March 22nd, 2010

Fire the Liar : Strip Byers of “Right Honourable”

Membership of the Privy Council is what entitles one to be addressed as “the Right Honourable”. When Stephen Byers was made a member of the Privy Council he swore “by Almighty God to be a true and faithful Servant unto The Queen’s Majesty as one of Her Majesty’s Privy Council … And generally in all things you will do as a faithful and true Servant ought to do to Her Majesty.” Surely whoring yourself out to change Her Majesty’s Government’s legislation “like a taxi cab for hire” falls outside the terms of this Oath?

Being a member of the Privy Council is a great honour, it is the oldest political institution in the land after the monarchy itself, tracing its history back to the Norman monarchs.  Byers’ continuing presence on the Council sullies the institution, so given he is unlikely to resign himself he will have to be removed.  It is still possible to petition the Queen to have him removed and Guido has set up an online petition to do just that:

“We, the undersigned, call on Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, to strip Stephen Byers MP of his membership of the Privy Council due to his involvement in offering to sell access to the British Government for personal profit.”

Click here to sign the petition.

UPDATE : 318 signatures in less than an hour. 756 in less than two…


  1. 1
    Taxi says:

    He’s a very expensive cab

  2. 2
    English Viking says:

    Can’t we just shoot him instead?

  3. 3
    Captain Black says:

    And you could sack that cnut Lord P*** at the same time.

  4. 4
    Clarence says:

    Lord Paul is a Privy Councillor, too.

    At least Byers was democratically elected.

  5. 5
    resurgemus says:

    Wonder if Mandy has a daily rate ?

  6. 6

    Can’t believe I’ve wasted 13 years on the opposition benches just claiming a few 100k a year for expenses.
    Can’t wait to get into office where the real money is being made.

  7. 7
    hmm says:

    10p for blow job
    10p for full sex
    5p for rimming


  8. 8
    Anonymous says:


  9. 9
    Augustyn says:

    Tesco and National Express seem to be absent from Byers’ entry in the Register of Members’ Interests. Hmmm.

  10. 10
    jgm2 says:

    Aye. You could hire a Learjet for that kind of money. Fly Ashton to Brussels on a daily basis the better to make an incompetent arse of herself.

  11. 11
    Lord Mandy of botstopper says:

    If you have to ask the price you cannot afford me

  12. 12
    Trotsky to Trotter says:

    Byers was member of Militant Tendency in the 80s.He must be made an example of.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Light the blue touch paper, stand well back.

  15. 15
    Mrs. Pratt says:

    Will he have to pay it back? And go to prison?

  16. 16

    I’m looking forward to heading the quango that cuts down on quango’s, there’s definately money to be made on a results basis.

  17. 17
    Scabby Cabby Byers says:

    I am and always will be a Right Honourable Honourable Genitalman.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Hmm.. Interesting idea, but I suspect about as useful as petitioning Her Maj the Queen to announce that the Pope is head of the Roman Catholic Church and that she can confirm that bears do indeed shit in the woods…

  19. 19

    I’ve signed the petition.

    Byers has to go. We are not a banana republic. (Although Labour clearly would like us to be one).

  20. 20
    Hmmm... Betty says:

    Don’t think the Queen is stupid enough to get embroiled in Party Politics somehow.
    Maybe Charlie or Phil would.

    Lords still remain Lords after even more egregious stuff after all.

  21. 21
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:

    I think you meant ‘Hoonarable’.

  22. 22
    Gordon ( SoldGoldAtThe ) BottomBrown says:

    I’m on nine ‘nanas a day now !!

  23. 23
    Engineer says:

    Right Hoonerable?

  24. 24
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Can I have an each way double on Byers and Paul?

  25. 25
    pete-s says:

    So is Lord Paul a Privy Councillor, he is a non dom and does not pay full U.K. taxes. Why not include him in the petition?

  26. 26
    Engineer says:

    Damn – beat me to it by a minute.

  27. 27
    purpleline says:

    Guido can we do more of these petitions for Lord Paul?

  28. 28
    Ruth Kelly's plaything says:

    Have signed. However ineffective it may be in deposing Byers, it’s another way for us angry voters to express our disapproval of these swine.

    Thanks for the opportunity, Guido.

  29. 29
    He's Spartacus says:

    Steady-on. As you like to say, qui bono?

    Don’t do Brown’s dirty work for him.

    Stop taking things at face-value and you might have a better product.



  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Hang him – rope is re-useable!

  31. 31
    rope says:

    By queen, I presume you mean Mandy.

  32. 32
    Hang The Bastards says:

    CROSSHAIRS for Byers.

  33. 33
    a joke says:

    GB doesn’t think anyone has done anything wrong ‘no need for government inquiry’ – what a complete pratt.

    Bear in mind that these are the only ones who have been caught – I would love to know who else engages in this lobbying.

    May explain all the millions for mps who have had no other way of getting it.

  34. 34
    Labour are criminals says:

    Stephen Liars, Margaret Moron, Patricia Blewitt and Geoff C/unt should all be in prison. Bunch of fucking criminals. This is hands down THE worst government in British history. The Thatcher and Major governments had their share of scandal but they were rank amateurs compared to this rabble. New Labour has been systematically corrupt for the last 13 years and they deserve to be wiped out at the election.

  35. 35
    Buster_Gasket says:

    I have signed. It’s not a complete waste of time. Not only does this (with enough signatures) send a strong signal to the slime-ball and his fellow troughers, but it is also one of the dwindling number of freedoms left to us, and deserves to be exercised.

  36. 36
    Margaret Three-More-Grands says:

    I also suck for £20 a go.

  37. 37
    Where's Gordon says:

    How come Gordon has not withdrawn the party whip from Hoon, Hewitt, Byers and Moran?

  38. 38
    Jib jab says:

    Guido – I wholly agree with the sentiment, but Queenie won’t go for setting the precedent.

    When people like Jeremy Thorpe are still on the Privy Council (for life!), you can see how this would open a whole can of worms.

    Best way to take this is to call the old Bill and make a point- by-point complaint listing all the laws you think he’s broken…

  39. 39
    Hmmm.. Betty says:

    Nor do I mean any of the shadow cabinet.
    I mean the rich old woman with the dysfunctional family and the corgis.

  40. 40
    The IMF is coming says:

    Lest one forget – Byers was involved in the ‘Phoenix Five’ deal that ‘saved’ MG Rover.You remember, the one where MG was asset stripped by the owners and sold to a Chinese company with huge jobs losses and 5 huge settlements.

  41. 41
    dog says:

    shit it’s Thorpe!!!
    run for it!

  42. 42
    pete-s says:

    While those with good contacts are trying to find linkages with Byers and sensitive contracts, might want to see any linkages between Blair, Metronet and appointments and contacts with financial companies that financed Metronet.

    Remember the Labour gov forced through this contract against all advice.

  43. 43
    a joke says:

    it is the pompous way they think they are worth that amount of money and the way in which big business are aving to court this bunch of morally bankrupt nutters to think they can get anything done.

    the whole system is rotten to the core and the expenses was just the beginning. It will not sit right with me until a lot of Mp’s are made to pay back cash, not get huge payoffs etc – any of them donating to charity etc….?

    They are truly vile. they couldn’t give a stuff what the law was as long as they got money for it.

    if this was any other country we’d be sending the troops in. the whole ‘girls gand’ should be investigated – was moran just guessing when she said that?

  44. 44
    Whitewash says:

    Gordon says no impropriety so no investigation. Go get him Dave

  45. 45
    Tony B Liar says:

    I’m so proud of Stevie, Patsy, Maggie and the Hoonster. Of course, the money they make is peanuts compared to all the lovely moolah I’ve raked in since leaving office. £20m blood money from Iraqi oil. THAT’S real dosh! Real readies! I owe a big thank you to all the dead soldiers and dead Iraqis. They’ve made me and my family wonderfully rich and we couldn’t have done it without them.

