April 6th, 2010

Its Off

The Downing Street twitter feed will be silenced shortly, the website will be mothballed, SpAds will have already handed in their Blackberries. The Civil Service is now running the country…


  1. 1

    Shame the Civil Service hasn’t been running it for the past 13 years – would have saved the taxpayer an absolute mint.

    • 6
      Mr Ned says:


      Inundate them with your questions. I have asked about Hollie Greig, The shelf life of WMD and the permitted level of uranium enrichment in the NNPT.

      Go ahead, ask them awkward questions!

      • 41

      • 82
        Anonymous says:

        With a general election campaign underway, here are some ideas for questions to ask candidates.

        • 226
          Mr Ned says:

          Excellent questions.

          They need to be asked what clubs, associations, charities, think-tanks, secret societies that they belong to or have associations with and whether they have attended Bilderburg meetings and what they have agreed to do at such meetings.

        • 362
          Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

          Yeah, we all know how it’s spelt. Hmm.. well, the official record has been corrected. The day of – or just after – the question was defo misspelt as I spent hours searching for it online. Tip of the day: if you come across shady content on the interwebs, grab a screenshot before it vanishes or is changed.

      • 102
        Anonymous says:

        well i started to ask now he fucked off

      • 162
        Odds Bodkins says:

        Here’s some of mine:

        Why are there so few allotment spaces in the country?

        Why are you making things more difficult for those that wish to school their kids at home?

        What are the local party activists doing about the expenses scandal in their own patch? Evidence please.

        When the cost of the Olympics overruns, who pays the bills? Given that the average UK taxpayer has little interest in sport, why should he?

        Given that Labour started the Number10.gov.uk website, and has ignored everything the public has so far petitioned for, is it not time to take the thing down?

        Why is it that the BBC in spite of being funded with public money does not have the same FoI responsibilities as other publically funded organisations? Why should they decide what should be excempt? The Balen report anyone?

      • 186
        Down Periscope says:

        Mr Ned. Good to keep up the level of exposure reference Hollie Greig.

      • 209
        Anonymous says:

        Will a Tory government declassify the Dunblane/Operation Ore files?

        • 232
          Mr Ned says:

          Good question!!!

          • Gobshite says:

            Very good question!

            Somehow, I doubt it.

            100 years is pretty much unprecedented. There must be some seriously juicy stuff in that file.

            Why can’t some civil service fuckwit leave that on a train?

    • 12
      loftus road says:

      Only a few more weeks of Brown.

      Today is a good day as the end is in sight!

      • 57
        Number 7 says:

        Fire up the Quattro

      • 216
        Anonymous says:

        The clean-up team has already gone in to clean up all the broken Nokias

      • 251
        Brown's a Tosser says:

        Your right today is a very good day. At long last the British People can exercise their right and send Gordon and his cronies packing. This is a totally discredited government/movement (NuLabour) that has failed this country in so many ways that to make a list would fill Guido’s bandwidth allocation. Time people to rid the country of this tosser.

    • 18
      Gordon man of spin says:

      But why has it been leaked?

      Surely Brown should show proper respect to HM and not tell the press until he has told her.

      • 20
        Dack Blog says:

        Can she send him to the tower for that?

        • 29
          David says:

          She ought to. Do we have a headsman? An ad in the Grauniad methinks.

          • A Grouniad respondunt, (desponderntly) says:

            Can I be considered?

            Underneath all the Grouniad po-faced readership there lurks wild, barely-controlled fury and blood lust – well, lust anyway. They shag each other like rabbits – and call it ‘freedom of expression’.

            Yeah – right!

            They’re also pretty good at telling everyone else what to do (for example Pollytwaddle)

          • Dack Blog says:

            The only person who’d shag a Guardian reader is another Guardian reader. That’s why they’re developing signs of inbreeding. Premature baldness and myopia is more common in G reading men apparently. And women are developing a higher incidence of knick-knacks woven by natives in developing countries.

        • 48
          Engineer says:

          He’s terrified of the corgis. He’ll probably inform Her Maj by txt mssge.

          Either that, or he thinks “requesting a dissolution from the Queen” is asking Mandy.

        • 130
          Unsworth says:


        • 213
          Anonymous says:

          I don’t give a fuck about the Queen let’s just get that c*nt out of Downing Street.

    • 37

      My campaign website is now live


    • 42
      Jethro Q Walrus-Titty says:


    • 59

      … and the pope still loves kids.

      • 98

        The grey vote looks interesting, but not surprising.


        • 154
          The Admiral says:

          When I was a lad e.t.c. All good fun.
          Two things. I can’t wait for the Tory win and second the polls take on how they were NEARLY right… yeah right…

        • 313
          Madme Defarge says:

          Doesn’t surprise me either. It strikes me it’s only half brained lefty kids who have no concept of what it has been like to live through Labour administrations.
          They’re all shite except this one knocks the rest into a cocked hat.

      • 134
        Pope Ringstinger says:

        Not as much as my filthy lucre though.
        Anyone want some splinters off my old bog seat?…going cheap.

      • 178

        You dont mean the Hitler youth, Kiddie Fiddling cover up leader of the catholic church “God’s Representative On Earth” of the vatican, who helped the escape of hundreds of Nazis to South America

        that pope ?

        • 245
          Queen says:

          fuck off, Dr Williams.

        • 308
          Pope Ringstinger says:

          Yes it was me but please don’t mention South America again.
          You thought the child abuse and cover ups were bad in the Industrialized nations you want to see what a big cathedral and rampant priest can get away with in a poor uneducated country.

    • 230

      Au contraire, Tony, the civil service has been running the country for the last 13 years. And the 13 before that, and the 13 before that.

      It’s precisely why this country is in such a bloody mess.

    • 293
      DNTT says:

      Her Majesty played it safe while Jonah visited her home.

      The fire brigade were on standby at Buckingham Palace.

  2. 2
    Brown's Buggered Britain says:

    Time to clear-up the Brown mess!

    • 5
      MI5 says:

      The Labour toadie Gus O’Donnell is running the country you mean

      Must be sacked within a month of taking over…

      The Civil Service must have its independence restored…

      • 9
        Mr Ned says:

        Within a day! Do not give him a minute more than is necessary. He’ll have an entire office shredding stuff 24/7

      • 320
        Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

        Odonnell has been struggling to become a Tory toady these last few months. If Camy had the brains of a gnat Odo would be the first one sacked without compensation and his pension confiscated.

        • 358
          Piss stained y-fronts says:

          Anyone noticed how quiet the Labour trolls have been today?

          Might this be something to do with the fact that all use of governmental phones, internet ect have been retracted today?

          Thats where all the money went then.

  3. 3
    jgm2 says:

    So it’s June 3rd then?

    • 77

      Think it’s just you and me mooting that, jgm2. Could it be that we are right and the whole world is wrong?

      Wouldn’t be the first time…..

      • 99
        jgm2 says:

        I guess we’ll know soon enough. The personal surprise at being wrong about the date will be more than compensated by the knowledge that we’re shot of the worthless incompetent fucker and his legion of hectoring incompetent jackasses a full month earlier than I’d hoped.

        I still don’t see Brown doing himself out of an extra month of playing at being master of the universe though.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    No they are not. The DE Bill will still be rushed through by the crooked MPs.

