April 23rd, 2010

Are You a Tory Chihuahua?

Nigel Farage is up against John Bercow, the Speaker of the House of Commons, in Buckingham. He is appealing for funds to support his campaign online and he is also running fundraising advertising in the arch-Tory magazine the Spectator.

Buckingham is of course a rock solid Tory seat held by an expense fiddling, mortgage flipping member of parliament.

So why is Farage running there?

Because there are a lot of chihuahuas in British politics – and they  have votes and they are angry.  ChIHUAHuas are Conservatives In their Heads, Ukip At Heart.  Some are hardcore irreconcilable Eurosceptics, some are disappointed with the melting away of the cast iron guarantee and many more are just mainstream conservatives who vote Tory because in their heads they know it is the only realistic choice they have, even though they are UKIP sympathisers at heart. Chihuahuas are off that loyalty leash in Buckingham, which because Bercow is the speaker hasn’t even got a nominally Conservative Party candidate. Bercow is universally loathed by grassroots conservatives as well as more establishment Tories up to and including David Cameron.

Whatever they say publicly there will be cheering in CCHQ if Bercow loses. Many will see it as a conservative gain, Farage’s politics are their politics after a few gin and tonics; cut taxes, stuff the EU, cut spending and show a bit of pride in being British.  Chihauhuas may be small, but they can’t half nip…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Norton Folgate says:

    Go Nige!

  3. 3
    gone fuckin mental says:

    bercow is a fucking mong , and a very small one as well

  4. 4
    Sir William Waad says:

    Actually Bercow looks more like a chihuahua, or ‘purse rat’ as the Yanks call them.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Chihauhuas also smell when they get wet.

  6. 6

    Are UKIP the only hope for Cameron if there is a hung parliament? He’s going to need their support if they get a few seats. – http://whogoeshome.co.uk/?p=1003

  7. 7
    jdennis_99 says:

    I hope he wins. It’ll be funny.

    I hope Old Holborn wins in Cambridge too. That’d be even funnier.

  8. 8

    Nigel’s nose looks dry

  9. 9
    streamfisher says:

    The one on the right looks gorgeous.

  10. 10
    Backwoodsman says:

    “Mr Quango to the Whips office”

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Best way to show some pride in being British is to bugger off to Ireland and then spend all your time complaining about how things are back in the UK.

    Oh, wait…

  12. 12
    no longer anonymous says:

    Farage is a clown but I’d rather he win than Bercow.

  13. 13
    no longer anonymous says:

    Old Holborn will remove his mask to reveal that he is in fact one James Gordon Brown.

  14. 14
    Hmm says:

    one on the left looks even better :-)

  15. 15
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I’ve been searching the internet with Peter and we’ve found a few pictures of little boys at bathtime.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Longbow says:

    The unmentionables have a cracking manifesto, just the ticket for tories if they didnt have Cameriod leading them to nowhere

  18. 18

    Good luck to Nigel.

  19. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    So do I.

  20. 20
    Cockney Geezer says:

    Whiny ex-pats are even more irritating than manic-depressive scotch first ministers.

  21. 21
    Cardinal Sin of the Vatican says:

    Wang ‘em over here would you Gord!

  22. 22
    David Cameron says:

    Regarding policy on nuclear weapons, Iraq and Afghanistan, attacking Iran, nuclear power stations, green taxes, allowing the bankers to continue to welch on their debts and cutting front-line services: I agree with Gordon Brown.

  23. 23
    Purse Rat says:


  24. 24
    Usnooze says:

    UKIP have looked spectacularly shit so far in the campaign, a dad’s army of bargain basement Basil Fawltys.

    Getting Bercow, however much he may deserve it, is irrelevent.

  25. 25
    stepney says:

    Given the Facebook generation’s love affair with a smiley shiny politician they know nothing about, I’d say I’m more of a GREAT DANE

    Getting Really Expletive Angry That Dumbshit Arseholes kNow Eff-all

  26. 26

    Who’s he then?

  27. 27
    George Bush Jnr says:

    Old Holborn winning is about as likely as a blackman in the Whitehouse.

  28. 28
    Jonah McDoom says:

    I’m a Mentalist! Mad Eccentric Nutty Twatty Arsehole Limpwristed Idiotic Shitty Tosser.