  46. 46
    Not very technical.. says:

    O/T slightly

    Much as I can do without Rich and Mark’s cartoons none of the other photo’s now show on my screen. Can anyone offer a technical hint to sort this out

  47. 47
    Dog says:

    Signed and sealed. uaf uaf

  48. 48
    Alexsandr says:

    Is this the same Byers who shafted Railtrack?

  49. 49
    GB - come fly with me says:

    because they’ve done nothing wrong.
    there is no need for an enquiry.
    it started in america.
    it would not be the right thing to do.
    that would mean a labour cut and labour aren’t making cuts, only the tories.

    er – any tips how i can duck out of pmq’s on weds?

  50. 50
    Gorgon Brown says:

    I’m still here. Because it’s the right thing to do. Just like bullying and shoving my secretary out of her chair. It was the right thing to do.

  51. 51
    Labour laughs in the face of working men and women says:

    New Labour’s legacy:-

    It’s the right thing to do
    Because we say it is

  52. 52
    Read a history book once says:

    The precedent is set in history

  53. 53
    Gordon Brown et al should be in prison says:

    Labour’s election slogan:

    Vote Labour. We want Loadsamoney! For ourselves, that is.

  54. 54
    Martin Day says:

    You’re forgetting the dead children Tony. Nothing like a bit of mass murder, we are socialists after all! VOTE LABOUR!

  55. 55
    Dennis Skinner dipshit o the north says:

    I never make any cash!!!!!!!!

  56. 56
    Cab For Hire says:

    Hi. I’m Stephen Byers. Hire me like cab. Or ride me like a cab. Either way, just pay me. You can also bugger me for a buck.

  57. 57
    Martin Day says:

    A Future Fair For All!

    Except if you’re poor.
    Or English.

  58. 58
    Dennis Skinner dipshit o the north says:

  59. 59
    Labour's moral compass says:

    Does anyone know where Labour’s moral compass has got to? It was last seen shoved up Margaret Moron’s fat chubby arse.

  60. 60

    Oh it’s the Right Honourable (_:_)rsehole . . . . I stand corrected . . . . .

  61. 61
    backwoodsman says:

    Possibly overlooked in the byers, byers, pants on fires, excitement , is Southamptons’ very own Margret moran and her confirmation that the wimmin are more than just window dressing, they are an organised corruption cartel.

  62. 62
    David Cameron says:

    Ghastly Piece of Filth.

  63. 63
    New Labour's Legacy says:


    It’s the right thing to do
    Because we say it is

  64. 64
    Lord G says:

    No need to duck PMQs. Just answer every question with ‘Ashcroft’… In McRuin world it works every time.

  65. 65
    Rt Hon Stephen Byers MP says:

    I strongly deny the scurrilous allegations that I’m a liar and unworthy of being a member of the Privy Council. And if anyone wishes to argue with me about this, they can get me at

  66. 66
    GB - come fly with me says:

    Cash for questions
    Mps expenses
    Al Megrahi still strolling about
    economy absolutely screwed
    another brave serviceman killed today
    iran still looking to cause mayhem
    relationship with usa at all time low
    huge unemployment
    immigration out of control
    schools, hospitals on their knees with presumably out of control

    and where’s gb?

    giving a talk about free internet access – that’s where.

  67. 67
    Article 38 says:

    You’ll enjoy this one:

    The News of the World (who else could do it so well?) ran a classic story about 8 years ago, detailing how Byers cheated on his long-term partner by having a one-night stand with a blonde Labour councillor.

    Read on…

  68. 68
    Rotten from top to bottom...the Labour Party says:

    List of declarations made with respect to treaty No. 173
    Criminal Law Convention on Corruption

    Status as of: 22/3/2010

    Article 12 – Trading in influence

    Each Party shall adopt such legislative and other measures as may be necessary to establish as criminal offences under its domestic law, when committed intentionally, the promising, giving or offering, directly or indirectly, of any undue advantage to anyone who asserts or confirms that he or she is able to exert an improper influence over the decision-making of any person referred to in Articles 2, 4 to 6 and 9 to 11 in consideration thereof, whether the undue advantage is for himself or herself or for anyone else, as well as the request, receipt or the acceptance of the offer or the promise of such an advantage, in consideration of that influence, whether or not the influence is exerted or whether or not the supposed influence leads to the intended result.

    British government response:

    The United Kingdom also wishes to maintain its reservation made in accordance with Article 37, paragraph 1, not to establish as a criminal offence all of the conduct referred to in Article 12. The law of the United Kingdom covers much of the conduct referred to in Article 12 but only in so far as an agent relationship exists between the “influence seller” and the person influenced.


  69. 69
    James B says:

    Lance Price on Jeremy Vine show, Radio 2, defending Byers et al against Tory sleaze from twilight days of Major’s government. Partisan or what?

  70. 70
    Labour's election theme song says:

    Money Money Money, We love money, In New Labour’s world. Money Money Money, Always sunny, In New Labour’s world.

  71. 71
    Lord G says:

    Where’s Nick Robinson on all this?????

    Surprisingly his blog still has an Ashcroft story. Hasn’t he had enough time to toe the line yet????

    Useless shower

  72. 72

    Do Blears shit in the woods?

  73. 73
  74. 74
    John Prescott says:

    I offered my consultancy services to McDonalds but they told me that a fat greasy c/unt is not the kind of person they want associated with their brand. Cheeky sods. But I do love their Big Macs. I have one in bed every night before I go to sleep. Pauline hates it when I say “This is better than sex” in between mouthfuls. But it is. I can’t lie.

  75. 75

    Consolation is .. he was really shit.
    If anything he moved a few undecided away from Labour.

  76. 76
    Kevin Maguire says:

    Stephen Byers has done nothing wrong. And that’s all I have to say on this matter. Now, can we get back to talking about Tory sleaze from the 90’s? That’s much more relevant.

  77. 77
    Gasp! says:

    Could it be? that you have turned over a new leaf Tom?

  78. 78
    Jan says:

    Matthew Taylor on the Daily Politics saying that ex ministers were naive to talk to lobbyists.Ni….blooody …..aive?? Spin spin spin spin.What did Neil say ??Naff all. The Daily Politics has a new set.Should include fireside chairs,cocoa and slippers.This ‘show’ is light entertainment.It is NOT a serious political show. Neil and Coburn are far too cosy with the people they chat to. There is no interviewing. Neil is becoming more like David Frost every day.I suppose when Frost pops his clogs Neil will be able to take over on Through The Keyhole.That’s just about his standard. He really is the pits now.

  79. 79
    MI5 says:

    So NuLabour have made influence peddling LEGAL


  80. 80
    Charlie says:

    Don’t you think I’ve got enough to do without signing a fucking useless online petition?

  81. 81
    Harry the Camel says:

    I have signed too, and for the same reasons.

    It may not be ultra-effective but it in fact one the last channels left for ‘us’, the proles, to get our voice heard.

    Well done Guido.

  82. 82
    Digs digs and stirs the shit says:

    Am I right or am I wrong but I seem to remember something way back in the mist of history some connection with a hit involving Thorpe and a certain jock gangster.

  83. 83
    Stan Butler says:

    Brown claiming Byers has done nothing wrong…

    ‘Gordon Brown is “satisfied” there has been no impropriety on the part of transport and business ministers, so there is no need for an internal investigation, his spokesman said.’ (Source; Sky News).

    If admitting on camera that you have influenced ministers in secret deals and advised companies how to get around price fixing somehow demonstrates no impropriety than what the fuck does?

    This is an open goal for the Tories. PM claims Byers has done nothing wrong. Byers has openly admitted on camera to being a fraudulent piece of left wing labour shit. Played correctly, this could do for Labour what cash for questions did for the Tories in 1996.

    And don’t forget, it’s not just Byers. the lying whore Margaret Moran is a culpable…

    ‘Luton South MP Margaret Moran, off sick since the expenses scandal broke last year, has found herself embroiled in another political storm.

    The MP is accused of offering to influence high-profile Labour colleagues, including the former home secretary, Jacqui Smith, on behalf of a fake company set up by the Channel 4 programme Dispatches.

