April 18th, 2010

The Change Coalition

Imagine it is the afternoon of May 7…

The Tories have received 33% of the popular vote, LibDems 29% and Labour 24%, a strong 6% showing by the BNP concentrated in Labour heartlands has shocked the political system and given the party its first Westminster MP in Stoke, where Labour’s vote split. UKIP’s Nigel Farage has taken Buckingham, after two recounts, by 7 votes.  Ed Balls has lost his Morley and Outwood seat to the Tory hero of election night, Antony Calvert.  The SNP has made strong gains strengthening Alex Salmond’s claims for Scotland to be granted more self determination.

Due to the iniquities of the electoral system Labour is still the largest party in Westminster, just.  Harriet Harman has demanded Gordon Brown resigns and announced her intention to seek the leadership, Miliband hasn’t been seen. Charlie Whelan publicly tweets blame on Mandelson’s electoral strategy and “corrupt Blairites” for Labour’s defeat.  Alastair Campbell is bailed at West London Magistrates’ Court after his live on-screen 3 a.m. drunken assault on Nick Robinson.

After unofficial back-channel communications between Samantha Cameron and her third-cousin at Buckingham Palace all morning, the Queen’s Private Secretary calls the leader of the Conservative Party and asks him to come to the palace.  The Private Secretary then calls Nick Clegg and asks him to come to the palace as well.

In what is the iconic picture of the election, Cameron walks out of his Millbank headquarters along the Thames embankment to 4 Cowley Street where Nick Clegg greets him and together they walk purposefully towards the Mall surrounded by photographers and cameramen as crowds cheer and many ask “which one is which?”

In what were reportedly good natured discussions all morning the terms of a “Change Coalition” had been agreed by 3 pm.  Clegg as expected is Home Secretary and Deputy Prime Minister, Cable is Chancellor, Osborne takes his old sparring partner’s job at Business. Phil Hammond and David Laws are tasked with cutting spending and reforming taxation at the Treasury.  Lord Adonis remains as the government’s Transport Minister, Frank Field returns to the Department for Work and Pensions, both take the Liberal whip. Chris Huhne, ominously for the coalition, chooses to go to the backbench rather than accept cabinet collective responsibility as Defence Minister.

The most difficult horse-trading over the coalition was of course over Europe and electoral reform. Hague went to the FCO much to the relief of the Tory base and Ed Davey becomes the cabinet’s Minister for Constitutional Reform (Douglas Carswell gets a promotion as his deputy with special responsiblity for localism).   The leaders realised that they could not take their respective parties with them if they compromised on either of these two issues.

The average age of the cabinet is now 44, the centre-piece of the Queen’s speech is to be a Great Repeal Bill, undoing 13 years of authoritarian legislation and strengthening civil liberties, restricting the growth of the surveillance and database society. The Big Society reform programme promises to fundamentally re-balance state and society in favour of a smaller more open government.  Cable promises an emergency budget within 30 days signalling tough action on the deficit.  The gilt market hits a 3 year high and the pound rallies 12% on the close.

Norman Tebbit, who was by her bedside, blogs the sad news that Baroness Thatcher has passed away.  Her last words were “Norman, they buried the Labour Party before me.”

Punters on Politics Smarkets says there is a 56% chance of a hung parliament


446 Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Chris Huhne wouldn’t even be on the backbenches, he’s going to lose his Eastleigh seat to the Tories. http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/guide/seat-profiles/eastleigh

    Like

    • 7
      Utopia says:

      When you put it like that Guido, this would be a great election result.

      Like

      • 31
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        ABBA

        Like

        • 41
          Al says:

          Whatever happens, Labour must NOT be in the next government. Act on this priciple.

          Simple as that.

          Like

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Labour must NOT be in any government again – there should be no way back from where they have taken us.

            Like

          • Guidos big fiction says:

            “the centre-piece of the Queen’s speech is to be a Great Repeal Bill, undoing 13 years of authoritarian legislation and strengthening civil liberties, restricting the growth of the surveillance and database society.”

            Yeah right Guido, that’s why Dave has back the worst of them eminating from Europe.

            You are a partisan bullshit artist at best Guido and a subverive state agent at worst.

            Like

          • Sarah the Carer says:

            Oh my God, what am I going to do?.

            Like

          • Budgie says:

            It would be a deserved fate if Labour were as out as you predict, Guido. Fat chance, though, of repealing Labour’s authoritarian laws – Dave Clegg will suddenly find reasons to keep them all. And it will mean we are locked into the authoritarian main government in Brussels. All in all a dreadful result if your predictions come true.

            Like

          • CommonPurpose says:

            No mention of Common Purpose?

            Like

          • you are fighting over 15% of goverment the EU gets the rest says:

            Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Get a divorce, just like you always planned to, as soon as your “hero” left office. Don`t worry Sarah only a few days to go.

            Like

          • Mr Ned says:

            My only slight crumb of comfort from the above would the the idea that IF they could agree on PR, that in the next election after that, a vote for UKIP or the B&P would not be wasted and they would all count!

            That is the only glimmer, and it is a slight one, in the Liberal breakthrough.

            All the talk of scrapping ID cards and the roll-back of the totalitarian tendencies are nonsense as the EU will be re-imposing them.

            Like

          • cogitodexter says:

            Or, of course, home boy Nick does a dirty backroom deal with Bruin and props up Labour to become the worst government in history for the price of a seat on the Cabinet as Sec State for Environment.

            The trouble is, looking at the Lib Dems, it really isn’t possible to work out where they actually stand on most issues.

            http://cogitodexter.wordpress.com/2010/04/18/trying-to-face-every-which-way/

            Like

          • Cameron had a far longer public Honeymoon than the 17 days left but not long enough to help Dave now says:

            Cameron will try and attack Clegg on immigration which may make him sound like Michael Howard but does have the added Bonus for Cameron of shafting Boris who wants an amnesty.

            Cameron is now looking over his shoulder for Boris and Davis because if he can’t turn things around completely for May 6 they’re coming for him.

            If constantly attacking Brown for years hasn’t delivered Cameron the Election and saw the polls slump further & further for the Conservatives then constantly attacking Clegg for a couple of weeks is bound to work.

            CCHQ genius at work.

            Like

          • St George Hawks and Spits says:

            Exactly, Labour should all travel downriver to Traitors’ Gate and be hung, drawn and quartered as an enduring example, starting with Blair.

            Like

    • 9
      Ted Bundy says:

      That my friend would be wonderful news. Almost as good as Balls losing his.
      He is the epitome of the sanctimonious holier then thou Liberal.

      Like

      • 162
        Yorkie says:

        Well done Guidio, it’s avsituation I would welcome. Maybe an odd “portent” for Brown this morning on the Marr show. The guest singer once the interview was over was catastrophically bad, dressed in black, playing a zipher(?) singing out of tune to a backing tape that was either not working or out of time to her performance. To me the “performer” paralled Brown at some psycological level, deeply flawed, tipping into a multi level breakdown. Guido’s scenario maybe not so far fetched.

        Like

        • 187
          Old Archer says:

          Who was it?P J Proby’s sister or some shit like that, Ive seen better bums with cardboard guitar

          Like

          • Samantha Fox says:

            PJ harvey, think she has gone a bit fruit loops recently, used to be very good, she did once cause a scandal with the NME for daring to back foxhunting too.

            Like

          • Dave and his guitar says:

            Is that dave Cameron after the election?

            Like

          • Susie says:

            The Stranglers got it in the neck from the NME for refusing to play Glastonbury when it was sponsored by CND… “CND is backed by the Moscow, so we’re not playing”.

            I’ve always liked PJ and I like the Stranglers.

            Like

    • 22

      hope the Lib Dems win in Liverpool Wavertree and defeat Luciana Berger

      http://londonmuslims.blogspot.com/2010/04/luciana-berger-set-to-lose-liverpool.html

      Like

      • 96
        Ted Bundy says:

        Yes that would be further very good news send Labours Sloane Ranger packing.

        Like

        • 102
          Javelin says:

          Gordon will get first choice to horse trade with the lib dems – because he is still PM. The big question is whether he will give the lib dems permanent power through proportional representation just to stay PM.

          Like

          • Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

            Just been reading about what a disaster the Asquith government was in 1910. They brought in the national insurance in the first place.I have a really bad feeling about Clegg/Cable. It’s just another way of Labour diverting attention away from ” The great postal vote swindle”

            Like

        • 146
          Oh dear Cameron is on the ropes! says:

          Like

          • Samantha Fox says:

            Because of fucking Eddie Izzard? Labours poll share has dropped between 3 to 9% since thursday and Izzards broadcast, well done that tranny.

            Like

          • Some bloke says:

            Fuck off Izzard, you conceited upstart.

            Like

          • free porn for all by 2015 says:

            Time for Eddie to run a marathon in a war zone, the fat twat.

            Like

          • Barnabas Scudamore says:

            hmmmm – off topic but I have serious doubts over Izzard’s claim that he did all those marathons !

            I suppose like most of the Labour party : Just lie and people WILL believe.

            Like

          • Susie says:

            Cambridge is Trannie City… I think there’s some NHS clinic at Addenbrooks where they do their time before the op.

            Like

          • Ran 47 marathons? No way mate,no way. says:

            I have run the London Marathon twice and represented Great Britain in cross country – there is no way – totally no way – that this fat lump ran 47 consecutive marathons.

            No way.

            A little like Brown’s economy with the truth.

            Like

          • Kramer's pal says:

            Not only that but he would have run ther last on to London in under his 5 hours 30 minutes target if he did not wait 20 minutes for his camera crew to catch up with him.

            Like

          • cant hunter says:

            Isn’t Eddie Izzard the ugliest man you ever saw; my wife calls him turd face. And hasn’t he adopted, now he’s a Hollywood actor, the Blair like mid atlantic twang.

            Like

          • Who or what is “Eddie” “Izzard”?

            I am so sorry, I really do not know.

            Like

          • Glow in the dark says:

            I just can’t work out on what possible basis anyone can defend voting New Labour. They started with a surplus, and turned into the biggest smoking crater of a deficit since WW II, and that is AFTER selling all the gold and destroying everyone’s future by raiding the pension funds. Oh, and collaborating with the US who are prepared to go after anyone at all, as long as it diverts the attention from that fact that they nuked the global economy (let’s not forget they had willing collaborators in New Labour).

            Must be a guilt complex or something, maybe they feel earning money isn’t “right”. JK Rowling, well, under New Labour she’d still be sitting in a council house on the dole. But Izzard? He’s supposed to have a brain..

            Nope, can’t see it.

            Like

        • 432
          Desert Rat says:

          What, I thought Luciana was a scouser. Still, so long as she is working class.

          Like

      • 185
        Archie Wedderspoon says:

        I’ve never heard of Luciana Berger. Is she British?

        Like

      • 194
        Old Archer says:

        I bet they regret not putting all my arse Tomlinson up now

        Like

    • 226
      Hunter1 says:

      The truth is hidden and needs to be hunted down.
      http://tinyurl.com/y2d8h5h

      Like

    • 255
      Dave Met says:

      The David Cameron anecdote generator

      http://www.fridgemagnet.org.uk/toys/dave-met.php

      Like

    • 284
      Grilling says:

      Paxman v ‘Far-aaahge or Far-wich?’ Paxman grills UKIP’s Nigel Farage

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/8628035.stm

      Like

    • 305
      pissed off voter says:

      Nick Nick Clegg – Europe.

      Remember parliament’s vote on the EU referendum when Mr Clegg led the Lib Dem walk-out – all the while he was bemoaning the apathy among voters in the UK.

      None of us will forget the Westminster expenses scandal where all three parties were so busy filling their boots that they didn’t notice the economy collapsing around their ears, but who remembers the EU expenses scandal which was so efficiently swept under the carpet.

      It was identified by a Lib Dem who got zero support from his party because it exposed the folly of party policy on the EU.

      refresh your memory. and remember all those internal Westminster enquiries that contrived to keep duck ponds and the like hidden from view …
      http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article5780750.ece

      Like

      • 334
        Cast Iron Cameron's apologist minions says:

        So where in the Conservative Manifesto was the promised Referendum ?

