April 30th, 2010

+ + + Bristol Returning Officer Confirms Police Investigation + + +

Looks like Kerry McCarthy and her agent will have to explain themselves to the police.  She really puts the twit in twitter…


206 Comments

  1. 1
    Kerry McCarthy says:

    She doesn’t come from SHunthorpe, does she?

  2. 2
    nbnhgngh says:

    Twat more like

  3. 5
    gone fuckin mental says:

    if carlsberg down twats……..

  4. 8
    Rt Hoon Tony Bliar says:

    Kerry McCarthy is a good comrade and friend.

    She is the greatest.

    Twit that.

  5. 9
    Backwoodsman says:

    Hilarious – check out the ‘Car Crash’ , Times story link. Thats tomorrows headline sorted.
    ‘Totally unapologetic binmen’ , verses grovelling appologist brown.

  6. 10
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Guido, can we get the un in to make sure our election isnt corrupt?

    • 166
      Anonymous says:

      And when the next Parliament convenes can we have Elizabeth Filkin re-appointed to oversee the the expenses & allowances claims?

  7. 11
    rated says:

    Dear anyone with a good understanding of the electoral system:

    Could she be disqualified from the runnings due to this?

    • 36
      Mong-U-Mental says:

      “anyone with a good understanding of the electoral system”

      We vote every 4 + bit years, and LibLabCon win.

    • 73
      Steve Expat says:

      She can’t be disqualified from standing for election once nominations have closed.

      She can be prosecuted and jailed though, which if it happens will now be after the election. Her position as an MP (if elected) would end if she is jailed, would be pretty untenable if convicted and not jailed though!

      I didn’t think she realised just how seriously this is taken, it is interference in the electoral process…

    • 165
      One Eyed Jap says:

      She can fiddle with my election any time she likes.

  8. 12
    La' says:

    Kerry4HMP Horfield

  9. 14
    gone fuckin mental says:

    why does mcarthy need a agent? shes a fucking mp not a footballer

    • 104
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Electoral agents are part of the ballot process, not that twittertwat has any transfer value whatsoever, indeed transporting her to the nearest point of windowless incarceration is going to cost us … again.

  10. 15
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    Hang ‘em!

  11. 16
    English Heretic says:

    Meanwhile, in Tower Hamlets……

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23829658-police-alerted-to-postal-vote-fraud-claims-across-capital.do

    I wonder what party gains the most from Postal Voting?

    • 44
      Anonymous says:

      Totally outrageous! Postal votes should be an option only for those physically unable to get to the polling station!

    • 75
      Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

      My girlfriend postal vote is sitting downstairs…im tempted to replace the Labour candidates name with Adolf Hitler just to ensure she doesnt vote for the feckwits…

      Of course I wont actually do that as it would be a crime….but it is tempting…

    • 194
      Julius Malema says:

      Why oh why oh why does this stupid country not restrict the right to vote to British citizens?

      No other country in the world lets all and sundry vote in its elections. It is a total joke.

  12. 17
    Manlickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    Can she be sacked before she goes to prison?

  13. 18
    School for Scoundrels says:

    Gameon# hehehehehe

  14. 19
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Is this all over the news?

  15. 22
    Postal Vote Confetti says:

    Man receives 18 postal votes and only 10 people live in his house!

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23829658-police-alerted-to-postal-vote-fraud-claims-across-capital.do

  16. 23
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Maybe Gordon learnt from karzi on how to steal a election

  17. 27
    Em says:

    She puts the ‘Corrupt Labour Huntwhore’ in Twitter

  18. 28
    Manlickscum & Sweaty Balls says:

    Tweetocracy in action.

  19. 31
    jgm2 says:

    It’s Sam’s fault.

  20. 33
    I want revenge says:

    Dear David,

    When you take power next week please pass laws to

    1) deny public sector workers the right to vote. Only private sector workers (i.e. real tax payers) should have the right to vote.

    2) anybody claming benefits for more than 12 months should also be denied the right to vote in any election. Unless the suffer from a real proven disability.

    3) Rework the postal voting system. They (liebour) are using the system against you.

    4) create a special task force to hunt down, arrest (in secret, yes we will allow it) every single liebour traitor, including the actual liebour voters.

    5) arrest tony blair and have him air droped in helmand province, naked, alone, at night.

