Guido had been wondering for a while whether anyone on the Labour side would take the foolish risk of putting Jonah Brown on their election literature. Scrolling through the multitudes of leaflets uploaded onto the leaflet archiving site TheStraightChoice.Org, Guido had genuinely started to think that no one would dare.

Finally, today, a breakthrough, and it turns out that the only person willing to feature the Prime Mentalist’s deranged smile on their leaflets is… Jonah Brown himself!

The leaflet sent around Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath features five pictures of an inanely grinning Jonah – but it seems that pictures of his smile are in such short supply that they had to reuse one of them twice. This is possibly the only Labour leaflet in this general election with Brown’s voter-repelling visage on it.

Only one question remains: Is Jonah immune to his own curse? It doesn’t get more sinister…