March 23rd, 2010

Balls : Blame Blairites If Labour Loses

A Blairite source tells Guido that Ed Balls is already telling Labour colleagues that the blame for a potential Labour defeat lies with the Blairites for (a) rocking the boat with repeated attempted coups (b) getting caught money grubbing. Coincidentally he is expected to be Charlie Whelan’s chosen candidate against Blair’s protege Miliband. Nothing like getting your attack in first…


  1. 1
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Vote Balls get boll*cks


    • 10
      Brown's Buggered Britain says:

      Yes, the name says it all.


      • 18

        Vote Miliband and get the same. It really is lose/lose.


        • 22
          Steve Expat says:

          Definitely something interesting that the MPs caught here have all pissed off Brown in spadefuls recently.

          Nick Robinson almost alluded to it this morning that this could all be a set-up from the Bunker to get rid of them before the campaign really starts, or at least make sure they leave Parliament with no severance and no chance of employment outside….


          • Objective - Stating the Bleeding Obvious says:

            FFS we all saw Hoon, Hewitt & Byers last night Fawkes.It’s not a secret.
            It’s not a fucking conspiracy theory for the Labour backbenchers to put 2 + 2 together with the fact that EVERYONE knows the King and Queen of Fuckwits Hoon and Hewittt were behind the bungled coup attempt
            Pretty obvious where blame is going to fall and fall hard.

            The Blairites are still going to get the blame if Balls fell dead tomorrow.
            And Brown is still going Bye Bye because blaming the Blairites won’t save his skin either. But Balls is simply too revolting and close to Brown to ever get the job. He’s pissing in the wind if he is telling backbenchers what they already know. It won’t help his chances one iota.


          • Hugh Janus says:

            Hardly surprising, McBust is nothing if not spiteful and vindictive.

            Let’s hope the Testicular One rises to the very top of NuLiebour, rather like the unflushable turd, then we can consign the whole lot of them to oblivion.


          • captain cumshot says:

            Did someone mention Balls.



          • The fact that Hoon and Hewitt have been suspended has nothing to do with the “snow plot”, and Gordon’s demented desire for revenge. After all, half the party wants Gordon out, and we can hardly suspend them all, much as we might like to do this.

            We have to be seen to be taking firm action, which is why we have firmly ruled out an enquiry. I note that those horrid baby-eating Tories haven’t suspended their MP, which shows how weak they are. In contrast, Gordon’s decision not to suspend one of the Labour MPs embroiled in this affair should be glossed over, and is a sign of Gordon’s strength, not weakness. Er, or something.


          • Mr Ned says:

            Fucking hell. They haven’t even called the election yet and they are already starting fighting the post-election defeat melt-down like ferrets in a sack.

            The economy is tanking, we are borrowing more and more every hour to pretend it is recovering and all this will have to be repaid with interest from an economy that cannot even afford the interest at the moment, let alone the capital amount outstanding. We need a bunch of people in charge who can fix this mess and clean up the enormous pile of financial shit that labour has created. What are we getting? The cabinet fighting like 13 year old bitches with a crush and rank corruption throughout this rotten, foetid necrotic labour party. Clashes of ego and undeserved vanity intertwined with idealistic and thoroughly fantasy policies from labour that bust through desperate and land squarely in delusional.


        • 130
          Lord Carrington's binoculars says:

          Polly’s already running the line over at the Guardian….


          • Jack says:

            Actually Polly Twaddle does a good hatchet job on Blair and Mandelson

            That needs broadcasting in fact

            The rest of her article is the usuall ignorant guilt filled champagne socialist tax bit..

            To be ignored…


          • A Guardian Idiot says:

            Where wa polly when Blair and Mandleson wre in charge of the place?


          • Thunderbox says:

            Send for Richard Littlejohn, he’s great at stuffing ‘poledance Polly’.


          • Lightweight Cast Iron says:

            “Polly Twaddle does a good hatchet job on Blair”

            Kept her fucking mouth shut when he was fucking over the country, though, didn’t she.

            Evil fucking hypocritical deluded champagne socialist bitch!


        • 258

          Russian fifth columnist vs Israeli fifth columnist.

          What a great choice for the poor benighted souls who support Liebour!


      • 19
        GEORGIE PEORGIE says:

        We’re all beating Balls together.


        • 89
          Animal says:

          At first I thought that Balls must become the next leader of the Liebore Party as he would render them utterly unelectable.

          The only problem with that is the number of people moving to the Bleedin Nasty Party would increase, making them a larger political force in this country, and that would be immensely worrying. Shamefully the number of people prepared to vote for such a disgusting bunch of racist socilaists is already far too high, and this almost solely due to a Government that has for 13 years signally failed to help the very people they claim to represent.

          The trampling over of hope, contempt of personal ambition and a need to control us all. Those are Labour’s core beliefs.


          • Thats News says:

            They could have helped the poor. But instead they helped themselves…


          • albacore says:

            Thanks so much for the enlightenment, Animal.
            Tell a lie often enough and it becomes the truth, eh?
            Or, in the case of the party that Fawkes will not allow even to be named here, the smear is sufficient. Combine the lying smear with the dread accusation of racism, that most heinous of crimes, defined entirely at the accuser’s whim from one minute to the next, and all further thought on the subject is verboten. Blasphemy, no less.
            The result is immovable filth in Parliament: and state-endorsed mobs attack members of the unmentionable party with total immunity from prosecution.
            Can you feel the Inquisition breathing down your neck yet?


    • 23
      The Dirty Rat says:

      Gonads sounds far better. The Rt Hon Ed. Gonads – maybe not.


