April 7th, 2010

The Shortest Tax in History

Yesterday the Cider Party was launched with the intention of fighting seats in the south-west on the issue of the cider tax hike. “”I thought we ought to start a political movement. The Americans have got the Tea Party movement so I thought, well, perhaps a cider party,” it’s leader said. Well late last night the tax was dropped. The quickest concession anyone has ever got out of this government.


  1. 1

    We’re all thanking the Wurzels together!

  2. 2

    I don’t like cider, it makes me fall over alot.

    • 6
      Gordon Brown says:

      You are not drinking enough of it then. If you drink more of it, you soon get passed that annoying falling over a lot stage and stay in a lying down stage.

    • 12
      Let him who has never picked his nose flick the first bogie says:

      and the hangover is the mother of all

      • 29
        Groucho says:

        Only surpassed by ‘snakebite’, another cider based refreshment

        • 38
          Engineer says:

          Scrumpy has it’s moments. Especially the cloudy sort with lumps floating in it. Puts hairs on your chest, that does.

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            and sore’s on yer arse !

          • jgm2 says:

            Puts chunks in the toilet more like. At speed. Provided you can get there in time. Managed a pint of that once – literally a single pint – before the room started spinning and I was hurling chunks in the toilet.

            Brutal stuff.

          • Rip Tear says:

            I was told by a Gloucester cider drinker that the best brew they ever had turned out to have the skeleton of the pubs Alsatian in the barrel.

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK says:

            pebledashed the bowl

            hit every part of the toilet but the water !

            i’ll just go for a squirt and i think i’ll have a piss while i’m there !

        • 42
          jgm2 says:

          Fucking hell. That’ll get you well fucked up in double quick time and at rock bottom price.

        • 159
          shit spotter says:

          I ate a hot curry once and was puzzeled by a slurping noise as I sat on the toilet. Then I realised it was my aresehole going down for a drink of water

    • 62
      Unsworth says:

      The late, great, WC Fields:

      “I only drink to steady myself”

      “Sometimes I get so steady, I can’t move”


      “From the roof of the train one gets a fine view of California”

      A man after my own heart.

    • 83
      P. Doff says:

      I once joined yokels – sorry, locals – in a bar in Malmesbury, Wiltshire, by putting a large gin in the rough cider to water it down… cheap at the price too as you only needed a pint to lay you down for the night!

      • 92

        my brother was once taken to a pubin gloucester which had dozens of hand pulled ciders on the bar
        anyone know where it is or has it gone ?

        • 144
          Number 7 says:

          That sounds like The County Arms (now long gone).

          The air freshener was a dead pig hanging from one of the beams.

        • 195
          Eva Precious Brick of Love says:

          that sounds like the Scrumpet and Squit down near what is now the renovated dockbasin…many a night I fell out of there wi me old dad pissed as parrots completely and utterly fucked up for days but in those days no-one in the family worked…just the jam roll…so nobody cared….happy days…but the pub got closed by the drugs squad and immigration people as they were growing illegals in the basement. Do you remember the stuffed animals on the small bar wall ?

    • 224
      Guido's little wannabees says:

      if only they knew how funny they were

    • 274
      Anonymous says:

      A few pints of “mixed” in the Coronation Tap. Ah, yes. Thonk.

  3. 3
    Engineer says:

    The first concession yokels have had from this government in 13 years. Is there an election on or something?

    • 7
      Gordon Brown says:

      Oh I forgot to mention we’re putting 10p on a pound of apples though.

      • 16
        Let him who has never picked his nose flick the first bogie says:

        The south west will be severely punished if Gordon gets back in.

        • 34
          fruitcake says:

          Big “if”, it’s bad enough we have Ben Bradshaw in Exeter as it is…something wrong with Exeter.

          • troglodyte says:

            Sadly yes. It used to be a fine city.
            Then the same sort of people who live in Islington etc discovered it and the result is Ben Bradshaw.

          • So we lost voting reform but got back cheap cider we lost a week ago.

            I love democracy. YE GODS

          • Norfolk Turkey says:

            It’s okay, Mandelson’s just promised a referendum on the matter of electoral reform.

          • English Liberation Front says:

            Ben Bradshaw is the most revolting creature in Westminster after Cyclops himself. Let’s fervently hope the voters of Exeter do the decent thing and give BB the bird.

          • Steve Expat says:

            What happened to the last referendum we were promised by Labour?

            Don’t believe a word the lying fuckers tell you…

          • GenghizCant says:

            Bradshaw invokes a feeling of vomit rising.

          • Cast Iron Cameron says:

            “Today, I will give this cast-iron guarantee: if I become PM a Conservative government will hold a referendum on any EU treaty that emerges from these negotiations.”

          • Steve Expat says:

            Cameron wasn’t the PM at the time – Brown was.

            Labour’s manifesto asid there would be a referendum on the EU Constitution, but everyone agreed to call it something else to avoid the public of several countries having their say on the matter.

            If Cameron had have been the PM, I’m sure that the referendum would have happened, else he would also have been a liar.

