As Guido mentioned earlier, CCHQ keep a close eye on the blogs. He hadn’t realised that Dave was such a fan though. In his budget response he referred to Liam Byrne as “Baldemort“. As far as Guido is aware that nickname was first applied to him here last week, before being lifted by the Mail.
Another happy customer.
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Did anyone see the chaos in the background at Canary Wharf on BBC News?
No, well tell us then.
Lots of dealers frantically shouting ‘sell’
Ka-Ching!
another happy customer?
send the bill to Lord you know who
Pathetic, Asda need a toilet cleaner. I suggest you grab the job whole you can.
if it infuriates the spineless little skitter munching trolls like you then he’s obviously doing something right
ftse 100 up
Quiet You!
ftse 250 up
it is blatantly unfair to tax those buying houses over £1M in such a way out of proportion to other taxes
As most readers of this newscast will know – most houses in London or Zug cost £1M or more
This is nonsense
good one trom… all share up
Pound down 1% against the dollar today…
after you’ve sold your gilts pile into someting London listed but with plenty of international earnings?
0.8
liar
euro down 1 against dollar
bob…..its easy to check….. tit
typical front office when they know they’re on the telly, get a phone on each ear, stand up and shout sell sell sell while the live link is running, partic when you’ve got politics on the floor. its the easy simple things that keep us happy.
remember when gordo flicked on electronic trading on the stock exchange? all it took was a few quick chats before hand and the whole board turned red for the first 5minutes while he stood there having his photio taken with it in the background.
Did not need a concerted effort for that to happen
uaf uaf
Ghastly Piece of Filth
And you’ve done something else, you have selected black and minority ethnic candidates, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, right across our country. Not in Labour seats, not in marginal seats, but in safe Conservative seats. And to people who say to me that this modernisation, that this change was just some sort of paint job, I would say this: think of the young black British boy, looking at Parliament, looking at Britain and thinking, “What’s my role? Do I belong? How am I going to get on?” He can look at the Tory party, yes, the Tory party, and he can see Kwasi Kwarteng, Sam Gyimah, Wilfred Emmanuel-Jones, Shaun Bailey, Helen Grant and say, “They’ve got to the top of British politics, I belong here, and so can I”.
“And think about that young Muslim woman, living in Britain, wondering what her role is in modern Britain, who is able to switch on the television and watch, in primetime TV, on Question Time, as Sayeeda Warsi destroyed that ghastly piece of filth, Nick Griffin, and think yes, yes, I belong here, it’s my country too.
“That’s what we’ve done as a party, we can now look the British people in the eye and say: this country, our country, this tolerant, compassionate, brilliant, multi-racial country, we are with you, we are like you, we are for you, we are ready to serve you, this modern Conservative Party made its choice and it’s never going back.
Tory lead down to two points!
yop yop yop ahhhh
freudian slip
Julius? Nicholson? That-baldie-pussy? If you think he’s leaking now, wait till you see when I’m finished with him! He’ll look like fucking Mel Gibson’s Jesus! Fuck!
‘hoon’ is the preffered word…….
ashcroft must be packing his bags now
As is Brown
no he stays to be strung up with the other 600 plus thieving bastards
ah but what is Brown putting in his bag?
It’s brand new, yeah, and he’s going to groove it all night long, I hear.
Why didn’t Cameron just accuse Brown of theft of policies the Tories will implement. Tell the world that Zanulab is just a fraud.
Use to hang criminals for theft or send them to Australia, but there again not far enough away and secondly what they do to deserve Broon, lets just hang then instead.
DC told someone to get him and espresso. As detailed here Mr Byrne is particular about his dietary and organisational requirements. ‘If it’s not on the grid forget it.’
I just saw Cameron’s performance on the youtube clip on the other post.
Christ on a bike the bloke is useless.
More than once I’ve seen him floundering when taken away from the script.
The Haw,Haw,haw laugh also reminds me of a guy I knew at work.And he was a cu*nt as well.
Someone commented earlier,Lets have a hung Parliament re-polarize the parties and have a proper election in another year or so, without Cameron.
You Twat!
Can you qualify that statement please?
He’s not a twat he’s a very silly little turd.
Certainly, he meant to say that you are an egrgious unctuous pompous windbag and Hunt of no use to humanity whatsoever, in fact a complete waste of skin and an oxygen thief. But for short, he called you a twat.
The Penguin.
Desperate tories trolling like fuck in their dying throws.
