Andrew Rawnsley said on the BBC’s Campaign Show…

“It might be more edifying for Sam and Sarah to settle the election with a wet t-shirt contest.”

Don’t miss the Labour Party’s broadcast tonight: “The Road Ahead” will be broadcast tonight at 17:55 (BBC2), 18:25 (ITV1), 18:55 (BBC1), 19:25 (Five) and 19:55 (Channel 4).  Above is Guido’s look into the future if we stay on this road…

As the news breaks that Chaytor, Devine and Morley are to receive even more taxpayers’ money in the form of Legal Aid to fight their defence against stealing from the taxpayer, Guido poses the question, why exactly are the Labour Party still proudly promoting theses disgraced men on their website?

See the Labour Party website here and here.

UPDATE: Within the hour Labour have pulled the pages.

The Labour manifesto launch for Gordon had an introduction from Ellie Gellard, but she was kept away from the press and it is no wonder Sky were refused interviews with “BevaniteEllie” – before she became Gordon’s cheerleader she was calling for him to resign and pass the reigns (sic) to Alan Johnson. From her no doubt soon-to-disappear old blog:

“How dare he stand by with personal interest watching our party sink it is not his to lose, it is ours.  Here’s my ideal scenario for the coming months. Brown accepts that too much damage has been done and while I feel sorry for someone who has waited so long for a job which he has done averagely and been slaughtered for, I care more for our party and supporters. Alan Johnson takes the reigns (sic). In short, Brown (although I had high hopes and don’t burden you with total responsibility) get your coat, time’s up.”

Guido couldn’t agree more. Incoming Nokia alert…

Guido has had three calls today, obviously coincidental, from hacks asking how this blog is financed. (Clue: can you spot any adverts?)

Rajeev Syal said he was calling from the Guardian, although Guido thought he was the Observer’s investigations editor, we talked about how much the Guardian was making from Tory adverts on their website, the tax advantages of the ownership structure of the Scott Trust and the Scott Trust’s use of Cayman’s registered offshore companies to buy the EMAP magazine group.  He asked Guido similar questions, than an odd one popped up:

Q. Has Lord Ashcroft or his representatives offered to buy you?
A. If he wants to pay a couple of million, c’mon down Michael.
Q. So you would sell?
A. If James Murdoch is interested and the price is right he can have it as well, tell Alan Rusbridger to send over his bid too.

So apart from natural curiosity as to who is trying to plant the story, Guido wonders: what headline is Rajeev aiming at?

Labour’s utterly bizarre manifesto launch video was quite revealing as to how Gordon’s government views the voting public. In a section on how “your opinion really matters” an animated potato in pants – presumably representing the electorate – yells demands such as “CHEESE HAS FEELINGS TOO” and “ABOLISH THE PERIODIC TABLE“. Like a second-rate insurance ad without the pithy script, the whole three minutes, presumably directed by a lobotomy patient and executed by an arts college reject, stunned the assembled hacks, prompting Sky‘s Glen Oglaza to tweet, “What WAS that video? My 12 year old daughter would feel her intelligence being insulted!“

In a refreshingly aggressive style the travelling press pack smelt blood. Robinson demanding why the public should trust anything Labour says when the manifesto barely touched the deficit – but that didn’t stop the hand picked audience heckling. Boulton and The Sun were given an equally hostile treatment. Gordon leered as he claimed “it’s not a fair press. It’s a fair audience.” Was it really the best idea for Gordon to accuse the host of one of the upcoming debates of being a Tory stooge?

Alan Johnson drew nausea as he oiled to his feet to chip in: “I’m not sure I can give a more perfect answer than that, Prime Minister.”  The gun to his head was just out of shot. It was a fatal mistake to try to blend a presser and a rally. So this is the “future fair for all” – weasel words to a loyalist audiences stacked with posh window-licking “socialists” bussed in to shout down a free press.

As the Prime Mentalist took to the stage at his Pyongyang  style manifesto launch he was introduced by his chief cheerleader the famous-for-Twitter Ellie Gellard. Some might know her better as the self-titled “BevaniteEllie“, Labour’s 24/7 twittering foghorn. While she may tweet her way through the ups and downs of Brown’s last days, some might consider the choice less than appropriate. Given that Labour last week sacked a candidate for inappropriate jokes on Twitter, there seems to be some double standard for poster girls. Making jokes about Thatcher breaking her neck is fine apparently, and gets you a spot on the top platform.  But who is this dyed in the wool Labour activist?

Reading between the lines you can see why Labour wouldn’t want this well spoken, rich-girl socialite on television before. She’s hardly your average Labour voter. Growing up on the mean streets of Holland Park and attending one of the most selective schools in the country, Bevan must be turning in his grave. How many “average students” Labour are trying to reach out to can quaff champagne when flitting between London and Paris to go clubbing whenever she chooses? Does Gellard really relate to working people whilst sipping cocktails on a yacht?  She is more Mandelsonian New Labour than anything Old Labour’s Nye Bevan would recognise…

UPDATE: Seems Sky News are a little grumpy that reams of press officers wouldn’t let them get anywhere near Gellard for an interview. The whole painfully stage managed affair is unravelling. She was only trusted to read from a script and perhaps that plummy accent wouldn’t have gone down so well on the lunchtime news…

Rather than looking to the future, be it fair for all or not, Labour have simply lifted the concept and style of old Tory posters for the cover of their manifesto. How far back did they go? Back all the way to 1910 and 1931 for their poster ideas:

Who said this government hadn’t run out of ideas?

Just as the curtain is brought down on this rotten parliament, it seems the next generation of wannabes have taken a leaf out of their book. When the UK Youth Parliament were allowed to use the Commons for a debate, Bercow told them “This is an historic moment and one which I hope will show young people that the House of Commons, and the work that goes on here, is relevant to their lives.” Clearly they were paying attention as the kids have now been embroiled in their very own expenses crisis.

Replace duck houses and phantom mortgages with “pizzas, chicken wings and fizzy drinks“.  A whistle-blower claims taxpayers money was being re-directed from deprived kids and spent on taxis and Blackberries,”“I said it was nothing short of corruption.” The former head of the Scottish Youth Parliament branded the organisation as nothing more than a booze fuelled “knocking shop“. Seems the kids have taken to the lifestyle like ducks to water.

This situation maybe familiar: an over-spending left-of-centre government faces election, the centre-right opposition offers a promise of tax cuts and free market reforms to bring economic growth to a country which is on the verge of bankruptcy.

In Hungary overnight Fidesz have swept the socialists out of office winning 52% of the vote to the ruling party’s 19%.

The Fidesz party logo is an orange smiley face and this morning the smile is very broad…

Guido fact: Back in 1988 Fidesz were a little known rag-tag bunch of idealistic libertarian students under threat of arrest from the communists. The great David Hart, fresh from smashing Scargill’s thugs, channeled support to them from the West. Within a year Hungarian communism fell and Fidesz were in government. Another reason to recognise David Hart with an honour.