    Also caught out in the investigation were the former transport secretary Stephen Byers, who offered his services for £5,000 a day, and the former health secretary Patricia Hewitt, who said she had been paid £3,000 a day for such services.

    Margaret Moran has been off sick since last May, when it was discovered she had claimed more than £22,000 of taxpayers’ money to repair dry rot at a house in Southampton, which she had designated as her second home.

    Her spokesman Allan Davies said this morning: “I have been trying to get hold of her to find out what’s happening.”

    Dispatches airs tonight (Monday, March 22) at 8pm on Channel 4.’ (Source; Bedford Today)

    Labour, the party of the criminal, the immigrant and the Chav. A party so fucking corrupt that it now allows it’s MP’s to break the law and not even hold an enquiry. A bunch of fucking scum.

  84. 84
    No 10 La La Land says:

    The Prime Minister has already conducted a full and thorough investigation and has found no evidence of impropiety. All Ministers have conducted themselves with impeccable probity and diligence in putting the public’s interest above any other considerations.
    Now, about Lord Ashcroft………..

  85. 85
    Engineer says:

    On £65,000 per year, you do all right. So do all the others.

  86. 86
    Mister Moon says:

    Over the moon

  87. 87
    Moley says:

    Why does Labour attract so many immoral, corrupt, unpleasant and thoroughly odious politicians; or is it the same in all the other parties?

    Are there any politicians anywhere who faithfully and honestly represent the interests of the people who elected them and no-one else?

  88. 88
    Taylor is a twat says:

    “I’m like a cab for hire – at £5,000 a day.”

    That sounds about as naive as a crack whore in need of a fix.

  89. 89
    Stan Butler says:

    What the fuck do you expect from the BBC? They have been acting like a party political broadcast for Labour on a daily basis for the past 30 years. Left wing climate change supporting gay loving Tory hating EU shagging bastards to a man. If the Tories have any sense they will fuck the BBC over good style once they are in power.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Its beside his fanny magnet.

    And its got reverse polarity.

  91. 91
    Funambulist says:

    Saw it on a stall at Petticoat Lane yesterday. Must have been a fake (like the original.)

  92. 92
    In depth study says:

    If they give politicians a hard time, they’ll have no guests.
    It’s a media version of soixante neuf.

  93. 93
    Chuck Whelan says:

    It’s a relief to have the attention off me for a bit. Now I can sneak into No10 and have my meeting with Gordon. I’ve got another smear campaign lined up I want to run by him and Damien.

  94. 94
    Stan Butler says:

    Probably because Labour attracts so many immoral, corrupt, unpleasant and thoroughly odious people as supporters.

  95. 95
    Sir William Waad says:

    Byers does actually look like an estate agent, don’t you think? I bet he drives some big flashy black object with four-wheel drive and non-functional bits of chrome-plated tubing, called the Daihatsu Devastator or some such nonsense. Looks the sort.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    ER says:

    Sawd awf all of you.

  98. 98
    ian e says:

    No. 452.

  99. 99

    I just *love* how Labour’s best defence is “Oh, I was just lying. I was making it up, to fleece money out of these fools by pretending I was a crook, when really I’m just a fucking liar”. And according to Broon, this is okay!!!

    Worst government ever, worst PM ever, worst fucking anythings, ever.

    A shameful blight upon this country.

    And what does Call Me Dave do? Fuck all.

  100. 100
    ian e says:

    Q1. That’s a definition.

    Q2. No.

  101. 101
    Mister Moon says:

    get flash from adobe

  102. 102
    GB - come fly with me says:

    she didn’t look very sick on the clip i saw – able to go to that meeting. her constituents must be absolutely bloody furious.

    imagine if you had a really major issue you wanted to speak to your mp, were told she was sick and then saw her all sprightly on tv talking about ‘nibbles’ – yuck.

  103. 103
    ER says:

    Don’t you think Byers looks like an estate agent? Present company excepted and all that.

  104. 104
    Sir William Waad says:

    “Cui bono”, if you please. ‘Cui’, dative case of ‘qui’.

  105. 105
    albacore says:

    I believe the universal caution used to be “light blue touch-paper and retire”.
    The whole Lib/Lab/Con menagerie will have to be forcibly retired before we’ll see real justice exacted on their toxic hides.

  106. 106
    augustyn says:

    The Code of Conduct for Members of Parliament
    V. Rules of Conduct
    15. Members shall at all times conduct themselves in a manner which will tend to maintain and strengthen the public’s trust and confidence in the integrity of Parliament and never undertake any action which would bring the House of Commons, or its Members generally, into disrepute.

  107. 107
    Oh and by the way says:

    Black Cab Tart… very funny.

  108. 108
    English Viking says:

    Hit the computer with a hammer, whilst shouting and swearing. Works every time.

  109. 109
    Stan Butler says:

    Ha ha. Your son didn’t get selected as a Labour candidate. Thank fuck. Just shows that even in the Labour Party nepotism isn’t guaranteed to win. Obviously, even the fuckwits in the Weaver Vale Labour group can see what a useless fat prick you were and didn’t fancy your offspring as their election loser.

    ‘LABOUR members put their faith in Halton Brook councillor John Stockton in the battle for the Weaver Vale constituency on Friday night.
    After weeks of uncertainty, following MP Mike Hall’s decision to stand down before the general election, Cllr Stockton secured his place as Labour’s candidate.
    “It was over and done with after the first ballot,” said Mr Stockton, of Norton, Runcorn, Labour constituency secretary.
    “I was the local candidate and that was reflected in the ballot, I know I have the full backing of the constituency.”
    All four shortlisted candidates, including former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott’s son David, ex-Ellesmere Port and Neston council leader Justin Madders, and Labour party policy officer Ben Johnson, found out their fates at a meeting in Frodsham Community Centre, Fluin Lane, on Friday night after a week long postal vote.
    “There were 143 eligible voters, I won the first ballot with 77 votes, 56%, David Prescott was second and the other two shared 20% of the votes”, added Mr Stockton.’ (Source; Runcorn Weekly News)

  110. 110
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    He never answer a question anyway so what is the point. GB answer to everything is blame America or it started in America. And as we all know Gordon is ALWAYS right.

  111. 111
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Did you mean Hoon?

  112. 112
    A tory firm of solicitors says:

    Just got a call from Byers asking for an injunction on dispatches, told him to fuck off

  113. 113
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Oh shit to the last one.

  114. 114
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Skinner to stupid to make a living doing anything other than using his arse to clean the green leather benches.

  115. 115
    South of the M4 says:

    Another day when i will have to tell my kids that Brown’s definition of propriety is not the definition i want them to adopt. At 16 and 14 they may not be politically astute, but they sure can see anomalies in what goes for acceptance in public life, against that which they could get away with. Piss poor government, piss poor PM and piss poor role models.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    “I must have been groaning too loudly because he put his hand over my mouth so the people in the next rooms wouldn’t hear.

    “Then, in his throes of passion, the things he began saying got stronger. Some women might like their men to talk dirty but this was obscene filth. He was, in effect, calling me a tart and getting a kick out of it. He said that he wondered how many other men I had been with and that’s what he was getting off on.

    “It wasn’t just what he said or what he was implying but it was the language he used to express it. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had a man say to me in my life.

    “I had to stop straight away. It just killed all the passion dead. “He asked, ‘What? What did I do?’ He had no idea how cruel he’d been. “I said “What do you think I am? A prostitute or something?’ “

  117. 117

    A future fair for all??

    Surely with Mr Byers still a sitting Labour MP with a whip the Labour slogan shoud be ………………A future fare for all!

  118. 118
    Not very technical.. says:

    Genius – sorted

  119. 119
    Cockney Geezer says:

    Cab = Smash and Grab
    Byers = Billy Hunt

  120. 120
    MI5 says:

    When is the TV pprogramme due to be broadcast ? It will pprobably be even more damaging than we think…

    They are bound to have kept some juicy pieces for the broadcast….

