April 16th, 2010

Guy News : Debate Debate Debate!


  1. 1

    Nae bad laddie. Emily appears to have recovered from the Guycopter buzzcut, too.

  2. 2
    Twat a Fuckwit when you see one says:

    Twat the Fuckwit reporter.

  3. 3
    Mr Majestyk says:

    As someone who wants the Tories to win, I really despaired of Cameron’s softly softly approach at the debate. Jonah was interrupting, asking questions, making jokes, and Cameron didn’t make any of the sharp comebacks he usually makes at PMQs. He needs to get tough and stick the knife in at the next two debates. Times’s running out and he can’t pull his punches anymore. There’s a ton of things he can go on the attack with and provoke Brown’s temper. I want that Hunt shown up so he can board the first train back to Killcalldee on May 7.

    • 7
      Longbow says:

      Would he
      (call me Dave) have the balls to stand firm for this country, would he have the vapours should he need to order a nuclear strike, would he have the bottle to inform President van Rumpty where to stick it, wadda bout if the call came at 0545 when he is feeding the baby.
      He dosent seem able to take on a deluded scot mong , or his younger brother.
      These things trouble me, he does have a history of not meaning what he says.
      I wish he was a right bastard who had his own mind instead of a man inclined to be wishy washy,.

    • 9
      public scrutiny says:

      Half way through the Debate I am sure Browns bottom teeth began to bleed, and towards the end he did almost lose his temper, plenty of time for the televised ‘Brown Breakdown’, might even get a 52″ plasma

    • 16
      cyberbrits says:

      Brown doesn’t stay there though. Wasn’t even born there. It’s used as a trick to trick people and get votes, just like they keep using this “Scottish” Labour (no such thing).

      Brown lives approx 20 miles away in what is a Lib Dem controlled seat. Even the region’s council is a Lib Dem/SNP coalition – not Labour.

    • 84
      Naked Gordon says:

      Poo goes on the potty Martin, not back in your mouth.

    • 188
      Busted nokia says:

      I could be wrong – but I doubt he will bomb in weeks 2 and 3. He will revise his plans in light of last nights performance – if not well then I guess he will have muffed it..

  4. 4
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Its often been said Cast Iron Cameron looks like a game show host, well here’s how things would look if Bruin had been one: http://tinyurl.com/y74ksxj

  5. 5
    Jonah is a giant twat says:

    If any of you are familiar with the infamous Budd Dwyer incident, you’ll understand when I say I wish McRuin would do the same.

  6. 10
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Boris gees up CCHQ. Hilarious scenes of him riding a scooter.

    • 71
      Nick2 says:

      Well, not that hilarious.

      He’s as calculating and manipulative as Tony Blair was. Maybe he’s nearer the side of the angels though.

  7. 12
    M.T. Bucket says:

    The ”y” is just right of the t.

  8. 13
    Longbow says:

    Gorgon has got the hang of this Exfactor thing, he is bouncing about like Christies lunch box. Never seen him so fucking happy ever, this is weird.
    Not good Dave, should have done the early work last night instead of treating brown like a disabled person who you had to be nice to. Next time you will look shit if you suddenly change tact.

    • 24

      Regrettably if Dave doesn’t cut the Prime Muffinhead slack in these sorts of circs the papers liken it to an able-minded person shouting down a mongoloid.

      • 28
        Longbow says:

        Sod the papers, this is voter led effect kicking in, you notice that this is a very diferent election, the really first internet, twitter, facebook not the papers. The papers are not taken seriously any more, the world has moved on.

        • 66
          Call me Infidel says:

          I disgree. TT is spot on. If Cameron goes on the attack the media, not just the papers, will portray him as a baby eating tory sticking the boot in to a raspberry ripple. Cameron has to box clever to beat Brown. The man may be a putz, but he has survived numerous coup attempts and will use any trick he can to cling on to pwer.

        • 86
          Nick2 says:

          If Dave really wants to be taken seriously, why doesn’t he TELL THE TRUTH? Clegg said almost those exact words then spun his immigration candy floss – I’d be more inclined to vote for Dave if he actually told the truth about

          1) Europe & our sovereignty
          2) Debt crisis & chronic public overspending (don’t occasionally trot out the £1 in £4 borrowed – tell people what the annual interest bill per head will be next year)
          3) Immigration & our powerlessness to deal with it

          then once again offered

  9. 18
    universal hiss says:

    I managed 45 minutes of the debate before sighing & dropping out & doing something else.

    The superficial Clegg sounded good if you disregarded anything he said. Dave was rather boring.Gordon was just Gordon. Nothing to see except to provide acres of nothingness from media & blogs.

    I sit in the middle of a safe SNP seat so there is nothing I can do except spit venom at the telly.

