May 18th, 2010

The Case for Speaker Ming

Iain Dale reports that Ming Campbell is to throw his hat into the ring if and when the ‘Noes’ challenge the Speaker’s confirmation this afternoon.

Speakers-OfficeThis changes the dynamics of the situation greatly, Ming is respected across the benches, and unquestionably has the gravitas and dignity which would bring credit to the house. As a former silk he has the ability and authority to command respect, whereas John Bercow has on a number of occasions been on the edge of losing control of the House.  The Squeaker certainly has lost self control.

People forget that Ming was one of twelve candidates for the position of Speaker when Betty Boothroyd stood down in 2000, but he lost out to Michael Martin. The House of Commons might have cause to regret that decision and may be minded to seize this second chance. Ming has one other great unspoken factor in his favour.

He isn’t John Bercow.

UPDATE : The betting has opened with Bercow heavily favoured to retain the Speakership.


  1. 1
    Tannoy says:

    Tannoy for Speaker

  2. 2
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    With Cast Iron as his Flash Gordon what could possibly go wrong?

  3. 3
    Javelin says:

    If the new MPs want to make a clear statement that things have really changed then vote for Ming.

  4. 4
    MI5 says:

    There needs to be a serious campaign to get Ming elected Speaker

    Time is running out and there are many new boys and girls in this Parliament

    Ming will only be elected by getting the movement up and running now as you are doing Guido

    But we need to know the real level of support for Squeaker as well

    The Scottish Labour mafia now have far less influence, thank God

    But where do Clegg Cameron and their whips stand on this

    There seems to be an ominous silence

    Politics cannot be cleaned up with serial flipper and expense trougher Squeaker still there…we want “new politics” as well

  5. 5
    Stereo says:

    “He isn’t John Bercow.”

    Like Dave and Nick weren’t Gordon. So perhaps we’ll end up with two speakers.

  6. 6
    Bob the Builder says:

    I am getting tired of having to provide Squeaker with my ladder all the time

    And his wife is a disgrace, not even scrubber material…and a Zanu candidate

    Where is the impartiality of the Office FFS ?

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    He should reinstate the garb:

  8. 8
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    One less rebel leader in the Limp Dim ranks, in next week’s news Charles Kennedy is offered Embassy in Outer Mongolia.

  9. 9
    Two Down says:

    How would it leave the coalition if Minger became speaker and Bercow became Labour?

  10. 10
    me2 says:


  11. 11
    Trinny says:

    If Bercow is no longer speaker which side of the house will he sit on?

  12. 12
    Sunday Morning says:

    Nice one! And begs another question. In this age of supposedly more open politics should it not become a rule that any MP changing his party alignment has to resign and stand for election in the name of that party?

    And should Bercow be forced to step down as Speaker, should he not anyway represent himself in front of his electorate, this time without the convention applied of the main parties not standing against him?

  13. 13
    Thick As Thieves says:

    I’m right behind the campaign to get Nadine Dorries elected as Speaker, you know it makes sense

  14. 14
    TER and always talks abut bumrape ! says:

    Chief taster for the scotish whiskey industry would be better for old pisspot Charlie !

  15. 15
    TANGO BLAIR says:

    Chief taster for the scotish whiskey industry would be better for old pisspot Charlie !

  16. 16
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:

    Westminster will close ranks though. The front benches won’t want to openly oppose the Speaker, and the newbie MPs will do what their whips tell them.

    All praise to Harpic, who left the proposal for the Speaker’s election to be a secret ballot off the paper, because she didn’t want the Tories getting rid of Bercow. Looks like she’ll get her wish.

    Stupid of the House, really, because that little scumbag being embroiled in a career-ending scandal is an “if” not a “when”

  17. 17
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yes, quite right, anyone but Bercow. His position as one of the infamous troughers is completely untenable, and always was. Let’s face it, if NuLiebour MPs thought his appointment was a good idea then we should ditch him without a second thought.

  18. 18
    Tessa Tickles says:

    This makes sense, it’s tried and tested.

    The BBC used to have only one person reading the news, now they employ two, to do one person’s job. So why not do that in the Commons, as well? Ming could start every sentence, and some blond-bimbo sidekick with big knockers could complete them for him.

  19. 19
    Mr Plum says:

    Are you sure he is up to it, he looks like he is ready for a nice armchair and a werthers

  20. 20
    Little Johnny Jerkoff says:

    I don’t care, I’ve got my pension. You can all go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

    P.S. Vote Labour. My wife does.