        Like

    • 392
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Who wants to win the general election?

      Like

  2. 2
    Crazy says:

    Crazy innit? The Conservatives have realised that the country wants change and then fail to offer any real change.

    Like

    • 16
      Ted Bundy says:

      Cameron is a fully paid up Bilderburger and member of the EU political elite. He has no interest in offering any real change just a load of empty waffle about a big society whatever that is.

      Like

      • 38
        One party state says:

        He will assett strip what is left of the country for the Bilderberger elites(they already have about 50% of it, he will quango everything so the goverment are no longer in control but rather his NWO chums, the goverment will not be accountable for anything and he will build the EUs hitler youth wing same as obama and rudd are doing and also announced by labour some time ago.

        Labour (NWO) announced most of what dave is doing, because its all NWO.

        Clegg, remember this is the guy that promised the country a referendum and then told his party not to vote on the issue so Labour would win.

        You think you have choice?

        YOU HAVE NO CHOICE

        you have been set up!

        The NWO dont give a shit if Dave gets in Doom gets in or smegg gets in, as the NWO dictate ALL the policies anyway.

        and then we have the media, the media that kept climate gate from you as the NWO own the media, the NWO that never made much more than a whimper on the EU constitution.

        You will vote for an MP but that MP reprecents himself not you, he has to vote with the goverment or they sake him and most are useless shits so wont stand up.

        They would vote for death camps, or even war based on lies, or selling the country out to a fascist foriegn state, oh yes.

        a vote for lib lab con is a vote for the new world order and your continued and growing enslavement.

        Now guido will run on and delete this post as he wants you kept in the dark like the media, wonder why?

        Like

        • 51
          Doctor Mick says:

          BEHIND YOU!!!

          Like

          • Thats MISTER pleb to you! says:

            Its funny cos’ its true.

            Like

          • in front of you says:

            Are you trying to tell me that Dave has not already backed the EU police state measures, such as spying on our computers?

            would you like the proof?

            Or the global warming hoax that will lead to massive taxes?

            would you like the proof?

            behind me is research, behind you is your CCHQ pimp looking for a slot on the gravy train of selling this country down the drain.

            But don’t fear my words will be proven in time in action and the people will never trust ANY of them again – then what? more mass immigration to dilute the people even further? probably it is the trend after all!

            Then perhaps the EU step in and close down democracy as they can?
            the EU have already declared on record they can close parties in the UK down!

            Perhaps, and then Dave, phoney, doom , mandy will all walk of into the sunset with big bags of cash leaving a f*cked soviet state behind them.

            Seems phoney is already there!

            Like

          • NOthing doing says:

            looks like it’s only alky ada fighting it.

            Like

        • 204
          Mrs Crewe says:

          sorry to be thick… what is NWO? And why hasn’t Guido deleted your comment yet?

          Like

        • 272
          Mr Ned says:

          True… It would seem to me (and I am ready to be proved wrong) but the two main parties are definitely NWO (New World Order) wh0res. The Lib Dems are the NWO jokers, so that if the population ever get so sick of the other two that they would elect a third party, then that party will fast track the NWO agenda.

          Lib Dems are Bilderberg wet dream candidates.

          The only bright-side is that there is a very very very slight, tiny opportunity for PR and all votes for UKIP and B*P counting towards getting this country back under control of the British people, instead of the foreign dictators.

          Like

          • Frodo Forks says:

            Guido had his first Libdem troll so now lets spot the NWO trolls, it’s all downhill from here.

            Like

    • 220
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      To the undecided, or everyone else – your guide to voting:

      For a Labour marginal with Tory challenging: Vote Tory
      For a Labour marginal with Liberal challenging: Vote Liberal
      For a Liberal marginal with Tory challenging: Vote Tory
      For any Labour voter who does not want to vote Tory or Liberal: Vote BNP
      For any Liberal voter who does not want to vote Tory: Vote UKIP
      For any Labour voter who still wants to vote Labour: Vote Labour but then spoil your paper
      For any Morley and Outwood voter: Vote for anyone except Labour and enjoy watching something historic on your TV the next morning
      For any voter in Buckingham: Vote for Nigel Farage

      Like

  3. 3
    Matt says:

    Sounds fun. Bring it on.

    Like

    • 20
      Dick the Prick says:

      Definately agree Matt – fuck them all. If they have to do some work occassionally then all the better. As long as Labour gets absolutely screwed, natch.

      Like

      • 30
        Bill D'Sarse says:

        +1

        So long as that fat useless fucker Brown is out and Labour and Unite implode, I’m happy. I’d be happy with a pigs head on a stick in No10, but failing that, this’ll do me.

        Like

      • 121
        barefootcontessa says:

        Yes, as long as Newlabour get good and properly screwed. The boy wonder Cleggover will soon be found out. First, get rid of Brown.

        Like

      • 145
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        A vote for Clegg is a vote for Brown whichever way you cut it. I cannot see the electorate voting for the EU policies and stance of the Lib/Dems. To say nothing of their immigration policy. This is all media driven hype. In the real world its a complete storm in a teacup.

        Like

  4. 4
    Manji Dogg says:

    You forgot to mention the general election on September 2nd.

    Like

  5. 5
    Tom FD says:

    If you want to know why this would be a disaster… look at Birmingham City Council. Tories and Lib Dems are not compatible. Coalitions never work.

    Like

  6. 6
    Em says:

    This would be alright.

    However the Libidiots on facefuck seem to be under the delusion that the Libs are a far left party. All sorts of “Smash the Tory scum” stuff going on.

    I for one would prefer a Lib-Tor.

    Anything but Labour. ANYTHING.

    Like

    • 262
      Susie says:

      Anything but CABLE as Chancellor.

      Like

      • 286
        Em says:

        To be honest I’d rather have Darling as Chancellor.

        Darling defects to the Liberals to take up post of Chancellor in a Libservative government.

        That would be GREAT.

        Imagine how pissed off Gordon would be.

        I would pay my life savings to be a fly on the wall in the Brown bunker when Sarah delivers him the news.

        Like

        • 371
          Goon McDoom says:

          Darling as Chancellor! How do you know he’s up to it?

          He’s had absolutely no experience in this key government post

          Like

      • 388
        Nick Clegg says:

        I agree with Susie.

        Like

      • 410
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Hold on a minute Susie!!!!! You surely do not mean anything? McBroon as Chancellor again?

        Like

    • 270
      ShoutsAtTheTV says:

      Quite.

      Have to think that the ‘all-things-to-all-people’ party will find the game a little harder once what they finally have their bluff called.

      But let’s get a system which is reflective of what the population thinks; smash the ‘red rosette on a donkey’ safe seats (if this means PR, so be it). The Libs will be drunk on power for a while, but they’ll wake up with a hang over and then normal service will be resumed.

      Like

    • 288

      They are a far left party!!! They are for unilateral disarmament and giving the UK over to the EUSSR as well as bulding a windmill every 500mtrs.

      They are so far left they are LOONY!

      Like

      • 315
        Susie says:

        They’ll be worse than Labour. Every town I’ve lived near with a LibDem council has been destroyed…

        Try Cambridge — the outskirts and most of the inskirts are permanently jammed with traffic due to the one way systems, so many traffic lights/cycle lane notices you can barely see the road, once you’ve got there and want to park and are not up to a 200 meter walk — just forget it.

        Like

      • 348
        david catamaran says:

        your blog is shit

        Like

      • 374
        Lightweight Cast Iron says:

        “They are a far left party!!! “

        They are indeed.

        The quickest way to get labeled a fascist is to disagree with a liberal.

        These illiberal hoons need close watching

        Like

  7. 8
    Sarah Tweet says:

    has written about food and gardens in Observer Food Monthly published in Observer (funnily enough) tomorrow too http://bit.ly/czu9Ph

    Like

  8. 10
    Squeaking Pip says:

    Balls starts his career as a Cbeebies TV presenter.

    Like

  9. 11
    Quantrill says:

    And the war drags on………………..

    Like

  10. 12
    Anonymous says:

    dull life u lead Guido…. Bow Street Magistrates been history for years and years and years

    Like

  11. 13
    Sunonmars says:

    Why is Clegg on TV banging on about the EU…major vote loser if he keeps that up.

    Tories need to nail him on that one quick.

    Like

    • 50
      all the same says:

      Mmmmm but it doesnt seem to bother you that no mainstreme press sanctioned party offers and alternative to the EUSSR, how conservative are you when dave will be their puppet.

      There is nothing conservative about the conservatives, the days of the NWO allowing our politicians to dictate home policy aas long as they got all the cash are over, they now have their over riding political body in the EU – they want it all.

      and a tosspot like you will do anything to support what amounts to the destruction of our democracy and the practical death of `your party`.

      You sad twat.

      Like

      • 76
        Sunonmars says:

        i see the mental asylum is missing its chief patient. Fuckwit.

        Like

        • 105
          propaganda blog says:

          Perhaps you should return then?

          Now tell me what you know about the trilateral commision its aims and its members? as well as how it connects with the bilderberg group, the federal reserve, the IMF, the global warming hoax and the tax and control system that goes with it, seeing as you are so informed and of sound mind.

          i look forward to your in-depth, informed reply.

          or perhaps not!

          Like

      • 84
        Al says:

        ‘EU Dave’, the best result that can be achieved is getting rid of Labour. Channel your swivel eyed anger into more productive pursuits.

        You’ll live longer.

        Like

        • 117
          EU Dave says:

          Thanks for the condescending claptrap that the sheeple parrot, do some real research beyond what the sun tells you, then and then report back.

          after xfactor is it?

          Live longer? yeah tell that to all the millions who died at the hands of other dictatorial totalitarian undemocratic systems!

          Which happens to be supported by Dave, Doom and Smegg, all who’s close associates have conections to the NWO groups listed, now tell me also seeing as their is little chance of you actually doing some research, what is small state and conservative about the monster tax eating beurocratic EUSSR that makes 85% of our laws, let alone anti democratic!

          Now get your blue rince all set nice and toddle off down to the polling station to vote for 15% of a goverment!

          Like

          • I hate to piss on your chips, but there is a big difference between doing research and parroting any old clap-trap you happen to have read on David Icke (or whichever nutob site you normally frequent).

            So rich and powerful people meet on a regular basis to discuss future trends? Tell us something we didn’t know.

            So the EU is a profoundly antidemocratic organisation that we would be better off leaving? Tell us something we didn’t know.

            There is no need for conspiracies – all that there is, is bureaucracies behaving as they normally do, and various interest groups jockeying for position as they always have done and always will do.

            Anything else is rampant paranoia – not a good way to lead a fruitful and contemplative life.

            Yes, the people with influence want to keep and extend it. Yes, the EU is inimical to our liberties and our interests as a free people. That is all we need to know to act properly – anything else is lunatic hoohah that is best left to the uneducated and the Americans.

            Like

          • Frodo Forks says:

            well cleared up nostic fellow

            Like

          • willfully ignorant says:

            “The Paragnostic says:
            April 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm
            I hate to piss on your chips, but there is a big difference between doing research and parroting any old clap-trap you happen to have read on David Icke (or whichever nutob site you normally frequent).”

            Youre not pissing in anything other than your bed, exposing your ignorance and even more pathetic strawman tactics. Ike, sorry dont pay attention to the guy, i can do my own research as said taken from their own papers, books and stated aims, following the connections between the groups!

            How many direct quotes would you like me to list stating their aims and their conspiracy, to subvert nations and they certainly have the wealth to buy any corrupt politician.

            “So rich and powerful people meet on a regular basis to discuss future trends? Tell us something we didn’t know.”

            Do you think a corrupt treasonous press is healthy in a democracy? clearly not seeing as we now have little in the way of a democracy with the press remaining rather silent on the EU takeover and here i think we have the reason why -

            “We are grateful to The Washington Post, The New York Times, Time Magazine and other great publications whose directors have attended our meetings and respected their promises of discretion for almost forty years. It would have been impossible for us to develop our plan for the world if we had been subject to the bright lights of publicity during those years. But, the work is now much more sophisticated and prepared to march towards a world government. The supranational sovereignty of an intellectual elite and world bankers is surely preferable to the national autodetermination practiced in past centuries.” David Rockefeller, founder of the Trilateral Commission, in an address to a meeting of The Trilateral Commission, in June, 1991.”

