April 16th, 2010

Kevin Maguire’s Alternative Reality

Guido often contrasts the way intelligent hacks treat their readers patronisingly in the tabloids. Compare Fraser Nelson, Britain’s most read political columnist, in the News of the World to Kevin Maguire in the Mirror.  Today the difference is startling.

Neither would deny they were partisan, but compare their reports of last night’s debate. Fraser, calling it for Clegg says reasonably:

“He enjoyed the novelty factor. I hope he enjoys it: tonight may very well be the high point of his political career.”

In contrast Kevin Maguire, crassly talking down to his readers and taking them for fools, writes in this morning’s Mirror:

“It was a man against two boys. Gordon Brown finally reminded Britons why he’s respected around the world. Assured, determined, he was the Prime Minister. The other pair were 40-something rookies… It wasn’t a game-changer, but Brown’s back in the game.

Clegg too has reason to be cheerful… Cameron lost the most… his aura of invincibility shattered. Brown edged it and, privately, Cameron knows it.”

Brown bombed big-time in prime-time. Does Maguire really think his readers will believe this hagiography rather than the evidence of their own eyes?


257 Comments

  1. 1

    Will someone please finally explain why Maguire is know as Toilets?

    Like

    • 7
      Geordie-upon-Thames says:

      Because he’s full of shit and smells of piss.

      Like

      • 37
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        You beat me to it.

        Like

        • 65
          The BMP won says:

          Like

          • Do the BBC rig the question time audience? is this proof? says:

            * Mr Griffin also questioned the impartiality of debate hosts ITV.

            “It was noticed that one of the questioners was the same person who took part in the Question Time show upon which I featured,” he said.

            The rules for the TV debate included a stipulation that the audience was supposed to come from within a 30-mile radius of the host city. In last night’s case, this was Manchester.

            However, a 17-year old, Joel Weiner, Brent, North London, appeared on last night’s show — as he did during Mr Griffin’s appearance in the BBC’s West London studios.

            “At the time, Mr Wiener told the media that the BBC had approached him to take part in Question Time, not the other way round.

            “Now suddenly he pops up again in Manchester, 200 miles away. It is clear that the TV station owners manage audiences to suit it political agendas,” Mr Griffin said.

            Like

          • Do the BBC rig the question time audience? is this proof? says:

            BBC/ITV media in general – something odd going on?

            Like

          • A Future Fucked For All says:

            Yep lets listen to the Barking Cyclops

            Like

          • Another shit for brains poster says:

            Ok dickhead lets not listen to him and the fair point he made and let the media and politicians treat us for fools alright? your fucking more moronic than Griffin shit for brains.

            Like

    • 13
      QWERTY says:

      Because it’s in the toilet where it’s the only time he has a fucking clue about what he’s doing.

      Like

      • 21
        Nick Clegg's Nan's Beaver says:

        The Worm afterwards was soooo funny.

        Watching it dip everytime GB opened his slack mouth.

        Like

        • 76
          Mr Ned says:

          The even bigger consensus than Clegg was the winner in this debate, is the consensus everywhere else that Brown was the biggest loser in it and outside of it.

          Clegg cannot convert the win in the debate into a win in the election. He will NOT be the next Prime Minister, Brown is the loser as this can only hurt his campaign.

          Cameron still has more to prove.

          Like

          • oldrightie says:

            I’m with you, Ned. However, let’s allow DC to prove his mettle in number 10. At least the place will smell better.

            Like

          • The EUSSR won the debate as it controls all three parties says:

            Cameron is a eurofascist puppet, it matters not if Brown Clegg or Dave get in the people making the policies will be in brussles.

            Like

          • The EUSSR won the debate as it controls all three parties -BIG EU TAXES says:

            So they are all talking about cuts, what to pay the EU? to pay the ECO joke TAX?

            Our children going without for a bunch of international gangsters running the national banks, dreaming up new nazi ways to control us !

            Like

        • 193
          Number 10's cat says:

          I’m pissed off that the last debate is effectively a home match for Brown. Added with a bent ref and carefully picked (by the BBC) audience, Call me Dave is in for a torrid time

          Like

        • 234
          Thats News says:

          When he started with his normal claptrap set pieces it fell sharply.

          Like

    • 18
      Hang The Bastards says:

      Apparantly something to do with late night rendezvous in public toilets with other men.

      Like

    • 72
      English Liberation Front says:

      Posted the following on another blog early this morning – Guido is spot on about The Mirror:

      “What is the matter with the Mirror? I know it is the most stupid rag on earth – even the Sport is better – but it is the only paper to give a win to Brown – all the others go with Clegg. Does it have to slavishly follow the party line all the time? It is so very, very dumb!”

      Like

      • 120
        Nick2 says:

        I’m certainly no fan of Brown (I’d like to see every cabinet minister in the past 13 years shot through the face) – but I didn’t see himself as the obvious loser. Not the winner but he didn’t appear to crash and burn.

        As ITV’s website went down after 30 mins I listened to the debate so that may be the difference.

        Like

      • 153
        The Real English Liberation Front says:

        Oi! Imposter!

        Like

    • 99
      Truth Seeker says:

      Yes, because he cleans up

      Like

    • 206
      English Liberation Front says:

      Sensational poll (ITV-Comres) just out. Tories 36 percent; Lib Dems 35 percent, ZanuLabour 24 percent.Lnn

      http://twitter.com/BBCElection

      Please, please, please let this be the end of Labour!

      Like

    • 251
      john in cheshire says:

      If anyone wants to put a contract out on mcguire, please let me know, I’ll give £5 towards it.

      Like

  2. 2
    Andy Coulson says:

    Asked about his chances of becoming prime minister, Mr Cameron said: “I feel shitty and don’t want the job.”

    “It’s a huge challenge. We are in the middle of a hard-fought and tough election campaign. It’s a campaign I believe we will lose. It’s a campaign I believe we ought to lose because the country is crying out Gordon Brown.”

    He said a prime minister had to have a weak team and keep “body and soul apart” by snorting coke.