    • 55

      Cut out the middle man. Vote Whelan.


    • 65
      Sick-oh! says:

      Hey Ed, have you been CRB or even enhanced CRB checked? I mean, you and Gordon Brown seem to hang around lots of school children for PR stunts recently. You would not like to give us the impression that there is one rule for you, and one for everyone else?

      And tell us, why do Labour always like to hang around school children, or kiss babies at election rallies? You’re pretty sick if you ask me.


    • 72
      ‘Labour MPs caught agreeing to accept cash in return for legislation‘ says:

      Vote Labour get robbed.


      • 106
        'No Conservative MPs caught agreeing to accept cash in return for legislation‘ says:

        Apart from Dave’s close friend Sir John Butterhill who he still hasn’t suspended.

        Vote Dave get Blair.


        • 176
          Anonymous says:

          How do I vote for a TV channel? Why should I?


        • 232
          Mr Ned says:

          What is the fucking point of suspending him for only 2 weeks? Fuckwit!

          Cameron has promised that Butterhill will NOT get the position in the house of Lords that he was expecting!


    • 73
      Doging to accept cash in return for legislation‘ says:

      uaf uaf


    • 213
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Vote H*tlerBalls, get seedless grapes


    • 235
      Buster Gonad says:

      Is this the fat faced guy who doesnt know where he lives ???


  2. 2
    Andrew S says:



  3. 3
    Lord G says:

    Ed Balls – shower of shit.


  4. 5
    Jack Ketch says:

    Like rats in a sack


  5. 6
    Susie says:

    Yes of course… it’s all Blair’s fault, before that it was Thatcher’s fault.

    The country is on the brink of disaster and Labour have been in power for 13 years, but it’s someone else’s fault.


    • 26
      Alien Mothership says:

      Things can only get better!


    • 27
      Steve Expat says:

      Of course it’s someone else’s fault Susie – has Brown ever actually apologised for something that was his fault?

      Selling gold at the bottom of the market and telling that market beforehand, for an obvious example…


      • 95
        Anonymous says:

        Check out YouTube, Brown claims that it was the fault of the previous government for having too much gold. Seriously.


        • 146
          Up sh1t creek says:

          Selling the UK taxpayers gold reserves, where’s the problem in that? Especially if I, the great Gordon announce to the world’s markets that I intend to sell 400 tonnes of gold, which instantly depresses the price further, further exacerbating the losses the taxpayers made on the “deal”.

          I am the great Gordon, and I “diversified” your portfolio for your benefit. Look how well the UK economy is doing thanks to me. I even saved the world don’t you know!


          • Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

            “I am the great Gordon, and I “diversified” your portfolio for your benefit. Look how well the UK economy is doing thanks to me. I even saved the world don’t you know!”

            The terrifying thing is; he actually believes this stuff.


      • 98
        Anonymous says:

        I doubt he’ll ever apologise for that; his tiny and inadequate mind is convinced he ‘did the right thing.’

        He did whimper a bit of an apology for lying about cutting the defence budget 4 or 5 times during two wars, but he didn’t apologise for any of the deaths that this caused.


    • 59
      Weapons of Mass Destruction says:

      nothing to do with Tony!


    • 100
      Captain Black says:

      No, no, no. It started in America.


    • 134
      I will take that bung now said the uncivil servant says:

      It was all Wilson’s fault that it was Thatchers fault


      • 240
        udderly 'orrible says:

        Actually I think if you look hard enough, it was all that Adam and Eve’s fault really.


        • 259
          Susie says:

          Having considered the matter deeply and long, I’ve come to the conclusion that it was the last Ice Age’s fault for deciding to melt so inconveniently and creating the English Channel.

          If only we were still joined to France and still one happy Euro family with just Herman van Rompuyy and Cath Ashton in charge forever and ever… a happy land with pretty baa lambs and fluffy white clouds drifting by… sigh.


  6. 7
    Hateful Harriet says:

    The only people the Labour sleeze balls should blame is themselves. Cameron was right to call them sleazy pigs!


    • 52
      Sir John Butterfucker says:

      “David Cameron. I was one of the four original people who persuded him to stand.
      I don’t think I’ve fallen out with any of them.”

      Cameron was right to pretend Sir John doesn’t exist!

      “Tough on sleaze tough on ingoring his own sleaze”


      • 133
        Lord Paul the man who bankrolled Brown with stolen pensioners cash says:

        We hold the moral high ground at last Gordon.


        • 178
          Troughers Troughers everywhere and they're to dumb to think says:

          You mean apart from every other Party that isn’t NuLabour & BluLabour.

          Not particularly high the ground you pretend to be on is it ?
          In fact it’s quicksand as the public clearly all know.
          Seen the Polls lately ?


  7. 8
    The IMF is coming says:

    Says it all – Whelan’s chosen one.

    Wonder if GMB will have a candidate for leader? After all they contribute £m’s to Labour


  8. 9
    Andrew S says:

    I want to see Balls get the leadership. I don’t think the surname Balls is going to appeal to many people tbh, not very impressive on the international stage. Plus he’s weird, so yes – elect someone who is unelectable please!


    • 12
      Hahaha! says:

      Monsieur Couilles!


    • 13
      jdennis_99 says:

      Hear, hear!

      They elect Balls as leader, and they consign Labour to the political wilderness for at least a generation.

      Balls for Labour Leader! Why? He’s a complete tosser!


      • 29
        The IMF is coming says:

        Yes but Brown, the worst PM ever, is proving difficult to budge. I just don’t get it. The Tories have got their act together, there is bad news after bads news for Brown and yet 30% still would vote for him.