  5. 7
    DecoyDuck says:

    Gus has his hands on the levers of power. I wonder what he really thinks of Brown.

    • 200
      PhilP says:

      Judge a man by his actions.
      He obviously thinks the sun shines out of Brown’s arse.

      • 315
        Madme Defarge says:

        I don’t think so. Has anyone ever thought that some of the Mandarins may well be hiding incriminating evidence for their own day of reckoning. They aren’t all Labour placemen.

  6. 8
    Anonymous says:

    I’ll believe it when I see it.

  7. 10
    Blue Rosette says:

    Appreciate the sun is shining but anyone else noticed how upbeat everyone seems to be today – and the first day back after Easter.

    Then on arriving everyone has worked out the 50% tax rate has kicked in plus increased NI.

    So I need to work more than 6 months of the year to earn anything extra.

    Clever move Darling. Not.

    • 64
      Mr Darling says:

      All your monies are belong to us.

    • 166
      Self-Employed Tyke says:

      If you work in private industry it is the first day back (ie 2 days off), if you are in the public sector ie. councils then another lie-in at our expense!!


  8. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Is the removal van booked yet?

  9. 13
    Sarah Tweet says:

    doing a bit of cooking inventing dishes based on what is in the cupboard/fridge – suspect there will be mixed results!

    • 16

      Could be a good moment to book that appointment with Fiona Shackleton for yourself and Dignitas for your “husband”.

    • 22
      Dack Blog says:

      Oh do shut the fuck up you irritating bint.

      • 32
        jgm2 says:

        Tacitly admitting she’s expecting to be moving house shortly. Running down the contents of the larder.

        Off you fuck Brown.

        • 50
          lolol says:

          he’ll never have an election in May!
          I stake my reputation on it!
          lol lol

          • jgm2 says:

            I’m still going for June 3rd too.

            It is just so uncharacteristic for him to do without an extra four weeks of playing at being king I just don’t see it happening.

    • 31
      Mr Ned says:

      Using up the last stuff before you are evicted? Wow you have the level of confidence in your husband as the rest of us.

    • 132
      Thats News says:

      She has a chef and a team of kitchen hands. Her twitters are made up. After all, she has £500 a month to spend on food.

      • 148
        Porridge says:

        Good point. Best check Gordon’s food expenses to make sure it reflects Sarah using up the scraps.

      • 220
        A Pensioner says:

        The pair of them are fat bastards, so I guess they are maxing the exes.

      • 289
        Spud_Gun says:

        The bitch gets more to spend on food a month than I get from my War Pension.

    • 170
      Thigh Watch says:

      A definite result is that it will go straight on your tree trunk thighs

  10. 14
    A Pensioner says:

    Its not sufficient that the fat Scotch poof gets defeated.

    All the lying destructive swine need to be held to account.

    Justice must be done.

  11. 15
    • 54
      Two taxis for Brown in case one breaks down says:

      About F**king time

      • 214
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        The only question now is whether the fucker will walk out of Downing St. or be carried out on a stretcher.

        • 236
          Anonymous says:

          Can he be buried at a crossroads

          • ShoutsAtTheTV says:

            Heheh… Get some of that concrete pumped over his lifeless body… Help fill in some of those pot holes

        • 280
          Brown's a Tosser says:

          Perhaps he and the whole cabinet could go down into the bunker and a nice little but big enough IED placed strategically to ensure the bunker is sealed for good. That would do the trick.

  12. 17
    Sir William Waad says:

    6 May. Told you so.

    • 33
      jgm2 says:

      I’m still going for 3rd June. Or later.

      • 44
        Anonymous says:

        anything could happen in the next half hour

        • 66
          Anonymous says:

          Nothing is ‘happening’. Gordon will stay clinging to office until voted out and arrested. In the meantime, its all pagentry and nonsense.

          • hang um high says:

            Gordon come out from the cupboard you have a meeting with the Queen……fuck off im not going so there

        • 87

          anything could happen in the next half hour

          That man really could do opening credits. Although my particular fave would be the bouncing nipples and purple wigs of UFO, just pipping Capt Scarlet’s milk bottles.

  13. 19
    boulay says:

    it is good to see most of the beeb staff resplendent in red ties etc this morning. i thought ben wright was a labour PPC until his job title flashed on screen!

    beeb balance means that they have to offset one positive (guardian) poll for labour with one for tories (sun) brushing over the other pro tory polls of last night and the weekend. nice.

    • 38
      Moley says:

      The BBC Charter and agreement requires the BBC to be impartial at all times.

      The fact that it has to radically change its stance for the pre-election period shows what a malicious farce the BBC, its Charter, and its Trust have become.

      Even if nothing else is done; a way has to be find of scrapping the BBC’s self regulation regime and putting the policing of compliance with the Charter and agreement in the hands of an authority with teeth.

      That means doing the same as the City regulators; taking action against individuals where appropriate, rather than the corporate body.

      • 156
        Marlborough says:

        I wonder if they’ll change back to the blue colour scheme of the mid 90s if the Conservatives win. Didn’t they change to red around ’97?

      • 181
        backwoodsman says:

        Whats needed is a ‘three strikes and your out’ procedure for beeboid s guilty of pro-labour nonsense. And the right not to pay a licence fee , if you object to it on grounds of beeboid bias.
        Tory politicians need to make it more of an election issue.

      • 187
        Thats News says:

        It would be nice to have the BBC back.

    • 53
      Mr Ned says:


      http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/ has some of the best interpretation and presentation of current polling trends.

      That 4% Guardian poll is one blip out of 6 polls taken so far this month.

      Those polls give the tories leads of:

      10, 10, 4, 10, 11, 8. points respectively.

      ukpolling report also looks at the methodology of each of the polls and whether they are like-for-like polls. YOUGOV has changed it’s weightings for this election in that 10% lead. However, the weighting change has probably only made a difference of 1%.

      These polls are pointing to the tories just scraping a single figure majority as they are not including the larger swing to the tories in the key marginals.

      The BBC was also disingenuous going on about the enormous swing needed by the tories to form a government. They never said WHY they needed such a large swing, after all, last time they were only 2% points behind labour and yet they still need a 10% swing to form a government. This is because of the wildly biased seating boundaries that gift labour a 40 seat majority on equal votes.

      The ONLY reason labour are in this race at all, is because the seat boundaries are massively biased in their favour. You NEVER hear the BBC saying this, but if the boundaries favoured the tories, they would be repeating it on every election news item.

      The BBC’s impartiality only extends as far as equal time, NOT the negative/positive balance of stories.

      • 74
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        When the voters turn, oh boy they turn! It is my opinion that the gerrymandering by NewLab will act decisively against them.

      • 90
        Ratsniffer says:

        Mr Ned do you think the boundary changes during this next election will make a difference?

        • 332
          Mr Ned says:

          The boundaries at the 2001 election gave labour 66 seats of their majority.

          The boundaries at the 2005 election where changed to recognise Scottish devolution but still gave labour 60 seats of their majority.

          The latest boundary changes have reduced the labour bias, but still would give them approximately 40-44 seats of majority based on equal votes cast.

          If the boundaries had been set as a fair representation of the political make-up of this country, then the last election should have produced a hung Parliament with labour being the biggest party. One could argue that our system provided clarity and the party with the largest vote in 2005 won overall power.

