April 18th, 2010

Where’s Gordon?

A quick glance at TheStraightChoice leaflet archive shows that not a single Labour candidate has deemed it a good idea to put Gordon on their literature. Guido will give a copy of The Big Red Book of New Labour Sleaze to the first person who sends him a scan of such a leaflet. Obviously not from Kircaldy…

UPDATE : David Jessop wins the book, Daniel Zeichner in Cambridge has a tiny picture of Jonah him on his leaflet.


  1. 1
    Mitch says:

    He is being airbrushed from history, because its the right thing to do and they always make the right decisions.

    Ahhhhhhh their ashamed of him how cute.


    • 5
      Lib-dems are socialists too says:

      Here is a good one straight out of the Lib-dems manifesto

      “Supporting 100pc cancellation of the unpayable debts of the world’s poorest countries”

      Do they mean the UK’s unpayable debt too?


      • 12
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        The way that the pound is set to go, it will mean one and the same thing.


      • 18
        He's behind in the polls says:

        “Where’s Dave?”

        Crying tiny, tiny tears at CCHQ


        • 27
          think about your grandchildren for a second. says:

          Dave will only be crying as he was the one who wanted the glory in destroying Great Britain for his buildrerberg masters.

          as it happens it makes no difference if Clegg was in Number 10 or Dave, both will get their orders through the EU/NWO and will ignore the eltorate the second they get in power and so will the NWO media, just like last time.

          Cleggs big ideas will be shot down in flames by his EU masters, losing the nukes – dont make me laugh, the NWO wouldnt allow it, not until the UK is destroyed anyhow.

          One thing Clegg, Brown and Cameron will conspire to do however is give citizen ship to all the illegals before the next election and flood the UK with EU immigrants, mostly from outside the EU via the EU.

          This is nothing less than opperation kill Britain.

          Vote for any of these lying puppets at your peril, your grand children will not thank you, especially when the EU closes down the private schools and brings in conscription.


          • Behold! the dastardly BildyBurger King and his NWO genocidal madness says:



            Other EU countries ie Spain issue illegal immigrants with EU visa’s knowing full well that they dont want to stay in Spain
            so they can then come here legally


          • mojofury says:

            If your not going to win and a hung parliament between Lib Lab is the likely outcome, then take a GAMBLE, Offer a referendum, do something bold, headline grabbing and with the potential to change the game.


      • 91
        MYRA HINDLEY says:

        I’ve never voted Lib Dem before but I like their idea of giving people like me a vote.


    • 14
      He's behind you says:

      “Where’s Gordon?”

      He’s on the Andrew Marr Show after the GP a 10:15


  2. 2
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    We have witnessed that Labour activists:

    * rig the electoral system so they have an in-built 10% advantage.

    * rig postal votes to a degree that it is blatantly obvious, even to the uninformed.

    * even masquerade using our monikers, on this site, to post NewLab co-ordinated drivel.

    Have we considered that their supporters may not even reach the third place shown in the polls? If all the double count were removed, they might only reach a vote of around the 10% mark.

    So, despite all this trickery, we could be going back to the times of the Whigs and the Tories. The electorate might vote again for a Disraeli, of whom an opponent claimed that he had “done more for the working classes in five years than the Liberals have in fifty.”


    • 15
      Anonymous says:

      don’t like first past the post ? don’t support it then


      • 34
        think about your grandchildren for a second. says:

        “we could be going back to the times of the Whigs and the Tories.”

        That was when we had a country, we no longer have a country and the only ideology the `parties` have today is how fast they can sell the people of the UK out to the EU and its corporate backers.

        Talking about these EU administrators as if they would be leadeers of a country with clearly defined ideologies for this country is a nonsense, they all work for the EU.

        How thick do you have to be to vote Lib Lab Con unless you support corpotocracy and enslavement communist China style.

        at this rate the EU will have to buile a wall to stop us from escaping to Russia!


      • 37
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        1. We are never asked this as a question and
        2. I have a dislike of voting for someone’s policy only to have that wish totally disregarded when they find it expedient to get into bed with someone else (whether metaphorically or literally.)

        So if your question really means, “Do you want PR?” then my answer is most emphatically no!


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Kircaldy, not Kirkaldy.

    Really Guido, anyone might think you’ve not visited ‘The Kingdom’ before.


  4. 4
    True Fifer says:

    oops, Kirkcaldy.


  5. 6
    A mere peasant says:

    Labour do this when they’re ashamed of their leaders – Blair was missing from their 2005 election leaflets.