  121. 121
    Sharp teeth,long claws and viscious streak says:

    Neil is a fat old passed it Hunt and needs to be put out to pasture, knackers yard even

  122. 122
    Jack says:

    having the Labour Whip = License to thieve

  123. 123
    Mister Moon says:

    like holding your sagging balls

  124. 124
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Oops should have spelt it differently or been less obvious. Might go and get some lessons from Byers.

  125. 125
    Trinny says:

    Financial markets seem to think we are.

  126. 126
    Mister Moon says:

    an idiot robot

  127. 127
    byers on fire says:

    Alan Partridge really couldn’t have fucked up better.

  128. 128
    Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland says:

    Bog off you sad little people. As if.

  129. 129
    jgm2 says:


    Another corrupt, lying, incompetent Scottish Nu Labour jackass belatedly gets called out as a corrupt, lying, incompetent jackass….

    Fucking beetroot faced thieving fucker.

  130. 130
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Wow you did well to stop at B, I am already at Z and have now started on the Greek alphabet.

  131. 131
    bergen says:

    Apparently the books had to be consulted after the Profumo affair on this point but he did the decent thing and resigned voluntarily.Don’t expect Byers would do the same.

    I also see that Toenails still leads on Ashcroft.The line to take from the bunker must be late today.

  132. 132
    Mister Moon says:

    8pm channel 4 tonight

  133. 133
  134. 134
    Spank Sinatra says:

    You forgot to mention that you give change of £19.99p

  135. 135
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    It was all within the rules.

  136. 136
    byers on fire says:

    A future farce for all, except that we’re already there.

  137. 137
    Fore Player says:


    Of course Brown would be trying to strangle the bloke he was in Cardiff with,or perhaps asking him to sit in a chair so he could throw him out of it,or ramming a Nokia up his *****…and on and on….

  138. 138
    bad news byers says:

    “What do you think I am? A prostitute or something?’ “

    That was plan B love.

  139. 139
    English Viking says:

    It’s not theft, silly, it’s redistribution.

  140. 140
    Brown's a Tosser says:

    Toenails still looking at his last blog and wondering is there anyway it could be retracted or could he blame someone else for writing it and maliciously signing his name to it.

  141. 141
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’d suggest they’re all like that, but Labour have the power, for now.

    The ghost of conservative past was on the radio this morning suggesting that more money should go into scrappage. He sells cars. (Tim Yeo).

    There might be one or two well intentioned MP’s but their colleages probably point at them and snigger.

  142. 142
    OECD says:

    The public has a right to know how public institutions and public officials made their decisions, including, where appropriate, who lobbied on relevant issues. Countries should consider using information and communication technologies, such as the Internet, to make information accessible to the public in a cost-effective manner. A vibrant civil society that includes observers, ‘watchdogs’, representative citizens groups and independent media is key to ensuring proper scrutiny of lobbying activities. Government should also consider facilitating public scrutiny by indicating who has sought to influence legislative or policy-making processes, for example by disclosing a ‘legislative footprint’ that indicates the lobbyists consulted in the development of legislative initiatives. Ensuring timely access to such information enables the inclusion of diverse views of society and business to provide balanced information in the development and implementation of public decisions.

  143. 143
    Carlo Ancelloti says:

    Stephen Byers – £3k-5k a day?! “Roman, when did we sign him; was he on the bench at Ewood?”

  144. 144
    GB - come fly with me says:

    can someone help?

    If the lobbying saved the companies money (for eg the £500 million for national express) – where would that money have gone? would we have benefitted from the tax?

  145. 145


    You have it all wrong. Byers was LYING to his potential client about all his lobbying activities.

    LYING!!! Phew thats ok then

  146. 146
    Dick the Prick says:

    If you have to ask the price then you’re absolutely crackers!

  147. 147
    Minekiller says:


  148. 148
    Martin Day says:


  149. 149
    Mister Moon says:

    shit and I thought it was flash,must get a hammer

  150. 150
    Bill O'Bong says:

    What about McBroon’s bloody slush fund? What about someone discussing THIS outrage? Someone like Toenails, perhaps? Thought not.

  151. 151
    A purely rhetorical question says:

    Nice to see “Pravda” lead item on 1pm news is Obama’s Health Plan getting through Senate. What relevance has this got to ANYONE in Britain ? It’s not as if “Pravda” hasn’t been leading with this since the early morning 6am bulletins and continuously on their News Channel with “live feeds” from their hacks in Washington every 30 minutes

  152. 152
    Sewer of Scotland says:

    Mr Martin now Lord Gorbals Muck of Shitbum

  153. 153
    Thats News says:

    Stephen Byers looks like THIS

    Ideal for his boss, Captain Banana and Banana Boy!

  154. 154

    The was once an MP called Byers
    who claimed to be king of the liars
    its ok to be bent
    when you’re in Parliament
    if your constituents believe your all your flyers

  155. 155
    the hilton says:

    “At a local government conference. In Cardiff.”

    In other words another Newlabia shagfest on expenses.

  156. 156

    The stinking reptile.

    Well done Guido – I’ve posted this on my Facebook page too.

  157. 157
    Mister Moon says:

    The way I got it The Times got the bones of it and Dispatches have the meat.

  158. 158

    his wife likes a big black flashy object too

  159. 159
    Vermin in ermine says:

    Do you mean the traitor that signed away our sovereign independence without so much as a murmer? I wouldn’t hold out much hope for anything other than a condescending letter to the plebs telling them to mind their own business.
    Isn’t Herman Van Rumpey now our head of state? Write to him.

  160. 160
    Biffo says:

    Signed the petition but why can’t I see the comments? Isn’t that in the configuration where you choose what columns to display? Please add that in….

  161. 161
    OECD says:


    Who is to know whether the 500 million was the ‘right’ money. It could have been 525 million.

    Buyer saved 25 million and outwitted competition by means of ‘influence’ possibly.

    That would be corruption even if no money exchanged hands ie COD, but enabling the ‘revolving door’ after the office holder, or his ‘intermediary’ leave public office.

    The internationally accepted test is the ‘before and after’ audit.

    Measure the office holders assets by declaration before and, at an unspecified point up to five years after office, usually flushes out the crooks.


  162. 162
    Postal Vote says:

    Why can’t I upload the links to the wolverhampton university webpages that explain that Sarah Brown got an honorary degree there while nondom donor lord Paul was university chancellor? Paul is now on the privy council, he’s done a reverse Byers!

    Anyway, it can all be found on the WWW …

  163. 163
    My Gran says:

    Bring the house of commons into disrepute. They are all lord Haw Haws

  164. 164
    Dick Tator says:

    A future taxi fare for all (MPs, that is).

  165. 165
    He's Spartacus says:

    This is indeed the political story of the century.

    Socialized heathcare in the USA.

    For anyone who understands America and Americans, the significance of this for freedom and the rights of the individual are insuperable.

    Having lived and worked in the States, I cannot understand how this day has come about. I’m dazed and confused.

    I truly fret for my children’s future.



  166. 166
    Mr G Khan says:

    He knew it was a stitch up from the start,thats why it was only £5000 a day instead of the going rate.

  167. 167
    Borg Gorg says:

    You will all be assimilated

  168. 168
    JamesW says:

    The lying spiv Byers belongs in one of HM’s prisons, not her Privy Council.

  169. 169
    Steve Expat says:

    That be the same “Bozo” Byers, indeed.

  170. 170
    backwoodsman says:

    Possibly another petition, asking Brenda to ‘request’ baron sprigfield that he voluntarily relinquish his title ?

  171. 171
    Stop Funding Labour with my licence fee says:

    But theres nothing wrong LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa. Now about Aschcroft……

  172. 172
    Rumpuoy says:

    Haiku # 200


    Scatter of states shepherded,


    Crows calling in the wind




  173. 173
    Gordon MadBroon says:

    Take it out on the secretary, her Nokia and the photocopier. It’s the right thing to do. Works for me every time.

    By the way, today is a BOGOF day. Buy one, get one free.

  174. 174
    Bang A Girl Gang says:

    We would be delighted to petiton the Queen.


    c/o Margaret

  175. 175
    Abuse of Power says:

    How long has it being going on ?

