March 10th, 2010

Sticks in Your Teeth

Never say that Guido is not willing to correct mistakes:

SWINSON, Jo to guido.fawkes
10:03 PM

In answer to the question you posed yesterday on the Guido Fawkes blog at 3:25pm: No.

I only claimed for one item on that receipt, for which as you report the Fees Office declined to reimburse me, a decision which I fully accepted.

As is perfectly clear from the claim form which is available for public view online, I did not claim for any of the other items on that receipt.

To be clear, I did not claim for, indeed have never even considered claiming for, any make-up on my expenses.

In light of these facts, I hope you will agree it would be appropriate for you to correct this posting on your blog.


Jo Swinson

Guy Fawkes to Jo
8:47 AM
What was the item for which you claimed?

Will clarify.

SWINSON, Jo to Guy
9:12 AM

The tooth-flosser.

Nice to know that Jo thinks the taxpayer should take care of her gnashers…


  1. 1
    Bruce Bellend says:

    I’d use her pubes to floss my teeth.

  2. 2

    Hmmm – so what about the waxing strips then?

  3. 3
    thick as thieves says:

    OK then I’l say it


  4. 4
    Phoarrrrrr says:

    She doesn’t get it.
    I’d give it to her though…..

  5. 5
    David Cameron says:

    I will raise rhis question in the House in due course

  6. 6
    Qui Bono says:

    I am prepared to offer her alternate materials for teeth cleaning as necessary

  7. 7
    genghiz the kahn says:

    elementary editing error – should be Gordon IS NOT WILLING TO CORRECT MISTAKES

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Rather too many “clears” in her letter. A “looker” maybe, but she can’t write.

  9. 9
    Billy Blofeld says:

    Wholly and necessary……… love it.

  10. 10
    Qui Bono says:

    Your comment seems to be directly at odds to the above entry ~ pesky facts getting in the way of prejudice.

  11. 11
    Roger Knightly says:

    Nicest set of teeth I think that I have ever come across…

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    You pick the “I would” pic of her, which is nice

  13. 13
    It's all Balls says:

    It was most unreasonable for the fees office to refuse to pay for the tooth flosser.

    When one has a food allowance of £400 per month one needs to be aware of the potential build up of plaque.

    I’m sure that the reason most politicians speak through their arses is because they are ashamed of their teeth.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    I think you should as Jo to explain WTF has tooth floss to do with being an MP?

    Maybe she was planning to garrote someone.

  15. 15
    Mitch says:

    Exactly. If she wasn’t an M.P., she wouldn’t clean her teeth?

  16. 16
    gasp says:

    wow! what a scoop

  17. 17
    Ampers says:

    Well, she certainly looks like she is ready for business.

    If I were 40 years younger…


    PS And richer…

  18. 18

    A looker? You might want to think again:

    1. If she took her dress off – her tits would look like kippers nailed onto a barrel.

    2. Think what Ed Balls would look like in drag. Now look again at the photo of Swinson.

  19. 19
    Martin Day says:

    Right then,I’ll be voting LibDem now
    Their MP’s are good looking

  20. 20
    Diddler the Fiddler says:

    I will have to try claiming for dental floss on my expenses. I look forward to getting a getting a harshly worded memo from the finance director and threats of disciplinary action for attempting to defraud the company from the HR department!!

  21. 21
    alex says:

    What the fuck has her teeth got to with being a MP>

  22. 22
    Hugh Janus says:

    So claiming for a tooth-flosser is OK when public money is involved? Although I haven’t paid for it this time, the fact she saw fit to claim for such an item says it all (and we know she’s not alone in this).

  23. 23
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Well they have wonderful dental hygiene at least MD. Not much in the way of policy though.

    Maybe she uses floss because she can’t get an NHS dentist.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    What a cheek.

  25. 25
    For the good of mankind,please go! says:

    The guy interviewing Brown at the Reuters conference is their Chairman,Niall Fitzgerald.

    I worked with him when he was Chairman at Unilever,indeed he once asked me a question on how I would grow my particular part of the business – very incisive and not a fool. I am surprised that Brown’s minders have allowed him to be interviewed by Fitzgerald.

    Watching him with Brown,his body language shows a man who has no respect for this fraudster.

    He asked Brown the question about mistakes he has made in his career (and Fitzgerald admitted he has made many,ie; launch of Persil Power that was found to actually shred clothes!) and of course Brown simply cannot answer any question and his answer attempts to portray no mistakes on his part but rather on everyone else’s.

    His answers are not answers but simply the ramblings of a very ill man,incoherent and full of the same phrases.

    Brown also does appear to be on something – he periodically stops talking and then re-starts.

    A very sick man – they must be propping him up with all sorts of stuff.

  26. 26
    The Able Seaman says:

    She needs them to lie through.