  21. 21
    David Byrne says:

    I stopped making sense years ago. You should try this.

  22. 22
    Two Faces says:

  23. 23
    photo ex machina says:

    Erm isnt he like 130 yrs old?

  24. 24
    More power for the Liberals says:

    Of course if it they can’t guaranteed it to be Ming then the Conservative can forget about replacing Bercow.

  25. 25
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    When considering the position of Speaker Bercow we would be well advised to discount the words of embittered and partisan hacks, especially when there is a substantial constitutional argument to be made. Before New Labour brought dishonour to the position of Speaker, it was understood that the Speaker had to be supported by all sides of the House. Mr Bercow’s election depended upon the block vote of a party who chose for party-political reasons with the express purpose of discomforting a future tory government. As I remember, not a single Conservative MP supported Mr Bercow. Thus, the legitimacy of his appointment is in question. I would suggest that a challenge to Mr Bercow is justified in that in a traditionally free vote, We will end up with a speaker who does command the support of all parts of the House. If the vote is decided upon partiality and the desire for revenge, then the new Speaker will be as tarnished as the old. I personally believe that Bercow is a pillock, but I am more concerned that the office of Speaker will be confirmed as a party-political football rather than, as it should be, the defender of Parliament against an authoritarian Executive.

  26. 26
    Mad Nads the Expenses Mega-Troughing Piggy says:

  27. 27
    Mr Plum says:

    If you have two speakers how a a woofer

  28. 28
    Mr Plum says:

    Oops should have been about a woofer

  29. 29
    Hugh Janus says:

    Could we make it the basement? He can take his vulgar wife with him. Both out of sight and out of mind. Problem is, our MPs are famed for being a gutless little club, and I have no doubt that the new intake will maintain this terrible reputation when the whips spell out the facts of life.

  30. 30
    Montgomery Cheddar says:

    It might do, but Nadine doesn’t.

  31. 31

    Can anyone explain the steps taken to de select and re select a speaker, do they just yell out yea or nay when given a choice or what?

    Is it typical archaic parliamentary practice?

    Incidentally, i think Ming would be perfect.

  32. 32
    Ecclesiastes says:

    Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
    If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
    But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

  33. 33
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    If he’s got any sense, he’ll take the traditional eerage and become a cross-bencher. He’ll then get the elbow when we have an all-elected Upper House.

  34. 34
    Ming Ming Sputnik says:

  35. 35
    More Tories Please says:

    Don’t give the Squeaker ideas otherwise he’ll get his wife to be part of the double act. More troughing.

  36. 36

    Well at least Ming is not Blinky, it’s a wonder with his leadership campaign not cleared by Yvette yet, he hasn’t thought of throwing his hat in the ring.
    Now think of that swiveled eye twat in the Speaker’s chair!

  37. 37
    Grumpy Old Man says:


  38. 38
    Ed's favourite Butt Plug says:

    How the hell did Bercow survive the election process?

  39. 39
    Sub Woofer says:

    The house is already full of Tweeters

  40. 40
    nell says:

    I do hope if they do manage to get rid of squeaker that he doesn’t end up in the Lords like gorbalsmick!

  41. 41
    REEVO says:

    In the mould of the last speaker Gorbals Mick, Bercow is an odious money grabbing little shit of the first order his troughing is renown, hell he could even give Caroline Spelman and her husband a few lessons.

  42. 42
    The Morris Marina a nasty log laid by British Leyland says:

    Toilets Maguire was a joke last night. Yet again the big nosed geordie twat ‘claimed’ that unemployment hadn’t risen as high thanks to the one eyed mong, but the price of that had been the 170 billion deficit.

    What utter shit. No private sector jobs have been saved by the mong. What saved private sector jobs were the lack of left wing twat trade unions. Private sector workers were able to do deal with their companies to take pay freezes, pay cuts, unpaid holiday, early retirement and so on.

    Not one job in the private sector was saved by the jock mong. As for the public sector, who gives a fuck? I’d sack the lot.

  43. 43
    Twistwum Hunt says:

    What ho comwades! Did you hear me make a bell end of myself on the Today pwogramme, Uncle Mandy gave me a list of things to say wegardless of the qwestion asked, and I ended up looking like some twot who’d been parachuted into a constituencey peopled by fwightful smelly wotters! Which is the case!

    Toodle pip, up the workers, yo ho ho and a bottle if Bolly!