          However, how will the voting public react if the tories get a million more votes than labour, but labour still form the next government? Even as a minority government?

          This would not be a “quirk” of our democracy. This would be the denial of the democratic will of the people. In other words, A total dictatorship. Brown would have ZERO mandate in such a situation.

          I would recommend that we all prepare our “Notice of Understanding and Claim of Rights” and prepare a sworn affidavit to present to the Queen or an official representative stating that we are NOT bound by any statute passed by a Government which has not received the democratic will of the people to govern.

          A Statute is NOT law. It only carries the “force of law” with the “CONSENT OF THE GOVERNED.” Any party that forms a government with fewer votes than another party, cannot be said to have the “CONSENT OF THE GOVERNED” Therefore they cannot pass legislation that carries the force of law.

          Get YOUR signed, witnessed Affidavits ready NOW!

          • Madme Defarge says:

            Sounds like a plan Mr Ned

          • Corporate State Slave says:

            Understand what Ned has just told you and do some research.

            “A Statute is NOT law. It only carries the “force of law” with the “CONSENT OF THE GOVERNED.” ”

            Think about this next time you are asked to pay a “fine” for a non criminal act by a “community” suppport officer..or other jobsworth in a uniform.

            No Consent, No Crime, NO Name, No thanks….

      • 94

        Toady said the Tories need a 10% lead because of “the voting system”. See? I expect it’s all down to some 17th century quirk. Nothing to do with vote rigging. It’s tradition.

      • 240
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        My prediction FWIW is:

        Con 43
        Lab 28
        Lib 18

        Should give the Tories a 3 figure majority.

        • 323
          ShoutsAtTheTV says:

          And what would your revised figures be if the BBC weren’t in existence? (I’m just interested to know ;O)

    • 296
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Well will there be change at the BBC? The BBC charter and agreement calls for impartiality during the election campaign. This is something that will prove very interesting to view over the coming weeks. No doubt many on here will hold the beeb to acoount.

      • 354
        Mr Ned says:

        They have already FAILED to be impartial. The highlighting of one freak poll out of the six taken this month proves that!

    • 356
      Ian Dales says:

      That’s right, the most important election for 20 years, and I base my vote on the fucking colour of ties worn by BBC reporters. Fucksake.

  14. 21
    Can't remember my moniker says:


    This is the first time, in a century and a half, that we have had a government, of which a large number of its members appear to have behaved criminally.

    We ought to be starting now a process whereby the criminality of their actions can begin to be investigated under neutral control when this government is out of office and, if prima facie evidence is uncovered, the perpetrators can be held to account in a court of law for their misdeeds.

    The area of investigation should range from expenses, at the lower end, to the legality of the Iraq war, at the upper end, and would inter alia include the circumstances surrounding the death of Dr David Kelly. It should not be confined just to members of the Labour Party but, through their holding of office, will involve them more than the other parties.

    In the event of successful criminal prosecution, then all benefits should be withdrawn and those paid out become repayable. Using existing laws, introduced by this government, personal assets may be seized, especially but not restricted to, where such assets have derived from improper conduct. DNA samples and tagging, complete with curfews, should be introduced for all those under investigation so that they may be found at time of trial.

    When this process is complete, it may be found appropriate to withdraw such measures but since they introduced them, they can have no cause for complaint at having them used against themselves.

    Is it not right that, as they have ruled, so should they be judged and dealt with?

    If the incoming administration, who would potentially face similar action in the event of wrongdoing, following their time in office, fail to instigate this then I propose that we should set up a fund to bring private prosecutions until the authorities were embarrassed into doing the job properly.

    They should not be treated any differently, for better or for worse, than they have treated us.

    As many as are of that opinion say Aye?

  15. 23
    Clarence says:

    Guido, I must remind you that your site now has to abide by election rules. You must give equal coverage to the main parties and you are banned from playing In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

    Vote Labour.

    • 72

      Labour think Brown is a Twat
      Conservatives think Brown is a Twat
      Lib Dems think Brown is a Twat
      Whole Country think Brown is a Twat
      European union think Brown is a Twat
      Rest of the World think Brown is a Twat

    • 274
      Thats News says:

      Clarence, the site is probably outside the control of UK election law. Though Guido sticks it to any politician of whatever colour should they deserve it.

    • 316
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      This man has no shame. Watching now him outside Downing Street with the other cronies and all the BS spouting from his mouth. He came from a middle class family who instilled values namely telling the truth well there is the first lie of the campaign then. He never tells the truth and its proven. Fuck off now and never come back you complete and utter tosser. God I hate this man more than I thought was possible. I hope the british electorate feel the same as for the good of the country he needs to be well and truly defeated.

  16. 24
    Right Bastard says:

    Huhne on the BBC again – haven’t the Libdems got another mouthpiece?

    • 40
      Proud Englishman says:

      Huhne is the most annoying little shit on TV at the moment. He is so fucking smug. Closely followed by Yvette Balls. She wouldn’t be talking so much if I had anything to do with it!

      • 86
        JL says:

        Huhne is a demented zealot heading for a breakdown.

      • 368
        Tommy Thrust and the Fudge Packers says:

        Yeah Mark Oaten but at the moment his mouth is full of Polish rent-boy shit or was it dumped on his back?

      • 369
        Dildo says:

        Yvette Balls would’nt be talking at all if she was with me she would be gurgling with delight as her gob would be overflowing all the time

  17. 25
    Put them in the Curry! says:

  18. 26
    Centre Parting says:

    This is the time that the BBC should be pulled up for political bias – they are incapable of being impartial.

  19. 27
    Brian Parkhurst says:

    Surely you headline should have read “It’s ON”; “They’re OFF – hopefully for good!

  20. 28
    Mitch says:

    The useless jock knob jockey is probably stood behind the door hoping Alkey aida will launch some kind of event so he can use his shiny new “civil contingencies act” and have Cameron shot and Parliament knocked down.

    i really hope he hasn’t slept a wink or if he has he has had his version of A Christmas Carol …..but its toooooo late for Gordooooooom.

    • 190
      Benito Mussolini as Punch says:

      Invet a crisis to avoid having an election…….That’s the way to do it!

  21. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Jilted John downloads from iTunes set to soar

    • 78
      Mr Ned says:

      Wait until the last week before of April before buying it to make “Gordon is a moron” number one for election week!

  22. 34
    At last the day has arrived. says:

    Despite being the most incompetent Chancellor and Prime Minister ever in the history of Great Britain the Great Buffoon thinks he can now win an election based on the economy. This stretches incredulity to the moon and back. How anyone with more than two brain cells can believe that the man who has bankrupted the country is then able to then put it right is deluded beyond any hope of salvation.

    This communist socialist party along with the other communist dullards in Europe are coming undone fast and we should get out fast or they will reduce this country to starvation levels. You think it can’t get worse? Then think again, it can and it will if this man Gordon Brown, the Great Buffoon, get his hands on power again.

    We are entering a time of great economic difficulties that have been disguised by printing money and letting the pound disintegrate to levels never seen before. Brown has borrowed more hard cash than all parliaments ever before in total and there will be a pay back time.

