May 14th, 2010

Baldemort For Leader?

Despite being painfully follicularly challenged, Liam Byrne is a strong media performer and had a solid election campaign. Unlike Balls, for example, he was loyal to the leadership, but managed to keep some distance. Despite being seen as part of the Brown camp, he was conspicuously absent from the last hurrah photos The Guardian took on Tuesday night.

Byrne signals no desire to run, but we’ve all heard that before. He’s very much a long odds outsider in the betting, however his article this morning certainly reads like pitch. It reflects heavily what went wrong, yet ends with an optimistic view on how the Labour Party could rebuild under a strong, new style of leadership:

“The new leader’s second test is not policy – it is organisation. In Birmingham we did well fending off a Tory attack. Gisela Stuart’s extraordinary triumph in Edgbaston will be one of the great memories of election night. In my own seat we managed to put up the Labour majority.

This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life. Our tribute must be to learn lessons fast, and get back out there and win again.”

The whole thing is littered with references to his own successes and new ideas…


  1. 1
    Vimeiro says:

    Poor deranged fool.

  2. 2
    amongomous says:

    I don’t care

  3. 3
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    Quick, get him a coffee or there’ll be trouble.

  4. 4
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    He’ll always be a twat of the highest order.

  5. 5
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    another ABE candidate?

  6. 6
    upchuck says:

    It makes me feel sick when you mention the Labour party, please stop it!

  7. 7
  8. 8
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    There must be a ‘grid’ in his schedule for this

    PS In the Guardian photos doesn’t Balls look odious? Either hands in pockets like a used car salesman or slouching in a chair like a disaffected teenager.
    Wonder if the typist thrown from her chair was in the pictures.
    They have seem to have extracted all the Nokias embedded into the walls

  9. 9
    Peter Grimes says:

    He will walk it if he buys a syrup like the one in the picture.

    ZaNuLieBor just love Maggie!!

  10. 10
    Hugh Janus says:

    Still no candidates of any stature then? That’s probably because there aren’t any in NuLiebour, not since Gordo “Colossus” McBust crawled out of Downing St.

  11. 11
    Speaker of Truth says:

    Labour bods shouldn’t listen to a single fucking thing Guido says about the Labour leadership – his advise is as well-intentioned as that which Mr Ferguson gives to football clubs other than MUFC.

  12. 12
    sinosimon says:

    i thought alastair campbell has already filled the leader’s vacancy? the bbc are certainly giving him more airtime than any other labour apparatchik.

    i think it would be a great boost for sufferers of mental instability everywhere if the labour party, having just carted one psychotic off to his padded cell they immediately installed a fellow window-licker………

    labour….a future fair(ly unstable) for all………

  13. 13
    Used car salesman says:

    Enough of the insults.

  14. 14
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Liam is a first-rate candidate. He helped me save the World and was instrumental in helping this Nation build up its ginormous debt mountain.

    He likes his soup served at 12.30pm.

  15. 15
    Mr Ned says:

    Who, or what are “labour”?

    I know my shrink has sold me something about “labour” when discussing my suppressed memories due to my Post Traumatic Stress disorder, but I am still none the wiser…

    I am feeling a lot better all of a sudden though. A massive and all-encompassing black cloud has begun to lift!

  16. 16
    Harpy Dromey winning here says:

    Harriet, please run for Labour leader. Your towering intellect will make Labour unelectable for a generation. Sorry, I meant unbeatable for a generation.

  17. 17
    Mr Ned says:

    Well, in 2007 we were repeatedly lectured by labour MPs and the media that Gordon Brown was (and I quote) “Head and shoulders above” all the other potential candidates and that was why he should become leader in a coronation.

    IF that really is the case, then, LABOUR ARE FUCKED!

  18. 18
    PM says:

    A Byrne / Balls coalition? Thiiiiiiiings can only get bedder…

  19. 19
    Speaker of Truth says:

    Yes, that is exactly what Guido is if he thinks he’s going to influence the Labour leadership debate. Guido is hardly a supportive spirit of the Labour party – he wants it destroyed – so make sure you all view *everything* he says through this lens of twisted intentions…

  20. 20
    Stepney says:

    I had a look at his website and do you know what?

    “Liam is the MP for Birmingham Hodge Hill, and Chief Secretary to HM Treasury. The youngest member of the Cabinet…”

    No he fucking isn’t. Lazy shit needs to update and soon. Let’s face it he’s got plenty of time on his hands…

  21. 21
    Johnny says says:

    “… Liam Byrne is a strong media performer …”

    No he isn’t.

    It’ll soon be time for his soup.

  22. 22

    Has ConDem killed off Thatcherism?

  23. 23
    ester ransoms dog says:

    The tories tried baldygits twice without much like despite Hauge being probably the sharpest knife on the rack. It seems the British public only votes for hair.

  24. 24
    Mr Ned says:

    What will you give me in part-ex for a slightly used jag, with bogies encrusted on the back seats?

  25. 25
    Max the Impaler says:


  26. 26
    Max the Impaler says:

    That last comment was for Vimeiro not Guido.

  27. 27
    Hugh Janus says:

    “I am feeling a lot better all of a sudden though. A massive and all-encompassing black cloud has begun to lift!”

    …only to descend again when we find out how we are going to pay off the mountain of debt run up by Bliar and McBust.

    Sorry to destroy your (temporary) euphoria Mr N.

  28. 28
    Mr Ned says:

    If it has, then it has done in less than a week, something which Nulabour failed to achieve in 13 years!

  29. 29
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    It’s such joy to see the crooks and c-unts of Labour pissed off and indignant at being thrust into opposition. Most of them seem to think they’re entitled to be in power forever. I hope the likes of Baldamort, Bad Al, Lord Mandy, Blinky, the Milipedes and Mrs Dromey all fucking die painfully. It’s the least they deserve.

  30. 30
    Running on Empty says:

    Mliband is going to get it, he was always going to get it.
    How much pointless wank do you think you can extract from this non-story ?

  31. 31

    What is this “labour” of which you speak?

    Why the continuing focus on this minor scottish authoritarian party – the world has moved on.

  32. 32
    Sterling is going to parity with the US dollar says:

    Labour are utterly fucked, between bananaboy, some loopy lefties and Andy OneBrainCell Burnham they have no viable leader.

    Tony Blair was a once in a blue moon piece of luck for Labour, they’ll never own the middle ground again.

  33. 33
    PM says:

    Ahhhh. But which Milibland?

  34. 34
    But the best bit is... says:

    ….it doesn’t make any difference who they choose, they’re all complete tossers. Whoever ends up leading Labour (and my money is on Balls), they will remain unelectable for as long as the unions in general, and Unite in particular, hold the purse strings.

  35. 35
    CCHQ dries up as predicted says:

    Bald fucker has no chance in Leadership election nobody cares about.


  36. 36
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    Hair to Blair

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Once Watched Andrew Neil Pick Him Apart Like a Piece of K.F.C. ,Didnt Know his Own Subject Would Make A Good Childrens Entertainer as He seems Devoid of Embarrassment……………..A Complete Prick

  38. 38
    Great Granddad says:

    Please may it be Balls. They so very thoroughly deserve him!

  39. 39
    Proud to be a Libservative! says:

    sell you a job as PM for your principles sir?

  40. 40

    Guido, when are we going to find out how Gordon got to power? Thats’ what i’m interested in. Surely now he’s dead, or is back in scotland which amounts to the same thing, people are willing to talk?

    I’d pay GOOD MONEY to find out wtf happened inside labour that propelled him upwards.


  41. 41
    Hugh Janus says:

    They only rented the middle ground, and were evicted when the failed to keep up the payments. Their credit rating is now a minus to the power of seven.

  42. 42
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    Brown’s gone. He’s really gone! I still can’t believe we’re rid of that evil, deranged c-unt! The worst prime minister in British history is gone and will now live out his days in the knowledge he was never elected leader of his party or prime minister, and when it came to an election, he was roundly rejected by the voters! How sweet it is, how sweet it is.

  43. 43
    Mr Ned says:

    Well that would have had to happen regardless of who was in Government. The Markets would have seen to that.