On yer bike, Dave.
Poor quality trolling dear
Yeah, I don’t normally vote Labour either, but Brown and Darling are commanding! such energy after 13 years in government! 5 more years!
I will cut to the quick for the benefit of all tactical obsessed retards.
Think of the Strategic BIG picture you Cun*s.
strategic big picture?
what a fucking c.untbubble you are
You sir are a labour imposter and i will hand you over to the Yard!
Comment relates to mike Naylor. cock up on the sequencing front!!
Did the Victoria Derbyshire phone in earlier, then the Daily Mail. On here, then onto Telegraph later. all go!
my dog knows brown is shit and can bark when it sees it
doesn’t mean it should be the fucking Prime Minister
you need to do far more than just point out the obvious
try not being as shit as brown either for example
that might work
You bunch of redneck fucking pogues “Labour bad,Conservative good..der my fucking brain hurts”.
You wankers obviously never read my comments because you would know where I stand.
Bollocks to you ‘Party’ pratts.
Fuck the LibLabCons.
You really are a twat!
The Penguin.
yeah, that was in response to Naylor’s mong-gasm
but feel free to barge in and make yourself look a complete pogue and fuckwit too
Andfuckyoutoo chum
a twat of the highest order
David Camerons performance was excellent. I know you are only supposed to have a go at politicians on here but he really broke the spell after Darlings speech, made it look like what it was, a load of political hokum.
Interesting that even on the Beeb they pretty much decried the budget numbers as all made up referring to a £30bn black hole and laughing at Mandelsons discomfort over his own departments numbers.
wasn’t he simply marvelous and jolly super?
and that speech he made on gay TV?
a triumph too buttercup! a veritable tour de force!
Liked it when Lord Botox of Brow said, “We have taken the country back from an economic cliff…” and IDS quipped, “You took us there…”
A bit of clever badonage by Cameron in the chamber don’t cut the fucking mustard in my book.
Immigration,crime,education,Europe,global warming and so on.
Can any Conservative knobs on here tell me WHAT the Cons will do different?
I am a Conservative but with a fuck off big C that is what we need not Cameron the cu*t but there has to be blood to get there.
Strategic,see.
“I am a Conservative…” Pull the other one.
No you’re not your fully paid up Labour/Unite troll.
Another State Education victim. Badonage -WTF is that?
Catflap’s just confused.
He was our Special Guest Gimp at our monthly rebbur badonage fate.
Unfortunately someone let him out early and He’s a bugger to get back in His cage.
Catflap, here boy, nice gimp, come along, in your box.
Errm…, it was the response to the Budget not a tractor stats lecture from Broon!
I suggest feline flapper they will not be proposing a ‘do nothing’ budget a la Darling and McRuin. I could commend the conservative web site if you want to see what their policies are. Do your own research.I can see the source of your confusion -Labour have taken to nicking opposiiton policies as they can’t think up anything new themselves.
What a fucking chinless wonder! When faced with such a cun’t as Brown, all he’s managed to achieve is to throw away a dead cert election victory and is now reduced to trolling the blogs looking for inspirational lines to quote in the hope that everybody laughs at his wit.
What a fucking useless cun’t only surpassed in cun’tishness by the diminishing band of dickhead voters who still believe he and his thieving, robbing EU cocksucking arseholes are an improvement on the thieving, robbing EU cocksucking arseholes on the other side of the house.
Not a fan, then?
The Penguin.
Nothing personal, you understand. He’s probably a very nice chap met on a social basis, but as a politician he’s a wet useless fucking out of date fucking lettuce.
So, better than most other politicians then?
No. Equal in his self serving expense troughing waste of fucking space purveyor of hot air and a bulging bank account.
Agreed. And as far as voting to achieve that, well everyone knows realistically there are only 2 options – either don’t bother at all or just choose some random minority party on the day. I’m floating between these choices right now, and to be honest it wouldn’t take much to make me not bother at all, like if I had to work late and wanted my tea, or it was raining etc.
And that is probably the opinion of 60% of the country.
My apologies to those who I misread and a big BOLLOCKS to those who have shown there colors. Piss off to ConHome or fucking Labourlist.
You’re part of the problem, not the solution.
No offence taken. seeing the conlablib party fighting between themselves in the commons over who gets to fuck over this country and sell us out to the EU faster and deeper makes me even more proud, happy and determined to vote UKIP.
