May 17th, 2010

Baldemort Repents

Just in via email from Liam Byrne:

“My letter was a joke, from one Chief Secretary to another. I do hope David Laws’ sense of humour wasn’t another casualty of the coalition deal.”

The problem is that many will think “In Humour Veritas”…


123 Comments

  1. 1
    The last quango in Paris says:

    so there is money left? fabulous.

    Perhaps he can tell us where.

    • 9
      Liam Byrne says:

      fuck off and bring me a coffee

    • 29
      PM says:

      Patronising, bald-headed c**t.

    • 33
      Ancient Proverb says:

      Many a true word said in jest.

      • 80
        Anonymous says:

        I hope Laws has the letter ostentatiously framed and put in a prominent place in his office

    • 42
      I used to believe in democracy before Postal voting says:

      What a follicaly challenged pratt. I hope he is opposition for the next twenty years. Thats how long it will take to pay of our debts.

      • 47
        Cleopatra the Cat says:

        So he thinks the biggest deficit in the EU and 15% of EU total debt is just a joke?

        I’m so glad he’s in opposition!

    • 56
      Up sh1t creek says:

      The party is over, now the hangover payments….

    • 96
      Ripsnorter says:

      No c**t – it’s in Vino veritas. You must have been pissed to write it.
      Did you really think that note could possibly be funny under ANY circumstances.

    • 120
      L'Oncle Vanya De Caesaromagus now owned by the Kommie Kommizzars of EU-rine-Land says:

      The problem is that it is said… “Many a True Word is Spoken in Jest!”

      This time Liam Bynre’s was telling the truth…… were ‘a fooked…. don’t panic Captain Osbourne… don’t panic…..

  2. 2
    English John says:

    Afraid Baldemort is being truthful for the first time in his life. I’m Starting to feel a lttle sorry for ZanuLiebour supporters. No Really. The Marx brothers are planning to take charge. For Eddie and Dave read Groucho and Harpo, or Karl if you wish. Only competition is Adolf Balls! Now it’s OK to get yourself a Polish builder for your new extension, or a Polish plumber when the central heating packs in, but porentially running the country.

  3. 3
    Number 7 says:

    Baldemort might think it’s a joke – Those of us who are going to have to pay for their marxist experiment don’t!

  4. 4
    Ghost of Greg Stone says:

    Sadly it is not a joke, it is true.

  5. 5

    OT

    Your chance to have multicultural fun and celebrate our “diversity”, thanks to New Labour!!

    http://www.crimestoppers-uk.org/wanted/search/12/1/drug-crime/87/beginning/all/5/

  6. 6
    KASHMIR REBEL says:

    THIS ISNT WHAT LIAM BYRNE SAID TO THE INHABITANTS OF KASHMIR IN THE LEAD UP TO THE ELECTION WHEN HE WAS WOOING THE COMMUNITY LEADERS THERE WITH MILLIONS OF POUNDS. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW HE INCREASED HIS MAJORITY LOOK NO FURTHER.

  7. 7

    Indeed – many a truth is told in jest.

    We should have a few public enquiries – and maybe a trial or two – that look into financial negligence. That would test Baldemorts’s sense of humour……

  8. 8
    Antisthenes says:

    Ha bloody ha!

  9. 10
    bill kearns says:

    I fear it is the epitaph that will appear on the gravestone of New Labour and will be used evermore against the Labour Party. Mr Byrne would not have been remembered for his contribution to government at the Treasury but he will now have a place in history. Sad.

  10. 11
    Hugh Janus says:

    Oh my aching sides.

    Trust NuLiebour to suggest that bankrupting the country is somehow amusing.

  11. 12
    avseer says:

    A joke? No that was the Labour government’s over spending and Quango coalition of get rich on the tax payer, alliance! Liam Byrne is a complete and utter idiot if he finds that amusing!

  12. 14
    Prettypolymath says:

    Looks like the antisemites have started to come out of the woodwork re labourleadership.

    Guido, please remove comments from English john

    • 24
      Revisionist History Destroyer says:

      fuck off the j’ews are not a race it is an invented identity.

    • 31
      Pot calling kettle says:

      I seem to recall, quite accurately, as it happens, that no sooner had Michael Howard become leader of the Conservative Party, Labour-supporting papers suddenly started banging on about him being a Jewish immigrant.

      • 79
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        And there was the “pigs might fly” labour poster.

      • 82
        Great-grandson of an Irishman (immigrated 1852) says:

        He was born in Gorseinon, Swansea. I suppose it might be argued that he immigrated into England from Wales, as did Presclott.

  13. 16
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    These hand over notes have been quite common over the years.
    However past politicians with wit, intelligence and humour have written much better notes rather than a limp attempt that will come back to haunt him and his party

  14. 17

    Guido reports: Just in via email from Liam Byrne:

    “My letter was a joke, from one Chief Secretary to another. I do hope David Laws’ sense of humour wasn’t another casualty of the coalition deal.”

