April 8th, 2010

Iain Dale Loses Campaign for Election Night Counts

Guido thinks that overnight counting is an anachronistic waste of people’s time and the civilised, sensible thing to do would be to count the votes the next day when everyone has had a good sleep. Only political junkies love the drama of the late night count.

Iain is claiming victory for his campaign to keep the overnight count.  However there will he admits himself still be nearly thirty pioneering constituencies for next day counting on Friday 7 May. 30 constituencies could easily be the difference between victory and defeat in this election so the result might not be known on the night...


  1. 1
    Iain Dale says:

    It wasn’t my campaign. It was Jonathan Isaby and Tom Harris. Get your facts right, Fawkes.

    • 6

      Sorry I misread this from Iain Dale’s Diary: Save General Election Night!

      And, errm, all these posts.

      • 30
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Sorry Guido. Not with you on this one. Too sensible becomes boring. God knows the voters have seemed bored enough. Not now, unless my name is Vincent van Gogh.

        • 120
          Anonymous says:

          Not with you at all, Guido.

          Overnight counts cut the opportunity for any interference. Any otehr method is simply dangerous and will undermine confidence – already low – in the process.

          • Westminster Windfall Tax on 100% of flipping profits says:


          • phantom says:

            I remember when he went after all politicians too.
            That was months ago though.
            Wonder if he’ll delete this ? Nah! surely not ?

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            The only things I have seen censored here have been utterly obscene references to deceased children. If you think that is fun, then I would willingly contribute to a fund to have you taken out, if someone were to ask for donations.

            Not everyone agrees with everything any of us say. That is life. Always has been. Time you grew up to accept that.

            Now fuck off.

          • Enginer says:

            you’re confused again
            Guido’s fine with that when the likes of nell mcbride smears politicians with their dead and disabed children

          • jgn2 says:

            the stupid moinker twat can’t even see all the orphaned posts that litter most of these threads.sorry chum but the scumbag sp33do shorts hasn’t been here in months. dissent will not be tolerated by GF during the campaign.he’s on message and co-ordinated by fatboy pickles.

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Had you possessed the skills to read the third post on this page, you would have seen that I disagreed with Guido on this topic. I dare say he is OK with that. You are the ones with the problem and it is multifarious.

            1. You cannot abide any dissent from what you have been taught to parrot.

            2. You cannot even spell – despite the alleged doubling of money spent on “edjerkashun”.

            3. None of you possess one tad of wit.

            I could carry on but there is a very real danger that you might just be carried off with AIDS before I finish. Now run off and listen to your Big Brother repeats.

          • Doctor Mick says:

            titfer, if there is censorship how come alll your moronic ravings – under a multitude of aliases – litter this place like a Manila dung heap?

          • Cast Iron Cameron says:

            all posts critical of Guido and the Conservatives will be deleted when he gets back in from his booze up with his CCHQ handlers
            as usual

          • 12 years of Labour and Gary Elsby says:

        • 134
          Phew says:

          ear ear

          • ShoutsAtTheTV says:

            If they just used a computer system (touch-screen voting) to count the ballots, could have the final result 1 second after the polls closed. No need for all this old-fashioned, paper technology…

            But then again, ‘Government + simple I.T. Systems = Total, unremitting Disaster’

          • Daves NWO Hitler youth, first proposed by NWO Gordon says:

          • Daves NWO Hitler youth, first proposed by NWO Gordon says:

      • 41
        Hung Parliament is a construct of the media says:

        Cant agree, I do not want my portillo moments taken from me. I will gladly stay up until 3 am and beyond to watch them all fall one by one.

        • 125

          Very true – my Rioja will be nicely chambreed by the time the Buckingham, Morley, Stoke and Barking results are announced – with two glasses to spare for any other results that deserve a toast.

          • Shardenne Froider says:

            And as a precaution I’ve rigged my own sofa with Semtex just in case Gordon and his sh*t shower don’t get comprehensively battered into a humiliated permanent retirement

          • So long Malcolm. I am me because of you. And I’m pretty sure, I’m not alone. Or Vacant.

      • 44
        The Admiral says:

        Nor me Guido on this one. on a lighter note 11% of Nottingham girls would snog Gorrdoom. Ah well….

        “1809: A leftfield take on political popularity now. Some Nottingham University research has been picked up by the London Evening Standard’s Paul Waugh. The study, which apparently is otherwise quite serious, asked female voters which leaders they would “snog, marry or avoid”. 89% said they’d avoid Gordon Brown, 66% would avoid David Cameron and 63% would avoid Nick Clegg. Figures for “snog” and “marry” aren’t yet available…

        H/T You don’t want to know…

      • 118
        Gordon's trick cyclist says:

        Don’t spoil the fun, it’s the night we watch the fat troughers squirm.

        Dance monkeys! Dance! And you may have a duck house

      • 131
        Big Auntie Dale Fan says:

        Fucking hell Guido, you’ve gone and upset Auntie.
        Don’t do it again or there will be tears at teatime.

      • 193
        Yorkie says:

        ID v GF …ladies handbags at dawn to defend your honour.

    • 7
      Mr Ned says:

      It also depends on which seats are those 30. If it is 30 of the safest seats, then it won’t matter. If it is 30 of the tightest marginals, then it could make all the difference.

    • 11
      Anonymous says:

      Gosh that was quick Iain – do you have Guido’s site open all the time?

      • 22
        BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

        His what open?

      • 27
        its not who votes that counts but who counts the votes says:

        Guido thinks the votes should be left overnight with our corrupt goverment and corrupt communist purpose officials.

        Wouldn’t happen here right?

        Yeah that is why postal voting fraud was at epidemic proportions, which is why it was bought in.

        Dale is 100% correct. Guidos motivation – sleep,

        really that is it? potential fraud opposed to a few hours sleep?

        Who’s side are you on Guido, electoral fraud?

        If MPs think they may get robbed by this system, then they should make as much noise as possible now.

        • 29
          Gordon Brown says:

          Don’t worry me and my officals will make sure the boxes will be kept safe, especially in the marginal seats!

          • Robert Mugabe says:

            Keep up the good work, Gordon.

          • zimbabwe UK says:

            Votes stored and counted the next day!

            Hands up who trusts this goverment?

            Referendum anyone?

            WMD anyone?

            Postal vote fraud anyone?

          • soviet UK says:

            The election WILL be rigged.

            Lets face it they already surrendered us to the EU, do you think for one second they are interested in your votes, the election is already a done deal, The Tories will win, UKIP and the BNP’s votes will mysteriously dissapear.

            and as you celebrate the incomming of NWO Dave, he creates the EUSSR youth corps, the seeds of EUSSR conscription and world war 3 with Russia and China, opens the borders with Turky and laughs all the way to the bank.

            Meanwhile you are left with the new soviet, however it will no longer be a cold war!

          • soviet UK says:

            The election WILL be rigged.

            Lets face it they already surrendered us to the EU, do you think for one second they are interested in your votes, the election is already a done deal, The Tories will win, Labour, Lib dems, UKIPs, and the BMP’s votes will mysteriously dissapear.

            and as you celebrate the incoming of NWO Dave, he creates the EUSSR youth corps, the seeds of EUSSR conscription and world war 3 with Russia and China, opens the borders with Turky and laughs all the way to the bank.

            Meanwhile you are left with the new soviet, however it will no longer be a cold war!

          • pied piper guido is leading you into the sea! says:

            LKast thing the NWO want is a hung parliment, the NWO media have been building up Dave (or rather his wife) for some time but it hasn’t worked.

            They will resort to rigging the election, it doesnt matter which NWO side gets in, red or blue, just as long as their is a majority.

            If they dont get a majority they the NWO find it harder to control and manipulate those at the top of the parties.

            So they will rig the elections in the marginals.

            Remember communist purpose charity that recieves a lot of state funding – `training leaders for a post democratic age` in ALL areas of public life – the police, the councils, ALL main parties!

            The EUSSR the fledgling police state!

            Pied piper Guido is leading you into the sea.

        • 39
          Cheese Lover says:

          Yes, a most odd stance from Fawkes. It’s the only fun we got: bleary eyed politicians fronted by Robin Day. Sadly the modern bunch aren’t up to much, maybe that’s Fawke’s reason.
          Love those BBC tapes of the old election nights.

          • Mr Ned says:

            Especially loved the 1992 coverage when the polls closed and they predicted Kinnock would be PM. I loved the look on their faces when Basildon voted tory!!!

          • NWO says:

            But did they?

          • Total Bollitics says:

            Maybe the ballot boxes should be taken to Brussels to be counted by the EU Commission and Cameron’s common purpose friends.

            It would all be totally honest and completely above board.

          • Phew says:

            as long as we don’t get that fucking swingometer unless its the ‘from a rope’ variety

        • 329
          I used to believe indemocracy before Postal voting says:

          Make all the attendees leave their Biro’s outside the count and search them for blank voting forms, particularly the very tanned persons wearing red rosettes.

    • 106

      How did Iain Dale know you were going to post this Guido, he is first to comment and surely that would be a huge, improbable coincidence.

      Care to explain!!

    • 255
      Meat Rack says:

      “Iain Dale loses campaign”

      Sounds familiar.

      • 337
        I used to believe in democracy before Postal voting says:

        Sad that he does not realise why he is never selected, his recent tweets are showing how deeply he is in despair with the situation.

    • 256
      New Labour gerrymandering votes says:

      Yes, give the councils more time to rig the election results… just what we need.

      Having signed up to be on the electoral roll, I ticked the box to be only on the internal list, not the one the council sells to every shyster. Checking my entry, I am not on the public electoral roll list.

      So, how has New Labour managed to get name and address from the electoral roll, complete with deliberate spelling mistakes I made in my name? I’ve had some specific leaflets sent to me in my name.

      Is this legal?

      How come no other political party has done this with my details, I’ve NEVER voted for Labour, not even with a gun to my head would I vote for them, so they do not have my details from that.

      Where did New Labour get my details from? I am in a Tory constituency.

    • 258
      violetlobster says:

      I don’t agree either – after all the tedious campaigning the poor electorate have had to sit through, us political junkies deserve our all-night post-ballot piss-up to numb the pain. We’ll all have stopped caring by Friday morning. We demand instant gratification!

    • 259
      idonotbelieveit says:

      I’m with Iain on this one

  2. 2
    S&M says:

    Bring them round to my house, me and the dog will have it done in an hour.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Yes but don’t forget the 30 Birmingham constituencies that will declare on the Wednesday!!

  4. 4
    Thatcher The Milk Snatcher says:

    I hear Bercow is hiring his own personal vote counters, whereas Farage is just going to throw them all in the air and catch as many as he can, much like the end of the Crystal Maze.

  5. 5
    Auld Tcheuchter says:

    You want to give those crooks more time to fiddle the results?

    • 17
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Already done days beforehand. The postal votes have it, the postal votes have it!

    • 89
      Sir William Waad says:

      We should get some Iraqis in as election observers.

  6. 8
    Dave's Big Society says:

    Result will be known just after the polls close with the first exit poll.

    Mian reason to stop up is to see known Labour faces get sacked live.

    • 34
      Cocker Spaniel says:

      Will the exit polls take account of any, ahem, different patterns, in the postal votes?

  7. 9
    Terry Major-Ball says:

    Which crooks and what results? I’ll personally move two thousand votes your way for a ‘sum’ in a brown envelope.

  8. 10
    Joe Public says:

    And do you trust the ballot boxes to remain untampered-with???