    • 23
      I'm the Heir to Blair Tony Cameron (hear my soundbites roar!) says:

      Dave Blair isn’t superficial at all

  10. 19
    wavy davy says:

    did you see davy on ITV news ?
    he almost burst into tears when the interviewer mocked him about being beaten by a younger more energetic more interesting debater
    his widdle pudgy wavy davy face woz all sad

  11. 20
    Jan says:

    RTE (Ireland) Channel 1 has London corrrespondent Brian O’Connell saying that Nick Clegg’s popularity will mean that David Cameron will lose seats to the LibDums.Not very balanced report as no mention of McDoom.As far as I can see the Irish do not like the Tories.With all the UK channels so anti-Tory and so pro-Nu-Liebor I would be surprised if the Tories got any seats at all.The media really is anti-Tory (except perhaps Geoff Randall on Sky).QT last night was another stitch-up. Having said that old Sarah Teather didn’t get an easy time with Andrew Neil on This Week.She was sickly.As her chances of winning Brent Central are not that great I wonder if we will be seeing more of her on TV as she has been all over the media the last few days.Perhaps she is touting for a job in the meeja.It sickens me that people like her who had a private education are so against anybody else having the same advantage. Neil was ruthless with her and she deserved it because as ususal she was talking claptrap.Ulrika Jonsson was surprisingly good on This Week,I’d like to see her again.She can be incredibly childish.I do get sick of the idiots they usually have on the show.It’s usually stuffed to the gills with lefties from The Guardian and The Observer and showbiz types who make idiots of themselves.They even had Simon Schama on and he was not super-hyped like last week.(What was he on last week on QT?).Lady Abbott was absent and instead we had Purnell. Portillo very good.

    • 30
      universal hiss says:

      Good grief. So what is Schama like when he is hyped? I wanted to slap him.There again I wanted to slap the rest of them except Portillo.

      • 165
        Manji Dogg says:

        Read a book by that Schama fellow once. Not altogether surprised to find that he’s a total sphincter.

  12. 25
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    Have to agree! Not only that all three of them were complete hoons. No choice at all. Bring on a debate in which UKIP get a say, set Mr farrage on them, that would really be interesting!

  13. 26
    Conservatives says:

    Boris Johnson 4 PM. Fuck Euro Dave.

  14. 27
    RichYork says:

    One interesting development from the debate is what will happen if the Conservative vote holds up reasonably well but the Labour vote drops off significantly to the LibDems.

    We aren’t talking LibDems being the new second party exactly but a decent rise in vote for them could actually do what an increase in the Tory vote will not, that is to gain a decent majority for the conservatives.

    Thats right Gordon Brown losing out to Nick Clegg is just as, or maybe more, useful to David Cameron than David Cameron winning the debate.

    • 32
      concrete pump says:

      Labour voting twats would be much more likely to give a vote to the Limp Dongs in the upcoming GE than Tories.

    • 34
      P1P2 says:

      Nice idea if conservative voters don’t ever split off to the lib dems but we all know that they do and that first past the post means 40% at least is still needed.

    • 35
      Anonymous says:

      Don’t put so much faith in the voters; a lot of them are morons.

      Brown spent the whole debate gurning madly, using statistics which had already been deemed illegal to use as they were complete shit, failed to understand the most basic logical arguments, lied his arse off about everything, talked over his opponents like a schoolboy with an asbo, completely shirked any responsibility of anything that’s happened despite being in charge of the money/country for the last 13 years and causing the worst economic collapse and biggest debt in history, and his entire demeanor was that of a completely insane fuckwit who couldn’t understand even the most basic ideas (for example he simply didn’t understand that spending money wisely was a good idea; instead he just saw spending money in itself as a benefit, even if the money was spent as fuel for a bonfire), yet still 20% to 30% of the people polled thought he won the debate.

      A lot of the electorate are unbelievably stupid, I just hope that the voters who do have at least some grip of reality and some semblence of intelligence go out and vote to outweigh the mindless “my grandad voted labour, so i’d vote labour, even if they promise to cut off my legs with a rusty saw” brigade.

    • 41
      streamfisher says:

      Blah de blah!, pond life the lot of them.

    • 42
      nell says:

      I’ve been hoping to see the LibDems become the 2nd party over labour.

      Last night in the snap polls after the debate they managed it and labour got relegated to third party.

      It might not last but then again if it does it might see the libdems take votes off labour in those labour marginals that the tories need to win. That would be a good thing for the tories and also decimate labour. EdBalls, philhope, jacquismith all losing their seats ……

      May 6th might be an entertaining night

      • 65
        Anonymous says:

        and the 20 marginals the tories need to win off the lib dems ?

        • 121
          nell says:

          The tories might struggle there if the libdems credit stays high through the next two debates.

          But let’s not forget the old adage ‘a week is a long time in politics’

    • 174
      Dudley South says:

      Would be satisfying to think that Clogg’s ‘remarkable performance’ in ‘winning’ the ‘debates’ might actually hand victory to the Tories, costing him the Ministry of Paper Clips in a future Lib-Lab coalition. Masterful play by Dave. Or possibly blind luck.

  15. 31
    Engineer says:

    Hmmm. So we have Cameron, who’s policies don’t stack up, Clegg, who’s policies don’t stack up, and Brown, who’s policies haven’t stacked up for 13 years.

    So who’s policies don’t stack up least? Or stack up best?