    If state spending is not cut and cut hard now the results will be catastrophic, do not think because we are a modern civilized western country that we will be extended credit for ever by countries that have a financial surplus. That is to say countries like China who have worked hard to bring themselves out of poverty by determination and struggle. They are not paying excessive benefits to the work shy and those with a permanent bad back and we can not afford it either. They are not paying for an army of civil servants with titles like “diversity officers” and office bound policemen and young university graduate social workers with no experience of life that let youngsters die of starvation and abuse.

    The best chance is Cameron, but what ever you do, DO NOT vote for the Great Buffoon Brown and the failed communists ever again.

    • 324
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Your right it is amazing that they consider their record on the economy is a plus point. I am sure over the coming weeks this will be well and truly targeted by the other parties. There will be other fringe issues but the mantra its the economy stupid will again be proved the issue above all issues.

  23. 36
    Jac says:

    At least we know Labour can’t use our taxes to campaign for themselves any longer. That has been a joke!

    • 182
      Union Modernisation Fund Money Laundering Inc. says:


      £4.5 million of taxpayers’ money, going straight into Unite’s coffers. And then out again direct into Labour Party coffers.

  24. 45
    Paul Fald says:

    Tally Ho !!!……the race is on, who are you going to put your house on ?

  25. 46
    Mitch says:

    Victoria Cross hero Johnson Beharry revealed today he refused to shake Gordon Brown’s hand in protest at the PM’s ‘disrespect’ for the Armed Forces.

    The lance corporal said he turned round and walked off as the Premier offered his hand during a Remembrance Day service last November.

    L/Cpl Beharry told The Sun he was ‘absolutely furious’ at the way Mr Brown fidgeted and moved during the two-minute silence, adding: ‘All that was going through my head was to knock him out.


    • 56

      Give him another one !

    • 63
      Mr Ned says:

      I am glad that the true British Hero did NOT knock Brown out. Why? Well, look at what happened to Burlisconi’s popularity after he was attacked.

  26. 47
    peaceandunity says:

    Finally some steps in the right direction…

    Mr Ned. A lot of what you have to say is far and beyond the knowledge of your average man in the street. Can’t praise you enough though for what your doing.

  27. 49
    HUNG PARLIMENT - I'll get my noose says:

    At least Sky are starting to get on message, counteract the Beebs red propaganda

    • 67
      lolol says:

      I see that Albeeb is keeping on message by interviewing each other !.

      • 88
        Mr Ned says:

        They give equal time to each party and then double time to interviewing themselves, this giving labour three times the time of the others whilst abiding by the “equal time to each party” rule.

      • 174
        Welsh Watch says:

        Kinnochio this morning on with another Welshman Numph, what a pathetic interview it was, couldn’t decide who was the interviewer!!

    • 75
      Ratsniffer says:

      I wonder if Murdoch senses that change is in the air?

    • 79
      Eddie says:

      The trouble is the BBC provide most of the daily news to the vast majority of the public, around 75% of them at the last estimate. Other news agencies don’t come near them.
      When he gets into power Cameron wil have to break the stranglehold over the news that the BBC exerts or they will hound him to destruction.

      • 96
        Mr Ned says:

        Cameron will have the shortest “honeymoon” on record if the BBC have anything to do with it.

        They gave labour 3 years worth after their win in ’97 right up until the petrol strike.

        Although some could reasonably argue that they have given labour a 13 year honeymoon.

      • 120
        Ratsniffer says:

        Agreed. But the conservatives have been making very soothing noises towards the Beeb – obviously hoping that a charm offensive will win them around. What they are failing to realise is that the Beeb is institutionally leftist. In Beebland, left = good. They cannot stop themselves. This is an organisation in which the Guardian is the bible. It would take a purge of McArthyistic proportions to weedle out the reds, and that ain’t going to happen under Dave, who is mates with Polly.

        • 151
          The big D says:

          Let us hope that Mr Cameron has learned the old foreign office dictum: “No permanent enemies, no permanent friends”.

      • 349
        Henry's Afterthought says:

        Absolutely right, Eddie.

    • 80
      Kiss My Big Hairy Swingers says:

      Yes, I’d noticed that too.

    • 121
      boulay says:

      i am almost daring myself to listen to 5-live to see if i can listen to 2 minutes of people like darbyshire without throwing the radio out of the window!

  28. 52

    I can’t see the power mad Brown going to see Her Maj today
    i think he will have to be forced to go
    before he does anything

    • 61
      jgm2 says:

      Or if he does go it will be to set a date of 3rd June.

      I agree. It’s still all BBC speculation. I’ll believe it when I see it. Brown will want to spend every last possible moment playing at being king. He won’t want to do without a whole four weeks when he could be glad-handing some foreign visiotor or flying off for an important photo op with Obama or Merkel.

      And his missus will be a total no-mark on June 4th. No celebrity gala rubber-chicken photo-ops for her either.

      I just don’t see it. It is so completely out of character for Brown that I simply don’t see him calling an election earlier than he needs to. Particularly one where every opinion poll has him 10% behind. And I’d say they’re still being very generous.

      • 244
        A Pensioner says:

        I agree, totally out of character for Brown to go early. I think he’s been bounced into it – must be Mandy leaking to the Beeb.

    • 93
      Engineer says:

      News report in a couple of hours, “Mr Brown is now entering Buckingham Palace escorted, very closely, by three armed bodyguards. Indeed, they seem to be supporting, or carrying, him.”

      • 103
        Mr Ned says:


      • 172
        CuttingEdge says:

        Or maybe:

        “News report on May 7th: “Mr Brown is now exiting Buckingham Palace, wearing a straight jacket and escorted, very closely, by three men in white coats.”

        I’m looking forward to Election Night Special with more anticipation than the World Cup, and will treasure every “Portillo moment” courtesy of Balls and co – it wont make up for 13 years of these insidious bastards but boy it is going to be the highlight of the year.

        • 196
          Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

          Brown seen leaving Buckingham Palace.

          Queen seen on balcony, shouting, “Philip! Philip! My gold rings! My gold necklaces! Have you seen them? They were on one’s bedside cabinet 10 minutes ago! They were there, Philip, right there!”

      • 285
        Thats News says:

        Cold steel for Mr Brown!

  29. 58
    Nick says:

    The nightmare’s nearly over Sarah. Divorce lawyers at dawn (7 May) methinks.

    • 70
      bye bye Magda says:

      Sarah Brown aka Magda will soon be safely esconced with her ‘special friend’ in Canterbury, her public relations work for the Labour Party no longer needed.

  30. 62
    Al says:

    The end of this odious and damaging Brown/Labour govt also marks the end of the longest and most destructive house price bubble in UK history. Once these Labour lunatics are dead and buried the UK economy can start on the long road to something resembling normalcy.

    “UK house prices face prolonged bear market
    The housing market may now be trapped in a long-term bear market and may not bounce back to the peaks it reached in 2007 for generations, a leading economic consultancy has warned………”

  31. 73
    • 107
      Jon says:

      The debt-soaked housing market has been the driver of Brown’s bankrupt UK economy. With prices about to crash 40% or more and be in the doldrums for years, what else is left apart from years of austerity and IMF enforced penury?

      Generations of austerity = Brown’s legacy.

