April 27th, 2010

Peppa Pig has Left the Building

Labour last night issued a press release last night promising:

Peppa Pig Accepts Labour Invitation to Join Visit to Children’s Centre
The Labour Party has organised a visit to a children’s centre in South London to highlight our policies to support families. Yvette Cooper and Tessa Jowell will be shown around the centre and we are delighted that Peppa Pig, the star of children’s television, has accepted our invitation to join the visit.

For those of you without children under 5, Peppa Pig is a mega-star phenomenon, bigger than even Elvis nowadays.  Guido understands that Peppa Pig has pulled out of the event for fear it would be seen as an endorsement of the Labour Party…

UPDATE : Scenes of devastating disappointment at the Coin Street Nursery as tearful toddlers and young mothers learn a bitter lesson: Labour breaks its promises. Tearful toddlers asking “Where’s Peppa Pig? You promised!” Angry mothers and wailing children can only blame the wicked witches; Yvette and Tessa. Yvette has just issued one of her barmy soundbites “the Conservative and Liberal Democrats would form a ‘Coalition of Cuts for Children’ that would put children in the frontline for spending cuts”.  Not claiming they would actually eat your babies – which was probably what Ed Balls wanted to claim.


  1. 1
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Oink! Oink!


    • 2
      fuck me! says:

      the pig has flown


      • 3
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Conclusion (part 94)

        The Conservatives are now frightened of promoting laissez-faire because of the bad behaviour of so many banks. Why do all the parties regard this as a black or white issue? The most effective solution should be light regulation but strongly enforced where it remains. The Aristotelian Golden Mean.

        Everyone knows the rules. It is simpler to monitor. Every so often someone gets slapped – hard.

        Kick out the kirk!


        • 11

          Peppa Pig says “fuck off, I’m not Labour”


          The company which licenses children’s TV character Peppa Pig has withdrawn her from a Labour party election event.

          The pre-school character was due to visit a children’s centre later as part of Labour’s launch of their manifesto for families.

          But E1 Entertainment said it had agreed the character should not attend the event to avoid any controversy.


          • Woman on a Raft says:

            And to avoid the curse of Jonah.

            Nice little entertainment company, pity if anyfink ‘appened to it.


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            I would feel sorry for the unemployed actor that had to wear a pig body suit. Either way – but on reflection they’re better off watching daytime TV.


          • FarmerGiles says:

            Couldn’t they take prezza instead.


          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

            Another well thought out labour plan to brainwash children backfires !
            so it’s now just the two labour pigs that will show
            and whats with this sure start for children ?
            are they now paying benefits to pre-school children now ?


          • Lord G says:

            Did anyone see Balls on Newsnight last night? He is increasingly like Comical Ali, denying there has been any issue in the labour party while the whole shooting match falls down around him… He sat there, barefaced, claiming that not a single constituent had mentioned the possibility and implications of a hung parliament… Clearly the lot of them have lost their marbles.


          • I think Labour should adopt the Clangers instead


          • 8 days to go and Dave is doing SUPER! says:

            Another pollster has the gap narrowing
            As the Guardian has broken the embargo these figures are now in the public domain.

            What is the final poll for tonight has the blues dropping but shows the yellows moving to their best ever position with the pollster.

            Looking at the detail 21% of Labour supporters and 8% of Conservative supporters at the 2005 General Election have now switched to the Lib Dems – quite significant proportions.

            What’s clear from almost all the polling is that the Lib Dem bounce is still there and that the Tories will be feeling mighty uneasy. After all a 32% share is LESS than what Michael Howard’s Tories achieved in 2005.


        • 56

          Too right, moniker – the big problem with the banks (as an elderly relative who turned down the job of head of the FSA explained to me) was that they were run by shopkeepers, who had no concept of risk.

          Under the old BOE regime, the banks would have had to have proper risk management, and the fiasco of CDOs with triple-A ratings would never have arisen, since the cheap mortgages of 5x earnings wouldn’t have been available, and the banks would have done their own risk assessments rather than relying on the credit agencies.

          But then again that was old style banking, where the work was for the benefit of the customers, and the benefits, though ample, were reasonable.


          • FUCK THE PIGGIES says:


          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            It involves banking, economics, politics and philosophy.

            To expand what you said the other day:
            Debt AND Doubt both fed into system.
            The people who run banks are not bankers.
            Confusion of “is” and “ought”.
            Financial guarantee – oxymoron.
            Moral hazard.
            They forgot about spread (both borrowing and lending).
            The failure was built into the model.
            “Too big to fail”
            Pass-the-parcel regulatory structure.
            Using inflation to ease the pain of debt.

            … and that is before we get to dishonesty and outright fraud.
            To cap it all: Don’t blame me guv, it was the USA wot dun it.

            And there is more but I can’t run it here….