            Now back to the secret meetings, first it is against the law to meet in secret with foriegn heads of state for US politicians and for good reason, it can lead to plots and conflicts of interests that do not get scrutinised and their is no public record of what was discussed at the events, remember these are our politicians, payed by us, who should be accountable to us who only have the position and power that they do because we granted them it, they should not be meeting other nations heads and powerfull business interests in secret.

            Remember the Business people involved here control the national and world banks, federal reserve for one, these banks are their private companys, they excert a massive level of influence that should be held under the spotlight, the same group of banks that now own our debt who we pay interest too.

            Banker Nathan Mayer Rothschild “I care not what puppet is placed upon the throne of England to rule the Empire on which the sun never sets. The man who controls Britain’s money supply controls the British Empire, and I control the British money supply.”

            Yes the politicians WE pay for and elect meet in secret (no record of what has been discussed and often little account of who was there) with a group whos stated aims is to subvert politicians to commit treason and undermine our nation state.

            Why would anyone be concerned about that?

            Er perhaps the resulting undemocratic EU is why!

            Where the media propagandised main parties offer us no alternatives,
            even though the alternatives are popular and in synch with conservative ideology, So who has subverted our democracy?

            influence, manipulate and control is the game subverting the democratic process using their wealth and influence such as the media as described by lets say getting all sides of the political spectrum to not offer us a choice on Europe even though the people demanded it and were set against further integration with Europe, It also happens many of the politicians that attended their meetings are also the most pro EU, with the EU being one of their stated aims!

            Let me give you some idea of the subversion, power and treason, In Paddy Assclowns book in his reference to when the Tories at the Bilderberg meeting were mocking Thatcher over her resistance to the EU and were happy to try and remove our finanincial independance by agreeing with the bilderbergers to tie us to the Euro. So here we have the Bilderberg group trying to use its influence to undermine our politicians against our elected prime minister.

            Had this been reported in the press or reported to Thatcher, it is possible this lot would have been sacked and potentially put on trial for treason should any PM had ever stood by the country and its people, rather than side with this corrupt subversive group.

            Unfortunately it seems Maggie later sold out to them or was conned by them also and assett stripped the country at their request.

            When such plots are being orchestraited by people with insane levels of money and power i believe the people have a right to know. just take a look at some of the people that have been the most vocal about such things as the EU, people who have been said members of the secretive group, with many riches and powerful positions to folow, well rewarded for their treason. corporate fat cat jobs, high political rankings etc, etc.

            secondly these people have massive finanicial influence over us and other nations through the international banking system, these meetings can be seen as a means to manipulate and subvert our political system through bribery and corruption as well as a corrupt media owned by the same people. In fact David rockafella thanked the media for their part in keeping their treasonous aims of a world goverment secret from the public.

            “So the EU is a profoundly antidemocratic organisation that we would be better off leaving? Tell us something we didn’t know.”

            I am telling you how we got there, something far more important!

            “There is no need for conspiracies – all that there is, is bureaucracies behaving as they normally do, and various interest groups jockeying for position as they always have done and always will do.”

            The EU was a conspiracy from the word go, I have given you just a small example of why, I could give you page after page and list after list and quote after quote, even Ed Heath stated before he died that it was a trick, a conspiracy. They needed a conspiracy to get it in place and they need a conspiracy now to make sure their is no political choice.

            “Anything else is rampant paranoia – not a good way to lead a fruitful and contemplative life.”

            Yes like the global warming hoax that propagandised by the bankers and their backers and thenwas covered up in the press when it was exposed as a big faud yet is still going to tax us and the tax will be paid directly to this banker group – all coincidence though eh!
            perhaps if you were not a ignorant sheep or a party whore you would lead a more fruitful and contemplated life, rather than making an arse off yourself on psuedo political blogs, got any more straw men or patronising nonsense to entertain us with?

            “Yes, the people with influence want to keep and extend it. Yes, the EU is inimical to our liberties and our interests as a free people. That is all we need to know to act properly – anything else is lunatic hoohah that is best left to the uneducated and the Americans.”

            yep, willfully ignorant!

            How sad.

            Like

          • climate hoax, all party consensus on the lie but who gains? says:

            Like

          • Atlas shrugged says:

            willfully ignorant says:
            April 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm

            Well done my friend you have it all perfectly sorted.

            The real point, as you say is that this has been done in SECRET, while our entire press has deliberately missed the whole lot from start to finish.

            These people are not just liars they are dangerous traitors to the wishes of the entire population of Europe, and should be exposed as such. It is our media more then even our politicians that have let us all down for the sake of a few under-aged whores or little boys back sides.

            Scum the lot of them from PT to RP to NR, from the Guardian, to the Telegraph to the Daily Mirror to the Daily Mail, from Sky to ITN to Channel 4 to The BBC, and all the way back again.

            They have added condescending insult to our intelligence to our permanent injury.

            It is clear that we can not get anywhere near our political elites, it must therefore be our media, and especially the BBC that must feel the full force of our anger. In the most peaceful of manners you understand. Otherwise we will be digging our own graves, beyond any doubt whatsoever.

            Like

          • @wilfully ignorant – so you back up your paranoia with two old and widely circulated quotations favoured by NWO conspiracy theorists, plus a vague paraphrase of Paddy Ashdown which merely points out that there was a difference between the Tory Europhiles and Thatcher.

            Most of us here know that the EU is bad news for both economic and personal freedoms – we don’t need to believe in a conspiracy for that to be the case.

            Most of us know that the banking system is inherently corruptible, based as it is on the creation of imaginary money through credit, and that the greedy and short sighted people who infest that system need good regulation to minimise their excesses. I’m sure that the senior members of the banking dynasties would like to see themselves as the masters of the world, but so long as we ensure that we choose politicians who aim to minimise the influence of capital, there’s no need to worry unduly there either.

            Most of us also saw through the global warming scam as soon as the carbon trading scheme was announced – but the movers and shakers in that are a different bunch of snake oil salesmen, not generally from the old banking interests and the Bilderbergers, but products of the UN and EU bureaucracies and the ‘liberal elite’, with aims quite different to those of the bankers. Carbon trading is effectively the creation of another source of imaginary money, quite separate from the fiat money banking scam and controlled by other interests. It’ll be interesting to see which interests come out on top now that the UEA emails and some proper reviews of the IPCC propaganda have blown the lid on the underlying lies, but the main point is to ensure that we do not continue to introduce and enact legislation based on the half-baked product of geography lecturers and railway engineers.

            See – it is possible to come to the conclusion that these things are bad for us based on what they do, how they tax us, legislate against our freedoms, cause us economic pain through unregulated stupidity. It’s not necessary to believe in NWO conspiracies to see how the inevitable result of unregulated banking, disinformation and rampant bureaucratic empire building is harmful to us as people.

            Away to your conspiracy sites and stock up on tinned food and weapons if you must, but there really is no need to be so paranoid – just watchful.

            Like

        • 125
          Samantha Fox says:

          ******* SKY NEWS – Clegg just confirmed the Lib Dems would offer an in/out referendum on the EU if Elected*********

          Like

    • 158
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      The eletorate will nail Clegg on Europe. A totally wacky policy given how euro and EU sceptic the country is. As a country where would we be right now if we had signed up to the Euro? In the sewer.

      Like

  12. 14
    Audax says:

    Echoes – Anything but Labour. ANYTHING.

    Love the last line, but if they are going to bury Labour, make sure they put a bloody great stake through its heart before nailing the coffin shut. Best to be certain, after all Blair managed to resurrect the monster once.

    Like

    • 53
      What choice? says:

      They are all the same

      1. EUSSR
      2. illegal wars
      3. global warming hoax
      4. immigration

      all the same – why vote at all, it makes no difference if your are voting for these Eurofascist puppetsi

      Like

      • 69
        Number 6 says:

        Agreed. Sod them all UKIP poster should be fuck them all for that is what everyone I speak to says. By the way the remake of the Prisoner is shite. Be seeing you (not Brown I hope).

        Like

    • 124
      barefootcontessa says:

      Agree, strongly!

      Like

  13. 15
    Jac says:

    Ah the forecast of some optimism. Frankly Cameron is my choice simply because I am an absolute card carrying Euro Skeptic, believing we’d be better off not as integrated but operating as Switzerland does. Ultimately, these coalitions do not last – see USSR, USA/South America and other equally big time pacts.

    I like England, I prefer England to Great Britain, and that’s without any of the old bias toward other parts of the UK – surely we all have the right of self determination, not just Wales, NI and Scotland?

    Like

    • 62
      EU Dave says:

      “Ah the forecast of some optimism. Frankly Cameron is my choice simply because I am an absolute card carrying Euro Skeptic”

      You are a tory CCHQ c*nt and Dave is a card carrying Europuppet, first thing he did when elected leader on webcameron was to declare his undying love for the EUSSR and said he would not give us a referendum, Eurosceptic huh, you must think we were born yesterday. Also the Tories have backed every police state measure the EU has uttered.

      Everyone knows who to vote for to get out of socialist totalitarian Europe and it aint Davey boy.

      By the way, the EUSSR have the power to do anything they like, we gave them that power with the unmandated lisbon contrick.

      Now run along you subversive shit arse.

      Like

    • 128
      barefootcontessa says:

      Strongly agree.

      Like

    • 156
      Budgie says:

      Jac said: “… we’d be better off not as integrated …”. Then don’t vote for Cameron, because he has never said that. What he did say was that future EU laws should be subject to some form of UK control. Apart from that being wishful thinking, it is funny that the Tory party always seem to accept the level of integration we have just got to.

      Like

  14. 17
    lolol says:

    That is scary,Cambo and twat Clegg think I would rather just stick a pin in the ballot paper to pick who to vote for,but I think I will just stick with Ukip or the left wing party who shall not be named but who have just been taken to court to change their constitution,so what do we have mix yellow and blue and we have a dirty green, not much hope for this country then.

    Like

  15. 18
    NICK CLEGG-over and his band of GLIB-DUMBS says:

    We as a party will no longer be able to deliver any of our manifesto promises
    as you fucking idiots went and elected us

    Like

  16. 21
    RichYork says:

    Mmmm.

    Imagine how that story would run with Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg walking up to Parliament.

    Like

  17. 23
    Sunonmars says:

    Did Clegg just “jump the shark” and do an in/out on the EU. Now we are in major flip flop territory.

    Like

    • 56
      The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

      Put any LibDem under pressure(even the Sainted and Thrice Blessed St Vince of Twickenham) and they fold…that’s what needs to be done over the next three weeks…make the electorate realise what electing the LibDems would mean for the euro;defence’immigration,europe and law and order

      Like

      • 61
        6% says:

        And who is the party with the lead on those important issues?

        Like

        • 89
          Floating Voters Survey Panel says:

          We don’t know but we’re all voting for that NICE Nick Clegg here…………. Any one for a hobknob with their skinny latte ?

          Like

    • 65
      Captain Quark says:

      It’s in their manifesto – http://www.libdems.org.uk/siteFiles/resources/PDF/Pocket%20Guide%20April%202010.pdf.

      Somebody at CCHQ take note – if you offered similar then you’d walk this election.

      They might well be a bunch of clueless idiots, but loads of people want an in/out EU referendum and – what with all the CleggMania – might just be tempted to “lend” their vote to get one.

      Time to pack.

      Like

  18. 25
    Tachybaptus says:

    Restoration of civil liberties from that bunch? Dream on ….

    Like

  19. 26
    lolol says:

    Jeez Guido that is bloody scarey,so we are getting a bit closer to the civil unrest that’s been predicted or talked about, well mentioned on tv,blue and yellow= dirty green,we are in deep doo doo.

    Like

    • 34
      lolol says:

      Wierd hit submit button but it said I had made a duplicate comment on the first comment,so I looked nothing in sight so I made another one lo and behold both ????????

      Like

  20. 29
    egregious says:

    Hope Brown gets in.