  32. 76
    Nick says:

    Just tried to start a petition on Number10 website to try and prevent Brown hanging his portrait on the walls of the staircase (this should only be permitted for real Prime Ministers – ie ones that have won a General Election) . Not possible:
    “E-petitions have been temporarily closed to new submissions during the Easter Parliamentary recess. Existing petitions can be signed in the ususal way.”
    What fucking difference does Easter make?
    Ooh , I wonder if they will be closed permanently now ?

    • 357
      Nick says:

      What did I tell you :
      During the official campaign period for the General Election the e-Petitions system will be closed to new submissions and signatures. The Government will also not issue reponses to petitions during this period. This is to ensure compliance with the requirements of the Civil Service Code on party political neutrality.

      Any petitions due to close between the announcement of the General Election and 3 June will have their deadlines extended to 3 June. Petitions will reopen for signatures upon the formation of the Government following the General Election.

      Thank you for your patience and understanding during this time.

      What the fuck do petitions have to do with impartiality?

  33. 81
    genghiz the kahn says:

    9.04 Al Beeb have headlines about Brown going to Palace, with picture of Cameron running in a Black Shirt.

    9.05. Al Beeb amend picture to show Houses of Parliament, after sharp eyed posters notice the subliminal message, vote Dave get Moseley.

  34. 83
    Wayne Rooney says:

    WTF. I thought I had a minor ankle injury and be back scoring in a few weeks.
    Didn’t f’ing realise I would be out till 2030 , who is that c*nt Brown? Never heard of him anyway. And he’s saying I’ll have savage cuts if Cameron gets in . WTF

    • 104
      jgm2 says:

      Aye. Cheeky cu*nt Brown comparing the economy to your ankle. The UK economy is more like Freddy Mercury’s arse. Fucked, riddled with AIDS and dead.

    • 261
      Alan Hansen says:

      Come on now Wayne, you and Brown both like punching women.

  35. 85
    lolol says:

    I see both Albeeb and Sky are pushing the Libdums into prominence,I wonder if they have been ordered to by the EUscum or is it just the Libdum’s turn to be in charge of the expenses budget.

  36. 89
    QWERTY says:

    Cameron on the way to the palace to form the next Government

    • 301
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Dave, fire up the Quattro and lets run these socialist muppets out of town.

  37. 91
    Broon says:

    Isn’t he likely to bottle it during the ride to Buck Palace?

    • 100
      white coat says:

      He’s very likely to shit himself despite all the largactil and beta blockers they’ve pumped him full of.

    • 116
      Engineer says:

      Brown, “I’m not going into that palace.”

      Bodyguard, “This Browning .38 says you are, sir.”

  38. 95
  39. 97
    I hate New Labour says:

    Goodbye you hateful one eyed b@st@rd.

  40. 105
    McGroom says:

    It will be interesting to see how many tax payer funded NuLiebore blog trolls disappear from this site now they are no longer being paid to be first and smear, lie and spout tractor stats.

    I bet bottler Brown keeps the Queen waiting, just like he has avoided to last possible moment to ask her subjects for his first mandate.

    Brown’s going down

    • 110
      bye bye Brown says:

      Brown’s “Instant Rebuttal Unit”, financed by taxpayers money, that has spread lies and smears about their opponents, has just four weeks left.

      Good riddance to McBride, Draper, and the rest of the sociopathic scum, and good riddance to Brown, the worst prime minister this country has ever had.

  41. 112
    Anonymous says:

    The next few weeks will get pretty tasty. Bruin is due a breakdown of some sort as slowly he realizes he’s not going to win.

    Will the current medication be enough? i think not

  42. 113
    Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean people aren't out to get me says:

    Why is the Sun describing Gordon as ‘exhausted’? And who exactly told the BBC that Gordon will go to the palace today? Did Gordon know? Did Mandy tell the BBC and is he now conspiring to force Gordon out before the election? Has he done a deal with Murdoch and with Postman Pat to stand as a caretaker leader in exchange for a peerage? And if so, how come Mandy has power over Gordon?
    OK forget it!

  43. 114
    Mitch says:

    Looks like brown is using the “rear” entrance………gay to the end.

  44. 115
    Trev says:

    At last – at least I will know if I have to emigrate after May 6

  45. 118
    Anonymous says:

    I am armed with me proplus and knuckle dusters. That Brown is such a liar.

  46. 119
    I Can't take any more of Gordon says:

    An Election !! I bet GB is looking forward to his first election and gaining a popular mandate to continue ruining the country.
    Fire up the Quattro Dave – I can’t take another 5 years of The Great Leader telling me that he is ” doing the right thing”, “That the recession started in America” , “That Britain is best placed to recover”

    The Great Leader will be ably supported by the “Toxic Trio”:-
    Harridan Harperson- I hate all men (apart from Highly Ranked Union Leaders)
    Lord Mandlebum – the sleazy socialist
    Ed Balls – I want to be chancellor -Make darling go away Gordy

    Wake me up on May 6th

  47. 124

    Dont renew your sky subscription at NO10
    Find out where your second home actually is
    dont expect any phone calls from well wishers
    never walk the streets alone
    ask your brother if he has any cleaning jobs going
    expect Sarah and the child to fuck off within a year
    dont keep large amounts of anti depressants in your new council house
    dont even think about getting a seat in the Lords

    • 129
      jgm2 says:

      Brown will go straight to the Lords. No outside business will want fuck all to do with him. Imagine that delusional, hectoring lunatic sitting there as a NED trying to tell you how to run your company after the total clusterfuck he made of the UK economy and everything else he turned his idiot attention to?

      Nope. Straight to the Lords like his idiot mate Lord Martin.

      • 152
        GOR-GONE BROWN says:

        who the fuck would be daft enough to nominate him ? it’s a total election loser
        and i dont think there is one MP that would “piss on him if he was on fire” he’s Gone!,Gone I Tell Yer !

      • 168
        Brown Hater says:

        Blair didn’t!

        What does that tell you?

      • 175
        Au Contrare! says:

        Au contrare! . . surely with all that skill ‘n stuff at neo-endogenous bollocks – a Hi-Flying Post at the World Bank, IMF, or some other institution beckons?

        • 201
          GORDHOON McBUST says:

          Fuckin world bank !
          They’ed come back from lunch and the fucking vault would be empty !

        • 312
          Axe The Telly Tax says:

          No company/organisation wants the curse of Jonah McDoom.

  48. 125
    lolol says:

    Just watching the Liebour scum cabinet going into 10 Drowning street,I suppose they are just going in to get their stories straight and sort out their expenses and compose an apology to the people of this country for the damage they and Brown shite have done or am I just thinking that’s the sort of thing decent people do and all we will get from this trash is two fingers and a bloody large tax demand for the next 30 years

  49. 126
    GOR-GONE BROWN says:

    Bye-Bye you fucking Retard

  50. 127
    boulay says:

    ok, wild imagination needed but…who would you prefer as next pm – hune or brown???

    i am amazed that i did not even have to debate it for a second – i would choose brown. brown has fcked up the country, is obsessed with the state and thinks he is a genius and is very probably mad but huhne really is the biggest most arrogant hoon in the world.

    i want the tory standing against him to continually nail him on his property empire and the fact that the mansion tax is conveniently aimed at a single property worth over £2m rather than total property.

    he really is the biggest twat in politics.