        • 96
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          “Why do all the parties regard this as a black or white issue? ”

          Because we’re in a phase of electioneering politics, rather than any sort of getting-things-done sort of politics. Its too subtle a subject and too easy to be beaten down in a war of soundbites (if you’re trying to make a complicated point).


          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Tell me. And if we needed any further proof, see what IFS have said today. But I think all the parties currently look at it as black and white outside of election times too. Who amongst them have any real experience in banking or commerce?


        • 99
          The 'Leader' of a corrupt and venal 'party' says:

          Nuth’ns ma’ fult ye un’stn!


    • 15
      Pigging heck says:

      Can’t they find a Pig impersonator? It’s not as if Parliament is short of troughers.


    • 42
      Gordon Brown PM says:

      I hope we will have time to bathe some boys


    • 149
      Angela Merkel war meine Haushälterin says:

      No wonder Peppa Pig didn’t fancy sharing the spotlight with those couple of mindless Sows…


    • 186
      Conservative Bus Conductor says:

      That’s £2.80 for you and the kid and £1.10 for the tax as the kid is under two


      • 253
        Labour Bus Conductor says:

        Czyli ÂŁ2.80 pod kątem ty i ja ten koźlę i ÂŁ1.10 pod kątem ten taksa równie ten koźlę jest wobec dwa


  2. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Snouts in the trough again!


  3. 4
    aiden o'fovit says:

    Still as impartial as ever,Guido?


    • 20
      The last days of Labour says:

      Er…this blog isn’t supposed to be impartial. He’s never made any claim to be impartial. Are you new here? Or is it a slow day at Labour HQ?


    • 33
      Stan Butler says:

      Pigs on the Wing (Part One) (Waters) 1:24

      If you didn’t care what happened to me,
      And I didn’t care for you,
      We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain
      Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
      Wondering which of the buggars to blame
      And watching for pigs on the wing.


    • 121
      Article 38 says:

      I’m sure he would have reported this if another children’s character had pulled out. It’s nothing personal against Peppa


  4. 6
    Peter Grimes says:

    So it’s two fat troughing porkers to meet Peppa Pig, is it?



  5. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Or, terrified that he/she might be out snorted ;)


  6. 8
    Bub says:

    On facebook, I errantly mentioned the error of PR and the Libdems… Talk about a Cleggy ambush party. Damn Yougov is completely overrun with the little buggers!


    • 35
      pension robber brown says:

      listening to a conversation in the pub last night heard this cracker.
      well a least the public sector is making a profit to keep the economy afloat .ffs


      • 56
        Anonymous says:

        Are you sure you weren’t in The Labour Club.


        • 122
          Bub says:

          Nope, I was not – they were all the Libdem lot going on about PR and other stuff, Labour peeps can’t fake that!


      • 129
        Bub says:

        Holy cow – just realised I was commenting on something else. Trust me – as a council worker, we are not making anything – cuts are happening already – jobs are going because there are too many jobs that were never needed.

        Council’s do not understand efficiency, they over buy and have contracts that are totally in favour of the supplier to the detriment of the tax payer. And for heavens sake don’t mention it or you get bullied!


        • 150
          Cheese Lover says:

          Reminds me when we got my mother a stairlift. Stairlift man came round, surveyed and then pronounced that because of the age of the house wiring, there would have to be a new ‘spur’ and earthing system. I have an engineering degree and was able to point out that the device operated off a 24volt battery with a charger that could be plugged into any 13amp socket for which the current earthing was 100%. He had to go off and get special permission to arrange fitting in that way. Most of their business is with councils of course, who no doubt would have paid the totally unnecessary rewiring costs without question. And the £500 per year maintenance costs for ever…


          • Unsworth says:

            That’s not the only rip-off by any means. All Councils are being taken to the cleaners in a big way. Outsourcing (whatever the hell that might really mean) has led to monster costs. And that’s entirely because those responsible for ‘managing’ contracts are either in the game or grossly incompetent – of course some ‘managers’ display both attributes.


    • 114
      Moley says:

      The Cleggy ambush party is obviously pretty effective when it comes to voting on the leader’s debates too.


      • 123
        Bub says:

        Yes! I find the entire thing so depressing – just listening to the trougher on 5 Live, his latest excuse for claiming gardening expenses… it was unfair on the neighbours..apparently it was a mess. I ask you!


      • 235
        Mr Ned says:

        yeah, well at least most of the braindead liberals on facebook will not bother voting.

        The support is sooooo soft for the liberals that many of the recent converts will be sat at home or at work on polling day gleefully waiting for everyone else to vote for them.


  7. 9
    One Government for the Locals and another for the immigrants says:

    Harriet Harman and David Miliband today joined leading Labour BAME candidates, including Keith Vaz, Chuka Umunna, Diane Abbott and Dawn Butler, to launch Labour’s Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) manifesto.



    • 12
      jgm2 says:

      A separate manifesto for ‘BAME’?

      Is that one full of lies too? Of course it is.