        • 81
          English Liberation Front says:

          According to the “weighted” polling of a company whose boss is married to a leading member of the Labour elite, the new robber barons of England.


        • 116
          Gordon Brown stole my pension says:

          Those 30% all have little kiddies called ‘Alfie’ or ‘Carry-Anne’ who communicate only in grunts, they’re all 5th-generation inbreds and you can find them queueing at Asda’s ‘baccy’ counter on that weekly payday for Labour-voting surplus human mush, aka ‘benefits day’.

          They can’t read, write or hold down a job, but sadly they can vote.


          • Under a flower pot at the bottom of the garden until that c'nt brown calls the General Election says:

            but they have no idea how to, and I am not going to tell them.


          • Labour Postal Votes says:

            Don’t worry, we’re helping them.

            We appreciate it’s hard for spongers to make the time to get out and vote between picking up their Giro and pissing it up against the wall so we are offering to fill out and post their votes free.

            With unemployment as high as it is we’ve already sown up the election, 5 more glorious years.


      • 139
        I will take that bung now said the uncivil servant says:

        Up balls Ballsup


    • 219
      Anonymous says:

      You are not talking bollocks. John Major recognized it and made to lose his own supernumerary appendage early, before it could affect his batting average.


  9. 16
    lord felching says:

    the drippy one?


  10. 17
    Silent Bob says:


  11. 20
    Tesco is fucking the country says:

    One day, not so long ago, he was just THERE. Where DID this desperate, nauseating, Brown arse-licking piece of human excrement originate? Did Cyclops conjure him up with a computer, as those lads did with the perfect woman in the movie Weird Science? Er – no. Broon wouldn’t know how to boot up and wouldn’t be able to see the screen anyway. So which Midlands scum-swamp did Edward Bollox come from?


    • 49
      The IMF is coming says:

      He is a Frankenstein monster created in the Bunker. Real gripping hands. Pull a cord from his back and he goes into ‘labour speak’, talking over everyone and getting louder until he has the final word. He is the creation of Whelan and Brown and I believe version 2 will correct the ‘blinking eyes’ bug. The female version, Yvette 1.0, still requires quite a lot of development


  12. 21
    Andrew Efiong says:

    I’d love Ed Balls to be Labour leader. He’s so out of his depth already but then he’d just drown. A devisive figure, he’d rip the party in half.

    Remember, it’s his economic advice that led to the boom and bust, he is one of the chief architects of “light touch” regulation, of the housing mania and the massive public finance blackhole.


  13. 23
    Baboon's arse (getting redder by the nano second) says:

    Mr Straw said: “There is such anger in the Parliamentary Labour Party, as well as I may say incredulity, about their stupidity in allowing themselves to be suckered in a sting like this.”

    Mr Straw told BBC Radio Four: “Their behaviour, prima facie, does indeed bring the Parliamentary Labour Party, as well as Parliament, into disrepute, because it appears that former Cabinet ministers are more interested in making money than they are in properly representing their constituents.”



    • 35
      Steve Expat says:

      Desparate attempt from the Brownites to hang these guys out to dry – good luck with that, the story’s not going anywhere tonight, front pages all round on Budget Day morning…


    • 243
      Unsworth says:

      Not that they were doing anything wrong.

      Just that the fuckers got caught.


  14. 25
    Johnny says says:

    What a strange creature the Labour Party is – at least two Balls, lots of pricks *and* a Hoon.


    • 80
      Labour Election Strategist says:

      It’s just one fuckin’ thing after another….


      • 147
        Scotty says:

        Ah canny keep us on course Cap’t


      • 214
        Archer Karcher says:

        How in Gods name are this gang of fools thieves, perverts and liars still standing?

        Any half competent opposition should have wiped the floor and be re-arranging the room furniture, with them, by now.
        Cameron should sack his advisors, beg or borrow some balls ( assuming he knows anyone with any ) and put Labour to the sword once and for all.
        PMQ`s better be dynamite this week, with a concerted press and media attck line from the Tories.
        If it is not, there is not and Dave sends ball after ball sailing into row Z as per, the only conclusion that can be drawn is he does not want it, feels not up to it or is just plain useless.


    • 180
      Milli-Mossad says:

      Dont’ forget me

      I’m Lilli-Mossad

      I have two balls and a banana up my bum

      But I am sweet…


  15. 32
    oldasiahand says:

    Bollocks is a total wanker. Look at those staring eyes when he is on the box. he’s having it off and wants to have us off. Just FO u tosser!


    • 37
      Steve Expat says:

      He would be hillarious as Liebour leader – makes Brown seem like a calm and collected stateman…


      • 114
        Engineer says:

        A Labour leadership contest between Ed Bollocks, Hattie Harperson and John Presclott would be just the tonic the country needs. It would be the funniest show in town by miles.


  16. 34
    East Midlander says:

    The drippy one! which one?, they are both extremely wet and and without charisma. Can you imagine either of them making any impression on our European masters.


    • 62
      The IMF is coming says:

      Margaret Beckett was once Foreign Secretary. Jeez


      • 207
        Mr Ed (Not Gonads or Millipede) says:

        She had become eligible for the Kentucky Derby!!


        • 218
          Archer Karcher says:

          The old bag is too old for competitive sport these days. A quick watering of her lovely, taxpayer funded, hanging baskets and she is done for the day.


  17. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Ed Balls is absolutely dripping in shit.

    Its a miracle nobody’s killed him.


  18. 41
    .243 Win says:

    There’s been such a radical change of direction from the bunker these past few days I have to wonder who’s really pulling the strings here.