          • Cast Iron Cameron's apologist minions says:

            if I become PM a Conservative government will hold a referendum on any EU treaty that emerges from these negotiations.”

  4. 4
    Gordon Brown says:

    With a promise to raise it again if labour are returned to power.

    • 35
      nell says:

      Not a hope in hell there . I see gordon is busy promoting his case by continuing to attack the business leaders over their support of the tories NI policy.

      Predictable result – more business leaders are coming out in support of the tories.

      I think gordon has exactly the right strategy and I hope he keeps banging about it!!

    • 187
      Wurzel Gummidge says:

      Why would you say that? Not a smart move to give something and then say vote for me and I will take it back. Stooooopid

  5. 5
    Terrible But True says:

    Maybe in finding votes the Government was a bit pressed?

  6. 8
    Let him who has never picked his nose flick the first bogie says:

    That was quick.

  7. 9
    Dan says:

    Sorry slightly off topic

    Apparently Gordo was an a smoothie bar this mornings stood under a sign saying ‘You cant pollish a turd but you can cover it with glitter’ Shurely someone can get the picture out there? Please

  8. 10
    Martin Day says:

    Day one of Campaign 2010 was caught in 14 short minutes by TV cameras.

    At 10.34am, David Cameron bounced out of a greasy spoon cafe to launch his campaign. He was on the fashionable South Bank of the Thames with young activists and his wife. Not one shadow cabinet member was there.

    At 10.48am, a determined-looking Gordon Brown left Number 10 with the sober-suited Cabinet, Peter Mandelson and Alistair Darling at his shoulder.

    News helicopters were over Downing Street as a noticeably grey Brown made a serious speech warning of economic collapse under the Tories. He did not smile, but a steel glint was in his eye.

    And the contrast between Labour and the Tories was clear to all watching.

    • 19
      Martin Day says:

      Oh BTW – Did I mention I’m on the sex offenders register!

    • 39
      TOO FARR says:

      Stupid boy(?). Brown can’t do anything without his bunch of incompetents holding his hand, esp. Manglebum. At least Cameron seemed to be a little convincing and also without a script.
      Miss martin gay should take his/her rose coloured classes off!!
      SAD TWATT!

    • 106
      The big D says:

      Having watched Gordon’s announcement outside number 10 yesterday and seen the Apache gun sight video on Wikileaks, it shows how easy a resolution of the UK troubles could have been.

    • 118
      AC1 says:

      Was there a steel glint in the false one or the real (but failing) one?
      BTW what colour is the sky in your world?

    • 135
      Rip Van Winkle says:

      Economic collapse under the Toreis? What the fuck do you think has happened under this fucking clown?

    • 148
      Martin Day says:

      Steely-eyed Gordon, in his first speech only moments into his brilliant campaign, said he would “renew the contract between the people and those whom they are sworn to serve.”

      Gordon is there, right at the start, shooting himself in the foot. No dilly-dallying with Gordon!

      Gordon is decisive. Go for it, Gordon!

      • 260
        Sir Everard Digby says:

        Gordon is to decisiveness what you are to intelligent comment.i.e only detectable by their absence.

  9. 11
    Let him who has never picked his nose flick the first bogie says:

    They shit themselves that this would split the South West vote. People are fed up with governments full stop and they are likely to show that contempt by voting for even the raving loony party. So now we know how to scare then into doing our bidding,time is short though

  10. 13
    Gordon C*nt says:

    When oi drink cider
    Moi arse gets wider

  11. 14
    A letter to the BBC says:

    “Why is Lord Mandleson allowed to give a broadcast statement on the Labour party on the 10am news on BBC2 today with out the Conservatives or Liberals having the same opportunity? Your bias is shameful and will only backfire.”

    And I was brought up on cider and it did me no harm……. hic.

  12. 15

    How much did it cost to come up with
    and how much revenue did we make from it ?

    this will inspire a whole generation of “nair do nouts” to get off their lazy lardie arses and vote labour

    • 23
      Let him who has never picked his nose flick the first bogie says:

      have you been marinated in the cider Frankie as I don’t know what your going on about.

      • 115

        how much did the cider tax law cost to dream up ?
        how much money did HMRC collect from the new tax ?
        and a whole generation of lazy scum sucking dossers will be celibrating that their daily intake of cheap piss !
        will not cost them a larger amount of their hard earned benifits !
        and to thank labour for this they will get off their arses and vote to keep them in

  13. 17
    John Cipher says:

    When Balls and Straw lose their seats, Lidl should see an upturn in its 9% own brand white cider sales.

  14. 18
    McMafia says:

    Strange that Brown and Darling didn’t put a tax on porridge,haggis,Mars bars,Irn Bru,and transvestitism.

    • 28
      jgm2 says:

      Aye. And every year, regular as clockwork he used to get up and fuck the brewing industry in the UK with 2p a pint or 5p a pint on be*r and then give his avuncular little joke and pass up increasing tax on wh*sky. Gotta keep your loyal voters and their employees on-side eh?

