mail comments section.

      Guido was considered as a source, but the constant replacement by the mod script of references to politicians by the word ‘Hoon’ was considered unsafe, as £5000 per day would be too much of a drag on public spending.


  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    Give me a job


    • 105
      IMF says:

      With your proven track record in destroying healthy economies we would love to welcome you on board.


  7. 7
    Tom FD says:

    We were invited to join the government, but then the Tories didn’t win an outright majority and the invitation had to be amended so it only applied to the Liberal Democrats.


  8. 8
    Geoff Hoon says:

    Are you missing me yet?


    • 10
      Celebrate and embrace something even if it is shit says:

      No,now let me get on with my Huhne work you Hoon.


  9. 9
    Catflap says:

    Politics has now got fuck all to do with Politics any more.
    Forget the quality feel the width 24hr rolling ball sacks in fucking suits and skirts with a Blackberry for genitals.


  10. 11
    no longer anonymous says:

    Would that be this Sheridan per chance?


  11. 12
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Might have guessed! Plenty of troughers!


  12. 13
    Liam Fox is a total cock - well he is, isn't he? says:

    I never thought I would argue in favour of employing more spads but Liam Fox is such a dopey fucking wanker he will need at least 20 to operate around the clock to prevent the cock from stop putting his foot in his mouth.
    The bloody idiot.


  13. 15
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Reeminder of the Labour Hoons! Brownites!


  14. 16
    Kammy (unbelivable Geoff) says:

    Is that paul merson in the middle?


  15. 21
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    2 many cooks spoil the broth! Hoons


  16. 22
    AC1 says:

    Some sad news for us veteran Order-Order Commenters


  17. 24
    Nowt wrong with taking it up the arse! says:

    are they all gay ?


  18. 25
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Too fecking thick to make a decision for themselves!


  19. 27
    Thick as Thieves says:

    This is a cut too far !!!

    David Laws just announced Twitter posts to be cut to 90 characters.


  20. 30
    No Hope says:

    Jesus, you get rid of one bunch of shysters!!

    Arminca Helic, WTF!

    ..and I thought Hague was not too bad!


  21. 31
    john skinner says:

    Martha Karney? The pro-Labour BBC woman?
    I don’t believe it!


  22. 34
    Dave says:

    Whens next pmqs?


  23. 36
    Minister for Climate change and Poachers to Gamekeepers says:

    Welcome to the Huhne office.
    I embrace change, in fact I celebrate it every night with my wife.
    Party poppers and a bottle of fizzy,the fucking works.
    But there is change of which I must speak.
    Not shirts,vests and pants but CLIMATE.
    It is fine for a politician to change I do it all the time but ClIMATE…never.


    • 48
      Sir William Waad says:

      It’ll be such a feather in the little fellow’s cap if he DOES succeed in changing the climate. He could then move on to changing the force of gravity, or altering Planck’s Constant.

      “Ye cannae change the laws o’ physics!” (Montgomery Scott)


  24. 40
    Spad Spy says:

    The Age of Austerity is upon us – Who’s paying and how much?


  25. 42
    RavingMad says:

    I would go so far as to say this was incest. Ex-ministers and advisors swapping roles. Failed candidates turning up as advisors. Anyone who’s anyone in the ‘heirarchy’ of spin and machinations is recruited in the burgeoning massive that is government Presumably most of them are totally unable to do anything else. A lifetime weedling their way through parliamentary cupboards and filing cabinets. Bet there’s not one of them can change a fucking light bulb – but they know a man who can – fucking traitors and charlatans and sycaphants the lot of them


    • 50
      Engineer says:

      Let’s face it, not many people would want a job like that, so they only have a small pool of applicants to fish in. The thing most of us detest most about work is the office politics, so there’s no way we’d want to be involved with that crowd. Much safer to just snipe anonymously from the sidelines on somebody else’s blog.


      • 62
        Dave 'I say one thing then do the opposite' Cameron says:

        Let’s face it engineer, they are as thick as thieves.


      • 109
        RavingMad says:

        Engineer, okay

        but they’re running the fucking country. Imbeciles, wonks, morons alternatively known as advisors – what life experience do they have? who are they accountable to? who pays? Oh I know, just let’s fork out the money, lie back and watch the country decimated by them. Complain a lot and vote the next lot in to do the same. Democracy? SHAMOCRACY

        Artiface, brutality and innocence


  26. 43
    Fido the dog says:



  27. 44
    Martin Day says:

    See you all tomorrow chaps

    Purple People flashmob tomorrow @ State Opening of Parliament 10.30am


    • 88

      No you wont, just wankers with dogs on string.


    • 96
      Nicodemus Jones says:

      It’s alright for you mate I has to clear up afterwards wiv all kinds of crud beer cans donna kebabs condems and all kinds. The stink goes on hours after theyve gone back to their squots.


  28. 45
    Sir William Waad says:

    I’m sorry to see than Ray Alan has died, but he must have been so proud to see his dummy become Prime Minister.