    There’s been a continual dip-feed of “Tony’s going to come back and help us in the election” but now all I’m seeing is the last of the Blairites being purged from the McTwat gummint of no talent.

    Add on to that the undoubted hold that Unite have over Zanu and this is starting to look like the Labour of Callaghan, Wilson and Foot. With all the industrial action and the debt, it’s starting to feel mighty like it too.

    Everyone in bunker-land must be aware how much damage this is doing to ZaNu but they don’t seem to be able to stop the complete implosion of “the project”.

    So, is this deliberate suicide – preventing them from being in power when the shit hits so they can blame everything on the Tories again – or is this McDoom wreaking his revenge regardless of the consequences ?


    • 54
      Hugh Janus says:

      Yes, but what damage? None that shows in the polls.


      • 76
        .243 Win says:

        I’m somewhat skeptical of the polling that’s going on at the moment – it looks like there’s a highly targeted sample group being polled, not very representative of the country as a whole.

        What concerns me is the areas of the country – like Newcastle – where 70% of the employment is Public sector. That and the vast pool of benefit-dependents and those milking it from various tax/pension/family credit schemes. Turkeys and Christmas and all that….

        If – as is widely reported – this one is really going to be decided on the marginals, I believe that’s where the damage is being done – but they’re notoriously difficult to poll and then group to get anything like a credible national picture.


        • 93
          Steve Expat says:

          All the marginal polls are pointing to a much bigger swing than elsewhere – it is no use Labour going for the core vote if all they do is bring out even more in Glasgow and Newcastle.

          In the marginals there seems to be only one outcome discussed, and it’s not the present government being returned for another term…

          43 days until polling day!


        • 97
          Beautiful Day says:

          You can’t just assume that public sector employees will automatically vote Labour, some of them have the sense to realise that the money has to earened before the Govt can tax and spend it.


        • 112
          26 point lead. Gone says:

          No-one was complaining about the polls when Dave had a 26 point lead.
          Funny that.


          • Archer Karcher says:

            Ah yes, a 26% lead prior to abandoning the referendum pledge. He obviously felt that he may lose a few percentage points over it, but not enough to influence the outcome of the election.
            Bad call, very, very bad call.
            I wonder if he regrets it now?


    • 105
      The Admiral says:

      Does Mandy count as a blairite?…


    • 115
      lord felching says:

      Yep, that would go well.
      Question 1, Are you a non-dom for tax purposes Tony?


    • 151
      Twat of a Chancellor says:

      The latter but Brown has calculated, in his sick mind, the consequences. This is about revenge on those that have challenged him and smearing all parties to confuse the voters to guarantee a hung parliament. Then, in his mind, riding in on his white charger as the only man in the country who can ‘ clean up’ politics. ” Look “, he will say, “I had no idea this was going on, but I have a moral compass and I will put it all right. I am your saviour ” In his mind it’s a winning strategy. Everybody and anything is expendable along the road to glory and his place in history.


      • 239
        Gordon Brown says:

        I will not let you down, it is the right thing to do, hard working families deserve our support, I am getting on with the job at hand, I wake every morning thinking how I can make things better for Britain.
        This recession that started in America, has made me determined to carry on and do all I can for the people and the country.
        It`s not all about me, it`s about the important things that matter to all of us, the health service, safer streeets, anti terror measures keeping us all safe, the battle against climate change and the flat earthers who oppose the measures we are taking.

        I can spout this drivel all day and all night. I`m good at stats too. Thank God you have been blessed by my premiership, you lucky little people.


    • 160
      backwoodsman says:

      …visions of the plp doing a Jonestown mass suicide with the poisoned Gatorade ! Happy days.


    • 186
      Jill says:

      Do you think the bunker is going to smear Manedscum now ?

      he should be the next in line….

      Or perhaps should I say “out him” ?


  19. 42
    Taxi for Byers says:

    Hold on a minute,wasn’t it the Blairites that won 3 general elections in a row!


    • 57
      John Terry is snide and untrustworthy says:

      That doesn’t mean a thing – Blairites blew it with their involvement with Bush, the Iraq war and the disclosures of dishonesty since those events. But, as a hater of NuLiarbour I welcome the Blairites in this election getting as much publicity as possible.


  20. 44
    Sunday Morning says:

    Byers has shown himself to be capable of greatly exaggerating his own influence and capacity to make things happen.

    I don’t know why the likes of Brown and Balls have it in for him…he’s proving himself right up there with them!


  21. 45

    Until the grip upon sovereignity of parliament by MPs is removed, it is guaranteed that the next lot, aware of all the perks free from external interference, will prove just as bad as this lot . . . . . just wait and see perhaps next century . . . . .


  22. 46
    John Terry is snide and untrustworthy says:

    This is remarkable. It’s only a short time ago I heard on the news that Brown was bringing in Blair and giving an increasing role to Mandelson for the next election campaign. I wish they’d make their minds up.

    Blair is a most obscene, repulsive character who is now making millions out of war torn Iraq. How low can one get! He would be a dream ticket for Cameron and the Tories should mention his name as often as possible to remind voters of Labour’s crookedness.


  23. 48
    Geoff Hoon's lapel wielding flourish says:

    The funniest thing about last night’s Channel 4 expose was Geoff Hoon’s lapel wielding flourish whilst simultaneously bragging that he “frankly wanted to make some money”. Said with all the expertise of a sixth form milk round interviewee desperate to impress, but still hopelessly out of his depth. It was beautiful. Go on, watch it again.


  24. 56
    GB - come fly with me says:

    The Labour Party really ought to Unite.