    At least the overbearing, surveillance state is being dismantled and the bastards will be letting me go about my LAWFUL business without them constantly eyeing me with suspicion as a potential terrorist. I will not have to register with their numerous databases and my daughter could have children safe in the knowlege that the state is no longer going to be compiling a database and dossier on her and her children’s private behaviour.

    I am soon to be breathing free-er air and we will be regaining liberties and rights that our forefathers fought two world wars to defend. the totalitarian state is being rolled back a bit, and although it does not go as far as I would like, it is fucking good start!

    Scrapping using speed cameras as cash cows for local authorities, enshrining freedom of speech in law, thus allowing politically incorrect thought and speech to be expressed again, scrapping contact point, the NIR and changing the way the DNA database is used. Keeping the innocent off it and chasing all the criminals who have committed a crime to be placed on it.

  44. 44
    Not Shouting At The TV quite so much says:

    Heheh… “Whatever!”

    Now let’s just have a little bit of Voting Reform (with Scotland/Labour scaled back down to its true value and influence) and then we can get on with sorting out Labour’s record mess – they really have excelled themselves at ‘inconomics’ this time.

  45. 45
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    They have to take a left turn, the middle is a bit crowded now.
    Enter Balls and Whelan bullying their way to power.
    Hope Anthony Calvert stands again, realign the boundaries a bit, ban postal votes unless you are incapictated, and Balls will need to move to a new constituency

  46. 46
    Proud to be a Libservative! says:

    Who, or what are “Conservatives”?

    I know my shrink has sold me something about “Conservatives” when discussing my suppressed memories due to my Post Traumatic Stress disorder, but I am still none the wiser…

    I am feeling a lot better all of a sudden though. A massive and all-encompassing black cloud has begun to lift! I’ve remembered! We’re the Libservatives now!

    Bring me my sandals and bong as I embrace Clegg.
    We are the progressives now. Peace man.

  47. 47
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    This was my deficit reduction plan 2011/14….


  48. 48
    Liam Baldamort says:

    I want my coffee, white and two sugars, at 11.54, or heads will roll.

  49. 49
    Mr Ned says:

    DEAL! Cheap at half the price!!!

  50. 50
    Bow down to your new lord and master toryboys says:

  51. 51
    ester ransoms dog says:

    Haircare by turtle-wax

  52. 52
    Chill out Charlie says:

    These sad liebore types do seem rather deranged; have they all lost their sense of reality, their sense of humour?
    They should go away and get some fresh air, read some light fiction, and relax. Stop taking the medication perhaps…but no, they’ll be stirring Unite to cause mayhem, and queuing up to be in reality TV shows like a bunch of ageing D list celebs…

  53. 53
    Doc Trough says:

    Had his occupation down as MP on his twitter profile right through the campaign. Had to tell him off twice!

    Slaphead with floppy head skin. Thinks far too much of himself. Utter c’unt.

  54. 54
    Muzee scrounger says:

    Givings us Sharia Law now or we will blows you evil infidels up!

    And can I backdate my benefits, please?

  55. 55
    Mr Ned says:

    Will they see sense and legalise cannabis? They should, the tax revenue would help shrink the deficit!

  56. 56
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    Gone, but not forgotten

  57. 57
    Hugh Janus says:

    “Wonder if the typist thrown from her chair was in the pictures.
    They have seem to have extracted all the Nokias embedded into the walls.”

    I don’t think McBust intended to resign at all. I firmly believe that his comment “I can’t hold on any longer Nick” was in reference to his over-active bowels which, at the time, were about to erupt all over the office carpet….

  58. 58
    MI5 says:

    Let’s have a true midget as Labour Leader

    Who was a Treasury Minister when Nu Labour et the deficit rip by £ 20 billion per month and lleft Britain in its worst financial situation for a generation

    Ideas ? Tax and spend like the rest of them

    A High Priest of Nu Labour’s Ponzi Scheme of buying votes with borrowed taxpayers’ money

    A disgrace to the country

    Bring him on…

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Do the sums. Power of 12 – trillions.

  60. 60
    Proud to be a Libservative says:

    Truly! Wavy Davy is the “Heir to Blair” as so many foretold.

    Enjoy your Blu Labour lefty love in. We certainly are. Pure comedy.

  61. 61

    We won fair and square! We should be in government! Gordon is still our prime minister!

  62. 62
    Doc Trough says:

    STFU and finish your Cock-a-Leekie.

  63. 63

    […] Guido has drawn my attention to Liam Byrne’s curious appearance in this morning’s Guardian explaining where Labour went wrong – losing half of its C2 vote – and complaining that his ideas were ignored by his comrades in government. He had put forward a paper to the cabinet addressing the “squeezed lower middle class” but it wasn’t taken seriously. The news article says that Byrne is not standing in the leadership contest. Really? […]

  64. 64
    St Andrew says:

    Listen to legendary trougher Alex Salmond squeal as the interviewer touches his swollen wallet.

  65. 65
    Stepney says:

    Yes. I think the time for reflection is upon us. So much coverage of the coalition has numbed us from the fact that the Brownite tyranny is over.

    The non-elected and devious bastard whose violent methods brought shame to a generation of politicians and civil servants finally found out that job was WAY beyond his mediocre talents.

    Problem was he f*cked us over to prove his incompetence.

    The devil is dead.

    Take the night off and celebrate.

  66. 66
    MI5 says:


    Good article in the Bild you refer us to…

    But another article known to the market this :monring says

    “Sarko thumped the table in front of Mrs Merkel and said France would quit the Euro is she did not give way on German support for the Euro bailout”

    So the market are crashing again…

    As I have said here before, this means the EUSSR is exploding before our eyes

    40 years of the “Franco-German Couple” has descended into economic warfare

    And this is not the end…

    So a Europe of Nations which you, I and many others have wanted has to be created on solid market economy basis with floating currencies from the rubble of the Euro……

  67. 67
    Martin Day says:

    The Stock Market gives thumbs down to Tory & LibDem twerps

    FTSE 100 5334.46down -99.27 -1.83%

  68. 68
    MI5 says:

    Blackmail, smears, cahs, fraud and money laundering

    That explains Brown’s rise to power

    Ample evidence already

    Just needs one good book from an honest Blairite to destroy New Labour for a generation…

  69. 69
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    Not everything Brown did was awful. To be fair, he had one great achievement in office:
    “Thank you, and goodbye.”

  70. 70
    Bob says:


    Where have you gone Blinky

    Normally you love showing yourself on TV

    Has sommeone nobbled you ?

    Or are you scared ?

    Come on

    Show yourself if you have any…!!!

  71. 71
    Proud to be a Libservative says:

    Why not ? A quarter of the ministerial jobs are Liberals now
    Dave has successfully diluted Blu-Labour into something even more meaningless than New Labour by merging with the Liberal Party
    Even Blair wasn’t unprincipled enough to do that, and he thought about it

  72. 72
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    I wonder how many millions the UNITE union wasted on trying to prop up Brown and get their minions elected this time round.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    The children’s pictures had been stuck up half an hour before those photos were taken to hide all the dents in the wall.

    Re Balls slouching around – I objected to Sarah standing the children on the desks – do it at home Sarah, if you must, but that furniture wasn’t yours, you know.

  74. 74
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    Enter Balls as next leader using the same formula

  75. 75
    Jack says:


    You are due to visit Scotland and meet Salmond this weekend

    WIll you please organise Independence for Jockland Sir

  76. 76
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    “Does it matter?”

  77. 77
    Engineer says:


  78. 78
    The IMF may not be coming says:

    Shown as the highlights of his career on HIGNFY last night

  79. 79
    Goyish George says:

    spotted: Damian McBride rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi on the 263 bus in North Finchley.

  80. 80
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Yes. Come and take your tablets whilst they are still free on the national health.

  81. 81
    Jack says:

    If you are bald and knee high to a

  82. 82
    Post-Election Frolics says:

    ZaNew Liebore won’t learn from their past. Once again, they’ll have a coronation for a new leader, David Milipede, because others are too gutless to run against him. That’ll be great for us because he’ll be defeated resoundingly at the next election.

  83. 83
    yesterday's party says:

    Does anyone actually give a shit who the Labour leader is?

  84. 84
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Let’s have a true midget as Labour Leader

    Hazel Blears??