      • 66
        Aye says:

        The export of whisky provides a major source of revenue for the Scottish economy, overseas sales amounting to a staggering £2.5 billion per year. The top export market is the United States, whose citizens spend £400 million on Scotch whisky annually, with France, Spain, South Korea and Venezuela making up the rest of the top five. In total, the whisky industry is worth £3 billion per year to the Scottish economy, and provides almost 41,000 jobs in Scotland.

        • 98
          McMafia says:

          I’d guess that England is the biggest market.

        • 158
          Aye aye says:

          A white horse trotted into a bar and the barman said “I’ve got a drink named after you !”

          The horse said ” Cool give me an Eric and coke then please”

        • 201
          Scotland belongs to the English says:

          Did we win Culloden?

        • 217
          Thrusterbuster says:

          well cut the ropes and let them float off towards fucking iceland and live off that then…or preferably sink the entire dump and save us the trouble of letting them loose

    • 49
      John Cipher says:

      …and machines that predict how long you’ve got before cancer kills you. They don’t tax these because it would offend that Jabba The Hutt lookalike who runs the SNP.

      • 111
        Destroy the cancer of government says:

        BTW folks, I read that PIPE smokers live longer than non-smokers.
        So why did they tax pipe tobacco? The anti-smoking brigade are a bunch of stinking liars. Pipe smoking is good for you and everybody should do it because it’s healthy. In fact, make it compulsory.

        • 122
          John Cipher says:

          Libyan terrorists live the longest.

        • 124
          jgm2 says:

          I doubt that is true – that pipe-smokers live longer than non-smokers. But show me the research.

          • Anonymous says:

            The research JGM2 is carried out by the same mob that do the climate change research.
            Nuf said.

          • Colonel Mad says:

            Tobacco is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity.Adolf Hitler and Gordon Brown’s hell-dwelling father were both anti-smoking fanatics.Gordon Brown is following in the footsteps of his two great heroes.

        • 284
          Batty Hattie Harmanescu says:

          Pipe smoking good for you? Best ask Peter Tinniswood (Author of Uncle Mort) about that. Oh! sorry I forgot he’s dead. Killed by his pipe smoking habit.

          When I am chancellor, anyone wishing to smoke will have to buy a licence, and that licence won’t come cheap. Those who persist in smoking without a licence will be turned into organ donors.

          A future fair for all.

  15. 20
    Big Ben says:

    Just a word to Guido and his Westminster village readers – this is the kind of thing that normal people on the street get. Meanwhile a lot of the Twitter driven ephemera will be ignored – everyone is totally cynical about political parties already, so they don’t need confirmation of various campaigning machinations – anyone watching pictures of Gordon at St Pancras yesterday knew these eager young people chasing after him were Labour party campaigners.

    But most normal people don’t have the inclination or time to spend their all their days watching the output of BBC News 24 or Sky News and watching all these dumb election stunts. Real life continues, the election is just a sideshow…

  16. 22
    Mitch says:

    Taking all that money out of the economy could seriously harm the recovery. Says the jockanese fukwit.

    • 36
      jgm2 says:

      Pure ‘Alice in Wonderland’ economics from the Maximum Imbecile.

      His entire economic and political record reads like an Edward Lear poem.

  17. 24
    Man With A Very Hot Bladder says:

    Mmmm – scrumpylicious!

  18. 25
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    A previous comment on another topic outlined that “The Digital Economy Bill” was rushed through the commons. Mandelson hands all over this one no doubt a nice little earner for Mandy.

  19. 26
    The Sleeper says:

    Fucking hell…Clegg on Trident.

    An alternative is to ‘retain the option to build nuclear weapons should you need them..i.e. build them as you need them’.

    Great…Al Quaeda nuke us,and we then start to build a retaliatory ICBM for launch in six months time.

    Away with the fucking fairies these guys.

    btw..I’m against renewal,but believe in maintaining a deterrent.

    • 33
      Naught says:

      Bring the boys home,nuke Afghanistan, it’s all rocks anyway. Job done.

      • 67
        JIT Nuke supplier says:

        It can be done, we just buy ‘em from Bikerack Obhamama using DHL.

        • 87
          The Sleeper says:

          You mean e-bay?

          • watches too much shit TV says:

            “Al Quaeda nuke us”

            Would that be a first strike from Al-Qaedaland ?


          • The Sleeper says:

            Had your morning baby milk yet,sonny?

            Try harder next time.

          • The Shiteater Sleeper says:

            Had your first steaming crap coiled into your mouth by Cashcroft as payment for your fuckwitted trolling little toryboy weed ?

            You’re shit and you know you are. Try as hard as you like because you’re not going to get any less stupid or better at trolling twatboy.

          • The Sleeper says:

            Like I said..try harder next time.

          • The Sleeper says:

            Hi TaT….got to do better than that,Old Boy.

          • The Sleeper formerly known as thick as thieves says:


          • Anon says:

            Oh dear, the trolls really are toiling today.
            TaT was always anti labour and the Tory trolls who keep changing his posts really are making fools of themselves.

      • 74
        Unsworth says:

        Yep, Afghanistan ought to be turned into glass.