    5) we need a live, televised, world wide broadcast of gordon brown, mandlescum, tiny balls, millipede twins, harriet hatemen and all the other twats begin hung together, the TV camera must zoom in on gordon brown face as he twitches, have a good quality boom mic to pickup the SNAP as his vertebras separate.

    Once complete I will provide you with another, MORE draconian list. cheers me ol mukka.

  21. 46

    Bristol East candidate and party ‘Twitter tsar’ Kerry McCarthy said she was “kicking herself” after the gaffe.

    If she needs any help…

    • 56
      Ordinary bloke... says:

      I would be more than happy to assist if needed…

    • 61
      gone fuckin mental says:

      would be a laugh

    • 76
      Spank Sinatra says:

      And why not fully embrace the new age technology and record it on your mobile phone and upload to facebook. It is the right thing to do.

    • 133
      Smig says:

      HM Govt Health Warning:

      Kicking Kerry4HMP up the arse may result in the permanent loss of a limb.

  22. 50
    gone fuckin mental says:

    Lets be honest , is anyone suprised?

  23. 52
    Ordinary bloke... says:

    Here’s my 2 cents on the leaders :

    I’d happily sit down with Dave for a chat over a pint, nice enough chap, seems to listen to people.

    Gordon – wouldn’t want to be in the same room as him, I’d just want to pour the pint over him.

    Nick looks too young to buy a pint so I’d have to check his ID first.

    Guess my vote will be going to Dave.

  24. 60
    the real lolol not the one who's using my moniker says:

    Cleggy doesnt want to be in any cabinet,he wants to scrap the Eurofighter so he’s just lost Preston/Lancashire area votes

  25. 63
    The Pills aren't working says:

    I think Gordon is on the verge of a nervous breakdown or even death.

    http://www.daylife.com/photo/0ahpbY365p58V

  26. 66
    Jimmy says:

    Is it too late to start some sort of internet campaign to get her out?

    In the right hands it could be a big hit.

  27. 68
    BillyBob - Stop immigration - reduce crime! says:

    Postal votes popular with Labour, allows for manipulation and our resident 3rd world friends to help them…….

    Nothing will happen, only Tories go to prison !!

  28. 77
    march25 says:

    Guido, you’re still breaking the law since you have a copy of her post still online. You are as much at fault of revealing the number of postal votes for parties in Bristol East as Kerry at the minute. Might be an idea to take it down? All other news sources have either deleted the message or removed the precise figures, which is what is breaking the law. Or maybe you think you’re above the law too?

  29. 78
    Gillian It's all Sue's fault. says:

    Where’s the Friday Caption Guido? It’s not as if there is any lack of material this week

  30. 90
    Mrs Crewe says:

    Today is the 65th anniversary of Hilter’s suicide. Lets hope that Herr Brown is inspired

    • 105
      Sir William Waad says:

      Hopefully it will inspire Herr Balls as it did Mr Goebbels.

      • 113
        Mrs Crewe says:

        and Count von Mandelson

      • 140
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        Hitler has only got one ball
        Goering has got two but small
        Himmler has something similar
        But Gordon’s got Ed Balls so they’re fucked.

        (c) Dame Vera Lynn 1941

        • 201
          Axe The Telly Tax says:

          Whistle while you work
          Ed Balls is a twerp
          He’s half barmy
          So’s his party
          Whistle while you work

  31. 94
    Sir William Waad says:

    She’s lucky she didn’t give her child a cheese sandwich for lunch. Then she’s really be for it!

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/real_food/article7112140.ece

    • 131
      Engineer says:

      Hmmm….Wigan Council enforcing the “five-a-day” rule.

      There is a certain delicious irony here – Wigan is the spiritual home of the Meat Pie.

      What do you call three meat pies stacked up? A Wigan wedding cake.

      What do you call three meat pies on a skewer? A Wigan kebab.

      Any other offers?

      • 149
        Jethro says:

        What do you call a number of meat pies, cut up, and artfully strewed around a plate?
        A Wigan Salad.

        • 154
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I find none of the above funny.

          Some people don’t like fruit cakes with icing on appealing for the most important day of their life. (hufff)

  32. 98
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I just heard ni ck grif fin say that Iraq was a safe place to go to for asylum seekers.