    It’s the right thing to do.

  176. 176
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    Nice to see an updated price list…..5K a day to buy a Minister . Works out at about a million a year as the lazy c’unts would not work at weekends.

    So if it cost Unite 11 million to buy the Labour Party,what does a peerage cost then? Sir E is thinking of mortgaging his and valuations are difficult.

    Of course I think the price would be discounted because of the shiity company one would be forced to keep.

  177. 177
    Todger Dodger says:

    Don’t mention Madge Moron and immigration lobbying. That’s for the next episode.

  178. 178
    bbc news editor says:


  179. 179

    “A future fucked for all.”

  180. 180
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Nick Robinson – what a clueless waste of fucking Labour-biased space.

    I never listen to a word that twat says. He is always off message or worse spinning some labour fed bollocks.

    He needs to be sacked.

  181. 181
    Steve Expat says:

    Sick enough not to represent the people that elected her, but not so sick that she can’t turn up to meet someone who wants to feed this greedy pig with money.

    Also not sick enough to resign, lest she lose out on the £10k a month income and expenses, and the £40k redundancy payment on May 7th. Filthy fat piggy.

  182. 182
    Anon says:

    Bloody good idea Guido, and while you are at it I think we should also submit these two:

    “We, the undersigned, call on Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, to strip David Cameron of his position as Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition due to him being a Housing Benefit cheat who falsely made entirely unnecessary claims from the public purse to pay interest payments on his very large mortgage for personal profit.”

    and this one:

    “We, the undersigned, call on Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, to stro[ Lord Ashcroft of his peerge due to his involvement in deceiving you, our dear Queen, into proferring a peerage upon him under false pretences and for being a tax evading liar.”


  183. 183
    Del Boy Byers says:

    Stick a pony in me pocket,
    I’ll fetch the suitcase from the van.
    Cos if you want the best ‘uns,
    But you don’t ask questions,
    Then brother, I’m your man.
    Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,
    It’s like the changin’ of the seasons,
    And the tides of the sea.
    But here’s the one that’s drivin’ me beserk,
    Why do only fools and horses work?

  184. 184
    backwoodsman says:

    Hang on, scroll through. This place was troll central over the last few days, when gordons’ Unite problem was unfolding. Today, when blairite plotters are getting the shit kicked out of them, not a single one of the fuckers !

  185. 185
    Hang The Bastards says:

    TAXI for Byers.!!

    (P.S. Byers – what an apt name for a corrupt sleeze bag)

  186. 186
    MI5 says:


  187. 187
    Steve Expat says:

    Fucked for all except the few piggies at the top of the tree.

    Can someone please tell Labour that Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty Four was not an instruction manual!

  188. 188
  189. 189

    Well, Sir WW – what should one expect from a slave?

    Crucify them – it’s the only language they understand!

  190. 190
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:


    When caught in a classic sting, simply claim that you were’ exaggerating your own importance’………….

  191. 191
    Odds Bodkins says:

    Done. Nearly on #1000 aready.

  192. 192
    Margaret Buckett says:

    Hmm. Classy.

  193. 193
    Esther Ranting says:

    I have a carrot that looks just like a Hoon.

    At the General Election I promise to bring back Odd Oders if you vote for me.

    Unless, of course, you know something different.

  194. 194
    Odds Bodkins says:

    1000 it is…

  195. 195
    Maladroit Labour Chump says:


  196. 196

    Is that what he charges or what he’s prepared to pay?

  197. 197
    Abuse of Power says:

    How long has this been going on ?

  198. 198
    Ctesibius says:

    Over 1,000 now. How big would it have to get before HM was forced to act?

  199. 199
    Martin Day says:

    We all hate them together.

  200. 200
    Borg Gorg says:

    knew there was something about Thorpe

    Just to set the scene: in 1979, Jeremy Thorpe, former leader of the UK’s Liberal Party, went on trial for attempted murder. It was claimed that he had arranged for one Andrew ‘Gino’ Newton – an airline pilot – to shoot his (Thorpe’s) alleged former lover Norman Scott. Newton shot the Great Dane which Scott was walking on the moors, but the gun apparently jammed before he could follow up on the intended target.
    There were other matters involved as well, particularly involving financial donations from wealthy businessmen.
    One of the most remarkable aspects of the court case was the summing-up by the trial judge, Joseph Cantley. It was so obviously dismissive – contemptuous, even – of the testimony given by the prosecution witnesses, and so obviously partial to Thorpe that an acquittal was almost a foregone conclusion. Despite this, the jury initially deadlocked at 6-6 before finally coming down on Thorpe’s side. Thorpe’s career was, however, ruined (he had lost his parliamentary seat a matter of days before the trial opened), and he never held public office again.
    The evening of the acquittal, the first of Amnesty International’s Secret Policeman’s Ball productions was being staged in London. The reviews for the first night were less than effusive, with more than one citing a lack of new satirical material in the show. This prompted Peter Cook (whose fortunes were at quite a low ebb by that time) to compose a one-man sketch for the second night’s performance based on Cantley’s extraordinary performance the day before.
    Bear in mind that the sketch was written in scarcely twenty four hours, and was still being amended right up to the time that Cook took to the stage in wig and gown to deliver it.
    What followed was almost certainly the zenith of Peter Cook’s career as a satirist, and one of British comedy’s greatest moments. There is scarcely a superfluous word in its seven and a half minutes, and almost every line contains a veritable dagger.
    Below the clip, there is a short explanation of the names Cook uses.

    * Bex Bissell = Peter Bessell, former Liberal MP and failed businessman, who gave evidence against Thorpe in return for immunity from prosecution. ‘Bex Bissell’ was the name of a model of mechanical carpet sweeper.
    * Norma St John Scott = Norman Scott, Thorpe’s alleged ex-lover. The extra joke is the oblique reference to Norman St John Stevas, a particularly camp Conservative MP.
    * Olivia Newton John = Andrew ‘Gino’ Newton, previously convicted of shooting the dog.
    * Jack Haywire = Jack Hayward, millionaire businessman and major donor to the Liberal Party.
    * Nadir Rickshaw = Nadir Dinshaw, businessman, philanthropist and friend of Thorpe.
    * Miriam = Marian Thorpe, Jeremy Thorpe’s second wife.

  201. 201
    Martin Day says:

    Wait a minute mate, I’m here.

    Lessons have been learnt; Stephen made an honest mistake and wants to own up.

    Let’s just draw a line in the sand and move on.

    Its the right thing to do.

  202. 202
    Fuck Gordon Brown and his crooked gang of thieves says:

    This government is such a fucking criminal disgrace. At least they’re only here for another 6 weeks. In the meantime, all we can do is try and have a laugh.

  203. 203
    Biffo says:

    Hope Dispatches is being made aware of the petition & the response it’s getting?

  204. 204
    What are they playing at? says:

    Whats with Channel 4 dishing the dirt on Labour and the muslims all of a sudden?

  205. 205
    Tony B$air says:

    That is only Stephen being Stephen

  206. 206
    Alastair (from the wine bar) says:

    Plusstered as a newt. As usual.

  207. 207
    MI5 says:

    What did Prezza shout when he shagged Tracy ?

    Was it equally urbane ?

  208. 208
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    Sadly, even if it had 60 million signatures, she wouldn’t be forced to act. That’s the thing about monarchies.

  209. 209
    Odds Bodkins says:

    What else would you expect from a fromer supporter of the Trotskyist Militant tendency?

  210. 210
    William says:

    Ditto Cohen and Paul.

  211. 211
    Anon says:

    We will keep them updated but hopefully David Cameron the housing benefit cheat kicked out by tea-time and replaced with David Davis.
    Then the Conservatives will have more of a chance of winning a working majority.

  212. 212
  213. 213
    Squeaker (with ladder) says:

    And I was the Cabbie

  214. 214
    Margaret Buckett says:

    That’s a future Animal Farm for all.

  215. 215

    We do, as a new Government, have to be extremely careful after 18 years in opposition. A lot of people who worked for us, they then go on and work for the lobby firms.