        • 138
          jgm2 says:

          Naaaah. Start with Saudi. Plus it would make it a lot easier to find the oil. Just wander around looking through the glass for the big pools of black stuff.

          It would completely revolutionise seismic.

          • Dubya's back and even more stupid than we remember him says:

            Hello Dubya
            Hows things as a retard ?

          • jgm2 says:

            Suck – don’t blow.

          • Dubya's Braindamaged Parrot says:

            SQUUUAAWWWWK!! (ruffle) suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow (ting) blow don’t suck, blow don’t suck, blow don’t suck, blow don’t suck, blow don’t suck, (peck,peck) AAAWWWWWWRRRRK!!!!! suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, suck don’t blow, (flap) SQUUUAAAAAAAWWWWKKK!!!!

          • jgm2 says:

            Mmmmmm. Nice. Faster……..slower…….faster….

          • When's the election fuckwit ? says:

            wanking off to pictures of Dubya again jgm2
            naughty, naughty

          • Mr Slater's Pattot says:

            TWAT!!! (cuttle)

    • 41

      we have 45 min’s to design,build test and commission a nuke
      we can do it we’re BRITISH !

      • 91
        Steve Expat says:

        We did it pretty well in the 1940s, doubt we could today.

        Not enough engineers as we outsourced all thir jobs, and far too much ‘elf n safety shit to wade through – did a Spitfire pilot have to fill in a risk assessment form?

        • 100
          The Sleeper says:

          “Sorry Group Captain, you can’t fly that Spifire because there is a risk you might be shot down”


        • 275
          Anonymous says:

          Sadly, yes. I worked with some of the 2nd. generation of these guys. The ones that came through working for the blokes whose names are in the history books, A lot of even that 2 nd. gen were something special. No chance we would have anything like the numbers of the right quality now.

      • 231
        Fred & Harry in their shed says:

        Too right

    • 130
      Gordon Brown says:

      It takes approximately 4 years to design and build a nuclear sub from scratch. It is cheaper in the long term to build a batch of them, so that the various cycles of deployment, refitting, servicing etc allow one to be on patrol at all times.

      When North Korea have nukes and many people believe that Iran will be developing their own nukes, what kind of insanity suggests that we should consider for one second getting rid of ours?

      Build them as you need them? What kind of new level of fuckmuppetry is this?

      • 134
        AC1 says:

        Perhaps he’s been playing Command & Conquer on his x-box a bit too much?

      • 151

        The ASRAAM missile which is the new missile for the euro fighter took from 1980 untill the first one was delivered to the RAF in 1998 that is how long it takes todesign and build a small one

      • 181
        he likes big explosions says:

        our nukes certainly stopped Saddam didn’t they?

        • 206
          Baboon's arse says:

          Did a great job preventing 9-11 too.

          • Von Brown says:

            shh .you\ll have the site invaded by loons

          • CALL ME A FUCKWITT says:

            if you want to threaten someone with a gun ,you show it to them
            if you want to threaten someone with a knife,you wave it at them
            if you want to threaten someone with a nuke,you hide it underground where no one can see it !
            whats all that about then ?

    • 190
      The PM shouldn't be disturbed but this cunt is says:

      Alky Ada, nuke us?

      Dumb fuck

      • 216
        The Sleeper says:

        Calm down,arsehole…it’s only an expression.

        • 248
          thick as Sleeper says:

          Where’s the blog Tat?

          • Anon says:

            You seem to suffer from amnesia as well as retardation.
            Remember? You visited his site but were summarily banned for being a retard.
            There, glad to set that one straight.
            Maybe you should visit your GP regarding your alzheimers issue.
            You may go now.

      • 242
        Von Brown says:

        alky ada could use radio active shit with a standard bomb, a bit like we do now with depleted

  20. 27
    All Right my Lovely says:

    I’ve got a brand new combine harvester.

    Bought with help from the Governments ‘Enterprise Finance Guarantee’ scheme.
    That nice Mr Brown helping us with his own money.

  21. 31

    As i sit here in my shop door way in a puddle of my own piss i am much releaved that Mr darling has seen sense and dropped this awfull tax
    it made things very hard for me
    trying to explain to people why i was asking for 55p for a cup of tea instead of the usual 50p

  22. 32
    They're all sneering, smug, celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Laura Kuenssberg, whom I need to bum says:

    Celt Labour supporting has-been Campbell, has just finished another anti Tory phone in on his shyte show.

    The filth at the BBC are getting desperate as the polls refuse to close up to ensure a glorious victory for England’s Scotch socialist overlords.

  23. 45
    Jeremy Paxman says:

    More questions which need answering immediately.

    Does Gordon Brown wear a girdle ?

    If he does: what size is it ?
    And does he share a girdle drawer with Sarah ?

    Has Gordon got man boobs like Tony Blair?

  24. 45
    AntiBeeb Brigade says:

    I have just bought myself one of those junior hacksaws. Later I will sneak up Winterhill in my white combats and saw the transmitter down.

  25. 52
    Stuff the Guiness, give me a pint of White Lightening says:

    If they can achieve such change in one day what could they do in five years.
    Cider party for me.

