March 31st, 2010

Baldemort Butters Up Blog

Despite the site coining “Baldemort” as his charming nickname, it seems that the neo-Thatcherite cabinet minister Liam Byrne is a closet Guido fan.  He said at the despatch box yesterday:

“As I was casually looking at my favourite new blog,, I was surprised to read that at Tory central office the shadow Chancellor’s desk is now listed as ‘George Osborne/Hotdesk’.  Are they trying to send him a message?”

So both Dave and Liam have used Guido’s lines in the Commons in the last couple of weeks. Maybe it’s time to go behind a pay-wall.


  1. 1

    We’re all reading Guido together.


    • 6
      PM says:

      Goldrush! All baldemort domains are available for purchase!!


    • 22
      Impromptu Question Time says:

      I’m pleased Mr Byrne is watching, I’d like to ask him a simple question – Why are you such a complete twat?


      • 26
        Whilst you're here Liam says:

        Is it true Madonna wants to adopt Keith Vaz?


        • 76
          Disaffected says:

          I suspect she would try to bring him to be honest, know right from wrong etc. On reflection, it’s too late. He is a lost cause. He was one fo the biggest expense fiddlers who lived near parliament and felt it necessary to scounge so much on his property development. I think he is good to endorse a passport or five, so Madona could look to him for any illegal entrants. Vote Vaz out. he is another who tries to be important; debating on issues which have a moral basis when he has no authrity for doing so. He is another low life of parliament.


    • 48
      Emigrant says:

      These saw it in the 60’s. I’m off.


  2. 2
    Delbert Wilkins says:

    At least you got a credit this time.


    • 14
      Al Megrahi,s Doctor says:

      About bloody time! “The Bastard love-child of Kelvin Mcenzie and Popbitch” has come a long way! Excellent!!


    • 47
      lolol says:

      unlike ‘The Thick of It’ that coined the phrase


      • 58
        RAM says:

        Yep you’re really coining it in with the big stories Guido – how many scoops is that now? You got the one about the seating arrangement in CCHQ, Brown’s gold fuck up (I’m amazed all the mainstreamers missed that little faux pas) and of course the recycled Baldemort line. Bravo Guido bravo I’m just glad you haven’t fallen for your own hype yet.


        • 65
          Anon says:

          And yet and yet you visit this place to comment on hype.
          From the sublime to the ridiculous, and you, ram, are completely ridiculous.
          You cretinous oaf.


          • RAM says:

            I come here because it’s a bit of a laugh – its the the people that think guido is actually doing anything more than this that I find amusing, cretinous oaf that I am.


          • thick as thieves says:



  3. 3
    T N Toluene says:

    blast all previous posters


  4. 4
    Catflap says:

    The cONSERVATIVES can eat shit and die as far as i’m concerned until they get rid of Camercu*t and become the Conservatives with a big C.


    • 8
      Back to 1960 says:

      I agree. He is too polished,not like the usual purple faced farmer type I’m used to.


    • 12
      Wanted Information says:

      Who are the Conservatives. I have never heard of them


      • 16
        hang um high says:

        well if they dont win a majority we as a country will be fucked because the big man Brown says immigration is not a threat.ffs


        • 21
          Dobby says:

          We is done for either way boss. It started with Thatcher and has ended with Broon. Last one out turn off the lights.


        • 37
          Anonymous says:

          Do you know Dave’s policy on immigration?
          God help us.


          • wake me up when its over says:

            well Howard one but he got fucked as a racist not like our great leader
            who says everthings ok i Gordon will sort out any problems FFS 13 years on.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz


    • 42
      Old Tory says:

      … and just please their core vote, I wonder who they are nowadays?

      Pensioners,Thatcher tied pensions to RPI.
      Home owners, fat profits under Brown.
      Mortgage payers, low rates under Brown.
      Civil servants, lots of jobs.
      Benefit claimants.

      I have worked through all the recessions in the UK since Wilson’s “back britain” all of them were painful as we worked through them. Remember the BBC news “job loses” charts of the 80s.
      Yet this one “the mother of all recessions” has been painless for 99% of people, not only that with low interest rates a lot are better off!!