  29. 29
    George Bush Jnr says:

    Can I just say it started in Britain!

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    Shut it you slaag!

  31. 31
    David Cameron says:

    I agree with Gordon Brown and George Bush.

  32. 32
    Lincolnshire Squire says:

    Much prefer foxhounds myself but …. oh, to dump that oleaginous dwarf out on his arse together with that Quisling slapper bitch would be worth a price above rubies. Almost as good as: Calvert 1st, Balls 2nd.

  33. 33
    I've shagged Darling's eyebrows says:

    I actually stuck in a tenner. Still surprised at myself but kind of happy.

  34. 34
    Dr King Jr says:

    I have a dream…

  35. 35
    IanH says:

    Only problem with ousting Bercow of course is we still end up paying his very generous Speaker’s pension which he gets after serving one minute in post. Better to make him work for it

  36. 36
    Em says:

    Fuck UKIP. Fuck Farage.

    Honestly if you are that fucking stupid that your number one electoral issue is the EU, then you deserve to wake up with a Lib or Lab govt on 7th May.

    Farage has shown at EU level that he is as good a trougher as anyone else.

    UKIPs two policies are as misguided and vacuous as they sound. Withdraw from EU, only an idiot would do. More pride in being British, yawn.

    I’m with Dave.

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    And dry powder Dave has…?

  38. 38
    David Cameron says:

    I agree with Gordon Brown.

  39. 39
    Longbow says:

    Have you got the paddle?

  40. 40
    Eileen Critchley says:

  41. 41
    Nick Clegg says:

    I suppose if we were to alighn ourselves with a particular dog it would have to be Rhubarb!

  42. 42
    David Cameron says:

    I will end up having to agree with Nick Clegg.

  43. 43
    zorro says:

    I would have preferred to see Farage (he could have put on a Cameron mask) debating with Brown and Clegg as he would have wiped the floor with them….unlike Wavy Davy who has produced 10% of sweet fuck all so far in the two debates. A privileged light weight who has never had to struggle/fight for anything in his life other than trying to raise his head out of a toilet in Eton having been beasted by a prefect

  44. 44
    William Hague says:

    Maybe Dave is keeping all his powder dry so he can sell it after the election?

  45. 45
    Lord Mandelson of Boys says:

    I’m sniffing around for a French Poodle myself

  46. 46
    zorro says:

    Bored with being British…why not revoke your nationality and consider a career move to the moon

  47. 47
    Ma Koaten says:

    I’ve spent all morning in a field with a German Shepherd.

  48. 48
    rick says:

    Saw the launch on AlBeeb. I couldn’t find a thing to disagree with.

  49. 49
    I hate New Labour says:

    C’mon Nigel, boot that little twerp out!

  50. 50
    AC1 says:

    Withdraw form the EU and get a 100% vote.

    Or stay in the EUSSR (which gains Britain NOTHING and costs billions) and get a 20% Vote (80% laws made in the EUSSR).

    Idiots vote LibLabCon.

  51. 51
    50 Calibre says:

    Should I go and get a dog licence?

  52. 52
    AC1 says:

    Have they dropped all the Marxist stuff?

  53. 53
    Wing Commander says:

    Off subject but am I the only one who still has friends stranded aboard, one lot are stuck in Bangkok and the British Embassy could give a toss. Their flight is next Thursday! should have been back last Saturday.

  54. 54
    Economic correspondent says:

    If the previous quarter showed growth of 0.4% and the latest quarter result shows growth of 0.2%, is that not a downturn in the economy? If so why is it being reported as ‘growth showing continuing recovery’?

  55. 55
    Dave Just Hasn't Got What It Takes says:

    Dave just hasn’t got what it takes.
    It is not his fault that he has no fire in his belly, it is of course his parents’ fault that he has no fire or guts. The reason he has none is because his belly has always been full. He has never had to fight for anything in his life as it has always been handed to him on a silver platter.
    If David Cameron hasn’t got the guts and heart to win a few debates then he is obviously not the man to fight for the interests of the country.
    David Cameron has become soft with privilege. He has an undeserved sense of entitlement that somehow he should inherit the job of PM, as if it should be given to him like everything else has been given to him by mummy and daddy.
    You will have to fight for it this time, Dave.
    But to be quite honest I just don’t think you have it in you.