    “Because what a prime minister does, above all, is exercise judgment and if you are frazzled and knackered and frayed your judgment goes and you won’t do anyone any favours, least of all yourself.”

    Like

    • 106
      The Grim Reaper says:

      I think you are the only snorter around here matey……trying to keep the troughers in power by any chance?

      Like

      • 127
        E BALLS says:

        oink oink

        Like

      • 144
        ShoutsAtTheTV says:

        “NURSE!!….”

        Like

      • 253
        manicbeancounter says:

        I wouldn’t want the job. Gordo has created the mess. It was he who created the structural deficit that now needs to be closed with spending cuts and tax rises. When people lose their jobs and march through London with their SWP banners, it won’t be Gordon Brown’s name on it.

        Like

  3. 3
    A mere peasant says:

    Surely it’s well-nigh impossible not to talk down to Mirror readers?

    Like

    • 8
      Anonymous says:

      Vote Lib get CND

      Like

    • 11
      concrete pump says:

      How many Mirror readers are into politics? Most people i know that read it only look at the sports pages.

      Like

      • 22
        Charles Flaccidwidger says:

        Look and not read presumably!

        Like

      • 26
        QWERTY says:

        Yes ‘look’ most of those fucking mongs can’t read.

        Like

      • 43
        PM says:

        The Beano is a more serious read than the Mirror.

        Like

        • 78
          Old Skool Nokia says:

          It’s a lot better written as well.

          Picked up a discarded copy of the Mirror in my local last Saturday and had a read: Pages and pages of the most utterly deranged ranting. Put it down in disgust thinking “do people actually believe this rubbish?”

          Like

        • 104
          Brown's a Tosser says:

          Not that scientific or pollster adjusted but out of 13 asked Six believe Clegg came across best, five thought Cameron was best and 1 thought Brown was best and he is a Labour lifer. That makes 12 because the other watched for 20 minutes and said she has no intention of voting. Not sure what this tell us and in truth wish I had not bothered to ask but there it is. One thing to mention though out of the 13 nine voted for Blair now that is significant I think.

          Like

      • 171
        John Thomas says:

        Just the same with the Tit and Bum plus page 3.

        Like

      • 213
        Lil Olmey says:

        Are the Perishers still in the Mirror ? (Only bit that was ever worth looking at.)

        Like

    • 229
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      They are kept in the dark and fed shit due to tribal loyalty going back to the 1940’s when Labour put people before power. Labour were the party of aspiration then and I benefitted from the opening up of Grammar schools for working class children, promoted by Labour. Mirror readers bleed if you cut them, just like you. It’s going to be a three-term job to open the curtains, drag them into the light and change their preferred diet.

      Like

      • 246
        Legal Eagle says:

        Labour never did anything for Grammar Schools. They are, and always were, a Conservative policy and success story. Every Labour government has sought to close them down, rather like pulling the ladder up behind them, and to replace them with Comprehensives (now Academies).

        Like

  4. 4
    Father Abraham says:

    I would like to see yellow Smurf Clegg go into a debate with a lead in the polls and then have to put forward promises based on the notion that he may have to keep them (i.e. get rid of our nukes whilst the extreme Muzzies tool up) …… would be a case of “welcome to the real world of politics Nick”.

    Like

    • 122
      Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

      Clegg was clearly the winner. What did anyone expect? Now on substance: he will cancel Trident, yet he has no proposal for a scaled down nuke option. He lambasts bankers but doesn’t have the guts to condemn what is clearly a fascist clique hell bent on enriching itself in business and politics, no matter the cost to the country. He says this, that and the other. OK, now let’s get serious. Clegg played the role of Mr Reasonable, but he must know he’s a novelty that will wear very soon – he doesn’t have answers to the questions that are coming his way.

      Like

      • 151
        Nick2 says:

        I’ve heard Lib Dems proposing a ‘bespoke’ option, possibly cruise missile based.

        First the MOD cannot control ANY budget or ANY project – so we’d get something late that costs the earth.

        Second, cruise missiles are much easier to shoot down or jam (their GPS) than Trident. Something travelling in normal airspace at 650mph is easier to target than something landing from above at 7Km per second.

        The whole point of nuclear deterrence is plausibility – fry Streatham & say goodbye to Pyongyang. If their capital is surrounded by concentric rings of SAM sites (like Moscow reportedly is, out to at least 50Km) then we’ll have to fire a lot more nuclear warheads to ensure that one gets close. That’ll do wonders to stop nuclear proliferation.

        Like

        • 200
          Johnny says says:

          Is a nuclear deterrence needed?

          ICBMs with conventional warheards could be much more precise than nuclear but just as unstoppable compared to cruise missiles. Think: a bunker buster launched from thousands of miles away rather than dropped from a bomber we don’t have.

          Like

          • Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

            Kinetic weapons dropped from Low Earth Orbit would ruin your day. I’m pretty sure they would be as costly as Trident or the Libyans and Iranians would be pursuing them as options.

            Like

        • 218
          Anonymous says:

          The real question one needs to ask is who are we deterring with our nuclear arsenal?

          Iran, well they don’t have one yet and it will take them years to scale it down enough to put on an ICBM – even if they managed to do all that without the world taking conventional steps to stop them, they’re more likely to lob it Israel or America’s way than ours.

          North Korea, even less plausible that they’d target us. Before we’re in range America is.

          Who else is there?

          The fact of the matter is a nuclear deterrent is an incredibly expensive weapon we’ve kept around since the end of the cold war just in case a future enemy comes along and builds them.

          The reality of a conflict involving nuclear weapons is probably going to come down to either a dirty bomb or a full blown nuke in the wrong hands – someone that really doesn’t care that we have a deterrent, and would in fact rather like us to retaliate against a city with a civilian population.

          Like

      • 158
        Stop Funding The Labour Party Spin Machine With My Licence Fee says:

        It has always been easy to be Lib Dum leader. You can come up with nice fluffy policies because you will never have to implement them. You can come across as sensible and reasoned because you do not have to create new ideas, just disagree or agree with whichever of the others you like or not. The electorate tend to have empathy with them because of the “aaahhh bless” factor. When push comes to shove people do not vote for them.