      • 24
        Ban the Burka says:

        Muslims didn’t want to be part of BAME. They’re launching their own manifesto. It’ll be called KABOOM.


        • 31
          Muslim Mumsnet says:

          They blow-up so quick these days


          • Ban the Burka says:

            Two Muslim boys are walking home after their first day at secondary school. One says to the other: “So what do you want to be when you blow up?”


          • Muslim woman with a rucksack – “Does my bomb look big in this?”


          • Ban the Burka says:

            Man goes into a sex shop. He asks for a blow-up doll. The shop assistant asks “Male or female doll?” The man says female. The assistant asks “Young or old doll?” The man says young. The assistant asks “Christian or Muslim doll?” The man asks “What difference does it make?” and the assistant says “Well, the Muslim one blows herself up.”


          • 7/7 bomber gets to Heaven.

            St Peter asks him “How did you get here?”

            The bomber answers “Well, I was living in Leeds, and it was full of P*kis, so I thought I might as well kill myself.”


          • Prescott's matted pubes says:



      • 120
        Moley says:

        Black, anti-racist, minorities and Youth is the proper name.

        BARMY by name, BARMY by nature.


      • 151
        Racism is OK for some says:

        So, would a manifesto full of white candidates would be acceptable to Labour?


        • 171
          Jo Lardbutt Brand says:

          Only white people can be racist.

          And if you lot make any more comments like that, I’ll inform the authorities.

          I’m good at informing you know.


    • 21
      Is nothing straight says:

      You know, Harman is either attending Gay, Lesbian or immigrant evnts. Does she ever acknowledge the existence of normal people? – I thought not.


      • 109
        Mzzzz. HaHaHaHa-HoHoHo-Person, wearing crotchless knickers says:

        I’m ready for anything!

        And I’m going to Lead The Party into the Future (FuckedUpForAll).

        And weirdo’s represent 5% of the population donchakno!

        It’s a disease, they say.

        So I feel I’m the Noo People’s Princess, – down there with the sick!


      • 136
        Peter Grimes says:

        Harlot Harridan is so fucking stupid she wouldn’t recognise a real person.

        The next Tory tv broadcast should include some of her ravings from the Stephen Nolan programme last Saturday. She is completely useless!


      • 234
        Prescott's matted pubes says:

        “Equality for the normal”….no, no…that will never do.


    • 39
      City of Vice says:

      From the line up I see that Labour actively promotes equal opportunities in thieves and incompetents.

      What a fucking shower!


    • 48
      MI5 says:

      Nice to see Zanu Labour going back to their tribal roots…

      A broken society in a tribalised Britain…


    • 95
      All for one, and one for? says:

      If we are all meant to be equal according to the numerous equal opportunity/diversity programs we have to attend, how come there is a seperate manefesto??


      • 170
        Equal Diversity says:

        Vive la différence.


      • 236
        Mr Ned says:

        This BAME bullshit is all about divide and conquer tactics. Labour are the most blatantly racist, sexist, heterophobic party in this election, but they have their little “protected” groups who you are not allowed to have any prejudices against, and they have other target groups for which all forms of aggressive prejudice and discrimination appear to be wholly acceptable.


    • 189
      • 210
        go yellower gaga! says:

        Ms Harman said: “We have the best record of any UK political party in terms of women’s representation with three times more women MPs than all the other parties put together.

        “At the close of nominations Labour has more women candidates than ever before.

        “Increasing the number of Labour women MPs not only changes the face of Parliament, it changes the political agenda.”

        Turned it into a troughery!


  8. 10
    Popeye says:

    Peppa pig?
    I thought you said Prezzapig, so my expectations were dashed!


  9. 13
    Fidel X Penses says:

    It’s now being reported on the BBC, so it must be true!

    I am the only one to see the irony in a party that says it wants to concentrate on substance appearing with Elvis and a Pig? Or it may be that Gordon really believes that these are his closest policy advisers – along with the ghost of his father and the Tooth Fairy.


  10. 14
    Sir William Waad says:

    Peppa, what do you want to be when you grow up? Is it to be banking or politics?


  11. 17
    Anonymous says:

    The real scum-sucking pigs meet the fictional one (or would have done)


  12. 18

    How very apt, don’t forget;

    Labour are the party of hate
    Labour are the party of lies
    Labour are the party of hypocrisy
    Labour are the party of intolerance

    Labour are filth

    Labour are dead.


  13. 19

    Does this mean Labour want to lower the voting age
    to include children who would vote for anyone who gives them telly tubbies, father christmas sweeties etc
    fuck me they are desperate !


  14. 22
    Anonymous says:

    One evening in October,
    When I was about one third sober,
    I was taking home a load with manly pride;
    My poor feet began to stutter,
    So I lay down in the gutter,
    And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

    Then we sang a song fair weller,
    And good fellas ger together,
    Till a lady passing by was heard to say,
    She says, “You can tell a man who boozes
    By the company he chooses”,
    And the pig got up and slowly walked away.