    Brown – yes, we goofed off with pensions, the economy, immigration and quietly forgot about the EU referendum, but we promise not to do it again.

    Clegg – we’ll give up the Nuclear deterrent, speed up EU integration and give away lots of lovely tax breaks we can’t afford.

    Cameron – well at least he’s not the other two.

    Cameron gets it by default.

  16. 33
    Mr Plum says:

    Well that’s it for party politics then, forget policies, unite and ashcroft might as well give up on the funding, no more manifestos.
    We will just decide who our next government will be by the way party leader stares at the camera, whether he pulls the odd funny face, if he puts his hand in his pockets.
    Much simpler all round really, avoids having to think too much, then the pollsters can just tell us who the winner is and who to vote for.

  17. 37
    Andrew Barton says:

    I’m sorry Nick, but I just can’t vote for anyone who thinks a squillion is a real number.

  18. 39
    UK Debt Bomb is bigger than Hiroshima says:

    Dave lost my vote last night he has had MONTHS of free reign to land the deathblow on Labour and instead he gives them a tickle and a massage. I bet the Conservative activists who have had to hand out leaflets and do all the hard work are feeling betrayed as well.

    What a spineless gimp.

    • 79
      Mr Plum says:

      Not really, I thought he did ok.
      Just read Norms blog he seems to sum it up for me.
      To switch your vote on that debate suggests a lack of backbone too.

      • 87
        Longbow says:

        Its the compound factor which has finally lost those who were hanging on hoping for no more let downs. Losing over 20% of a lead has put the tories on the back foot when they saw a easy walk. Its a what the fuck happened moment.

  19. 43
    Engineer says:

    That’s spin. The Loony Bike only does 10mph with the tide. Against the tide, it’s more like -10mph.

    On canals, they’re much more effective if you can find one with a slope.

    Still, credit for trying.

    • 58
      Another Engineer says:

      I was once involved in a (not entirely serious) project with something like that. Single hulled, so like a bicycle except without the extra stability from the angular momentum of the wheels.

      Tried to add a hydrofoil.

      Got wet.

      It did move reasonably fast in a straight line, and had a better view than a rowing scull.

      • 69
        concrete pump says:

        You are Peter Duncan and i claim my Blue Peter badge, which incidentally i never got for that ‘globe’ project when i was a kid.

        You bastard.

        And Simon Groom can fuck off as well!

        • 82
          John Noakes says:

          Get down, Shep!

        • 99
          Too bad about Valerie Singleton says:

          Murky goings on at Blue Peter, with cats and whatnot dying and being dyed in mysterious circumstances. Apparently they had 43 Goldies, 29 of which were black but dipped in peroxide just before the show. “Here’s one we did earlier.”

          Then what about the Blue Peter Garden being vandalised by Percy Thrower when he was out of his skull on PCP and ether? The Home Office hushed it all up, of course, it won’t come out of the secret archives till 2039.

  20. 45
    Ratsniffer says:

    One thing that really makes my piles start to throb is when I see a celeb doing a party political broadcast. None more so than Eddie friggin’ Izzard.

    What is it about celebs? They are all wealthy enough to be totally insulated from labour’s 13 years of madness. They can afford to live in low crime areas, they can afford fancy accountants, and they can send their kids (if they have any) to decent schools.
    They can afford private medicine, should they get cancer and be refused the latest drug by the NHS. They can afford to travel first class, while the rest of us have to endure pig class.

    So, Eddie dearest, try having a normal income, try supporting a family, try having a normal private pension, eroded by your beloved Brown in his eagerness to grab a few more billion in taxes so he could carry on creating more public sector jobs to keep his union chums happy.

    Try being normal, Eddie, and you might think twice before you vote labour.

    • 53
      universal hiss says:

      Got it in one.

      I used to like Izzard until he did the running around the room doing marathons shouting look at me & charadee & now endorsing Labour. Vomit & fuck off.

      Did you read the JK Rowling rant the other day? That was vomit making too.

    • 76
      pigs in space says:

      Most of the old school comedians in the 70′s used to right wing, 83% top rate of tax, 98% on investment income being no laughing matter. These Thatcher hating comedians can afford it since her government cut the top rate to 40%, so they can keep 60% of their income rather than just 17%. Basically 3/4 of their income is thanks to Margaret Thatcher. Never hear them thanking her though. Funny that.

      • 114
        Mr Plum says:

        I don’t think the old school comedians were right wing the were just comedians.

      • 123
        Jan says:

        From Skinner,Baddiel,Wax,Merton,Elton,talentless Billy Bragg,all that lot on Mock The Week,Man with big big head Marcus Bogstick (he’s got the same shaped head as that weird Labour bloke who works for McDoom who looks as if he was delivered by forceps and would be ideal as Lurch in the Addams Family) Stephen Fry and all the other Nu-Liebor luvvies make me sick. I don’t remember geniuses like Peter Sellers,Michael Bentine or Spike Milligan commenting on politics.They were too busy making people laugh. The tossers now are not funny. At least Frankie Boyle is not partisan.He often is far too near the mark but does not appar to be a McDoom worshipper.