  33. 99
    Leibor_by_name_and_Nature says:

    A Bedtime Tale of Fluffy the Sheepdog

    Once upon a time there was a sheepdog named Fluffy. When he was a puppy he was treated so well and played often with the children who loved him. He had a large kennel that was heated in the winter and as he learned to work for his masters he was a very happy dog.
    Then one day his masters decided to adopt stray dogs who were not Sheepdogs. Fluffy did not mind having to move from his big kennel to a smaller one and to share his food since he was a happy dog and he was pleased to have lots of new friends to see back at home after his hard days work since the children were by then tired from playing with the stray dogs.
    Over time, however his masters needed Fluffy to work harder and for longer hours because he was the only dog who knew how to herd sheep. Sometimes fluffy got so tired that he tried to lie down and sleep. When this happened his masters scolded and kicked him for being a lazy dog, which made fluffy feel hopelessly sad and lonely.
    One Winter it was exceedingly cold and Fluffy felt so unhappy living in his unheated kennel with just one small meal a day that he longed to be in the larger and warmer kennel where the stray dogs were so warm, well fed and comfy.
    Tell me Daddy. What was the name of that horrible person who was Fluffy’s master?
    Well if you want to know children it was Gordon.
    What was Fluffy the sheepdog’s real name Daddy?
    No it wasn’t actually (how did you guess). It was a lady sheepdog and her real name was Gillian – Gillian Fluffy.
    Why did Fluffy not run away and find a new Master Daddy?
    That’s the strangest thing children. Fluffy could have changed his master any time!

  34. 106
  35. 112
    Engineer says:

    Not wishing to tempt fate, but most of the Trolls seem very quiet today. Have we offended them, or are they upset about something?

    • 125
      Steve Expat says:

      They’ve realised that some things are just beyond saving, so have gone to the pub in anticipation of the long weekend…

      What else can you say to Labour’s poster launch this morning being literally car crash TV?

      • 138
        Engineer says:

        The Monty Python team are green with envy, Armando Iannucci is cursing that he didn’t think of it for “The Thick Of It”.

        Can’t wait for the Youtube clips…

      • 146
        The Admiral says:

        Thanks chaps. Made me smile… a lot….

    • 142
      Smig says:

      Double POETS day today Engineer.

      No trolling until Tuesday lunchtime at earliest.

    • 155
      Animal says:

      Oh, they’re awaiting orders, whiling away the time with gawping at some East European woman taking her clothes off on an adult webcam chatroom site.

      However, their masters are all at sea. Manglebum is being calmed down after his tantrum last night, Balls is asking his wife about some very intimate texts she sent while he was in Morley which weren’t for him, Campbell is back on the bottle, Whelan has caught a flight back to Scotland to hide, McBride has a new yardbroom to break in, Harman has been placed in a hermetically sealed chamber to stop annoying the mincing one, Prescott’s Transit has run out of diesel next to a Little Chef – and boy, are they happy to see him! – and Milliband is preparing his leadership speech. They did call Frank field and ask for help but he just started laughing. A lot.

      So they’re just sitting there, waiting for the supreme leader to haul himself away from causing accidents in Birmingham and ask his beard to write them all an email with lots of tractor stats and lies about those nasty Tories.

    • 174
      Putin says:

      Public Sector/Bank Holiday next week -must be Friday off.Either that or they have had to recover from being forced to troll the Guardian’s site to death after bigotgate.

      Delicious irony that.

  36. 118
    RatCatcher says:

    There is more on John Cowan’s favorite website! Pistonheads.com

    http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=205&t=845606&i=20&mid=0&nmt=Bristol%20East%20Postal%20Vote%20Scandal!!%20STAND%20UP%20AND%20BE%20HEARD!

    Has Kerry done this so everyone will forget her involvement in the Cowangate affair? She still has not come clean about why she did not tell any of her Labour friends about Mr Cowan! Just where and who with! Did she stay with at the Labour Party Conference in Brighton?

    John Cowan lost his condom during sex?

    http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4846616.htm

    Now just where did he loose it?

    http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8032378.aspx

    Did he loose it in the ‘Twitter Witch’?

    Answers here please!

    • 181
      Smig says:

      Scroll down on the lost condom thread…

      “Never lost a condom, but did hear of a uh lost object, rather funny story. A surgeon friend told me about a case he had. He got called into the emergency room at a local hospital to remove what was correctly termed a foreign. When he arrived, he found a young man in some distress but mostly embarrasment. It seems as if he and his partner were playing enthusiastically with among other things a small vibrator. It was one of the little bullet shaped self contained battery operated ones. Now they are designed to be inserted into the vagina. In the proper location they are easily removed with a finger. After all, where could they go? However when inserted into the anus, well that presents a slightly different problem.