  56. 56
    PM says:

    Farage looks more like a toad than a chihuahua.

  57. 57
    Bob Dole says:

    It would be a shame if the Conservatives ended up one seat short.

  58. 58
    Brain Rot Edinburgh University says:

    Nigel is a knob but a funny one and Bercow is a troughing diddy man.

  59. 59
    Never let it be said that the electorate hasn't been warned says:

    We should start to draw up the indictment now against the BBC for the resultant national crisis on May 7th when the country awakes to a “Hung Parliament”.They have been constantly pushing Clegg and the LibDem agenda since last night(ok actually since last week)and encouraging public support for a result where no party has overall control….this is the politics of the madhouse……Have they not looked across the channel at countries like Belgium ? Coalition = weak government= constitutional crisis.

  60. 60
    no referendum, no vote says:

    Have a look, seems fine to me..
    I would say the best of the lot this election

  61. 61
    Aristander of Telmissus says:

    I wish people would stop going on about Cameron’s “broken promise” of a referendum. Once the thing was signed, it was too late. The referendum would have achieved nothing. We were committed – by Labour’s broken promise!

  62. 62
    Adolf Hitler says:

    Yes it is an excellent manifesto with lots of good ideas.
    Very progressive indeed.

  63. 63
    jgm2 says:

    They’d hold a Dutch auction of a Ministerial seat to entice a LibDem/Lab MP to jump ship.

    Start at Environment or Agriculture or something then move up the rankings till one of them cracks.

  64. 64
    Eugenically programmed with Brain Rot. says:

    Nigel! Phwooaar!

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    LibLab coaliton, LibCon coaliton, it’s all the same because
    I agree with Gordon.

  66. 66
    David says:

    LibLab coaliton, LibCon coaliton, it’s all the same because
    I agree with Gordon.

  67. 67
    David Cameron says:

    LibLab coaliton, LibCon coaliton, it’s all the same because
    I agree with Gordon.

  68. 68
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah. we all know that. The trolls only say it to wind you up. It’s a bit like the Thatcher quite they like to wheel out ‘There is no such thing as society..’ Conveniently leaving out the whole context of the quote.

    It would be like the Tories winding Labour up about Brown’s quote ‘No more return to boom.’

  69. 69
    David Cameron says:

    I agree with Gordon

  70. 70
    David Cameron says:

    I agree with Gordon…

  71. 71
    Pensioner with no human rights says:

    Nige is cute but that chihuaha is so wovely

  72. 72
    jgm2 says:

    Belgium may have had a ‘constitutional crisis’ but the country kept on running just fine. The taxes kept getting collected, everybody kept getting paid, the only people who were worried were the politicians because folk were starting to notice that the country was doing just fine without them.

    Mind you, they weren’t running 170bn quid deficits with the markets expecting savage cuts on 7th May or they’ll trash the UK currency. Which probably helped.

  73. 73
    Après Clegg le déluge says:

    ……..which is something that you don’t say too often I understand ?

  74. 74
    Just asking ? says:

    Or if they are awaiting for the delayed result at Thirsk postponed because of the death of the UKIP candidate…John Boakes

  75. 75
    Benefits Kulture UK says:

    I wish i could vote for him. he can have a tenner from me…

  76. 76
    Seventies Survivor says:

    Help – I’ve been silenced by the Thought Police. All I said was…

  77. 77
    Arsène Heitz...the man who designed the new national flag says:

    Then we are all fucked cos’ nobody else is up to the job in the Tory Party Shadow Cabinet…they’re either “also rans”….”don’t connect with the electorate” or fucking worse than Dave. God help the Tory party and God help the United Kingdom…..we may as well lower the Union Flag now and raise the Blue and Yellow Stars in its place

  78. 78
    Benefits Kulture UK says:

    I totally agree. Where are his nuts? He should have nailed Clegg and Brown in the debates but just stood there without any fire. Sad.

  79. 79

    Thats OK. Donations are still claimable as expenses aren’t they?