  26. 57
    Rip Tear says:

    Great Guido puts a beverage yarn on then mods us to fuck for mentioning anything to do with al*chy

  27. 58

    I saw a programme once that said “Thatchers drink a gallon of cider a day”
    it looked to me like Dennis was a two gallon a day man
    Carol was so pissed she kept seeing golliwogs
    and Mark was so shit faced that he got lost in the desert and then tried to over throw a fucking government
    and then Mrs T ? Nuff said !

    • 162
      Not Getting It says:

      Used to drink a LOT of Cider back in the days of Thatcher… Her government seemed very good…. I wonder if there is a connection?

    • 273
      stilyagi_air_corps says:

      Ahh, Thatcher’s cider… looks like flat, radioactive irn-bru, tastes way too sharp for the first third of the first pint, then it turns to nectar for the rest of the night / weekend / holiday.

  28. 60
    nell says:

    It does seem watching from a distance that gordon’s people are afraid to let him stand alone. sarah hasn’t left his side – arm protectively around his back, staring glassy eyed into his eyes as though she’s willing him on.

    I bet she’s in the gallery today as his does his last, absolute very last, PMQ’s,surrounded by his kremlin cabinet , each wondering how they are going to unglue his badly bitten fingernails from the reins of leadership after labour have crashed and burned on May 6th.

    • 68
      nell mcbride says:

      is that before or after you’ve smeared them using their dead child and disabled child ?

      • 72
        jgm2 says:

        What? Has Brown been shoe-horning that into an interview for sympathy votes again?

        • 95
          oops! says:

          “A faltering David Cameron yesterday said he regretted not taking more time off to recover from the death last year of his six-year-old disabled son. His candid comments came in a television interview strikingly similar in tone and style to Gordon Brown’s tearful appearance on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, to be broadcast tonight.”

          • The Sleeper says:

            Fuck off.

            What’s with the username?…your fathers’ cry when he accidentally impregnated the goat he was fucking;that resulted in you?

          • The Creeper says:

            fuck off yourself you piss-swallowing piece of dogshit

          • the creeper crapped says:

            Fuck off creep.

          • The Crapeater Sleeper says:

            No. Fuck off yourself twatweasel.

          • The Sleeper says:

            Talking to yourself,sonny jim,is the first sign of madness.

          • thick as thieves says:

            mad twats who talk to themselves? time for tat, sonny jim

            I am just about to get banned by the arch tory Guido Fawkes.
            Fawkes never gave a damn about the expenses scandal, he only used it as cover to act as a propagandist for the tories.
            now the general election is so close Guido is sweating like a rapist and the reader should expect no impariality from this place from here-on-in.
            Fawkes is a tory fifth columnist.
            end of story.
            still going to be a Labour win Guido and when that happens I will return to gloat.
            you lose, I win.

          • Anon says:

            Er, I think you will find the original unadulterated post said
            That will be all.

      • 89
        Unsworth says:

        Might get a bit messy then. Not the sort of mess that can be cleaned up with wet-wipes, either.

    • 69
      Norfolk Turkey says:

      As a rural person, i refer you the old adage of counting chickens before the battery eggs have been boxed.

    • 112
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Hands up all those looking forward to this weekend’s papers.

      What’s it all about Alfie?

    • 114
      Engineer says:

      Good point – I’d forgotten PMQs. Wonder if Cameron will really go for the jugular as it’s the last one. Don’t usually watch, but just might this time….

      “Does the Prime Mentalist agree with me that he is an economic imbecile, a mendacious and duplicitious hoon, and a totally washed-out fuckwit?”

      • 121
        The Prime Mentalist says:


      • 183
        Steve Expat says:

        Please Dave, actually call him a liar over defence spending and the Chilcott enquiry.

        It’s going to be the last chance to do it, and get rebuked by the soon to be ousted Squeaker in the process…

        • 202
          The Dirty Rat says:

          Why not ask him direct if he is taking drugs to get him through the day?

          Old jugears did it and he was a fuming.

  29. 63
    Penfold says:

    They should still stand and fuck the Fib-dems.

    So he’s back-tracked on cider, next is beer!!. ;-)

    • 79
      Kuntztrik says:

      Anyone for the Petrol Party

      • 215
        Anonymous says:

        He’s only backtracked temporarily in order to get the Finance Act passed before the GE.
        If it doesn’t pass then the budget is kaput.But watch out for what happens if LieBour get back in power.

  30. 77
    restandbthankfull says:

    Has Mandlescum taken over the BBC today?

    • 101
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Of course, it’s the right thing to do.
      If that c*nt says, “They just don’t ged it” once more I swear I will put my fist through the screen.

      • 191
        Not Getting It says:

        He’s right.

        When it comes to Parliamentary reform, the tories don’t get why the reforms have to be reforms that solely benefit the labour party (at the expense of Parliament, democracy and the public).

        I don’t get that either, but that is what labour are planning.

    • 137
      Tristram Hoon says:

      It’s a cottage industry so why not?

    • 145
      Sir William Waad says:

      No, he took it over years ago. They eat of his hand, sometimes quite literally and while dressed as ponies.