    • 18
      Hold tight.. says:

      Er, no

      • 443
        I profided proof and illustraitions to highlight our concerns, Guido deleted the post! says:

        I showed Guido evidence of this happening to the BMP in the mayoral elections, seals broken(you have a right to place your own seal on the box, however if the seal is broken it appears they simply say togh shit! Guido (or should that be mao) deleted the post!

  9. 12
    Pedant says:

    I assume you’ve never been a candidate, or indeed a proper political anorak. It
    is cruel and unusual punishment to make them wait any longer than is necessary.

  10. 13
    Terry Major-Ball says:

    Have you seen the size of the WRVS battleaxes they use to guard the boxes post-balloting?

  11. 14
    Joe Public says:

    As Stalin said, “It’s not who votes that counts; it’s who counts the votes.”

    • 109
      Peter "Prissy" Jukes says:

      It’s “when” not “who” that’s at issue, twat.

      • 448
        Stand in the corner says:

        Actually it is both, they can be interconnected, that is the concern here, now run along seeing as you cannot grasp even the most basic of issues.

        The When gives the opportunity to the who, they count them and then lose or place some in their. later to be recounted – get it, dummy.

  12. 15
    Nixon's Black Book says:

    Try telling that to Dick Nixon, he apparantly won the 1960 election after historical analysis.

  13. 16
    lolol says:

    Just watching the Parliament channel and Bercow shaking all the mp’s hands,we,ve had the long Parliament etc,so is this one going to be called the Parliament of thieves,some of these people are going to have a suprise when they have to spend their own money and find how much everything has gone up in price including petrol.

  14. 19
    Nixon's Black Book says:

    Of the voting trends that is, not the discovery of Norse jewellery debating the merits of JFK’s nuclear promises…

  15. 20
    John Lloyd says:

    Guido (and Iain), you forget the elephant in the room.

    Not only in America, but across most of western Europe, election results are known within minutes of the polls closing and confirmed within an hour or so.

    Our antediluvian system, which requires us to mark a piece of paper with a non self-harming crayon before it is stuffed in a tin box before being carried by police escort to a central entrepot to be ‘counted’, is ridiculous.

    We need computerised voting – not by internet but with secure polling machines at polling centres, linked to a central constituency server.

    Then the local constituency Dizzy presses a button when the poll closes and, whammo, you have the result – without any need for a recount.

    If backward countries like France, Belgium, Holland and Germany can do it, why not Great Britannia?

    • 75
      • 149
        John says:

        We stick to hand-operated systems because computerised ones are too easy to cheat. The 1960 US Presidential election where a lot of the Chicago voting machines were “fixed” to record a vote for JFK no matter whether the elector pulled the lever for Nixon or JFK (as was subsequently admitted by a member of Mayor Daley’s team) is the reason why the USA still uses paper for most of its ballots.
        There is NO way that you can build a fraud-proof computer-voting system (I was an assistant computer programmer when I was 17 so I’m not talking through my hat). There isn’t a perfectly fraud-proof hand-operated system either but fraud takes a heck of a lot more effort.
        John Lloyd’s idea would be fine if only those who had already been beatified were allowed to take part in programming the election computer – but I doubt that any of them would know modern programming languages.

    • 95
      Engineer says:

      Beware of technology. Remember the hanging chads?

      First rule of engineering. Keep it simple. If it can go wrong, it will.

      • 165
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        Exactly. What would they do if there was a power cut.

        • 198
          ShoutsAtTheTV says:

          …Diesel generators flick in at the drop of a voltage

          (Unless, of course, Gordon’s priced Diesel out of the market.)

        • 215
          Little Britain says:

          Diesel generators automatically cut in when the voltage drops

          • Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

            Yes, but then the UPS system alerts the computer that it’s now running on a generator, and the computer executes a graceful shutdown.

            That tends to be how they work, anyway.

        • 522
          Doctor Mick says:

          I hear Labour are considering allowing voting through the National Lottery terminals. Guaranteed to get the scrote vote. On May 6th there’s an extra box at the bottom of your lottery ticket.

    • 200
      Unsworth says:

      A good number of the customers in the local Tescos already have barcode tattoos.

    • 273
      Anonymous says:

      Yeah with computers, what could possibly go wrong ?

      • 533
        Hysteria says:

        and don’t get me fucking started on postal votes – I live overseas and am effectively disenfranchised

        oh yes

      • 567
        ShoutsAtTheTV says:

        Yep, too right.. Those damn WordProcessors, eh?

        Things used to be much better when there was only Paper, Typewriters and Tipex.

        Nothing ever used to go wrong then… But you had to hire a secretary to do that nasty typing for you

        • 568
          ShoutsAtTheTV says:

          Let’s also sack any car with Electronic Fuel Ignition, shall we? Increased fuel efficiency and power? No thanks, let’s go back to S.U. Carburettors, 2BHP, 2MPG and fking crank handle!.. Switch that damn Traction Control off, short-out the Anti-lock Braking system

          Your argument conveniently forgets things like MP3 players, cash points, etc.

          When done properly, electronic voting should get the desired answer every time. (If not the correct one.)

    • 308
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Then tell them they need to go to “the showers”!

    • 560
      Fred Blogs says:

      Holland has largely abandoned computerised counting and gone back to paper and crayons. I voted in the Amsterdam council election last month and a was given two broadsheet papers with 250 candidates on. I was then a teller (yes, same evening) and had to count the bloody things, and then work out the PR second preferences. Great fun though – definitely more of a buzz during an evening count. The Dutch general election on 9 June will also use BOTTOMS (Back on to the Old Manual System).

  16. 21
    Rob says:

    Fawkes, you’re wrong. Overnight counts are part of the excitement of our elections and getting rid of them would be a terrible mistake.

    • 25
      Rob says:

      I agree with Rob, above.

      • 31
        Bercow's Rangers Tattoo says:

        1997, truly the watershed for overnight reality television in the form of watching people get fired from their jobs in front of the nation. Watching Portillo and Mellor crash and burn with such glorious flames spouting from their odious pores was enough to make me phone up my mother, who promptly told me to fuck off as it was two in the morning.

        • 42
          Mr Plum says:

          1992 was pretty good, watching the glum faces on the beeb especially the bloke with the swingometer thingy

        • 51
          Rob says:

          Yes, watching Mellor get the boot was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long while. It was funny because the pompous twerp didn’t take it very well.

        • 69
          Mr Ned says:

          It was worth it in 1992 to see labour’s champagne go very very flat, very very quickly!

          • Mr Plum says:

            Yes although kinnock had already waved goodbye at Brighton

          • old john says:

            remember 1992 vividly as was in the french alps with number of friends all saying the same thing…’we’re fucked’ and lo and behold good old john came through…we got pissed for days and returned to the uk revived.

          • ShoutsAtTheTV says:

            Just 1 pertinent question:

            How many extra £m does this ‘overnight delivery’ cost the tax payer?

          • Muggins says:

            It will be worth it this time, just to see the bbc’s champagne go flat!
            Hang on a minute? That’s my tv tax!

      • 32
        Rob says:

        Me too!

        • 70
          The Admiral says:

          I have to say it was the only light relief in a sad night…

          • Airey Belvoir says:

            Would you deny Dave his sun-up moment in a photogenic location, crying to an adoring rent-a-crowd of shiny young Tories “A new day has dawned, has it not?”

            ……then again, maybe best to leave it a couple of days.

  17. 24
    Bercow's Shoe Leather says:

    Thankfully I’m off work on the 7th so I’m planning an election night feast of cider binging, chocolate and plenty of shouting at the television into the wee hours.

    • 74
      Mr Ned says:


      Me and my best mate will be partying all night. Either in celebration at the end of the mental one’s disastrous misrule, or commiserating him winning, in which case, we will then be drinking ourselves to death!

      • 346
        King Chillout says:

        I have an expensive bottle of champagne waiting just in case the vile and odious one wins in Barking.

        I usually can’t stand the stuff, but just for once I will force myself. Bottoms up.

    • 548

      Me and other half both off on the 7th.

  18. 26
    streamfisher says:

    Come on Guido what’s the point of stopping up all night if you still don’t get to hear the final result, I think our electoral voting system is now on a par with Azerbaijan, I’m praying for an extended postal strike during the election, too much funny mail (Postal Votes) floating about.

    • 328
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Too late the postal votes are already in, Liebour’s indentured subcontinentals merely recycle all the useful ones from the last election.

    • 417
      John says:

      What’s wrong with Azerbaijan?

  19. 28
    eljmayes says:

    Even if there are 30 constituencies who count the next day, it’s unlikely that the overall result will be held over until the next day.

    • 33
      Bercow's Rangers Tattoo says:

      Calamity needs a good nights sleep to decide which end of the Labour cabinet table he wants to nervously sit at.

      • 45
        Chris Hoon says:

        “I think Nick’s got enormous, er ,enormous, er..”

        • 48
          Bo-ris Derek says:

          Poor Nick, he does look like a schoolboy being told he’s a bit thick in front of everyone.

        • 72
          Mr Plum says:

          So lets get this straight this chris guy and clegg are in the same party.

          • Bercow and Sheep Farm says:

            Well they are liberals, they’re allowed to meander and argue… within soft and restrained reason.

        • 97
          Sir William Waad says:

          Dig that crazy tie….man, it’s so far out it’s….like…..silkadelic!

        • 241
          Incredible. says:

          First time I have ever seen that.

          Clegg looks and acts like a 15 year old school boy at an interview at his local M&S for an Assistant Manager’s job.

          He should have stood up and kicked the sh*it out of the Hoon!


          I’ve eaten heavier feathers.

  20. 36
    May he rot in Hell says:

    I’m still fuming about Mandy getting his way over that awful Digital Economy Bill – people presumed guilty unless they can prove themselves innocent indeed!! A New Labour thought process through and through…

    • 40
      Calamity Clegg says:

      When is the Dark Lord’s bill becoming law? Because I’ve still got 34 percent remaining on this ’24′ torrent.

    • 54
      Rob says:

      Doesn’t it need an enabling act before it becomes law?

    • 233
      Animal kingdom says:

      So does this mean x hamster is out too?

    • 523
      Doctor Mick says:

      He has been got at by the lobbyists. This bill does nothing for the ordianry punters but it certainly will please one or two vested interests.

      Must keep an eye out for the new watch.

  21. 43
    Em says:

    Guido you’re just being contrary on this one (shock).

    Get it counted. Keep election night ‘special’.

    Plenty of time to sleep on the other 4 years 364 days when there isn’t an election.

  22. 49
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    I remember, in front of a girlfriend’s TV set and with her mother asleep upstairs, the night when Margaret Thatcher got in. It was so exciting that I got in as well. Wonderful night!

    • 96
      The Admiral says:

      “…a girlfriend…” Sir, hardly correct, surely… Poor little thing….

      • 138
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        My Dear Admiral

        We are both very happily married now to our respective spouses. We still keep in touch, metaphorically, for the avoidance of doubt.

        Neither of us would turn the clock back. Some wrong things are just so right!

        BTW Your daughter is rather scrummy ….

        • 168
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          You can fuck off! Your best friend is probably your right hand.

          • Billy no mates says:

            it’s true




          • thick bastard says:

            because it’s now ‘on message’ you stupid fucking wanker




          • nell says:

            Third key up on the left of your keyboard . Please press and stop shouting. We can hear you well enough if you talk in normal mode.

            As for ashcroft – it seems to most of us that sarah and mandy have taught the silly word to gordon as some sort of relaxing yogic chant.

            It’s beginning to sound a bit silly isn’t it? A bit like foul swearing words repeated every third word by someone who doesn’t have a very good command of the engish language!