  44. 44
    photo ex machina says:

    Tru dat

  45. 45
    The Invisible Man says:

    Ha, ha. Almost everyone isn’t Bercow.

  46. 46
    On Harman Pride's Dossier says:

    I meant, of course “when not if”

    When does the pub open?

  47. 47

    Sally Bercow IS a woofer.

  48. 48
    Nae Hawkers, nae Tinkers, nae Campbells says:

    Happy to see Berco go, elected by stich up, deselected by stich serves him well.

    Can’t stand Ming but he would make an excellent Speaker.

  49. 49
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Better get a move on then, You’ve got until 1430 today.

  50. 50
    purrdey says:

    Ming may not be John Bercow, but he’s as left wing as they come in the Lib Dems (which in some cases is way to the left of Labour).
    Of course, John Bercow’s other problem (apart from being unable to command authority) is that his socialist wife will be blowing in his ear, making sure that he gives her mates in the Labour party plenty of ‘airtime’.

  51. 51
    Spot the Dog says:

    yop yop yop

  52. 52
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    especially as it’s spelt “whisky” The Other stuff is Irish, American, Welsh , Indian or Japanese

  53. 53
    Mr Plum says:

    The 170 billion was only about saving labour from a complete wipe out in the election the jobs will still go

  54. 54
    filipinomonkey says:

    To lose one speaker may be regarded as unfortunate, to lose two looks like carelessness…

  55. 55
    rinky.stingpiece says:

    Alas, Frankie Field’s been taken out of the running.

    They could always try an Ulster MP… how about Sylvia Herman?

  56. 56
    Sino Die says:

    Vote Ming for an end to the nu liebore dynasty.

  57. 57
    Bob the Builder says:

    On the fence like any good Cabbie

  58. 58
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Lots of people voted for him.

  59. 59
    Stepney says:

    Really? Swap one greedy troughing bastard for another?

    Ming is winged by his appearance on QT during the expenses saga.

  60. 60

    What else is there to do in Outer Mongolia?

    A few cases of Chivas Regal a month would be a small price to pay for ridding the coalition of this turbulent crofter!

  61. 61
    Denon says:

    And one or two crossovers

  62. 62
    Sir William Waad says:

  63. 63
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    Who are you calling a woofer ??

  64. 64
    robert says:

    Nadine Dorries for Speaker. She is far more attractive than the New Labour biased dwarf with the inflated ego.

  65. 65
    Sir William Waad says:

    What sort of hat does Ming wear, do you think? I think a deerstalker in the country and a simple bowler in town.

  66. 66
    The last quango in paris says:

    We know they favour ed so now evertime he asks him a q we will be suspicious! His wife refers to people as smackheads and spends her
    time slating the Tories – there isno place for that in the role – if they want respect
    they need to start from the top -

  67. 67
    Sally Bigcow says:

    You bastards !! I’ve just had the who place re-decorated !!

  68. 68
    Chill out Charlie says:

    If I recall, the liebore MPs voted for him to annoy the tories…ffs.

  69. 69
    amongomous says:

    There’s no point choosing Minger Campbell the old fart will be dead soon!

  70. 70
    blue flute says:

    Bercow is a monkeys cock

  71. 71
    RT says:

    Will his heart hold out? There’s a lot of shouting involved.

  72. 72

    Beats wearing a picklehaube like Blinky does when he is playing with Mrs. Balls.

  73. 73
    Selohesra says:

    Judging by past practice he would not have to stand for re-election as he would be go direct to House of Lords – competetion time to choose his title – how about Lord Slimeball of Useless

  74. 74
    Meg O'Fone says:

    Vote for me, I’m the best candidate for Speaker.

  75. 75
  76. 76

    Agreed – not another partisan placeperson please.

  77. 77

    A foil one I think.

  78. 78
    raisethegame says:

    When the SNP won most seats at the last Holyrood election in Scotland Ming Campbell was caught secretly plotting with his mate Gordon Brown to stop Alex Salmond becoming First Minister. He likes to portray himself as some kind of honourable elder statesman but by that act alone he showed he was prepared to sideline democracy for party interest. This man is a chancer.

  79. 79
    W.W. says:

    If bercow falls, I don’t want someone to help him up, I want someone who is going to stick the boot into the odious, pompus, useless little shit.

    And that scrubber of a wife of his.

    The fact he is speaker in the first place says a lot about the place. He is even worse than that old buffon Martin.

    The fact his fool of a wife is a Labour MP, is unbelieveble, who was she up against for selection, and what kind of utter moron put a croos against her name?