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    I read this morning that there are still more than 100,000 stuck abroad. I notice that the ArkRoyal and Ocean promised by gordon as being on their way to Calais have been quietly re-assigned to other duties after the Calais harbourmaster’s office pointed out that the harbour couldn’t take those ships!

    After that gordon completely lost interest in trying to solve the problem, and anyone stranded has been left to their own devices.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Lot of sympathy with this – but cometh the hour, cometh the man? Maybe, just maybe, he will discover a resolve he has never needed before and is flaccid through misuse, but will stiffen when faced with Clegg.

  82. 82
    Get a Grip says:

    Wasn’t he on Blue Peter?

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Bercow losing his seat would be almost as good as Balls losing his : )

  84. 84
    Atlas shrugged says:

    We are all Chihauhuas now.

    Very stupid small minded animals with no other useful purpose other then to make a disproportionate amount of noise, shit even more, and otherwise live pointlessly short lives.

    Only please do not allow yourself to get at paranoid about the situation the entire world is in the same quickly sinking ship.


    DON’T whatever else you do PANIC. For it is exactly what your masters want you to do.

    The only way to bring down the system is to simply refuse to play their utterly corrupted game. Throw the Monopoly board into the air and take the dice home with you. Of course they will try to get you micro chipped as soon as possible afterwards, simply so they can force you to pay your poverty inducing taxes. However at least your dog handlers will be able to find you quick enough should you get lost going walkies without telling them first.

    Also the good thing about being a banksters puppy is that at least you get fed and watered better and more often then the stray variety, as well as better trained to beg for their supper. However the down side comes when your masters get bored with you, can’t, or no longer want to afford you, or simply invent a more fashionably docile breed. In which case you and your family will without doubt become pig food quicker then you can very stupidly say ” I thought socialism was all about being nice to people.” Therefore your end will be reasonably painless, and so strictly according to NSPCA rules.

  85. 85
    tttttt says:

    And what if you lose ? will you commit to keep the treaty or go against the wishes of the country ?

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Not just Buckingham, here in Surrey, too.

    I’ve never not voted Tory – not this time though; it’s UKIP for me.

    Good luck Mr Farage.

  87. 87

    That’s the ticket. Practicality first, pleasure second. The beauty of Buckingham is you can’t lose whoever wins.

  88. 88
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    No Sam is pregnant he needs all his dry powder for his new babys arse !

  89. 89
    Coffin Dodger says:

    He bloody needs too! – what a twerp!

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Thats my thoughts too, they are both twats but at least Farage is an entertaining twat

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    It might even be irrelevant as well.

  92. 92
    Mrs Higginsbottom says:

    Oily Letwind, he who apparently invented Dave’s mind blowing “more public participation” claptrap is worried that he will lose his seat if the swing to Liberal Dipsticks translates into votes.

    Described elsewhere as “little more than a glorified outreach Social Worker”, Letwind has spent most of the last Parliament trying to look clever in the Western Gazette newspaper.

    I would like to ask him why he directed local councils to give £80,000 of ratepayers money to a vanity build project, Leigh Village Hall, which is seldom used except by a few aged Tory supporters, when kids at the local primary are still using portacabins?????

    And Dave wonders where his support has gone?

  93. 93
    A Droyd says:

    I think he looks more like Kermit the Frog

  94. 94
    Wing Commander says:

    I did wonder about the Ark Royal fitting in the harbour, its not exactly compact! I wonder if the 100 buses have turned up yet in Madrid?

  95. 95
    Snuggles says:

    The trouble is that Farage is up against the former Pro Euro Tory MEP John Stevens as well. It will split the “anti Bercow” vote.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Yup ( or should it be yap ? )

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Too true

  98. 98
    Cheese Lover says:

    We never put them down the bowl, sounds like somewhere lesser, Westminster possibly.

  99. 99
    Prodagy says:

    Um. You’re going down an Autobahn at 100mph. You then accelerate to 100.4mph and then by a further 0.2% to 100.6-and-a-bit. Or is that just showing me up as a victim of Britain’s schooling?

  100. 100
    Chris says:

    But not as much as Kaufman does

  101. 101
    Tiresius says:

    …so this is a “Diana moment ” of British politics . X Factor celebrity voting allied with Facebook hysteria .Why not ? Its what Britain deserves. Peurile , financially incontinent and politically moribund lets dick around with a hung parliament and public sector union disruption until the IMF arrives to shrink the state for us eh ?