          • Turnip Taliban says:

            here’s one of Cameron’s cheerleading poodles now
            you can’t teach an old dog new tricks can you dearie?
            you just Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! for the Heir to Blair
            I SAID WE HA…no she’s gone again and is dribbling facedown in her turnip mash

            you are a spineless party shill
            fuck brown, fuck blair, fuck the heir to blair and fuck all their piggy apologist scum
            that would be you dearie
            now piss off and get back to babbling and smearing like the scum you are

          • Take your pick says:

            Deutsche Bank said tonight that a Conservative victory would boost the stock market and the pound.

            A Labour victory would lead to a run on the pound within hours, a gilts market collapse within days, and bankruptcy necessitating IMF intervention within weeks.




          • Doctor Mick says:


          • no contest says:

            Tory or Labour: take your pick:

            Deutsche Bank said tonight that a Conservative victory would boost the stock market and the pound.

            A Labour victory would lead to a run on the pound within hours, a gilts market collapse within days, and bankruptcy necessitating IMF intervention within weeks.

          • no contest says:

            Tory or Labour: take your pick:

            D*utsc*e B*nk said tonight that a Conservative victory would boost the stock market and the pound.

            A Labour victory would lead to a run on the pound within hours, a gilts market collapse within days, and bankruptcy necessitating IMF intervention within weeks.

          • King Chillout says:

            Jog on, cockrot. You are fucking boring me shitless. And that takes some doing as I am a Cov City fan.

          • Gordon's pharmacist says:

            Boring, repeat posts like this are just background mumbling.

          • revolting peasant says:

            I think you’ve already posted this a couple of times.

          • nell says:

            Poor gordon howard hughes and his medications – they’ve given him too much of whatever it is they are giving him, and now all he can do is intone ‘ashcroft’ endlessly when they wheel him out to speak to carefully chosen, invited labour audiences who are guaranteed not to ask him awkward questions with which his personality cannot deal!!!

            Dazed gordon on the stage before his faithful, unquestioning, labour audience says ” We need to print 200billion ashcrofts. I have saved the world from nuclear ashcrofts. There will be no more boom and bust ashcrofts. I am going to introduce an education ashcroft into schools…………………………..”

          • Billy Bragg's Big House in Dorset says:

            Lord Ashcroft – the Nation’s saviour.
            All hail, Lord Ashcroft.

          • nell says:

            Let’s have some proper examination of gordon’s policies.

            Why is gordon printing £200billion of useless monopoly money,??!

            Why is gordon failing to properly equip our troops in Afghanistan even though he keeps them there fighting a War?!!

            Why is gordon increasig the levy to 75p in fuel tax and 18p in vat on fuel adding to the cost of food, fruit and veg which have to be trucked by road to supermarkets!?!!

          • Anonymous says:


          • MingeMunchersRus says:


          • MingeMunchersRus says:

            why is the site stting replies where it chooses again ?

          • QWERTY says:

            Liebour mongs don’t know how to use a keyboard, like everything else all they know is how to throw it through the window of a Starbucks before going off to rape a rent boy.

          • marxists are scum says:

            The labour trolls are on a three line whip with extra help being brought in from students who are told to sit at their computers all night shilling for gordon. Wankers, do some fucking work, you parasites.

          • nell says:

            Yes liebour trolls are no doubt working the night shift.

            More important is how much is gordon paying them, of our taxpayers money, to keep telling his lies, or to keep smearing and spinning on his behalf!?

          • Labour tease says:

            Nell! I bet my virginity against yours on the result of the election. Winner take all.
            How about it?

          • nell says:

            I’ll bet my one of 40 years against your ( how many??)

          • Sunny Jim says:

            Tsk, the backroom boys are pretending to throw punches at one another, what a limp and awful looking scene. Wipe the sweat from each other’s short and curlies and let’s get cracking with some decent debate you ill-timed introductions to the world of abortion…

          • Only a fool votes for a Pig says:

            Tsk. Bald men fighting over a comb.

            Let’s debate the pathetic minute difference between NuLabour/BluLabour and ignore the obvious fact that they are corrupt troughing thieves covered in shit.

          • Oi! labour trolls do your homework on the evils of socialism says:

            Yap Yap Yap!

            bored already of the little labour puppy trolls Yapping their nonsense

          • John Bercalf says:

            Compared to what, the Tory shills donating their shrill shilling for ‘The Boy’ George?

          • I love puppies and bow wows

          • SamCamCumYum says:

            Wham bam Sam Cam sham baby.

          • laughably obvious tory sp33do shorts impersonator who wants all posts deleted says:

            you’re fooling nobody c’unt

          • Sarah Brown Trousers Time says:

            Alan B’stard and Derek C’unt – The Reunion Tour.

          • Marxists do it equally says:

            What? And miss the fun in winding up wankers like you?
            I’d do that for free.

          • Zulu comes to the Cotswolds says:

            What I’d like to know is who let all these Africans into Cirencester?
            It’s like the set from Roots down there some days.

          • Dagling wart says:

            Its probably that prick of an MP, Geoffrey Clifton-Brown shadow minister for overseas development, wants to turn Cirencester into Nairobi.

          • white flight says:

            Now you know how the rest of us feel!

          • Immigration stats. are phony says:

            interesting to hear that Gordon is now carefully saying “net” migration figures.. which should ring loud alarm bells.

            Either way I don’t believe him, mobile phone carriers and supermarkets estimate 74 million users and food consumers.

            Google for: City Eye: Facts on a plate: our population is at least 77 million

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            He wont have to travel then will he !?

          • GOR-GONE BROWN says:

            What is ?

          • A MESSAGE TO LABOUR on the DOOR STEPS says:

            What Is ?

          • Tom Logan, Institute for Studies says:

            Im shocked by this revelation!

            No wait, im bored. Sorry got shock and boredom confused there.


          • Doctor Mick says:

            When do the school hols finish, titfer?

          • bird wsb says:

            Interesting juxtaposition. I don’t think you mean me!

        • 306
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          Turns out she is a convent girl …. the best!!!!

  23. 50
    Cameron will be PM says:

    Just saw Nick Clegg’s wife, Miriam, on the news. Phwoarr! What a babe! Talk about punching above your weight. Sam Cam’s lovely too. As for Sarah Beard….So as I was saying, Miriam Clegg is a hottie.

  24. 52
    Clegg's Boxing Gloves says:

    Miriam > Sarah > The Horse ‘With Child’

    • 68
      Sarah Twatter says:

      I object to suggestions that I look like Mrs. Clegg with a fatsuit and milk churns for legs.

  25. 57
    Slotgob says:

    Wasn’t I a sexy wife? I thought all the men in Britain fancy me.
    Mrs B Liar.

  26. 59
    Thatcher's Four Hours Of Sleep says:

    Cherie is quite a handsome fella, let’s be fair.

  27. 62
    Anonymous says:

    What’s wrong with the spastics that they can’t count overnight and get all results by 3am? This used to be the norm 30-40 years ago. The Returning Officers need a good kicking.

  28. 71

    Thats it them election over
    Result Labour win by an unexpected landslide !

    HEADLINE: Labour trailing massively in the election count
    Snatched victory from the jaws of defeat

    when All the ballot boxes counted this morning amazinglyl went to Labour Townhall staff said it was worth standing guard on the boxes overnight
    and the result means that we all get to keep our jobs and pensions
    not like if those tory bastards had won !

  29. 73
    Insomniac says:

    Guido , leave our traditions alone! We want the result on the night. You can look away if you want to!

    • 76
      Bercow and Sheep Farm says:

      Oh come on, the result is already known before the counting begins, do you honestly think this is a democracy anymore?

    • 85
      stun says:

      Seconded. Or judging by the general tenor of the responses, seventiethed.

  30. 76
    Eddie says:

    I see Sarah Brown’s crony, Aussie bitch Kathy Lette, is all over Sky News smearing Samantha Cameron. Of course, the Sky journo doesn’t challenge her and lets her smear with impugnity.

    • 79
      Bercow and Sheep Farm says:

      Smear tests with SamCam – Live on Webcameron.

      • 90
        ex-labour says:

        Sarah Brown’s and Damien McBride’s campaign to smear Samantha Cameron has only just started. Kathy Lette’s attack on Sky is just the first salvo.

        • 471
          Susie says:

          Let them. They’ll show themselves for the scum they are.

          Anyone who give a pregnant woman stress deserves to be ostracized as the lowest of the low — they’re giving an unborn baby stress as well.

    • 514
      James Wale says:

      Despite her stereotyping of English people as condescending and unfriendly.

      She is a supporter of the UK Labour Party.

  31. 80
    EDLer says:

    Fuck off Guido. We want traditions maintained and that means counting on the night as they always have done. Foreigners like you should mind your own fucking business.

  32. 84
    Mr Ned says:

    The best part of the election is watching the results come in overnight…

    One of the things we can still beat the Americans at, and we don’t need those corrupt and insecure electronic voting machines either.

    • 93
      stun says:

      Until then, I though that hanging chads were something you went to the clap clinic about.

  33. 86
    JK says:

    Leaving counting until the next day gives Labour scum all night to tamper with the ballot boxes.

    • 87
      Mrs. Darling says:

      Now now, Darling seems like a decent chap.

      • 92
        ex-labour says:

        Darling is a slimy apparatchik who has stayed close and loyal to Brown throughout his career. Watch what he does not what he says.

      • 227
        Step this way,Labour. says:

        Bollocks – he needs execut*ing too – with a really short drop so he dangles for a while.

        Let none of them off.

  34. 91
    AnnInnis says:

    Sorry Guido I am with team Iain on this one. Apart from the excitement the less time there is to tamper with votes the better.

  35. 98
    BillyBob - Stop immigration, reduce crime !! says:

    30??…….. 30 predominantly labour areas waiting to manipulate the vote overnight, you can guarantee the twats will be working a nightshift !!!

  36. 105
    The Admiral says:

    So, that’s Guido 0 Everyone else 10…

  37. 107

    If You Want To Throw Up Put Sky On Now Brown is Groveling again !

    • 108

      fuck me he’s got all the cabinet in the audience may be they are there to fill all the seats

      • 119

        this is a selected audience of labour party activists
        and some business leaders
        at the end of browns bull shite there will be a questions and answers session
        apart from the plants errrbusiness men in the room they will also be answering questions from twitter
        so all the labour trolls will be sat tweeting the questions from the list given them earlier by brown it should be fun !

        coverage on sky news and the BBC

  38. 110
    justoneglass says:

    Come on Guido – do we really want Brown being PM for 8 hours longer than is absolutely necessary?

  39. 111


    well yes he’s a fucking golfer thats what he does
    if he doesn’t tee off he cant play golf you fuckwitts !

  40. 112
    A concerned Chinese voter says:

    Cant be the first time that Iain Dale has wanted to prolong an election

  41. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Any ideas on what happened to question time tonight? Just got back and can’t see it listed.

    • 116
      Engineer says:

      Was on last night. Sorry.

      PS You didn’t miss much.

      • 127
        Anonymous says:

        Cheers for that. I’ll chance it and watch it on iplayer. Mogodon party for one it would appear.

        • 223
          Bill Gatepost says:

          enjoy it while you can its going to be blacklisted under the mandelweasel digital bill, only programmes approved by the communications minister will be allowed comrade.

    • 122
      stun says:

      It was on last night, for some reason. iPlayer the only option now, though apparently you didn’t miss much.

      • 123
        stun says:

        Must hit F5 before replying. Bollocks.

      • 234

        It was on last night because of the massively important golf ball stick game on the telly tonight,

        That’ll teach ITV, we can do sporty stuff on the Beeb too.