        • 147
          Jan says:

          I’ve been modded as I have just written some stuff about Nu-Liebor comedians.so had a look on TV,I’ve just seen one Eddie Izzard doing a party political.I caught the bit about millionaires and class.I don’t care a toss about class.Most of these Nu-Liebor f……..g jokers are middle class anyway. Why are they so jealous of the upper middle class and the aristocracy? They are pathetic. Mandlescum,Balls and Co have had a far easier life than my family but we are not at all bitter and twisted and jealous of people who happen to have been born with money and possessions.It’s what happens to you in life that counts.From where we started my family have done incredibly well. We are comfortable because we worked really hard.We’ve had more than our fair share of sadness and real suffering. The sooner McDoom and his class-ridden ignorant f……….rs get voted out the better.

          • From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

            yes yes yes drone on Eddie is a very very funny comedian with a strong sense of social justice woven into his very soul…hes also a jolly good friend who I admire enormously. We spend hours trying each other’s clothes on between in-depth political conversations that go on for hours and hours behind closed doors…stop whining and get one of his videos out that’ll cheer you and your family up for weeks.

          • nell says:

            Indeed – eddie izzard, educated at an expensive independent school rather like balls , darling and bliars. (not to mention harpyharriet)

            Declares himself as a transvestite in the manner of herman goering .

            Yes I think that sounds very like today’s uncaring, unconnected labour party that knows absolutely sod all ( excuse my french) about the real working classes!!!

          • From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

            you’ve got it in one…do you think Gordon Tony and I spent all those years in the wilderness spliffing our way through life to end up creating new labour to help plebs and ordinary hard working people…get real Nellie and stick to packing your trunk.

          • revolting peasant says:

            Eddie Izzard is a shit comedian.
            And an even worse actor.
            The marathon running was pretty impressive though.

          • nell says:

            Unfortunately eddie izzard’s marathon running is not the issue.

            The Issue is the lack of Labour Party’s caring for the real working classes and Labour ministers absolute dedication to their own troughing as demonstrated by mandy and bliar. The Chief troughers of all time!!!

            And the the secondary troughers ( devine, morley, chater, jacqui, the carrot topped one, balls/yvette, martin, uddin (Oh Yes let’s not forget her!!)……….)

            My goodness we’re just spoilt for choice aren’t we???

          • Anonymous says:

            quite right Nell

          • Anonymous says:

            Gibraltar is more important than Darfur!

          • From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

            Tofus more important than Turkey bird brain so what…stick to UKIP they’re anonymous enough to suit your brand of whine.

          • From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

            you’re deluded we in the labour party never put ourselves first its the public we serve and they’re so stupid we know we can get away with anything…look at the last 13 years our record stands for itself…you’ve never had it so good ..I am sure you mean well but living in peterborough has affected your take on the reality in this country we infect… we’re in power and you plebs can kiss our rings like poor people did to kings in the old days.

          • revolting peasant says:

            Just seen Brown and Izzard on the BBC news campagning at a Brighton school.
            Have they both been CRB checked?

    • 117
      Feck Off NuLAb says:

      Placating their own conscience is the game, at no cost to themselves!

    • 187
      Dudley South says:

      He ran past my farm recently, although I can’t say I was impressed. Looked like a short fat Julian Clary half way through a cardiac infarction. Most bizarre running style. Was muttering to himself. I thought he might have escaped from the local ‘Secure Unit’. Carrying a little EU flag. Was tempted to shoot the bugger, put him out of his misery.

  21. 48
    Old soldier says:

    Sorry chaps, Dave is a wally. Where’s David Davies and Ken Clarke when you need them, chaps with cojones not a Carlton TV CV

  22. 50
    Sarah Tweety says:

    Am I still getting the £250000?

    Can I collect it on May 7th?

    Can I get out of number 10 by the back door?

  23. 51
    HOPE says:

    The Leader’s debate told us one thing and one thing only.

    Labour, Conservative and Liberal are much the same. Why all 3 want to chain us to Brussels Eurocrats I do NOT understand.

    UKIP is now the only hope.

    • 103
      Anonymous - ANOTHER ONE! says:

      If only they were standing in my constituency. What’s amazing is that the nearest UKIP candidate is standing against Andy Love, whose electorate would elect Sidney Cooke if he wore a red rosette.

    • 105
      Ted Kennedy says:

      Er, you’re new here, aren’t you?

    • 112
      Jan says:

      Vote UKIP get McDoom. Vote LibDum get Cameron.

  24. 52
    A. Voter says:

    Tory vote is rock solid – all the silly sods who were duped by Blair are back in the fold and angry for revenge. There are very few Tory voters who protest by voting Lib Dem, when they are really pissed off they don’t vote at all or vote Labour. No fucking about, they let the party know they’re angry with a kick in the bollocks by abstaining or voting for the party that can beat them.

    Labour voters are different. They are tribal. They can’t even consider voting for the hated “tories” because they believe the tales their grandparents told them of “the tories” coming round and eating their first born child. So, when even THEY are completely pissed off with Labour, they just don’t vote. The thickest of them will vote B&P or Green, but mostly they don’t vote.