    • 55
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      the horse and cow live thirty years
      and nothing know of wine or beers
      the goat and sheep at twenty die
      never tasting scotch or rye
      the sow drinks water by the ton
      and at eighteen is almost done
      the dog at fifteen cashes in
      without the aid of rum or gin
      the cat in milk and water soaks
      and then at twelve short years it croaks
      the modest sober home dry hen
      lays eggs for years and dies at ten
      all animals are strictly dry
      they simply live and simply die
      but sinful ginful rum-soaked men
      survive for three score years and ten
      and some of them the mighty few
      stay pickled till they’re ninty two !


  15. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Peppa Pig has left the building? Well, Cameron isn’t even going to get in it.


  16. 25
    Harriet Harperson says:

    Peppa Pig, Tessa, and Yvette

    No Balls


  17. 26
    Pepos says says:

    I did nit want yvette or tessa upstaging me


  18. 28
    Peppa Pig's Spokesman says:

    Peppa Pig has withdrawn from this event for fear of being eaten by John Prescott.


    • 36
      Anthony charles lynton blair bow street 1983 says:

      If Yvette Cooper had a 12″ knob on her forehead how much could she see?.Nothing as the Balls would be in her eyes.


  19. 29
    Stan Butler says:

    Is this what politics is all about in the UK nowadays, a fucking pig, Elvis and an X Factor type TV event? Is this what will decide who will govern us through tougher times that the 80’s? I weep, I really fucking weep.


  20. 32

    The pig is only there so the Big Gurning Ape doesn’t frighten the children
    with politicians and children in the same room
    make sure you keep a head count at all times
    no unsupervised trips to the toilet !


  21. 37
    Brown loves a bit of bully says:

    If any of you missed last night’s Newsnight, go and watch it on iPlayer. You’re in for a double treat. Blinky Balls evading every question put to him by Paxo, and then a truly hilarious interview with the economic adviser to Plaid Cymru who was obviously in the mood for a fight.


  22. 43
    Sod the liblabcon says:

    Still stuck on hung parliament outcome tories, no idea how to get a 10% lead.
    Peppa pig eh, well you have tried every thing else.


  23. 45
    anonymous says:

    funny this

    one pig refusing to have anything to do with a load of other pigs

    well done peppa I say


  24. 46
    gordon brown says:

    i wish the press would concentrate on policies rather than gimmicks…. oh….


    • 64
      Sod the liblabcon says:

      Dave could try getting Miss Piggy to endorse him, who knows, it might get him the over 10% lead.


  25. 49
    Right Bastard says:

    Peppa Pig dressed up as Elvis singing “Pork Salad Annie”?


  26. 50
    Johnathan King says:

    They approached me but i had to say no as it would be bad for my image.


  27. 52
    Daft As A Brush says:

    I have it on good authority that Michael Jackson, Hitler Stalin & Mao Tse Tung will be in Morley tomorrow to endorse Balls


  28. 53
    Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

    Its a sad day for Labour when they cant even convince a fictional character to support them.

    Im just an idiot with a keyboard and even I can convice a dead non-person to make a statement., see:

    Brig Gen Sir Harry Flashman VC has been quoted (by me) as saying

    ‘Brown, damn his infernal eyes! If I had my way he would be blown from a cannon outside Parliament’

    See, its easy.


  29. 54
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Paul Gadd joins Gordon Brown in supporting Labour:

    The celebrity endorsements continued today when legendary rocker Paul Gadd joined Elvis and Pippa Pig to urge people to vote for them next week because “its the right thing to do”. He added “we have all made mistakes in our past, but that’s where they are – in the past. Gordon Brown is the ultimate leader of the gang and I’m confident he will will fix the British economy so cruelly broken by the Americans. In fact in a new administration Ed Balls will be moving up to chancellor so I’m in the frame for his old job”.



  30. 58
    Tears for Piers says:

    Just get Morley. He looks like a pig and troughs like one.


  31. 59
    Ed says:

    Peppa Pig doesn’t want to be associated wth losers.


  32. 61
    Unclean says:

    I take it there are no Muslim children at the center the Pig was supposed to be visiting.


  33. 63
    Pip says:

    Vote Labour or Peppa Pig is pork


  34. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s Georgie Porgie these days? I miss him.


  35. 68
    The last days of Labour says:

    Cameron has an open goal for Thursday’s debate. “Last week, Gordon said if you want substance, he’s your man. It’s not the Conservatives who’ve got an Elvis impersonator on the campaign. And it’s not the Conservatives who invited a fictional children’s TV character to appear at an event. And the character declined the invitation too.”


    • 90
      purpleline says:

      His open goal has to be Northern Rock first bank run in a century, all because of lack of regulation Brown.