    He can then do his own dirty work for 6 months – putting up the tax and sacking 30% of public workers. then riots and a resignation. New elections in the autumn, by then everyone will have shown their hand?

    Tories working with Liberals, come off it

    Like

  21. 32
    Tulip says:

    Too much strong cheese before bedtime.

    Like

  22. 39
    Nick2 says:

    Alastair Campbell is bailed at West London Magistrates’ Court after his live on-screen 3 a.m. drunken assault on Nick Robinson.

    The most amusing thing that I’ve read here this week!

    Like

  23. 42
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Guido that’s the guiness talking.

    Emigrate before it’s too late.

    The pound and the stock market will collapse if it’s a hung parliament.

    Like

  24. 44
    6% says:

    Thats nice of you Guido

    Like

  25. 45
    Nash says:

    Great article!!

    Like

  26. 46
    Droopy Drawers says:

    Have you had a stressful weekend??

    Its a peculiar fantasy, but thats all it is. On election day there will be a mass bottling out by the electorate. Labour will squeak back in.

    Cameron has not pulled it off. He never ‘sealed the deal’ because he’s been too timid; too worried about being sneered at as ‘the same old tory party’. Because he’s been so bland, he’s let the momentum slip and now people are bored of him and view him as being as stale as Brown. If he hadn’t pushed for the debates he may have had a chance to win, but now, with Clegg in the ascendant, the Tory vote has split and Labour will get in again.

    If he is to win he needs to play the ‘Vote Clegg, get Brown’ line as much as possible. How about another poster of a smiling Brown alongside a smiling Clegg with the line “I agree with Nick”. Or perhaps just the line “Get a room!”

    Like

  27. 48
    Tickle Duster says:

    Fantastic: an orange book & big society fusion to rebuild UK plc, no more UKSSR.

    I love it, bring it on!!!!

    Like

  28. 49
    They're all smug, sneering, Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Susanna Reid whom I wish to bum very much says:

    Yes great fantasy from a mind clearly marinated in Guinness.
    However back in the real world, unless the Tory party polls 40%+, the Lib Dem rise condemns Britain to five more years of a spendaholic Scotch sociopath, and his gang of thugs, fraudsters, bullies, liars and sodomites.

    Like

  29. 54
    Labour are cracking up - yipeee says:

    I am so glad that I got the hell out of it after Labour won the last election – Fishing this morning and Golf this afternoon – heaven on earth in New Zealand!

    But I still have the right to vote in the UK! – Sorry Gordon!!

    Listen, in any crisis situation 10% of the people panic, 80% wait about to be told what to do and 10%, who are those who read and are informed, take ownership and lead- please take my advice; get out while you can, you are in the eye of the storm and it’s going to get real bad real soon.

    Like

    • 62
      UK runs out of Kiwi Fruit(Official) says:

      “……….heaven on earth in New Zealand!”

      Make the most of it the Cloud of Icelandic Doom still persistently hovering over the UK is fast approaching New Zealand from the North West

      Like

    • 70
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      Bloody immigrants, says the Kiwi. Come over here but refuse to integrate and still keep up their voting rights in Britain. Send ‘em back.

      Like

    • 137

      “Fishing this morning and Golf this afternoon”

      Must be rather tiring.

      Like

      • 165
        Some bloke says:

        Yes, and its full of know it all Kiwis.

        Like

      • 399
        Labour are cracking up - yipeee says:

        Yep my vote helped kick Labour out in NZ and my UK vote will help kick labour out in the UK – and there are some 200,000 of us in Oz and NZ who can still vote in the UK!

        Like

    • 331
      I am cracking up - yipeee! says:

      The Conservatives falling behind the Lib Dems means victory is close at hand.

      Like

  30. 55
    ALTERBOYS ANNUALLY says:

    Your True Labour Party

    http://thetruthseeker.co.uk/article.asp?ID=12246

    Like

    • 218
      Prove it says:

      so since this came to light every cop who knows about it has joined in a conspiracy to protect them? I don’t buy it.

      Like

  31. 57
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    If this were to happen I’d be happier than a tory ripping a foxes legs off, mandelson with a rent boy and mark Oaten in a cess pit combined. Especially the part where Bruin and Balls lose all relevance for ever more.

    Like

  32. 58
    Squeaking Pip says:

    Alternatively….

    Clegg and Brown are summoned to the palace, Brown continues as PM (continuing his ‘umelected’ status), Clegg is at the Home Office, Field is Deputy PM, Cable as Chancellor, Harman pipes up and is given International Development, the volcanic ash cloud worsens and no-one can escape.

    Like

    • 73
      Clegg:Is he the new Obama or the new Churchill ? You decide ! Phone lines now open. says:

      Constitutionally you are correct…Brown ill still be PM after an election unless another party wins overall majority(no longer likely to be the Tories)and will have first go at forming an administration.Will Cleggie resist the title of Deputy PM,Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and Home Secretary and will St Vince resist the blandishment of becoming Chancellor ?

      Like

      • 95
        Francis Futurama says:

        Not the new Obama or the new Churchill but the new Diana… hopefully. Has he got a Paris trip lined up soon?

        Like

        • 358
          Nick Clegg...future PM says:

          This is not a moment for sound bites but I feel the hand of destiny on my shoulder

          Like

  33. 59
    Body Language says:

    Gordon on Marr looks like he has been told to keep his hands together

    Like

    • 60
      Anonymous says:

      After the first two minutes he’s forgotten and they are flailing free

      Like

    • 92
      Nick2 says:

      Just switched on to Marr & Brown’s already stated two assertions of unconditional support for the military followed in the next breaths by two partial retractions. God help the SAS!

      Like

      • 198

        I know where he gets his statistics from: http://bit.ly/9iHN7S.

        That, and the earpiece in his ear with Mandleson saying “breathe in …, breathe out …”

        Like

        • 389
          Snotsicle says:

          Can we hack the earpiece?
          “Breathe out, hold, hold, don’t worry about that blue colour – it makes you look regal, hold, breathe out more, oh hang on for a minute – there’s someone at the door”

          Like

  34. 64
    garethwebber says:

    Think you are being way too optimistic, although I agree that this would be a good outcome.

    Like

  35. 67
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    If Clegg tried this it would split the LibDems. That’s closer to the truth. How about a centre-right coalition between the Tories, the Labour party Blairites and the right of the LibDems?

    Like

    • 79
      The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

      I can’t see that Clegg will stay in any government too long be it Lib/Lab or Lib/Con.His grassroots will rebel the minute the party has to vote on any contentious issue(raising taxes,defence;immigration or law and order) that goes against their far left liberal values.Any coalition will breakdown within a matter of weeks

      Like

  36. 68
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    mornin ar- moniker !
    have a look at posts 47 and 61
    the real truth about the labour party

    Like

    • 138
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Morning Frankie, thought I recognised 6%.

      TaT has had a number of extreme attacks of projectile verbal diarrhoea, have you seen the excrement swilling about all over the place? Smell it? You can lean against it!

      I think I may need your help. According to best medical advice, one should apply sudden force to the patient’s nose, groin and stomach simultaneously and, after having repeated this several times, push them in front of the 07:45 to King’s Cross.

      Like

      • 197
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        lol !Yes have you looked at those two posts which are now renumbered 43 and 55 i think MI6 changed the numbers to put you off the scent ?

        Like

      • 228
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        mornin ar-moniker yes i see Tat king of the trolls is still about now directing his totally un funny childish crap comments at Guido under the name “spiedo shorts” or something like that !
        he was kicked off once under the name “speedo shorts” for doing exactly the same thing he is also about under other people’s name as well
        sad isn’t it !

        Like

      • 373
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Frankie, at this level we become disembodied and incorporeal. Not even a toenail cutting recently associated with the body politic. I spied Spido and gave him a good kicking. I also looked at your posts and was rather stunned by what they revealed (providing they were not renumbered a second time!). Dirty game politics. Just going out to put my waders on before I apply the Dynorod treatment.

        Like

  37. 71
    Scan says:

    …or it’ll just be Neo-Labour Lite

    Like

  38. 75
    Dack Blog says:

    Gord raising the ‘jokey laugh’ stakes on qs about the debate. Someone needs to sew his pockets up – when his hands are in them. He really needs to stop doing those ‘fantasy strangulation’ gestures.

    Like

  39. 78
    If_Only_Politics_was_that_Simples says:

    Very nice and imaginative piece.
    Who says this blog is just a load of grumpy old Conservative men wanting to rant at the pathetic state of things in the Uk?
    Meanwhile the gurner is waffling away on the Andrew Marr show with his ridiculous half-smile that scares the kiddies.

    Like

    • 134
      barefootcontessa says:

      He’s had his hands cleaned up, must be proud of his touched up nails, he was waving them about a lot, or is that to hide his hideous facial expressions when he’s trotting out all that garbage!

      Like

  40. 80
    Dack Blog says:

    ‘Banks are a risk to the economy’. You’ve changed your tune, Gordon. He sounds like the dumpee in a relationship, suddenly seeing everything that first attracted them as a negative.

    Brushing off the Clegg question big time.

    Like

    • 139
      barefootcontessa says:

      He’s ditched Prudence for Nicholarse.

      Like

    • 434
      Desert Rat says:

      I thought it was Scottish Banks (Morons best buddies) that were risky, the other banks were not bailed out (Lloyds were tied in to BOS by Moron, so don’t count).

      Like

  41. 81
    jeremy james says:

    And pigs may fly, but I’d vote for that. Positively.

    Like

  42. 82
    Raving Loon says:

    And then we woke up and it was all a dream…

    The NWO will win the election, you can put your house on it!

    Like

  43. 83
    Mr Majestyk says:

    If Liebore lose, I predict McDoom doing a Budd Dwyer. For those of you who don’t know your political history, Dwyer was an American politician who called a press conference and shot himself in front of a reporters and news cameras. The footage is on Youtube for those of you with a morbid curiosity. Watch it and then imagine how fucking sweet it would be if Jonah came out of No10 on May 7 to make his farewell speech and instead blows his brains out? It’s the least the fat, autistic, psychopathic Hunt owes the country after what he’s done.

    Like

  44. 85
    Miss Use says:

    GB on telly now asking the presenter who’s best at this and that.
    I still agree with Gordon though after the other night and totally agree like everybody else it’s Nick.

    Like

  45. 86
    Dack Blog says:

    ‘Nobody is as concerned as I am about our troops.’ Errr… maybe people with family over there?

    Like

    • 154

      I think he meant “nobody is more concerned than me that they are going to mutiny, storm Downing Street, and hang me from a lampost before declaring martial law”

      Like

  46. 88
    Have you been smoking volcano dust or something? says:

    Guido’s prediction – too comforting to ever be true. A hallucination derived from despair.

    I will take the first flight out of here, even if it means flying directly over Jokeylkaupthingicesave.

    Like

  47. 93
    Ivor Hadinuff says:

    I have a great Idea for the cons and reds to come back from the dead and try to win the election.

    Why not declare war on someone and pretend it’s legal or just tell everybody it’s popular!

    Like

    • 221
      The Court of Public Opinion says:

      Don’t forget, after lying about the starting the war itself you MUST not pay for it, just hand out the bare minimum to keep our troops pointless deaths in the low hundreds (quite acceptable to whitehall) and then later when there is an enquiry lie about your underfunding too.

      Like

  48. 97
    That was a Party Election Broadcast on behalf of the Liberal Democrats says:

    Wassup muthafuckaz? Me and my crew gonna be voting for that bad muthafucka MC Clegg. I ain’t down with that punk ass bitch they call Brown. Damn right he’s Brown! He looks like a faggot! Yo. Check this shit. If that punk bitch Brown and his gang of punk muthafuckaz win, we gonna whoop their asses. Glock glock, bitch! Aint down with no Labour shit. They can kiss my ass! So listen up, muthafuckaz. Vote Lib Dem or we’ll waste you bitches. Now suck my dick, ho.

    Like

    • 107
      Francis Futurama says:

      I thought you’d been denied a visa.