    The decision to let Clegg debate on an even footing with the big two parties on prime time telly is going to fuck Labour utterly and completely. The Labour voters who would not have bothered voting in this election and are too bright to vote B&P or Green will now realise they can vote for someone like Cameron who isn’t Cameron.

    All bets are off regarding the traditional marginals. Seats that you could never imagine changing hands will do so because the left vote will split completely.

    The thought of James Gordon Brown finding himself the leader of the third biggest party in Parliament and having to ask his two questions to Cameron at PMQ’s from the place where Nick Clegg usually sits is too delicious to contemplate.

    • 57
      Cameron had a 26 point lead. Gone. says:

      Tory vote is rock solid.

    • 60
      all the silly sods who were duped by Blair are back in the fold and angry for revenge says:

    • 75
      universal hiss says:

      Depends where you live. My daughter wll be voting for the first time. Her consituency has a Labour majority of 400 over the Limp dems with the cons a long,long way behind.

      So I’ve been teaching her the delights of tactical voting.Anything but Liebour.

      • 158
        statechaos says:

        Tactical voting is a waste of time in this election. My daughter loathes the LibDems but was going to vote for them because the Tories don’t stand a chance. I said NO, if the Tories get the largest percentage of the overall vote but not the most seats of a single party, will the electorate stand for it? The travesty that is our so-called democracy will be exposed for all to see and we will be no better than a banana republic with an economy to match.

    • 118
      nell says:

      The core votes of all parties ‘may be’ rock solid.

      But what bliar came to understand, and maggie always knew, is that what wins and loses elections is the floating vote. None of the parties can win on their core vote!

      But I agree with you about the libdems overtaking labour to become the 2nd party in Parliament. That indeed would be a lovely moment if it were to happen!!

      • 134
        Mr Plum says:

        Yes, but they are still the same old Lib Dems give them a sniff of power and they will be into a Lib Lab pact before you can blink.
        Same old cranky policies, get rid of trident, always been soft on crime and immigration would surrender even more power to the EU. Not to mention the mansion tax.

        • 161
          nell says:

          Well of course the liberals were always the anti-war party – that policy and the advent of a new independent labour party in the early part of the 20th century (pre and then post WW1 where the working classes were so betrayed by the liberals) is what pretty much displaced the liberals, as one of the two ruling parties!!

          But now Labour has pretty much destroyed all its credentials over the last 13 years as being the party of the working classes. They are clearly, all of them, troughing big-time for themselves and it is very obvious. Balls/yvette = mortgage/office/expenses claims far in excess of what any normal family with two working members would earn. jacqui smith = one working member, the other one living it up on her salary/ his unearned allowances and 2nd home expenses and on and on…………….. And let’s not talk about bliar or brown or mandleson and how they have milked the state for their own personal benefit!!!

          Labour is no longer the party for the working classes!!!!

          I’d quite like to see the LibDems climb back into 2nd place, now nearly a 100 years later with a fresh voice, and failed, corrupt labour to decline into third place after the next election.

          This last 13 years of a self-serving labour government, with absolutely no interest in looking after the working classes, more corrupt than any government in zimbabwe, means we need some sort of volcanic eruption to make our political classes think anew!!!

          Uncaring, troughing Labour sinking to the bottom of the pile and the LibDems having a bit of a renaissance to bring them up to the 2nd place again after 100 years, might just be that blood transfusion that British Politics needs.

        • 164
          revolting peasant says:

          I agree with Mr Plum.
          A Lib Lab pact like we had in the 70′s would be a fucking disaster.Essentially yet more New Labour with added complications.
          The Libs would be exceedingly naive to trust any promises Labour make to secure Lib support. Brown and his “inner circle” don’t even consult their own Cabinet or party, so they’re hardly likely to do any kind of deals with another party.The country would be paralysed until the whole coalition inevitably collapses.

          • Engineer says:

            Indeed – six months of political stalemate and rapidly worsening economic conditions precipitating another General Election in October or November, probably delivering a near-landslide for somebody. Can the economy afford to wait six months for treatment, or would it be a near-terminal delay?

          • nell says:

            Actually I don’t advocate a liblab pact. Why?! Because I want to see a Liberal renewal that wipes out labour and leaves the Liberals as a 2nd party!!

            I suspect, in the event that cameron fails to win a majority, if the Libdems enter into a pact with gordon to keep gordon in power, in a hung parliament, that the LibDems will end up hated by the electorate for keeping gordon in power within a year and will then be condemned to the electoral wasteland.

            Shakespeare said ” there is a tide in the affairs of man which taken at the flood leads onto fortune. Omitted all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries”

            The liberals went there in 1920. Can they they now avoid that pitfall and regenerate themselves as labour are imploding??!!

            I feel sure they could – but will they- because they won’t if they tie their fortunes to this troughing, uncaring , self-serving labour government??!!

      • 150
        Anonymous says:

        the core vote for the Tories is not solid – the fool Cameron has driven them away thinking they can be replaced by his new shallow modern metrosexual cronies. Naieve is too gentle a word!