  102. 102
    RCT says:

    With Curious George directing the conservative campaign Cameron is sunk, how has he been given so much power within CCHQ if for nothing other than the old school tie?

    I dont have anything against private education but the fact remains that the majority of people in this country were educated at state schools and the tories cant be surprised they are unable to appeal to the electorate when they are only representing the wealthy minority in their front bench team.

    Hague and Davis are the only Conservatives with any profile who came up from nothing. Where has Davis been during this campaign? Granted, the man is a self serving opportunist, but he has a better chance of connecting with ordinary voters than Osbourne ever will.

    Personally I think if Hague hadn’t been fast tracked into the leadership and was leader now he would be walking this election. He really is head and shoulders above anyone else in the Conservative or Labour leadership. He has the gravitas, intelligence and credibility even now, despite his abortion of a leadership where he was desperately unlucky to run up against snake oil salesman Blair in all his pomp.

  103. 103
    Never trust a berk says:

    Watching Berk’s smug, greasy little face as the returning officer declares a UKIP win would be better than felated by 1000 wanton concubines. Berkow is a rank hypocrite who should have had the guts to cross the floor and join his leftie chums in NuLabour. Whatever else happens in this election, Berkow needs to be shown the door, preferably with a size 11 boot up his arse on the way out.

  104. 104
    Call me Infidel says:

    I would imagine that in the unlikely event of such an outcome it would be accepted by the public and politicians. Unlike for example that beacon of democracy the EU that makes the country vote again when they come up with the “wrong” result.

  105. 105
    Seventies Survivor says:

    UKIP voter = farmer = thick as pig shit! Ooo Aaargh, Ooo Aaagh, Ooo Aaaargh.

  106. 106
    Busted nokia says:

    trouble is Cameron has shown very very bad judgement to throw away such a lead.. by agreeing to these debates

  107. 107
    Allan@Aberdeen says:

    Bercow will have a great and malign influence over the proceedings in the Commons – and that will matter even if most of the House’s power has been surrendered to the EU. That is why Bercow must be defeated in order to allow a better Speaker to take the Chair.

  108. 108
    Busted nokia says:

    totally agree, such a shame Hague is not leader

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Proud to be a Chihauhua :)

  110. 110
    Cassandrina says:

    The bbc hate Farage as they consider him too clever and big for his boots.
    Weeks after he relinquished leadership the beeboids were still referring to him as the Leader of UKIP.
    This alone makes me want him to win.
    The other is that Bercow, while adroit, cannot be trusted.
    With a lost seat and having a Labour MP wife, if she is voted in, could be the final unwinding of him.

  111. 111
    Batty Hattie Harmanescu says:

    Imagine they both loose their seats, what joy. If these television debates have had any effect on me, it is, that the idea of voting for any of the three main parties, while unlikely before the debate, is now never, ever, ever, under any circumstances going to happen.

    A good independent, UKIP or a spolied ballot. Don’t know yet.

    New Labour called yesterday; missed them. Bugger, I wanted to unrinate on them. Missed my chance.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Batty Hattie Harmanescu says:

    If they both end up on the skids, he could always pimp his old woman. Hear tell; “she bangs like a shit house door”.

  114. 114
    GDS says:

    Sorry Guido, I disagree vehemently. Your Chihiuahas are actually single issue mongs who thing an entire national party’s agenda should be driven by their narrow, intellectually naive and politically stupid ideas.

    I have been a conservative for for the best part of 30 years, I’ve seen highs, lows and disasters beyond parody, I’m still a tory. I’m deeply, passionately eurosceptic but I accept, and always have done, that true toryism is a broad and complex church that MUST encompass many views and many voices if it is to be a party of government. Narrow, linear, single issue politics is the politics of idiocy and UKIP sympathy by supposed tories suggests petulance not intellect.

    We as a party need to get our hand on the tiller of government first, then we can start to turn the supertanker around. I genuinely believe that Cameron, Osborne and Hague are instinctively eurosceptic but deeply pragmatic about the fact “we are where we are”. They need the mandate to plot a course that limits further integration that is detrimental to the national good and to drive Europe out of La-La land and into the real world.