      Like

    • 243
      concrete pump says:

      What ho homies! Crazy Dave Cameron iz speaking wiv you from da, like, south side. Da south side of me house, innit. So what me wanna speak wit’ you about, like, is dat we iz got a problem in dis country, know wha’ I iz sayin’? Dat problem is Mr Gordon Brown, who is Scotch and a battyman, innit. He ‘az made like a mess and dat of our roads and ting. So what I iz wantin’ to arks you, cos you iz people what like cars and dat, iz what you iz wantin’ me to say that iz goin’ to make you vote for me and dat. Cuz it don’t matter wha’ it be and that, I iz goin’ to say it, ya knaaa, I iz gonna like reprazent for you. You want da roads to be like mended and dat? You want like no more of dem speedy camera shit? You want like better flowin’ motorways and dat? I iz like ready to promise like anyting you want, ya knaaa? And den when I iz like totally like livin’ in Downing Street and dat, I iz hactually going to like totally ignore you and pretend to be like interested in da environment and shit. Ya get me? Oh blast, one of the ponies has trampled into the breakfast room. Ta-ra. Sniff Petrol.

      Like

  49. 98

    You missed the bit about a tranq dart-ed Gordon being wheeled out of No. 10 leather-strapped to a sack trolley and wearing an anti-bite icehockey mask. Sarah left by the back door deep in conversation with Fiona Shackleton and the editor of Hello!

    Like

  50. 101
    Ivor Hadinuff says:

    GB wants to serve he’s just said on the TV. I think he should serve a term with Tony and Ali for that illegal war.

    Like

  51. 103
    Samantha Fox says:

    What the fuck has happened to PJ Harvey, that was awful!!

    Like

  52. 104
  53. 106
    Postal Vote says:

    Keep on dreaming about conservative-led government, but it won’t happen.

    Labour has a huge and hard core vote, existing of public sector employees and means-tested benefit recipients. If you assume 25% of those net tax recipients not to vote labour and 30% not to vote but each having a relative who also votes labour, you have more than 7 million votes for labour already (they got 9.5 million votes in 2005). Look at Hastings, where there is a seat with a 2,000 labour majority. The public sector employs more than 30% of the workforce in Hastings.

    And then there are the postal votes. It is not far-fetched to expect some 5,000 postal votes in each of the constituencies where labour is in contention and, dare I suggest it, most of these votes will be for labour. So, with about 15,000 votes on average per constutency, labour may get almost one-third of its votes via de postal route.

    Finally, expect a small bounce for labour on 23 April when first quarter GDP figures will be released, showing 0.4% or 0.5% growth (never mind that the debt expressed in pounds will have grown more than the economy).

    If libdems play along with labour to introduce Alternative Vote, the conservative party will be history soon. Don’t forget that no matter how bad Brown has been, much of his core vote is also addicted to debt, something Cameron has to keep in mind when he sets out his stall.

    PS I’m a neutral non-uk based observer and big Thatcher fan in case you think I’m a labour or libdem party blogger …

    Like

  54. 108
    Chunga says:

    Oh god Guido, you’re making me hot and bothered. That would be bloody beautiful!

    Like

  55. 109

    Pardon me for pointing it out, but there’s surely a gaping hole in this scenario. There is no need for Gordon Brown, as leader of the biggest single party in the house of commons, to resign as prime minister, and until he does, there is no vacancy at No. 10 that the Queen is at liberty to fill by inviting Cameron to form a coalition government with the LibDems. Brown would be free to form a minority government — perhaps inviting the LibDems to hold three or four Cabinet posts including Cable as Chancellor — and, when he has done so, to meet the House for the debate on the Queen’s Speech (written of course by Brown). The Queen’s Speech is full of LibDem-friendly goodies, including a mild form of PR. A frantic Dave Cameron pleads with the LibDems to come over to him and together with the Tories defeat Brown in the vote on the Queen’s Speech. Nick Clegg is tempted but Chris Huhn and Cable flatly refuse and make it clear that they are happier with Labour now that Labour is promising more concessions to their point of view than the Tories. The LibDems vote with Brown to defeat a Tory ‘no confidence’ motion and the newly vamped Brown government settles down to resume governing the country. The Queen is spared the agony of having to make difficult, loaded decisions. Everyone is happy — except the Tories. Oh, dear. How sad for the Tories.

    Like

    • 115

      Knock knock
      Who’s there?
      The IMF
      The IMF who?
      The IMF who want the purse – thankyou. tear up all this waffle spending plans crap..this is the manifesto now… 15% CUTS ACROSS EVERY DEPARTMENT OVER TWO YEARS..

      Sounds harsh? It was only what happened the last time they were here.

      Like

      • 182
        Peasant says:

        Cameron is already promising 15% cuts on everything other than the NHS. If you read their fucking manifesto you’ll know that already (or were you expecting your RSVP to their invitation to be personally answered by Dave?).

        By the way, the MoD will take a huge cut and the odds are on that the RAF will effectively cease to be. The Army will take over the responsibility of flying helicopters (which will make them happy because the RAF just get in the way) and the Royal Navy already have the Fleet Air Arm, although it will be unclear what they will fly those planes from. The RAF will be scaled back to being the “UK air defence force”.

        Like

    • 135
      QWERTY says:

      You’re fucking bonkers!!! Do you really think McFag is going to have anyone as Chancellor other than Balls?

      I don’t think the Limp Dems will go into coalition with Liebour and remember it’s quite possible that Liebour and the Limp Dems combined may not have an overall majority at Westminster.

      As I posted below, McQueer won’t want to cut public spending and there will be loads of UNITE backed Liebour MPs at Westminster who won’t allow one penny of public spending cuts, so there is no way that the Limp Dems will get their 10K tax threshold passed.

      Like

  56. 110

    What about the fair. All of the parties have promised us a fair!

    Ed Balls – Haunted House
    Harriet Harman / David Miliband – Bumper cars
    Vince Cable = Waltzer
    Alistair Campbell – The big spinning wheel
    Nick Clegg – Rollercoaster
    Theresa May – Teacups
    Gordon Brown – Ghost Train
    David Cameron – Hall of mirrors
    Alistair Darling – Helter Skelter
    Charlie Whelan – Test your strength machine
    Peter Mandelson – Candy Floss and foot-longs
    Sarah Teather – Goldfish
    Alan Duncan – Hook a Duckie

    Like

  57. 113
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    Did I just hear Brown on the Marr Show saying that in 5 years Britain can be leading the digital world, whatever that is?

    Other than the obvious crudities or unless it’s something to do with game station hours per annum per head of the population there is no prospect of this whatsoever.

    We’ll be lucky to be in the top 20 at a guess.

    Like

    • 132
      Incontinent with rage says:

      What he means by ‘leading’ is that in five years time it will be possible for an assylum-seeker working for a Home Office IT Contractor to lose an 8TB USB stick containing the entire National Identity Register, somewhere on the Northern Line.

      Like

  58. 114
    roadrunner says:

    SOD THE LOT. it’s UKIP for me.

    Like

  59. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Nick Clegg’s voice is increasingly taking on a John Major twang.

    Like

  60. 127
    QWERTY says:

    Actually the Liebour/Lib Dem Government would be the best solution. Why? Because after this election Liebour will be infested with UNITE backed MPs, who will oppose any plans to cut back on state spending, not that the one eyed jock mong has any intention of doing that.

    But the Limp Dems will demand that St Vince is allowed to wield the axe to public spending. This will cause huge internal fights within Liebour, leading to another General Election within 6 months. Liebour will be bankrupted and the Limp Dems shown to be gutless.

    The Tories will romp home despite the bummers at the BBC trying to make out that the one eyed mong is still the man to lead England.

    Like

  61. 129
    Fred Blogs says:

    Guido, great stuff. Looking forward to chapter 2 of your novel next week.

    Like

  62. 130
    Samantha Fox says:

    ******* SKY NEWS – Clegg just confirmed the Lib Dems would offer an in/out referendum on the EU if Elected *********

    Like

    • 161
      Dogger says:

      Link? Thought not.

      Like

      • 175
        Samantha Fox says:

        Said it live on SKY News this morning, he wants to push this swing through now will poach lots of tory votes.

        Don’t know why you would think it so amazing, been their confirmed policy for years.

        Like

        • 408
          Shirley Williams = I whirl aimlessly says:

          I would re-create the Social Democrats before allowing this!

          I would bring back David Owen before allowing this!

          I would resurrect Roy Jenkins before allowing this!

          NO, NO, NO, NO!

          Like

    • 166
      Ted Bundy says:

      If that’s true it would buy Clegg a ton of votes and could seal the deal on a big election haul for the Liberals. However he would then have the problem of being in charge of the most Europhile party committed to holding a referendum which will demand a Euro exit.
      Watch the Liberal party split apart after that one.

      Like

      • 170

        It’s in their manifesto: http://bit.ly/bO8c3v

        OK, it’s worded as “a in/out referendum the next time they want to change it”, but it’s there.

        Somebody at CCHQ take note. If you guys offered this, you’d be fighting the votes off with a shitty stick.

        Like

        • 206
          mojofury says:

          LibDems are stealing this election, gets some balls CCHQ.

          Not in or out but common market or further EU integration. The Economy needs the EU at present, but doesn’t need Brussels interference.

          The momentum the LibDems have will be unstoppable, if this is true.

          Do your really fancy another 5 years sole searching in the wilderness and maybe this election isn’t the one to win, but who says the Lipdems won’t turn the economy around and keep the Conservatives out a lot longer.

          Like

        • 274
          Thats MISTER pleb to you! says:

          Good grief! Any Lib/Lab/con promise on the in/out of the EU is a vote catching lie. Just look at all the other times we have had that old guff from all three of them, and when they get into power – its “sod off” time. Do me a favour!

          Like

          • Ted Bundy says:

            Read the small print REFERENDUM IF THEY NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING.
            The present EU treaty is such that further referendums are not now required they have all the power they now need to create the EU superstate.

            ITS A TRICK.

            Like

          • Susie says:

            Tricky Nicky.

            Doesn’t that have a familiar ring?

            Like

    • 361
      The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

      Like their 2005 Manifesto promise to hold a referendum on Lisbon you mean ??

      Like

  63. 131
    lolol says:

    Just watching sky with the Welsh debate crap on ,we are definatly have a load of lieing,corrupt,shiester politicians in the main parties, all questions as usual not answered by any of the so called politicos,all we need now is to listen to the Scottish debate crap,no doubt that will be the same,screw them all,the party that can’t be mentioned or UKIP or that English parly one, is a hard descision for me to make,but I suppose it will come down to who has candidate in my area.

    Like

  64. 147
    James Gordon Brown says:

    Don’t risk the recovery by voting for a LibCon pact.

    Like

    • 177

      If it wasn’t for your “leadership” and economic genius, we wouldn’t have to recover in the first place would we?

      It’s like force-feeing somebody heroin, turning them into a addict, then telling everybody not to stop feeding them because the withdrawal symptoms could be life-threatening.

      FFS.

      Like

  65. 148
    Mitch says:

    “Ed Balls has lost his Morley and Outwood seat to the Tory hero of election night, Antony Calvert. ”

    OH please!!! and that weird creature you see him with occasionally, could be a boy in a dress or a baboon with alopecia.

    Like

  66. 149

    If you’ve been following Guido for any length of time, you’ll know that his predictions are always there or thereabouts…

    Like

  67. 151
    Dack Blog says:

    Surely there’s a bit missing from the end of Guido’s tale of the unexpected – the Tory loyalists who, from the various blogs etc I’ve been reading, will be emigrating as soon as the ash cloud has lifted.

    Like

  68. 152
    Troller Durden says:

    I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces……. Shut up. which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of the internet.

    I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddamnit, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, and slaves with white collars.

    Advertising has it’s taste in cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.

    We are the middle children of history man, no purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual one, our great depression is our lives.

    We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t, and we’re slowly learning that fact, and we’re very very pissed off….

    Like

  69. 155
    Vulcan Vinnie says:

    Why don’t you just return to Labourlist you senile old bedwetter your repetitive posts are ruining my enjoyment of this blog.