        Like

      • 230
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Applause.

        Like

      • 237
        Thats News says:

        He gets his economic advice from the people’s weathervane, Vince Cable. Oh, dear!

        In stormy weather Vince spins like a top.

        Like

  5. 5
    concrete pump says:

    Fucking hell, Maguire is seriously deluded. What debate was he watching?

    Why has Maguire still got a job?

    Like

    • 12
      Maladroit Labour Chump says:

      Isn’t he auditioning to write for The Beano or read stories on Jackanory ?

      Like

      • 20
        concrete pump says:

        I think that’s Al campbell, but he’s prolly got toilets on hand in case of spelling mistakes.

        Like

      • 33
        pissed off voter says:

        not sure what planet Maguire hails from but one thing is for sure – now that it’s been printed in the mirror McShane will claim it as a fact.

        Like

      • 222
        Mrs. G. Brown says:

        McGuire probably wants to be a labour mp.

        And I hate Clegg already. Oh, and Vince – that Mr. Bean voice.

        Like

    • 46
      PM says:

      Maguire is the wank stain on the world’s underpants.

      Like

    • 54
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Exactly and why do Sky keep paying fees to such a complete fuckwit.

      Like

    • 243
      unablogger says:

      Oh come on, we all know Maguire’s a numpty. Does anybody buy the Mirror nowdays, he’s got the job because no one else applied, can you imagine the shame brought on your family and the ridicule that your kids would go through at school if you told everyone you worked for the Mirror.

      Like

  6. 6
    Mark M says:

    Maguires a twat

    Like

  7. 9
    Labour's 78 RPM anti-spinner says:

    Kevin’s description of Brown does not agree with our family’s opinion of the programme. For us Clegg won – and we’re not Lib-Dems!

    Like

  8. 10
    Dave the UAF says:

    Guido, you are nuts.
    Dave came 3rd in a 3 horse race.
    A couple days ago you had Dave on 49 and Brown on 10 or sumting, now he comes last and you are in stuck. get a grip your colours are wilting .

    Like

    • 34
      Doris says:

      Brown came third you numpty and NOT Dave. Stop perpetuating untruths. Not one poll puts Brown ahead of Cameron.

      Like

      • 45
        Dave the UAF says:

        See Sky news, In any case he did NOT win by a mile as was predicted here before the “debate” took place.
        Dave bombed against all expections here, he bombed get over it.
        Lets see his bounce.

        Like

        • 61
          Samantha Fox says:

          Everyone was predicting Clegg would win, and he did. But the reality is he won a beauty show not an argument, now he will have to explain in depth what he is going to do when he cancels Trident etc.

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            He doesn’t have to explain anything Sam. Just as Brown doesn’t explain anything. He just has to keep spouting bullshit and attracting those bed-wetting Labour voters and make sure that Labour come third.

            Way to go Cleggie. Finally, he’s figured out where his votes are likely to come from.

            I don’t care who wins as long as Labour is annihilated. As full and just reward for their annihilation of the UK economy.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            I still haven’t lost any weight by drinking that tea you sold me.

            Like

          • Brown's a Tosser says:

            jgm2 – you have that right. Brown and NuLabour into oblivion works for me too. Brown knows his only hope is a hung parliament where inevitably he will be the larger of the two parties. So a minority government made up of Lab/Lib/Dems deals and five more years of Brown. The question is will the british public get duped.

            Like

        • 102
          Doris says:

          Dave the UAF:

          You are a bad loser my friend. Have you ever heard of fair play rather than trying to lie and spin your way out of a bad position. Be a man, put your hands up, and admit Brown is a failure.

          Brown was a disaster last night – he sounded as though he was reading an autocue. He is quite simply incompetent and a bumbling idiot. The trouble is the bumbling idiot has bankrupted our economy and seriously damaged the social cohesion of our society. He is pure evil.

          Like

          • Longbow says:

            Hey, Brown is also into the UAF so dont think for one second that I support the liblabcon, the party of the EUSSR

            Like

          • Alex says:

            The UAF – what that bunch of fascists who make the B&P look all cuddly by comparison?

            What was it Churchill said, something about the fascists of the future being anti fascists?

            Like

        • 238
          Thats News says:

          Brown lost. Perhaps due to his “psycho” smile and his use of his set of handy, yet untrue, cliches.

          Like

    • 58
      bergen says:

      Took a poll at work and the result was Clegg followed not closely by Cameron with Brown a very distant third.This is in a Labour marginal.

      Like

    • 207
      Now that's what I call spin says:

      I thought Clegg came third from last

      Like

  9. 15
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    McMental is respected around the world
    Why only a few months ago the president of the USA had a top level meeting with McMental as part of his “kitchen cabinet”
    He asked Gordon to screw a door back then do the washing up
    left a $5 tiip then asked his security detail “who was that weirdo?”

    Like

    • 38
      Doris says:

      Brown is NOT respected around the world according to the international press. It is only the british press that tells us this particular lie. From what I can make out the rest of the world think Brown is a complete fool; rather tlike the court jester – he gives them all a good laugh.

      Like

      • 121
        Matthew Parris says:

        Gordon Brown is respected throughout the world for saving the global financial system. I was in Java recently and a local chap said ‘You are Matthew Parris’. I had to agree. ‘You are the world’s finest journalist and Gordon Brown is the world’s finest prime minister’. Again, I had to agree.

        Like

        • 165
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          What is it with Labour trolls pretending to be someone they patently are not online? Pathetic, no really, pathetic.

          Like

      • 185
        Nick2 says:

        British PMs since WW2 have swanned around pretending to be global players. The problem these days is that the MSM seem to promote a cult of personality – giving Blair & Brown the kind of coverage that I associate with North Korea or Venezuela.

        My wish-list for the reform of reporting would be to stop blanket coverage of a PM’s every factory visit – they are totally staged & no ‘ordinary’ person will ever meet him or flummox him with an unprepared question. Without the oxygen of media publicity they would be forced to actually meet real people – or stay besieged in No 10.