  85. 85
    Thick As Thieves says:

    Stock Market gives its verdict on the coalition

    FTSE 100 5333.74down -99.99 -1.84%

    Come back Gordon Brown, all is forgiven mate

  86. 86
    Jack says:

    If you are bald and knee high to a grass hopper

    You have to get over embarrassment young…

  87. 87
  88. 88
    Mr Ned says:

    honest Blairite? Oh dear… no book coming then.

  89. 89
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    “A massive and all-encompassing black cloud has begun to lift!”

    Same for me, I now no longer spend idle moments wishing I had super powers and if I had what punishment I would deal out to the scotish monster, balls, byrne, straw, the milliplops, slimy manglson, pressclot, campbell and all of the rest of the vile lot. I can also feel that black cloud of terror and fear of a police state with ID chips, stazie, snoopers, and informers on every street, watchers, lookers, thought police and vindictive liars lurking under every stone, with evil mendacious plots being hatched in every place that labour politicians gather. And although the lying two faced shits are all still managing to get their filthy verbiage on the radio and their ugly boats on the telly their ultimate power has been neutered.

  90. 90
    Hugh Janus says:

    13 years of NuLiebour scheming, plotting and lying has turned you into a cynic.

    Welcome to club!

  91. 91
    Jack says:

    Blinky deserves it too

    He is a true folk hero

    True standard bearer of bust New Labour

    Loved by the laborious masses who have just deserted Zanu Labour

    The Zanu Tribal Areas deserve him… (socio-economic category Z1 BTW)

  92. 92
    RBS HBoS says:

    If Scotland has a referendum then they have to pay for it.

  93. 93
    Johnny says says:

    Liam Byrne said: “This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life. ”

    It is only immeasurable because Gordon fiddled with every statistic known to man.

  94. 94
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    “From a forum post by an Anonymous user:”

    I shall leave the tinfoil on the roll for the time being.

  95. 95
    Liam Byrne says:

    I am a genius

    I have invented 350 ways to buy the British People with their own money

    And bankrupt the country

    Vote for me…

  96. 96
    Martin Day says:

    Boris set to give David Cameron a deserved kicking

    Boris may be at odds with the Cleggerons soon!

  97. 97
    Pat Cash to join UKIP? says:

    Cameron shows his Europhile colours

    It didn’t take Cameron long to prove that he is not a eurosceptic, did it?

    David Cameron risked a confrontation with the Tory Right yesterday by stripping his party’s eurosceptic wing of the symbolic post of Europe Minister.
    Hardliners had expected that Mark Francois, the pugnacious holder of the post in opposition, would be given the job.
    But in an attempt to appease pro-Brussels Liberal Democrats, Mr Cameron passed him over in favour of a moderate, David Lidington.
    Bill Cash is rightly appalled:

    ‘David Lidington is a well-established Europhile,’ he said. ‘It means they’ve overridden Mark Francois, who comes from the euro-realist wing of the party. It’s ridiculous.’
    Cam didn’t need to pick this fight. He could have placed both europhiles and euro-realists in key European posts. So why didn’t he? Might this be why he plans to introduce the 55% rule, to prevent euro-realists from bringing the government down?

    So Pat when do you grow a pair and join UKIP?

  98. 98
    AC1 says:

    Mrs Thatcher “destroyed Society” by stopping the countries bankruptcy.
    Zanu-Labour rebuilt society by creating millions of chavs!

  99. 99
    Hugh Janus says:

    ‘Legendary’ as a serial whiner and whinger when he can’t get his hands on even more of our cash? Isn’t £1,600 per head more than English funding enough for the poor dear?

    Get real, Smug-Chops, if DC has any balls then your excessive funding is about to be cut, and not before time. You want tax-raising powers? Absolutely fine by me. We can cancel the standing order tomorrow and leave you to it, it’s the least we can do for you.

  100. 100
    Lin Homer And Liam sitting in a tree - K I S S I N G says:

    The UK Border Farce thought he was a joke when he was minister, it’s even funnier if he wants to run the Labour Party.

  101. 101
    Liam Byrne says:

    We should all contribute to a fighting fund to get Blinky to run

    We cannot miss the sport

  102. 102
    gildedtumbril says:

    …just another marxist arsehole…

  103. 103
  104. 104
    Liam Byrne says:

    It’s is immeasurably stronger having doubled the national debt and left a deficit of 12% as well…

  105. 105
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    its also quite incredibly extraordinary.

    HIGNFY had a wonderful compilation of his best moments. You’ve probably seen them all before, but still well worth watching.

  106. 106
    The utterly odious Blinky Balls says:

    Sorry, just catching up on some post-defeat humping with the missus. Nothing to do now that our ministerial posts have been stolen from us. We have to fill these long hours somehow…

  107. 107
    Dorian Smith says:

    I do love your posts, they are so targeted and hands up, you’ve won with your oh so witty posting of youtube videos – you’ve really won the argument (what is your argument btw?), let us have a Labour Government asap!

  108. 108
    Johnny says says:

    The ‘middle ground’ is a figment of political minds and Labour did not own it. They convinced the Tories they did, and made the Tories move towards socialism. Labour in power were unashamed centralising, authoritarian socialists buying off vested interests with taxpayers money.

    The election was fought less on a left/right spectrum and more on an authoritarian/libertarian spectrum.(relatively speaking) That is why it flummoxed Brown and caused Labour support to retreat to the areas that have benefited from their policies.

  109. 109
    St Andrew says:

    Salmond should follow Cameron’s lead and cut his fat state salary.

  110. 110
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I don’t know much about the germans or what they would do.

    I’d put much better odds on the Germans kicking the Greeks out of the euro than leaving it themselves. Only if the Germans couldnt get the French (anyone else to veto it?) to agree to kick them out, and rekon that would be months or years from now.

  111. 111
    Honest John "Tudor Beams" Prescott says:


    A Harvard Business School MBA as Leader of the Labour Party ?

    Are you taking the piss again ?

    What about the laborious classes then who I represent ?

  112. 112
    albacore says:

    The Lib-Con setup is a perfect tool for the resurrection of Labour as though it had never been gone.
    There’ll be a myriad of blue moons before it will even murmur sweet nothings about the incandescent issues of the EU and immigration.
    David Icke got the micturition extracted from him in one of yesterday’s topics but, lizards or no lizards, that ten-minute video of his packed more punch than you’ll ever hear from the Lib/Lab/Con sweethearts.

  113. 113
    Desperate Dan says:

    It wasn’t just Labour politicians, the Labour Party and Labour policies that had the voters up in arms. It was the unelected Labour cheerleaders and apologists who’ve spent the past 13 years ramming their unwelcome ideas down our throats – Sami Shakrabati, Yasmin Alibi Brown, the Appeal Court judges, Alastair Campbell , Newsnight, Nicky Campbell, Victoria Derbyshire, Geoffrey Robertson QC, Jo Brand, Bill Bailey and all the other D list celebs. Most of the country has been entirely unrepresented in public life for the past 13 philistine years.

  114. 114
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    Yes, how can something which cannot be measured be stronger? How would you know? You cannot measure it. Political fuckwittery. Plain English would eb agood start.

  115. 115
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    Martin, I think it’s called ‘free speech’ An alien concept to Labour I know but very welcome nonetheless.

  116. 116
    Daily Mirror reader says:

    According to the opinion polls

    The Jocks do not want Independence

    Why ?

  117. 117
    Desperate Dan says:

    Boris has unfortunate ego problems. He’s just jumping up and down and shouting :”What about ME ME ME”

  118. 118
    Concerned of Carlisle says:

    Quite right too. London wanted the Olympics, London bid for the Olympics, London should pay for their Olympics. It may as well be in Paris as far as us oop Norf are concerned.

  119. 119
    Fairer_Stronger_UK? says:

    Fairer and Stronger gratia Brown?

    Does he mean Us?

    The UK has become so weak economically that it can no longer afford a full-sized standing Army and Navy. GB looks set to lose its UN Security Council permanent membership soon.
    The class warfare that has broken out in the past couple of years has caused economic flight of the more upwardly mobile and able. All those “Sold” signs in the Shires point to families that have moved out and canceled their standing orders to HM Treasury. Brown has not left us with a fairer society at all – just a more socially balanced bunch of talentless downbeats.