    Like

  70. 160
    Peasant says:

    Have a look at the actual trends UK Election Trends is a good site for this. The trends show (without the LD surge from the debate):

    1) Labour has flat lined at 30%
    2) Tory is relentlessly going down suggesting 33%
    3) LD have shown an increase from the beginning of March suggesting 28%

    The debate surge has been Cameron’s loss and Clegg’s gain. Within the margin of error Labour is still on 30%. The big LD surge will be short lived, but ultimately it will result in 3-4% extra to Clegg and 3-4% fewer for Cameron. Consequently, this will mean all three parties will be on 30% at the election. Your 33-29-24 is simply your Conservative bias rather than a dispassionate view of the figures.

    Yes, you quite rightly say that in the situation of 30-30-30 Brown will have more seats than the proportion of the vote should allow. But if Cameron had his way, and gerrymandered a 10% cut in MPs, then he would have vastly more seats. The fact is pure and simple: the polling system results in these inequities. If you argue for FPTP, you have to accept that it may not go in your favour. If you want the number of seats to reflect the percentage of votes cast then you have to go for proportional representation. This will be the number one demand from the Lib Dems and they will not go into coalition with a party that does not guarantee a move to some form of PR. Brown has already suggested AV, Cameron has suggested gerrymandering FPTP, so who do you think the LibDems will prefer?

    Given 30-30-30 the rest of your prose will be nonsense since the new government will be Lib-Lab and part of the price would be Brown replaced as PM.

    Even with your fanciful 33-29-24 you’ll find that the ludicrous “Big Society” will be shelved. The LibDems will not accept DIY public services and will not stand the privatisation that is the real aim. The Great Repeal Act will not happen, the Lib Dems will not want to go back to 1997. Piecemeal reforms maybe, but not a – frankly unconstitutional – Great Repeal Act. So Cameron will not push for it since it is too radical.

    A Lib-Con coalition will fall at the NHS Accountability and Autonomy Bill. The Lib Dems will see this as a step too far down the privatisation path. Since it is a major plank of the Big Society this will be serious. A loss of Lib Dem support will mean a vote of no confidence and there will be another election soon after. The result of that will be the public disliking the privatisation plans of Cameron, and a swing towards supporting public services. The Lib Dems will jump on that bandwagon and the following election will be a small Labour majority under Milliband. Cameron will then be roasted publicly and held up forever more as an example of how to destroy a party that was once on track for a landslide victory.

    Like

    • 180
      nuff said says:

      Total bollocks.

      Like

      • 186
        Peasant says:

        My crystal ball is as valid as Guidos :-)

        But take a look at the trends 33-28-24 is fantasy, the result will be 30-30-30. Even if Guido’s wet dream becomes true the Lib Dems will demand PR and Cameron will not accept that. A Lib-Con pact will never happen.

        Like

        • 213
          nuff said says:

          The pollsters don’t even know what’s going on, let alone spastics like you.

          Like

        • 215
          Balls will be the next PM - place your bets now. says:

          Balls WILL be the new leader, he is bilderberg.

          The real masters have decided, they selected all the past leaders and he will be no different. Then watch the country go down the plughole and the Tories implode.

          As for PR, don’t count on it, remeber the Libs gave the promise of a EU referendum only to back out at the last min. You will get PR if and only if the NWO want it and see it as an advantage to them.

          Politics will shortly be gerrymanderd to make sure no independant parties can make any gains.

          Like I said get your bets on for balls, could make a tidy sum!

          Like

    • 207
      Dogger says:

      More realistic than Guido’s scenario, I’m afraid.

      The problems wil start earlier than the NHS bill, though – in fact almost immediately. Labour are used to being the boss and will not step to the side enough for anything that could genuinely be seen as a coalition. The Lib Dem grassroots will not be happy with the compromises that will be necessary. It will be an unsettled edgy and difficult time for the whole country, with resentment about all manner of things on the rise. The Tory party will literally be a spent force if they fail to get a majority under Cameron and there will have to be a major centre-right regrouping leading to the demise of the Tories.

      We will be living with day-to-day incredulity that Brown is still in power; a sense of unreality will begin to permeate the life of the nation, for those of us who have not detected it earlier.

      Like

    • 217
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      You are suggesting the Tories will secure less votes in this election than they did in the last 2005 GE. Sorry but there is nothing to suggest this to be the case. The state of the economy the total dislike of GB and so many other issues in play this is a fairy tale. The Tories might not get to 40% but they will be much nearer to 40 than 30. The polls and the media are spinning and like so many you are being taken in. But hey let’s see come May 7th we may all get a very big surprise.

      Like

    • 405
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      “supporting the public services” = spend spend spend taxpayer’s money or money you don’t have. Something ditherer Brown has been doing ever since he buried PRUDENCE.

      In those first few years of Bliars government he was at least following Conservative spending plans now he’s maxed out all the credit cards on supporting the public services and our kids and their kids will be paying for this for years to come while Cleggy incites Greek style rioting.

      Its just more liebor tax and spend, tax and spend.

      Like

    • 406
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      We’re heading for a Lib Lab coalition and another winter of discontent. Brown will accept anything to hold onto power (the precious) and the Libs will do anything to get into power.

      Like

  71. 168
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Is the press and blogosphere serious?

    Three berks on the telly mumbling platitudes and the Earth trembles? Really? God help us next week and the week after when the mentals do it again.

    Simply puff and blether; evasion and cynicism; twisting and turning in the wind; lapped up by a subservient bunch of twerps who, for their own safety, shouldn’t be let out after 6 pm yet who seem to believe they have the power to tell us all how to vote on the basis of chatting to their mates.

    Like

    • 178
      Simon Cowell says:

      The next government is gonna be decided by X Factor morons, god help us.

      Like

      • 193
        Clegg:Is he the new Obama or the new Churchill ? You decide ! Phone lines now open. says:

        It pains me to say so but you’re right..there’s already a facebook site lauding Clegg as the new Obama(!) and cajoling everyone under 25 to vote LibDem to change Britain. It’ll change Britain alright.It’ll be to use Dave’s old boss’s phrase a “turbulent day on the exchanges” on 7 May and that will just be the start of the national crisi that even St Vince will be unable to stem

        Like

  72. 173
    Little Albert says:

    I don’t like those rats New Labour.

    Like

  73. 174
    domino316 says:

    May 7th – Geologists at the University of Bordeaux announced that a 7.9 magnitude earthquake that struck the South East of England was the result of a mass stampede of people towards Dover following the return of Gordon Brown as PM in coalition with the Lib-Dems.

    While I’m only waiting here to vote against Zanu before leaving for good anyway (thank f*ck) remember “2000 swallowers do not a Government bring”

    Like

  74. 179
    English Liberation Front says:

    So where is Izzard the Lizzard in all this?

    Like

  75. 181
    Gary Elsby (Rejected by Stoke, Rejected by Labour) says:

    I am fighting this election to win.

    My supporters have canvassed the entire city and are telling me that the working class of Stoke will all be voting for me. I won’t say the election is in the bag but I expect to win.

    I know one thing for sure. My home town of Stoke will never vote for the party-that-must-not-be-named nor for a Labour leadership that has ignored its grassroots.

    I am a very serious person.

    Like

  76. 183

    While the majority of people could not give a fart what your going on about . . . . .

    Like

  77. 184
    Dorian Smith says:

    The state of the pound is the elephant in the room, Gordon can spin and spin all he likes (along with his friends at the BBC), the fact is, if he truly navigated the British economy through the recession (which he didn’t either) – why then has the pound slipped substantially against all currencies?

    It’s about time it was picked up upon. In the past two years, for example the pound has fallen from $2 to the pound to $1.50, raising fuel prices which are passed onto business and everyone else.

    Why the devaluation, allowed and promoted by Labour has been allowed to continue unchecked, I don’t know. It’s about time this subject was raised and used against Brown.

    Like

    • 190
      keep it simple says:

      Because most of the electorate are too thick to understand it.

      Like

      • 203
        Dorian Smith says:

        True, they might understand it more if the BBC had ever reported it’s decline, Evan Davis, Preston and Toenails have all ignored it since 2007 with faint mutterings about it in 2009 on how it affected tourists doing the booze run.

        I had to laugh last week when the BBC went out of their way to report a rise of the pound against the euro. They even included the up to date spot price. It’s had risen a mighty…..+0.0032 !*

        “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”

        * It fell later in the day.

        Like

    • 191
      Peasant says:

      The falling value of Sterling has been a Bank of England policy for many years now. The BoE realised that Brown’s early policy of a strong Sterling in his early time as Chancellor was not good for an exporting country, so it has deliberately allowed the pound to sink whenever it could. If the BoE wanted a strong pound it would put up interest rates, but it hasn’t. Simple as that. Gilts are a different issue altogether.

      Like

  78. 189
    Dick Robinson says:

    This change coalition sounds interesting but meanwhile, back in reality most (I would guestimate around 80-90%) limp dem supporters would rather prop up Labour for another 5 years than let Tories anywhere near Downing Street.

    Like

  79. 192

    Why you should not vote for Nick Clegg’s Lib Dems http://bit.ly/b5b2sL

    Like

  80. 195
    B. F. Skunner says:

    The hate for New Labour will affect all Neural pathways soon. Press the button. Go on I dare you.

    Like

  81. 196
    Doc Trough says:

    McLoon and beard appear to be at some sort of gent’s grooming event at a chapel in central London.

    Like

  82. 199
    Peasant says:

    Has anyone else noticed that many of the adverts on this site are LibDem (like the How Authoritarian is your MP)? Maybe Guido is a closet Lib Dem?

    Like

  83. 208
    Mrs Crewe says:

    Gordon is a Moron just suggested on Sky that only Labour voters have morals and that the Tories would vote for slavery and child abuse… think he’s got them mixed up with the catholic church!

    Like

  84. 209
    Seriously what is up with them? says:

    Can anyone tell me why Lib Dem voters would be happy in propping up a Labour Government instead of going for gold themselves? Is it a left wing homosexual thing? They like to be dominated and the bottom in the relationship?

    Or do they just like to crow from the sidelines constantly without every taking on responsibility or being held to account for their actions?

    I’m at a loss….

    Like

    • 301
      Princess Polytwaddle, recovering from her 5th eruption of status polytwadlicus in her ivory tower says:

      I’ll tell you what’s up – it’s ‘Nick’ the orgasmotron!

      Ohhhhhhh – I’m going or coming – again!

      Just the thought of him!!!

      It used to be Gorgon.

      It used to be Porterloo.

      But now it’s Nicj nick nick all the time!

      I’m fixated.

      DON’T HELP ME!! Let me enjoy the sweat sweety agony of young helpless maid!

      Like

  85. 210

    [...] A delightful story of May 7th on Guido Fawke’s Order Order, with a killer closing line – and like all good short stories, it’ll make you think. Share This Article [...]

    Like

  86. 211
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    GORDON BROWN AND HIS AMAZING MAGIC CHEQUE BOOK

    I see McBust is in london preaching to a mainly black audience
    telling them what they want to hear
    every child in the world has the right to basic education
    every child in the world to be lifted out of poverty
    training to be given to medical staff in all the poorest countries
    and guess who will pay for his fucking air-brained policies ? YOU

    Like

  87. 214
    I will vote for whoever gets us out of the EU. says:

    Just a test.If you want out of the EU add your moniker below.

    Like

  88. 222
    Our country has been sold out says:

    Like

  89. 224
    A spokesperson for No 10 Drowning (in debt) Street, holding a pad to her black eye says:

    The Glorious and Thrice-Beloved Leader wishes to announce that, following His endorsement of the pip-squeak . . newly discovered Nick Cleggover : -

    67,000 million wimmin achieved spontaneous orgasm this moaning alone on seeing ‘Nick’s’ picture

    67,000 million wimmin achieved spontaneous orgasm during the TV debacle on Thursday evening

    67,000 million wimmin achieved spontaneous orgasm over thoughts of having ‘Nick’s’ baby

    It follows therefore that it is all down to me that the wimmin of the UK have such a terrible ache in their lower belly today, and that ‘Nick’ is my newest Best Friend! He’s not a bhender, but hey – you’re lucky if you get everything you want!