    Outside of Buckingham where the short-arsed karnt deserves a kicking, a vote for UKIP is, IMHO, a vote for the continuance of the EU hegemony.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Woof woof

  116. 116
    max says:

    “Stuck” in Bangkok for a week?! One of the most fun places on the planet, and the five star hotels are cheap as chips. Hard to think of a worse punishment. The sad thing is you are so socialised by the state you think the government, i.e. other taxpayers, are the solution. Do grow up. Be lucky if you see your friends this side of Christmas and their smiles will last longer than the coalition.

  117. 117
    Valerunner says:

    The post event one was about staying in or going out following Wilson’s notional renegotiatons. Cameron never promised an in/out referendum other than in the so-called minds of some of the people commenting here. This referendum was about stopping the EU doing what it has now been authorised by Brown et al to do – it’s doing it and no referendum in the UK can stop it.

    I’m really disappointed that someone as perceptive as Guido doesn’t seem to get this.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    You describe the kind of rabid little England Tories that put me off voting Conservative.

    Farage is a pompous fool. I sincerely hope he doesn’t get elected.

  119. 119
    City of Vice says:

    100% Agree. Farage does a good rant. He’d have ripped Brown and Clegg a new arsehole. This election should have been done and dusted by now given the mess Labour have made.

    I’ve had enough of Dave’s vacuous ‘change’ bollocks. ‘Change’ the record Dave.

  120. 120

    You are basically confirming the Chihiuaha thesis.

  121. 121
    City of Vice says:

    Letwin used to be in Hackney, London years ago. He ran for MP against Diane Abbot and lost – no surprise there – Mickey Mouse with a red rosette would win for Labour in that shithole. But Letwin was a nice but dim twat then and by all accounts he’s just the same now.

    They can shove their big society bollox up their proverbials. We want red meat policies, not socialist-lite drivel.

  122. 122
    GDS says:

    not really because the basic premise of your theory is that I support the Tories out of pragmatism but am a UkIPper at heart. That’s how your thread reads but I’m not, outside of Bercow I think UKIP are single issue numptys of the forst order. Nonenties beyond redemption. Pray tell how that confirms your theory. True Eurosceptics would work within the Conservative GOVERNMENT to exert the right influence on an increasingly left/right politically mixed EU. UKIP will just scream from the touchline that they can’t get on the pitch. Wasters

  123. 123
    UKIP Until We're Free says:

    Sadly, neither they nor UKIP are standing where I am. Refuse to vote for Cast-Iron Dave, so it will be spoilt-paper again. What a waste.

  124. 124
    UKIP Until We're Free says:

    Better idea to ‘Change’ Dave.

  125. 125
    Trev says:

    Of course Bercow is disliked because he is not really a conservative. he has been peddling the labour line prior to doing a Woodward – until it al
    l went wrong for labour. Then he targeted the speaker.

    This has nothing to do with UKIP who are a bunch of tossers who would gift the election to brown.

  126. 126
    Absolutely Passionate says:

    Couldn’t you give your vote to an independent?
    it may help them to keep their deposit, and at least it would count as a vote against the main three.

  127. 127
    UKIP Until We're Free says:

    Farage is a breath of fresh air. I sincerely hope he does get elected.

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Ok the chihuahua is on the left, who is the guy with a wig on?

  129. 129
    Peasant says:

    Farage himself has boasted that he has claimed £2 million in expenses from the EU as an MEP, and there are two UKIP MEPs who have been gaoled for expenses and benefit fraud. So is it wise for Nigel “two mill” Farage to fight John “seven grand” Bercow on his expenses claims? Much better for a UKIP candidate to fight on UKIP policies, which surely have no resemblance to Bercow’s, and may even be similar to the people of Buckingham?

  130. 130
    Peasant says:

    Entryist in the 70s was a common philosophy in Labour: people like Millitant joined Labour to try and get influence for their policies. They didn’t. All that happened was that the Labour factions fought and brought down the party. That is history. Entryism, pissing out rather than pissing in, does not work, especially when people are not pissing in the same direction.