      Also he needs to highlight the China effect, where money markets were awash with funds and these banks lent long and borrowed short. This is why Northern Rock and B&B got into trouble.

      It was not a world recession it was a credit crunch and ripple effect of Lehman being allowed to fail. Without first ensuring the capitalist system refreshed itself.

      He shd also highlight the way the government has engineered the money markets to assist the banks the Labour party like to use politically to re-build their balance sheets


      • 240
        Mr Ned says:

        Cameron should also remind people about Black Wednesday.

        And the fact that Gordon selling gold at the bottom of the market has cost the UK the equivalent of TWO Black Wednesdays.

        AND the fact that the current record deficit is the Equivalent of a Black Wednesday sized bill for the tax-payer EVERY SINGLE WEEK!!!

        Brown is the ‘Black Wednesday’ every week Prime minister.


      • 241
        Kiss My Big Hairy Swingers says:

        Agreed the Northern Rock is a big open goal, but so is flogging off our gold on the cheap and robbing peoples pension funds. Lest we forget!


  36. 69
    Poo says:

    Gordon Brown Man of substance? Elvis Impersonators? Pretend Pigs?

    I take it the substance Gordon refers to is S**T


  37. 70
    a dress size too small says:

    This little piggy went to market,
    This little piggy stayed at home
    This little piggy ate roast beef
    This little piggy had none!
    And this little piggy said “Look at the size of those knees!”


  38. 72
    Catflap says:

    Gordon likes to stand in muddy puddles..the dirty fecker.


  39. 73
    Sod the liblabcon says:

    Today the Guido Cameroids are debating pigs and how to turn the subject to their electoral advantage.


  40. 74
    Peppa Pig says:

    Don’t take me near that Gordon Brown. He’s really frightening.


  41. 75
    KiddyFidlars R Us (aka Bollocks 'n Brhoon) says:

    Wow – what a day we gonna have!!

    All those credulous faces – better than the sheeple!

    And we get to eat soft food.


  42. 76
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    As always when Labour is trailing in the poll’s
    they invite another pig on board !

    Make of that what you will


  43. 77
    purpleline says:

    I find it amazing that any politician would want to associate themselves with a PIG. own goal politics first Elvis and now pigs, The labour party really are Pigs in Space they are outta their minds..

    Saint Nick Clegg the buffoon is on Radio 5 a complete dunderhead


  44. 84
    Walt Dismal says:

    Mickey Mouse says he’s still available.


    • 93

      This is a wondferful tale! (tail?)

      My take on this? (EDITOR: Apparently Labour ARE ‘thinking of the children’ and want to use them to influence how their parents vote. Pathetic, desperate stuff. Exactly how do the Muslims view a talking pig, by the way?)

      Also, Peppa has enough with dinosaurs with her little brother, George, without having to deal with the Labour Party dinosaurs.


  45. 87
    cynic says:

    I though we had made child exploitation illegal in the UK?


  46. 89
    Gordon Brown says:

    The pig started in America.


  47. 92
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Surely this was a pisstake? Or a remake of Three Little Pigs.


    • 98

      We live near some lovely social housing. My wife heard the other week a mother calling her child: “Come on, Peppa! Time for your dinner!” Nice!


      • 112
        The last days of Labour says:

        That’s nothing. The other day I saw a chav mum with her three kids and her chav mate. Her four year old daughter was being noisy and kicked out. Her mum said “Oi, you bitch!” Lovely thing to call your own daughter.


        • 191
          Gordon Brown says:

          My core vote have some communication and linguistic issues. We need five more years to ensure, with the help of Nick and Vincent, that our core policy of mentoring troubled and disfunctional families, is implemented and we can work upon the improvements within society, we have made to date.


  48. 94

    So, Gordon’s relaunch to concentrate on policy has been aided by a dead, lard-arse, pill-popping po’ whaat traash sideburn-wearing, over-rated popster, and a pink pig. And the pig has shat on him.

    This isn’t going well, is it Gordon?

    I’m telling yers… we’re on course for a bit of an upset. I feel in my bodily fluids, those untainted by Labour’s malign socialism, that Call Me Dave is going to pull it off. My bile says an overall majority. Small but adequate. Twenty or thirty seats.

    Labour’s vote is like a well used paper hanky – here and there are crusty permanent clumps (the tribal vermin who vote Labour because their grannies did), the foul coloured smears (labour’s paid stooges of the public sector, the dull-witted teachers and other useful idiots), and the stiff spots of unexpectedly ejected jism (the easily swayed fools who think Sarah seems so nice so maybe Gord ain’t so bad)… but between these nuggest of support lies an unravelling mess of tenuous strands, vast distended ruptures, and plain old gashes… Labour’s support is beyond fragile… Even Labour’s most ardent supporters despise their leaders – how bizarre is that? Labour’s vote is almost wholly composed of people that anyone decent would consider vermin, AND a paid cohort who probably secretly think they’re vermin themselves.