  25. 56
    Happy Immigrant says:

    I am beginnings to liken Nick Clegg.

  26. 59
    Jimmy says:

    I must admit I missed the Dave Lightweight slip up. If he’s going to make up stories he should at least make them plausible. He spoke to a 40 year old black man who had been in the Navy for 30 years? Obviously he made that up. Who ever heard of a conservative talking to black people?

  27. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Is anybody watching this bullshit on C4? For fuck sake this makes the BBC look completely impartial.

    • 85
      Tron says:

      Gordon Brown just won 5 Points on Ch 4 News /Ruby Wax Show. Dave got zero. Labour Landslide !
      Who would have thought it ?
      Channnel 4 has got their finger on the pulse. Up their Arse !

      • 127
        Anonymous says:

        Tron- it has been very obvious that Ch.4 News (i.e. Snow & Krishnan) are antiTory. How could anybody think otherwise?

        • 217
          Channel Four is Channel Lab-our says:

          I was disgusted with that Kahn/Wax show– pure Labour propaganda — ch 4 news is totally biased

    • 139
      Nick2 says:

      Saw the bit about Dave over-stating the cost of a Lexus as £73K, whereas the car actually cost ‘as little as £50K’.


      It’s as bad as in the 80s when my local Fuzz had a Jam Sandwich BMW with leather seats. Not an exaggeration – I lived near the local cop shop and saw it myself.

  28. 67
    Play For Today says:

    Doctor: Come in Mr. Clegg. What can I do for you?

    Clegg: Well it’s something I find hard to discuss. I’ll be honest. I’ve had loads of women. Some of them were quite nice. I make out I’m one of the lads, but the truth is the relationships never last.

    Doctor: Why is that? Is it because the first impression you give doesn’t last?

    Clegg (staring straight at camera, hand in pocket, playing with his ****): Er, er er….

    Doctor: So you’ve always suffered from premature ejaculation then?

    • 137
      Brown Hater says:

      Cleggover had his hand in his pocket all night; I thought he gave the impression that he was touching himself!

  29. 73
    Budd Dywer was a true an hero says:

    Gordon Brown after the election results come in.

  30. 115
    Brown is now doing the Paxman interview says:

    But call me Dave still won’t do it.

    He’d better get a move on and say yes before he looks any weaker.

    • 131
      From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

      For Labour Activists Only…Strictly Confidential.

      (Before we start I have told you that these updates are for internal circulation and must not be leaked particularly to the blogs etc …anyone guilty of such leaks will get Whelan or Alistair and you all know what that means…career curtains)

      Right down to business what a week…I told you in last week’s update things were going well…Cleggie swallowed it hook line and sinker…i told you he would..you all heard him saying many times…’I agree with Gordon’ ‘Gordon this’ Gordon that’ ..bait laid and wolfed down like a little guppy.

      I am sure you all know how hard I have been working on Gordon..less chin grinning.. less charm…harden up…interrupt…repeat the lies.. .and above all stick to the same script we’ve been using for years…we all know it’s brown stuff but remember the plebs believe it…ignore the last 13 years…the manifesto is fresh filled with ideas…ok all old and unfulfilled from as far back as ’97 but it still sounds good. The sudden conversion to voting reform has been a real bonus…Cleggie grinning ear to ear .. it’ll never happen but hey virtually nothing at all in the document will happen so not a problem. Like the lords reform by the time prezza and the other dross droppings have slid their privates into the ermine for the duration that’ll go by the wayside.

      When we’d finished Cleggie’s cronies were round for a few sherberts..full of the prospects and sorting what jobs they’ll get…Vince chancellor …complete w anchor but that suits Gordon so he can take over both briefs…Cleggie fancies Foreign Secretary..sees himself on the world stage…he can take the ‘Dump Trident’ idea round the globe we don’t care about defence…bunch of low cost mugs playing soldiers run by silly old buffers. Actually can’t even remember the other LimpDumb’s names but they all went away pleased as f… the big time beckons. Perfect scenario bunch of no government experience nobodies who couldn’t run a whelk stall between ‘em but job done they’re ours.

      That ITV bloke Stewart was a great host…interrupted at all the right moments and didn’t even begin to shut Gordon up…perfect…but of course a bit of the old ’when you finish at ITV have you thought of …‘ etc etc worked wonders. So this coming week keep going we’ve got this in the bag… Boulton will be a complete walkover …hes loves Gordon and that two faced creep Dimblebum is guaranteed to help Gordon .. the BBC are ours so that’s a done deal.

      As for me did you like the put down I gave Andrew Neil the other day…I’m good at the smarmy condescending double talking two faced stuff…never fails to warm the public to my natural sincere charm…just keep thinking 5 more years to line our pockets..screw the public and take this dump of a country to the dogs. Then onto the world stage for me ?…Banki Mooner at the UN is a waste of space so that could be good ..yes I know you’ve been encouraging me to become Queen but
      shes still batting and for some strange reason the real establishment in this country just doesn’t get me. Of course if Gordon were to retire or was hit by a bus (heaven forbid) I could consider sacrificing my future to keep the Labour gravy train running…Prime Mincer …ah well can’t day dream any longer

  31. 120
    Brown is dead man walking says:

    Disastrous news for Brown: the Lib Dems have overtaken Labour in tonight’s YouGov!