      I asked my friend how he knew the object was still there? He said, “oh that was easy, I just put a stethescope on his belly and I could hear it still happily buzzing away.”

      Hahahahahahahaha!

  37. 120
    Cynic says:

    This may come in handy as training material for Bristol Labour Party members

    One assumes that the weekly surgery may be done in visiting time. At least we can congratulate her for committing offences BEFORE getting elected unlike her colleagues currently appearing at various courts

  38. 124
    (Deep in thought contemplates, then) says:

    (A) Shun, (B) Shag or (C) Marry.

  39. 128
    Postman Twat says:

    O/T has Tango Tony got some disease, he looks like utter shit. I hope it’s not a nasty painful lingering condition.

  40. 132
    Mrs Duffy says:

    When I was born you met the government.no one met them again until death. Now they are in every part of our lives and taxing us for it, the more they get in the more it will cost us

  41. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Yo Blair ! Looks like Tutankhamun without the death mask .

    • 156
      The Escaping Fox says:

      Give him another year and he’ll be a ringer for Godfrey in Dad’s Army

  42. 150
    Mrs Duffy says:

    I, am Mrs Duffy.

  43. 152
    Momentum says:

    After seeing this photo I had to check his age. He is 57 on election day and he doesn’t look any less than 20 years older in this photo. Not quite as wrinkled as your average 77 year old but this is another thing to make me smile in the last couple of days. If you read this Blair you look like shit. Brown fucked and Blair ageing like he will turn to dust by the next general election. Hardly solves the worlds problems, but at least the people I truly hate look like death or our nearing it in political terms.

  44. 158
    Come on, fair play says:

    Let’s be honest, some of the posts here are just a little offensive.

    • 160
      Animal says:

      Consider it a quite natural reaction to 13 years of being lied to by a Government only interested in power and not the future of this country.

    • 175
      Anonymous says:

      That’s the problem; they’re only a little offensive.

    • 179
      Beness says:

      Let’s be honest, the last thirteen years have been pretty offensive.

    • 182
      Bob Page says:

      You say that like it’s a bad thing. What is wrong with being offensive?

      • 205
        Baz says:

        Kerry McCarthy-Blogspot MP has committed a crime meriting 6 months worth of offensiveness for attempting to pervert the democratic course. She has also asked for 5 years’ slavish adherence to nulabor’s social-nightmare not to be taken into account.

        So don’t go trying to comment on her blog. She doesn’t like that and is wont to get Very Cross.

  45. 167
    And he's in a school says:

    fuck me Brown is acting like gary Glitter in a school

  46. 170
    Kim Jong says:

    My God how N Korea will this Hunt go? He just had a 10 year old ask about post code prescription drugs

  47. 172
    Labour no place for Bigots says:

    She should be suspended as a candidate pending police investigation and all votes cast for her declared null and void

    • 177
      Mr. Abdi says:

      Please no!

      It took me ages to fill in all those posting ballots!

    • 190
      righty right wing (mrs) says:

      Now we know why so many New Labour types visit the Warlord President of Kabul Karzai – they have really learnt alot from him about winning elections before they begin.

      Anyone else totally sick & tired of the LIB / LAB / CON media overload in this election?

      It is as if the media elite & the political elite are conspiring to dominate the media to shun any opportunity for real change in Westminster.

      Still, let them have their day. They have ignored democracy & the will of the people – they cannot be too surprised when the people do the same & solve our democratic deficit via other means.

  48. 191
    BillyBob - Stop immigration - reduce crime! says:

    I hope the investigation has a better ending than this one…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1270021/British-Muslim-daubs-war-memorial-Islamic-slogans–CPS-says-NOT-racially-motivated.html

  49. 192
    RatCatcher says:

    I thought John Cowan wanted to ‘twitter’ into Kerry! Just where did he loose his condom during the Labour Party conference in Brighton?

  50. 198
    Mr Ned says:

    Fuckinghell! Has that cunt not been arrested for war crimes yet? WTF???

  51. 203
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Can someone explain how a breach of electoral law is spun into breaking ‘the rules.’

  52. 206


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