        Like

  10. 16
    Anonymous says:

    the Uk media hooked on Polls while the debt keeps on rising and another 11 of my mates just laid off.FFS

    Like

  11. 17
    Anonymous says:

    “Brown bombed big-time in prime-time. Does Maguire really think his readers will believe this hagiography rather than the evidence of their own eyes?”
    The sad thing is that not many people could be arsed to watch the programme, and were happy to wait to see what the papers had to say about it.

    Like

  12. 19
    QWERTY says:

    Sorry people but the problem with the limp dems is no one ever actually fact checks them. Last night Clegg claimed that he’d have an immigration policy based on letting people into certain parts of the Country only (sayGlasgow) and they’d have to stay there and work.

    Does he not realise this would be against the human rights act? Shami, Shami Shami and her other leftie mates like Gareth Pierce, Imran Kahn and Phil Shiner will be lining up (costing us millions in legal fees) to fight this in court.

    If Cameron had suggested this the BBC and other leftie bummers would have called him a racist.

    Like

    • 40
      Susie says:

      The LibDems can say anything they bloody like.

      Couple of months ago Clegg: “savage cuts”, Cable: “Mansion tax” or whatever the policy of the week is today.

      They don’t do law, they don’t think things through, they are not accountable and if there’s a hung parliament it would be the worst possible outcome with these lightweights any way near power.

      Like

      • 59
        Dave the UAF says:

        Dave, heavyweight? The geezer who has managed to lose 15% of his lead in 6 months, the leader of HMO who manages to opose absolutely nought. Against the biggest load of bollox to have graced the HoP for 13 long, costly and theiving years.

        Like

    • 63
      A mere peasant says:

      Uhm.. no. If QWERTY’s point was that if Dave had said what Nick had said, Dave would have been labelled a racist.

      What Nick said was not what ‘needed to be said’. What Nick said was just typical Libdem crap.

      Like

      • 126
        QWERTY says:

        Exactly, Clegg’s lot hate the idea of limiting immigration but a policy like this can be ‘sold’ to the white working class in Barking but secretly the limp dems will let Shami and her mates drag this through the courts and end up dropping it.

        Like

        • 172
          the truth about those Lib Dems and immigration says:

          Lib Dem policy is to spread millions of third world immigrants the length and breadth of Britain. So if your town or village hasn’t yet got it’s very own African or Asian ghetto, it soon will have if the Lib Dems get into a coalition government with Labour.

          Like

          • QWERTY says:

            “..African or Asian ghetto…” = core Liebour limp dem vote

            Like

          • Nick Cleggover says:

            My dream is that every town and city in the UK becomes a multi-culturally enriched melting-pot, just like Peterborough!! Ask the locals, they just love all the diversity!!

            Like

          • GGG says:

            Beware Labour and Lib Dem: the traitors within.

            A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear. The traitor is the plague.” – Cicero

            Like

          • Blue Rosette says:

            How applicable this statement by Cicero is toward East Herts District Council’s Executive

            Like

        • 186
          The great Immigration Con Trick and the problem that cannot be solved by any of the main parties says:

          The debate on immigration is a con. Sure we can limit the number of people coming from outside the EU BUT we can’t tackle the REAL problem and that is the immigration from eastern europe which is swamping several parts of the country notably Peterborough for a start.

          The argument is not about stopping Bangladeshi Balti Chefs from coming into the UK or for that matter immigrants from the old Commonwealth but it’s one no party can solve whether you set up a points system,cap or only allow them to settle in certain regions as an EU citizen has unrestricted freedom of movement ANYWHERE in the EU. We are paying the price for Blair turning down the transition arrangements that all the other EU countries except UK and Ireland put in place to limit such migration for a period of time to allow the host country to manage the influx but the Labour government for reasons known to themselves chose not to implement it.Don’t forget that in 2006 we were assured by Labour that at most only 13,000 would come from the new accession states instead it’s nearer 1.3 million!!

          Like

          • Up shit creek says:

            Phil Woolas caught lying about illegal immigration numbers. New Labour have been counting people as “deported” when they have not been on UK soil, only turned away.

            More lies from the New Labour b@stards.

            Like

          • James says:

            Andrew Neil has already taken Woolas, the immigration minister to task, after he argued black was white regarding the number of immigrants taking British jobs. Something of the order of 80%. Woolas is a liar. He has already blotted his copy book over the Gurkhas’ and should have been thrown out of government at the earliest. You can see the arguments on Neil’s blog.

            Whatever happens in the election, I don’t expext to see Woolas in a ministerial position again.

            Like

          • manicbeancounter says:

            If by a miracle Labour win, then I reckon that Woolas will get his job back. There will be nobody else to do it. Half the Labour members will be new, so the cabinet either be largely unchanged, or it will be reduced to two – the Prime Minister and the First Lord of Everything.

            Like

          • Nick2 says:

            Not only that – according to Farage within two years immigration from the rest of the world will also be controlled by the EU. If that’s true then the UK will have totally lost control of its borders.

            Like

          • Nick2 says:

            Not only that – according to Farage within two years immigration from the rest of the world will also be controlled by the EU. If that’s true then the UK will have totally lost control of its borders.

            Like

          • Blue Rosette says:

            It already has

            Like

          • South of the M4 says:

            The number has a ‘1’ and a ‘3’ in it. That is close enough for Gordon.

            Like

    • 71
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      RACIST!!!

      Like

    • 178
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      Of course the logistics of such a policy, before it was even tested in court, would be horrendously expensive and in practice unworkable. Does dimwit Clegg ever use his head before engaging his mouth?
      The worst of it was, that none pulled him up over the ridiculous statement. Though both other parties offer bullshit masquerading as policy regarding immigration, so probably felt it appropriate to say nothing, lest the scrutiny of common sense, intervened in fantasy corner.