  25. 60
    Baboon's arse (getting redder by the nano second) says:

    Where’s the trolls?

    Come out and fight you little wankers.


  26. 66
    red_rag says:

    The comments about Ed Balls are ridiculous. He is the heir apparent to one of the greatest leaders of modern times. This is a man who has the syle and guts to lead this country out of these difficult times. Go for it Ed.


    • 84
      Martin Day's goldfish says:

      He’s the puppetmaster that left the labour party in the shit. (thats a polite way of saying “in the brown stuff”)


    • 88
      Red Cojones says:

      Whatever you say, I am hear to serve.


    • 187
      Minekiller says:

      I too hope young Ed will take the helm of Labour. That way, they’ll be destroyed and that is exactly want the UK needs. Britain has been in decline ever since that shower of shit emerged as a political party. Cheap, shabby and stupid, they don’t even do corruption very well.

      Week after week another scandal emerges and the old cry of can it get any worse goes up, or can they sink any lower. Well we have our answer, there is no depth to which this venal, self-aggrandissing, narcissistic, thieving, lying, money whoring, war criminals will not plumb. I can’t wait for the canvassing and if one of you Labour bastards turns up on my doorstep I will beat the shit out of you. That is a real promise, unlike the lies, spin and shit spouted by you and your filth government. Bring it on.


      • 229
        Jock McJock says:

        How many Tory MPs in

        a) Scotland ?

        b) Wales ?

        C) Northern Ireland ?

        Vote English Independence Unionist (but not with others) Party.

        You are your own worst enemies. No wonder you’ll get f*cked at the next election


  27. 70
    Baboon's arse (getting redder by the nano second) says:

    Where too, is Magda with her twatterings from the bunker?

    Has the cyanide been released yet?


  28. 71
    David Cameron officially endorses the UAF says:

    And you’ve done something else, you have selected black and minority ethnic candidates, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, right across our country. Not in Labour seats, not in marginal seats, but in safe Conservative seats. And to people who say to me that this modernisation, that this change was just some sort of paint job, I would say this: think of the young black British boy, looking at Parliament, looking at Britain and thinking, “What’s my role? Do I belong? How am I going to get on?” He can look at the Tory party, yes, the Tory party, and he can see Kwasi Kwarteng, Sam Gyimah, Wilfred Emmanuel-Jones, Shaun Bailey, Helen Grant and say, “They’ve got to the top of British politics, I belong here, and so can I”.

    “And think about that young Muslim woman, living in Britain, wondering what her role is in modern Britain, who is able to switch on the television and watch, in primetime TV, on Question Time, as Sayeeda Warsi destroyed that ghastly piece of filth, Nick Griffin, and think yes, yes, I belong here, it’s my country too.

    “That’s what we’ve done as a party, we can now look the British people in the eye and say: this country, our country, this tolerant, compassionate, brilliant, multi-racial country, we are with you, we are like you, we are for you, we are ready to serve you, this modern Conservative Party made its choice and it’s never going back.


    • 217
      Hairy Palms of Hamstead says:

      Thanks for your opinion Dave.Would you like to swap houses with me, so my local community can celebrate and enrich your wife’s diverse hairy bits?


      • 254
        Deliberately Balkanised Britain says:

        Oddly multiculturalists like Dave all live in areas like Notting Hill or Hampstead and Highgate, and as such, never experience the wonders of multiculturalism up close and personal. Why not move over to Brent Dave or Tower Hamlets, Peckham, Deptford, Lewisham, New Cross, Tottenham, Woolwich, Plumstead, Willesden, Harlesden, Southall, Brixton, Thornton Heath, Mitcham? Experience the constant sound of police and ambulance sirens in the far and close distance, all day every day. The sound of gunshots on council estates and stories of stabbings in your local paper, every week. Live in those places and watch people shitting in the streets and throwing food off of their balconies, put your children into schools where their face is the only white one and your child is the only one to have English as a first language, then tell everyone what a blessing multiculturalism is and how “vibrant” it has made our lives.


  29. 74
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    I’d blame the unions – now its British Gas’s turn :


    • 102
      Steve Expat says:

      ha ha – this could be like 1979 all over again – Darling will even present his Budget tomorrow with everyone in the Treasury out on strike!


  30. 75
    Hugh Janus says:

    Email from the Sunlight Team following the Byers petition to Her Maj:

    Dear Friend,

    Thank you for signing our Fire Byers! petition.

    In just 24 hours more than 4,250 of you have demanded the Queen strip the disgraced Stephen Byers of his Right Honourable title and membership of the Privy Council. We will be delivering the names to Buckingham Palace.

    The Sunlight Centre for Open Politics is an anti-corruption campaigning group with a long term goal of achieving an open and transparent British political system. We have had many successes recently, including triggering the police investigation into Jim Devine MP, and a number of Parliamentary Standards Commission investigations. Our research department’s policy paper, Disinfecting Parliament, has been studied and requested by numerous bodies including the Kelly Inquiry, the new expenses panel IPSA, and the Tory policy team. You can buy or download a copy of Disinfecting Parliament.

    The Sunlight Centre’s work is dependent on kind donations from our supporters. We would be extremely grateful if you are able to help us out and further our campaign toward an open and transparent Westminster by giving even a small donation. We will be sure to keep you informed all our work. We have some excting (sic) projects at the moment as well as ongoing investigations. We will very soon be shining the light of public scrutiny onto the Rt. Hon. Gordon Brown MP…


    The Sunlight Team”

    So, what have they got on McBust then? Apart from his terminal stupidity and his non-existent second home of course? Do tell!