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Christ on a bike BB! You have just scuppered any fantasy I might have had about taking this strapping wench to my bed (not that she would accept in my case, but I think you get my drift). Ed Balls in drag? Sorry, must rush, some urgent vomitting to attend to….

  28. 28
    LMAO says:

    Message to Ms Jo Swinson. When in a hole stop digging!

    Geddit, you silly little girl?


  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    They’ve got some brass neck, these troughing slags. Rather than keep their heads down and atone for their sins they’re still gorged with a sense of entitlement.

    I can’t think of any way short of a revolution that’ll remove their limpet like grip on the levers of power. You can’t get rid of these people through the ballot box – they’re just replaced by their equally useless facsimiles.

  30. 30
    caesars wife says:

    Admit it guido you like the photo !

    I hope you heard pesto and evannomics on R4 this morning re rock , absolutely class .

  31. 31
    it gets worse says:

    Brown is being shown up for the fraudster and charlatan he is. No wonder our currency is getting screwed again today.

  32. 32
    Thats News says:

    Doesn’t she realise she has made it worse for herself by doing this?

  33. 33
    Tommy Atkins says:

    Glad she owned up, its not just the Fat pigs with their heads in the Troughs, the piglets are at it as well.

    P.S not saying she’s a piglet, more a dog if I’m honest.

  34. 34
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Perhaps we should name this col-gate.

    I’ll get my coat.

  35. 35
    genghiz the kahn says:

    output down, Brown drones on about saving the world and the pound heads southwards, but not in search of the sun.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Works for me – I’m quite into the kipper/Ed Balls look.

  37. 37
    JL says:

    What is happening to the pound? It’s getting absolutely hammered on the markets this morning particularly against the euro and the dollar.

    Britain is clearly the sick man of Europe again.

  38. 38
    Jo (Call me "Flossie") Swinson says:

    Ironic innit, an attractive young woman MP does not claim for make up but a bone ugly mug like GB has us hard pressed taxpayers pay for his slap and someone to put it on.

  39. 39
    caesars wife says:

    sticky auto cue ? as well as mentalist abilities ?

  40. 40
    Swineson says:

    Swinson,lose some

  41. 41
    Hugh Janus says:

    If I were a vet I’d willingly put him down free of charge.

  42. 42
    Ed says:

    Sterling getting battered against the euro and dollar etc etc this morning. It’s even falling against the zimbabwean pound.

  43. 43
    Mitch says:

    Why is it tolerated? Many, many people must answer for this….

  44. 44
    caesars wife says:

    whers your blogg site that was going to blow us all away

  45. 45
    Hugh Janus says:

    Just the mention of Pesto’s name has the off switch operated in record time. An utter and complete prat, puffed-up and useless

  46. 46
    caesars wife says:


  47. 47
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Nicolas Sarkozy is over the side with his Ecology minister and Carla Bruni is getting huge portions of a Parisian banjo player. Meanwhile back in London, Gordon Brown is getting stuck up Mandelsons chutney locker and Sarah is getting a bit of strap-on from a ‘friend’ in Canterbury.
    We just don’t have style do we.

  48. 48
    Hugh Janus says:

    And all the Beeb could find to talk about yesterday was a diversionary story from NuLiebour about insuring dogs. Financial meltdown? What’s one of those then??

  49. 49
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    The pound is heading south faster than Harman’s tits.

  50. 50
    caesars wife says:

    lol :)

  51. 51
    Doc Trough says:

    Doesn’t matter. She’ll never be Prime Dentalist.

  52. 52
    Hugh Janus says:

    Par for the course for NuLiebour. No style – and certainly no substance.

  53. 53
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    She will have to lie through them.

  54. 54
    The IMF is coming says:

    Roll of tooth floss is a quid or two isn’t it?

    Was wondering why they wanted a Budget, then realised they will just make some headline grabbing voter friendly announcemnts making everyone feel better off. Buried in the small print will be the nasty claw back taxes that won’t see the light of day for weeks.
    Apart from attacking the Tories and ‘don’t cut too soon’ what is the Labour economic policy? Don’t think anyone knows

  55. 55
    Steve Expat says:

    Ha ha ha – Looks like Ms Swinson has never heard of the Streisand Effect!

  56. 56
    the Grex says:

    That is perfectly reasonable. I would vote for Ms. Swinson if she was unmade up.

    But would not if she canvassed me with bad breath and spinach in her teeth.

  57. 57
    Why tell the truth? It doesn't matter to Labour says:

    I reckon Brown will have real problems on these debates because he will come across as he just did in that speech and Q&A session at Reuters.

    As the Defence Chiefs said after the fraudster appeared at Chilcot, he is so obviously disingenuous whenever he speaks.

    It will be a question of just how many of the 60 million of us he can fool and will then consequently vote for his thugs.