    That these two people are in any kind of position of power, shows the depths this country has plumbed.

  80. 80
    iain says:

    Good God no. Ever hear her screechy harridan voice?

  81. 81
    Not as good as the original says:

  82. 82

    Ming at work:

  83. 83
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Is Mark Oaten in the running?

  84. 84
    Maximus says:

    He was probably thinking of the public sector jobs which McSnotgobbler was creating right up to May 6. What Toilets has probably never recognized is that the increased value in GDP that McGobbler’s Darling achieved since the bottom of the recent recession was exceeded by a factor roughly of 10 in the cost to the national debt. This of course is not incompetent accounting, but gerrymandering on a criminal scale.

  85. 85
    P Dant says:

    Why does nobody seem to know what “begs the question” means?
    It doesn’t mean “invites the question”.

  86. 86
    Organ grinder's monkey's cock says:

    No hen I know would ever go near Bercow.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    When the SNP won most seats at the last Holyrood election in Scotland Ming Campbell was caught secretly plotting with his mate Gordon Brown to stop Alex Salmond becoming First Minister. He likes to portray himself as some kind of honourable elder statesman but by that act alone he showed he was prepared to sideline democracy for party interest. This man is a chancer.”


    Remember the above, my morris dancing friends, before you put your x in the wrong place!

    YOU, of ALL nations, should know by now what happens when you elect Scottish Liebour thugs and their cohorts! Don’t let it happen again!

  88. 88
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    I think that the rejection of a sitting speaker is without precedent, certainly in modern times, and maybe at any time since 1376 when the office was created. There have been some speakers considered as partisan within the last century and a half, e.g. William Shepherd Morrison.

    So since the formality of re-appointment occurs, it would appear sufficient to hear cries of “No!” from the house which should then necessitate an election under the new 2000 rules. It is interesting that since that change, the house has not had a satisfactory speaker.

  89. 89
    Sally Bercow, housewife says:

    I should point out that Sally the Bike isn’t an MP or anything else.


    Ms Bercow, who has faced criticism for being a Labour activist married to a Conservative MP, was standing for Labour in the St James ward of Westminster City Council in the 2010 election. Her political ambitions were stalled when she lost the election, obtaining only 868 votes. This was about 1,000 less than her nearest rival.

  90. 90
    mortgaged to the hilt and then some says:

    I fear people leap for that expression with more haste than good speed.

  91. 91

    No he got a silver plated one on expenses but he’s gonna flip it for a gold one soon.

  92. 92
    Backwoodsman says:

    …..apart from the very large elephant in the room that you’re all ignoring – wasn’t the old boy in favour of limp dims chumming up with labour. Serious lack of judgement which should immediately disqualify him !

  93. 93
    Webcrawler says:

    As he’s not an MP, no.

  94. 94
    A Taff says:

    Welsh Whisky is also spelt without the ‘e’.

  95. 95
    We're All 'Cleggons' Now says:

    Ming The Merciless for Speaker! – the only drawback is that he, too, has a dreadful Wife – Elspeth the Irritating.

    Still, judging by our recent experiences of Speaker’s Wives (Gorbals Mick and Squeaker both had awful ‘Appendages’) perhaps it is now a prerequisite for a Speaker to have a suspect Spouse?…

  96. 96
  97. 97
    W.W. says:

    You wife certainly ‘does’ by all accounts.


  98. 98
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Morning sir! No elephants spotted here in sunny Llandudno …. yet!!!

  99. 99
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Dear WW. I hate to intrude on a good rant, but the flagrant Slaggy Bercow is not an MP but a failed local council candidate.

  100. 100
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    My Apologies – it just tastes like it should be spelt with a “e”.

  101. 101
    Quentin Langley says:

    Ming Campbell would be the worst possible choice for Speaker. Challenged on his dubious expenses claims he offered the most pathetic excuse imaginable: that the climate of public opinion was different at the time.

    Of course it was, you pratt. We didn’t know about the abuse of expenses at the time. It is a bit like Peter Sutcliffe saying people thought he was a decent bloke before they found out about the murders. He more or less said that he did it because he thought he would never get caught.

    When it comes to the expenses scandal – the single thing which has done most to damage the reputation of Parliament for centuries – Ming just doesn’t get it.

    He could never be the face of reform.

  102. 102
    Catosays says:

    Also known as Sally ‘bury me in a Y-shaped coffin’ Bercow.

    With apologies to Blackadder.

  103. 103
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Cruel but accurate.