    • 70
      WokinghamChris says:

      As I have remarked elsewhere, Ray Alan was great. It’s just that his co-star Lord Charles was a bit wooden.


  29. 47
    Matthew Amawillywally says:

    Ah, good. Normal service has been resumed. We don’t want a revolution now, do we?
    Over to Daniel for the weather. Pheew, hot isn’t it Dan? My foundation is melting! How hot is it and can I get any hotter?


    • 79
      Laura Tobin says:

      It’s Laura to you, Matthew **giggle**. BTW – purple is sooo you! Yes, we’ve had a heatwave in the Westminster area for a few days but expect much cooler temperatures over the next few weeks and watch as the fluffy blossom finally starts to fall from the Prunoideaes.


  30. 51
    Damien McBride says:

    If anyone wants an adviser for smear campaigns, I’m available. I’m good at that sort of thing. Oh, wait. I was caught. Maybe I’m not good at it.


  31. 54
    The Red Baron of Westminster says:

    These SPADs need a good FOKKER.
    Fokker fodder the lot of them.


  32. 55
    The Beast of manchester says:

    Would you drink with any of them?
    £50 says that in the published photo they were all either on the phone to another spadstic trying to get a f*** or it was an old school friend that they needed to borrow this months rent from.
    Can I use the word C;unts?


  33. 57
    Breaking News says:

    thatcher to challenge dave for leadership of the tory party


  34. 60
    Libertarian in slave sandals says:

    Oh half them will be gone by Friday. Useless


  35. 61
    David Cameron says:

    Right, I’ve just been given permission by Nick to take a shit and I curled up a big turd but now I need to wipe my arse.
    Nick, is it okay if I wipe my arse now?
    Is that alright?


  36. 63
    Peggy Mitchell says:

    Get owwwt of my pub yer all baarrred!


  37. 64
    Hellboy88 says:

    Phillipa Stroud as SPAD to IDS – now there’s a pair of open minds – not.


  38. 66
    Gordon Brown says:

    its all thatchers fault !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  39. 68
    Lil Olmey says:

    Oliver Letwin will be travelling on the buses then.


  40. 69
    Hoon Sale now on! says:

    Buy 2 get 1 free! Kerrrrchiinnng!


  41. 72
    Gordon Brown says:

    I cant belive how ungrateful you all are , I did abolish boom and bust and i saved the world .

    If you dont elect me again i will send balls round to sign your postal voting form


  42. 73
    Sir William Waad says:

    Phillippa, Giles, Sheridan, Fiona, Martha, Arminca and Chloe, names that clatter off the tongue like a drawer of silver spoons.


  43. 74
    Dodgy Del Market Trader says:

    Business as useuall!


  44. 78
    denverthen says:

    Guido removed a post – about a gay Tory MP. How come?


  45. 85
    John Prescott says:

    I’m one!

    You did say spaz, didn’t you?


  46. 90
    Old Tramp with access to internet at local soup kitchen says:

    I keep getting a feeling of Deja Vu.


  47. 95
    lolol says:

    We’ve changed the rosettes from red to yellow and blue,we’ve changed the spin from red to yellow and blue,were even changing the kitchen, but we can only pretend we’ve changed the politicians and hangers on as it appears we owe them all a livelyhood.


  48. 99
    Anonymous says:

    100th !!!!!!!!!!!!


  49. 112
    Gordon Brown says:



  50. 118

    So this is Cameron`s promise of slashing bureaucracy! `Natura; wastage` is not the same as `cuts`. Just look what Cameron`s `progressive` candidate in Malton and Thirk is saying about her local bureaucracies – nothing!

    Public sector spending in Malton and Thirsk, which includes many Councils, might include cuts in the following:

    – Moors National Parks, a hihj bureaucratic cost body with no democratic control, has just announced the purchase of 14 additional new range rovers for their `growing` team of park rangers. Why does an uncultivatec natural park need this enormous bureaucracy – park `facilities` should be minamilised and run privately at profit.

    -Ryedale District Council has just `restructured` its senior management `team` with new titles and increased salaries for iits staff. For its size and responsibilities it has an enormous HQ staff of 250 (not including the workers!), involves itself in trivial decisions and advice, and constantly adds to its specialist staff. A staff of 50 would be generous for the fulfilment of their duties.

    Other Councils within the constituency behave similarly.

    Why don`t the Tories expose this as an election issue?


    • 122
      Anonymous says:

      The Tory candidate Ann McIntosh, who most local Tories want deselected, is herself a Eurocrat.


  51. 119
    Anonymous says:

    Sir George Young – Robert Riddell – any relation to Tom Riddell of Lord Voldemort fame by any chance?


  52. 123
    Sick of it says:

    More useless hoons & troughers. I am depressed with it all, I really am.


    • 124
      Anonymous says:

      Cameron change = No change.

      Why not cut bureaucracy levels to what they were in 1997?

      Only as a starting point, of course!


  53. 125
    Double Dipshit UK says:

    Dregs of the old politics.