  31. 78
    Tom Logan, Institute for Studies says:

    A victory for all. The threat of a ridiculous tax rise removed and Labour look like a bunch of cowards who havent the courage to implement an unpopular tax rise that they think is necessary!

    Whatever they did, they where going to be screwed. Thats what being serially incompetant is all about. I look forward to moer of this and then their complete humiliation come the election.

    • 166
      Anonymous says:

      Slight correction here, the cider tax was dropped out of business that could be passed before the dissolution of parliament as it did not have cross party support. GOOD!

  32. 82
    The Sleeper says:

    Wall to wall coverage of Labour propaganda from BBC.

    Mandelson has now got the bloody cheek to claim that Labour are responsible for cleaning up Parliament.

    A slip up though..he’s acknowledged loads of new Tory MP’s in the next Parliament…..at which parties cost then Pierre?

    • 98
      restandbthankfull says:

      I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard Mandletwat saiyng the Liebour party had cleaned up Government – he’s having a laugh isn’t he? What a dork. Mind you when you have the Jayne Hills of this world grovelling at his feet, hanging on his every word they can say what they like with little or no comeback – no hard questions at the BBC – move along nothing new there.

      • 136
        revolting peasant. says:

        A friend applied for two seats on tonights Question Time in Woking. Neither has any party affiliations and indicated on-line that they were floating voters. On Bank Holiday Monday a bloke from Question Time phoned to say they’d got two seats, and would speak again the following day to finalise details.
        In the subsequent phone call they were told the offer no longer stood as they weren’t Labour supporters!!

        • 164
          Baboon's arse says:

          Its all just a sack of shite.

          Really, it is.

          And to think we pay a licence fee.

        • 203
          I B Seldom-Lucid says:

          If that is true – perhaps the story should be given to the dead tree press and independent news channels. Such a conspiracy would energise the voters.

      • 212
        Not Getting It says:

        When the “man in white” who stood as an independent anti-sleaze candidate in 1997, a man who admitted to being naturally more aligned to labour, says that the system is way more corrupt now than it was in 1997, and you ask Which Party has been in power with a stonking great majority during all of that time, the only conclusion is that it was labour that sullied Parliament in the first place. It is the Labour Government that changed the rules on expenses and encouraged the troughing. Although Tory and Liberal MP’s both engaged in it, it is overwhelmingly labour MP’s who were deepest into the labour created trough.

        Which party’s MPs are in the dock facing criminal charges under the theft act? Overwhelmingly LABOUR. Even after all this scandal, which party’s MP’s was it caught in the Dispatches’ sting operation on Lobbying? Overwhelmingly LABOUR Again!!!

        Why the FUCK don’t the BBC actually remind Mandlescum of some of these things, along with reminding him that he is NOT democratically elected and had to resign in disgrace TWICE.

        Is Mandleson even FIT to judge whether politics is clean or not? The BBC is showing extremely poor judgement by giving that man airtime at all.

      • 252
        Anonymous says:

        And not once… not fucking once, do the Tories ever pull him up about having to resign twice in disgrace!! Jeez, fish in barrel, shoot the fuckers. How difficult can it be to send Mandelweasel back under the stone form whence he came?

    • 194
      The Whiner says:

      Jeremy Hunt Conservative MP, Shadow Culture Secretary

      “I believe that the BBC is a great national institution.”

      “I am proud of the BBC. I think that most British people think that we are very lucky to have a BBC and most people who aren’t British, if they don’t have a BBC, wish they did have one.”

      “I don’t see the BBC as a State broadcaster. “I think people see the BBC as operating at arms length from the government and it’s very important that it should continue to do so and that’s why we’ve said we will protect the BBC charter.”

      • 285
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        Gordon Brown (total imbecile and soon to be ex-PM)

        Promised and end to boom and bust

        Tony Blair (ex-PM, war criminal and murderer of Dr. Kelley)

        Promised to serve a full term if elected in 2005

        Also promised a referendum on the Lisbon Constitution/Treaty

        Politicians are known to lie :)

  33. 90
    restandbthankfull says:

    Rory Cellophane Jones has a new title Digital somethign or other. You couldn’t make it up could you. He’s going to be reporting on the “new fangled” things such as Twitter and Facebook – new fangled?

    I do love it when the Beeboids go on about the over 50s not knowing anything about tinternet and will be left behind in this election campaign. I wonder who these “experts” think invented the bloody thing! As a 50 something who has worked in the computing industry for 35 years I do wonder where these people her their info – from themselves and their own inadequacies perhaps?

  34. 92
    brown bread says:

    They’re scrapping their tired out old policies to make room for all those Tory ones they’re gonna copy.

  35. 96
    BBC aren't BIASED because THEY SAY SO says:

    We want you to know that we are fully behind the re-election of a government so long as it’s labour. We will broadcast everything that is good about labour. We will visit all the towns and cities and enable the population to make it’s own mind up about voting labour. We will provide senior members of the labour party to answer your questions and profer their views on the election. We will work hard to make this election one based on balanced reporting and coverage for labour. And for all those who can’t spell our famed, impartial reporter is call Laura Kuenssberg – get it right – we will!!