    • 124
      Labour come third says:

      Serves Labour right for bigging up that clown Cleggy as a way of damaging the Tories. They’ve cocked up badly and been bitten on the arse LOL!!!!!

    • 132
      Gardener says:

      The Yellow Peril strikes. Gordon is reaping what he has sown.

    • 135
      Resident of Lib Dum UK Immigrant Zone 4 (East) says:

      Cleggie certainly gets my vote.

      • 138
        Peter Hain says:

        Yellow + Red = Orange

      • 139
        Mr Plum says:

        Yes stay in your region or else

        • 145
          From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

          we’re giving him one of Cleggie’s cards that will allow him to live ONLY in your area Mr Plum and you know those lovely cottages in your mansion grounds that are unoccupied…you got it thats the spot. I have some plums I’m very fond of ..are you related ?

    • 143
      From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

      polls mean nothing…the country needs Gordon..you know it..the world knows it…this man is a global personality brand.

    • 155
      Anonymous says:


    • 208
      Turned Out Nice Again says:

      Oh thank you God, thank you. Clicked on the link and my mouse finger has just come.

  32. 128
    Ashes 2 Dave says:

    Bloggers do not forget to fire up the Quattro at 9 pm BBC1

    • 141
      SOD THEM ALL says:

      its all 9 pm
      i wont be watching its all lies lies and more lies….
      There are more party out there i iwill be foring for one of them

      • 148
        Liberals are Socialists too says:

        Why not call a spade a spade? Why the hell does Cameron not blame the last 13 years on the Socialist agenda and then paint the Libs into the same corner?

        Particularly as it would be the truth!

        • 167
          Longbow says:

          Because he is there too, up to his neck actually. You see, its the Cameron Party now, remember the hair to Blair bit, the uaf connection, the EU, the greenie thing, the no EU referendum cast iron stuff, then there is the not holding the government to account job that went begging, then there is the Iraq war then the Afgan is our fight too, then………
          Thing is that the Conservative Party closed down some time ago, bought out so to speak.
          I got a memo about it somewhere.

  33. 149
    studs says:

    Yeah, I love the Kay Burley treatment.

  34. 151
  35. 152
    Anonymous says:


  36. 154
    Ted says:

    BBC just confirmed the Lib Dems have overtaken broken, sleazy Labour.

    Brown confirmed as the worst and most hated prime minister ever.

    • 170
      From the office of The Prime Mincer says:

      no the BBc did not say that… that is a lie…you thought they said that but what they actually said was Gordon Brown is the most popular prime minister ever and that the public are begging him to lead them out of the worst fuck up in living memory..sorry international financial crisis that started in America… and continue to do so for years and years and years. Get your ears cleaned out and tow the line. Always nice to have you with us.

  37. 160
    WTFBBQ! Labour are third in the polls!!!!!!! says:


    LABOUR ARE THIRD!!!!!!!!

  38. 162
    BFD says:

    How long before Mandelson defects to the Lib Dems now that Labour are dead and buried?

  39. 173
    hahaha says:

    Germany is doing a runner so it doesn’t have to fund anymore EU bailouts.

    Looks like the EU project is like the titanic heading for the iceberg now.


    • 181
      Engineer says:

      Does that leave us holding the baby, on the grounds that nobody is going to make a decision until after the election? One last debt left by Gordoom?

  40. 176

    Cameron has driven the tory core vote into the wilderness and had completely failed to `replace` it – that is his biggest danger. He is avoiding the issues which matter most and appears `much the same` as Lab/Lib. He needs to (among much more):

    1. attack the nuclear disarmament fantasies of LibDems and the left.

    2. attack the waste and over-staffing in local government.

    3. abandon his ludicrous love affair with the NHS – few people think we have the best healthcare in the world – and pledge to reduce dramatically the waste and bureaucracy attached to it.

    4. pledge a joint mass reduction in (i) taxation, and (ii) public servants.

    5. recreating grammar schools on a massive scale and providing complete open parental access to schools of their choice otherwise.

    6. abandon the commitment to community `empowerment` which will only encourage leftwing busybodies who will undermine tories locally.

    7/ publicly reverse his phoney internationalist sentiments by simply declaring:
    “Gibraltar is more important than Darfur”

    That way he will win back the natural supporters and much more. The hour is late – he needs to change now.

    • 213
      ex teacher says:

      Re No 5: You should add that pupils should study for the International Baccalaureate and not the useless Nulab GCSEs or whatever they are called.

      • 214
        TheDevineOne says:

        Whatever they have to study at present, it’s all been watered down by NuLab

  41. 183
    Fool's Day says:

    Brown is an idiot.

    • 191
      revolting peasant says:


      • 211
        W.W. says:

        Suncinct, and yet it does just about sum everything about the man.

        Gordon truely is a Moron.

        Jilted John did try to warnl us.