      Like

    • 199
      Unsworth says:

      Yes, well how is this pillock going to ensure that the bastards stay put in Glasgow – or will it be merely a staging post for other parts of the country? What sort of legislation will ensure this? Or is he suggesting that they’ll have to be checked regularly – sort of like the (failing) Probation Service?

      Fucking moronic – and typical of the Lib Dems who seem to believe that the whole world thinks like them, and is equally bleeding stupid.

      Like

      • 216
        Kevin says:

        Two replies…

        1 – it works elsewhere in Europe (which Dave should have known – he should also have known the Lib Dems policy on this since they announced it previously). They probably get away with it though because they don’t bow to HR pressure so much.

        2 – it’d work because the Lib Dems would shit on the employers, not the individuals who broke their immigration terms. Because employers don’t move around and are easy to take to court. Bloody marvellous.

        Like

        • 227
          Unsworth says:

          1. Don’t think I’ve seen any research which shows it ‘working elsewhere’ – what’s your verified source?

          2. The assumptions here are a) that anyone will actually check, b) that these employers themselves don’t move about, c) that none of these immigrants will ever change jobs, companies don’t collapse or lay people off, etc and d) that there will be sufficient resource to police all this stuff.

          Anyone who believes that the immigrants will give a shit about their employers – or that employers will have any real influence on their hired labour outside of the workplace – is in denial. Do the Lib Dems now see employers as an arm of Goverment and Law-enforcement?

          If an immigrant labourer decides to abscond what powers does/will an employer have – short of reporting the matter to the cops, that is? Will the employer be expected to hunt the absconder down?

          Immigrant communities are, and always have been, highly mobile and largely unchecked. Clegg’s proposals are ill-considered, unrealistic and uncosted.

          Like

        • 244
          Angry of Atherton says:

          Great way to destroy the economy Kev…

          “Shit on the employer” for a crime commited by an individual…do you have a sign on your bedroom door saying “Genius at work”

          Like

  13. 23
    John Bull says:

    selected audience selected questions scripted and practiced answers

    ordinary folk have given up on all these shitehawks

    not one of em would dare face an unmanaged audience of working class

    Englishmen

    cowards and traitors

    who are scared to give squadies the vote in Ahfganistan

    Like

  14. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Who are the next three hopefuls? I can’t wait till we get to the real talent.

    Like

  15. 25
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Toilets McGuire – no fucker listens to the only cheerleading hack that has a good word to say about the man who ruined the UK.

    Says it all really. The bloke is obviously eating from the Trade Union trough !

    Like

  16. 27
    Man With A Very Hot Bladder says:

    Is Maguire on drugs?

    Like

  17. 28
    rparker says:

    the mirror is the new pravda, brown was patoinising and agressive and was using prepared jokes he looked like he was on something otherwise what was there to grin about, clegg’s take on education was ludicrous cameron kept his head and came out undamaged –maguire is a creep who can dish it out but cant take it removing poeple from his twitter site who dont appreciate his talents -small time and deluded he is juornalisms euriah heap he and the mirror deserve each other

    Like

    • 69

      I don’t why he’s getting any credit for those shoe horned in jokes.

      Cameron “..blah..my experience of the NHS..blah…”

      Brown “..The NHS …yes..Knock knock..who’s there..Lord Ashcroft! Boom boom…The Nhs is a very serious issue that is best left in the hands of me..Did you hear the one about the Toff and the tramp..No? I’ll smell you later..ha ha.. Now NHS ..yes..very important. I took Hazel Blears to the emergency centre and the consultant had to say to me..”Its bad news..We were able to save her.. ha ha..boom boom where’s me washboard… Harriet Harman’s so fat she has her own postcode..
      Thank you..thank you..I’m here until May 6th..try the fish..”

      Like

    • 187
      Rip Van Winkle says:

      Mr rparker. The Mirror can’t be Pravda – that name’s already taken by the BBC.

      Like

  18. 29
    concrete pump says:

    “It was a man against two boys. Gordon Brown finally reminded Britons why he’s respected around the world”.

    What Britons?

    I’m fucking ENGLISH Maguire you fucking wanker.

    Like

    • 148
      Blue Lady says:

      When Brown talks about how he is going to fuck up the health service or education, he means in England only. He is a Scottish MP who has no say over these things outside of England. The Scots vote for him but don’t have to put up with him- we do. Shouldn’t he be seeking election in the Scottish Parliament alongside Flipper Darling and the rest of the Scottish Raj?

      Like

      • 166
        Ted Bundy says:

        Absolutely correct this is the result of the absurd mess that Labour has made of the constitution. The stupid ill considered reforms that set up the puppet parliaments that are now breaking up the United Kingdom.

        Like

    • 161
      Arthur, King of the Britons says:

      We are all Britons. And I am your king!

      Like

    • 248
      Stop your fiddling Jock says:

      What’s new? Brown is consistent in keeping company with boys.

      Like

  19. 30
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Oh man it will be so funny seeing toilets try to explain the liebour May 6th demolition. And his demise will present Andrew Neil with a problem when he wants someone on the DP to represent liebour, but by then Britains Biggest Cokeusers will have u-turned to the tories anyway so all we’ll hear is how bad things were under liebour even though at the time we somehow couldn’t find the airtime to tell you so.

    Like

  20. 31

    Does Maguire really think his readers will believe this hagiography rather than the evidence of their own eyes?”

    It worked for John Sergeant. He was bigging up Brown all night.
    Hoping to get on that last House of lords peerage list?

    Backing the wrong man John. After last night the last hope for Team Brown has gone. They are too busy burning the files in the gardens, shutting and locking the gates, posting armed marines and trying to get a place on that last helicopter from the rooftop to worry about you.

    Like

  21. 32
    Brian Anthony says:

    Uncomfortable as it may be, could I take the liberty of suggesting that Mr Maguire has a more sophisticated vision than most of us.

    Where we see a man who spends less time posturing and more time doing, Mr Maguire sees the complete man – a statesman.

    There aren’t many around…

    Like

    • 49
      Piss Organ says:

      Blimey ! That stuff’s REALLY strong; be careful how much you inhale.

