Monday, March 29, 2010

Spin Room Verdict

Dull with no big thrills or spills. Maybe it won’t be the TV debates that decide. The consensus tomorrow will be that Cable benefitted the most…

The Chancellors Debate – via Twitter

The People’s Oink Protest Tomorrow!

Tomorrow morning Chaytor, Morely and Devine will be having their first day in Court as defendants.  If you are in London at 10 a.m. tomorrow you can join the many who will be letting them know exactly how we feel about them with a collective oink.  More details here.

New Labour Poster


Last week Liam Byrne confirmed that a re-elected Labour government would have to make bigger public spending cuts than even Margaret Thatcher did.

This week wee Douglas Alexander, Labour’s election campaign co-ordinator, writes: “Labour has called on its growing number of online supporters to lend their creative talents to designing the Party’s next campaign poster.”

Labour’s netroots have gone into Photoshop overdrive using the hashtag #peopleposters. Ever willing to be helpful, Guido put two and two together to illustrate a bit of political cross-dressing.

Simpson’s Socialist Shenanigans

When he’s not frequenting sex bars in Bangkok or organising crippling strikes closer to home, Derek Simpson has been harassing candidates about their support for his socialist dream state Cuba:

Derek Simpson
Joint General Secretary
Unite
35 King Street
London WC2E 8JG

29th March 2010

Dear ███████████████,

███████████████████

As the Joint General Secretary of Unite, a trade union with almost 2 million members I am contacting Prospective Parliamentary Candidates to hear their views on Cuba.

If elected as an MP would you support better relations between the UK and Cuba?

As you will be aware the United Nations voted last year, for the 18th consecutive time, to condemn the United States blockade of Cuba. The United Nations voted by 187-3, with the UK Government voting to end the blockade. It has been estimated that the blockade has cost the Cuban economy at least $98 billion over 50 years.

In the 2008/09 Parliamentary session 248 MPs signed Early Day Motion – 1171 calling for better relations with Cuba. The signatories to this Motion came from the Labour Party, Conservative Party, Liberal Democrats, Scottish National Party, Plaid Cymru, SDLP, DUP, Respect and independents.

The UK has much to gain from better relations with Cuba. Not least in terms of trade which will benefit the UK economy, but also in sporting and cultural links. My members, who are voters in every constituency in the UK, would like to hear your views on Cuba. Specifically I would like to ask you this one question.

If elected as an MP would you support better relations between the UK and Cuba?

Kind regards,

Derek Simpson

Joint General Secretary – Unite

Whenever you hear Unite suggest they are not a radical or dangerous left-wing organisation just remember who their bedfellows are.

The Fall of Vince Fable

The long overdue unravelling of “economic-guru” Vince Cable couldn’t have come at a more awkward time for the brazen soothsayer. On the morning of the C4 News debate he has been forced to issue a humiliating apology directly to the Treasury permanent secretary Sir Nicholas McPherson after claiming the had been in unprecedented talks with him and he was ready to serve. Guido called out old Vince out pretty quickly last week.

Expect Osborne to allude to it tonight…

Guy News : Politicians For Whore

IPSA MPs’ Expenses Reform : Keep it in the Family

Guido is just digesting the reforms announced:

Good

End to first class travel, only standard class to be reimbursed.
MPs can no longer buy taxpayer-funded second homes.

Bad

MPs will still be allowed to employ husbands, wives, mistresses and kids.

Updates:

Good

The number of MPs unable to claim any accommodation allowance has gone up from 25 to 128. These 128 MPs are now, like normal people, deemed to live within commuting distance of Westminster.

MPs are specifically banned from buying goods and services from family members or business partners, whereas before they were only instructed to “consult the Fees Office.”

Any airmiles earned (or similar bonuses) must be used for parliamentary purposes, not personal benefit.

Members have until August 2012 to get rid of mortgages.

Bad

Any family members current employed are allowed to continue until in their jobs “until the date when the party in question ceases to be employed or otherwise to provide staffing assistance.” It does not specify whether this means at the General Election.

Caption Contest Winner

Friday’s caption contest had a prize and it was won, at the insistence of Emily Nomates, by Groucho.  If you email your postal address to Guido a copy of How to Cut Public Spending: (and Still Win an Election) will be sent to you.  This is not a precedent…

What Would Kelvin Do?

Guido thinks the Tories are wise to take advantage of their most obvious selling point – Gordon. Aside from taking lines straight from Guido and switching back to Saatchi for their ads, what else might have changed?

A co-conspirator sends in this snap taken at the bus stop straight outside CCHQ on Millbank. Looks like a little something of the great Kelvin MacKenzie’s je ne sais quoi is rubbing off on the young staffers as he looks down on them.

Whenever Guido faces an ethical dilemma or an editorial challenge, he asks himself, “What Would Kelvin Do?”


Seen Elsewhere

Reeves Red-Faced After Pension Gaffe | Sun
Band’s Fury at Song Being Used at Labour Conference | Buzzfeed
Rachel Reeves’ Pension Howler | Mail
UKIP Propose 90% Cut in Overseas Aid | Breitbart
Ed Milibaaaand | Sun
Ed Miliband Phrase Generator | Guardian
Blair Right About ISIS | Jago Pearson
Miliband Will Be Prime Minister By Default | Alex Wickham
Labout Have Learned Nothing | Jeremy Warner
How Cameron Can Return to No. 10 | Telegraph
Balls Speech Was Mush | FT


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Before Miliband spoke, a school choir sang ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay. The first verse of which goes like this:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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