      Either Mr Brown is very clever or there is a fucking great tsunami around the corner. Have we paid for the dot com bust yet?

      The more people are told how dreadful this recession has been, and they don’t feel it, the less likely they are going to vote Tory, especially a right wing one!!


      • 52
        Blue Skies and ice cream for all says:

        how bad is the what?


      • 70
        Catflap says:

        Old Tory:
        That is the only reason I can think of, that there is an unseen Tory hand letting Cameron make a pigs ear of the election because the shit storm tsunami ahead will be so bad, it will destroy any sitting Government.


      • 71
        Lifeguard says:

        This is the part where the tide goes out… further than it ever has before.


  5. 5
    Clarence says:

    I never read Guido. In fact, I have never visited his site.


  6. 7

    I hope this transvestite isn’t looking on this site using taxpayers money.


  7. 9
    mitch says:

    I fear if you did the pay wall thing your readership would evaporate like the Times and the gruniad will soon discover. Keep it free with adverts. The internet is best when its free.


    • 11
      The BBC says:

      We agree, our website is free of anything positive regarding the tories.


      • 13
        Pre Orwell says:

        pre 1984 the internet was free without ads


      • 32
        Dobby says:

        Old Toenails had a pop at Bliar on the telly last night. Perhaps it was to shut up all the bleating Tory trolls who go on ad nausuem about anti tory bias.
        FFS shut up!


        • 45
          Mr Ned says:

          Toenails is up Brown’s arse so far that you can only see his toenails hence his nickname. Brown who has admitted that there were blazing rows between him and Blair.

          The Bias is massively in favour of Brown’s labour party, not Blair’s. Even the braindead labour supporters saw through Blair’s naked betrayal of this Nation and her people. So Blair was no longer any use as a puppet of the new world order in any democratic system, so he has been moved onto other tasks and the BBC has moved on to keep a massive bias towards Brown’s labour party.


    • 28
      The IMF is coming says:

      “Domino’s Pizza reported a growth in year-on-year profits as online sales jumped 73.7%.The company said e-commerce continues to drive the business as sales climbed to £55.9m, compared with £32.2m in 2007, representing 23.3% of delivered sales.”

      Perhaps Guido has made a slice from Domino’s click through ads?


  8. 19
    Gunter says:

    Derweil ich eben lad


  9. 20
    Carry On Don't Lose Your Head (1967) says:

    Did he actually say ‘order dash order dot com’? That’s a plug you don’t get every day.


  10. 23
    cynic says:

    Isn’t it a measure of how desperate labour are that Baldemort is playing so prominent a role in their publicity machine

    This must be an ‘Anyone But Gordon’ Strategy and they are so deluded they see Byrne as a vote winner!


  11. 24
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I have it on very good authority that on one occasion prior to being served his morning Cappuccino, the cup had a liberal wipe round with a member of staff’s cock. Obviously well thought of by his staff.


  12. 25
    Hoon MacHoon Chief Hoon of Clan MacHoon principal Hoons of hereaboots and a liitle beyond! says:

    What about Lord Ashcroft. its disgraceful a whole 24 hours have passed without the beeb bleating on, or Nick Robinson blogging about him must be some kind of record! F*** all these non stories can we just have the election now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!there ive finished.


  13. 30
    wake me up when its over says:

    election ,ffs if he looses hell still be PM,what world are we in.


  14. 34
    The Dirty Rat says:

    New Labour.

    The Chuff Nuts on the UK’s arse.


  15. 44
    R.McGeddon says:

    Dear Baldymort,

    Whilst you are reading inside the Treasury, would you mind just emailing this to everyone on your distribution list ?? Please feel free to print off a few thousand copies and hand them out to your erstwhile constituents. Thanks in advance, the next cappuccino is on me yours, etc etc…….