  51. 128
    Real Alternative says:

    “The Civil Service is now running the country…”

    Not true.

    Only the elected ministers are excluded from the ministries. The unelected ministers can continue to run their ministries. That means that the country is being run by… Lord Mandelson.

    • 176
      Yardarm says:

      By old convention peers play no part in elections, although this lot have no respect for such. For one month Mandelson will be extending his horrible tentacles all over Whitehall.

  52. 133
    H.M.Q says:

    Hello, Mr Brown. I see you’ve plucked up the courage to come and see me. So, you’ve grown a pair, at last, have you? Oh dear, Dinky my favourite corgi appears to have shit on you. Just like you’ve been doing to the country, really. Now, orf you go, you loser, and pull yourself together, one doesn’t like to see a grown man cry.

  53. 135
    Alastair Campbell says:

    Sobs! Where’s Mandy I need a hug?

  54. 137
    Tom Logan, Institute for Studies says:

    Vote Labour, get 5 more years of Balls



  55. 138
    GOR-GONE BROWN says:

    For the rest of your miserable existance on this planet
    you will forever be looking over your sholder
    for a whole generation of pensioners who will want to cause you serious harm for what you, and you alone did to their pensions
    you utter piece of shit !
    now go away and die !

  56. 139
    shocking says:

    Brown looks drugged up to the eyeballs and appears to be be being propped up by security guards as he leaves Downing St. Has he cracked up and had to be sedated to get him to the palace?

    • 147
      LOL says:

      Brown looks completely fucked-up. They were almost carrying him to the car.

      • 173
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Brown goes to Palace.

        Fans at Selhurst Park burn season tickets in protest.

        • 335
          Arthur Waite says:

          The Eagles have had enough bad luck without that Cu*t turning up.
          Piss off Brown ya bastard.

  57. 145
    Refugee from a wrecked England says:

    Gordon Brown today asked the Queen to dissolve Parliament.

    Later, a Palace Spokesman denied that the Queen had said “Thank Fuck”.

    • 204
      Sir William Waad says:

      Give me a megalitre of concentrated nitric acid, Your Majesty, and I will dissolve Parliament for you.

  58. 146
    Tricky Dicky says:

    The Labour Party is so full of dirty tricks the magical circle is envious.

  59. 150
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Brown has now been slapped 2.39 million times. But come election day we will slap him for good! Get on over to Slapometer and slap him a bit more.

    As Mr Ned said, “Keep it up. Let’s see if we can give him 10,000,000 slaps before the debates even start.”

    (Slap him on the way to Buckingham Palace: http://www.slapometer.com/ )

  60. 153
    Downing Tweet says:

    No10: PM to attend landmark Cabinet at 0915. Media gathering in Downing St for big day.

  61. 155
    Centre Parting says:

    I hope Gordon doesn’t have the indignity of being turned away at a bed and breakfast.

  62. 161
    werkin class hero says:

    Oh I’m bored with all this election stuff – when’s the world cup on?

    • 184
      QWERTY says:

      Fuck the World Cup I wanna see tourists torn apart live on TV in south Africa, be really funny.

  63. 163
    Private Sponge says:

    A vote for Clegg and the Limp Dims is a vote for Labour

  64. 164
    The Unelected Organ Grinder, referring to 'his' Unelected Monkey says:

    Time to let ‘him’ go!

  65. 165
  66. 177
    iain says:

    Stop Gove doing that oh-so-intelligent hmmmm grunty thing he does when interviewers ask him a question. It gets on my wick.

  67. 180
    QWERTY says:

    The Faggot that runs the Daily Mirror is on BBC News right now, what a fucking camp queen.

  68. 188
    Mitch says:

    Lavender tie……..poofter alert and a possible hint about a certain list.

  69. 188


  70. 191
    Ed Balls, Corgi Registered says:

    So Sir Humphrey is running the country now, and not the gang of maladroit, spendaholic, lying, bullying, Socialistic scum?

  71. 193
    Mitch says:

    Wonder if there is a bucket near the door for his half eaten bogeys ?

  72. 195
    Down Periscope says:

    The Five Live bunch are tossers…. Pinnar saying the election is to close to call…….BBC Tossers!

    • 203
      QWERTY says:

      Pinhead is a Labour supporter, he’s never hidden it as is Nicky Campbell who has helped raise money for Liebour.

    • 207
      Ed Balls, Corgi Registered says:

      Five Live is a Labour Party broadcasting station, populated by smug, sneering, second raters, has-beens, and never will bes.
      But without question the likes of fat pig Celt Stephen Nolan, and smug Labour luvvie Celt Campbell, will be bigging up Labour whenever they can.

  73. 198
    Homeless Humphrey says:

    Meow I am nearly home Meow.

  74. 202
    Yardarm says:

    So the old Queen finally goes to the Palace and Elizabeth II is there as well.

    Difficult to believe he`ll finally announce an election: this must be the worst day of his life although May 7th will top this one.

    Mr JGM2 can be forgiven his scepticism; I wouldn`t be entitrely suprised that Brown emerges saying that owing to a terrorist threat and the state of the economy the Civil Contingencies Act is invoked, all elections are suspended and he is assuming the title of Lord Protector.

  75. 205
    genghiz the kahn says:

    More crap about hung Parliaments, Call Me Dave only 10% ahead, so we are in uncharted territory.

    Thick Nobinson claiming Brown is going to make personal appeal…

  76. 206
    lolol says:

    I wonder if plod will have a great time when Brownshite has finished at the Palace with the don’t you know who I am officer,ex mp now nobodies having made laws to suit themselves now the same laws being used on them.

  77. 208

    Vote New Labour – Securing the recovery

    Faced with a global recession and the worst financial crisis in 60 years, Britain was not prepared to let the recession take its course – and neither were we.

    We chose to fight back with bold action to protect homes, jobs and businesses.

    The action we took together cost money, but it is working – the rate of unemployment, business failures and home repossessions have been a lot lower than in the Tory recession of the 1990s.

    Now we must build our economic future, using the potential of all British people, not just a few.

    It would be a huge mistake to cut support while the economy is still recovering.

    Are the Tories a change you can afford?

    The Conservative plan for immediate cuts would choke off the recovery – leading to a decade of low growth and austerity.

    The Tories have shown where their real priorities lie by committing to an inheritance tax cut which would give £200,000 to each of the 3,000 richest estates in the country.

    • 219
      lolol says:

      Don’t you mean a future fair for all Liebour mp’s and hangers on and a shite future for the plebs.

    • 224
      Ted Bundy says:

      Thank you Lord Haw Haw, sadly your time is now up so kindly Fuck Off.

    • 243

      ‘Are the Tories a change you can afford?


      BTW, getting scared, you must be if you’re posting desperate crap like that.

      You’re all fucked, suck it up.

    • 247
      weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee says:

      You still here ? well good luck to you and your puppet masters! you will need it loser
      oh and stop repasting your old posts as it’s a bit lazy isn’t it ?

    • 248
      Bye, bye Labour says:

      Not much passion in your trolling is there?
      Just the same old rubish and tractor stats.
      You broke the country, go on admit it.

      • 262

        If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

        The blogosphere is a key battleground in this campaign. New Labour believes that if we can get our message and arguments out to the internet generation, we can defeat the Tories on their home patch.