  120. 120
    Yeah, right says:

    To: Speaker of Truth – May 14, 2010 at 10:54 am
    RE: “Guido is hardly a supportive spirit of the Labour party – he wants it destroyed”

    Why should anyone want to support the spirit of the most detested, corrupt and usless government in living memory? And don’t bring out those teenager “Thatcher” chants, they are so untrue and childish. Thatcherism brought national recovery and prosperity for all. What Labour government can say that?

    Practically all Labourites are spiteful, useless and dangerous in power.

    Even now we are still hearing of new stories about how Labour activists have been:
    – committing vote frauds on a large scale
    – putting illegal pressure on voters outside polling stations
    – spreading viral text messages full of outright lies to ethnic minorities.
    – spreading lies to create fear in vulnerable people like cancer patients.
    – Even NuLab craven pets like Hector Sants in the FSA were sending emails to influence their employees’ voting intentions.

    Crooks, a pox on all of them.

  121. 121

    I am also intrigued to know this and wonder how it will be displayed on their accounts.

  122. 122
    Desperate Dan says:

    Alex Salmond is a thug. The Scots have chosen him as their leader. Therefore the Scots are thugs.

  123. 123
    Daily Mirror reader says:

    Will he bully Eva into giving him her constituency ?

    But I fear that Blinky has such talent that he will turn even a hardcore Labour Tribal safe seat into a marginal…

  124. 124
    Nick2 says:

    And you think that the rest of us are cheering Labour on?

    I think that most posters here are watching to see whether Lab can self destruct totally by itself, or if it could do with a helping hand…

  125. 125
    Mike Hunt says:

    I had a good shout at the telly, QT was on: who the hell was the shoutey hoon aged about 15 not letting anyone get a word in edgewise?

  126. 126
    Selohesra says:

    Just a thought – perhaps they were simply lying to us?

  127. 127
    sinosimon says:

    how about a blue midget? bercow………..

    although as columnists for the Indy and Mail are both suggesting he’s been three sheets since the putsch perhaps he might need a little time in rehab before he gets the gig…….and his missus would fit the bill as mouthy annoying know-it-all…..seems to be de rigeur for the marxists now…..

  128. 128
    Desperate Dan says:

    Who is funding Miliband’s tour of the country ?

  129. 129
    Mike Hunt says:

    Lefties never have a sense of humour: it gets removed as part of the party induction.

  130. 130
    Selohesra says:

    it wouldnt be the first time

  131. 131
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Sr. Juan Kerr would like Guido’s readers to know that he is no way conncected with Mr D. Cameron of 10, Downing Street.

  132. 132

    GOLD in EUROS hit 1000 for the first time today.
    Gold in sterling 859.

  133. 133
    sinosimon says:

    yeah, but they’re all bigots….

  134. 134
    Mike Hunt says:

    – applause –

  135. 135
    No ideas Labour says:

    So what ideas do Labour have? Strikes & more strikes and nitpicking?

  136. 136
    Mike Hunt says:

    Don’t forget this was tax-payer’s money to start with.

  137. 137
    The Red Wag says:

    Wishing for awesome super powers. You already have them.

    I used my awesome super powers of temporal placement and kinesis to move a pencil over a piece of paper while the polling station was open. This caused the vile farces of evil to vanish.

    The noises you are hearing are mere echoes of the past. They will disappear too before too long.

  138. 138
    Rock Solid says:

    Does anyone think that the ‘new politics’ represented by those nauseating, public-school bum boys holding hands in a rose garden, is anything other than a giant stitch-up to get them into power?

    What would the tories have said about ‘new politics in the national interest’ if they’d won a majority? What would the Lib Dems said about the tories then?

    Exactly. Bullshit all round.

  139. 139
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    I shaved the world, y’scunners. Tony’s ma best pal, lend us a quid for a cup of tea, ya bastards. Youse dinnae understand, Ah saved the world frae meltdown. Ah did the right thing for hard working families. The Tories will eat yon babies, they’ll stop yer tax credits, and send ye out to work. Fuckin’ give me the price of a can of heavy.

  140. 140
    Dorian Smith says:

    perhaps Martin Day could tell us the price of gold when Brown sold one or two bars.

  141. 141
    Confused says:

    How can Liam Fox run for leadership of the Labour party? Or is another example of the new politics?

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    Well since you think the Labour Party are listening, and since I believe that good laws are written with the help of good opposition you can have this for free. This is the reason why you managed to make such a bloody mess of our country, which you do not appear to care about, and the reason why you are not running it now, which you do. The you, the Labour Party, are only good at 2 things, spin and bullying. You built a spin wall which no one could penetrate. Behind this you bullied the press the civil service and any poor member of the public who found them selves on the wrong side of it.

    Behind this wall you could do what you liked. You lead us into two wasteful and unnecessary wars where you pissed away our treasure under paying and under equipping our young men and women who you appear to have no qualms about sending to kill and be killed. Then you forgot how to lead. Blair had this ability but he lost it or stopped bothering towards the end of his tenure. Brown was never a leader he made up for this with Bullying. This did not matter to the Labour Party they had the spin wall to protect them. The lack of management ability that under Blair was made up for by leadership became horribly obvious under Brown. He used his “clunking fist” and his “psychological floors” against any civil servant who dared to step inside the spin wall and show any leadership, management initiative or integrity.

    You left us (the people not the new government who have yet to prove they can deal with this) with a war we can not win, a cultural difference in a massive immigrant population some of whom want to kill or convert us to their views, with public and private debt, a punch drunk and bloated civil service, a political press not fit for purpose, a police force that does less and less with more and more, an electorate that does not want to get involved, a basket case that masquerades as financial services regulation and an education system that gave us TaT.

    And my point is, you are now the official opposition, try to elect a leader who will not f**k up opposition like you did government. To do this you have to get rid of the spin wall and stop blaming everyone else. Time to start earning your pay.

  143. 143
    Desperate Dan says:

    London didn’t and doesn’t want the Olympics. Tony Blair and Prescott’s American business friends wanted the Olympics because they saw it as an opportunity to line their pockets at the public’s expense.

  144. 144
    Adios el Gordo says:

    Guido is right – no one involved in the last hurrah can be eligable if the labour party want to be taken seriously. As soon as GB lost the election he should have resigened, not try to launch a coup – it made them all look dictatorial and desperate. It was for the Queen to sort out not GB.

    Does this mean that darling should not have gone to greece and therefore anything he decided is null and void?

  145. 145
    Desperate Dan says:

    I presume you’re referring to the Miliband brothers?.

  146. 146
    I'll have some of that says:

    Only begun to lift. Now it’s time to root the rest out – like the council spies, the cops who arrest 61 year olds for having a Swiss Army knife in the glove compartment of their cars, the fake charity heads, it goes on and on.

    I can’t believe Pinky and Perky will actually do anything about all these, they’re too busy gazing into each other’s eyes…..

  147. 147

    Yes and those fuckwits on strike at BA paid for Labour’s election properganda HA BLOODY HA! waste of money LOVE IT!!!!!!

  148. 148
    The Morris Marina a log laid by British Leyland says:

    So long as it’s not a one eyed jock mong I don’t care. Liebour are totally fucked. The Tories and Limp Dems need to sort out the voting system, they need to tell the skirt wearers in Scotland to piss off (that will take 40 Liebour MPs out of the system straight off) then get the boundaries sorted out and the Muslims doing the voting fraud. That should get rid of another 30 Liebour MPs at least

    Job done.

  149. 149
    Madme Defarge says:

    Byrne’s a total berk. Staright out of The Office. He reminds me of a vending machine salesman I once knew.

  150. 150
    Dorian Smith says:

    So what result were you hoping for in the last election?

  151. 151

    M.H. Shit I forgot about that!!!!!

  152. 152
    Former PA to Liam says:

    He’s a real-life Souperman.

  153. 153
    Mike Hunt says:

    He will have to learn to count to 10 first.

  154. 154
    Millitwat says:

    I have managed to coordinate the coordinated displeasure of an unprecedented number of non-UK foreign ministers. This has take the vision, bold vision, ideas, blue-sky thinking and vision which has been the characteristic of the labour movement since the 1940s. The mask has slipped; it’s the same old extreme right Tories, committed to privatising the NHS and destroying the inter-community relationships between communities which Labour have created as the strongest and deepest – because that is our vision.

