Last Night’s Debate in 60 Seconds

Are You a Tory Chihuahua?

Nigel Farage is up against John Bercow, the Speaker of the House of Commons, in Buckingham. He is appealing for funds to support his campaign online and he is also running fundraising advertising in the arch-Tory magazine the Spectator.

Buckingham is of course a rock solid Tory seat held by an expense fiddling, mortgage flipping member of parliament.

So why is Farage running there?

Because there are a lot of chihuahuas in British politics – and they  have votes and they are angry.  ChIHUAHuas are Conservatives In their Heads, Ukip At Heart.  Some are hardcore irreconcilable Eurosceptics, some are disappointed with the melting away of the cast iron guarantee and many more are just mainstream conservatives who vote Tory because in their heads they know it is the only realistic choice they have, even though they are UKIP sympathisers at heart. Chihuahuas are off that loyalty leash in Buckingham, which because Bercow is the speaker hasn’t even got a nominally Conservative Party candidate. Bercow is universally loathed by grassroots conservatives as well as more establishment Tories up to and including David Cameron.

Whatever they say publicly there will be cheering in CCHQ if Bercow loses. Many will see it as a conservative gain, Farage’s politics are their politics after a few gin and tonics; cut taxes, stuff the EU, cut spending and show a bit of pride in being British.  Chihauhuas may be small, but they can’t half nip…

Friday Caption Competition (Fool and Fuld Edition)

+ + + GDP Growth Weak : 0.2% + + +

Consensus economists were predicting 0.4%.  Gordon will use this to spin that this means he can’t cut the deficit because it would take spending out of the economy.  Cutting taxes would of course boost the private sector and keep more money in the economy.  In recent years Cananda and Sweden have both cut government overspending by 10% in a recession and achieved strong economic growth…

Happy St George’s Day

As my own country inches towards unity and complete self-determination, Guido will say a prayer to St George that within two weeks England too can achieve sovereignty and freedom from rule by foreigners from the North of the British Isles.  Guido will say another prayer for the re-Catholicisation of England and that you will succeed in driving the Scottish Presbyterian overlords from your lands.

Even if your patron saint is actually a Turk and sadly you don’t get a national holiday today, St George’s day should be celebrated. With both a German-descended head-of-state and a Scots dominated government, it must all be a little demoralising.

Nevertheless, this Irishman would like to wish all his English readers a happy St George’s day. Cheers!

Second Debate – The ANTI Spin Room

Click HERE for a live stream from our sister station Sky News.

The stage is set, the polls are down for Clegg and the spin is already beginning. Below you can see what the right pundits are saying. Emily Nomates will be filing from the Bristol spin room, Tory Bear has fired up the TweetDeck and Guido is hitting Smarkets hard. Welcome to the Guy News ANTI Spin Room.

Emily Nomates will be sending in behind the scenes pictures. Wonder what these two really wanted to say to each other.  They look like they are getting on like a house on fire.

UPDATE: During the angry Dave leaflet ding dong Gordon denied that he had authorised any such leaflet. Meanwhile in the Spin Room Gove calls Whelan: “Did you pay for them Charlie?” Cue look of absolute death.

Prezza Avoids Punching Protester

A fat man dressed up as John Prescott has ended up nicked after he followed the original  around while he was campaigning in the East End. The heavies were called in and the police led the alleged Tory council candidate away.

Sadly before Prescott had the opportunity to thump him.

Quote of the Day

Britain has delusions of importance” says Simon Hughes.

Ban The Bercow

The non-partisan online fund-raising site YouFund.Me.uk has raised thousands in small online donations to beat Ed Balls, hundreds to unseat Nadine Dorries and is aiming to raise even more money for Nigel Farage in his bid to unseat Bercow.  Guido […]

+ READ MORE +

Sky’s the Limit

Sky News are obviously very excited about their debate tonight, but projecting the leader’s faces on the side of the white cliffs of Dover is perhaps a little bit of an over-kill. The nation’s media is descending on Bristol, ready […]

+ READ MORE +

+ + + Fire Alarm Has Gone Off at Labour HQ + + +

Staff milling around aimlessly outside.  Bit of a metaphor for the campaign really…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Balls Upsets the Townsfolk

It’s an increasingly tight race in Morley and Outwood and Ed Balls is getting desperate. Punters give the Tories a 47% chance of taking the seat. Last weekend the town turned out for its annual St George’s day celebration. Despite […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Liz Kendall is asked by Tom Newton Dunn if she would ever ban the Sun from one of her press conferences:

“If you stripped naked and ran in front of me, Tom, I might have second thoughts about it, but apart from that, no.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Labour Candidate: Repatriating Tunisia Victims is ‘Imperialist Militarisation’ Labour Candidate: Repatriating Tunisia Victims is ‘Imperialist Militarisation’
Tory MP’s House Husband on Public Payroll Tory MP’s House Husband on Public Payroll
Corbyn Blames Tunisia Terror on “Austerity” Corbyn Blames Tunisia Terror on “Austerity”
Norwich MP’s Brilliant Accidental Partridge Norwich MP’s Brilliant Accidental Partridge
FRIDAY PROCRASTINATION: BING PONG FRIDAY PROCRASTINATION: BING PONG
Uber Suspend Services in France Uber Suspend Services in France

Gerald Kaufman: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist” Gerald Kaufman: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist”
Environment Minister Totty Watch Environment Minister Totty Watch
MEGA INTERCONTINENTAL ROBOT WARS MEGA INTERCONTINENTAL ROBOT WARS
Dave Meets UKIP Dave Meets UKIP
Secret Fracking Report Doesn’t Reveal Much Secret Fracking Report Doesn’t Reveal Much
Environmental Advantages of Airport Expansion Environmental Advantages of Airport Expansion
PMQS SKETCH PMQS SKETCH
“Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic” Skinner “Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic” Skinner
Missed PMQs? Catch Up in Full Here Missed PMQs? Catch Up in Full Here
Do you have what it takes to join a GCHQ hacking SCHOOL? Do you have what it takes to join a GCHQ hacking SCHOOL?
IDS Expenses Row: Was Credit Card Suspended Or Not? IDS Expenses Row: Was Credit Card Suspended Or Not?
Questions Channel 4 News Don’t Want to Ask Questions Channel 4 News Don’t Want to Ask
Zac and Boris Warn Dave Zac and Boris Warn Dave