  6. 7
    pension robber brown says:

    hes probably hiding in the the bunker the bastard scheming with Clegg as to best rob the pension funds after may 7th


  7. 8
    Beat You says:

    We’re all ignoring Gordoom together.


  8. 10

    Presumably the Labour candidates will be rushing to include pics of Nick “31 and counting” Clegg, the most popular party leader since Winston Shakespeare.


    • 49
      Clegg:Is he the new Obama or the new Churchill ? You decide ! Phone lines now open. says:

      AND tonight singing to win Britain’s Got Talent…it’s Nick from Sheffield……….


      • 59
        call me Dave 'man of substance not public relations' Blair says:

        AND tonight singing to win Britain’s Got Talent…it’s Dave and Gary……….


      • 61

        Nick from Spain ‘n Russia, he’s only 1/4 Englander.


        • 72
          Clegg:Is he the new Obama or the new Churchill ? You decide ! Phone lines now open. says:

          But the majority of the British electorate wouldn’t know that.They think Clegg is a “Northerner” and not “posh” like Dave even though he went to private school too.They also think that a “Hung Parliament” would be a good thing for the UK as Cable will become Chancellor and solve everything…….


  9. 17
    Anonymous says:

    I think Patrick Hall, the Bedford Labour candidate, had a small picture of him and Gordon on the inside cover.

    I can’t prove it because I binned the leaflet when it came through the door.


    • 68
      Yokel says:

      My no-hope Labour candidate has a picture of herself with Ed Balls. Obviously wishes to spend more time with her family.


  10. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Obviously you forgot about Nick Brown who recently sent out a massive newspaper which had loads of photos of the pair of them looking like panto dames. Nick also has blown the remaining budget on a massive billboard on Shields Road next to Morrisons. Its just a big photo of him and the Tyne Bridges.


  11. 20

    This is the most boring general erection I can ever remember

    Come back Jeremy Thorpe and Sir Alec Douglas Home, all is forgiven

    ehr, Thatcher — you keep back, okay?

    all hope remains in shorts


  12. 25
    Hugh Janus says:

    According to the Sun Tel our idiotic and completely delusional PM seems to think that by saying “I want to woo the middles classes” they will flock to the ballot box and cast their vote for the utterly discredited NuLiebour. Don’t insult our intelligence McBust. That 13 years of stealth taxes and every conceivable attempt to bleed us white to support your feckless supporters will simply vanish overnight? You are about to find out – as the rest of us realised from the outset – that the vast sums of our money you spent trying to buy the votes of this election will not save your bacon.

    As you trot around the country doing your (feeble) best to damage your opponents with ever more desperate scare stories, has it not occurred to you that, in this tirade of rubbishing and empty, over-worked soundbites, they know that your game is up?

    Socialism always enjoys spending vast sums of other people’s money, and some. Actions speak louder than words, and yours have been more than enought to see you and your wretched party consigned to oblivion.

    NuLiebour – without doubt the most sickening, vile and spiteful government of modern times.


  13. 26
    Rumpled Foreskin says:

    Hasn’t he got a lovely natural erm, smile in the Hot Button section to the right?


  14. 29
    Mr Bean says:

    Stalin has suffered the same fate as Trotsky.He has been removed from the photographic memory.


  15. 30
    Busted nokia says:

    how long would a lib/lab pact run for in the next Parliament? Would be interesting to see both parties try and fix the mess, as it would be difficult for them to blame the tories for the mess we are now in… imagine the effect of the IMF coming in for the next election..


  16. 32

    one day if you’re good you may gain admittance to that hallowed place.

    all hope remains in shorts


  17. 33

    I bet Gordon features on a few Tory candidates’ leaflets. He is the Conservative Party’s main celebrity vote winner.


    • 41
      Heirbrushed to Blair says:

      they should put Camerons face on a massive poster since he is such a vote winner

      oh that’s right! they tried that and it bombed and drew ridicule


      • 52

        Thank you for your insight but Cameron doesn’t drive voters into the arms of Labour. Brown is a disaster and the Labour MPs trying grimly to hang onto their jobs must rue the day they bottled their opportunity to get rid of the old fraud. But they are a party of cowards and chancers so you could expect nothing less.

        To have a ruling party kicked out of government is not unusual but to have them kicked into third place is unprecedented.


  18. 42
    ian e says:

    So, if Cameron, Clegg and Brown all jumped off the Eiffel Tower at the same time, who would hit the ground last?