  155. 155
    bergen says:

    Quite right.Personally,being lectured by the” great and good” of progressive”politics used to enrage me.And don’t start on the subject of”Luvies for Labour”-a bunch of simpering ,mincing,up-themselves mummers of no relevance to real life at all.

  156. 156
    why the fuck is rabid Zionist David Lidington the Europe Minister? says:

    “This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life.”

    That’s strange because every time I visit my local supermarket, I get the impression it’s immeasurably darker; in fact, thirteen years ago, apart from the odd sprinter with a litre bottle of spirit under his arm, it wasn’t dark at all.

  157. 157
    Smig says:

    Legalising pot would save a fortune in Police overtime too.

    Replace the “All you can drink for a tenner” chav pubs with Cannabis Cafes.

    Stoned people don’t start fights at kicking out time.

  158. 158
    Glass coffee table says:

    Mark Oaten rented the middle ground.

  159. 159
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Those little reality-pencils are awesome! A while back, I used the one I was lent to change an alcoholic, humourless, woman-beating Marxist newtf**ker into a debonair, Tacitus-quoting Turkish Behemoth who chases muggers down the road on a granny-bike whilst shouting ‘Come back, you Oiks!’ in a Received English accent.

    Worth every flake of the Graphite!

  160. 160
    Smig says:

    Fuck off slaphead or I’ll set the polishing mop on you.

  161. 161
    Bow down to your new lord and master toryboys (by special request) says:

  162. 162
    Sunday Morning says:

    Sounds to me like Byrne would be a better leader for the Labour party than David Milliband….they need a man with a plan not a man with a banana.

  163. 163
    Smig says:

    L is for Labour
    L is for LOSER

  164. 164
    Number 10's cat says:

    If we had sharia law, the entire population of Liverpool would have to sign on left handed

  165. 165
    Loony Left Libcons says:

    We are the progressives now.

  166. 166

    I thought ounces were banned under EUSSR hegemony rules?

    Surely it’s €1000 per 28.314 grammes?

  167. 167
    Dorian Smith says:

    You’re repeating yourself now, got any new youtube vids to post or is this it?

  168. 168
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    No – Gone, Gone, Gone, and for me a new name coming!! Been away theses last few days but luckily got around the ash cloud. I know not what the Labour party will do about a new leader but one things for sure Balls would confine Labour to permanent opposition. As yet, the contest seems quite civilised but likely this will change and could the different factions split the party? Interesting times.

  169. 169
    None shall speak against the Liberal Conservatives. For Dave hath pronounced their union holy says:

    Are you sure you’ve cleared that question with Dave and Nick ?
    Check with your spin doctor please.

  170. 170
    William Hague regarding the occupation of Afghanistan says:

    “I refuse to set an artificial deadline for the withdrawal of armed forces from the conflict zone.”

  171. 171
    Smig says:

    Damian McBride rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi on the 263 bus in North Finchley and heard shouting “I’ll get you Butler!!!”

  172. 172
    Alan Milburn says:

    I think you will find i was the one who privatised the nhs, and did very nicely out of it, thanks.

  173. 173
    Richard Nixon regarding American troops in Vietnam says:

    “I refuse to set an artificial deadline for the withdrawal of armed forces from the conflict zone.”

  174. 174

    By the way, does anyone believe this “10,000 people have joined labour since the election” bullshit?

    how can that possibly be true?

  175. 175
    Smig says:

    Why were there more postal votes in HodgeHill than the total number of voters on the Council Tax roll?

  176. 176
    Dorian Smith says:

    Did you not understand the question? If not check with an adult, preferably one not educated under a Labour government.

  177. 177
    Number 10's cat says:

    Hey! It would take the sting out of the priviledged education attack they using at the moment

  178. 178
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:

    Christ, that’s a depressing graph

  179. 179

    Not just an arsehole (cue crappy music…) – a marxist spendthrift arsehole!

  180. 180
    photo ex machina says:

    This is just embarrassing.

  181. 181
    Smig says:

    They all live at the same address…

  182. 182
    Backwoodsman says:

    “This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life”

    Every time the fuckers try and fly this line, particularly on the bbc, the Tories need to have a big clunking fist on hand ,with the relevent tractor stats which show that in reality pretty much the exact opposite occured !

  183. 183
    Guardian reader says:

    Immeasurably fairer ???


    Another compulsive LIAR ??

  184. 184
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Don’t forget Pressclart’s supercasino scam…

  185. 185
    bergen says:

    Probably as least as true as their voting figures in Muslim dominated seats.

  186. 186
    Just stating the obvious says:

    AND all of them ex-LibDems I should think . Conservative “refuseniks” more likely to go to UKIP

  187. 187
    ANY Direct Democracy is COMMUNISM says:

    Gordon Brown’s attempt to manipulate his little children as emotional shields to hide behind on his grossly belated exit from power was cowardly, pathetic, contemptible and thus true to form. A real man would have allowed them to make a discreet exit, and faced alone whatever trials and tribulations lay ahead. It’s revolting enough when prime ministers try to hide behind their spouses without bringing their children into it, like terrorists are so fond of doing.
    And what about that treason trial for squandering the national gold reserves, and much else besides?

  188. 188
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:

    sweaties find the milk of the English teat is as addictive as tramp’s treacle or buckfast

  189. 189

    It’s probably Blinky’s mates from Unite joining up to fiddle the leadership vote. They’ve got the MPs stitched up (loads of Unite sponsorship there), and the union block vote speaks for itself – 10,000 guaranteed votes in the other part of the electoral jigsaw is the perfect trifecta.

  190. 190
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    For you, yes.

  191. 191
    Dave will destroy the middleclasses - yes really! says:

    The Con dems will show themselfs to be just as destructive and anti British as Labour – in fact they already have, then what for the blue rinse crew, continue to live in denial?

    Or just continue the Labour tory see saw as the press instructs you?

    The funniest part will be when Dave and billionair Spack Cokesniff unleash their eco tax and control methods on the middleclasses and conscript your kids into their EUSSR Hitler Youth.

    Unemployment will soar and there will be no benefits as the new twice as expensive, corporate controlled unacountable `charity` will be dealing with your claim while getting a bonus to cut you off and take your kids away!

    Dave already said you can all starve to death for all he cares in corporate controlled asset stripped Britain.

    While they will be laughing all the way to the international bank along with standing ovation Tony the war criminal and fellow NWO screamer Brown.

  192. 192
    Number 10's cat says:

    No mention of how many have left.
    Ho Hum!
    Same spin new day

  193. 193
    Just stating the obvious says:

    Damn right its a London Jamboree as most of the country north of Watford is concerned … so they can bloody pay for it. It won’t even help unemployment since all the jobs from building works to selling hamburgers/ice creams during the event are/will be taken by Eastern Europeans etc NOT British workers. The spiel about creating jobs is all bollocks…very few Britons will get a look in

  194. 194
    Adios el Gordo says:

    and he got rid on woolworths

  195. 195
    streamfisher says:

    Well Gordon Brown is no longer P.M and is shortly to be replaced as Leader of the Labour Party, but no I still don’t believe it.

  196. 196
    .243 Win says:

    Olympics : Tessa Jowell & ‘Lord’ Coe’s involvement isn’t exactly leaving them out of pocket.

  197. 197
    Billy Vague is a puppet! says:

    “William Hague regarding the occupation of Afghanistan says:
    May 14, 2010 at 12:28 pm
    “I refuse to set an artificial deadline for the withdrawal of armed forces from the conflict zone.”

    Hague will do as his NWO/bilderberg/EU masters tell him to, he is their secretary and has no real power, ask flint, it is all window dressing, he is but a spokesperson, a second hand NWO car salesman, like the rest of them!

    Hague sold Britain out long ago?

    Wonder what his price was?

  198. 198
  199. 199
    Hugh Janus says:

    In your dreams!

  200. 200
    sort out freeview (or the bbc) says:

    since the switchover i have lost a few channels, incl. sky news, so I only get bbc news. twas terrible during the election for obvious reasons. tis getting worse tho because bbc news just cannot seem to get their heads around the idea that labour are not in power anymore. absolutely fed up of the sniping and whinging and the negativity about the new govt.