    If you seriously think that the Tory party are so broad church as to accommodate Europhiles and Eurosceptics then you simply were not paying attention during the fag end of Major’s reign. Cameron knows what the euro-Bastards did to Major and the Tory party and he will not let that happen again. You and your ilk will be squished by Cameron and his cabal. Major said “Put up or Shut up”, Cameron is not as polite as Major.

  131. 131
    king chillout says:

    they picked the wrong Dave.

  132. 132
    Postlethwaite says:

    I wish people would get behind this UKIP group to get the embezzeler out of office instead of ridiculing them with (in this case personal and) spurious comment.

    Do you honestly prefer Beercow to the UKIP alternative??


  133. 133
    not falling for it says:

    my vote’s been posted today voted UKIP… You troy’s had your chance and lost my vote ………”in Europe not run by Europe” my ass you mean in Europe run by Europe dont you

  134. 134
    Mrs Trellis says:

    Reminds me of the joke “How low can you go?” Answer: A Chihuahua.

  135. 135
    Mrs Trellis says:

    Or the lady whose little dog developed a skin problem and was advised by the vet to get some hair-removing cream for it. So she went to the chemist and asked for a depila tory. The chemist advised her to smear it under her arms and then shower after half an hour.
    “Oh no”, she said, “it’s for my chihuahua.”
    “In that case”, said the chemist, “follow the same procedure, but don’t ride your bike for a fornight”.

  136. 136
    Mrs Trellis says:

    That slogan didn’t work for them last time, either.

  137. 137
    Postlethwaite says:

    Sounds like you are putting forward good reasons to get out of the common market.


  138. 138
    mutley says:

    “Are you a tory chihuahua?” Answer. No. Its a crap post anyway.

  139. 139
    Mrs Trellis says:

    Farage is odious, but Bercow and his wife do not deserve to have their noses in the trough under any circumstances, so let’s get rid of them first.

  140. 140
    Cold beer in the bahay kubo says:

    Have relatives stuck in the Philippines, can’t get a flight till 5th May; presumably to arrive on the 6th. Don’t know if they will vote though.

  141. 141
    Jabbb the Cat says:

    Sounds like you should move to Belgium.

  142. 142
    Jabbb the Cat says:

    Don’t chihuahuas perpetually lick their arses?

  143. 143
    Tony_E says:

    It’s not irrelevent. Removing Bercow would be a a very important if symbolic step towards removing the kind of sleaze, political skullduggery and corruption that Labour have represented for 13 years.

    Remember why he was elected. Not because he was the best man for the job, but because it was the turn of an opposition member to sit in the chair and Labour wanted to stick one over the opposition.

    Bercow is totally unsuitable for the job and must be removed.

  144. 144
    A Celt says:

    Do not discount Liam Fox

  145. 145
    dorset communisty akshun says:

    i would like to point out that as grant advisors to the council we recommended that the councils pay grants to the vainglorious village hall diversity project, following mr letwind’s wishes, and we are untouchable ok?

    being an independant left wing ex new age traveller quango who dont use upper case letters as it smacks of class distinction, we are unaccountable to the ratepayers, although directly funded by local councils, therefore we are used to recommend major funding issues which may prove unpopular. should they later turn out to be popular, then credit is taken by robert “two bags” gould (con) leader of the district council.

    as an example of cross party co operation at the trough, liberals and conservatives work together in dorset to implement our policies of greater community diversity as directed by the glorious leader, a true coalition.

    i happen to know that the kiddies are perfectly happy in their portacabin, and the fact that the council can only manage to collect two bags of rubbish a week due to financial constraints, while handing out large diversity grants to vanity projects is irrelevant.

    the fact that our organisation’s president owned the site for the aforementioned village diversity hall is also completely irrelevant.

    in fact we are irelevant but we are untouchable and have nice pensions, thats how it works, geddit?

  146. 146
    Fuck off Farage says:

    I cant wait to say the smile wiped off Farage’s face on election night when Bercow sends him packing out of Buckingham and back to Brussels where he belongs with his £2m expenses claim…talk about flipping. Heis the biggest trougher of them all.