  54. 126
    New Labour is dead! says:

    Sheridan Westlake, one never forgets a name like that. Tosser.


    • 142
      Anonymous says:

      So does Sheridan Westlake still worship at the altar of Alan B’Stard and play Dungeons and Dragons in his spare time, wishing he was a Paladin – he certainly did in the 6th Form at RGS Guildford…


      • 148
        New Labour is dead! says:

        I’ve heard that his real name at RGS Guildford was Nicholas, but he changed it to Sheridan for effect. He was the hub of the OUCA idiots at Oxford in the late 1990s.


        • 153
          Anonymous says:

          I only ever knew him as Sheridan, though I was one year above him.

          The moment he was allowed to wear a suit to school instead of uniform, he was dressed like Alan B’Stard.


  55. 127
    An Anonymous Phoney Pharoah says:

    William Hague – Denzil Davidson, Arminca Helic and Chloe Dalton. Seems Hague didn’t get the memo about only having two SpAds.

    Perhaps he is one of those people who thinks the 21st Century started on 1 1 2000 in which case he would have the required number.


    • 145
      Now I see it says:

      The world is a big place to keep an eye on. Still he can chop the FCO budget by 50% now he has all these, er, diplomatic experts. No?


  56. 131
    Observant Diner says:

    If they’re so fucking useless that they need advisors, what the fuck are they doing there in the first place.
    Sack the c’unts and get someone who knows what they’re doing without needing their hand held,


  57. 137
    easyleys says:

    I’d love to hear some definitions of a spAD or spADS

    Starter for 9.5

    “Some pillocks Advised Dave’s Surrender


  58. 138
    Dave Bush says:

    Where were all these jobs advertised?


  59. 141
    Mr Know It ALL says:

    Cummings had a blazing row with someone in the Edu Dept, possibly I hear, the permanent sec.

    Also, David Willetts has appointed/will appoint Nick Hillman.


  60. 147
    Now I also see it too says:

    SPADS = Several People Are Doing Sod-all


  61. 150
    Hoons says:

    Troughers oink! oink! oink! HOONS & ANTI LIBERTARIANS. Business as usual.


  62. 151
    Losers says:

    Bottom Feeders. Sick of them.


  63. 71
    Anonymous says:

    A small pool of applicants to fish in . . . You have got absolutely no idea what you are talking about. It is a closed shop, an exclusive club, available only to select people. This awful, elitist, anti-democratic crap represents so much of what is dreadful about this unfair, and misery inducing plutocracy.


  64. 77
    Anonymous says:

    How many of them attended private school? I’ll take a guess at all of them. How man of them went to Oxbridge? Again, all is likely. How many of them had influential and powerfully placed parents who got them in? Well, you get the point.

    What passes for politics in Britain is privilege, favour, cronyism, nepotism. The idea of social mobility is laughable here.


  65. 82
    Double Dip Dave says:

    What’s wrong with being rich, good fellow?


  66. 84
    Even More Anon says:

    I agree. REAL social mobility will only happen when the lard-arses get off their sagging sofas and raise the energy to throw a brick at something more fortunate than themselves.


  67. 102

    Politics should have nothing to do with common people, they are an embarrassing joke.

    If you want proof, look at Dennis Skinner, John Prescott and Jim Devine and tell me they are worthy of a place in politics?


  68. 110

    We don’t want “social mobility”

    We want the fucking Government to leave us and our money alone


  69. 92
    Sir William Waad says:

    They used to have an escape route through via local grammar school but the smug Labour spivs pulled the ladder up after them and sent their children to private schools.


  70. 149
    Gerry Mandering says:

    Or Nokias


  71. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Labour, Tory, Liberal. It makes no difference because the levels of exclusion now are so complete that you can confidently start thinking in terms of the different nations of Britain.


  72. Still can't decide says:

    The New lot – Lamp posts or up against a wall?


  73. The Coalition View on this subject is(if that's ok with you Nick ?) says:

    We’re still formulating our policy detail in regard to this. Can we get back to you ?


  74. Mr Plum says:

    It was all done in the name of fairness, now unless you wealthy everyone can expect a shit education.


  75. 113
    Ginger Taff says:

    Being rich is a totally disgraceful state of affairs, its nothing more than blatant exploitation of the productive classes, that’s why I’m backing Ed Miliband for Leader of the Labour Party…. bloody hell Glenys! just looked at the exchange rate, our 15 million MEP Euros are now only worth £12 million Sterling, how can we possibly afford that new build designer castle in Wales now…….. up the workers Boyo!


  76. 116
    Anonymous says:

    ‘It was all done in the name of fairness’ –sure it was. Fairies also exist at the bottom of the garden.


  77. Mandy says:

    They exist at the bottom of my ‘garden’.


  78. 132
    Observant Diner says:

    We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.


  79. 133
    Observant Diner says:

    We need more men of the calibre of Anthony Steen, Alan Duncan and Nicholas Winterton.


  80. Observant Diner says:

    That was supposed to appear under Trev Skint. One oh three.


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