    Who cares!


    • 51
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      If Brown fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune. If anybody pulled him out, that I suppose would be a calamity.”


      • 70
        Yokel says:

        Cartoon from 1966. Two men standing beside a canal. Harold Wilson has fallen in and is on the verge of drowning, piteously crying “Help! Help!”

        Man 1 to Man 2: “I wonder what he really means by that?”


    • 57
      Et tu Boris ? says:

      If Dave fell in his swimming pool that would be misfortune.
      If Boris and David Davis held him under that would be funny yet understandable.


  19. 47
    Gary Elsby PPC Stoke Central says:

    I felt in necessary not to put LABOUR on my general election material!!

    Go on Guido, you want me to win, admit it.


  20. 48
    MB. says:

    In the Sunday Mail today

    “Builder claims he was beaten up on campaign trail

    Apr 18 2010 Derek Alexander, Sunday Mail

    A BUILDER yesterday claimed he was beaten up after asking a campaigning Labour politician to repay a debt.

    Pat Sweeney told police he was battered in front of MSP Michael McMahon and Westminster candidate Jimmy Hood – but the 56-year-old was stunned when he was arrested and spent the weekend behind bars.”



  21. 50
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    These live debates – isn’t it becoming obvious Bruins presence is a waste of time? Literally everything he says can be dismissed by the other two, and the watching public, with “you’ve had 13 years to sort it out – we don’t believe you any more”.
    Save time, get it more interesting and swap him for one or two of the other party leaders for the next ones.


    • 86
      A mere peasant says:

      I think you’re correct. It’s essentially a discussion on how to sort out the mess that Brown’s made. Although neither Clegg nor Cameron seem have anything worthwhile to say, Brown certainly doesn’t. He shouldn’t even be there.


  22. 53
    Gerwyn says:

    Labour candidate for Clwyd West has got him on her election address. V brave.


  23. 56
    Gordon's Botox merchant says:

    A gold star to anyone who sees Gordon’s brow move on the Marr show, damn I’m good with the fillers too.

    Roll up roll up, I can take your face back years, not just the economy.


  24. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Surely trying to make Jim Murphy look more attractive is a tall order for any photo shop software?



  25. 60

    Never mind that, *where* are Tory activists? Why are they so tamely watching this election being thrown? Dont’ they *want* to win?

    I know Dave is just doing what he’s being told by whoever the fuck it is is running the show, but why are the party faithful going along with it all? Where’s the dissent? They can’t all be Lizard People, surely?

    He gives in, he gives us an EU in/out vote, he wins – isn’t that what politics is about?

    (I knwo there’s a zillion other things needed but I haven’t had breakfast yet, and getting control of our country back is Job #1 – we can sort out the rest after that.)


    • 62
      Camerhoons says:

      Hilton is running the ‘message’ Coulson the papers and Porky Pickles the Campaign.
      I think that explains just about everything.


    • 67
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      Dave told the grass root “dinosaurs” to fuck off. They duly obliged.


      • 110
        mojofury says:

        Frank- He gives in, he gives us an EU in/out vote, he wins – isn’t that what politics is about?

        Cameron has no excuse now, Libs on a roll he can see the vision slowly disappearing over the horizon.

        Offer the referendum, it will fragment the other parties vote and frame the question – Common Market or More federal EU Government.

        Worry about the answer when your in a postion to worry about it.



        • 128
          Angry, formerley of Atherton. says:

          Problem with Cam, to me, seems to be, that he is being far too honnest about what he plans to do.

          Lie Dave!!!…Lie yer fucking arse off, then yer a shoe in….It worked for Tony.


  26. 63

    Not Fair
    i’ve had five different ones in the last few weeks
    and i’ve posted each one back without a stamp ,of course !


  27. 64
    Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP says:

    I am proud to be standing for re-election as the Labour candidate for Edinburgh South West. I see no reason for having a picture of Gordon Brown on my election literature.


  28. 69
    Sheep follow the crowd says:

    Herd, sheep, sheep, herd all following Clegg over the cliff, today’s hero tomorrow’s villain. The Spice Girls had more polical savvy than this lot.

    Since Brown became unelected and unapposed PM there has been an election campaign 3 years long. He took it up to the wire when his bottle went in 2007.

    Now we are going to have a government without an overall majority having to do deals in corridors, in toilets, in a coalition and in the Westmisnster Arms to be followed when it all comes tumbling down in six months by yet another election with 3 more debates. A polical commentator’s utopia.