      Like

    • 50
      Anonymous says:

      You sound like a reasonable man who wants to debate in a mature manner. You’re in the wrong place mate.

      Like

    • 131
      concrete pump says:

      You used ‘Maguire’ and ‘sophisticated’ in the same sentence. Could you explain that please?

      Lol.

      Like

    • 135
      Legally Retarded says:

      fucking hell – I thought I had mental issues…

      LAY OFF THE MEPHEDRONE BRIAN, IT’S PLAYING HAVOC WITH YOUR BRAIN!!

      Like

    • 136
      There Really are Reds Under our Beds says:

      Where we have only seen Gorgon the loony on TV, Merkel, Sarkozy and Obama have seen the nutter up close.

      Like

  22. 36

    straw poll in my office – a dozen pretty non-political people, all more or less agreed with the first post-debate: Clegg impressed as reasonable, Cameron impressed as stable, articulate, Brown came over as angry, shifty. No way, in a million years, can Brown be said to have won that. And he *lied* again!!!! Stuff he’s been forced to recant on in the bloody commons, and he Just Did It Again. The guy is an absolute nutcase.

    But this is great, let the labour propagandists calim victory, let Brown try puff himself up for next week – the balance will have shifted. Clegg will be thinking…. I can win this one too, I can get another three or four percent in the polls, I can really do it, NOW IS THE TIME, I can pilot the libdems to second, ahead of labour!

    And he really might. He’s got maybe a 1 in five chance of it? 1 in 4 even? Better than any libdem before.

    Like

  23. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Clegg won on style. Brown won on substance. Camera-on bombed. They’re still all treasonous Hunts though.

    Like

    • 56
      Susie says:

      Brown won on substance.

      The problem is the substance is 22 carat, flawless, prime time excrement.

      Like

    • 62
      PM says:

      Cameron bombed? Discuss.

      Like

    • 191
      Rip Van Winkle says:

      Brown won on substance? What substance is that then? Coke? M-Cat?

      Like

      • 256
        Anonymous says:

        More or less all the policies actually. For example, Brown spoke about net immigration reducing, which may very well be true. The more white English people flee from this shithole the more foreigners can arrive and yet we could still have falling net immigration. Camera-on couldn’t point out the truth cos that’s racist, innit. Even though the swamping of the English by vast numbers of foreigners is exactly what bothers almost all English people except traitors and inadequates.

        Also, Brown has ensured the fuckwit tories are going to lose another election. Ha ha ha.

        They’re still all treasonous cυnts though.

        Like

  24. 41
    Penfold says:

    Whatever Maguire’s on needs to be banned. Jesus, if its put in the water supply we’ll be tripping off to the ballot box with one name on our minds.

    Oh well, never mind, perhaps its just him, the Left are always quite self-delusional, some might say paranoid schizophrenic, others just quite mad and totally disconnected from reality.

    Take your choice, but at least Maguires’ a good party man, following the line come what may.

    Like

  25. 51
    I think Nick will agree with me says:

    Brown was so nauseatingly patronising with Clegg it reminded me of how he keeps trying to lick Obama’s arse. No courage, no pride

    Like

    • 67
      Susie says:

      Clegg was fending off the elderly gay boy’s attentions throughout.

      Sooooo embarrassing! Clegg almost had my sympathy.

      Like

  26. 52
    Mary Hinge says:

    Who the fuck buys the mirror for its political commentary! ive only ever bought for the freebies they give out.

    p.s Toilets your a trod in dog turd.

    Like

  27. 53
    Bit of respect, please says:

    In relation to the audience member who began his question: “Hi guys”, what was the correct form of response?

    Yo?

    Like

  28. 55
    Jac says:

    I am still trying to figure out what everyone else was watching – the whole Clegg approach was so absolutely transparent and catered for the ‘what do you most want to hear’ mob that I find hacks and pundits backing it absolutely amazing. Brown’s smirking in different places betrayed his ignorance of real issues, whilst Dave struggled to understand why he was actually having to defend himself from these two idiots!

    The pundits on the Labour side are all living in Cloud Cuckoo land with Kevin leading the way, give him some pom poms and a short skirt and get it over with!

    Like

  29. 60
    PM says:

    If Cameron’s good enough for Gary Barlow, he’s good enough for me.

    Like

  30. 64
    Gary Glitter says:

    You can’t polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter.

    Like

  31. 68
    10K_Cleggie says:

    I’m a happy little bunnie
    I’m a happy little boy
    All I did was talk pure bullshit
    People watching thought it coy!

    Hairy cactus anyone?

    Like

  32. 73
    RichYork says:

    A great deal of talk about body language. Did anyone else notice what happened at the end of the debate when Gordon Brown rushed out to the audience, Cameron appeared to beckon Nick Clegg back, he happily obliged and they both stood together for a while leaving Gordon Brown stranded.

    Two things, firstly it doesn’t say much for Labours chances of working with the LibDems if he prefers to stand with Cameron and secondly Nick Clegg did appear to be at David Camerons beck and call.

    Just a thought

    Like

    • 81

      They were following the rules…

      Also, the cameras were not to be turned on the audience, another rule, so Broon’s gladhanding will haev given few benefits. Suprised he did it, knowing that.

      Like

      • 88
        RichYork says:

        I thought Brown looked desperate in doing that, but thats just my view. As I said before it also did look like Cameron was on leading of Nick Clegg and certainly not the other way around.

        Like

      • 91
        RichYork says:

        If you’ve got Sky Plus its worth a look you’ll see what I mean. Apologies for ridiculous syntax in my last message.

        Like

    • 109
      Not long until Labour gone says:

      Brown rushed down those steps to be first to shake hands, trying to give the final impression to viewers that he was leading the others. I would guess that is the reason they did not follow directly behind.

      Browns monologue tone grinds on me, was good to see itv’s live graph show the same form the participants.

      Like

      • 115
        RichYork says:

        Much as I think that Brown looked silly rushing straight off stage, thats not really my point.