  201. 201
    Billy Vague is a sellout says:

    Wasn’t it Billy Vague who told British workers who were losing their jobs to go f*ck themselfs, while sucking EU c*ck!

  202. 202
    Ashcloud says:

    I’m better-looking than Baldemort.

  203. 203

    A bit OT, but this from Ambrose Evans in the Torygraph is worth a read – do we really want arseholes like Barroso dictating our fiscal policy?

    Time for a referendum, methinks…

  204. 204
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Understandable – Britains Biggest Cokeusers are frightened of being privatised.

  205. 205
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Let Baldemort have his delusional fun – when was the last time Britain had a bald PM?

  206. 206
    Noises on a scratchy disk found in a boot sale somewhere in Fife says:

    “But the majority of voters voted for a “Progressive Alliance” of the left led by…me…do you understand ? me…I saved the World and I can save the Labour Party. Ican I tell ye I can ……………I’m no resigning ye canna mek me, Peter ye cannae……..”

    “There there Gordon just sip this…you’ll feel better in a minute and we’ll just get Alastair in to write a few words shall we ? Think of all the opportunities for you after your retirement ….I understand they’ve booked you in to address some kids at Kirkcaldy College or whatever and to open up the new Dumbarton Retail Park….it’ll be enjoyable. Look see Sue’s got the Queens Private Secretary on the line… ow now don’t kick me Gordon….All you have to say is…Sir Martin I would like an audience with Her Majesty….me and Alastair will do the rest…”

  207. 207
    Lilliputian says:

    Hazel, Hazel, please, please, please.

    She will bestride the world’s stage like a …colossus.

  208. 208
    Who am I? says:

    This is uncanny!

    I too have just been diagnosed as having Post Braunatic Stress disorder. Police found my comatose body outside Downing street near a bag of rotten fruit and a sign saying “Brown Resign” on the evening of Tuesday 11th May. No one can think of any significant events in the area that could have caused this.

    I regained consciousness in hospital but with absolutley no memory of the last 13 years. When I asked visitors about how our nice, but boring, Prime Minister was doing or whether chancellor Ken Clarke’s work was still driving our economy forward, people just laughed at me.

    I am at home now and am trying to piece the last 13 years of my life back together. On going through my papers I find that, even though I am highly trained and experienced in computer thingies, I am completely unemployable in Britain because I don’t have an Indian passport. Strange. I also find I have a large number of TV repair bills, each one mentions the lack of compatibility of my TV with a fast moving heavy object.

    When I asked my neighbours if they could enlighten me, it seems one had emigrated to New Zealand and one had committed suicide. One of my new neighbours had an interepreter who kindly thanked me for my taxes which had helped him,his client, and their families and friends to live here on taxpayers’ money because they hijacked an aeroplane from Afghanistan. Strange that.

    This is all a bit frustrating so I was wondering if some of you kind people could assist my recovery by giving me a quick precis of the last 13 years?

    Many thanks.

  209. 209
    reginald iolanthe perrin says:

    who gives a fuck what they do?

    all of them are inept hypocrites…..

    serving the working people?


    20% out of work.£2 trillion in debt.

    they should all be sacked and have their money and possessions seized by soca to start paying off the national debt they have saddled us with……

    oh i forgot .the plod are on the gravy train too!

  210. 210

    Did you find the journo/Yvette tape stuck down the back fo the sofa then?

  211. 211
    Lord G says:

    Hear, hear…

    By the way, ‘Liam Byrne’ pronounced properly is virtually indistinguishable from ‘cl_lnt’

  212. 212
    Peter Grimes says:

    Impeccable logic!

  213. 213
    More Tories Please says:

    Or the second.

    Or the third

    Or the, you get the drift.

  214. 214
    50 Calibre says:

    Almost everyone is better looking than Baldemort…

  215. 215
    AC1 says:

    A great idea from the Czech republic.

    Sent out fake invoices to all properties to highlight the fiscal irresponsibility of socialists.

  216. 216
    AC1 says:

    Non-job = disguised unemployment.

    The more silly and pointless and overpaid the non-job the better for labour, as they know that vote is more secure.

  217. 217
    50 Calibre says:

    That would be good, but I’m not holding my breath.

    Personally I prefer the more direct lamp post and piano wire solution. So much cheaper and very effective…

  218. 218
    Been to Eton - on Saturday afternoon I think says:

    Boris is truly a top chap.

  219. 219
    Lord G says:

    It’ll be interesting to view the stats on keyboards required by No. 10 over the next 6 months… Wasn’t it 100 from October 09 to April 10??

  220. 220

    A Troy ounce is a tad different from an imperial one, 31.1034 g to be precise. I’d also point out that Italian plumbers mostly use inches, oddly enough.

  221. 221
    AC1 says:

    wow delusional!

  222. 222
    Mike Hunt says:

    It really shows Liebour investing in the future.

  223. 223
    Leather Apron says:

    O/T, but what’s the story with the LabourHome website – just clicked it for a gloating session and the account is suspended! Have they given up entirely?

  224. 224
    Cut & Paste says:

    Go Freesat and then check out the non-Freesat channels and behold – Sky News!

    You have the dish. All you need is the Freesat set top box.


  225. 225
    Progressive Pratts says:

    And that’s measurable

  226. 226
    wapping boy says:

    The penultimate sentence in that article extract shows that he’s clearly mad. Sounds like an excellent choice for leader of the par-teh.

    So we’d have Geeky, Blinky and Baldy as the contenders. 4 more and they could form their own dwarf troupe.

  227. 227
    Unsworth says:

    What does this large woman’s pee-thing mean by ‘fairer’? Is there some sort of national or international Standard of Fairness? Is there some sort of EU Inspectorate of Fairness?

    What a cretin.

  228. 228

    I’m willing to bet that they still invoice in metric, though – although that’s just for the taxman ;-)

  229. 229
    Henry V says:

    The inner cities especially London are nearly as foreign to most English voters as the Celtic Fringe. I would exclude London from an English Parliament.

    Is the Phoney War we are in now? I find talk of Liebour leadership problems boring.

  230. 230
    50 Calibre says:

    9,700,000 people, one quarter of the potential workforce in the UK, do not work and are in receipt of benefit of one sort or another.

    Skin the moggy any way you want, but there’s the real problem…

  231. 231

    I’ve heard that the 10,000 “newbies”were merely automatically renewing subscriptions: they “joined” in the literal sense of the word, but not in the meaning that the spinners were implying.

  232. 232

    Superb comment. Spot on and priceless.

    Absolutley well said that man. By the way, don’t remain anonymous, make yourself (or pseudonym) known to the blogosphere. We shall read what you say with interest.

    By the would you care to sign my Gordon Brown condolence letter here?

  233. 233
    D says:

    Guido ! We used to have a friday caption competition
    Has this also gone with the new dawn of politics ?

  234. 234
    TH Robin Cock says:

    I think you’ll find that David Byrne is a strong media performer.

  235. 235
    50 Calibre says:

    What English Parliament is that then?

  236. 236

    A giant field of legumes.

  237. 237
    Hi def bulge says:

    What is the point in going anyway? A 50″ Hi def plasma will give Mandy a far better shot of the Tom Daley Bulge than if he were sat on the front row of the swimming baths.

  238. 238
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  239. 239
    Anonymous says:

    Well, the Conservatives have that nice, funny man Jim Davidson on their side.

  240. 240

    As their party is McBust ! maybe they haven’t paid their bills ?

  241. 241
    50 Calibre says:

    I don’t give a flying fuck about the leadership of the remains of the labour party. Labour is just a thing of the past, an anachronism at best and a dirty stain on the UK’s history in reality, as are its proponents. All of them.

  242. 242
    AC1 says:

    When you show Marxists that the basics of what they believe in are totally immoral they run away, but then keep spouting it’s moral.

    Marxism is a religion.

  243. 243
    anon says:

    Not me that’s for sure.

  244. 244
  245. 245
    TH Robin Cock says:


  246. 246
    photo ex machina says:

    hear hear

  247. 247
    X- McSquatter with a P45 says:


  248. 248
    400 tons down the toilet says:

    thats because the gold price is always worked in dollars !

  249. 249

    Sir Terry Wogan. Sir Elton John. Pierce “weave” Brosnan (not a lotta people know that).

  250. 250
    AC1 says:

    Progressive Income Tax increase inequality.