        • 286
          Bye, bye Labour says:

          Dream on troll.
          Your message is garbage.

        • 337
          City Drunj says:

          You’re all bushy tailed this morning for a boring, out of
          touch moron. Better call the samaritans before reality catches up with you.

        • 346
          Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

          After years of shite from ZaNu central this is your last hurrah Troll-Boy. Soon they won’t even be able to pay you the minimum wage and soon after that the Labour party will split into a million little pieces.

          May 7th –get your cards and P45

    • 255
      Trick Cyclist says:

      Nurse! Medication required. Patient is delusional again.

    • 345
      Madme Defarge says:

      Eat shit and die…fast!

  78. 210
    McGroom says:

    I hope the returning officer for the Morley and Outwood constituency conducts a full authenticity review of all the postal votes whist preserving the DNA evidence on the forms (i.e. all counting officers should wear gloves)

    Any irregularities should be throughly investigated by the police and harsh sentences handed out to those found guilty of subverting the electoral process.

    Labour marginals should bear the closest scruntiny as they have the most form for this type of fraud.

    • 252
      Union Rep says:

      We will ensure that our members who are brought in to assist with the counting make sure that the right kind of votes are properly counted.

  79. 215
    QWERTY says:

    fucking Toenails on News 24 keeps going on about theone eyed jock homosexual getting ‘credit’ for the economy. Fuck off you four eyed queer Toenails, the mong created this mess you fucking arsehole.

    Toenails sounds like he’s reading a statement from Nu Liebour.

    • 333
      Dusty Miller says:

      Of course he’s getting credit for the economy – £187 billion and counting.

  80. 217

    Vote New Labour – new industries, future jobs

    Following the global economic downturn, we know that the economy needs to be re-balanced.

    As the world changes we will need to compete in new sectors which will grow rapidly in the years ahead.

    Labour will support industries where we have key technology strengths such as advanced manufacturing, low carbon, life sciences and the creative and digital industries to create jobs and opportunities for British industry.

    The move to a low-carbon economy will require us to change the way we produce goods, heat our homes and use transport.

    This offers Britain the opportunity to create high-quality jobs as we manufacture and export new products to the rest of the world.

    We believe there is an active role for government to ensure that UK manufacturing succeeds in the future.

    The Strategic Investment Fund, worth £950 million, is already providing investment in advanced industrial projects.

    We need to build on this success.

    Are the Tories a change you can afford?

    The Tories would put under threat the thousands of new green jobs we are helping to create.

    It is clear that the Tories have not changed their priorities – they are a party of climate change sceptics, as shown by the opposition of senior Tory MPs to new wind power.

    • 221
      QWERTY says:

      Fuck off you bummer.

    • 225
      lolol says:

      What industries what jobs,Liebour no change jobs for the boys the plebs can f*ck off after they have voted.

      • 233
        Down with Brown! says:

        Book your therapy for May 8th because all you lefties have a big beating coming your way. There is no escaping the day of reckoning!

    • 246
      Ratsniffer says:

      Nore cut and paste rubbish from a party which knows it is utterly and totally finished.

    • 250

      It is clear that the Tories have not changed their priorities – they are a party of climate change sceptics,

      They’ve got my vote.

      • 257

        Why, don’t you believe in science? Don’t you care about our children’s future and saving the planet?

        • 294

          Yes i do believe in science – no i don’t believe in AGW.

          Simple enough for you, i think you’ll find that the rest of the world is waking up to your pathetic left wing agenda.

          You have been sussed fucker, pack your bags and fucking do one.

        • 297
          Engineer says:

          Some of us understand a bit about science because we apply it for a living. The “climate change” scam is a perversion of good science. You really shouldn’t believe everything you read in the Guardian.

        • 300
          lolol says:

          You shite’s haven’t cared about the kid’s future you have saddled them for the rest of their lives in debt you lot created,f*ck saving the planet it will save itself not from stealing money in taxes so you and your mates can swan around the world flying to climate change tax paid junkets while us plebs are forced to use cycles as you put petrol taxes up so much.

    • 256
      Engineer says:

      “….the opposition of senior Tory MPs to new wind power.”

      They show some sense, then.

    • 260
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Hey, numptey get your place booked in the dole queue. All the best jobs like cleaning the shithouses and sewers will be snapped up so don’t loose out, your party owes you one.

    • 266
      Churchill the Dog says:

      “Are the Tories a change you can afford?”

      Oooooooohhhhhh Yeeeeeesss!

    • 270
      Rip Van Winkle says:

      Do you really think this shit changes posters minds? Really? Do you? Are you that fucking moronic? More claptrap from a disgusting and vitriolic socilaist Government that couldn’t run a whelk stall.

    • 291
      Bye, bye Labour says:

      It’s hard work cutting & pasting all that rubbish, so give up.
      This is a Tory blog look at the top of the page dumbo.

  81. 218
    They're All At It says:

    Dicksplash Wheelan is now on Beeb. Good to see they’re keeping a balance.

    • 223
      They're All At It says:

      Wheelan losing it a little – “don’t you point at me….” – what an incompetent arrogant fecker…

  82. 227
    Down with Brown! says:

    About fucking time.

  83. 228
    Mitch says:

    Well gordon starts today what the rest of his life will be like……..Sneaking out in the back of a car to visit queens.

  84. 233
    Vote Vote Vote for Jacqui. says:

    I would like to take this oppurtunity of wishing JacquiSixBellies all
    that she deserves in the Redditch election,if she is reselected that is.
    I would love to know how many times she has squeezed her fat arse into her sisters bedroom in Peckham since her expenses came under such severe scutiny.
    I hope she gets exactly what she deserves.

    • 327
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      She probably will a seat in the Lords. The good people of Redditch will send her packing and Gordon will of course reward his loyal twat.

  85. 235
    HM Queen Elizabeth says:

    He has told me that my country is in good shape, that my people’s morale is extremely high as they are all enjoying an unprecedented high standard of living thanks to his intelligent management of the economy. As he left he said he is looking forward to forming my next government and getting on with his job.

    I don’t know what my people think, but I think he is a lying c*nt and I look forward to having him as my guest in the Tower Of London and chopping of his ugly head.

  86. 237
    They're All At It says:

    He really has a face that you want to punch

  87. 238
    Dick Robinson says:


    Let’s kick that bastard Brown out!

  88. 239
    .243 Win says:

    Pravda already spinning the line that his operation is “the counterpoint to Ashcroft”. Feckin’ weasels.

    This one’s going to get very messy….

  89. 240
    Dead Old News Aggregator says:

    What’s a scoop ?

  90. 249
    Sophie Fernandes says:

    From the BBC: 1018 On his Twitter feed, Gordon Brown’s special adviser Justin Forsyth says the prime minister is looking “calm and determined” and is “making us all laugh”.

    A well thought out twitter about how the PM is making us all laugh don’t you think…

    • 263
      CuttingEdge says:

      Probably making them all laugh with his delusions of getting elected (for the first time) on May 6th.

    • 277
      Trick Cyclist says:

      He’s making them laugh alright, but for the wrong reasons. He’s touretting, twitching, and munching bogeys. Every nervous tic he ever had is in overdrive.