  147. 147
    Zaragon says:

    If Farage and Bercow were the only candidates I think it might be close – but as it is I’m afraid Bercow will survive quite comfortably. Surely nobody can take any pleasure in that. I sat next to him at lunch once at a policy meeting and he’s one of those people whose every utterance is an affectation designed to impress upon you just how clever he is. He is a crashing bore and a charlatan. I do not think he would be missed in Parliament.

  148. 148
    Jimmy says:

    I must admit I’m torn. Much as I’d like to root for someone who will damage the tory party, they’re still basically the beeyenpee with ties on.

  149. 149

    […] Are You a Tory Chihuahua? – Guy Fawkes’ blog […]

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    The one emptying the bins doesn’t count

  151. 151
    Anonymous says:

    If he does get in he’s probably going to be UKIP’s only MP. Since this means he’d have no party colleagues to favour, wouldn’t that make Nige the ideal replacement speaker?

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:

    Black chap. Something of a minstrel. Can’t say I like his style much, but he is reckoned to be the cat’s pyjamas by certain types of the beatnik persuasion.

  153. 153

    Well, apparently, when the ferry companies heard about Gordo’s plan to re-enact Op Dynamo, they realised this would mean HMG taking over the running of the show as well. This prompted them to frantically start issuing press releases saying they were managing fine and there was no need for the Navy to step in. They probably bribed the harbourmaster at Calais to tell the RN their ships were too big. Anything to keep this government’s inept hands off their smooth running operation.

    As for the fleet of a hundred buses arriving. I’ve heard nothing but with Millpede Minimus and Gordon involved in the planning and organisation I wouldn’t be surprised if the busses were eventually discovered wandering the Balkans like a fleet of Flying Dutchmen.

  154. 154

    Well, that arch-Europhile, Cleggie, offered an in or out referendum claiming te issue needed to be resolved “once and for all”. Now I don’t trust him ny more than I trust the others, but a fair, once and for all vote to resolve whether Britain leaves or stays seems to have approval from both sides of the divide.

    As to the mechanics of leaving – How do you quite any club? Just stop paying your dues and don’t go to any more club meetings and events. If you’re polite and wish to leave on good terms you might send a letter to the secretary explaining why you’ve left, but beyond that what more do you need to do.

  155. 155
    Noise says:

    Meh. Nothing on the UKIP manifesto sounds particularly horrible (to anyone except welfare claimants, non-jobbers, thieves and immigrants).

    I can’t bring myself to vote for their ilk mind, the media attention they get has successfully brainwashed me into disregarding them as bland racist Basil Fawlties.

    Alas, at least they seem sincere and open about their intentions. You can understand their mindset even if you don’t support their mindset. This is perhaps the one true problem the mainstream parties have.

    No one really knows what the fuck labour will do (besides support UNITE who will no doubt get their year-on-year guaranteed payrises). I have this theory that the only rational explanation for labours behaviour over the last 2 years has been to ensure maximum debt levels are achieved, whilst also ensuring defeat at the election. Leaving someone else to make the rational budget cuts. So the army of 6 million public sector workers are left clear-minded about the “good old times under labour”. Gordon isn’t popular – they have vague alternatives.

    Anyway – traditional media sources have made it clear they support maintaining the political status quo. All minor rogue parties have been belittled and attacked.

    I can only hope this obsession with Europe has at least some vaguely sensible underlying masterplan – presumably removing the concept of national identity to control the otherwise unavoidable natural-resources and population crisis guaranteed somewhere around 2050.

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Farage has his flaws, but no self respecting Tory would have any problem with his unseating the deeply unsound Bercow. It would also be a very politically convenient result in that it would save all the unpleasantness of forcing Bercow out of the speakership at a later date (I’m not sure how much more of his antics the Tory benches could stomach post-election).

    And Bercow would finally be free to cross the floor and find his ideological home. A Farage victory would be win-win!

  157. 157

    […] Disenfranchised Tories in the constituency are putting their weight behind UKIP – Sir Nicholas is a patron of the Buckingham Conservative Association and a former foreign office minister. Bonsor is a big Chihuahua… […]

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    If this man’s only vocabulary is crude then he is not worth listening to. Can’t he debate intelligently? I’ll bet he’s a labour voter. The sooner we get Bercow and G Brown out the better.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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