        He has destoyed our country, and now he is going to utterly destoy the Labour Party, as I and many other’s predicted so long ago.

        We don’t call him Jonah for nothing.

        Since he has been PM COBRA has met more times than in it’s entire history..

        We have had half the country flooded at one time or another in the last two years.
        We have had Foot and Mouth,
        We have had Bird Flu,
        We have had a run on a British Bank for the first time in a Hundred and Thirty Years.
        We have had almost every Company he visited go Bankrupt.
        Every sporting team he claims to support loses.
        Every candidate he ever endorses loses.
        We have had the worst recession since the Great Depression (and we are far from out the woods yet)
        We had the worst Winter in 30 years, with half the country brought to a standstill by snow.
        Now for his final act we have a volcano bringing half of Europe to a standstill, for god knows how long.

        He is truely cursed.


  42. 185
    W.W. says:

    Just walked back from shops thinkingabout last nights debate.

    Cameron did alright, nothing special but he has the capability to do a lot better.

    Clegg did alright aswell, once again nothing special, but can probably do a lot better.

    Brown was slightly odd, only slightly but he did OK for him.
    The difference is, that is the very best that he can hope for,because he is capable of doing a lot, lot worse.

    Brown survived the first debate, but I still think it’s odds on he will fuck up spectactularly in one of the remaining debates.

    It’s the only thing that will keep me watching.

    Going on Jonah show the world what an utter prick you are, it’s your destiny, that and leading the Labour Party to third place in a general election for the first time in 90 years.


  43. 189
    Fool's Day says:

    Eddie Izzard has quite simply lost the plot. Shame. I hope he wakes up soon smells the coffee and runs as faraway from those lunatics labour soon. Get Well Soon Eddie.

  44. 190
    Ratsniffer says:

    I can’t stand Clegg – he’s a simpering, oily little twerp, but I do thank him for putting the snotmeister into third place! Hahahahaha suck on that jonah.

  45. 200
    a future fairy for all says:

    I I I I I, agree with Nick.

  46. 201
    Pavlov's Bell says:

    Eddie Izzard became a mouthpiece for NL long before the truth came out about the fuck up Brown has made of the economy. NL have made him so high profile he can’t back away. If he has any sense he will back off. If he has courage he will tell NL to fuck off.

  47. 202
    albacore says:

    That’s two days running we’ve had Guido Fawkes saying Cameron is…., erm, can’t cut the mustard.
    Can’t argue with that but is this REALLY the very same Guido Fawkes who hosts this blog saying it now, or what?
    Also, Fawkes, please note that there is no “H” at the beginning of the letter aitch, the eighth letter of the alphabet.
    Listen to your pronunciation at the start of that Guy News vid above if you don’t know what I’m on about.

  48. 203
    JV says:

    It looks like the election is going to be a two horse race between the Tories and Lib Dems now that Labour have been pushed firmly into third place in tonight’s YouGov poll.

    A governing party has never been down in third place during an election campaign. Brown must be the worst and most unpopular prime minister ever.

    Labour must wish they had dumped him last year.

    • 204
      Ronnie says:

      Brown is a disaster. Labour should know that you can’t put gloss on dross.

      • 206
        LMAO says:

        Gordon Brown has achieved what no other PM has ever done before: put the ruling party third during an election campaign. You can’t polish a turd and Brown is a particularly stinking turd as Labour must now realise.

    • 205
      Busted nokia says:

      The danger for the conservatives is that they have the largest share but no majority – then is Cameron son of Heath .. and we are back in the 1972-4 era

  49. 209
    Engineer says:

    Potentially interesting poll numbers, but remember, it’s one poll (YouGov) oft criticised in the recent past. Don’t read too much into it yet.

    There are three weeks and two leaders’ debates to go. The LibDem surge may be a flash in the pan, or it may be based on something more solid. LibDem policies subjected to scrutiny might alter things.

    Cameron probably shouldn’t panic, just shift his forensic scrutiny a little to LibDem policy.

    The mountain that Brown has to climb gets ever steeper, and it’s his own fault. Stand by in the bunker for incoming Nokias, trolls.

  50. 212
    Brown's shit behavioural psychologist says:

    Poor Eddie Izzard mouthpiece for the Nazi Party. He needs to stop running long enough to read up on how labour is destroying the country.
    Eddie should go and save the Baku pygmy tribe or something and bee a bit more like Sting.

  51. 216

    [...] The Mass Debate | Dizzy Thinks: Cameron and Brown dismiss Clegg at their peril | Guido Fawkes: Guy News : Debate Debate Debate! | Emily Nomates: When Lovebombing Is Not Enough | The Spectator blog: Nick Clegg: the Hans-Dietrich [...]

  52. 218
    Tarquin Bartleby says:


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Dan Hodges on Team Miliband:

“‘Poisonous’, was the picture painted by one former senior advisor. ‘Dysfunctional,’ said one shadow cabinet member. ‘A bunch of medieval courtiers, not an office,’ said another. The most positive description I could get was ‘It’s a work in progress. They’re learning. Slowly. But they are learning.’”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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