Perhaps the hons and rt hons will use (_:_)rseholes in addressing each other . . . . .
Immitation is the sincerest form of flatery
Immigration is the sincerest form of penury.
Emigration is the sincerest form of voting.
Constipation is the thief of time.
Socialism is the thief of hope.
Colostomy is a bag of shit
,,,so is Brown!
If I might be allowed to offer a little relief for that………..
I’m more inclined to call him a ‘poofs fart’.
I won’t embed the youtube clip, cos it’ll get modded, but if you want to see a cartoon poof’s fart, go to youtube and put in – southpark; hand me the evidence bag.
Not good quality, but you will shit yourself laughing.
Beat THAT for political insight.
Quite a good performance from Dave, ignored totally by the Three Fuckwitted Al-JaBeeBa Monkeys in their studio.
Dave needs to keep banging on about the enormous, unaffordable increase in debt. DarlingDarling’s hoped-for reduction in the annual deficit is all predicated on growth which we will NEVER achieve!
Who rewired your brain to pump out pap like that? CCO HQ?
Go back and apply for a refund.
So you think we can continue to double the national debt every 5 years or so, fuckwit?
I think we need a real leader not a useless cun’t like Cameron whose budget response will be forgotten by tomorrow.
His half decent budget response will not even have been seen at all by most people.
Mandelslime, on College Green with IDS & Kennedy,used his usual technique of continually interrupting the other two when they were answering questions. They both allowed him to say his piece wihout interruption.
It looked very much as though John Sorpel was strongly playing the Beeb’s pro-liebour game.He made no attempt to stop M***slime’s tactics.
God at times like that dont you really want to give the prime mincer such a smack.
http://www.torybear.com/2009/04/is-lord-baldamort-crackers-too.html
And whoever used it here lifted it from “In The Loop”.
perhaps Commie Ron read it in the MAIL
If he read this blog that close he should have referred to Brown as a Scottish, one eyed, slack jawed, gurning, sack of putrid shit. It’s been said often enough. DOESN’T HE LISTEN.
Baldemort on Pravda now
Phew Hugh, The BBC Wanchor Man thanked Baldermort with such sycophancy when he had finished, it’s in our nature!
Hope he’d checked Lord B hadn’t left anything… always leaving his stuff around and accusing people of theft.
Baldemort getting a kicking on why the detail of £11,000,000,000 of cuts will be in a press release this afternoon, rather than in the Chancellor’s speech…
There will be no detail at all. It will be another free thirty minute party political broadcast mentioning ‘Ashcroft’ a lot for no particular reason.
Followed by a photocopied handout.
Fuckin 10p on cider,what a fuckin shower of shit that Darling Hunt is!
Nah mate. It’s a 10% above inflation rise. So if inflation is say 5% then the increase in duty (note the increase in the duty) would be 15%.
Beer tax (I’m not sure how much it is for cider but it’s less I think) is about 50p/pint. So a 15% increase would ‘only’ be 7.5p.
It’s still a blow to the cider industry which is much more a home (ie UK) product than many lagers and the big brewing companies. I don’t know why he’s targetted it tbh.
Particularly since his predecessor always made such a big show of holding off the duty on W*isk*y.
funny how inflation was zero when looking at tax allowances…
Fiscal drag that’s called.
Love the way Darling denied his lie in advance before announcing the 50% tax.
‘We are not looking to score political points blah blah….. but only the top 1% will pay…’
Yeah. Right. No political point-scoring there. No ‘squeeze the rich’ there. Or from the 5% tax on million pound homes.
No clapping like chimps from the Labour back-benches when that was announced.
Darling is a Drag artist.
They could always use West Country apple orchards for fly tipping when the landfill tax comes in.
Whiskey is made where, exactly? And cider is made in……….?
I think Dave let himself down with the ‘Baldermort’ jibe.
There is such a rich vein of righteous anger he could be channelling against the Brown idiocy there is no reason to bring in fringe players.
So hammer Byers and Hewitt just as Labour are dragging up Ashcroft at every turn.
Hammer UNITE and them funding ‘phone banks’ to harass swing voters with laundered tax-payers money.
That said Dave did give a reasonably good response. Particularly when he pointed out that only Ireland was more economically mismanaged than the UK. A nice counter to all the bogus projections trotted out by Darling.
I see where you’re coming from with this. I still think the “Baldemort” comment could still have been used, if only to dismiss him/his comments. Something like “Fu ck off Baldemort” and then continue to hammer at Brown.