    • 107
      Steve Expat says:

      Guido’s definitely got something on Brown that he’s saving up for the election – not long until we find out exactly what it is…


      • 159
        Mr Slater's Parrot says:

        (flapflapflap) FLASH-CLICK!!! (whirrrr) FLASH-CLICK!!! (whirrrr) (whinny) (squit)


  31. 82
    BBC Radio Five Live is a fucking despicable socialistic commune of cunts says:

    The hard left Socialistic, smearing, lying, bullying gang which surrounds Brown simply have no self awareness at all.

    How can the lying thug Whelan think the wider public will find Balls attractive?
    Why does the Brown henchman and smearing bully Balls, think he is an attractive option to the British public?

    Sure he says all the right things, and isnt as insane as Brown, but he’s been at the centre of Brown’s insane, maladroit, financially ruinous regime from year zero.

    Does not being insane qualify you as the Union fat cat’s choice?


  32. 83
    Dave H. says:

    How did Gordon get away with lying to Chilcot, then lying about the lie to Parliament (‘one or two’)?


    • 103
      Engineer says:

      Nobody bothered to demand an apology for Gordon’s lies because nobody was at all surprised. It was merely official confirmation of what everybody knew anyway.


  33. 87
    Cherie Blair says:

    Good help the party if Balls is elected leader of the party. Let’s face it no one will be able to do what my Tony did for the party & the country!! I can hear you all cheering & agreeing with me as I pen these words.


    • 91
      Ed Cojones says:

      Shut it.


    • 94
      Bill says:

      So Blair favours Milli-Mossad

      The boy still et behind the ears

      A joke in international circles

      And Whelan prefers Balls

      A man hated by civil servants and most of his own side and anyone in the public who has had the misforntune to come across this arrogant, bullying and ignorant ass…

      Who is also as loyal to his Labour collegaues as Madoff was to his clients..

      But I know who will win

      Should be fun…


      • 182
        Summer_Breeze says:

        Balls has to be re-elected first and that’s not going to be as easy as he thinks. Is it? I hope not anyway.


    • 96
      John Terry is snide and untrustworthy says:

      Your Tony destroyed the party for his own selfish reasons- money. He’ll always be remembered for the war, for being a puppie to Bush and for his incredible hypocrisy – oh, and also his man boobs.


      • 223
        Catholicism is a Cult,Christianity is a faith. says:

        And a weak man who sold his kids out to Catholicism to please his slotgob missus.
        Tony Balir being a convert says a lot about him and the church.
        Hitler,Mussolini,Franco and now Blair, all Catholic.
        Birds of a feather and all that.


    • 99
      Bob says:

      At one stage Geof Hoon was the chosen successor of Blair

      wuif wuf


      • 111
        Steve Expat says:

        Better choice than Gordon Brown


      • 252
        Peter Madnelson says:

        I’m a meat and two veg man myself. Gone off custard recently though.

        Still laughing that no-one has asked for my suspension while my chums are investigated. You are all so pathetic.


  34. 108
    Anonymous says:

    the one who’s not a c’unt. Happy?


  35. 110
    nell says:

    Let’s remember for Balls to take over as Leader of the Labour Party he has first to get rid of gordon.

    Meanwhile gordon is planning to make balls his next chancellor.

    Then again balls has got to win his new constituency before he can become chancellor or pm or leader of the labour party.

    He could go from aspiring the highest office in the land to contemplating a job with the local bin men overnight on the 6th May or June whatever, depending when gordon plucks up enough courage to call an election – we shall just have to wait and see.


  36. 117
    John Major Former Prime Minister says:

    This is effing magic!
    As long as everybody is talking about amateurs like Hoon and Byers they aren’t talking about me and the Saudi Royal Family and how we supplied them with the kit to kill their own citizens and how that led to the creation of AlQaeda and at the same time how we were happily supplying long range weaponry to Saddam Hussein and all that stuff.
    This is bloody great.


    • 153
      Captain Flasheart says:

      It’s pretty typical of NuLiebour to divert attention of todays inept government by blaming a past one.
      I recommend a 9mm lead painkiller and a long lie down.


    • 175
      Sir William Waad says:

      It’s a very, very long stretch from selling arms to the Saudis to being responsible for al-Qaeda. Your first problem is to demonstrate that the kind of high-end military hardware that we sell is useful in oppressing civilians – as opposed to, for instance, hand guns, tear gas and batons.

      Your next problem is to show that the formation of al-Qaeda was primarily a response to perceived oppression in Saudi Arabia. This seems unlikely, considering that Saudi is much the kind of Wahhabist Islamic theocracy that al-Qaeda would like to establish everywhere, or least within the Dar al-Islam.

      Your final problem is to blame John Major for Blair’s decision to attack Iraq.

      If you can work all that out, you can buy yourself a pint of Guinness and drink it through your bottom.


      • 277
        Unsworth says:

        Elegant, if a touch conciliatory. I’d have told the idiot to fuck off. Actually I will.


    • 227
      Catholicism is a Cult,Christianity is a faith. says:

      Have to agree the LibLabCons are ALL wankers but let us deal with the job in hand please.


    • 278
      Unsworth says:

      Fuck off, prat. You really don’t understand anything. When’s the next Giro due?


  37. 119
    The which is Blair Project. Tony Cameron says:

    “Tough on Lobbying tough on the causes of Lobbying!” *

    *(Soundbite does not apply to close friends of Dave like Sir John or the dozens of Conservative candidates already working as Lobbyists. The value of your Blair clone can go down as well as down. If you do not pay attention your principles may be at risk)


  38. 122
    Ian Cooper says:

    Bollox can’t be PM, his cock is so small he makes Prescott look like John Holmes.