    Michael Foot’s 1983 Labour manifesto may have been the the longest suicide note in history but now Brown presides over the longest election campaign in history with no end in sight and at a time when we have soldiers fighting in Afghanistan and trillion of £££££££’s in debt.


  29. 74
    At my signal.....unleash hell ! says:

    After days of dithering the order has gone out from CCHQ it seems to the Tory attack trolls…..Target Clegg as he’s now perceived the bigger threat to them.In the run up to next week’s debate Clegg and the LibDems are going to be under immense pressure.Cameron knows he has to take on Clegg on Thursday on the LibDems policy on Europe and Trident and win or it’s all over for the “Cameroons” and Dave the oh so nearly Prime Minister


  30. 75
    NICK CLEGG-over of the GLIB-DUMBS says:

    No ! No ! No !
    I only said it was in our manifesto
    of course it’s a load of shite and nothing adds up
    we never thought we would have to deliver !


    • 94
      The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

      Never a truer word…Cowley Street is bricking it.They may actually have to govern !!!


  31. 76

    We have Lots of homo’s, lesbians and a few straight’s
    and now we have Edwina Lizzard for those of you who are not sure !


  32. 79
    Sarah Tweet says:

    has written a new diary for the Sunday Mirror tomorrow about my campaigning week


  33. 80
    Right Bastard says:

    Where’s Gordon? Why, he’s dead.

    He’s wheeled out into the public like a latter day El Cid surrounded by entourage and with rouge applied to his lifeless cheeks. A wire is attached to his bucket jaw which is pulled from time to time by Mangledarse whereupon a mechanical voice intones “it all started in America, it’s the right thing to do…”.


    • 98
      The never ending road into nowhere says:

      Great Idea, RB

      Note: To Labour Party Strategists

      In the next Labour Party political broadcast can we see him strapped to his horse and riding along the beach strewn with detritous and into the sea at Beachy Head pursued by a cloud of volcanic ash into the Sun set to the sound of swelling strings playing the theme from The Man of La Mancha ??


    • 104
      Yardarm says:



  34. 81
    Biased Broadcasting Company says:

    Gordon on Labour candidates leaflets? It would be like your local NHS having Dr Harold Shipman on theirs!

    The kiss of death.


  35. 82
    Is there anyone with a backbone? says:

    KLM 737 test flight indicates no volcanic ash risk


    So is someone going to take charge and let flying commence? Come on Gordon get back to COBRA and get the UK flying again.


    • 90
      Climategate says:

      Doesn’t help that it is the same MET office that predicted a BBQ summer and a mild winter that is predicting the Atmospheric Ash distributions.


      • 97
        Dack Blog says:

        We’re having a BBQ spring.


        • 105
          Meanwhile in Iceland says:

          It appears that only the EU bedwetters paradise, is cut off from the world, normal flights from North America are still on schedule and there has been no disruption of service.


          • Dack Blog says:

            As it’s the end of the school hols I imagine a fair few pupes and staff will be among those who won’t be making it back tomorrow.


  36. 83

    And where Harriet Harman ?

    Anyone seen her on TV over the last month ?


  37. 87
    A worried reader, writing in best crayon, says:

    Dear Mr Guido,

    I still do a weird thing with my jaw.

    My advisors recommend me to have a cast iron bridle fitted to my face, – like a scold’s bridle.

    But that is silly. It would stop me talking.

    Privately, I wonder if the tic is caused by my having a broom handle up my arse.

    Can you or your readers help?

    (name and Address supplied)


  38. 89
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Gladstone to Disraeli: “I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease.”

    Disraeli: “That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”

    Bring back the spirit of those days!


  39. 92
    MC_Dog says:

    My local Labour candidate here in Ayrshire Central, Brian “Braindead” Donohoe, has a picture of himself and Brown on the election flyer. Unfortunately I ripped it into 100 bits when it came through the letterbox yesterday. Do I get a copy of the book anyway?


    • 122
      BrianSJ says:

      The wonderful Sandra Osborne (Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock) has a picture of herself with Brown on her leaflet as well.


      • 129
        Angry, formerley of Atherton. says:

        The only election flyer I have received here in South Herts if for David Gauke, not a peep from anyone else, not even B&P

        (just outside of Watford, so I have’nt had to endure Claire Wards onslaught)


  40. 93
    janramzon says:

    Oh flux! I’m in pieces!
    My vision’s all yellow.
    I’m on telly, Mum, “Hello!”,
    Disorder, I don’t know
    When it will all settle again.
    Until then.
    Go back to your constituencies.
    And call Charlie Whelan.