    I think we have to be very careful with people fluttering around the new Government, trying to make all sorts of claims of influence, that we are purer than pure, that people understand that we will not have any truck with anything that is improper in any shape or form at all. – Anthony Charles Lynton Blair

  216. 216
    Steve Expat says:

    500,000th?? :-)

  217. 217
    Anon says:


  218. 218
    Steve Expat says:


    Well done Guido on half a million comments!!

  219. 219
    Nice to see a troll free topic for once! says:

    half of them are tat using different names but he got a good ass kicking the other day and has run off to lick his wounds.

  220. 220
  221. 221
    Rt Hon Gorgon Brown PM (Prime Mentalist) says:

    I’m dooomed! I should have called the election much earlier when I still had a chance! But this new scandal is going to be the final nail in the coffin! I’ll be fucked at the election! What can I do?! The whole “dead baby sympathy interview” didn’t do me any good in the polls! Looks like I’ll have to just cancel the election and implement martial law.

  222. 222
    Borg Gorg says:

    and heres a later one
    In a 1987 libel case, that lying rodent, Jeffrey Archer, falsely denied that he had resorted to a dwarfish prostitute, Monica Coghlan (seen here). Summing-up, Justice Sir Bernard Caulfield seemed entranced by the icy charm of Mrs Mary Archer:

    “Has she elegance? Has she fragrance? Would she have, without the strain of this trial, radiance? Has she been able to enjoy rather than endure her husband Jeffrey? Is she right when she says to you – you may think with delicacy – Jeffrey and I lead a full life? Is he in need of cold, unloving, rubber-insulated sex in a seedy hotel?”

    The jury gave Archer 500,000, and Bernie added on costs of 700,000. In 2001, Lord (as he now was) Archer got four years for perjury at the trial.

  223. 223
    going for gold says:

    I’ll get the millionth!

  224. 224
    Borg Gorg says:

    opps have to wait for Guido to allow the modded 1st one before this one makes sense.

  225. 225

    Anyone want a bung, top-up or union donation whilst I’ve got the taxpayer’s cheque book open?

  226. 226
    Stephen Byers says:

    I’ve got nothing to hide. And if you dare to question my integrity, then drop me a line at

  227. 227
    English Viking says:

    C) A sociopath

  228. 228
    Spank Sinatra says:

    ‘Cabbieat emptor’ is all I can say…….

  229. 229
    Margaret Moron says:

    Anyone want special access to my Girls Gang? For a price of course. They also give great blowjobs.

  230. 230

    I resemble that remark!

  231. 231
    A purely rhetorical question says:

    As per Bagehot the Monarch is personally unable to act .She must take advice from her current Prime Minister…so the petition is a sheer waste of time for all practical purposes as Brown is unlikely to recommend such action. I think that a Privy Counsellor would probably only be removed if they are sentenced to prison or committed treason etc.Neither of which is relevant to Byers

  232. 232
    Yes it's me says:

    steve you silly bugger you don’t know when to quit smoking the crack cocaine do you steve.

  233. 233
    Undertaken says:

    your not getting a coffin Hunt

  234. 234
    Unsworth says:

    I’d prefer to get you at home.

  235. 235
    Susie says:

    They’ve got to balance Jon Snow somehow.

    Probably their last gasp of editorial independence before they’re merged with BBC.

  236. 236

    Not really he was too busy reading the menu on the side of the bed

  237. 237
    Undertaken says:

    udders and scotchland

  238. 238
    It'd bring tears to a glass eye says:

    Push thunder thighs down the stairs and see how that plays with Piers.

  239. 239
    Jack says:

    How many Byers does it take to make a Mandelson ?

  240. 240
    concrete pump says:

    That looks like a fuck menu nailed to the front door of a house in Manor Park, Slough.

    Obviously a friend told me about it.

  241. 241
    The Dirty Rat says:


  242. 242
    Mr Ned says:

    yeah right, Even with left of Blair Cameron heading the Tories, the BBC are still making out that the tories are somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan

    With a real conservative in charge they would be apoplectic.

  243. 243
    Eric Pickles says:

    This looks increasingly like a cover up at the heart of government.”

  244. 244
    James Robinson says:

    A Robot in socialist england

  245. 245
    Undertaken says:

    yep. the difference was a few then and the whole gubberment now

  246. 246
    Margaret Moran should be in prison says:

    Margaret Moran would still like to attend events. I sent an email to her and I got this automated reply:

    Thank you for your email.

    Emails are treated in the same manner and with the same level of importance as other constituency communications by post, telephone and fax. My office receives a considerable number of letters and emails every day, so please accept that this has to be prioritised and you will be sent a full reply as soon as possible.

    If you are sending an invitation to your event, please email

    Please note that I am not permitted under parliamentary protocol to take up issues on behalf of non-constituents, so if you are writing as one of my constituents could you please ensure that you have included your name and full postal address. Please also ensure you are a registered elector (check at

    Yours sincerely,

    Margaret Moran MP.

    For up to date news, photos and videos of what Margaret is doing in your area, visit

  247. 247
    Jack says:

    Prezza said

    Uh My Gorballs…

  248. 248
    Mr Ned says:

    Sorry, health and safety decrees that a new rope be used for all executions, as an old rope provides a cross-infection risk. Remember to fill-in the extensive risk assessment and hazard awareness booklets, and make sure that a qualified Health and Safety officer is present with three other H&S representatives. One to hold the pen, another to hold the clipboard and a third to keep the unemployment figures looking like showing signs of improvement.

  249. 249
    Bob says:

    Do you think Byers does funny things with the Chief Whip then ?

  250. 250
    Undertaken says:

    they got a whiff of which way the wind is blowing

  251. 251
    Abuse of Power says:

    And further, Mr Sixsmith was not, in Mr Byers’s view, “a suitable person to remain in government”. And even further, that when the House learnt of what Mr Sixsmith “was involved in”, it would be bound to agree.

  252. 252

    I must admit having a peerage attached to my name has become a little embarrasing, I think I’ll change it to Sir Tony Benn MP :-)

  253. 253
    Mr Ned says:

    Lord Paul is a Privy Councillor fair and square. He paid for his posh and privileged position with his very own worker’s pension funds and I am sure that this is exactly what these workers would have wanted. and finally in response:

    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!
    Lord Ashcroft!

    Can I work for the BBC now?

  254. 254
    cockney christian says:


  255. 255
    KFC Megabucket says:

    Do you mean with that half-inch of bell-end that protuded from his ‘lard-belly’, pull the other, he’s a fantasist!! He would have growled for another ‘growler’!!

  256. 256
    Lightweight Cast Iron says:


    Thank you, I needed that.

  257. 257
    Primus Inter Pares says:

    Shadow minister arrested because of a possible govt leak. Govt Ministers/senior politicans caught red handed acting like petty thieves and Gordon decides no further action needed. Rule Britania… What a pile of shit this nation has turned into.

  258. 258
    barefootcontessa says:

    In the 19th century Byers would be called a – scoundrel.

  259. 259
    Satan says:

    Of course i’m not going to sign the petition.
    I always look after my own.

  260. 260
    QWERTY says:

    I notice the BBC have decided how to spin this story. The BBC are blaming the Tories for being worse and making it political (no!) and the lobbyists who keep wanting to work with brilliant Liebour people.

    Don’t you just love the way the BBC works. NOT!

  261. 261
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    I wish you luck,David

    David Cameron calls for investigation into Martin Day’s influence scandal

    David Cameron has called for a full investigation into claims that Martin Day may have influenced policy on behalf of companies.

  262. 262
    barefootcontessa says:

    Brown envelopes?

  263. 263
    Anonymous says:

    Surely Byers is simply engaging in a venerable, centuries old tradition of using power over others for personal gain? Why should he be fired for doing what the political process is all about? Firing him only makes the others look good when they are just as corrupt but haven’t been caught (or their corruption is seen as ‘service’ by the dominant doctrines of servitude to power)

    And so what if its an ancient institution – doesn’t make it any more important – its still just another institution of control over individuals which any libertarian would oppose as yet another use of force by the state against the majority of individuals.