  39. 129
    David Cameron says:

    We want an Inquiry into the behaviour of those amateurs Byers and Hoon but we don’t want to introduce any blocks or scrutiny regarding lobbying.
    Are you sure that’s right Lord Aschroft?


  40. 131
    MI5 says:

    The Labour Party are the anti-poverty Party

    In Mandelspeak that means :

    Make all our MPs, Minister, Peers and c ronies filthy rich

    And double the national debt to create a massive Ponzi scheme to fool the electorate

    Until the bubble bursts and leaves more poor in Britain that when they started

    Labour = the greatest stinking hypocritical fraud in British History


    • 152
      Lord Fondelbum of Boy says:

      When I said that I was intensely relaxed about people getting filthy rich, I quite obviously didn’t mean THE people.


    • 276
      Gordon Brown says:

      That’s why i doubled the 10% tax rate. It was the right thing to do.


  41. 135
    Jack says:

    If Balls goes on like this, I think he is going to have some serious trouble…


  42. 137
    Phoney Bliar says:

    Speaking as a duplicitous, mendacious, pretentious, emoting, and thoroughly on-the-make loorya, I created Noo_Lie_Bore in my own image.

    Everyfing follows from that.

    Gorgon was my finance man – look what he’s done wiv the economy.

    All the others were carefully picked as well.

    But me ‘n the missus – we’ve done well out of it.

    Be a loorya ‘n join Noo_Lie_Bore I say.


    • 158
      I am the Heir to Blair (hear my soundbites roar!) says:

      And I learned everything I know from you Tony

      Did you ever know that you’re my hero ?
      and everything I would like to be?
      I can fly higher than an eagle,
      ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

      It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
      but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
      I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
      I would be nothing without you.


  43. 154
    cromwells ghost says:


    who fecking cares?

    THEY ARE ALL LABOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  44. 164
    Sir Fred the (reformed )Shred. says:

    Can I return home yet ?


  45. 166
    Geordie Scoot says:

    Right, now that the Blairite revisionist lap=dog running-cur cadre has been vanquished, isn’t it time for someone to fetch themselves up to chez Byers or Hoon with a notepad and sharpened pencil and get them to dish the full dirt before they get visited by the “David Kelly” brigade from MI5? Forget Hewitt, no-one would believe her anyway and Moran is obviously out of her intellectual depth, in which an amoeba would be scarcely submerged. What have they got to lose?


  46. 169
    purpleline says:

    This tells us just what Labour MP’s are like character references for her second cousin the Drug dealer and Gangster.

    You really could not make it up! Sacker her with immediate effect.


  47. 171
    Geordie Scoot says:

    PS – Chilcott could invite Hoon back and ask “is there anything you wish to add to your previous testimony?”


  48. 172

    My Prime Directives;

    1.”Serve the public trust”
    2.”Protect the innocent”
    3.”Uphold the law”


  49. 174
    Anonymous says:



  50. 179
    The Dirty Rat says:


    • 216
      streamfisher says:

      Thought so, its all the fault of the CBI, good job Balls put his foot down and refused to go further. (purveyors of software to H.M. Government) should make lying so much easier but unfortunately for him Balls is a compulsive liar but not a convincing liar.


      • 240
        Scotty says:

        Unlike Lord Adonis who has lying down to a fine art.


        • 253
          streamfisher says:

          Anybody who gives themselves the handle of Adonis has got to be a serious narcissist, he is so in love with his reflection he can believe anything he says.


    • 274
      Gordon Maxwell Brown says:

      The working class can kiss my arse, i’ve stolen their pension fund at last.


  51. 185
    26 point lead. Gone says:

    Cameron needs to explain why the 26 point lead of voters who were going to vote for him has melted away

    Because it certainly isn’t because Brown is any fucking good.


  52. 188
    The Invisible Man says:

    You ain’t seen me
    Right ?


    • 193
      The Dirty Rat says:

      I like the way that DC has told him that there is no way he is going into the Lords.


      • 197
        The Invisible Man says:

        I like the way Dave bravely refuses to deselect him.
        A man of principle is Dave.


        • 245
          Scotty says:

          a stupid move by dumb dave, it will come back to bite his arse


        • 275

          He doesn’t need deselecting – he isn’t standing again.

          Dave’s already said that it’s pointless withdrawing the whip for the fortnight or so before the dissolution – a calculated move aimed at making Brown’s actions look vindictive and sectarian to Labour supporters.

          If pushed, Dave will withdraw the whip, while pointing out that it’s an empty gesture – he wins all round.


  53. 190
    DON says:



    • 200
      Engineer says:

      Those in the private sector, who have already been heavily slashed, certainly will.

      The public sector costs £617 billion this year. Taxes raise about £440 billion. So the public sector has to shrink accordingly. There ain’t no choice.


  54. 194
    Sir William Waad says:

    What’s Mandelson doing advertising Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (see above)?


  55. 198
    1984/25 orwellthatendsbadly says:

    Caveat Shitor – Let the Byers beware. Byers – not quite sties but still full of crap.


  56. 201
    The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

    I will be nursing a “semi” on election night as Ed Testicles enjoys his Portillo moment
    A member he indeed may be but he ure isnt honourable


  57. 202
    NICK G IN DA HOUSE says:

    thanks for the massive votes yeah


  58. 206
    yuk says:

    Children’s charity boss and Labour Party activist turns out to be a scouse pervert……..


  59. 208
    Ed Balls says:

    Come on you bastards, who is giving my old lady a seeing to?