        • 430
          revolting peasant says:

          Question Time is currently on the BBC News 24 channel. Not a good week though and far more Labour supporters than usual…

  42. 114
    Engineer says:

    I wonder if this is the explanation.

    Guido’s on a promise for May 6th, and doesn’t want to have to rush it in order to keep up with the election news. It would look odd if the country’s premier political blogger disappeared at 7pm on polling day saying, “I’ll leave you all to it, see you in the morning.”

  43. 115
    Agent 99 says:

    …………….BREAKING NEWS……………..

    BBC reporting that Kudos has enforced their intellectual rights and requested the removal of the Gene Hunt posters.

    Hat tip SthLondon Nick Pb.com

    Apparently Labour did not ask permision for use of the image etc. What a bunch of tossers a spectacular Own goal

    *Blues and two’s*

    Err “Ok pull it over Gorgon and turn off the engine! Your nicked my son”

    • 294
      Anonymous says:

      More Likely the Labour Party are releived this poster has been withdrawn as it did more for Cameron than anything so far. Convinient for Kudos to complain methinks !

  44. 117
    BillyBob - Stop immigration, reduce crime !! says:


    what can you say?? Life is a bitch !!

  45. 124
    Beardy Weirdy says:

    I will be up beating one off to the red hot males channel anyway so keep the overnight count, I can flick between laughing at mp’s and blowing my load

  46. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Guido – stop acting like a silly prat. Start fighting corruption instead of going along with it.

  47. 133
    universal hiss says:

    & I like the rickety polling booths with the little stubby pencil on a string.

    I want to stay up all night to boo & hiss & cheer & clap & get rat arsed in front of the telly.

    • 146

      Why do you think Guido wants the count the following day ?
      Because he will be so pissed on election night that he’ll fall asleep and miss the count and if they have it the following day
      he can sit in the pub and watch the results whilst you’ve guessed it
      getting pissed
      a two session election must be better than a single !

  48. 139

    Ha ha ha ha Nick Clegg what a c*nt
    Nick Robinson just had him on the ropes
    iRobinson said half an hour on the tarmac at a scotch airport
    a secondhand poster some journalists and Not a voter in sight !
    they then got on cleggs battle bus
    Robinson said you are slating the tories over a VAT rise Can you guarantee that if you were in power that you wont put up VAT
    clegg : we see no need to hike up VAT
    well Vince cable said he can’t rule out a rise in VAT
    clegg we see no need to put up VAT at this time Thats not what Vince is saying you are slating the tories over a VAT hike yet you cant rule one out yourself Clegg well we cant predict future budgets can we
    What a Tit !

    • 525

      Cable and Clegg – a twisted pair if ever I saw one.

      Mind you, Brown and Balls are the coaxial of evil, so I guess we’ll have to go with the 24AWG that is the Tories. They’re a bit thin, but so long as we keep the potential low, they might not overheat.

  49. 140
    nell says:

    I don’t want to have to wait until friday evening to find out if we’ve finally got rid of gordon!!!

    Besides lots of local government officers get paid extra for doing that night count. If it’s a day count they’ll lose out ’cause they’ll have to go do their day job instead or use up a day’s holiday. You wouldn’t want to do that to them would you?

    • 534
      Doctor Mick says:

      Brown does not deserve an extra 12 hours in power. Get the imbecile out as soon as pos!

  50. 144
    Holly says:

    We have always counted the vote on the night for years and years.
    Another lazy bunch!
    Another tradition down the pan,for ‘modernisation’.

  51. 147
    I AM IN LOVE says:

    Does anyone think Emily Nomates is secretly an angel from heaven.

  52. 150
    Mercian says:

    The longer a count is delayed, the greater the opportunity for fraud – stuffing ballot boxes etc.

    • 161
      universal hiss says:

      Saying that I’ve had two polling cards ever since I’ve lived in Scotland(20 years).

      I would be tempted to use both but I live in SNP territory. Badlands. They have wall-eyed banjo players outside the polling place.Shudders.

  53. 153
    old john says:

    no but she could get a runners up rossette at crufts

  54. 155

    GORGONS Q and A Session on BBC24 Now !

  55. 159
    DB says:

    If you trust Labour to look after the ballot boxes overnight you’ve really lost it! Their record with postal votes should be warning enough.

    • 164
      labour vote-keeper says:

      We will ensure that the right sort of votes are ready to be counted in the morning.

      • 208
        ShoutsAtTheTV says:

        ..I’m finally beginning to understand the ‘voided ballot paper’ statistic.

        “Somebody’s defaced this paper with a vote for the Conservatives”

    • 395
      Doctor Mick says:

      The political parties are allowed nowhere near the boxes and there’s a copper on duty. The boxes are fine it is postal voting which is open to abuse.

  56. 160

    Ha Ha Ha Fuckin Ha Brown on comunity civil service
    We are at this moment actually setting up a students civil service

    He Has No Shame

  57. 162
    Absolute bounder says:

    No, the counts have to be at night, all those large breasted girls from the local bank helping count votes, the sullen faces of the labour team as they pace up and down sensing defeat, and then the apres-count rumpety-pump-pump with one of the tired but very horny counting women under the town hall stage trying hard not to scream out as she orgasms for the eighth time….

    • 166

      straight out of Men Only 12 VOL 65

      • 172
        A. Campbell says:

        No no no. It was Forum.

      • 177
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Look Frankie,

        Why do you get hot over Emily when you clearly are a fan of the pneumatic?

        • 243
          MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

          Because my “blow up” has got a cold
          Her nose keep running !

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            You cheap two timer!

            You do not possess the strength of character to be a six timer!

        • 247
          MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

          Hi Ar moniker i didn’t see it was my love rival
          she looked good on the Prescott’s Dirty Dick video
          she looks like a real “Dirty Bird”

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Yes Frankie!

            BTW I won my dual today. Doesn’t matter much for the election …. the fool was going to vote UKIP, God rest his soul.

            Now, do you think me the sort of man that would consider spit-roasting a lady of the calibre of Miss E Nomates with a cad such as yourself?

            It is an abomination to human decency to talk in such terms….

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            All right sir
            i was just trying to spare you the indignity off “Sloppy seconds “

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            And heres a tune to compliment your collection of picturs of “Our Angel”

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            You can only pull that trick once! She’s mine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ……………………………..

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            moniker: You like large weapons
            check out my post 237 you could referee and execute any cheats

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            I saw it hours ago Frankie. I was tempted but decided to let it lie. I have to keep in tip-top form for a little task that is coming up!

  58. 163
    A Shagger says:

    Sam Cameron and Sarah Brown are ugly mingers but Sam Cam has a cool boho fashion sense and i’ve always wanted to shag a pregnant bird so she wins, even though neither would be my first choice usually.

    • 217
      Such a wonderful combination says:

      Sarah Brown;

      East Berlin woman’s face

      Middle East woman’s thighs

      Mid-US trailer park trash intellect.

      Get lost you grotty slag bag.

    • 511
      Anonymous says:

      Sam Cam’s a babe.

  59. 171
    A fan of Iain says:

    I love you Iain keep up the good work


  60. 173
    nell says:

    Y’know one of the things I wish they would stop doing? Door to door canvassing!

    What a waste of time – it doesn’t change anybody’s mind about how they are going to vote.

    And you can bet your bottom dollar they’ll wait to knock on your front door until you’ve just sat down to dinner, have slumped in front of the tv in your dressing gown or just washed your hair or something.

    • 184
      Tits McGee says:

      They’ve already been round my bloody house! David ‘Stuck In A’ Rutley of the Tories asked if I felt I was betrayed by Labour. I replied that I felt more betrayed by the local Conservative party and their lazy and passive handling of the ‘racist party that shall not be named’. He looked a bit put out, I almost felt sorry for him.

      • 432
        Nick2 says:

        Unfortunately my local Tory PC visited the day *before* the revelation about his ‘loan’ to a rent-boy went public…

    • 197
      Engineer says:

      PM programme had a panel of – erm – elder statespeople giving their thoughts about the election. When Eddie Mair asked them if they missed the canvassing, they all said no, and one said he’d always hated stopping people in the street and asking them to vote for him.

      Suspect they don’t actually enjoy knocking on doors. I dare say that being told to “depart forthwith” twenty times an evening could be a little disheartening.

      PS. We’ve had no canvassers yet, but four leaflets. One from an independent, who actually sounds quite sane, one UKIP, and two Conservative ones. Nothing yet from Lib Dems or Labour, who hold the seat. Fortunately, our paper recycling wheelybins are quite capacious.

      • 213
        Cheese Lover says:

        I always fill in the Labour ones, ‘hope this helps you to go bankrupt’ and post them back, so they get charged the freepost. Only a small step, but it pleases my decaying brain.

      • 226
        universal hiss says:

        I’ve had an SNP leaflet & silence. Most of the SNP leaflet was silence too.

      • 235
        nell says:

        All we’ve had so far is a beenpea leaflet – but they don’t seem to have any interest in care for the elderly, health or education. The everyday sort of politics that concern most of us.

        As you say about gordon , he was speaking tonight to an invited audience of labour supporters. It’s not likely he’s going canvassing the ordinary man/woman on the street is it??

        They seem to have him fairly tightly mothballed away from the real cut and thrust of an election campaign don’t they?!!

    • 224
      Alan Hanson on the sofa says:

      When they call I just say “Can you pop back in half an hour? I was just in the middle of having a wank.”

      For some reason they never return.

    • 507
      Zed says:

      If they are Labour, invite them in, make them a cuppa and make it obvious you are cross if they refuse or try to leave quickly. Keep them there as you are a pleasant host.
      The longer you capture them, the less time they have to make any converts at all.

  61. 175
    Didn't They Do Well says:

    There’s a hole in my budget, dear Gordon dear Gordon, there’s a hole in my budget, but it’s nothing compared to the ‘Boy’ Osborne’s.

    • 203
      Engineer says:

      The hole in Gordoom’s budget this year is £163 billion. And he’s jabbering about £6 billion “unfunded tax cuts”?

      You couldn’t make it up.

      • 237
        nell says:

        Ironic isn’t it that £6billion is about what he lost of our money when he sold gold at the brownbottom?

        • 274
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          Only 1bn less than Black Wednesday FFS! What a fuss they made of that – got elected three times I seem to remember.

          • Ben Elton says:

            But Black Wednesday was under the evil tories!

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Precisely! NewLab are, by their own admission and using their own tractor stats, as evil as the Tories were EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR!!!!!

  62. 176
    Carol Vorderman's Question Time Script says:

    As with punk, he was already dead thirty years ago.

  63. 179
    Ted Bundy says:

    Is it true that the Lib Dems in Cambridge are now so irritated by Old Holborns hilarious campaign that they are complaining that he is contravening the 1936 Public Order Act by wearing a political uniform?

    Prohibition of uniforms in connection with political objects.

    (1)Subject as hereinafter provided, any person who in any public place or at any public meeting wears uniform signifying his association with any political organisation or with the promotion of any political object shall be guilty of an offence:.
    Provided that, if the chief officer of police is satisfied that the wearing of any such uniform as aforesaid on any ceremonial, anniversary, or other special occasion will not be likely to involve risk of public disorder, he may, with the consent of a Secretary of State, by order permit the wearing of such uniform on that occasion either absolutely or subject to such conditions as may be specified in the order.

    (2)Where any person is charged before any court with an offence under this section, no further proceedings in respect thereof shall be taken against him without the consent of the Attorney-General [F1except such as are authorised by [F2section 6 of the Prosecution of Offences 1979]], so, however, that if that person is remanded in custody he shall, after the expiration of a period of eight days from the date on which he was so remanded, be entitled to be [F3released on bail] without sureties unless within that period the Attorney-General has consented to such further proceedings as aforesaid.