    • 105
      restandbthankfull says:

      I do love it when they interview Labour MPs and come up with the “we are gettings huindreds of emails asking this question…….”. Yeah right, it’s just a ploy to ask the questions they want to ask. They really do think we are fools don’t they.

      • 140
        Shit Happens says:

        I got banned from Indymedia (yes they do collect IP’s) for posting a spoof jobs vacancy ad for stooges for the BBC ,I kidd you not.

    • 154
      BBC -always right says:

      We will also concentrate on the hung parliament scenario so that any idea of tactical voting in any given constituency is rejected by the voters as a pointless exercise in light of the unlikelihood, promulgated by us, of any party being able to get an overall majority and they will therefore feel free to vote for “Others”.

    • 245
      thick as thieves still answering all his own posts like the TWAT he is says:

      I agree with everything I say

  36. 103
    Clarence says:

    Right, let’s work this one out.

    The government introduce a tax on cider and when there is a public outcry and the threat of political reprisals, they drop it. Well, they don’t drop it but promise to re-introduce it if they’re re-elected.

    What’s that all about, then?

    In other news, Gordon pledges to buy back the gold he sold and uninvade Iraq. If elected, he will sell it again at a rock-bottom price and use the proceeds to bomb the shit out of Baghdad.

    • 234
      Harpic says:

      I think you will find that Dave told Gorgon to stick the Taxes on cider and phonelines in his Mandelscum back pocket as it would be voted down if brought before the house.

  37. 104
    The Beast of Tristram Hunt says:

    Selection process for employing reporters at the BBC, Sky, and Channel 4 – make sure they have, “SOCIALIST TWAT” stamped on their foreheads.

    • 152
      Shit Happens says:

      and fag branded on their arse

    • 210
      Whining Pussies says:

      you mean apart from when they exposed the Labour Cash Hoonery and Brown’s Lies ? Having to do Cameron’s job for him
      yet again

  38. 109
    David Cameron says:

    People say I don’t understand people at the lower echelons of society.
    That is simply not true, I too am a housing benefit cheat.
    Vote for me, I offer change you can deceive in.

    • 143
      Can't remember my moniker says:

      Not many of your lot in here today. All tired out from yesterday’s school project: Follow McBroon to Rochester and pretend to be ordinary citizens in love with him.

      • 213
        piss poor toryboy trolling says:

        David Cameron took out maximum taxpayer-funded mortgage – then paid off own £75k loan four months later

        David Cameron was dragged personally into the expenses row after it was revealed that he paid off a loan on his London home shortly after taking out a £350,000 taxpayer-funded mortgage on his constituency house.
        The disclosure followed a powerful call by the Tory leader yesterday for the ‘full force of the law’ to be deployed against MPs who have abused allowances.
        Following a Mail on Sunday investigation Mr Cameron could now face searching questions about his own expense claims.


        Dave claimed for expenses on a second home – the mortgage interest, when he only had one mortgage. He was also one of the largest claimers of this expense in the commons for many years.

        • 283
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          You prove beyond doubt that you are blind as well as stupid. I repeat for your benefit:

          This is the first time, in a century and a half, that we have had a government, of which a large number of its members appear to have behaved criminally.

          We ought to be starting now a process whereby the criminality of their actions can begin to be investigated under neutral control when this government is out of office and, if prima facie evidence is uncovered, the perpetrators can be held to account in a court of law for their misdeeds.

          The area of investigation should range from expenses, at the lower end, to the legality of the Iraq war, at the upper end, and would inter alia include the circumstances surrounding the death of Dr David Kelly. It should not be confined just to members of the Labour Party but, through their holding of office, will involve them more than the other parties.

          In the event of successful criminal prosecution, then all benefits should be withdrawn and those paid out become repayable. Using existing laws, introduced by this government, personal assets may be seized, especially but not restricted to, where such assets have derived from improper conduct. DNA samples and tagging, complete with curfews, should be introduced for all those under investigation so that they may be found at time of trial.

          When this process is complete, it may be found appropriate to withdraw such measures but since they introduced them, they can have no cause for complaint at having them used against themselves.

          Is it not right that, as they have ruled, so should they be judged and dealt with?

          If the incoming administration, who would potentially face similar action in the event of wrongdoing, following their time in office, fail to instigate this then I propose that we should set up a fund to bring private prosecutions until the authorities were embarrassed into doing the job properly.

          They should not be treated any differently, for better or for worse, than they have treated us.

  39. 116
    The American Airforce says:

    Our rules of engagement are simple: if it moves, bomb it, if it doesn’t move, bomb it.
    If it is an innocent Afghan civilian shoot it.
    Er, that’s it folks.

  40. 120
    Oh and by the way says:

    O/t Anyone know what the Sunday Times has on Bercow?

  41. 125
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I suspect that DC is now in possession of the FOI request regarding Brown sending off our gold to Gold4Cash. PMQ’s here we come.