    Lord, save us from this black horror of socialism, smite down the socialists of all parties, and return us to the sunlit higher ground of vicious, clean, wholesome, honest, dog-eat-dog capitalism.

    Boskone out.


  49. 97

    I don’t think E1 wanted to Peppa to turn up, so as not to embarrass the Labour party, as she has more believable policies then they do


  50. 100
    John Prescott says:

    That reminds me. Waiter! Another roast hog for me and the missus! You know what they say. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!


  51. 103
    jgm2 says:

    Is it an autobiography? If that’s a genuine quote then it suggests she may have saved the money on getting it ghost written and wrote the shite herself.

    As you say – these fucking publishers must be off their heads advancing any cash to any of these politicians (or their wives) or these celebrities. What was it Blair got? A million? Two million? [Goes to check] Fuck me – 4.5 million quid. When we all know he will simply put into his own words what a fucking terrifically great chap he is/was and how he’s shocked, yes shocked, that the intelligence that lead to the Iraq war turned out to be faulty. Nobody more surprised than me. Honestly. You can trust me. But it was still the right thing to do.

    Even if he told the truth it wouldn’t be worth that kind of money.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of these book deals are just money laundering. None of them ever seem to cover the cost of the advance. Anybody who wants to read it will probably get it serialised in the paper gratis in any case. Any ‘shocking’ revelations will be discussed in the papers or on TV.

    These advances are no more than third party kick-backs as far as I can tell. The publishers are just middlemen.

    4.5 million quid?

    For what?

    ‘Why Tony Blair is Fucking Great’ by Tony Blair.


    • 130

      Interesting theory – published by Hutchinson (an imprint of Random House, owned by News International, which is owned by Murdoch), and already discounted on Amazon to £18.99 from £25.

      The lax regulation of sports broadcasting rights under New Labour will have paid for that advance many times over, not counting the light touch of the tax regime that makes News International the champion tax avoider of the decade.


  52. 107
    Smokey Bacon says:

    The pig pulled out. Yvette’s not used to that. A case of pork scratchings.


  53. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Is it not time to ban the political use of children?

    Babies, or children, with their parents is fair game, as their responsible adult makes a choice. But since Bush hid in a school in Florida on that fateful day and the news reader in CA laughed about the sudden trip the night BEFORE, it has been seen that running away to hide behind children is wrong.

    Why should children be used? Time to put a stop to this.

    Peppa pig rules. Shows a cartoon can have more sense than the PM.


  54. 111
    Nick2 says:

    Presumably Labour thought that the pig would be a draw for the local families, who would in turn make good wallpaper for Labour ministers.

    The resultant ‘political item’ would get good publicity on TV/online because of the pig.


  55. 116
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Yvette cooper Ball’s
    Now children as the little pepper pig has not turned up
    we will all now watch 2 hours of my lovely husbands website for kids
    launched this year at great expense to the tax payer
    with no thought given to whether someone else had already been using the name
    i give you “Busters World ”



    • 127
      Catflap says:

      HOLY SHIT!!


      • 152
        Nothing surprises me anymore says:

        Blimmin ‘eck. Are you sure that Brown, Blair and Mandy didn’t have a hand in naming that kids web site.

        Pervs apparently groom kids by “accidentally” arranging them look at or do something sexual.

        NuLab perv pieces of waste. Even pigs hate them.


        • 156
          MAD FRANKIE Catflap Nothing Surprises me anymore says:

          I agree with everything I just said


          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

            Whats up TAT jelous that someone posted something interesting ?
            and people actually reply to it
            unlike yourself who is mostly ignored and never has anything credible to say
            you should start your own website
            ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
            FFS you fuckin kill me !


          • MAD FRANKIE Catflap Nothing Surprises me anymore says:

            I agree with everything I say about a story Guido highlighted months ago


          • Catflap says:

            That’s not Tat, me and him are breddrin when it comes to non partisan politics.


        • 159
          Catflap says:

          That was a close call I almost clicked the accept button by mistake.
          I don’t like the look of my own bollocks let alone some other dudes.


        • 164
          Nothing surprises me anymore says:

          What a surprise, the Guardian’s media arm was reponsible.

          The excellent Register has the story here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/09/busters_world_guardian_professional/

          It’s either:
          accidental FUBAR by lazy, incompetent lefties
          deliberate FUBAR by the same type of cynical, spiteful sh*ts that gave us mass immigration to “rub our noses in it”


          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

            AGGGGH Mummy !
            Whats that man doing to those nice baloons ?


          • Actually I think this is the line that explains everything:

            Guardian Professional, which is the commercial wing of Guardian News & Media, will see its contract with the DCSF go up for renewal in March this year.

            Well aware that no other competitor would want to tender for what will undoubtedly be a very short contract, but not wanting to be left holding the poisoned chalice themselves after the election, the lads at Guardian Professional have just made sure they would not be asked to retender for the contract in March.