Apart from the 60,000 or so committed political beavers here, who are a drop in the bucket compared to the millions of part time watchers out in the big wide world who have no real interest apart from the 6 o clock news headlines, he made about as much impact as a fart hitting Browns shitty arse.
Quite so. The BBC decides what the voters hear. they will hear the ‘….and…Belize.’ punchline which will be thoughtfully put into context in case the voters weren’t aware of the controversy and then they’ll give Cameron a perfunctory soundbite that they’ve decided is the least damaging to the Maximum Imbecile but they can hold up to demonstrate even-handedness if questioned.
The BBC. Lying to you because it’s in your best interests. And they’ve all been to Oxford and you haven’t so they would know what was in your best interests.
Not fair: a lot of them went to Fenland Polytechnic and there are a couple from Bristol and Durham to fill their ethnic quota.
Viewers outside England will now leave us for their own programming…
Union Modernisation Fund still not making big news. UMF is the scandal Dave should force onto the Agenda. Union Mother Fuckers
Whose that Beboid Twunt in Dudley on a shilling away day, with his coat hanger protruding, hang the thwat!
Maybe got it from here, or maybe he got it from ‘In the Loop’. Tosser.
okay isn’t going to butter any parsnips as Major wold no doubt say
the time for when okay would do was when the lead was in the mid 20′s
it’s still the economy stupid and this was the big time
How many voters on modest incomes will balance pennies on a pint compared to soaking the rich bastards with big gaffs and feel that’s a fair swap?
Ha! Oh Guido you self-righteous fawker. The Thick of It. Series Three. Episode Seven.
Don’t give yourself so much credit.
After today’s bollocks from Mentalist and Hello Darling, we need a laugh.
“And think about that young Muslim woman, living in Britain, wondering what her role is in modern Britain, who is able to switch on the television and watch, in primetime TV, on Question Time, as Sayeeda Warsi destroyed that ghastly piece of filth, Nick Griffin, and think yes, yes, I belong here, it’s my country too.”
And those cnuts are getting the bomb?
So if the B&P are knuckledraggers, ghastly pieces of filth, etc. (insert insulting epithet to taste), what the fuck describes these utterly loony wankers?
Boy, I feel great
This morning I placed some speakers 1.6km from my house and had a wank into a microphone….
You could hear me coming a mile away.
Illegal comment noted and we have your IP address. There is no such thing as a mile.
Yes, and?
Here’s an idea for those who don’t intend to vote, either because it won’t make a difference, they can’t stomach endorsing any of the shits that stand, or just can’t be bothered: http://www.spoilyourvote.co.uk/
What is Harman’s line on Baldiegate? Calling somebody ‘Baldemort’ is clearly hairist and discriminatory. Mosy baldies, however, are chauvinist rapist pigs (i.e. men). What’s you line on this, Hat?
Hattist!!
Mosy baldies, however, are chauvinist rapist pigs (i.e. men).
Would you care to retract?
If you’d not been so keen on shoving it in in the first place Jade you wouldn’t need a retraction. Or a coffin.
I’M Sparagus
As a baldie with naturally high testosterone levels, I can assure Ms Hatesmen that it bothers me not a jot.
However, I won’t be wasting any of my testosterone on her – Sarah Teather needs a seeing-to.
Hang on we called him a BALD Hunt. Why didnt he use that instead of Baldemort ?
Liam Byrne on Sky admitting that he’s known as “Baldemort” – lol
Don’t like the confusion of tax avoidance and evasion though – one is perfectly fine, the other is not allowed…
Talk about deliberate confusion. Did you see Darling deliberately confuse deficit with debt on several occasions? Think is if you listened carefully he was technically correct – he’d say something like ‘So by the end of the next period the debt will only be increasing by 100bn – which is true but a form of words deliberately chosen to make it sound as though our total national debt would be a mere 100bn quid.
They do put an enormous amount of work into misleading people don’t they?
Imagine if they’d devoted all that energy to doing a good job instead of lying and then trying to cover up their lies.
It was a masterful piece of sophistry, wasn’t it?
Fuck knows where he got his growth assumptions from, though – if we manage to average 4% over the next few years it’ll either be a miracle or another magic housing/credit bubble.
I notice he carefully referred to ‘net public debt’ as well – carefully keeping PFI/PPP off the figures. That’s like agreeing to pay off your credit cards without accounting for your mortgage repayments – has he been on the Ocean Finance Public Accounting course?