    Relative productivity adjusts based on take home wages(not pre-tax), so raising tax on the productive has the effect of lowering the wages of the poor.

  251. 251
    Guardian reader says:

    The BA strikes are caused by heartless Tory cuts. Just like Thatcher.

  252. 252

    To: Anonymous – May 14, 2010 at 11:22 am

    “The children’s pictures had been stuck up half an hour before those photos were taken to hide all the dents in the wall.”

    Sorry to interrupt but those pictures were made by Gordon Brown, not by his (apparent) children. He probably drew them during one of his psychotherapy sessions.

    Oh hang about, no, they look familiar. Yes, of course!. They are Gordon Brown’s diagrammes for the planning of the economy. Lots of red, lines all pointing down at a precipitately downward angle, and lots of incomprehensible splodges. Yes, definitely the Brown Economy Plan.

    Carry on.

  253. 253

    TAT You dont have any mates
    even Brown wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire !

  254. 254

    8,604,358 voted Labour.

  255. 255
    Anonymous says:

    It helps if you have an opposition who don’t know the meaning of the word, “oppose”.

  256. 256
    Mr Plum says:

    He means regional assemblies

  257. 257
    revolting peasant says:

    Doubt you’d have felt the same if Labour had managed to persuade the Lib Dems to side with them in a pact. But they failed. The Libs knew, like we all did, that Labour would have shafted them on any policy concessions and certainly wouldn’t have given them any Cabinet seats.
    You lost-get used to it and enjoy being in opposition for many years to come.

  258. 258
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Actually just watching question time on iPlayer I noticed the warning “You must have a TV licence if you watch live TV”. Note the woding – it didn’t say just the BBC. So if I ditch all the tellies inn the house and just watch itv, sky etc on the PC I still have to pay them? What about mobile phones? The way its heading traditional box-in-the-corner telly is on its way out – how are they going to police all these new platforms?

  259. 259
    TH Robin Cock says:

    He only paraded his children so no-one would boo him out of Downing Street.

  260. 260
    vending machine salesman. says:

    We don’t like his sort in our profession.

  261. 261
    Swamp Creature says:

    He’s a man of the people. His main recreation outside politics is sitting on the sofa and eating chips.

  262. 262
    I hate New Labour says:

    Not a chance.

    Labour remember how having a bald Hague and Ian D-S led to them getting hammered in election defeats.

    This is such an appearance-obsessed world now, there’ll never be another bald PM.

  263. 263
    Unbelievable. The dozy whatsit sees the Mincer as a 'victim' says:

    You were a wonderful Chancellor, and brilliant Prime Minister (especially since it seems the media was against you from the start, and Tony stepped out just as things were going pear-shaped).

    I hope that you enjoy having this time to spend with your family!


  264. 264
    I hate New Labour says:

    Hard to argue with that.

  265. 265
    Olympic profligacy says:

    The Athen’s Olympics didn’t exactly help out the Greek economy did it?

    “Olympics seem to bring out profligacy in even buttoned-down governments. Consider Athens, where 21 of the 22 stadiums erected for the 2004 Olympics were reported last year to be unoccupied. The $14.4 billion cost of that party is being cited by some as a source of Greece’s potentially destabilizing fiscal troubles.”

  266. 266
    Smig says:

    It takes a towering intellect to build a towering house of cards.

  267. 267
    The Independent has shit front pages says:

    Early favourites never win

    The Milibands come across as wonkish

    My money’s on Andy Burnham, telegenic, not a southerner, yet being Scouse he gets a pass from the Scots

  268. 268
    DHSS says:

    Are you trying to have more kids to increase your child allowance?

  269. 269
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Dear Guido. Do you have any rules about one deluded “scientific socialist” troll posting himself as a conversation?

  270. 270
    South of the M4 says:

    As long as there is a bold one then that is fine.

  271. 271
    South of the M4 says:

    And quiet a few of them twice it appears.

  272. 272
    Anonymous says:

    bald men didn’t do well as Tory leaders after 1997. I doubt that they will as Labour leaders either. The Lib_Cons will be rubbing their hands together in glee.

  273. 273
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Dear Ned. You are not the only one. Yesterday a surgery pharmacist smiled a welcome (platonic, twats) found my medicine, looked for and processed my wife’s medicine, AND the prescriptions were properly made up. Is this the beginning of the end of the NHS as a monolithic socialist construct?

  274. 274
    Top Boy says:

    TaT buried Gordon Brown.
    He did a better job of traducing and displacing Gordon than all you bleating Tory trolls put together.

  275. 275
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    More evidence that Labgone have yet to resolve their institutionalised congnitive dissonance. I do hope they won’t be able to get treatment due to “economy measures” they inflicted on the NHS,

  276. 276
    I hate New Labour says:

    One word in response to anyone that thinks D.Miliband’s going to win: banana.

  277. 277

    To: master toryboys – May 14, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Don’t worry, you came to the right people. We can help you. We have diagnosed you as having a chronic case of Cleggophancy. This is a known psychological condition that can be teeated by effective modern techniques, lobotomy being the most humane example.

    However your posting of a youtube video of Clegg (half of the Cammy Nicker coalition) highlights all that is wrong about the Lib Dems.

    Clegg’s speech, shown in your video, was at an anti global warming wankfest in December 2009. This was at the height of a record-breaking cold spell. As it stands right now, we are experiencing the coldest May since 1955. Anyway, we mustn’t let cold hard facts ruin a nice fluffy sounding theology.

    Did you notice in the video, that Clegg stated it was possible for an old aged pensioner (he initially mentioned “she” but was heckled by the audience to include “he” or “she”) who has to heat one room to pay more for heating than a millionaire trying to heat a 5 story mansion?

    Sorry, but even those who failed GCSE maths (Labour have made it almost impossible by the way) could see a slight flaw (or floor, ha ha ha) in that argument.

    Unless of course the millionaire’s 5 story mansion was Clegg’s own mansion whose heating bills are paid for by us, not by him. Hmmm.

  278. 278
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The ultimate aim of Thatcherism was to install a second party of government which was not “scientific socialist”. If Lib Dems don’t explode under the structural changes needed to become an acceptable alternative government, which means making the most of an unbelievably generous and foresighted offer from the only current natural party of government, then Thatcherism will have fulfilled it’s purpose.
    We unreconstructed Thatcherites will die happy, our life’s work complete.

  279. 279
    Yes says:


  280. 280

    women: just not that bright.


  281. 281
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    It’s probably why it nearly flummoxed CCHQ as well :)

  282. 282
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    watching porn on expenses?

  283. 283
    The Morris Marina a log laid by British Leyland says:

    YES YES YES. If you watch ANY live TV on any device you must pay the drug addicts and rent boy shaggers £142.50 a year.

  284. 284
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Brown’s decided that the Nation needs him as an MP. I’m really looking forward to watching his face, when he gets away from the inqusition of various Parliamentary committees and sits in the House while his reign of terror is torn apart in ministerial statements and Parliamentary debate. 2 years popcorn to be ordered immediatley!

  285. 285
    You know who says:


  286. 286
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    THat is a truly evil and bigoted remark – I’ve now got tea all over the keyboard and need to change my underwear.

  287. 287
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    No-one in the shadow cabinet over 5′ 3″? It must be the only criteria Labgone have left.

  288. 288
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Check world markets – they are all in free-fall on rumours of Germany abandoning support of the Euro. Muppet.

  289. 289
    Hahaha!!! says:

    The Guaridna is fucked. Dave’s gonna stop putting govt adverts in it. Down the pan it goes.

  290. 290
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    i refer you to tha answer I gave to the deluded Mr Day some moments ago.

  291. 291
    Madme Defarge says:

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Lots of strange rumours that need digging into. Blackmail? Definitely corruption and we still have to watch the Scottish Labour/Purcell/Organised Crime scandal unravel publicly.

  292. 292
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    +++Prolonged Applause+++

  293. 293
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The Romans invented feet and inches. South West French markets still sell eggs by the dozen. The people united will not be defeated!

  294. 294
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    That’s a shame. I’d counted on all the left-wing loonies dumping cleggy in disgust at becoming sensible and rejoining Labour to make it unelectable. Another dream shattered.