    No Liam we are all laughing our socks off, just as I have found out this morning that Lord Treason has not only killed off the UK World Cup bid for the next 100 years, but at one time he was a fully paid up member of the Communist Party! Perhaps Soho Square will now remove the frosted glass at their flash Soho Square Offices.. we need to see how many red flags are flying ..all together now …”The in the Red Flag is….

    • 19

      You would have thought MI5 would have spotted him.
      I mean, the names a bit of a giveaway isn’t it?

    • 26
      Revisionist History Destroyer says:

      Alot of us knew this more than fifteen years ago and told you all in 1997. That voting for Labour was voting for communists.

      More than half of the front bench where former commie party members. The information was freely avaliable.

      • 60
        stilyagi_air_corps says:

        Indeed it was. Shame no fucker wanted to touch the fact with a bargepole.

    • 92
      Anyone But England says:

      UK world cup bid? When was that then? I thought it was an England world cup bid – designed, as are the London Olympics, to shove the obsession with finding a post-colonial role for the failed state that is the UK down the throats of the people of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, while making us pay for it.

  15. 18
    Dunlaggin says:

    Liam Byrne for leader of the Labour party- and I’m not joking!

    • 67
      Snotfunny Any More says:

      I’m not joking either – I’ve backed him at c180 on Betfair.

      But he is a sick joke, like his party. Imagine the mindset which can leave a message like that, and think it amusing, given the massive debt in which these hoons have left us.

      The same mentality which found the proposed japes for the Pope’s visit funny, I suppose – ie infantile

      • 77
        filipinomonkey says:

        Vote banana, you know it makes sense…

      • 81
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        didn’t Liam Byrne write the hugely hilarious “10 point guide to a new MP” of something similar a few days ago?

        • 88
          Snotfunny Any More says:

          No that was one of the other top hoons, Dennis McShane
          That one thinks jokes about ripping off the taxpayer are funny

        • 103
          Honest View says:

          I remember him giggling with glee when being interviewed about the 10p tax fiasco. (I think it was on “Daily Politics”).
          Let’s face it, he’s a bundle of fun.

  16. 21
    THE MACHINE GUNNER. says:

    Lets have the final ACT.
    The OLD BAILEY TRIAL.
    THE SENTENCE.
    THE LINE UP.
    THE PULLING OF THE TRIGGER.
    NEW LABOUR GONE FOR EVER.

  17. 25
    DJPNZ says:

    I am still trying to precisely locate the humour in this. Son of Himmler (as Byrne should be known) is responsible, in part for allowing our nation’s finances to be destoyed. If it didn’t appear too frivolous I would almost go as far as to say that the entire Labour government should be indicted for Treason.

    To laugh and joke about a matter such as this clearly demonstrates the contempt with which Labour regarded this nation.

    • 72
      English Liberation Front says:

      Yes, he does remind me of Heinrich Himmler. He is a nasty spud indeed. He personifies everything I detest about smarmy, ambitious, left-leaning arseholes who live like feudal lords whilst espousing socialism to the rest of us.

      • 94
        Boycott Tesco says:

        OK, ELF. You’ve Ed Bollox and Leeeamm Byrne up against the wall. There’s one round in your revolver. Which turd bites the bullet?

        • 110
          Wing Commander Spry says:

          Neither – I’d save the bullet for myself just in case either of these biffers ever got into another position of power.

      • 105
        Honest View says:

        “Espousing” means “getting married to”. I imagine you mean “spouting”.

  18. 28
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Ed’s special handwriting lessons had a very quick payback.

  19. 30
    Batty Bradshaw says:

    We left a surplus after Gordon saved the world. This talk of a huge deficit is just Tory spin from the Murdoch press.

  20. 32
    Braveheart says:

    “I do hope David Laws’ sense of humour wasn’t another casualty of the coalition deal”

    If David Laws has sense of humour… doesn’t seem the type to me.

    And it’s pretty clear that most of the contributors here can’t take a joke either… A pretty mulish bunch if you ask me….

    ……comes from too much reading and believing the Dail Mal…….Headline of the day, every day….”We’re all doomed…”.

    Cheer up lads, you’re in power now you can sell off the NHS with impunity, bring back clause 28, pretend France is cordoned off, ban garlick, drive up poverty, sack nurses, make Lord Ashdown legal…

    It’s a brave new dawn, enjoy…..

    • 83
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      You are the guys who sack nurses. Your NHS commissars managed to get your “Economy measures” retaliation in first for being soundly rejected by the county of Kent. (also known as the “All Blues”). The long nightmare will not be over until the socialist cancer is finally expunged.