  264. 264
    The Red Bladder says:

    £5000 to use a privvy? That’s about what it costs to use the bogs at most London rail stations these days.

  265. 265
    Full pay Sicky says:

    Margaret Moran has been absent from Westminster suffering from stress since May last year.

    Surely she should have been be forced to stand down months ago as that stress was brought about by herself.

  266. 266

    Look you lot, Her Maj is having a nap, leave her cabbage-ness alone.

  267. 267
    Jumbo says:

    Anyone else notice the fact that 98%+ of those who have signed have distinctly
    Anglo Saxon surnames? I noticed one Asian name, a couple of Welsh names and a few possible Europeans. Anyone surprised that no-one else gives a shit about democracy?

  268. 268

    I’ve done a calculation to work out where you could travel to in a cab for £5,000.

    Is the answer:

    A. Glasgow
    B. Paris
    C. Valencia
    D. Napoli

    Give yoursevles a pat on the back if you got the right answer.

  269. 269
    Lord Mandelson says:

    Nothing wrong with buying in a privy ,thats where I got Reinaldo.

  270. 270

    […] old friend Guido has an interesting slant on this, regarding Stephen Byers’ membership of the Privy Council. It is clear that his […]

  271. 271

    We would like to announce that Lord Ashcroft must have something to do with either the BA strike or Stephen Byers, as soon as we can find a link, no matter how small, we shall announce it via our official website

  272. 272
    A toilet Trader says:

    Im going long on shorts and down on Peter Mandelson

  273. 273
    One Law for MPs and another for the rest says:

    Man arrested and prosecuted for taking the Biscuit

  274. 274
    OED says:

    It’s terrible how our language has deteriorated over 2 centuries, I mean now he is just called a scabby fucker!

  275. 275
    Monocular Jock says:

    An anagram of ‘Stephen Byers’ is ‘Hey! Press Bent’ and almost ‘He Resents BNP’, its also almost ‘Dirty Lying fucking Labour scumbag cun.t’ but not quite…

  276. 276
    God says:

    Its ok I’ll sign it for you.

  277. 277
    Archer Karcher says:


    Adonis, Lady Mandy, Truscott, Moonie, Lord Gorbals, Snape, Taylor etc.

  278. 278
    O/T 2007 Corruption is a problem all over says:

    Small Beer, but corruption is always a problem in public service.

    Prosecutors in Wuppertal said that around 200 police officers and 50 officials searched British army premises in the towns of Moenchengladbach, Elmpt, Paderborn and Herford. Eight local companies were also examined.

    German authorities suspect that some 21 civilian British military employees (Ministry of Defence Civil Servants) may have taken bribe money in return for contracts for work such as renovating and supplying army buildings.

    A statement from the Wuppertal prosecutors’ office said that payments may have also been made to non-existent shell companies for fake contracts, “costing the British government millions of euros.”

    The statement said British authorities were cooperating fully with German investigators, and that British military police had assisted with the raids.

  279. 279
    Oh Well says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised of Margaret Moran MP didn’t commit hari-kari before the end of the week.

  280. 280
    Moley says:

    So, if MPs are not allowed to take up matters on behalf of non constituents, doesn’t that make any lobbying involving sitting MPs illegal?

  281. 281
    Mr Ned says:

    Ditto, it will not achieve anything, but as above stated. It’s a way of expressing ourselves.

  282. 282
    Great British Public says:

    She’s d claim for the sword first.

  283. 283

    One of the evil doers, Patricia Hewitt was also instrumental in the flood of IT staff from India that has cause so much damage to the prospects of UK IT professionals, especially the on-shoring where staff are ship over to replace British people. She has in the past worked for what is now known as Accenture which by a strange coincidence is also a major outsourcing provider.

    Would any journalist care to dig a bit deeper into this woman’s activities and the destruction she has wrought?

  284. 284
    Summer_Breeze says:

    More proof that you can’t count to ten!

  285. 285
    Click says:

    I hope that doesn’t mean you’re going out
    this evening. Monday night’s dull enough.

  286. 286
    Mister Moon says:

    Brown, buffoon extraordinaire dismisses investigation before he hears the charges. I cannot wait for 8pm. I hope it wipes the floor with him and Byers.

  287. 287
    Bless you says:

    1…2…3…. awwww.

  288. 288
    purpleline says:


  289. 289
  290. 290
    Mister Moon says:

    There is no statutory job description for MPs.5
    The Code of Conduct for Members of Parliament, the
    latest version of which was agreed to by the House of Commons on 13 July 2005,6 is the nearest
    approximation. The purpose of the Code is “to assist Members in the discharge of their obligations
    to the House, their constituents and the public at large”. You can view the Code on the Parliament
    website or purchase a hard copy from the Stationery Office.

  291. 291
    Anon says:

    Also agreed.

  292. 292
    D L George says:

    Ah but would He ever arrive Billy?

    If it takes longer than a day to get there He’s already earned another £5000 so He can just keep going, forever.

    Labour, crap at politics, crap at law, crap at the economy…
    …bloody brilliant at spinning, lying, covering up and lining their own pockets.

  293. 293
    Anon says:

    Not bad.

  294. 294
  295. 295
  296. 296
    Archer Karcher says:

    ZaNuMafia are desperate now, they know in a few short weeks they will be done and dusted. It`s fill your pockets until the fat lady starts singing time and to hell with everything else.

  297. 297
    Pickled Wizard says:

    How come its only these three who have had the spotlight put on them – all vehemently anti broon – were the other labour ~MPs who tried their luck on the new gravy train ‘warned off’ after approaching the dodgy lobbyists? surely they were as guilty of nest feathering?

    This has the smell of mandlepoof all over it, which is why broon and the others are so desperate to avoid an enquiry, save the truth should bubble to the surface.

    Dave needs to push a lot harder and expose the whole fecking lot of them as self centred, money grubbing tick-turds!

  298. 298
    David Cameron says:

    Shall we do a duet?

    Get your mortgage paid for free
    when your claim’s not necessary
    If you’ve got loads of money
    then it’s rather funny
    making interest claims like me
    Why the hell I’m claiming is a mystery
    I am taking the piss
    but you just can’t see
    Here’s the one that will drive you berserk
    I’ve got so much dough I don’t need to work!
    La la la la la la la la la la la la la (to fade)

    Vis time next year Gideon, we’ll be millionaires.
    Oh, hold on, we already are millionaires!
    So remind me again Georgie, why are we claiming housing benefits?

  299. 299
    Anon says:

    Nah, TaT has never posted under the pseudonym martin day.
    That’s a fact.
    Tough luck losers.

  300. 300
    Carpet stains says:

    and the mess her guts (not much of those) will make on the carpet (already paid by us).

  301. 301
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Now we know where Mc Broon has spent all our tax billions…..

  302. 302
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    £5000 taxi fares. It soon will be once hyper-inflation sets in.

  303. 303
    D L George says:

    “anti-hooning legislation also targets hooning behavior wherever it occurs”

    Sadly not in force in the UK.

  304. 304
    Archer Karcher says:

    Credit where it`s due Channel 4 were the first to show a programme debunking AGW too. Somewhere in the MSM there are still real investigative journalist`s, who are prepared to rock the boat sometimes. Maybe it is just to give the impression of impartiallity, given that 95% of their output is leftist fearmongering about the “evil” right.

  305. 305
    Gordon says:

    Well if a Byers is 1/3 of a Smith, which in turn is a Blears x 4 and a Hoon + Hewitt = a Cohen + 1/3 of a McNulty ( taking into account that a Mandelson is 70% of a Blair + 10 Morleys ) well the answer must be…

    Oh bugger, maths was never my strong point.

  306. 306
    udderly 'orrible says:

    “you wont ‘ave to, your mate Darlink is delivering ‘is budget.”
    – Bob Helicopters Aintworthit

  307. 307
    genghiz the kahn says:

    it also spawned one of the worst singles from -Rex Barker and The Richoets-Jeremy Is Innocent.