From the BBC web coverage no less…
A bit more info on that stamp duty cut. Poring over the figures in the Budget Red Book, we understand the measure will cost the Treasury £230m in 2010-11 and £290m in 2011-12. And raising the rate on homes worth more than £1m will not raise enough to plug that hole – raising an estimated £90m in 2010-11 and £70m in 2011-12.
So, if my maths is correct, far from soaking the rich to help out first time buyers – this little political stunt would raise just 31% of the total cost.
Where is he going to get the rest from ?
I think that as an average wage earner who drives a car I can guess.
The shortfall will come from increased borrowing. It’s the price of a soundbite. A ‘soaking the rich’ soundbite.
Costs money but buys votes.
ANd being in power is all about being in power. It emphatically not about doing a good job. Or doing ‘the right thing’. Or being ‘prudent’. Or any of that shit. It’s an end in itself for these venal, self-serving fuckers.
Some estate agent from Dudley saying that the stamp duty break was great news,and that first time buyers are the lifeblood of the housing market.
Beeboid says..’what proportion of house sales are first time buyers?’
….0.1% says moron.
Sheesh!
he might have hit on Darling’s declaration to target tax avoidance – fine sentiment from the chancellor who has flipped his way to a property portfolio without paying a penny in capital gains tax. Obvious that he’s from the same stable as Byers.
SIR – One should be gobsmacked if those CCHQ Johnnies were to have a single, original thought in their minuscule noddles one might mention, sir.
Those scallawags filched The Kernel’s reference to ‘BluLabour’ just as soon as it was published on some rather down-market broadsheet’s website, one should say. The coverall reference to British politics lost favour in double-quick time when the dolts realised that the joke was on them, sir.
Yours, pressing one’s apples as hard as one dares and letting Mrs K lick the juices before the bastards levy a tax on our simple pleasure, Col. M.T. Kernel (retd.)
Ah, so Mrs K licks your juices as well as everyone else’s? Well done Colonel for being so liberal with the Mem.
Guido, I think you’re blowing your own trumpet. I can first remember hearing the term “Baldemort” to describe Julius Nicholson in “The Thick of It”. No doubt you did too.
Innocent question #1 – what is the proportion of first time buyers who will be able to afford up to £250K on a house? (Or are Northern Rock up to their old tricks again?)
Innocent question #2 – how many electric cars or wind turbines will a British worker have to assemble (not make as the clever bits will be shipped in from abroad) in order to gather up enough dosh for a deposit on a £250K house.
Innocent question #3 – why does the recovery of the UK economy depend upon re-inflating the property bubble, video games and assembling eco-products which have been invented by clever foreigners.
Innocent question #4 – did I see Broon shout “shut-up” to Cameron when he (Dave) was goading him in the Budget Response.
Random stream of consciousness stuff.
Here’s one for CCHQ
Brown in a gay one eyed violent lying jock mong. I hope Dave uses that one next week.
[...] at the appalling mess that the Prime Minister and Baldemort seem to find so funny.” [Refer to Guido for the Baldemort [...]
Allegedly, Byrne’s unfortunate staff refer to him as Baldemort
This is just what I mean. Instead of getting out and finding scoops, Guido brags about some tired insult being filched by the mainstream media.
He really is dead on his Oirish arse these days.
“As far as Guido is aware that nickname was first applied to him here last week, before being lifted by the Mail.”
Then you have your answer, he got it from The Mail, nobody would bother with the shite served up here.
Given that the authoress of the Harry Potter series, (from whence the root of this intriguing epithet comes), J.K.Rowling, is an avid leftie Labour supporter, I bet she is spitting feathers at its novel uses!
After working out i’m £54 a year worse off iv’e decided to take a benefits holiday,i’ll only be breaking even finacially but why bother working like slave when i can paid the same for doing fuckall.
So much for Labour being a working man’s party!
Did you see the look of anger on the Prime Mentalist’s face when Cameron made the quip about Brown and Darling talking – were they discussing the lobbying rates for after the election? If Brown had had a Nokia in his hand……
[...] it to say that Baldemort was coined by the blogger Guido Fawkes, who is obviously a Harry Potter [...]
[...] due to lecture on corporate morality and Thursday she cancelled. PMQs saw Dave use Guido’s Baldemort quip about Liam Byrne (Armando Iannucci says he used the line about someone else and Guido owes him [...]