  58. 58
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Excellent LOL

  59. 59

    Is Sarko trying to save the World as well?

    His Mrs will get banjoed if she isn’t careful.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    So, no claim for butt floss from Limp Dump MP. What does that tell us?

  61. 61
    Steve Expat says:


    Look more closely

    more like Sarah Teather’s younger and taller sister

  62. 62
    Wheeler Dealer says:

    Perhaps B&Q will soon be doing a deal on wheelbarrows – shades of the Wiemar Republic to carry your £’s around to pay for the milk and newspaper.

  63. 63
    The Tooth Flosser says:

    If you id me £5

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    that there’s no such thing as butt floss?

  65. 65
    Amazing what you can get for fuckall says:

    that free paper you get on the bus has it right.labour has lost its vote core

  66. 66

    The election is thursday 6th of may
    my local council has just sent a timetable of events leading up to it
    so there you go !

  67. 67
    Mrs T says:

    This kid really should be running a beauty parlour…

    Not supprising that the country is collapsing with this type of person as an “MP” FFS…

    And the Labour lady MPs let by the thief Foly Follett claiming the nursery facilities are not up to scratch…

    The House of Commons has become a kindergarten..combined with a playground for dishonest gay tossers…

  68. 68
    Ancient Proverb says:

    When in hole stop digging.

  69. 69
    Rigid Chemicals says:

    is there a print shop out there with any info?

  70. 70
    Wikipedia says:

    She feels strongly that new prisons ought not to be built and has been campaigning vocally against the building of a new prison at Bishopbriggs which lies within her constituency. She has said that if a new prison does get built in Bishopbriggs it must not be built cheaply[4], and that it must not be named after the town in which is to be sited.[5]

    Thinks a lot of herself does this gal. Flooth tosser.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Off at a tangent –

    The BBC is carrying a report saying “Senior public servants pay to frozen”

    Should that not be “cut in line with falls in the private earnings. including pension rights, used by the Senior Salaries Review Board for reference”.

  72. 72
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Nice picture Guido. She has a winning smile, as you would expect from someone who uses expensive tooth floss but look at the eyes. They seem a little, how shall I say, dead?

    A politician’s smile starts and ends with the teeth. Try as they might, the insincerity still shines through.

  73. 73
    iain says:

    How’s your self-esteem after reading that comment, Jo?

  74. 74
    Mrs T says:

    Have you looked at Lempik’s diks expenses ???!!!

    He should claim for a complete “makeover”….

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Of course she needs the dental flosser. If she was to go round kissing babies at election time and left tiny amounts of “rations” stuck to babies forehead then feminist mothers may get upset.

  76. 76
    Be an MP says:

    Money for nothing and your kicks for free

  77. 77
    Jack says:

    Is there a beauty parlour in the House of Commons ? Subsidized?

  78. 78

    No it must have been printed in house !

  79. 79
    DarlingforPM says:

    At Last Brown has admitted the mistakes he has made over the last 13 years! namely, The world financial authorities did not listen to what he wanted to do! The sooner this lying piece of excrement is dragged out of 10 Downing street and taken to his delusional world in the asylum where we can be protected from him the better. How is it possible for even 29% of 1000 people polled to want this nutcase to remain in control of the UK?

  80. 80
    Jack says:

    Tossers with flossers

    Not waxers dumb bum…

  81. 81
    Swineson says:

    Matt Lucas in drag.

  82. 82
    Molar says:

    if she canvassed me with bad breath and spinach in her teeth, I would offer her a personal floss job free of charge.

  83. 83
    what time is the 9 O'clock news says:

    Did it say what year?

  84. 84
    resurgemus says:

    wasn’t that Phil Woolas ?

  85. 85
    Steve Expat says:

    The local election, or the general election?

    We all know the local election is on 6th May, has been the case for a while now…

  86. 86
    A liberal Liberal says:

    Give her a break. It could have been the Clegg said “come in number 31″.

  87. 87
    Doctor and Major says:

    I am unhappy about this.
    Me too

  88. 88
    iain says:

    Nice knockers though

  89. 89

    these fucking MP’s have been flossing us for years !

  90. 90
    Disaffected says:

    She can afford not to claim some things she just had a pay rise. Scounging Slug. Voters of her consituency give her the boot.

  91. 91
    John Prescott says:

    Did someone say kippers?

  92. 92

    Because they are the 29% who BENEFIT from a Lie-Bore government !

  93. 93
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Oh, Susanna, he’s happy as can be
    For he’s got him something
    Better than a banjo on his knee.

    Courtesy of Paint Your Wagon.

  94. 94
    Martin Day says:

    How about it Lord Ashcroft you shit ??

    Labour peer and party donor Lord Paul yesterday agreed to end his non-dom tax status.

    He then challenged controversial Tory donor Lord Ashcroft to follow him and publish his tax returns of the past 20 years.