    I have been pissing myself with laughter

    • 185

      Listen Old Holborn
      we really want to win this seat and these people know fuck all about politics so we just might nick it
      but if they see you in fancy dress you will make them laugh and they will remember when they go to vote
      look heres the deal you drop your campagne and if we get in you become Lord Old Holborn
      what do you mean your already a Lord
      Oh errr Knighthood ? BlackRod ? Speaker ?Lib Dem leader ?

    • 531

      LOL – but cancelling Strawberry Fayre?

      The bastards! I was so stoned at the last one I went to that the ripples on the Cam kept coming up the bank and making the ground all wriggly – fond memories ;-)

      Mind you, that was in 1985…

  64. 181
    Night Owl says:

    Oh dear I must be a political junkie. Now that Dr Guido Fawkes has given his diagnosis I will seek professional help immediately.

  65. 182
    the gang of five says:

    “However there will he admits himself still be nearly thirty pioneering constituencies for next day counting on Friday 7 May.”

    Great, so we all have to wait another day because of the laggards. It’s like playing an extra 10 minutes of the cup final on the following day FFS.

    • 190
      Cheese Lover says:

      One of those times when one wishes there was a ‘recommend post’ system here…

  66. 183
    streamfisher says:

    Extra time then penalty shoot out, no replays.

    • 228

      Penalty shoot out what a great idea !
      first we tell them that there will only be300 seats in parliament then we issue them each with a gun lock them all in the HoC and leave them to it
      the last 300 alive can Serve Us for the next 4 years !

      and i recommend this policy to the house !

  67. 194
    Glenrothes Gertie says:

    I wonder how many marked electoral registers will be accidentally removed for confidential waste disposal this time.

    Alternatively, there’s the Irish approach:

  68. 199
    khmer marron says:

    well labour printed £200 billion of cash………

    steal the votes and burn them……..

    replace with 200 million labour votes giving gordie 300% of the vote……..

    job done……….

    after all the lying and cheating of the past 13 years who on earth would trust anyone in parliament??????

  69. 209
    Cheese Lover says:

    So, sadly, has Guy Kewney. Probably known to computer buffs only.

  70. 210
    Anonymous says:

    Liverpool 1 Nil up after goal disallowed
    but Ref reverses desision !

  71. 212
    Two days gone and already Brown is exposed! says:

    Two observations from today;

    1.)The weather,since the moron devil incarnate Brown was forced to call his own funeral for May 6th,has been wonderful.
    Expect more of the same as the country emerges,blinking,in to sunlit uplands as this criminal and his thugs are expelled from the power they so appallingly used to defraud us all.

    2.)Brown on R4 Today programme this morning was gang -rap*ed by his interrogator – if you saw a man driving down the A303 this morning clapping his hands and looking maniacal,it was ME!

  72. 214
    Anonymous says:

    l/pool 2 Nill

  73. 219

    David Cameron: “Guido Fawkes Blog ban a mistake’

    David Cameron has disclosed that he went political blogging as a boy as he insisted that the political bloggers needed to be controlled.

    • 231

      FUCK OFF TAT !
      GO TO YOUR OWN SECRET WEB SITE ! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      • 245
        • 491
          Dave does not believe in democracy and loves war criminals says:

          er Dave Nick Griffin was elected Warsi the mouth was not, don’t believe in democracy do you dave, and Nick Griffin never murdered a million Iraqis including women and babies, are you proud, perhaps if Nick Griffin were a war criminal you would have given him a standing ovation!

      • 361
        Doctor Mick says:

        titfer couldn’t demolish a walnut whip without his mum’s help.

  74. 220
    D L George says:

    Wasn’t it Harrpy (Hubby Shortlist) Haridan who wanted to push through next day counting? Seem to remember She mentioned it after there was a thread on here gloating about watching the sob’s crash and burn on the night.

    Next day voting? no chance, Not unless you trust the likes of Liebore councillors with your vote. Plus, we have an all night party booked just for the occasion.

    • 281
      Jack Dromedary says:

      I want to make sure every vote counts: I’ll count them personally, if need be….

      Ooooh, look ! I win !!!! Pass the Liebour Trough to me, Harridan !

      • 299

        “I’ll count them personaly”
        you forgot to add “two weeks before the election ” or as soon as they arrive from labour party HQ

  75. 229
    What are you on? says:

    You really are a wanker Guido – these Labour cum will do anything to keep in power.

    How naive of you.

    Oh well,suppose that’s my last post on here…..

  76. 236
    Martin Day says:

    A sad day fo rme and I shall be wearing my trousers at half-mast tomorrow in memory of Malcolm

    Malcolm McLaren, the former manager of punk group the Sex Pistols, has died in New York, aged 64, his agent has said.

    • 242
      The devil Brown says:

      Shame Brown can’t follow him in to hell tomorrow.

    • 246
      nell says:

      Who is this malcom maclaren who has upstaged all the election news?? He’s less well known than the Lord Sutch candidate for Middle Wallop!

      • 251
        Martin Day says:

        He would have got my vote,see the last line

        An unashamed self-publicist, McLaren gained notoriety as manager of the Sex Pistols who were propelled to No 1 in the charts with God Save The Queen in 1977. Having brought together the roguish band members he went on to become a household name in his own right, entering into the public spotlight again in recent years when he stood for the newly created London mayoralty in 2000. His policies included the serving of alcohol in libraries.

      • 253
        universal hiss says:

        Just a pathetic piece of rubbish nell.

        No need to worry about it. Just avoid all the press/ telly stuff.

      • 254
        Enginer says:

        you sad old crone
        we know you are so ancient you remember al jolson fondly but those who aren’t senile or decrepit know who mclaren is
        what’s the matter dearie? are you feeling the icy hand of mortality on your shoulder? better atone for all you’re sick disgusting twisted smearing with dead children and disabled children. the fires grow warm to welcome you and your corrupt black heart

        • 276
          Engineer says:

          Use your own moniker, TaT.

          • Enginer says:

            fuck off rimmer
            can’t you read ? it’s different twat
            do keep up

          • Engineer says:

            ***Raises eyes heavenward.***

          • Knackers Yard says:

            And toes?

          • Doctor Mick says:

            titfer likes dressing up in other people’s clothes. I think I’ll call him Priscilla from now on.

          • Doctard Prick says:

            it’s the dog-rapist Doctard Prick!
            how goes it Doctor dog humper?
            still rimming Camoron for small change I see you spineless party shill

          • nell says:

            This is clearly one of gordon’s ‘heavies’ – damian, whelan or kevan……

            They are the Mafia of the ‘no integrity’ arm, of the slowly drowning liebour party, who are paid to abuse,smear and lie.

            How many votes will they win with these ‘inspired’ tactics ? Or how many votes will they lose by behaving this way……??

          • nell the smell of shill and smearing shit says:

            fuck off you daft old booger
            I’m not voting for the BluLabour or NewLabour thieves
            only a complete idiot votes for a crook and you certainly are that

            you just can’t accept the fact that they are both fucking despised
            the public hates Brown and the Heir to Blair
            and they hate lickspittle arselicking drones like too

          • Looney Toons says:

            Crikey! Dr Mick back from his electro shock treatment after tat upped his voltage to maximum in a desperate attempt to “kill or cure” in the quack’s own intimitable prognosis.
            What’s up doc?

          • Doctor Mick says:

            titfer tat, there’s no need to resort to personal abuse. Unless of course you have no arguments to fall back on. We are all ladies and gentlemen here so please have a bit of decorum if you are able. You really will have a better chance of getting your message across if you are polite. Now do fuck off ya wee cretin.

          • Anon says:

            None of the above posts were made by TaT.
            That is obvious.
            Cripes, how thick are the tory trolls?

  77. 243
    Tony On Safari says:

    Hi guys

    wish you where here



    Tony Blair

  78. 252
    nell says:

    So gordon quietly puts a tax of 2.5p per litre on petrol

    • 260
      nell says:

      I don’t know what happened there but it cut my comment out. Let’s try again.

      gordon quietly puts a tax of 2.5p per litre on petrol last Thursday and today the price has reached £1.20 per litre. 75pence of the £1.20 is fuel tax!!

      Interesting that the UK fuel tax under gordon since November 2008 has risen 14%!! Whereas, on average, fuel tax in other EU countries over the same period has risen approx.2%.

      gordon – the Fagin of British Politics – the greatest pickpocket of all time!

      • 266
        Insp*ctor Blake says:

        Get the bus, Dear. Surely all those privatis*d companies provide a consumer based s*rvice cat*ring to the fre* market n*eds?

      • 270
        Mr Plum says:

        Does that include vat

        • 288
          nell says:

          No! As I understand it 27p is the production cost and profit. 75p is the fuel tax and 18p is the VAT.

          As the popular saying goes – gordon’s having a laugh isn’t he?!!

        • 298
          Free market fuel circa 50p a litre says:

          …and tax on tax. VAT being levied on the fuel duty component.

          Remember how in 2008 with the temporary VAT reduction to 15%, fuel duty was hiked to make up the difference.

          2009 fuel duty (as of 1 September 2009) in the United Kingdom was:

          * 56.19 pence per litre for main road fuels, unleaded petrol and diesel
          * 65.91 pence per litre for leaded petrol
          * 36.19 pence per litre for biodiesel and bioethanol
          * 22.16 pence per kg for road fuel natural gas
          * 27.67 pence per kg for road fuel liquefied petroleum gas (‘LPG’)

          On 1 December 2008 a permanent 2p increase in fuel tax was introduced to offset the rate cut in VAT from 17.5% to 15% bringing the duty rate for the main road fuels up to 52.35p per litre.

          On 1 April 2009 the duty rate for unleaded petrol and diesel was increased by 1.84 ppl to 54.19p per litre and again on 1 September 2009 by 2 ppl to reach the current level of 56.19 per litre. These rates will be increased further on 1 April 2010 to 2013 by 1ppl above indexation each year.

          Expect prices north of 1.30 by the summer as commodity price inflation really kicks in.

    • 264
      Inspector Blake says:

      Get the bus, Dear. Surely all those privatised companies provide a consumer based service catering to the free market needs?

      • 296
        nell says:

        Let’s put it this way.

        If you’re the carer of a disabled child who has medical consultants in Leicester and London and you’re 100 miles away from both the bus isn’t an option.

        If you’re a a Surveyor that covers 40,000miles a year across most of England , the bus isn’t an option.

        If you’re a fruit and veg supplier to Sainsbury’s, Morrisons and Tesco’s and need to use large, chilled trucks to supply our food to supermarkets, the bus isn’t an option. (And just think what gordon’s fuel duty and vat on petrol is doing to our food costs. Oh I forgot labour said the other day the cost of food falling! Idiots that they are!!!)

        If you are a resident in a rural area – try catching a bus if you can find one and don’t have to walk several miles to get to a bus stop.

        and on and on …………………………….

  79. 261



    • 272
      nell says:

      Yes. Great song.

    • 304
      Free consultation. No fee. says:

      But the Tory drones here have waited thirteen years for a new messiah to lead them to the promised land, and instead they got Dave. With his Kinnock like ability to snatch defeat from certain victory, it looks like another five years of hard choices for the blue rinse brigade. The new touchy feely type of modern Conservatism rings hollow with the electorate. Half of their votes are only desperate attempts to get rid of Brown at any cost. Incorporate UKIP and B&P concerns and they might curry favour, but as it is they just come across as wet, old school tie chancers with an innate belief in their right to rule.
      Ever get the feeling you’ve been had?

      • 313

        YEP !