        If you get a chance to look at it again, just watch the body language between Cameron and Clegg. Who do you think is in charge? Who is leading and who is following? and What does it say about the isolation of Brown?

        Like

  33. 74
    Terror Tweet says:

    Osama Bin Laden goes on Facebook

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23825162-osama-bin-laden-goes-on-facebook.do

    He’ll be Tweeting next. Wonder if Sarah will follow him.

    Like

  34. 79
    Blue Rosette says:

    Straw Poll in our office – Clegg first by some lengths, Cameron second with plenty of wind left, and noone could remember the old ugly bitter man’s name

    Like

  35. 82
    Rob says:

    Did the Prime Mentalist come across as a positive leader? Did he have positive ideas? Did he appear to have a positive view of the world? Nah he wants us to vote him back for another 5 years to give him the chance to clear up 13 years of floating turds that HIS party dropped.

    Its a shame GB couldn’t do anything but want to attack the others and talk little about what HIS policies are, other than to rehash the same limp and feeble statements that he knows are untruths, like the Police funding issue, and so on.

    Did anyone try and make a bet on how long it would be before GB uttered “Ashcroft” and what price did they get?

    Like

  36. 84
    Small but perfectly formed says:

    They’re going to have trouble getting viewers next week. They clash with Liverpool and Fulham in the big footie games.

    Like

  37. 87
    Gordon Brown says:

    ‘Dear Iceland, I said send CASH’

    Like

  38. 92
    James says:

    McGuire is a Labour Hack. Never any objective reporting.

    The Mirror, The Daily record. Both from of the same bedpan. Why don’t these rags put country before party loyalties? Do they really want the UK to continue to sink into the mire?

    As far as the debate was concerned, as a politics watcher I had heard it all before and it was the same old, same old. Boring!

    Like

    • 155
      rahrahrasputin says:

      They probably do put the Country first- unfortunately it’s not the same country that we all live in.

      Like

    • 173
      Stop Funding The Labour Party Spin Machine With My Licence Fee says:

      Classic quote from Yes Minister:

      The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country
      The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country
      The Times is read by people who actually do run the country
      the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country
      the Financial Times is read by people who own the country
      The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country
      The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is
      Sun readers don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big t*ts!

      Like

  39. 93
    Anonymous says:

    In what alternative universe did Brown ‘bomb big time’, Guido? He was OK – neither as bad as some thought he would be, nor particularly great either.

    Given the expectations, and all the claims made about how he would batter Brown, I would say that it was Call Me Dave who bombed.

    Like

  40. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s face it Maguire would have supported a talking parrot if it’s perch was in the red corner. Broon, was negative, ill at ease & predictably boring! I’ve just put a bet on that he’ll lose all three debates. Very few people take Maguire seriously & such poor judgement runs through the Mirror…is it any wonder that it circulation declines month-by-month!

    Like

  41. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Nick Clegg can go now back to his party and say “prepare for government” ……

    Like

    • 103
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      What Steel actually said to his followers was ‘Go back to your constituencies and effing stay there’.

      Like

  42. 98
    Catflap says:

    Maguire is a Cu*t and Clegg is a typical Pro EU tit who believes it is the EU who has kept the peace in central Europe.
    So NATO,100,000 American troops in Germany and Nuclear weapons held by Britain and France had fuck all to do with it then Nick?
    EU propaganda bollocks to justify their own existance.
    Did I mention Maguire is a Cu*t?
    In all the confusion I just plumb forgot.

    Like

  43. 100
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Cameron looks more and more like Steve Bell’s cartoon. Brown looked like a child molester. Clegg looked like Cameron’s slightly less intelligent little brother. Taken all round a good night’s entertainment that confirms me in my belief that the wisest thing is ‘Vote for Nobody’.

    Nobody will keep election promises. Nobody will listen to your concerns. Nobody will help the poor and the unemployed. Nobody cares. If Nobody is elected, things will be better for everyone.

    Like

    • 128
      Freddy Flintof says:

      And there is a HIGE DEFICIT and ACCULATED DEBT which NONE is talking about..

      That is the elephant in the room about which all three are shit scared…

      Any one who gets elected or any coalition will have to take the knife to public spending in a bigger way than Mrs T…

      Since they are not speaking about it this will clarely lead to rioting etc…

      Much better at least to speak about it….

      Like

      • 152
        There Really are Reds Under our Beds says:

        They have decided that the public are too thick to handle the truth so they keep blethering on about daft plans to spend yet more money. They are probably correct in their analysis as far as the floating vote goes.

        However, assuming a change in government I expect a public broadcast about “state of emergency in public finances” with all manifesto promises put on hold.

        Like

  44. 107
    Don't be too hard on him Guido . .. says:

    He’s probably referring to his finger-puppet Gordoom – the one he keeps in a box under his bed.

    Like

  45. 108
    Adios el Gordo says:

    it must be nice being the only paper supporting labour and have then fawn all over you all of the time but if he looks at the demographic of people buying the paper and therefore his nonsense he must get very depressed.

    Like

    • 140
      Engineer says:

      He gets £100,000 per annum plus for writing in the Mirror. He’s laughing all the way to the bank.

      See also Pollytwaddle, Sir Michael Shite, Paxman, and a host of others. Jeff Randall and Boris aren’t on short rations, either.

      Like

      • 197
        AC1 says:

        Souls aren’t cheap to buy you know…

        Like

        • 252
          B'Bub c/o the underworld says:

          Oh I don’t know. Gordo’s was cheaper than that creep Faustas’. Couple of years as PM – albeit doing my work – then he’s mine.

          Like

  46. 110
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    LATEST NEWS: Labour supporter says Brown won; Tory supporter says Cameron won; LibDem supporter says Clegg won.

    Like

  47. 114
    robbo says:

    how come as reported in the mail that the jewish lad who asked a question also asked gwiffin a question on question time.
    And he lives in Brent, miles away from manchester.

    Like

  48. 119
    Freddy Flintoff says:

    Toilets is a genetic shit

    How about that….

    Like

    • 142
      MI5 says:

      With a chip on his shoulder the size of the Gherkin….