  41. 95
    captain quark says:

    Dave has got to be thinking that the only thing worse than losing this election would be winning it. Would you want to have to sort out the mess these hoons have made?

    “Future fair for all”. Everybody is fucked. Yes, completely fair.

    And then they shut down UK airspace so I can’t get the fuck out of here and never come back.

    “Fairstrip One”. Its the right thing to do.


  42. 96
    Longbow says:

    British team first, yea
    British car, first, yea
    British drivers, first, yea


  43. 99
    Dack Blog says:

    Who’s on Marr? I even cut short my Sunday lie-in and – bloody racing (never bothered to watch it since Senna died).


  44. 100
    Longbow says:

    Guido even mods the result of the Gran Prix now, we do live in strange times


  45. 101
    david says:

    The Tories should now do the obvious, hand the campaign over too Amanda Platell, she did wonders for, ‘little Willie’

    Then use Ken Clarke to attack the Libdems as a bunch of Eurofanatics, errr sorry for not being as fanatical about Europe as he is.

    Brown? oh! Gordon Brown, with the Tories flat on their arses, and the Libdems running riot, the guy who’ll come through the middle and walk back into no10.

    Remember Gordon you owe it all to Dave, the guy who threw away a 27% lead.

    Redwood! get out the knife, your time is coming, won’t be long now.


  46. 103
    We all live in a yellow submarine says:

    This time next week people will be asking the who the fcuk is Nick Clegg.

    He owns a baker shops in teesside. Great sausage rolls.


  47. 109
    Dack Blog says:

    In times like these Marr has some actor I’ve never heard of and PJ Harvey. Brown next – maybe they didn’t want too much political insight to muddy his waters.

    Polly – we’re really not interested in your autoharp at the moment. Fuck off.


  48. 111
    Article 38 says:

    Is this actually a secret plot to get us to read Labour’s vile lying propaganda?


  49. 113
    mojofury says:

    Did I miss a trick or does the Conservative manifesto say they will lift the inheritance threshold to 1 million pounds.

    Doesn’t this mean that working and middle class household effectively won’t pay anything (when taking into account property), whereas those with over a million will pay.

    If this is the case what is Brown on about (MARR Today is number 1 priority to stop the tory inheritance rises that benefit only 3000).


    • 116
      Susie says:

      He’s banking on the fact that after 13 years people won’t be able to do mental arithmetic or hoping people will think that it’s only with people who inherit more than million estates who will be exempt from tax.

      Of course it’s the opposite, but we are in Wonderland and right through the Looking Glass living on funny money so who cares?.


      • 125
        Kramer's pal says:

        He is investment banking on the fact that after 49 quarters of Labour’s educhaysun educhaysun educhaysun they will not work out that this does not compute


  50. 114
    Gormless Clown says:

    Tory Welsh Secretary is having a much better debate on Sky than “Dave” had in the national one. She doesn’t stand a cat in hell’s chance, of course, but that’s not the point.
    Shrill Limp Dim woman is dreadful.


  51. 117
    cyberbrits says:

    Taking about Labour airbrushing… from today’s NOTW.

    “LABOUR bigwigs used computer trickery to touch up a miserable election photo of Scottish Secretary Jim Murphy because they feared he resembled “a member of the ADDAMS FAMILY”.”



  52. 120
    Thats MISTER pleb to you! says:

    I can only see one realistic way back for this counry now.

    This election results in a Lib/lab pact, which will, of course, be a shambles. The markets will then implode, and joe public at last realizes that we are bankrupt big time and eventually the IMF comes along, grabs us by the scruff of the neck and kicks us nationally in the balls.

    Election called in 6 – 12 months from now, by which time Dave has been told to piss off and a real tory leader takes his place. After the following election win, the tories, once again, drag this country out of the shit.

    Can anyone think of such a potential tory leader?


  53. 121
    Get Smart says:

    All these global citizens will be living in the UK…


  54. 124
    Brown's shit behavioural psychologist says:

    Brown is perfecting his steeple hand gestures.


  55. 126
  56. 130
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    I’m still waiting to see a liebor leaflet let alone one with the ditherer’s picture on it!


  57. 131
    Anonymous says:

    Bit late to the party, but here:


    Bhavna Joshi; Central Suffolk and North Ipswich


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