      • 319
        nell says:

        Bless! It’s the poor labour brainwashed who believe in messiahs. First bliar and now gutlessgordon. Sadly both have been gods with clay feet haven’t they??!!

        Real people who vote tory or other tend to be more independent minded. They also tend to be people who have to earn a living.

        In this election it’s all about getting rid of an obviously rotting government most of whom have forgotten what it is to earn a living. You only have to look at labour’s jacqui smith, ainbustingaut or kevan, to name just a few, and their huge expenses to know that these people long ago lost touch with reality!

        And yes before you say it there were some tories and libdems too but they were a very small percentage of the overall total. The big majority were labour. baronessu, devine, morley, chaytor……………………….

        • 321
          the senile old bat doesn't even know that Dave is a featherweight Blair clone. Bless! says:

          DAVID CAMERON, the young pretender to the Tory throne who came close yesterday to embracing Tony Blair in his conference speech, has already done so in private.
          Mr Cameron, 38, who has put a modernising agenda at the centre of his campaign, clearly enjoys the comparisons that have been made between him and Labour’s most successful modern-day Prime Minister.

          At a dinner with newspaper executives on the eve of his address, he took the comparison a step further. “I am the heir to Blair,” he said. If his hosts were in any doubt about what they had heard, Mr Cameron repeated the mantra. He also said that a Cameron Tory Government would not reverse all of the Blairite reforms in the public services.

          George Osborne, the Shadow Chancellor and fellow member of the so-called Notting Hill set of young modernising Tories, was also at the dinner table. Mr Osborne, defending the heir to Blair boast, said: “We have nothing to be ashamed of in saying it.”

          the Editor of The Daily Telegraph, was not so sure. “David,” he said. “I would not repeat that outside this room.”

          • nell says:

            Cameron no doubt is many things. What I know is that he’s not bullybrown who pulls secretary’s out of chairs and screams obscene foul mouthed abuse at staff.

            I suspect cameron will not levy stealth taxes as gordon has dishonestly done. Though I have no doubt he will levy taxes and the next few years ahead are going to be tough. I want honesty and I want to be told what the cost is of this massive debt that gordon has created.

            I suspect cameron will not backstab his most loyal supporters as gutlessgordon tried to do to darling. I want Ministers who are not going to be a laughing stock in the international arena like balls and aintbustingagut and gordon.

            I suspect cameron will not adopt bunkerbrown’s hideaway mentality. I want openness, not doctored statistics such as we have now and hidden stealth taxes and quiet printing presses ‘producing’ £200billion worthless pounds as gordon wastes it all in a black hole.

            Let’s face it for those of us that don’t like gordon’s chaotic economic incompetence , his anger management problems, his poor international image that brings us all into disrepute, his buffoonery, his odd personality that prevents him from connecting with real people, his presiding over the biggest troughing corrupt government of all time……….the election await us!!

          • The last socialist in redneck Norfolk says:

            “Cameron no doubt is many things.” To many nells.

          • nell loves the Heir to Blair says:

            He’s not “many things” you daft old booger.
            He’s the Heir to Blair and he himself admits it.
            Just because Brown’s shit doesn’t mean you can sneak in a shit Blair clone and expect to get away with it.
            Some of us have standards.
            I won’t vote for either piggy thieving bastard.
            You’re just another Cameron apologist shill.
            Flapping your gums pretending Dave Blair isn’t a lightweight Public Relations scam that the very stupid fall for. Like you.
            This will get deleted anyway as Guido can’t stand criticism of Camoron any more. But most people aren’t fooled love, you clearly still are because you’re bit doolally.

          • Anon says:

            10.52pm, by attacking nell, who is a very nice and decent person, you are pouring Labour votes down the drain by showing what a nasty bunch of warmongering foulmouthed scum the Labour party is.
            Good work!

          • Anon as Thieves says:

            What happend to ‘troops out now’ tat you fucking hypocrite.
            You’re just another warmonger sucking the cock of warcriminals like Blair and warmongers like Cameron.
            Well done.

        • 336
          Turnip Taliban says:

          ??!! ??!!

          silly old codger

          • nell says:

            Poor old gordon is . Isn’t he?

            I wonder when his minders, sarah, mandy and whelan are going to let him loose to talk to a real member of the public??!

            Not going to happen is it?? No soapbox moment for gordon – no battlebus and then emerging into a town square to face real people. Not for gordon!!!

            He’s more controlled by his handlers than howardhughes!!!

          • Poor old Dave Blair. He's a better Blair impersonator than Rory Bremner!!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! ??! ? says:

        • 415
          nell says:

          No labour mp’s have been doing that up until yesterday when parliament was, finally, thank god, prorogued so their extreme expenses have finally come to an end. aintbusingaut and kevan have had about £300k each in expenses .

          jacqui well we all know what she claimed . The carrot topped one ducked her CGT and sol several houses bought with taxpayers (Our) money and made a profit, as did many of her liebour troughers.

          Then we have baronnessu and scotland! And let’s not forget devine, chaytor and morley . And all of these are the tip of the iceberg!!! Oh Yes there were also libdems, snp’s and tories in that scandal but they were, tellingly, small in number by comparison to liebour troughers.

          And there is more to come!!

          As for the heir to blair comment made by cameron long long ago – bad comment. Lesson learned!

          Not as bad though as ‘I’ve save the world’ or ‘I’ve cured boom and bust’ or ‘Our troops in Afghanistan ( never mind Iraq that he also, deliberately, failed in order to spite bliar – never mind how many troops died because of his spite!!!) have everything they need’ …….

          Evil, Lying Toad that he is!!!

        • 418
          Anonymous says:

          The only time Dave sweats is when he sees the latest polls.

        • 422
          nell the hypocrite says:

        • 423
          nell the hypocrite says:

          David Cameron took out maximum taxpayer-funded mortgage – then paid off own £75k loan four months later

          David Cameron was dragged personally into the expenses row after it was revealed that he paid off a loan on his London home shortly after taking out a £350,000 taxpayer-funded mortgage on his constituency house.
          The disclosure followed a powerful call by the Tory leader yesterday for the ‘full force of the law’ to be deployed against MPs who have abused allowances.
          Following a Mail on Sunday investigation Mr Cameron could now face searching questions about his own expense claims.


          Dave claimed for expenses on a second home – the mortgage interest, when he only had one mortgage. He was also one of the largest claimers of this expense in the commons for many years.

        • 481
          nell says:

          And what did gordon do?? He gifted his miniscule one bed flat in London to sarah when he moved into no.10 drowning street and she promptly rented it out for a profit. (And let’s not forget that he bought it from another labour sleight of hand merchant for a pittance!!)

          Then gordon promptly charged all his costs for his Kirkcaldy real home to the taxpayer, claiming it was his second home despite it being his ONLY home.

          So where now is his first home ??!!

          Very strange that because he doesn’t have one!!! Mr integrit, the Man with the Moralo Compass- Isn’t he!!??

        • 506
          nell the hypocite says:

          “it’s fine because Brown did it”
          er, no it’s fucking NOT dear.
          face it you’re a party shill squealing in faux outrage at Brown about the very same things Dave Blair does

          You have as much integrity or clue about a morality as any of the pigs

        • 554
          Anon says:

          Another attack on nell.
          You are obviously a woman labour troll with the mouth of a fishwife.
          You are such a foul mouthed whore that if you ever had a husband he has probably left you because he got fed up of your nagging and whingeing character, which would explain why you spend so much time here.
          I feel sorry for you really, you are just a lonely, spiteful spinster.
          Oh well.

        • 569
          Anon as Thives says:

          could you possibly be any more patronizing to nell tat?
          Leave her alone because she’s woman ??? You dumb fuck.

          You’re clearly still a spotty kid wanking in his basement and it shows.
          Keep taking the tablets and sucking off the crackheads for meph money you druggie wanker.

        • 570
          Anon as Thieves says:

          could you possibly be any more patronizing to nell tat?
          Leave her alone because she’s woman ??? You dumb fuck.

  80. 265
    Clarence Dock says:

    Come on Guido! We all know that by 2.pm every day you are rat arsed and by 11.00pm you are much the same. This is the full and only reason why you want the count on the following day. Nothing at all to do with Mrs Dale.

    I’m worried about Guido!

    • 268
      Here's Guido says:

      is it true he’s deleting anything critical of him ? this won’t last long then

  81. 283
    Sterling_Fund says:

    One question that seems to have evaded all the pundits so far is how quantitative easing has actually reduced the national deficit, since printing money and sending it to China must have actually done something to improve public finances.

    • 295
      Engineer says:

      How, exactly?

    • 392
      Moley says:

      The debt is now on the Bank of England’s books instead of the Government’s books.

      QE money has been borrowed from another source, not created.

      The debt will be cancelled when the Gilts are sold back into the market.
      (If they ever are).

  82. 285

    Wrong Guido – and computerised voting is even more open to fraud; take it from a developer.

    I suspect Guido wants the result to happen in the early afternoon so he can get hammered on the night, and then be relatively sober and cogent for the result.

    Talking of which, there really should be a window-lickers ball on election night, don’t you all agree?

    • 347
      Save the first dance for me says:

      As Hitler observed, when the time is right, the right man will emerge.
      Lead on Frank.

  83. 287
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, a Suggestion. Why dont you Sky plus the election through the night results and watch the whole thing unfold the next day after a good nights sleep.
    I,m sure no one will spoil it for you and mention the results on here before you’ve had a chance to view it.

  84. 302
    concrete pump says:


  85. 317
    universal hiss says:

    FFS. Washing up to Radio 4. Ni tax blaa,blaa. The first autistic political campaign.

    Are they all trying to bore us to death?

  86. 320
    Tarquin Bartleby says:

    Tarquin Bartleby agrees with Guido:

  87. 325

    London – (Pot/Kettle/Black Mess): Britain’s self-confessed top political blogger conman Guido Fawkes says he won’t be backing the Tories’ Oswald Mosley lookalike David Cameron ‘because he’s a massive fraud’.

    “Truss me,” Guido Fawkes told reporters today, “Cameron’s a third rate crook in a first class crook’s clothing

    • 359

      Why dont you take your face for a shit TAT ?
      Whats up with your web site
      has it crashed ? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      Space is a very lonely place and no one can hear you scream !

      TaT on line : the site for nobodies
      cause there is no body

      • 555
        Anon says:

        That isn’t TaT.
        TaT wouldn’t waste his time copying an idiot like you Frank.
        You’re a nobody.

  88. 327
    Zip a dee doo dah says:

    YG daily poll:
    LABOUR 31%
    LIB DEMS 18%

    • 372
      Yippee! a hung parliament says:


    • 466
      jgm2 says:


      I could weep.

      I occasionally go hunting deer. Tough fuckers. Shoot him right in the heart and the cu*nt will still run 400 yards, crashing through trees, haring across the countryside. You have to schlepp after him. Poor cu*nt. Why didn’t he just drop dead on the fucking spot – save me the trouble of going looking for him? Instinct. That’s why.

      Labour voters? Same. Exactly the fucking same. Not a thought in their fucking head. Just dumb fucking animals. Vote Labour. Yep. That’s what I do. I vote Labour me. I’m a Labour voter.

      What’s that noise? What’s that fucking crushing pain in my chest? Why are my lungs tossed across the grass like that? What’s all that red shit? [It's the deficit you thick cu*nt] Never mind – I’m going to race across that field —- and vote Labour.


      • 474
        Zed says:

        Yes – 31% but at least 10-15+% of those lazy f*ckers simply won’t be bothered voting short of Labour Party activists knocking on the doors of the council estates and giving them a ride down to the poll station.