    • 163
      F16 over Gaza Via mobile says:

      At the time gold was trading around $282 an ounce. I think Cash4Gold are offering more. So gormless didn’t even get the jewelers second hand price of a third

    • 177
      restandbthankfull says:

      Surely it was http://www.gold4littleornocash.com

      Christ they’ve got Mandlescum on yet again – how many times is that in the past hour. I am off out. Jayne Hill loves Many doesn’t she – she’s climatic at the moment.

    • 192
      Steve Expat says:

      If he had sold the gold now at the current price, he would not have to increase NI by 1% next year.

      Just sayin’

  42. 127
    worzel says:

    me and dafthead not happy with them that guvment, think i,ll erigate to amerikee

  43. 141
    Stepney says:

    Go back to your trailers and REJOICE!

  44. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Something the smokers should have done 3 years ago…..I know,before the comments,I was one of the armchair whingers,but judging by the various pubco shares the chickens are coming home to roost…….

  45. 153
    Gordon Brown says:

    The British economy is like Wayne Rooney’s ankle – making a fantastic recovery. My ability to tell the truth is like Arsenal’s football skills – fucking shit.

  46. 167

    i dont have a drink problem

    i drink
    i get drunk
    i fall over
    no fucking problem !

  47. 169
    restandbthankfull says:

    A clip of McMental speaking to the twat John on GMTV saying that he was in Kent yesterday and people were saying we have been through a lot, we have been through a lot…………………….. I thought he visited Morrisons and asked about easter eggs no one got a chance to say more than two words to him. Does he forget he is followed by cameras. What a twat.

    • 205
      Lizzie says:

      Brown asked one Morrisons worker….”what do you sell?” what kind of question is that! it is a supermarket. Just shows how “in touch” Brown is with ordinary people.

  48. 178

    [...] he could find to comment on this morning was a victory for the Cider Party formed by a rather red-faced group of men in Somerset to campaign against a rise in the tax on [...]

  49. 182
    Sunday Morning says:

    Hoping to get in there befoe the price rise I bought loads of the stuff hoping to unload it at a healthy profit.

    Now, not only have I got loads of stock I’ll be lucky to shift at cost price, the SFO are investigating me for in cider trading….

    • 208
      Dodgy Dosser Campbell says:

      How much for the lot pal? I’m back on the piss again.

      We stuck it to them Man City boys good and proper. Where am I? Gius a drink you feckin bar steward.

  50. 196
    ron Vibentrop says:


  51. 198
    Antisthenes says:


    The big question of the day is who was the giver and who was the taker?

    • 214
      Bullingdon Blinder says:


      The big question of the day is who was the giver and who was the taker?

  52. 207
    Gordon Brown's Press Officer says:

    Just been “tweeted” from the Bunker.

    Gordon Brown will be in superb form at todays PMQ’s and will deal a knockout blow to David Cameron’s Conservatives and of course Lord Ashcroft will get many mentions

  53. 255
    wee logician says:

    Yes, and the fact that they dropped it so quick just shows that they are desperate to protect the rest of their high tax legacy. A thief nicking a tenner from your wallet will apologise profusely so that you don’t check if he’s nicked your credit card too.

  54. 259
    thick as thieves says:

    s a u s a g e s

  55. 262
    Uranus, The Magician says:

    Why is Magner’s cider so bloody expensive?
    Why do cider makers call the alcoholic drink made from pears, “Pear Cider”, when the correct name is “Perry”?

  56. 265
    Auntie Flo' says:

    With apologies to the Bay City Rollers.

    Bye, Bye, Gordon
    Gordon, Bye Bye
    Bye Gordon
    Bye Bye Gordon!

    Bye Bye, Gordon
    You’re gonna cry
    Bye, Gordon
    Bye Bye, Gordon

    Wish that we’d never known you better
    Gordon, we wish we’d never met ya!

    Gord we’ve crying since the day we met ya
    That’s why Gordon we are gonna get ya


    Bye Bye, Gordon,
    Gordon. Bye Bye
    Bye, Gordon
    Bye Bye Gordon!

    Bye Bye, Gordon
    We want you to cry
    Bye, Gordon
    Bye Bye Gordon

  57. 270
    TaT Isn't Even Here and Yet He Has Still Won This Thread says:

    Now that is what you call genius, innit.

  58. 271
    Ciderman says:

    Now leave our cider alone you pinko bullshitting pherverts!

  59. 278
    kl says:

    “it’s leader said. Well late last night the tax was dropped”

    should be its mate :p

  60. 287
    Ed Moran says:

    First, a sad admission, I am a real ale man, don’t drink cider!
    Second, I love what you have done here.
    Next, you have something good going: don’t stop now!
    Where do I sign up?

  61. 288
    magners says:

    i love magners.. so refreshing!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Kevin Maguire on the less than electrifying Ed Miliband…

“I bet if you went into a pub tonight and started a conversation about ­politics you’d hear strong opinions. David Cameron would be out of touch and Nick Clegg despised while Nigel Farage would divide people sharply. Miliband? In a lot of boozers he’d be the fourth most interesting man in British politics.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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