    • 328
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      Come May 7th he will not be laughing!!!

  91. 253
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    During the time most, if any at all, will be tuneing in to hear and see the end of this parliment BBC news 24, the left have been interviewing in this order: man from daily mirror, nick robinson, wheelan and now guardian man. Err impartial anyone?

  92. 258
    Rip Van Winkle says:

    Heard on one news outlet this morning that, at the last election, the Tories actually polled higher than Labour in terms of actual votes in England. Nobody, absolutely nobody, could possibly believe that Labour will poll higher this time than in 2005. So the chances are that the Tories will be by far the biggest party in England in terms of actual votes.

    But, if the Scots and Welsh vote as they normally do (my Dad voted Labour so I must too, i.e. I haven’t got a brain), and there is a hung Parliament and a subsequent Lib/Lab coalition Government, what of the ‘Wset Lothian’ question?

    It will blow up in their faces. Someone, somewhere MUST actually face this question. Or they’ll be ongoing trouble and democracy in England will be shot to pieces.

    • 283
      Voting Floater says:

      This is what Blair meant when he said “destroy the forces of conservatism”: ie rig the system against them.

    • 287
      nell says:

      ‘democracy in England will be shot to pieces’? Under this most authoritarian government ever , isn’t it already shot to pieces?

    • 350
      They're All At It says:

      I think this time around, many Scots will choose not to vote Liebour – too pissed off. They certainly wont vote Tory, more likely to go for SNP. Which is absolutely fine by me.

    • 371
      Jimmy Wales says:

      The average Labour vote in England declined by approximately 7% and by varying amounts in every English Region, but with sharp variations locally.

  93. 267
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, you’ve allowed another typo to creep into the phrase “The Civil Service are now ruining the country”.

  94. 269
    My evil twin says:

    I’m voting Brown! Nurse! Nurse! The voices have come back!

  95. 271
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    Good grief , McMental turns it in and we have the first warm day of the year, sunshine and no icey biting wind
    A long balmy summer is guaranteed

    • 275
      lolol says:

      It may be nice where you are but it’s f*cking cold oop north mr Beast.

      • 351
        The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

        McMental must be flying over your neck of the woods to his constiuency and preparing for oblivion
        The curse has returned to where it belongs, Scotchland
        Plagues of midges, foul weather and shite food.
        If the place is so good why does every Jock who owns a pair of trousers and enough dole money for a train ticket move to England?

  96. 273


    • 372
      Jacqueline Jill Smith says:

      I object to Jacqueline Jill Smith being referred to as a little piggy! (Clearly 5 bellies makes you a large piggi)

  97. 276
    nell says:

    Wow! gutlessgordon has actually gone and done it! I didn’t believe he would .

    Then I see whelan was dominating the news coverage on Sky this morning at about the same time as gordon went to the Palace. Sky introduced him as gordon brown’s spin doctor – funny I thought he worked for Unite. Or perhaps it is that gordon brown works for Unite hence whelan’s pr role.

  98. 278
    Francis Futurama says:

    Stop Press: Brown’s car in palace trip u-turn as unexpectd terror incident casts dobt on election date.

    • 284
      Down with Brown! says:

      Brown’s car got lost.

      • 292
        Francis Futurama says:

        Driver sacked after furious Brown admits “He got us lost on the way to the palace and we were to late to see the Queen. This is devastating for me personally as the election will now, as a consequence, be delayed for at least three years.

  99. 282
    Down with Brown! says:

    Vote for change, vote for a better Britain, vote Conservative!

    • 334
      Brown's a Tosser says:

      X there is mine. Let trust there is enough like minded individuals that follow.

  100. 295
    Cynic says:

    “Its off”

    It’s been off for a long time now judging by the smell

  101. 309
    Mandelson says:

    Excellent speech by Cameron

  102. 311
    lolol says:

    Oh yes the bastard has done it

  103. 314
    Dick Robinson says:

    He’s asking for a mandate (only cause he needs one now)

  104. 317
    lolol says:

    My answer to his speech is f*ck off you lieing bastard 12 years and we are now a third world country,the sooner you pack up and leave with your forty thieves plus the better.

    • 330
      QWERTY says:

      Well said, fuck off back to Scotland you one eyed gay jock mong.

    • 353
      ShoutsAtTheTV says:

      Yeah.. But I kinda want the ‘limited liability’ to be wavered in his case. Strip him of all his assets..

      It won’t pay settle, for example, the Gold-Selling deficit, but it’ll make everybody else smile

  105. 331
    I hate New Labour says:

    Love this bit of comedy from perma tanned f*ckwit Hain: Hain said Tories were “not being straight with people” and “their sums do not add up”, describing an “old Tory party of cuts and right-wing policies”.

    Guess what champagne socialist, this country *needs* cuts and right wing policies. Or do you think tax, spend and failed lefty policies will get us of this mess?


    • 344
      South of the M4 says:

      Hain saying ” their sums don’t add up”. Hhhmm. The man who stepped down to clear his name because his ‘ sums did not add up ‘. And the man who stepped back up again without, err, actually clearing his name. The man is trash of the worst kind and no man of the people. Wales deserves better. Portillo moment No 5 perhaps.

    • 373
      Jack straw says:

      Arithmetic is not one of our strong points

  106. 338
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Brown no real change just more of the same. Cameron not pehaps your first choice but positive and believable. He may just blossom into a very good PM and lets face it Brown has not set the bar very high.

  107. 341
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    I do not believe we are out of recession. OK 0.1% GDP signals + but in the real world where we all live, in the High Street and your place of work we are still in a world of hurt.

  108. 343
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Brown: Must be the biggest liability to NuLabour. He is reviled by most people I talk to and to say he is unpopuilar is an understatement. So with him as leader they are going into battle with young Mike Tyson with one hand tied behind their back. There going to lose its just about by how many and lets hope its by a landslide because that is what they deserve.

  109. 352
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Actually not til Monday.

  110. 355
    Sarah Browns lavender list says:

    Ben Bradshaw
    Stephen Twigg
    Gerald Kaufman
    Alan Duncan
    Chris Bryant
    Peter Mandelson( my fave)
    Frank Field

    I am a beard for hire , sort of like a Cab
    Will one of the above be my new hero?

    (Gordon the legal papers are in the post)

  111. 364
    Life long Conservative voter says:

    Anyone care to take a punt on the Jockanese Jabberwocky suddenly being suddenly struck down with Green Monkey Disease or some other disease equally as obscure?

    There is absoulutely no way that Mandelslime and Blinky Bollacks would dare allow our unelected PM him to face the electorate.

    A sweet ending to years of disgusting Spin, Sleaze and Lies, Lies and even bigger lies.

    A total wipeout beckons!! Sweet so Sweet. RULE BRITANNIA

  112. 370
    Norman says:

    from now untill the 6th of may we are putting iron man traps on our bell button and a live stun grenade on the garden gate. who gets my vote? none of them i will simply write on the paper none of the above. am i wrong i dont bloody think so.

  113. 374
    Paul Fald says:

    I think I might just vote for Vince and Nick, I don’t want multi-millionaire former public school boys running the country or attempting to have a crack at UK plc, a wise and steady hand is required, that is why Vince must be the next Chancellor.

    So please vote for the Liberal party !


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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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