        It’ not going to happen – and their activists are tired, demoralised, skint (and just think of the price of petrol !!!!!!!!!)

        Conservative NEVER miss a vote.

        It’s gonna be a Landslide !

        • 503
          jgm2 says:

          Surely the obvious solution to Labour running their thrombotic muppet army down to the polling station is a tack out-break. Punctures all round.

          Poor cu*nts will have to clamber onto their mobility scooters, strap on their oxygen masks, pack up their Zippos and fags and away for the local primary school.

          Don’t folk have to be CRB checked now if they’re transporting not only kids but also vulnerable adults? Yes they do!!!

          Genius. Ground those fucking drivers that don’t have CRB checks. Come on CCHQ.

          I have passed you the ball you have only to stick out a leg and slot it home. No more mass conveyancing of brain-dead fallow deer/’vulnerable’ labour voter to the polling station.

        • 504
          jgm2 says:

          Surely the obvious solution to Labour running their thrombotic muppet army down to the polling station is a tack out-break. Punctures all round.

          Poor cu*nts will have to clamber onto their mobility scooters, strap on their oxygen masks, pack up their Zippos and fags and away for the local primary school.

          Don’t folk have to be CRB checked now if they’re transporting not only kids but also vulnerable adults? Yes they do!!!

          Genius. Ground those fucking dr*vers that don’t have CRB checks. Come on CCHQ.

          I have passed you the ball you have only to stick out a leg and slot it home. No more mass conveyancing of brain-dead fallow deer/’vulnerable’ labour voter to the polling station.

          • 28 point lead. Gone. says:

            Explain how Dave pissed away a 28 point lead since Brown is such a useless fucker ?
            Because the obvious answer is that Dave is a useless fucker too.
            You’ll probably try to blame anyone other than your Heir to Blair hero.

          • Zed says:

            Those two dear ladies at Liverpool airrport trying to get the dead 91 year old onto a plane.

            Was that a Labour Party trial run for polling night mass transportation ?

          • 28 point lead. Gone. says:

            No answer.
            Just delfecting babble.

    • 469
      Zed says:


      It’s gonna be a Land-slide !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  89. 333
    Richard Timney Productions says:

    Nell and Engineer! Get the video! Exotic locations! Thousands of extras! A shimmering costume drama of two old Tories that meet, fall in love and blog all night in pursuit of Conservative orgasmic tantric government. The sweat, the fluids, the tears, as mutual trolling fails to bring about the relief of Dave enjoying the post coital fag in number ten. Starring Alan Duncan as Engineer , a rough horny handed son of a nut, and Julie Kirkbride as nell, the desirable femme fatal from Norfolk, her heart promised to Dave the dandy, but her eye turned by a grease monkey with a wrench and a twinkle in his post.
    Late night entertainment for adult MP’s only.

  90. 341

    David Cameron has stopped short of guaranteeing the Conservatives would safeguard the Guido Fawkes’ blog”Order Order if they win the election.

    But speaking during a visit to Belize he did acknowledge the blog is a “vital part” of the British satirical industry and needs investment

    • 364

      Have you been banned from the public toilets again TaT ?
      You really must find yourself a gay partner
      you need some bum fun to relieve your tension
      Never mind you’ll be back at school on monday
      and dont forget that note from mummy for the headmaster
      about the big boys bullying you

      • 410
        nutterwatch says:

        You ARE a mad fucker

      • 556
        Anon says:

        You’ve lost it Frank.
        That isn’t TaT.
        You suffer from paranioa and delusions of grandeur. You’ve stopped taking your medication again, haven’t you?

  91. 348
    Gordon Brown says:

    WTF did I write my sums on the back of?

  92. 351
    EU regulation has cost the UK £124 billion since 1998, 71% of the total cost says:


  93. 352
    Newton says:

    This was certainly an epic fail by Mr Fawkes.
    It’s quite something when the likes of Iain Dale shows you up along with most of the posters here for having such a stupid point of view.

    No overnight pause for vote-rigging and no electronic vote-rigging.
    So much for libertarianism.

  94. 357
    nell says:

    We’ve got a lot of liebour trolls on here tonight haven’t we??

    Thaey obviously don’t wnt to win votes because they aren’t talking about their policies or why they think gordon would be good for Britain. They aren’t trying to explain why he levies 75p fuel tax and 18p vat on our 120p litre petrol costs. They aren’t saying why they think he’d be good for the nhs or what he’ll do for social care for the elderly or for education.

    Nope! They are just being offensive – but then of course that’s what gordon does . It comes from the top doesn’t it?

    • 378
      Herman Van Rompuy says:

      Perhaps some people find blind acceptance that Tory good Labour bad solutions to the ongoing destruction of a land fit for mugs is also offensive.

      • 389
        Doctard Mick says:

        don’t confuse the old duffer
        she thinks Brown being a c’unt is an excuse for Dave being a c’unt
        you can’t talk reason to party shills and hypocrites
        they lost their ability to think along with their spines years ago

        • 400
          revolting peasant says:

          what’s a party shill?

          • Anonymous says:

            1 : to act as a shill 2 : to act as a spokesperson or promoter

          • nell says:

            Try being more precise. Because most of us are not members of any party – Yes I acknowledge that I am going to vote for cameron this time.

            But I don’t belong to a party.

            If gordon had behaved more respectably. ie not been found out in using such obscene language and being inexcusably abusive to his own staff.

            If he hadn’t printed so much monopoly money and instead had reined in government spending.

            If he had not put aintbustinagut in charge of the MoD ( which I thought was a huge insult to our troops fighting in Afghanistan)

            If he hadn’t made it quite clear that he was stabbing darling in the back in favour of balls.

            If he hadn’t relied upon foul people like whelan, damian and balls to protect him from the real public.

            If he did not use sarah and mandy like two surgical walking sticks- one either side of him to hold his hand every time he ventures out of the front door of 10 drowning street.

            Then, just then, I might have thought he was a credible option for PM next time around!

          • nell the hypocrite says:

          • Cecil B De Man says:

            Give nell her due! She plays that little Miss Innocent card well.

      • 416
        marxists are slime says:

        The liebore trolls; they are like rats clinging onto driftwood, drifting in a sea of shit, into which they will soon sink once they have been wiped out in the general election.

        • 425
          Tories are filth says:

          The Conservative trolls; they are like rats clinging onto driftwood, or Dave as he’s known, drifting in a sea of shit, off Belize, into which they will soon sink once they have been wiped out in the general election.

          • labour scumbags says:

            As opposed to gordon snottgobbler, the man who sold our gold at rock bottom prices, robbed our pensions, employed almost a million extra public servants, and has presided over the worst slump since the war. The man is hopeless, useless, and is going down the poo pipe fast. Bye labour! Nice knowing you (not)

          • Phillip Side says:

            Who needs Labour or Conservative when you have the strength of the EU watching over the nations welfare?

    • 465
      Zed says:

      Yes – on this site in droves.
      We can smell the fear.
      Last kicks of those with no future.

      • 470
        Another happy New Labour supporter says:

        Been celebrating on cheap cider Zed?

        • 478
          Zed says:

          Nope, but have he champers on ice for the 6th.
          What about you ?????

          • Another happy New Labour supporter says:

            13 years of hard partying with another 5 years “hair of the dog” livener to look forward to is a tough life, but someone’s got to do it. Better us than those tory filth!

          • Zed says:

            That,s the attitude.
            Enjoy the party.
            All welcome to our celebrations.

  95. 375
    QWERTY says:

    Can someone explain what is going on with James Caan on Newsnight? He’s slagging the Tories off yet here he’s bigging them up?

    “…Caan believes that the Conservative Party has a stronger focus on business and will also be more successful in reassuring the financial markets. ..”

    …it easier for SME’s to operate, and are willing to actually cut taxes here. Their plan to keep NI at its current level will protect jobs in the private sector, and it will act as an incentive for business.” he said.


  96. 377
    arthur says:

    tories just blown apart on newsnight

  97. 386
    arthur says:

    newsnight bombshell

  98. 388
    bird wsb says:

    O/T Outrageous bias on Newsnight, with BOTH interviewees slagging off Conservative NI policy and no effort whatsoever to provide any balance. Where do I complain?

  99. 393
    nells living will says:

    Boring, repeat posts like this are just background mumbling.

  100. 394
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘Only political junkies love the drama of the late night count.’

    Oh Guido – you’d have to get a proper job if it wasn’t for us political junkies. Don’t spoil what little fun we’ve got left. (Apart from beer, fags and sex of course).

  101. 397
    Jan says:

    I thought Newsnight was supposed to be balanced now that the GE has been
    called.Liam Byrne on plus some bloke who was on the Dragon’s Den,both of whom are questioning the Tories figures on NI and taxation and saying that the figures are rubbish.The bloke from the DD saying that many of the bosses of the FTSE 100 who are backing the Tories NI figures have workers who would not be affected as they earn less than £20,000 a year. Why weren’t the Tories allowed a defence??Errr because Al-Jabeeba are still as biased as ever. Paxo now having a go at Andrew Lansley about the NHS,he really is a piece of crap.

    • 406
      Tears for Piers says:

      Newsnight has never been balanced. What kind of current affairs programme would have a discussion between a govt. minister and someone who agrees with him, and no dissenting voice? Even Paxman looked embarrassed. Time to stop paying the licence fee which has become a political levy for the Labour Party.

    • 407
      arthur says:

      newsnight stitched up

    • 421
      universal hiss says:

      I kept looking behind the telly for some balance. Just dust. I’m really glad I stopped paying the telly tax last week.

      • 433
        Sack BBC Marxists says:

        The BBC is pathetic….they are institutionaly leftist. Time for a cull!

        • 441
          Dave Blairs shower of useless wankers says:

          Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !

          you’re shit and you know you are
          you’re shit and you know you are
          you’re shit and you know you are
          you’re shit and you know you are

    • 463
      Anonymous says:

      Who was it, that dense Scots git who is Brown’s pal ?
      Before he is allowed to vote, he ought to be able to read and write.
      Oh, that’s the typical Labour voter, right ?

  102. 399
    Noo_Lie_Bore - rotten to the core says:


  103. 412
    Moley says:

    Its down to about twenty eight now.

    Western Isles and Scilly Isles,(St Ives) are fair enough, but councillors in the remaining areas may be wary of attracting the ire of the electorate for delaying counts.

    Hopefully they will all fall into line; which will increase confidence in the reliability of the outcome.

  104. 424
    arthur says:

    ft 40,000 jobs to go

  105. 427
    Rob says:

    Wow. Deleting the comments of people who disagree with you. What a good little Tory you are!

  106. 429

    Nell if your still up this song is very fitting for all our lads in Afghanistan
    the yanks have supplied the pictures !

    • 434


      • 467
        nell says:

        You made me cry.

        I walked the WW1 and WW2 battlefields in France ansd Belgium not so long ago tracing the route some of my army family took, dying and disappearing only to reappear as names on memorials.

        I have been so horrified at how badly, disgracefully, gordon and this liebour government have ill-treated our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

        We really must never ever forgive labour for the way they let gordon cynically and uncaringly underfund and fail to provide proper kit to troops labour were sending to war.

        And then, labour apparatchiks watched, uncomplaining, knowing that gordon was sending troops out ill-equipped deliberately to politically embarrass and spite bliar and that he then stood back and watched all those troops die who might have lived if only they had had proper body armour, helicopters, armoured land-rovers, ridgebacks, IED protection etc.!!!!