    That is all. Get on with your work, – if you have any.

    And PAY YOUR TELLY TAX!

    Like

  90. 227
    Simon Cowell the sheeple shagger with guest ol' ickle Ewe says:

    Who cares who wins the election BGT is back. Little Albert is here to entertain you. He is a vote pleaser. A big cheer for Little Albert.
    Little Albert: Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags fool.
    The audience breaks down and gives Little Albert a standing ovation.

    Like

  91. 230
    6% says:

    Liblabcon’s, you are all shit and you know it!

    Like

  92. 236
    Anonymous says:

    Or, more likely, Labour team up with the LDs, keeping the Tories out for another 5 years. On hearing the news Guido instantly sobers up and tries to write a cogent blogpost, but works himself up into such a rage that he spontaneously combusts.

    Like

    • 307
      The next PM of LieBoreLand, Gorgon the BumLoving LoveBomber says:

      Nuthn’s ma fult ye un’stn.

      Ah sav’d tha wuld!

      Like

  93. 240
    The Swiss Connection says:

    Sadly the liklihood would be of a Lib/Lab pact leading to a growth in public spending, penal taxation, grotesque regulation of the financial sector and another 20% drop in the value of sterling.

    Shame really, but you have to remember the Lib Dems are really old labour people who would not sit comfortably with the conservatives.

    Like

  94. 241
    Vince Cable says:

    That Nick Clegg can fuck off for a start.

    Like

  95. 242
    Dont loose focus says:

    The objective is and always will be GET BROWN AND THE LABOUR PARTY OUT OF DOWNING STREET. Vote for whoever is best placed to defeat the Labour candidate in your constituency. Its really that simple. !

    Like

  96. 245
    Fat Bloke on Tour says:

    C Men

    All that work, all that effort, all that venom and what do you have?

    Cleggy coming up the rails, the new boy in town with Scratchy looking lonely lost and bewildered.

    Not looking good is it?

    Looking forward to the dog boilers on “Spunky Spunky” finally realising that Scratchy is not going to deliver and that putting all your trust in an upper middle class political foetus was not the great idea it seemed 5 years ago.

    Just where is DD when you need him?

    Like

    • 398
      English Liberation Front says:

      Tosser.

      “dog boiling” new Labour fuckwit buzzword as used by Fat Slag on Tour.

      Away an’ boil yer heed!

      Like

  97. 248
    Barnabas Scudamore says:

    How many times did Gordon cyclops brown, mention the word ” I ” in his Marr interview this morning ?

    Sarah Brown does look more like his carer as well.

    I just wonder what Her Majesty the Queen instructed Gordon Cyclops Brown to do when they last met ?

    It is afterall Her Majesty’s Governement.

    It is afterall Her Majesty’s Parliament.

    Cyclops is afterall HER prime minister.

    I suppose Her Majesty and her Majesty’s men will let democracy be seen to be taking place.

    I wonder if Her Majesty has told Mr Brown in no uncertain terms, that he is to leave public life.

    Rest assured, there are a group of men who answer to Her Majesty the Queen and will give their lives in defence of Her Majesty the Queen and Her Majesty’s wishes.

    Five more years of Gordon cyclops Brown would lead to civil war. Simply put, he’ll try and remove Her Majesty the Queen, there are those who will defend Her Majesty the Queen at ANY cost.

    Like

  98. 250
    JonBellingham says:

    About as likely as closing down Heathrow for a week!

    Like

  99. 265
    Ratsniffer says:

    The scenario outlined by Guiido would be an nightmare. It would either mean Cameron admitting he is not a tory at all, but a left-leaning socialist, or eternal bickering between the two factions about Clegg’s wishy-washy hand wringing liberal policies some of which are more left wing than labour.

    Does this country really want to be tied into a left wing regime for another 5 years? Make no mistake, it would be the end of conservatism.

    Yes, it would keep New labour out, and deservedly so for the lies spin and damage these idiots have foisted on us for the last 13 years. But it would also mean some sort of half arsed leftist concensus that would have to pander to Clegg’s euro-fanatical views, his hatred of nuclear weapons and power, his love of taxation, his hatred of prisons (yes, let’s be nice to the criminals….that really works doesn’t it?) and other policies which have not been properly thought out, because, frankly they never thought they would be able to enact them.

    Let’s not forget that many lib dems are ex labour and still harbour some of the more whacky left wing idiology which has already been tested to the limit over the last 13 years and failed miserably.

    What a depressing prospect that any of these fools will have any say in a future government.

    Like

    • 317
      Play the long game. says:

      ‘it would be the end of conservatism.’

      Oh ye of little faith, do you really think even this countries thickos will sit down and take it like the USSR under Stalin for the next 100 years?

      When it comes down to it, humanities base survival instincts will kick in once again as proven under every left wing regime eventually that the peoples hungry bellies see past the well fed politburos weasel words and promises of jam tommorow.

      We are being led my middle class bedwetters who have no real comprehension of the true ramifications of a communist state, they thought it was ‘cool’ to rebel against their parents and morals of the day and become cheer leaders for the ideology yet they never lived under communist rule themselves.

      These people are the clueless bourgeoisie that Marx talked about in the first place, they think by adopting the ideology they will get to be the new leaders and the working class will adore them. Yet they fully underestimate human behaviour just like C eausescu and Stalin did.

      Look Russia and Eastern Europe managed to rehabilitate themselves and revive conservatism and even China is on the road to rehabilitation.

      Communism just doesn’t work and eventually even the die hards accept that reality.

      Like

      • 325
        Nugent says:

        some of them have to die,hard.

        Like

      • 328
        Raving Loon says:

        “Communism just doesn’t work and eventually even the die hards accept that reality.”

        No they won’t. The quest for power and political control is as old as time itself, and those that seek it will always use the public good as an excuse to keep it.

        Like

      • 338
        Winston Smith says:

        You’re right but they will simply keep the “proles” happy by featherbedding them with benefits, cheap alcohol, plasma tellys and easy to obtain drugs. It’s worked for 13 years…

        Like

      • 343
        straw man dum dum says:

        dem evul commienazis are like dat hitler bloke innit? !? duur ? !? durrrr !?
        fuud goes in mouth ? !?

        Like

  100. 273
    SIMON COWELL'S enormous 4" BONER says:

    We were going to ask Eddie Lizard on Britains Got Talent
    untill Amanda made two valid points
    One he hasn’t got any
    and two we already have a tea lady !

    Like

    • 303
      The Archbishop of Canterbury says:

      How strange. I was just contemplating upon Amanda’s two valid points at this very moment.

      Like

  101. 276
    PhilP says:

    I am rapidly reaching the conclusion that the only thing that Cameron can do to get the tories back on track is to have the referendum on the Lisbon treaty however hollow may be the result because the rot definitely started when Cameron, although he had no choice, threw in the towel.
    We also need a rapid re-negotiation pre the Lisbon Treaty agreement.
    Brown and Clegg have sold us down the river on this and although they have signed up to it the country’s right of self determination of its own destiny cannot be democratically determined by two europhiles and a bunch of unelected troughing beaurocrats.
    We want our country back and if the price is reneging on the Lisbon Treaty well so be it. Fcuk them all.

    Like

    • 283
      You know you want to. says:

      Brown signed not us. arrest the bastard for treason,execute him and pull out

      Like

      • 314
        The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

        Totally correct.Not forgetting Clegg & the LibDems who also reneged on their manifesto commitment to hold a referendum or support the Tories amendment

        Like

  102. 277
    LES says:

    WHAT A FANTASTIC BLOG – LOVE IT !

    IVE TAKEN A DAYS LEAVE ON 7/5 TO ENJOY THE DRAMA !!

    WELL DONE GUIDO

    Like

  103. 280
    Experienced political commentator says:

    The only game changer is immigration. If the Tories have the courage to take a hard line on it , they can still win an overall majority.

    Like

    • 306
      The great Immigration Con Trick and the problem that cannot be solved by any of the main parties says:

      But they can’t actually do anything about the REAL immigration problem can they ? It’s not about limiting the number of Bangldeshi Balti Chefs it’s about immigrants from Eastern Europe who are members of the EU.As EU Citizens they have unrestricted travel and employment rights anywhere in the UK so neither Cameron’s Cap and Points System or Cleggs Regionalisation will have any effect at all on the influx of these people. Labourdeclined the EU transitonal arrangements which apart from Ireland the UK was the only member state to do so and the result is as we see it to-day….uncontrolled mass immigration from Eastern Europe

      Like

      • 397
        Anonymous says:

        It’s about immigration from where ever the fuck it comes from. EU, non-EU, and yes Commonwealth too.

        This country doesn’t exist for the benefit of the rest of the world. If the chattering classes want to wallow in post-colonial guilt, let them fuck off to the third world and do charity work or something. Don’t let them misuse this country as a prop for their moral vanity.

        A country of 60 million people (official state lies I know, more like 70 million) should be virtually self-sufficient in manpower, if it was ran by people who actually gave a shit about Britain that is.

        Instead we are lumbered on the one hand with socialists who don’t believe in the concept of the nation state, and on the other with idiots who believe a country is a company. Both have fuck all real interest in Britain, other than it being a glorified test bed for their warped ideologies.

        Like

  104. 291
    Anonymous says:

    Without doubt there would be a list as long as your arm of which MP’s you’d like to see lose their seats. Here’s a few that, were justice a part of British life, would be subject to more than a lost seat. Nonetheless, you get the idea. Note in what follows I don’t give a toss what shithouse party they support:

    1. William ‘Stash’ Cash
    2. Bernard ‘Daddy pays’ Jenkin
    3. Mohammed Sarwar
    4. Eric Joyce
    5. Greg Barker
    6. Brian Binley
    7. Edward Balls
    8. Gerald Kaufman
    9. Stephen Byers
    10. Alan Beith

    Words cannot condemn them enough.

    Like

    • 304
      Tar and feather says:

      What about the other 636 who are just as guilty in either being troughers themselves or turning a blind eye to abuses of the expenses system by those that were? My MP “declined to pass judgement” when i raised it with him.

      Like

    • 327
      Nugent says:

      didn’t some nonce go down screaming once that Kaufman was one too.?

      Like

      • 425
        Anonymous says:

        Settle Down Anon – and don’t condemn so quickly.

        Mohammed Sarwar – on the face of it just another Mooslem “All about Us alone!” MP… actually did fantastic work getting some Asian killers who mashed up a white boy for no reason other than his skin colour done by the police… working with the local community to out them and bring their crimes to justice.

        Guess what – the Labour PPC – fucking hated him for it. Yet I believe – he may earn his place in heaven for showing such courage – when most MP’s would hide behind their secretaries and cite “pressing business elsewhere – deepest sympathies etc”

        So in short – Fuck you. Discriminate more.

        Like

        • 441
          KMCL says:

          Agreed.
          Can I suggest Mr Jim Murphy MP as a replacement on this hate list?

          If I lived in his constituency I would even vote Tory if it was the only way to ditch him next month.

          If you don’t know our Jimbo, try and imagine Skeletor crossed with Montgomery Burns and Lurch from the Addams family.

          Like

  105. 292
    fire starter says:

    Education

    “Clegg was educated at Caldicott in South Buckinghamshire, then Westminster School in London. As a 16-year-old exchange student in Munich, Germany, he performed community service for a minor case of arson: he and a friend burned Germany’s leading collection of cacti belonging to a professor, something which he said he was “not proud” of, when it re-emerged during his time as Lib Dem Home Affairs spokesman.” Wicki.

    Like

  106. 294
    Ted Bundy says:

    Is it true that this morning Dave Cameron was seen at his local Notting Hill council tip with Eric Pickles chucking out all of his Big Society rubbish that the public have so comprehensively derided.

    Fresh re launch next week

    Like

    • 309
      Gene Hunt for PM says:

      He and the Tories actually made the mistake of thinking that the majority of the electorate are actually bothered

      Like

      • 329
        Hear that? It's the sound of freedom says:

        They are. There will be a mass stampede to vote UKIP and BMP. Enough is enough, it’s personal now.