  104. 104
    Stepney says:

    Dozy bastards. Video – the fastest redundancy of any technology.

  105. 105
    Stepney says:

    No he’s in the runny.

  106. 106
    We're All 'Cleggons' Now says:

    Bring Back Betty!!!!

  107. 107
    Smig says:

    “If and when the ‘noes’ challenge the Speaker’s confirmation”.

    Big IF. The Whips will be clamping down on the recent incumbents to Westminster. The newbies either will be too scared or lacking in knowledge to challenge the Whips.

  108. 108
    Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

    What a smug, self satisfied, pompous prick this little Berk is!!-this shows him in his true light.
    Nadine, kick his fat little arse out the Speakers chair-this diminuitive Toady loves the idea of dispensing the robes of office notwithstanding his simultaneous determination to demand respect for his office will not wash.

    This man has no respect.No authority and as such should be removed from office forthwith.

  109. 109
    Michael68000 says:

    Mings outstanding ability to NOT be John Bercow makes him an ideal candidate.

  110. 110

    Vote Bercow.

  111. 111

    Come in, No. 157 – your time is up!

  112. 112


    I’d have put you as a beigel type myself…

  113. 113

    Bercow was re-elected, so his constitunts deserve that horror, the crooks in the house elected him, so they deserve Bercow, so whats new pussycat . . . . oh . . . same old faces same old (_:_)rseholes . . . reform tossed into the river . . . we get what we deserve . . . .

  114. 114
    That's News says:

    So a bet against Bercow might be worth it?

  115. 115
    That's News says:

    Don’t know so much. Nadine’s email to them all might be a clincher.

    Either way it goes, Bercow is self-damaged goods and might not last his term…

  116. 116
    That's News says:

    No, the worst possible choice was Speaker Martin, followed closely by Bercow.

  117. 117
    Sunday Morning says:

    P dant…if we were all p dant then the language would suffer from a dearth of expressions. The trick of communication is to use language in a way people understand it, whether it is technically right or wrong.

  118. 118
    That's News says:

    The original of these adverts was weird. We saw the character’s flesh rot off his bones, then he went into the routine!

  119. 119
    Hugh Janus says:

    If only it were that simple. The Squeaker stands between today’s supine MPs and an over-powerful Executive. It is high time that we selected someone of stature and a certain independence of thought. I’m not saying that old Ming is necessarily that person, but Bercow definitely isn’t.

  120. 120
    Smig says:

    I’m not convinced that there will be a majority of noes.

    Although recent events may yet lead to further surprises.

    Bercow is, as you say, self-damaged goods. A new Speaker may help to give an impression that the sweeping away of the Old Guard is being accomplished.

    “Here comes the new boss, same as the old boss” is still playing inside my head though.

  121. 121
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    No Sunday morning, I do not agree. P Dant is right. Words can and should communicate exact meanings to give precision to what you need to say and what needs to be understood. There are too many ignorant people who do not know the right word and then grasp the nearest thing to hand giving the phrase a distorted meaning.

    Being precise will not cause a dearth of expression it will improve it. After all there are hundreds of thousands of words to chose from in the English language.

  122. 122
    Martin Day says:

    Same old Tories

    Hat Tip politicsworld

    George Osborne’s father-in-law given plumb job. #ukpolitics

  123. 123
    Thick As Thieves says:

    Old Holborn for Speaker

  124. 124
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Noo! She’s not exactly eye-candy, is she?

    Most of Dave’s Tattler Totty got slaughtered in the election, but one or two might have made it through. They ought to be bimbo enough.

  125. 125
    anon says:

    good to see anew parliament beginning in the time celebrated manner – no change in the systems and the squalor of the legislature then

  126. 126
    Sunday Morning says:

    ..and many of the words we have in the English language exist through error or have present day meaning distorted from the original meaning. Buttonhole is an example…it would never have come into being if people had continually corrected it as button-hold :-)

  127. 127
    It's all complete ball cocks says:

    This is a load of hyped up nonsense….here’s a certainty…at close of the proceedings Bercow will still be Speaker and the “Cunning Plot” led by Dorries and Co will have run into the sand and come to nothing…….

  128. 128
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    There’s a lot more fun to be had baiting Bercow than mocking Ming. Anyway, is anyone missing that miserable bastard Brown?

  129. 129
    The Escaping Fox says:

    I think Adam Boulton should do it.