  308. 308
    They're All a Bunch of Crooks says:

    I wonder how long it will take Nick Robinsom from Al Jabeeba to put this sory of sleaze on his blog? And will he repeat it for the next week or so?

    Answers on a postcard pse…………………

  309. 309
    Rt Hon Thievin Liars says:

    We do various packages.

  310. 310
    DelBoy says:


  311. 311
    Henry's Afterthought says:

    Sadly, I suspect the only forcible retirement likely to work with these parasites would be a salvo of 120 mm projectiles into the Palace of Westminster. No doubt another good reason for keeping so many of our military units outside the UK. I suppose we wouldn’t like the consequences given the character of miltary juntas elsewhere.

  312. 312
    shergar says:

    Now now. Stephen’s said he didn’t do anything wrong. And Gordon’s taken him at his word. I think we need to respect the players involved here. And and…ASHCROFT! ASHCROFT! BELIZE! ASHCROFT! CASHLOFT!

    Do you think this has damaged David Cameron, Nick?
    I think it has, Evan. I think it has.

  313. 313
    DelBoy says:

    Sadly it reflects badly on all politicians of all colours. As we thought – all as rotton as carrots. Bin the lot of ‘em.

  314. 314
    udderly 'orrible says:

    As always red inked in by my English teacher: “Why be using two words when one will do?”

  315. 315
    They're All a Bunch of Crooks says:

    Oh, and Evan, one more thing:

    Think of how depressing it is for the Tories, to once again find Lord Ashcroft the top news stroy. As I said before, this really does hurt the Tories, and the story just won’t go away.

    And back to you Evan…..

  316. 316
    Anonymous says:

    Smart thinking Batman,

    The less we can see of Mandleson, the more likely it is that he’s at the bottom of it all (pun intended)

  317. 317
    udderly 'orrible says:

    So do Milibanana and his likkle bruvva

  318. 318

    […] Guido Fawkes has launched a petition for Byers to be stripped of membership of the Privy Council. It reads: “We, the undersigned, […]

  319. 319

    […] the Commons this afternoon that he “does not know why he would say such a thing” pressure is mounting for Byers to be expelled from the Privy […]

  320. 320

    […] Guido Fawkes has launched a petition for Byers to be stripped of membership of the Privy Council. It reads: “We, the undersigned, […]

  321. 321
    Big Brother Corporation says:

    It’s time for the daily 2 minute hate against that arch traitor Ashcroft.

    Now drink your victory gin you prole scum and all hale Big Brother Brown.

  322. 322
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Been like that since he was kid, stealing from Rev Pa Bruin’s collection plate to buy Mars bars for a fry up.

  323. 323
    udderly 'orrible says:

    “The Home Office was criticised for allowing an “exaggerated impression” of the damage caused by the leaks, which were by an official at the department to Mr Green.”
    ….that would be the boss-eyed, two-bellied, double-chinned, over-promoted domestic-science-teaching, 85p bath-plugging porn merchant who lived in her sister’s box room cupboard, unless I be much mistaken.

    Jackarse, your voters are coming to get ya with tar and feathers, you frightful feckless schmuck.

  324. 324
    Sting's beard says:

    Dont forget the Irish. they still care its just that they dont live in a democracy anymore, bit like Britain really. rest of your comment is bang on!

  325. 325
    udderly 'orrible says:

    No, he’s the head of a non-country called Belgium I’m told

  326. 326
    Sting's beard says:

    A genuine question! If I were a constituent of the said mr Byers and offered him £5k a day to represent my individual opinions in Parliament and the whitehall Quangocracy. Would I have committed an offence.?

  327. 327
    udderly 'orrible says:

    Not even. Jeremy Thorpe MP PC!

  328. 328
    Lord Lucan says:

    This Lord Ashcroft thing is getting to be serious. I mean nobody bigs me up anymore.

  329. 329
    Cant stand Gordon Brown says:

    yea shoot your fucking self

  330. 330
    Mr G Khan says:

    I sense its payback time for the failed ousting of Brown, i wonder where the sting idea actually emanated from ???

  331. 331
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    LOL excellent.

  332. 332
    D L George says:

    More anagrams for the ‘honourable’ Stephen Byers

    By Herpes Nest
    Be Shyster Pen
    Beers Then Spy
    Herbs Teen Spy
    By Peters Hens
    He By Serpents

    and my favourite

    Bent Sheer Spy

  333. 333
    Byers Cabs says:

    I ‘ad a lobbyist in the back o’ my cab the other day. Charged him £5000. Luverly Jubliee.

  334. 334
    D L George says:

    Close enough.

  335. 335
    Hereward says:

    About half the current list of Privy Counsellors should be sacked.

    Take your pick:

    A part of the oath that, for example, Fondlebum seems to have not noticed:

    “and will assist and defend all Jurisdictions, Pre-eminences, and Authorities, granted to Her Majesty, and annexed to the Crown by Acts of Parliament, or otherwise, against all Foreign Princes, Persons, Prelates, States, or Potentates”

  336. 336
    Manse Man says:

    We have a whole generation of politicians dedicated to using their position to enrich themselves – it seems most of them members of the Labour Party. What is happening in Glasgow with the corruption involving Labour city councilors and shady businessmen is appalling. Labour Party corruption has been a feature of life in this country for the last fifty years and nothing has been done about it.

    Drastic action is needed to stamp out corruption in this country. Britain needs an anti-corruption body similar to the Independent Commission Against Corruption that was set up in Hong Kong in the late 1970s to tackle corruption in the police force, civil service and business. The ICAC is independent of the police and political parties, has ferocious powers, and is as unrelenting as a terrier when it detects the odour of corruption. Cash for honours and cash for questions would find politicians in jail in Hong Kong. Taking cash for allowing outsiders to use Parliament for business meetings would also be a criminal act.

    It is disgusting and disgraceful that we have to look to one of our former colonies to learn about how to run clean government.

  337. 337
    EVUR MAW says:




























    HA HA HA




    ROOT 2010









  338. 338
    Anonymous says:

    For more than a year, City Building has refused to release details of the City Refrigeration contracts following Freedom of Information (FoI) requests from The Herald.

    It claims the method used to award them was so novel and unique it constitutes a trade secret and is therefore exempt from FoI.

  339. 339

    Like that equally preposterous, and also retiring, old Trot, Alan Milburn, Stephen Byers has repeatedly been the subject of extravagant praise from Michael Gove. Byers and the rest of those caught whoring themselves may in fact have no influence to sell under Brown. But they certainly would have under the Heirs to Blair.

  340. 340
    Tory Tat of Tat Castle says:

    you must be the seller or you would have used this link.

  341. 341
    LMAO says:

    Is that an executive explanation or a legal one?

  342. 342
    cassandra king says:

    I am No 2422 on the list at1750.

    Labour=pocket lining crooked filth.

  343. 343
    History Dept says:

    You know why we were rationed for nine years after world war two ended? Because of the Labour troughers hogging it all. It took Winny two years to build up food stocks and production to get rid of rationing. Don’t allow them back in or they will eat every thing.

  344. 344
    History Dept says:

    An Elliot Ness would be better

  345. 345
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Too kind – glad to see the classics remain appreciated!

  346. 346
    Monocular Jock says:

    Good work Dave, but I still prefer (with the addition / subtraction of a letter or 2 or so) ‘Dirty Lying fucking Labour scumbag cun.t’

  347. 347
    dave who is called dave says:

    Too damp.

    Petition the queen to set fire to him.

    Or nail the fukker to a tree or something.

  348. 348
    shaunandelly says:

    “You’ll never guess who I had in the back of my Cab the other day..”

  349. 349
    streamfisher says:

    Gonna have to take on more nightsoil men at this rate, just can’t shovel the shit fast enough, Taxi! Taxi!, to the Airport for another freeby in Antigua.

  350. 350
    streamfisher says:

    Untersea boot kapitan Gunther Bruin of the P45 has put us all on rationing for the next 30 years this time.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

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