    • 257
      Gobshite says:

      The standard of childrens’ entertainer has really gone down hill.


  56. 118
    Labour the lie, deny then smear party says:

    Bang goes the Muslim and Jewish vote


  57. 137
    MAD FRANKIE Catflap says:

    DID I just write that SHIT !!??? I am a TWAT


    • 169
      Catflap says:

      Your right. Straight guys and lesbians should not be afraid of a throbbing cock being shoved in em.


  58. 139
    Sod the liblabcon says:

    Well now that this order order site thingy has been neutralised as a place that might influence the floating voter, with 10 days to go, guido has run out of ideas on how to increase support for the camariods, what to do.
    Perhaps a debate as to where the tory faithful might emigrate to, or how to move their loot to somewhere safe.
    Whatever, if you stay here in the UK you will be paying the most .


  59. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Ed Balls is spluttering away now about how Tories and probably libdems too would definitely eat your children – why do Labour get to dominate the morning news schedules with these government-like press conferences presided over by mandelson ? where are the other 2 parties?
    On both sky and bbc news yesterday the coverage only seemed to be of Brown wandering round with nursey.


    • 173
      Rip Van Winkle says:

      Because the mass media IS the problem. It is captured. Until you realise that the WHOLE of public life is now dominated by ‘progressives’ (read communists/corporatists), you are told nothing else.

      The people of the UK get what they deserve – bollocks every day of their lives.


  60. 143
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    The baby eating Tories had the Pig as a starter.


  61. 145

    Peppa goes to the polling booth.

    Daddy Pig – Prescott
    Mummy Pig – Winterton
    Peppa Pig – Moran
    Grandpa Pig – Chaytor
    George Pig – Tony Blair

    Dinosaur – Tony Benn


  62. 147
    I hate New Labour says:

    All this proves that Peppa Pig has more sense than 30% of the electorate.


  63. 155
    davemcwish says:

    This is symptomatic of the Liebour campaign – lots of hamming …


  64. 162
    Adios El Gordo says:

    Apparently Noddy is opening a new taxi rank later today and Plod is visiting a police station all with labour ministers..

    Tinky Winky, Po, La la and Mandleson are off to visit a school and Gordon and Sarah are taking a supermarket trip with big cook little cook.


  65. 167
    8 days to go. Full speed ahead Mr Pickles says:

    YouGov/Sun CON 33%(-1), LAB 28%(nc), LDEM 29%(-1)
    Opinium/Express CON 34%(+2), LAB 25%(-1), LDEM 28%(-1)
    ICM/Guardian CON 33%(-2), LAB 28%(+2), LDEM 30%(-1)
    ComRes/ITV/Independent CON 32%(-2), LAB 28%(nc), LDEM 31%(+2)

    Opinium show a slight movement towards the Conservatives since their last poll, but without any political weighting I would expect them to be rather more erratic anyway. The other three polls all show the Conservatives falling. Again it is just one day’s polls, and the movements are within the margin of error, but it does create the impression that the slight Tory recovery towards the end of last week is fading.



    • 187
      I hate New Labour says:

      Labour 25%!

      That’s good news, but still depressing that 1 in 4 are either claiming benefits or in government non-jobs.


      • 196
        We've pissed away a 28 point lead! says:

        That’s good news!


        • 212
          I hate New Labour says:

          You’ll have to do better than that, little troll, to get a rise out of anyone here…


      • 199
        jgm2 says:

        Yep. 25%. How utterly fucking depressing.

        The economy utterly destroyed by the Maximum Imbecile’s jackass legions and still 25% of the voters just cannot see it. Or, worse, are so misanthropic that they revel in destroying the economy.

        A future fucked for all.


        • 232
          Colonel Nut says:

          They’ve also created social unrest and division and the gradual Balkanisation of the country with their vote grubbing mass immigration policy.
          A future fair for Allah.


  66. 179
  67. 182
    Sir William Waad says:

    As others have said, OINK!

    Or, if you’re a LibeDem supporter: OINQUE!


  68. 190
    Reimer says:

    Possible Labour coalition with Pingu?


  69. 197
    Hamid Karzai says:

    I got 49% AFTER the UN threw out a quarter of the votes.

    Now your governing party could get only half of that and stay in power due to the support of a party which gets about the same.

    And your troops are fighting to help ME create a democracy!


  70. 200
    Gordon Sachs says:

    What’s the problem Tessa Pig and Yvette Pig were there.


  71. 204
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    She gave the boy up for adoption when he was aged 4
    Just when the man who cleaned the bogs on a cross channel ferry turned up and told her to
    The fucking heartless slag


    • 213
      jgm2 says:

      It would have been even more heartless to bring the child up in the bile-fuelled, class-war-ridden, hate-fest that characterises John Prescott.

      Anyway, no doubt it’s the Tories fault she had to give her kid up for adoption.