    • 109
      Lord and Lady Whiff Whaff says:

      No we can’t take a joke about this, because too many decent people are going to have to pay for what labour have done. I despise them.

      Do you mean garlic? as we are not sure what garlick is

      Do you mean the Daily Mail?

      Do you mean Lord Ashdown (as in Paddy) or Aschcroft?

      just checking.

    • 111
      revolting peasant says:

      Labour has already started secretly privatising the NHS.Several ex Labour MPs receive cash from private health firms.
      Labour privatised the railways.
      Labour introduced university tuition fees.
      The gap between the rich and poor widened under Labour.
      Several multi millionaire nom doms contributed Labour party coffers and were rewarded with peerages.
      You’re a bunch of fucking hypocrites and that’s just one of the reasons you lost the election.

    • 115
      Zaragon says:

      If we are guilty of reading the Daily Mail – what have you been reading? The Ladybird book of New Labour Lies it would seem. If any public sector workers do lose their jobs don’t you think that might be related to Liam Byrne’s little side-splitter? Unfortunately we can’t pay people with New Labour lies. If only we could – we’d all be as rich as Tony Blair.

  21. 34
    Braveheart says:

    DJPNZ; “I am still trying to precisely locate the humour in this. Son of Himmler (as Byrne should be known)…”…

    Might just be clue in that sentence why you don’t see the humour DJPNZ.

    Try reading it again, a bit more carefully. See if you get the point……

  22. 35
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    Hi Mr Byrne,
    If you’re still reading, can you please get cancer as soon as possible? Thanks.

  23. 38
    Penfold says:

    Words said in jest often have a more subtle undertheme……………………

  24. 39
    Blinky Balls says:

    Uuh, I think Liam did, uum, a tewiffic job in govewnment. He’s, uuh, a man of gweat integwity and, uum, gweat pwobity. Uuh, I will be wunning for leader and, uum, I would be vewy pwoud to have him in my, uum, shadow cabinet. Uuh.

  25. 41
    Pip says:

    What a complete and utter — I am so glad this “note” was made public, says everything you need to know about Byrne and his disgusting scorched earth party. The note was not in the least funny – it was a spiteful, crowing little missive and he was too utterly stupid to realise it would be made public.

    • 70
      Madme Defarge says:

      Yup dismal little wretch. Anyone with half a brain would have known that it was in very poor taste to leave a jokey note of that nature when the money really has run out and we are facing meltdown.

      • 106
        Honest View says:

        Could it be that Labour lost interest in the Libs when they realised the joy of cheating the Tories out of their election win was not as great as the misery of having to sort out the dungheap they themselves have left behind?

  26. 43
    Peter Sutcliffe says:

    let me out for the day i’ll go to his house and tell him some of my jokes

  27. 44
    program get with says:

    What the note should have said is ‘Labour woz ere’. That would kind of sum up their fiscal policies and edjukashun.

  28. 45
    SAS veteran says:

    Your majesty, give the word and I will remove the enemies of the state known as Labour and New Labour. For Queen and Country.

  29. 49
    Anonymous says:

    A joke,. Yes that’s what this country’s economy has been to Labour. This is the respect they show the people. The biggest debt for decades and they leave office with one sentence.

    Its a relief not to hear their barracking defence of the indefensible party lines anymore. What a relief to hear the coalition government talking sense and debating intelligently and with great knowledge.

  30. 51
    I hate Labour says:

    Where’s that burka wearing muslim bitch who stabbed Timms? She could have at least gone after a c-unt who deserves it.

  31. 52
    Anonymous says:

    He was pissed, but in vino veritas.

    Great slogan for the Tories in the next election though.

  32. 53
    The Watcher says:

    Just leaving the subject a moment to note what my better half says re the Millie’s.

    1. Dave Millie has the face resembling a monkey.( spot on i reckon)
    2. Ed Millie is a dead ringer for Wallace’s nephew in creature comforts. What a pair of Bozo’s.

    • 102
      Rufus Stone says:

      And Tessa Jowell looks the spitting image of Wendolene, Wallace’s love interest in one of the animations.

  33. 55
    IOU from Labour says:

    Cough up Labour.

  34. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Liam is such a wag…I bet David Laws was rolling on the floor laughing when he read Liam’s note! It is little gestures like this that make one realise what a prat Byrne is!

  35. 59
  36. 61
    Unite is in charge now says:

    Oh, he’s a real wag that Liam isn’t he? He was always well known for his witty one liners and comedy acts during the New Liebour catashtrophe, particularly when viciously smearing an opponent.
    We’ll really miss him I feel

  37. 63
    iain says:

    What a spiteful little note.
    Maybe, as another hilarious little joke, Byrne’s constituents can be the first to sack their MP.