        Like

        • 379
          Remember, Remember says:

          Agreed – those three are all personally crap and electorally irrelevant. Join the stampede and ;et’s show them what we really care about.

          Like

  107. 295
    They Will Reveal Themselves In 2012 says:

    Some say it was a warning
    Some say it was a sign
    I was standing right there
    When it came down from the sky
    The way it spoke to us
    You felt it from inside
    Said it was up to us
    Up to us to decide

    You’ve become a virus
    That’s killing off its host
    We’ve been watching you with all of our eyes
    And what you seem to value most

    So much potential
    Or so we used to say
    Your greed, self importance, and your arrogance
    You piss it all away

    We heard her cry
    We’ve come to intervene
    You will change your ways and you will make amends
    Or we will wipe this place clean

    Your time is tick-tick-ticking away

    Like

  108. 296
    A Beast says:

    I used to do a lot of serious running sometimes with a huge bergen on my back and no way has that trannt Eddie the Lizzard run 47 marathons
    He is about as convincing as McMentals pigeon toed knock knee shuffle around Hyde park
    They probably met in the bushes for some mana a mano

    Like

  109. 298
    one for the lads in afghanistan says:

    Like

  110. 299
    St Phoney of Bliar says:

    Hi!

    And remember – my presence is with you always!

    Remember also that I was all things to all men – and now I’m reincarnated in ‘Nick’.

    Isn’t life wonderful!

    I’m also very, Very, VERY rich!

    And me missus – she’s done wonders saving out of the housekeeping!

    Like

  111. 300
    Simon Cowell's sheepdog Piers Morgan says:

    Shaushages

    Like

  112. 308
    Barroso says:

    I agree with Nick.

    Like

  113. 313
    purpleline says:

    move over J K Rowling and enter stage right Mr Guido Fawkes.

    If Carlsberg created fiction and wrote Blogs it would be designed on Guido Fawles truly a man of great mystery & imagination.

    Not bad ideas only fly in the ointment is The cable is a busted flush and EU will split Tory’s if they allow Clegg in. But I like it.

    Incidental and off topic Brown calles for an investigation into Goldman Sachs, the Purps is calling for a wider investigation into Browns intimate relationship with Goldman, who have run government economic policy since 1997. Sue Nye/ Gavin Davies Brown has been whore for a job there. Did they advise Brown on the Gold sales and did their hedge fiund and mates become, standout buyers. Come on Brown we want to know just what did Goldman advise you on and why did they get majority of all the government economic contracts. Purpleline is tweeting on this get retweeting folks

    purpleline Will the Investigation cover Gordon Brown’s close ties with Goldman Sachs? http://TwitPWR.com/Hu8/

    Like

    • 333
      Hope says:

      Do I sniff the SEC over the horizon here, no wonder Gordon has sympathy for Gary McKinnon,he might be in the same position soon.

      Like

  114. 319
    Dont loose focus says:

    The priority remains to get Brown and his Party out of Downing Street. Vote which ever candidate is best placed to beat the Labour candidate in your constituency. It is that simple.

    Like

    • 365
      The LibDems start to realise the enormity of their predicament says:

      For God’s Sake don’t vote for us we might actually win the election !!! We’re all bricking it here. Nick wasn’t supposed to actually to be in a position to win power onlt the debate

      Like

  115. 320
    Eric Pickles in the garden of his taxpayer funded second home hard at work on the new Tory relaunch says:

    Like

  116. 323
    The Change Confabulation says:

    ..The Big Society reform programme promises to fundamentally re-balance state and society in favour of a smaller more open government. Then the King of the jellybabies arrived and annointed Guido Fawkes Secretary of State for Business, Moonbeams and Candyfloss while giving the remitt of Pies to Old Holborn.

    Shortly afterwards the grand banquet would ensue with the Thames having been turned into delicious chocolate while the Emperor of the pixies arrives on his unicorn to join the coalition just in time to help. He eliminates the need for all taxes and delivers free foaming Beer into the nations taps instead of water.

    And then you woke up.

    Like

  117. 324
    Simon Cowell's Sheepdog Piers Morgan says:

    Shaushages. I do tricks for shaushages.

    Like

  118. 332
    The Pope says:

    Whoever goes in to coalition with the Lib Dems will see their government collapse in 6 months and be out on their ear in 7.

    Like

  119. 344
    David Peter says:

    Hate to sound all sappy, but this post has just inspired me to leave my first comment, after lurking for four years. A fitting riposte to any who decry Guido as a nihilist anti-politics prankster. As a pretty moist Conservative this fantasy is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

    Like

  120. 350
  121. 351
  122. 354
    Fuse says:

    Fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Like

  123. 360
    Nick Robinson says:

    I’m sick of all the shit I spout on my blog so I’ve come over here

    Like

  124. 363
    Hypnagogic State of Politics. says:

    You gotta have a dream, cos if you don’t have a dream how you gonna make those dreams come true? Happy, happy, happy talk

    Like

  125. 364
  126. 366
  127. 368
    Dick Tator says:

    Ok, NOW I am pissed off. My MP, Michael Jack, is retiring, and I just discovered that the Tories are parachuting in a fuckin’ Jock to (they hope) replace him. After McDoom and all his Scottish mates in this disaster they called a government, and all the scottish accents on BBC ad infinitum, the last thing I want is another import from Scotland where, don’t forget, they have their OWN fuckin’ parliament.

    What is it with all these jocks wanting to come south to be paid from the public purse? Well, ok, I know, I lived for four years in Dunfermline in the 70s. Couldn’t wait to escape. But I was not Scottish, it wasn’t my country.

    Don’t know what I will vote for now, but it will NOT be for another scottish history/economics graduate. Jeez, I’m fucked. Only Lab and Limp Dumb are also standing. Shit. Shit. Shit.

    Like

  128. 370

    Labour will always maintenance a great legacy for future generationals so that in years to come people will be quoting, like Winston Churchill that guy on the insurance ad: “Were this not their finest hours, ladies and gents?”

    Like

  129. 381
    AAron Porter says:

    O/T Poor students being pushed out of the pubs. Whining about their beer money being cut. No more free holidays from Student Support. Boohoo no more living the the dream.

    Like

  130. 382
    Frodo Forks says:

    The sexy Russian spy in Lib Dem leader hopeful Nick Clegg’s past

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-488824/The-sexy-Russian-spy-Lib-Dem-leader-hopeful-Nick-Cleggs-past.html#ixzz0lT0A8FFA

    Like

  131. 384

    Guido – do you have Jeffrey Archer writing for you now ? Because the plot sounds a bit familiar.

    Like

  132. 390
  133. 396
  134. 401
    Anonymous says:

    Daviesgate” !!! Browns head on a plate !

    Like

  135. 402
    exclusive preview of next debate says:

    Like

  136. 403
    Colonel Nut. says:

    Cactus Clegg has released greenhouse gases and caused global warming.Does this qualify him for the hot seat?

    Like

  137. 404
  138. 411
    goto100 says:

    “The average age of the cabinet is now 44, the centre-piece of the Queen’s speech is to be a Great Repeal Bill, undoing 13 years of authoritarian legislation and strengthening civil liberties, restricting the growth of the surveillance and database society.”

    This stands out. Have they really given any indication of a firm commitment to doing this? It is such an obvious, no real cost way to cement any future government’s popularity and win the trust of the people. Yet, everything tells me it will never happen. Like a public option for US healthcare, in spite of overwhelming support, and the necessary votes in the legislature, a string of ever-more improbable reasons why it just can’t be done yet will be trotted out, and things will go in the opposite direction instead.

    Like

  139. 412
    what a joke says:

    The Lib Dems would never form a coalition with the Tories. They fundamentally disagree on more issues than the LDs do with Labour.

    Keep dreaming of your utopia Guido.

    Like

  140. 417
    Craig says:

    Brilliant – let’s just make it a reality now!

    Like

  141. 418
    Geoff Gilson says:

    Guido, can’t happen. Sorry, mate. By convention, the Queen is only allowed to invite the leader of the largest Party to form a Government. If she were to invite another leader, it would provoke a constitutional crisis. She won’t do that.

    Nick would never join a Coalition headed by Gordon. If Labour were to change leaders, the Conservatives would challenge on the basis that, since the General Election had been fought so much on the personality of the potential Prime Minister, it would be unconstitutional for a new leader to form the Government. Less authoritative, but still a good line. Enough to make Nick pause for thought.

    If Gordon were to soldier on, and then not resign after a Vote of No Confidence, it would provoke another constitutional crisis. And would damn the Labour Party for half a generation. Even his own would take issue.

    The Queen can not dissolve Parliament on her own. She can only do so at the behest of her Prime Minister. If Gordon were neither to resign, nor to call a new Election, it would be the basis for a third potential constitutional crisis.

    Nice ‘what if?,’ Guido. But not grounded in constitutional reality. Cheers.

    Like

    • 419

      Conventions are not hard and fast rules, I think in any event she calls the person she is advised could command the support of the house. Might need to check.

      Like

    • 426
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      “Even his own would take issue”? You have been a lot closer to it than I have, Geoff, but there is not one vertebra between this lot!

      My political memories go back to MacMillan but I do not recall any situation, in government or out, where I have witnessed such a calcium free area.

      Even Winston Churchill had to wait fifty years for his first sighting of “the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench.” He could surely not have conceived of a Parliament in which a greater part consisted of such “freaks and monstrosities”.

      Like

  142. 423
    giant gonad says:

    Absolute bollocks, Guido. Cameron will face civil war from his own party if he does a deal with Clegg.

    Like

  143. 427
    Hugh Janus says:

    The Great Repeal Bill in the penultimate paragraph has to be the way forward. Quite frankly I don’t much care how we get there, so long as our bloated and hugely wasteful bureaucracy is dismantled without delay.

    Like

  144. 428
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry if others have pointed this out, and I can’t be arsed to read the preceding 8 brazillion posts, but 33 / 24 /29 would give the Tories about 290 seats, Labour 220 ish and the Lib Dims 110. The Tories would still be short of a majority, but they could probably govern without a formal coalition, especially if they offer electoral form, which the election result would force them to, anyway. These figues are from Electoral calculus, and are based on a uniform swing, so probably understate Tory seats.

    The electoral system is iniquitous, but is isn’t THAT iniquitous.

    By the way, Mrs Thatcher will never die.

    Like

  145. 431
    bob says:

    Lol. Nutter!

    Like

  146. 433
    Desert Rat says:

    Proportional representation is possible double edged sword (look at last Euro election.

    So in future, if every vote counted, we could have something like this representation in Parliament:

    Cons 24%
    Lib Dem 24%
    UKIP 18%
    Lab 15%
    BNP 10%
    Green 2%

    Interesting times?

    Others

    Like

  147. 442

    [...] electorate would be ‘delighted’ or ‘wouldn’t mind’ a Lib-Con “Change Coalition“ [...]

    Like

  148. 443
    Rated says:

    Howdy Guido, I’ve been reading for many years and this post really, really did get me thinking. Hope you don’t object to me using this blog as a basis and providing my own rebuttal/take on things:

    http://xxxrated.livejournal.com/549342.html

    Keep up the good work

    Like

  149. 444

    [...] means the problem now has the attention of those above his pay grade.  Last Sunday Guido sketched out a potential May 7 scenario, Tim Montgomerie was horrified, the feedback Guido got was more mixed – mostly it was [...]

    Like

  150. 445

    [...] idea was originally floated with brio and verve by Guido Fawks last Sunday. In yesterday’s update he notes that Nick has said (rightly) it would be inconceivable to allow [...]

    Like

  151. 446

    [...] market plunges.   Guido begs to differ, arguing that if on May 7 the Tories went into a “Change Coalition“ with the LibDems – the only party with a leader that admits we need “savage [...]

    Like


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New Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has big ambitions in his first meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu today:

“I came to bring this conflict to an end.”



Flight Watch says:

Russia Today is a cauldron of bullsh*t. The only people that take it seriously are deluded conspiracy theorists. Other RT journos have resigned citing the same reasons.

It’s about as believable as Press TV, KCNA of North Korea or the Daily Mirror.


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