  60. 209
    Hairy Palms of Hamstead says:

    Now when I type ‘Balls’ into my porn search engine I get a picture of a cu*nt.
    Hows that work out?


    • 211
      Steve Expat says:

      Because he is one?

      O/T David Milliband speaking about fake passports now in the Commons.


      • 221
        streamfisher says:

        How many 100’s of thousands has he issued so far?


        • 251
          Under a flower pot at the bottom of the garden until that c'nt brown calls the General Election says:

          Only if they promise to vote LieBour


      • 247
        David Milliband says:

        For any Labour MP needing to leave the country in a hurry before the post-GE police investigation of 13 years of Labour Government is published……speak to me for new papers.


    • 282
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Balls: Doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused

      Doctor: Hardly surprising. You’re a c.unt


  61. 215
    Anonymous says:

    “Blame Blairites If Labour Loses”

    That’s not just the Balls line, it’s also the BBC line too.

    The BBC and labour are both blaming:
    1) Thatcher for the BA strikes.
    2) Blairites for the expenses and lobbying corruption/fraud.
    3) The tories for the banking collapse.
    4) The americans for the recession.
    5) The head of an anti-bullying charity for Brown being someone with the mental capacity of a tantrumming 2 year old.
    6) Dr Kelly for starting an illegal war.
    7) The military for soldiers having to buy their own kit, and then dying when they can’t afford it out of their own pocket.

    You couldn’t make this stuff up; labour/BBC really are both evil incarnate. If this kind of evil lying shit had been done when the tories were in power, the BBC would have been in a 24/7 emergency broadcast mode and they wouldn’t have stopped until Parliament had been disolved.


    • 220
      Engineer says:

      Balls, “It wasn’t me. It was a bigger boy who did it and ran away.”



      • 230
        streamfisher says:

        When I was younger we were forever kicking Balls over the garden fence into next doors, the neighbours couldn’t understand why we never asked for it back.


  62. 225
    marcus aurelius says:

    cast Iron Dave, can you hear the British people?

    They expect you to promise the harshest retribution for these traitors – by the way that includesall those responsible for the Lisbon Treaty


    • 238
      Catflap says:

      The politicians and Lobby hacks as well as senior civil servants have all been pissing in the same pot for too long.
      The whole shit and caboodle continue to stab and strangle each other without realising the public have shoved them over a cliff and they are now in freefall.


      • 285
        McGroom says:

        Did you notice how there was no comment about Byers et al from the NuLiebore apologists in chief, namely Nick Robinson, Kevin MacQuire and Michael White.

        After the selling influence for £3 to £5k a day (Lobbygate) scandal, even these serial self deniers cannot find words to defend the indefensible.

        They now realise the game is up and their career propects after the 6th of May look about as rosy as McBride, Draper, Byers, Hewitt, Hoon, Devine, Chaytor, Morley, Uddin, Scotland, Blackburn, Truscott, Snape and Moonie, Moran, Mandelson, Balls, Cooper, Harperson, Darling and especially Brown.



    • 246
      Dave says:

      Mee ow


  63. 236
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    I’d really love it if Balls were the one responsible for getting Byers et al suspended from the party.

    Then the newspaper headlines could read “Labour MPs suspended by Balls”


  64. 244
    Bang A Girl Gang says:

    Miliblink v Blinky Balls

    Bring it on, Charlie Wimp


  65. 255
    McGroom says:

    Jim Callaghan was another unmandated Labour Prime Minister who took over from the popular, charismatic and flawed Harold Wilson. Following unrest from the unions in the winter of discontent, Callaghan pushed Labour into the wilderness for 18 years.

    Gordon Brown has inflicted significantly more damage on the Labour Party than Callaghan and it will likely be more than 18 years before we see another Labour Government.

    Poor old CooperBalls will be remembered as the political ASBO thugs of Gordon Brown’s unmandated premiership.

    History will not be kind to these Hoons and Chumps


    • 268
      Lizzie says:

      We can but dream………..hopefully we never see the likes of Brown and the Brownies ever again.


  66. 262
    Mitch says:

    Poor edwin bollox, him and his androgynous partner with the shrieky voice and idiotic opinions(probably got ginger kids too) will be remembered for consigning lab to oblivion. Can anyone really imagine voting for Balls ?……no thought not.


  67. 265
    Lizzie says:

    Who gets the jag?


  68. 272
    The Court of Public Opinion says:

    Isn’t it funny how every time the right honourable ed balls name comes up someone pops along to remind everyone he wore a nazi outfit and put in a claim for £33 for poppy wreaths – in effect, making the countries real heros pay for their own flowers?

    It getting like Private Eye with the Brillo-vest-bird photo:


  69. 273
    QWERTY says:

    Balls you are a mad eyed fucking fat wanker married to a fucking pig that looks like a 9 year old boy. Fuck off and die of Cancer you fucking KKUUNNTTEEEE


  70. 286
    Kev. says:

    I do hope Balls runs for the leadership. I so want to see Old Holborn reveal what he has on the twat.


  71. 289
    angelnstar says:

    David Miliband is an absolutely useless Foreign Secretary. That couple captured by pirates are still in captivity! I suppose he thinks, “Oh Well!”

    He is absolutely ineffectual.


  72. 290
    Article 38 says:

    Neil Kinnock’s labelled Byers, Hoon and Hewitt as ‘repulsive’.

    Remind me please – how many salaries and pensions do he and Glenys get?


  73. 298

    […] whore themselves out or some permutation of all of the above featured on Tuesday.  Amusing bits of gossip about Balls and Michael Foot capped off the day, Guido was particularly proud of the […]


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