  295. 295
    Grumpy Old Man says:


  296. 296
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    winston churchill?

  297. 297
    Granny smith says:

    It has to be Mad Jack.

  298. 298
    Missing Gobshite already says:

    Well said!

  299. 299

    I’ll upset his applecart.

  300. 300

    A Burnham fool and his money are easy parted.

  301. 301

    How did you find that out?

    Who told you?

    Exterminate exterminate.

  302. 302
    Missing Gobshite already says:

    Oh Gorgon, I weelly miss you………………..[sob]

  303. 303
    Missing Gobshite already says:

    A nightmare! By the way, brilliant blog.

  304. 304
    Beeb Watch says:

    The Beeboids do, you can see/feel the fawning when the Beeboid journalists? examine the Zanu machinations in their procedures, they revel and revere in the words PLP, NEC and the senior figures in these bodies and the unions! The Beeboids never connect the disasters of this country with the Liebour party and give them everyday hell for what they have done. They are using the Leadership contest to give them a lot of broadcast time, FFS there is nobody fecki’ interested FCS!!!

  305. 305
    The Watcher. says:

    You’ve missed nothing , it was shite.

  306. 306
    Peter Alliss says:

    £10 is par for the course!

  307. 307
    George Clue-Knee says:

    Why are you picking on me?

  308. 308
    Gordon, whizz-economics saviour of the world, snot eater extraordinaire says:


  309. 309
    I've met Sally, up the alley says:

    Speaker of Truth

    Are you one of the Bercows?

  310. 310
    Stuart Seacole Smith says:

    Well said anonymous. So many people feel this way, though most can’t articulate it quite so well. I for one felt a sickening emptiness when the “hung” result was finally confirmed. Brown crowed about denying the conservatives a majority. Many wept at the fact that working to get things right has been dealt a blow it could well have done without. I’d like to offer a thoroughly ironic “well done” to:
    – Brown and cronies for their immigration gerrymandering – possibly the most expensive votes ever bought in history
    – those “high-minded” pillocks who voted Libdem or UKIP instead of Con
    – those low-minded pillocks who voted BNP
    – and last but not least, the unbelievable number of ostensibly sane people who somehow managed to vote labour. I reckon many of them would have voted for a crumbly dog-turd if it had a red rosette stuck in it, “cuz their dad did”.

    And as for the quote in the above article “…This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life…”, well, words just fail me.

  311. 311
    TrustyShield says:

    Liam is being a little coy. It was completely unsustainable for Labour to spend 25% more than it is earning on underpriveleged areas like Edgbaston just to buy the vote.

    If the government is borrowing 25p of every £1 they are spending, how long do the idiot beneficiaries of Labour’s largesse think that could continue.

    Obviously rich people richer, poor people poorer, the worst recession ever, more people unemployed than ever before and the biggest debt ever is why “This country is immeasurably fairer and stronger for Gordon Brown’s extraordinary political life.”

    Only Labour idiots like Liam beleive these lies and they get the (local) government they deserve (just look at Hackney).

  312. 312
    Prezza says:

    Pauline and me is discolorant in our missing of your manginificent presents.
    I’s so unhappy I’s cleared the local chippie of their monthly stock.
    Allwayz you’re friend

    (hey, Pauline love, whose I ment to be distressing? )

    Like I says, allwayz you’re friend Snotman

  313. 313
    Jack D (all for wimmin shortlists) says:

    Hey, you pickin’ on my bird?

  314. 314
    As is Alan Bennett says:

    Yes, a real Talking Head.

  315. 315
    Ad Age says:

    Hair today, gone tomorrow.

  316. 316
    Anonymous says:

    Quite right. And, by the way, you acted like the Opposition during your whole reign. Everything you did, every criticism you faced, you turned round to be a criticism of the Tories. So much so that some people I meet were blaming the Tories for job cuts, funding underflows, bad management and worse, for the past few years.

    Make as good a fist of being the Opposition when you are, as you did when you weren’t, and you will have finally earned some respect.

  317. 317
    I looked forward to the Christmas ads says:

    That’s the wonder of, er, Gordon.

  318. 318
    Juno (cos I didn't) says:

    And their ships did so many miles to the galleon.

  319. 319
    Desperate Dan says:

    Londoners don’t want it. We weren’t asked if we wanted it. The bastards just told us we had to pay for it. We’re dreading the arrival of the world’s criminals (known to the previous government as “fans) who’ll be given British citizenship shortly afterward they arrive. If no-one comes out and tells us how they’re going to ensure that the “fans” and “athletes” go home afterwards then I’ll go on thinking the worst.

  320. 320
    Desperate Dan says:

    You’re not allowed to talk about voting fraud. We have to pretend it never happens – just like the last time.

  321. 321
    Desperate Dan says:

    When Miliprat was paracuted into the constituency of South Shields the previous occupant has 72% of the vote – 27,000. With each election Miliprat’s share has shrunk a bit more. Now it 52% of the vote – 18,000. They’re moving in the right direction.

  322. 322
    Anonymous says:

    The Milpedes should be made to suffer for the insults their father threw at us.

  323. 323
    lolol says:

    Dave is keeping his powder dry.

  324. 324
    Smig says:

    Your bird is a fucking waste of space. A hang-on. A gobshite. A fucking retard of the highest order.

    Congratulations on “winning” that stupendously retarded part of North Birmingham.

    If you trough I’ll find out about it and have your bollocks for breakfast. Kapisch?

  325. 325
    Smig says:

    I know different. Bring it on Slaphead, and I’ll drag you through the Crown Courts under Common Law. Don’t fuck with me.

  326. 326
    Small Bald Man Syndrome says:

    Hahaha, I well remember ‘call me Liam’ at the Home Office bollocking a Bath University intern for not bringing him his soup promptly at the required time. She was rather annoyed by this given it happened in front of a room full of people.

    What a throbber.

  327. 327
    Small Bald Man Syndrome says:

    Just twice?

  328. 328
    Small Bald Man Syndrome says:

    Bollocks, we need to agree what sort of stain. Was it a spunk or shit stain for example?

  329. 329
    Small Bald Man Syndrome says:

    Ah yes, how I long for the return of Jim’s mate ‘Chalky’.

  330. 330
    Gordoom cooks the books says:

    good point well put what has always puzzeled me is do (did) the labour elite Bradshaw Byrne Milliband Mandleson Alexander Adonis Burnham etc really hand on heart believe the SPIN over the years I ask this as it pains me to say they do seem to have of some degree of intelligance or are they just dishonest ,has anyone got any views on this pls note I leave out Brown Balls Harmen as they are clearly THICK LYING TWATS plain and simple

  331. 331
    Gordoom cooks the books says:

    apparently it is custom for the outgoing pm to welcome the incoming by handing over the keys to chequers with the line have a good weekend,but guess what Cyclops just pissed of and left the keys on the table surprise surprise and this from a man of substace my arse

  332. 332
    Gordoom cooks the books says:

    1,000,000 immigrants plus 250,000 postal votes all called mahmood and from same address nuff said

  333. 333

    […] trust Liam Byrne or that bitch Harman. Damian has a media grid to deal with them if they try anything.  Tom […]

  334. 334
    Samantha says:

    Correct. All my friends and family in London were appalled when London won. It was just the politicos (led by the Newt-Lover) who wanted it for their own self-aggrandisement. Londoners know it will be a burden on their Council Tax for many years, and a net financial drain, never mind the dreadful congestion and chaos it will cause while running

    And huge areas of the East End have been made no-go areas from the get-go, small businesses ruined, there is a whole catalogue of enormities connected with this boondoggle

  335. 335
    Sam the First says:

    Well said. I’ve spent most of the last 15 years enraged
    (Newsnight and John Major were equally enraging pre-1997)

  336. 336
    Sam the First says:

    Vast numbers of apparently sane and at least minimally educated people fail to make any distinction between the service and state sectors of the economy, and the productive part. they just don;t seem t o understand (or won’t) that the latter has to pay for the former. They persist in their belief that one form of economic activity is as good as any other.

    That is why they have kept on voting Labour – and always will. Even if they understood they were wrong, they would never admit it – lefties never do

  337. 337
    ANY Direct Democracy is COMMUNISM says:

    Exactly, yet more nauseating cowardice – hiding behind little ones.

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

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