    Gordon, oh Gordon you’ve taken us for fools.
    You lied about Prudence and your ‘Golden Rules’.
    You plundered our pensions and decimated our savings,
    We’re fed up of listening to your ‘global’ ravings.
    B£iar claimed you’re a genius; he lied to us too.
    The ‘British’ economy is in deep doggy-doo.
    ‘No BOOMS, NO BUSTS !’ you used to shout out.
    That was all hubris, of that there’s no doubt.

    You bang on and on about your Presbyterian daddy,
    Born a son of the manse and raised in Kircaldy.
    Now how would he regard you, with disgust or with pride ?
    Having watched you for years as you stood there and lied ?
    You’ve ruined this country, we’ve become a basket case.
    Moody’s and the others plan to remove our triple A’s
    Yet you’re still in denial, saying we’re ‘uniquely placed’
    Have a long look in the mirror, your reflection is two-faced !

    I watched you a while back on the Andrew Marr prog,
    The look on your face was unusually hang-dog
    You said you’d prepared a ‘Decade of Shared Prosperity’.
    I think you’re deluded-it’d be more Marxist Austerity !
    You bored me to tears with your grandiloquent prolixity,
    A dull raft of statistics in a broadcast of mendacity.
    Then you told us that yours is the Party of aspiration!
    You’re clutching at straws, man; that’s total desperation !

    In the early days of 2010 a few chumps tried to shaft you
    I’ve got the strangest feeling that this wont be the last coup.
    Yet once again the Dark Lord came riding to your rescue.
    The public all think you should be end up like Ceacescu.
    You’re ‘getting on with the job’ of rebuilding the economy,
    Stop trotting out these phrases with predictable monotony.
    You’re sending us to sleep trying to explain your ideology.
    The only thing we’re interested in is the action of psephology!


    • 49
      Who ate all the Pies ? says:

      Who ate all the Pies ?
      Who ate all the Pies ?
      you fat bastard, you fat bastard
      You ate all the Pies


    • 55
      Psephology for all says:

      The one thing that will get the Tories out in droves is the thought of Brown leading a hung parliament having lost the popular vote. I’m sure the military might be watching carefully too, they are Tory you know. I think it will be the naughty step for Gay Gordon and his band of rear end socialy engineered misfits.


  16. 51
    The Sleeper says:

    Hi Liam….

    Tell your Boss he’s fuckin’ toast…to be served up early in the morning of May 7th….please.

    There..I feel better for that.


  17. 53
    Hang The Bastards says:

    If you are reading this Liam Byrne then I hope you fucking die of a stroke.

    You are a lying spinning bastards that nobody trusts. Full of your self importance but hated beyond your most feared dreams.

    Get your P45 soon.

    Yours sincerely
    Abigail (Aged 6)


  18. 56
    Hughes. says:

    If you went behind a pay-wall they’d just put the subs on expenses.


  19. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps they should have their internet cutoff for copyright infringement


  20. 64
    Liam says:

    I’d love to come and play but Gordon needs me to stay in and drink a really frothy cappucino he’s made for me, he’s been going in and out of the toilet all day to make it and it has made his hand all sticky. Also if I’m good Uncle Peter says he’ll give me some sweets and show me his puppy.


    • 67
      Uncle Peter says:

      Liam, would’nt you like to stroke my puppy and watch it grow? Go on, before Uncle Gordon comes back all breathless.


  21. 66
    Honest Joe Public says:

    Liam Byrne visits this blog?

    Well here’s a message for you Liam old sport:

    Fuck off you lying bald c’unt. You know you’re a lying bald c’unt and you know that we know. So cut out your smiley smarmy tv appearances you’re pulling the wool over absolutely nobody’s fucking eyes


  22. 69
    Thats News says:

    Christ! If this is his favourite blog, Labourlust (sic) must be pretty peeved!

    Mind you, Guido, just shows how influential you are.


  23. 75
    Trenchard's-Brat says:

    I feel guilty at enjoying this high kulture. I am sure Mcburnin’ would enjoy a lee enfield inserted butt first. Then drop him on his EU from a great height.
    Vote UKIP!!


  24. 80
    Ampers says:

    Paywall? Don’t do it Rupert… :-)


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,647 other followers