  38. 64
    KASHMIR REBEL says:

    WHEN HE CAME OUT TO PAKISTAN HE WAS SPRAYING MONEY ABOUT LIKE THERE WAZ NO TOMORROW

  39. 65
    Unsworth says:

    Yes, that’s just the sort of joke that Chief Secretaries make to each other, but you should hear what Prime Ministers say to each other – it’s fucking hilarious.

  40. 66
    paddypolak says:

    Bit harsh to label this pair Polish. Harsh on the Poles that is.
    It is true that grandfather Miliband was a resident of Warsaw. However his jouney west started when he allied himself with the soviet invasion of Poland in 1919. The soviets were defeated and grandfather Miliband pitched up in Brussels.

    If they are Polish then they have a traitor in the family.

  41. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Many truths spoken in jest. Liam old cock that excuse will not wash.

  42. 76
    NeverRed says:

    How can we finally get rid of Balls & Baldymort & Brown & in fact the entire ex labour cabinet?

    On another issue, does anyone know the name and contact details of the woman who attacked a very tall male Labour MP the other day?

  43. 89
    Nae Hawkers, nae Tinkers, nae Campbells says:

    Directors can be unfit to manage companies and get banned for set times.

    High time a criminal or similar charge was brought forward to deal with MPs that waste taxpayer money and leave countries finance inthis condition.

    It started over there won’t wash as a defence byrra way.

    • 99
      The case is building against Brown and Co... says:

      Liam Byrne has let the cat out of the bag…Joke my arse… Labour(aka Brown’s) management of the nation’s finaces over the past 13 years has been cavalier to say the least and possibly even criminally negligent since January this year . Once Sir Alan Budd has investigated the situation there needs to be serious consideration given to bringing Brown;Darling Byrne to account for their actions….at the very least they should be charged with “misconduct in a public office”.

      Brown’s reputation for prudence and the hubristic….”I saved the Global Banking System” needs to be debunked and the public told the truth about the worst Chancellor and worst Prime Minister this country has ever had the mis-fortune to ever have had. I wouldn’t give him a job as a Parking Attendant on Fife Council………………….

  44. 90
    Fiscally rigid says:

    I didn’t know Liam Gallagher was Treasury Chief Secretary in the outgoing government. But now he running for Labour Party leader against his brother. This is very confusing

  45. 91
    bird with small brain says:

    Aren’t jokes meant to be funnY?

  46. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Lovely letter.
    Must be the first time a labour mp has NOT lied!

  47. 95
    Gordon's favourite Butt Plug says:

    We all deserved it for believing their casual lies. So very many times.

  48. 100
    S Keedmarc says:

    Liam Byrne has something of a similarity to Officer Alex Murphy aka Robocop, with his visor / helmet removed.

    http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r169/linzlou82/robocop-face.jpg

  49. 101
    GV says:

    Liam Byrne is an insufferable, self-opinionated prat of the highest order who deserves a right royal kicking up the backside.

    The usual note is one which proffers congratulations/advice – not this “joke”. And, no, I haven’t had a sense of humour bypass, I just think that people have deserved better than the last thirteen years of Labour’s contempt crowned off by Byrne. Nothing could better epitomise their attitude towards us. Bastards all and I’m glad they’ve gone.

    • 122
      50 Calibre says:

      I’ve found a nice little lamp post that would suit this cretin almost down to the ground.

      All we need is some piano wire…

  50. 107
    john miller says:

    A lying tosspot till the bitter end.

    A true statement would have read: “There is a lot less than no money left”.

  51. 108
    Duncan says:

    2015 campaign slogan:

    New Labour: We Meant it All As a Joke

  52. 112
    pot to piss in says:

    Brokenhearted here I squat
    we’ve had to flog the ‘piss-in’ pot.

  53. 114
    Zaragon says:

    It is bizarre that he should joke about this crime against the country given the suffering that will result from it. And he has the gall to wag his finger over a paltry £6 Billion of cuts when this only reduces the New Labour spending frenzy from £704 Billion to £698 Billion. Byrne’s letter should be on every Tory election leaflet in 2015. “How every Labour Government ends – in their own words.”

  54. 118
    Liam Byrne says:

    My note to Woolas when I left the Home Office;

    Dear Phil,

    I’ve ‘tipped the balance’ and let more illegals in that we’ve removed, there’s no more to let in, that is all.

    Fuck you very much.

    Liam Byrne

  55. 119
    Duncan says:

    I see David’s irony bypass was a success.

  56. 121
    John R says:

    There really should be someone looking at whether blind stupidity and pride are a good enough reason why all those arrogant toxic-mouthed fools should not be charged with treason and sabotage.

  57. 123
    Democracy my arse says:

    Arrogant, self opinionated TWAT
    Sums up the whole liebour culture in one sentence.
    A great slogan for the next election


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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