      • 214
        jgm2 says:

        Fucking classic though given the revelations that John Prescott’s ancestors were shagging their own daughters.

        Look love – I’m doing you a favour. You’re damaged goods. Nobody will ‘ave ya. You’ll just have to put up with any old shit I come out with.

        Vote Labour.

        Fucking horrible people.


  72. 206
    Sir William Waad says:

    Careful now, boys and girls. We are not dealing with a cut little animated pig. We are dealing with copyrighted material:

    The attorney or correspondent listed for PEPPA PIG is Vanessa Hwang Lui of FROSS ZELNICK LEHRMAN & ZISSU, P.C., 866 UNITED NATIONS PLZ, NEW YORK NY 10017-1822 . The PEPPA PIG trademark is filed in the category of Computer & Software Products & Electrical & Scientific Products , Paper Goods and Printed Material , Clothing Products , Toys and Sporting Goods Products , Education and Entertainment Services . The description provided to the USPTO for PEPPA PIG is Computer game software and programs; pre-recorded video cassettes, DVDs, multi-media software, CD-ROMS, compact discs, and audio cassettes, all featuring pre-school aged children’s educational and entertainment matter, games, music, images, and animated cartoons; sunglasses; spectacle frames; audiocassette players.


  73. 208
    The beast of west london says:

    Gordon Brown has a post election job lined up in America
    It involves working with young people, he is to become chairman of NAMBLA
    Mandelson will help out when Gordon is busy


  74. 211
    Gordon out of the closet says:

    After May 6th you can contact me via this address



  75. 216
  76. 217
    Biddy Baxter says:

    Charlie and Lola would like it known that they’d rather eat their own shit than endorse G Broon.


    • 218
      Peter Purves says:

      Paul and Barry Chuckle would rather be locked up in an Iranian sauna with Peter Sutcliffe than do anything to help that cocksucker G Brown.


    • 258
      Peter Carter-Fuck says:

      Whereas if you give Richard Bacon enough charlie he’ll say anything you want him to.


  77. 219

    Two weeks ago everyone was telling us this was the Mumsnet election and how winning the Yummy Mummy vote was the key to victory.

    Has this changed or is Labour deliberately trying to throw this election by pissing the Bodenista classes off?


  78. 220
    Anonymous says:

    This is bad news, just think of how many muslim votes they would have lost if Peppa had turned up!


  79. 221
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Brillo feeds a flippin chipmunk cookies:


  80. 224
    Trev says:

    LibDem tax cut £17 billion – where is the money coming from? They promise it because they will never have to i9mpliment it. And as paxman pointed out only 1.5 billion for the poorest.

    this is liberal?? This is democratic? This is bollocks. And its not why they are up in the polls – its because they claim to be squeaky clean and Clegg is photogenic in the debates and looks nice to all the wives and mothers.

    We have a total dumbing down of politics.


  81. 225
    Doc Trough says:

    Ms Pig apologises for the clash of dates. She had unfortunately left her diary/innoculation record in Luton and had not realised that she had a previous appointment with a dry rot counsellor in Southampton. Speck she’ll call in after the election. She has sent a stuffed miniature so the children can Kotelett.


  82. 242
    anonymous says:

    this little piggy went to market
    this little piggy stayed home
    this little piggy had roast beef
    this little piggy had none
    and this little piggy told labour to fuck off ‘cos they ain’t going to any new labour pantomime


  83. 244
  84. 246
    Anne Riddle says:

    Peppa Pig good participe nt on Daily Politics! Susan Kramar also on. Nuff said.


  85. 247
    Stu says:

    You couldn’t make the lies and rubbish up that come out of Mrs Bollocks mouth could you.


  86. 260
    Jimmy says:

    I don’t understand. Why the picture of Joanne Cash?


  87. 261
    Browns Broadcasting Company says:

    Get your facts right. Peppa Pig cancelled because she had mislaid her Elvis suit, no other reason.


  88. 263

    […] There was only one story that the Fawkes household cared about yesterday. Peppa Pig’s boycott of Yvette Cooper’s photo-op.  Can you blame Peppa? Yvette was in that auto-pilot soundbite mode thing she does droning […]


  89. 264
    Good on yer Duffy says:

    The mental moron now goes to visit Gillian Duffy at her own home!!! He’s making it all look even worse!!! He’s mad, mad, mad!! It’s so funny it’s bringing tears to my eyes. Gordon, you loser! Mwaahaaahaaaahaaa……!


    • 266
      Anonymous says:

      But can Wavy Davy (now known as Lounge Suit Dave) take any advantage? Noooooo. The public have seen through all this patronising twaddle. Avram Grant for PM – he can actually make something out of very little – which is all we’ve got now that the Unions and the Bankers have carved the country up between them.


  90. 265
    Good on yer Duffy says:

    I see the curtains are drawn at Duffy’s house – well we all know who’s just died (and on his arse too!!). Mwaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaa!!


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