  130. 130
    Duncan says:

    “The betting has opened with Bercow heavily favoured to retain the Speakership.” – Iain Dale says voting is public and as such reckons new MPs will vote for the incumbent, not wanting to make enemies.

  131. 131
    Duncan says:

    Actually, and if you fish out the retraction the Telegraph printed you’ll confirm this, Ming pointed out that his expenses claim for an interior decorator was set against two decades of what were consistently some of the lowest expenses claims in the house. The reason for this is because he stays in a tiny bedsit as his London residence and, when he became party leader, was told he had to have it done up so he figured (not unreasonably) that it would be legitimate to spend his second home allowance on his second home. He has since been given to understand that this isn’t the case anymore in ‘the current climate’.

    “Sir Menzies said he believed that the claims to refurbish his one-bedroom flat were “within the spirit and letter of the rules”.
    “I have rented a studio flat at Dolphin Square for 20 years, during which time I have had no substantial claims for maintenance,” he said.
    “I have a protected rent until 2034, which together with the parking place come to less than £800 per month.”
    He was faced with a choice of renting a large property –costing the taxpayer more – or having the flat renovated. ” –

  132. 132
    Duncan says:

    “Greedy troughing bastard” – the guy lived in a bedsit for 20 years without doing it up for fear of ripping off the taxpayer. If you think Ming is a ‘trougher’ you’re essentially ruling out any but the new intake of MPs from being speaker.

  133. 133
  134. 134
    Cream Puff says:

    Ah Ming Campbell
    Yes elect him speaker, at 69, he will be able to nod off and no will notice
    by the time the next election comes in 5 years time, he will be 74 and dribbling
    Unkind? not really

  135. 135
    Living with the real people in NW3 says:

    I agree.. He reminds of that other total prick… the Lord Archer…

  136. 136
    Miguel M says:

    Ming abused his expenses and is totally uncceptable as speaker.

  137. 137
    Eddie Booth from Love Thy Neighbour says:

    The only ones with the ‘e’ are Irish and USA.

    Everywhere else is spelt whisky.

    # So if you see Whisky
    # and it has an ‘e’,
    # only take it,
    # if you get it for free!

  138. 138
    Alan Philip Bonggg says:

    Well, there are more Tory MPs now now of course than when when Bercow was chosen as speaker. He was only elected asa result of a vindictive action by Labour MPs, so if MPs voted according to their convictions, Bercow would be elected out.

  139. 139
    Early Bird says:

    Cleave is a useful word meaning to cling together or split asunder. Confused?

  140. 140
    The Ambassador's Drinks Cupboard Guardian says:

    How many times do I have to tell you WE DON’T WANT HIM!!!

  141. 141
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    There’s no shame in it, the bitch is one of my top earners at the parliamentary escort agency. Unlike Sarah fucking Teather. Where are the chubby chasers when I need them?

  142. 142
    A Guardian says:

    Is this therefore plumb line?

  143. 143
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    The double act you really want is the Sally Bercow/ Caroline Flint two girl. Roll up chaps, £250 the pair, today’s special offer. Throw in an extra tenner and you can get Sarah Teather too.

  144. 144
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    She bloody well does. The milf lovers go mad for her, and for an extra twenty she’ll wear her old nurse’s uniform. It’s one of the proper ones with stockings, like Barbara Windsor used to wear, not the shapeless pant suits the fat slags wear nowadays. Hospital’s just no fun any more is it chaps?

  145. 145
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    She’s more likely to be fisting him. He likes the more assertive sort of lady, does our John, or “lickspittle worm” as his good lady likes to call him at home. The great advantage of living in the Palace of Westminster is that you can make good use of the dungeons. And why not?

  146. 146
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    He can’t talk with his mouth full.

  147. 147
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    Hand job’s fifty, blow job’s eighty, full sex one fifty, an extra fifty for anal. Or if you get her absolutely shitfaced, you’ll probably find it’s free. No head for business that girl, but fair play, she does put out.

  148. 148
    Disco Biscuit says:

    He isn’t a finer silk…

  149. 149
    Laddie says:

    or Canadian.

  150. 150
    Uranus, The Magician says:

    The little shit had to “dragged” to the chair – plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

  151. 151
    Little Johnny Jerkoff says:

    Plainly I don’t want you goyish types squirting your population paste over my ethnic foodstuffs.

  152. 152
    Ratsniffer says:

    What a totally pathetic, lilly livered bunch of arsholes. They had the chance to make this a fresh parliament, but they re-elect this oily little idiot. Nothing changes really, does it?

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