      His hatred must be eating him up ….

      Even when he laughs he’s twisted…

      Like

  49. 123
    Who, for 13 years, has lied, bullied, and blustered 'his' way through any attempt to question 'him'? says:

    Gorgon the Bellicose Moron

    Like

  50. 129
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    I sold Gold at the bottom and in the polls I came bottom…….

    The Times/Populus
    (Clegg 61%, Cameron 22%, Brown 17%)
    ITV/ComRes
    (Clegg 43%, Cameron 26%, Brown 20%)
    YouGov
    (Clegg 51%, Cameron 29%, Brown 19%)
    Angus Reid
    (Clegg 47%, Cameron 21%, Brown 19%)

    Like

  51. 132
    RavingMad says:

    having seen Kevin Maguire on the beeb earlier I’m of the opinion that he’s turning into an Alistair Darling look-alike – dark eyebrows and grey/white hair

    Like

  52. 141
    Jac says:

    We might all hate BNP diatribe on immigration, but sadly it resonates with people who know little better and who are frankly fed up with PC politics and EU making our laws and telling us who and what we can and can’t have any control over.

    That is why I think the BNP will gain votes, because unless the larger parties actually find a palatable way of saying what they are saying, then they will win.

    Like

  53. 149
    Clarence says:

    Watching the debate reminded me of Monty Python’s Boxing Tonight sketch. Actually, it was like watching a boxing match between an ageing, overweight sumo wrestler and two super-fit young middleweights. Brown wasn’t as terrible as he could have been but he looked tired, plodding and bereft of ideas – rather like his government.

    If Brown were a horse, it would be time to take him out to the paddock and shoot him. Humanely, of course.

    Like

  54. 150
    bellend says:

    Two transvestite lefty knob jockys

    Brown will be out canvassing today with Eddie Izzard. Now that has to be a caption contest special.

    Like

  55. 154
    Andy Coulson says:

    Guido Fawkes just ‘opened’ for David Cameron in Nantwich. With a choir.

    Like

  56. 156
    Lomax says:

    They have words in the Daily Mirror now? Not seen it for several years, and I seem to recall that then it was all cartoons/pictures. If they do, indeed, have words written in the Daily Mirror, then it backs up Broon/Testicles assertion that educational standards are rising fast – Labour supporters can now read hahahahah

    Like

  57. 168
    Gordon Brown says:

    “Come on David, give us your answer, this isn’t question time David, it’s answer time, what is your answer David?”

    Like

  58. 169
    Eric Pickles says:

    Bugger this Leader debate kafuffle ………… I’m voting for the first one to call one of the others a Hunt ……

    Like

  59. 176
    Anonymous says:

    Does anyone actually buy the Mirror? Amazing if they do.

    Like

  60. 182
    Gordon Brown's Press Officer says:

    ITV News says David Cameron is a **** live on air (hoon)

    Well, sort of…

    The perils of combining live news broadcasting, politicians and online interactive viewer forums were shown off in all their glory last night following the much-hyped UK leaders debate in Manchester.

    Proving the old broadcasting adage that you should ‘never work with children, animals or unmoderated online commentary’, ITV News encouraged its viewers to get involved with the political debate at its website.

    The camera then cut from Mark Austin to a screen-shot of said debate and a rather unflattering comment on David Cameron from a Mr Nick Brett.

    You can see for yourself what he had to say about him below.

    Kudos to Austin for swallowing his embarrassment, laughter and anything else that was due to leap out of him.

    Like

  61. 183
    Jonah Watch says:

    From what I can see not much has been made of Brown’s dodgy statistics on
    – immigration
    – police on the beat.

    Emily Maitlis picked this up with postie but I have not seen much since….

    Like

  62. 188
    ccc says:

    Daily Mirror readers probably believe all that crap written by Toilets. You have to be incredibly thick and pig-ignorant to buy that down-market pinko rag in the first place.

    Like

  63. 192
    Dez says:

    Lanky thicko David “African Chief” Lammy on DP calling for a new LibLab Pact.

    It’s just like the seventies…….but much worse.

    Like

  64. 194
    Subliminal says:

    So Dave recruits a pop star and Gordon a Transvestite.

    Like

  65. 228
    steve says:

    I don’t get this. We do not have a President nor a constitution that supports that role and yet here we are all pretending that we are voting for a President.

    This has in fact become an accepted state of affairs by the general media as
    Blair and NewZanuLabour created this role out of thin air, castrated the oversight and independence of Parliament and created a mini-dicatorship run by about 10 people. About this not a squeak was heard.

    So I am faced with voting in a president with no separation of Executive/Legislative and a Judiciary that cannot rule on legislation.

    How did we come to this. We should either accept this state of affairs and have a decent constitutional balance or get rid of the dominant role of the party machinery in Parliament.

    Oh wait I just realised I am living in the real world and I have to put up with this rubbish.

    As a side note if Brown says we can have the right to take over a failing school and bring in someone else to run it why can we not bring in a President from abroad and his/her cabinet to run the UK (say from Sweden or Singapore).

    Seems like outsourcing to people with a track record in not f**king up everything they touch would be a good idea. I would vote for that.

    Like

  66. 233
    ian e says:

    Is that some flames I see emerging from toilets’ nether regions?

    Like

  67. 240
    Alex says:

    Isn’t it about time Maguire got a job that was more at his level? I’m sure there must be a school magazine somewhere that would like a part time employee a couple of days a month to show their kids how to not be a journalist.

    Like

  68. 247

    A man versus two boys?

    Calling Gordon Brown a boy is pushing it a bit, he’s getting on for 60.

    Like

  69. 249
    Stu says:

    Average Mirror reader has an IQs less than 3 so they probably think scumbag liar maguire is telling the truth.

    Like

  70. 250
    miking: A revue says:

    mike gave ruin

    Like

  71. 255
    50 Calibre says:

    Quite what Maguire is going to do for a living after the election could be interesting…

    Like

  72. 257

    […] Mirror’s Kevin Maguire is on another […]

    Like


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Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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