        • 473
          arthur says:

          tit….. don’t use the lads for your political ends. shame on you

          • arthur says:

            i was in the forces so is my son still. if the generals thought the governments (tory in my case) thought the troops were at risk they should have resigned


            No politics here, nothing to see move along now

          • OLIVE says:


          • arthur says:

            olive, words fail me

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            i didn’t mention politics i just posted a very good video as a tribute to the lads out there
            Nell always shows concern for the troops
            and is a very strong critic of the appalling way they have been treated by Brown and Blair
            It is not political it is personal that is my,and i’m sure Nell’s opinion
            which we are entitled to as are you yours !

          • nell says:

            I think what you meant to say was ARSSE


          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            Your up late tonight Nell what did you think of the vid/song ?
            if you see this twice
            i have just posted this in the wrong place

          • arthur says:

            nell you are a typical camp follower

          • WMD says:

            > Nell always shows concern for the troops

            What you’ve done there is to confuse wafer thin pious exploitation of dead troops with genuine concern

            nell loves the troops so much she’ll happily send them into the slaughterhouse for another 5 years
            she’s a warmonger and won’t give a fuck about them after May 6th
            Her crocodile tears are as transparent as her complete lack of objectivity
            Bliar is a warcriminal with his helper Brown and Cameron is making the same stupid mistake as he did in backing Iraq

            But nell don’t care because she LOVES Dave far more than the troops.

      • 485

        your up late tonight Nell what did you think of the song/vid ?

  107. 435
    Cross Party Consensus says:

    It’s a good thing for the country that we’ve managed to put the issues of expenses behind us and are now concentrating on the old Punch and Judy politics we love.

  108. 437
    Anti Christ says:

    Malcolm McLaren RIP. The Sex Pistols, surreal and very funny.

  109. 449
    Trev says:

    You are talking drunken toss. Cannot you think of anything better. Its quite likely we can guess the results of the 30 who don’t count.

    Likewise your previous post — ‘tory evasivness on vat’ ??

    In the Chancellors debate both Darling and Cable refused to rule out VAT increases. Now – confronted with political meltdown – they change their mind.

    Are you effing totally pissed? Well Mr F? Well? You are certainly blogging like it.

    Its bad enough Brown treating me like I am thick – don’t You start.

  110. 452
    Billy Bragg's Big House in Dorset says:


    Hey Guido, may I remind you ….

    After you discarded McBride for his impertinence and swagge, you catergorically stated that your next target was his cohort, Brown.

    So … time to post his drop-jaw grin with the crosshairs upon it ?

    Quckly now , before he’s gone for EVER !

  111. 454
    Billy Bragg's Big House in Dorset says:


    Hey Guido, may I remind you ….

    After you discarded McBride for his impertinence and swagger, you catergorically stated that your next target was his cohort, Brown.

    So … time to post his drop-jaw grin with the crosshairs upon it ?

    Quckly now , before he’s gone for EVER !

  112. 459
    QWERTY says:

    Can someone explain what is going on with James Caan on Newsnight? He’s slagging the Tories off yet here he’s bigging them up?

    “…Caan believes that the Conservative Party has a stronger focus on business and will also be more successful in reassuring the financial markets. ..”

    …it easier for SME’s to operate, and are willing to actually cut taxes here. Their plan to keep NI at its current level will protect jobs in the private sector, and it will act as an incentive for business.” he said.


  113. 460
    Reichschancellor ( in-waiting, and waiting and waiting ) Balls says:



  114. 464
    Anonymous says:

    Did anyone else see what Bartleby said about Michael Caine? Idiot!

  115. 472
    OneminusZero says:

    Who gives fuck about the next election – the LAST CHANCE to give those self-serving fuckers a kick up he arse.

    GUIDO – You daft bastard. What we need is a www. fuckurmp.com, Instructions for tactical voting by constituency to return a hung Parliament. Why don’t you get it?


  116. 475
    tat's independant army says:

    The list of Tory trolls.
    1 Engineer
    2 nell
    3 jgm2
    4 Dr Mick
    5 Frank Field
    Feel free to out more trolls.

    • 490
      jgm2 says:

      You’re not tat. He could spell independent. But thanks for the name-check jackass.

      • 518
        caught says:

        how could you be so certain it isn’t tat ?
        you think tat never made a misspelling or a typo ?
        very interesting…

  117. 486
    The Proclaimers says:

    “If you go, will you send back a letter from oblivion
    Take a look down the railtrack from Miami to Ca-na-da”

    Bercow .. no more
    Balls .. no more
    Murphy .. no more
    Brown .. no more

    Deceit .. no more
    Corruption .. no more
    Incompetence .. no more
    Labour .. no more

    • 494
      jgm2 says:

      Was it not ‘From Miami to Caledon’ [-ia - in other word - fucking Scotland]‘

  118. 489

    There is a scam currently circulating the internet that is primarily targetting political bloggers. It purports to be from a victim of John Prescott’s and it claims that the ex-Cabinet minister regularly parks his Jaguars and various other vehicles in the victim’s driveway.

  119. 495
    Sunny Jim says:

    Tsk, the backroom boys are pretending to throw punches at one another, what a limp and awful looking scene. Wipe the sweat from each other’s short and curlies and let’s get cracking with some decent debate you ill-timed introductions to the world of abortion.

    • 515
      Runny Qim says:

      Tsk, Bald men fighting over a comb.

      Let’s debate the pathetic minute difference between NuLabour/BluLabour and ignore the obvious fact that they are corrupt troughing thieves covered in shit.

  120. 496
    Sunny Jim says:

    Tsk, the backroom boys are pretending to throw punches at one another, what a limp and awful looking scene. Wipe the sweat from each other’s short and curlies and let’s get cracking with some decent debate you ill-timed introductions to the world of abortion.

  121. 498
    bird wsb says:

    Only people who are interested in politics read this blog.

    Undecided voters are not interested in politics otherwise they’d have an opinion by now.

    If there are no ‘undecideds’ reading the blog the Liebor trolls are wasting their time so let’s encourage them to stay.

    At least that will mean that they’re not doing unspeakable things elsewhere…

  122. 520
    Oi! labour trolls do your homework on the evils of socialism says:

    Liberals do not TRULY care about freedom or the individual. They love socialism, communism, leninism, Marxism and every other “ism” as long as it involves a government takeover of everything.

    They seem to think that it will work this time, although it has been implemented many times and always results in the misery and poverty being evenly distributed plus, of course, the circa 100 million people murdered by various socialist governments during the past 90 years or so.

    Gordon Brown and his demented ministers should just move to socialist nations – I am sure that Cuba, N. Korea and China would love to have them.

  123. 527
    D L George says:

    Here’s weird.

    Most of us saw News Night last night with James Caan (Dragons Den) claiming the Tory’s NI freeze was a bad idea.

    Here’s a quote from the Scotland Herald from the very same chap…

    Tory leader got another boost when millionaire entrepreneur James Caan of TV’s Dragon’s Den came out in favour of his economic approach, saying the Government’s NI rises would cost “thousands of jobs” while the Conservative policy would “protect jobs in the private sector and act as an incentive for business”.


    If the quote’s correct did someone have a word in His ‘shell like’ before appearing on Newsnight?

  124. 528
    John Bercalf says:

    Compared to what, the Tory shills donating their shrill shilling for ‘The Boy’ George?

  125. 537
    Sarah Brown Trousers Time says:

    Alan B’stard and Derek C’unt – The Reunion Tour.

  126. 539
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Counting, whenever it happens, may well be wasted time. The important ones could all be foregone conclusions anyway.

    In Liebour heartlands like Strawman’s constituency the rigging is built in:


  127. 542

    THE Tories flew William Hague around Scotland in a helicopter yesterday as they flaunted their massive general election war chest.

    But Labour mocked the former leader and his party’s plans to slash public services, by dubbing him “Chopper Hague”.

    And MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK can reveal the real story behind Tory boasts to have raised all the money for their Scots campaign north of the Border.

    We have learned that Tory efforts to take the marginal Angus seat from the SNP are being financed by a super-rich merchant banker who works 400 miles away in the City of London and was born in Switzerland.

    Electoral Commission records reveal that the local Angus Tory party received £10,000 from a City company called Flowidea Ltd.

    And Flowidea are controlled by multi-millionaire Henry Angest, one of the party’s biggest UK donors and a former Tory treasurer.

    Angus MP Mike Weir of the SNP, who is defending a majority of 1601, said of the Angest cash: “This raises serious questions as to who is funding the Tory campaign in Scotland.

    “Their claim to have raised all money in Scotland is shown to be utterly false.”

    The Scots Tories have bragged: “All the money we spend was raised in Scotland. We don’t get money from down south.”

    But last night, a spokesman was forced to admit: “We are not saying all the donors are in Scotland but they donated to the party in Scotland.”

    Along with notorious “non-dom” tycoon Lord Ashcroft, Angest is among the rich donors who have helped give the Tories a £10million lead over Labour in campaign cash.

    David Cameron has £18million to spend on wooing the voters, compared with Gordon Brown’s £8million.

    The Angus party accepted Flowidea’s cash in December 2008, shortly after they selected former City lawyer Alberto Costa as their candidate.

    Flowidea donated £264,289 to the Conservative Party in 2007andanother £40,500 in 2008.

    The company have also handed tens of thousands of pounds to rightwing think-tanks and campaign groups. The Taxpayers’ Alliance and Migration Watch both got cash.

    • 549
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Jolly good show.

      Its private cash for a public good, entirely unlike McSnotty’s Liebour squandering squillions in public cash on saving dodgy, scummy Scottish banksters.

    • 550

      The gay nazi Tat srikes again
      but never mind im going to his school next week to have a word with his teacher
      then im going to see your mum you know what she’s said about trying to talk to men on the internet looks like it’s another week locked in the Dark Cupboard for you my lad !

      • 558
        Anon says:

        That’s not TaT either, Frank.
        Seriously, get back on your meds, you really are losing the plot.

  128. 543
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    Let’s take a more pragmatic approach to politics……Obviously Afghanistan is a big issue,so let’s send all members of the House of Commons to the front line(a 12 month tour should suffice) for first hand experience. I am sure the survivors will have a much better grasp of the problem then.

    Fox hunting is such an emotive issue. Let’s embrace the third way and allow hunting. Again members of both houses would be suitable substitutes for the foxes. I would not have a problem in giving them ten seconds head start.

    Survivors would be much fitter for it……

  129. 544
    Martin Day says:

    General Election 2010: David Cameron – what Eton taught me about Guido Fawkes political blog

    David Cameron has cited his experiences at Eton as he announced proposals that would involve all 16-year-olds completing a period of “national citizen blogging on the politcal blog site,Order Order”

  130. 545
    Piss Artistes Against David Cameron's Conservatives says:

    I had an emptiness deep inside – so I came here for inspiration.

  131. 546
    Gordon Brown's Press Officer says:

    Hi, Guido Fawkes.
    The Labour Party (UKLabour) is now following your tweets on Twitter.

    A little information about The Labour Party:

    We will win the 2010 General Election

  132. 561
    Peter says:

    Returning to the subject.
    Please keep overnight counts.
    Got to have some fun in life!

  133. 565
    Anonymous says:

    “Guido thinks that overnight counting is an anachronistic waste of people’s time and the civilised, sensible thing to do would be to count the votes the next day when everyone has had a good sleep.”

    eh? what rubbish. People can work at night. What about night-shift workers? Are you saying that you can’t drive a lorry at night because it’s dark/late? Bollocks; you sleep during the day and work during the night.

    Do you really want thousands of boxes of votes just lying in empty sheds all over the country overnight? How fucking open to vote fraud would that be?

    I normally agree with most things you say, Guido, but your view on this is complete shite, especially given that labour have a proven track record of electoral fraud.

Seen Elsewhere

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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