    Steel magnate Lord Paul said he would pay full UK taxes next year when new laws require members of the House of Lords to be residents here for tax purposes.

    His announcement came a week after billionaire Lord Ashcroft also admitted he was non-domiciled and would start paying full UK taxes. But Lord Paul insisted his situation was totally different to that of Lord Ashcroft. He said: “They have been caught with their pants down and what better than try to reflect on others.

    “First of all, I am born in India. He was the only one who was asked to pay full taxes. Nobody asked me. I have always been open about my non-domiciled status.”

    The Labour peer said he would be happy to publish his tax returns for the past 20 years and said all in the Lords, including Ashcroft, should do the same. He also revealed a police probe into his House of Lords expenses had cleared him.

  95. 95

    Yes its only locall but dont they hold them on the sanme day ?

  96. 96
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    That’s got to be a brownie point for Guido Fawkes. Next you’ll be telling us you have a writ and it might just stand up in court. Don’t let the fame go to your head though. You’ll have to be joining Steven Purcell in the land of Oz (except he’s not there at all!).

    AH (C)

  97. 97

    Dear Darling
    The date for the budget is the 24th March

    I’ll send you over what you must read out before then.
    In the meantime don’t say or do anything. Don’t even leave the office.
    If Ii see as much as an eyebrow of you on the news Ii’ll rip your face off.
    Your best friend

    PS – wear a brown suit.

  98. 98
  99. 99
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’d guess it was brown hinting that he wants to postpone spending cuts for another year (only hinting in that the announcement wasnt official at the time).
    Suggests QE might start again.

  100. 100
    David Cameron says:


    Gordon told porkies at Chilcott, coroner says soldiers not properly equipped, generals issue statement that Gordon is disengenuous, Gordon visits Afghanistan in blatant attempt to boost his image, 6 soldiers killed inside a week.

    What shall I bring up at PMQs? Global warming, ring fencing foreign aid or the economy?

  101. 101
    fuck me! we only knew that months ago says:


  102. 102
    Jack says:


    bum waxers

    They really are an inspiiring bunch of MPs don’t you think ?

    They think of everything (for themselves)

  103. 103
    MI5 says:


    I have said before…

    You have given her 2 X her statutory 15 minutes of fame..

    If you go on like this she will be re-elected..

    So change thread quick please….

  104. 104
    Sweaty Balls says:

    Don’t cross the Forces of Hell.

  105. 105
    what time is the 9 O'clock news says:

    The currency markets have no honor, no loyalty, they don’t buy labour, they don’t sell tories, they simply buy and sell currencies and inthe transaction make loadsamoney.

    It is a simple fact that apart from the banks and currency exchange shops when some punters are making money on currency exchange another set of punters have to be losing.

    It is very noticeable that since the end of brown’s sppeec tha £ has further plummeted and a few minutes ago fell below $1.49

    Says it all. no need for polls

  106. 106
    M&S Underwear Buyer says:

    No -they are being held up by a pair of Clegg’s underpants.

  107. 107

    You seen to have got your teeth into her you naughty boy

  108. 108
    REEVO says:

    In truth I don’t begrudge her a tooth flosser, would be happy to buy her a drink too, and most likely flowers, dinner and breakfast.

    Lets face it, I probably have…….

  109. 109
    J.Presclott ( five bellies, two Jags & two inches ) says:

    Or the fooking Two BogSeats from Hull.

  110. 110
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Not like in the good old days when we had John major.

    Ah, but they had Mitterand.

  111. 111
    MI5 says:

    Ring fencing dogs I think today…

    Of real national importance while the Pound collapses…

  112. 112
    Diary says:


    And no one who is white will be allowed to vote.

  113. 113
    MI5 says:

    Lord Paul is being investigated by the House of Lords for clear thieving…

    He even admitted he fiddled his overnight expenses…FFS

  114. 114
    Peter Grimes says:

    29 I would make her ‘keep (t)he(i)r head(s) down and atone for (t)he(i)r sins because i would be (en)gorged with a sense of entitlement!

  115. 115
    David Cameron says:

    My gag especially for Jo Swinson

    when i was a kid, i can remember pulling sharply on the seat belt in dads car and it suddenly stopped, but when i pulled the seat belt slowly, it continued to unwind with no issues. So i asked my dad:

    Me: “Why does the seat belt do that?”
    Dad: “Inertia”
    Me: “Whats Inertia”
    Dad: “Kilmarnock”

  116. 116

    another subject of staggering pettiness

  117. 117
  118. 118

    Yawn Yawn Fucking yawn keep the history lesson
    Lord Appaul is more news than this old story !

    Privy councillor ! he can empty my privy

  119. 119
    Moley says:

    I can buy dental floss for about £1.40, and tooth brushes and tooth paste are pretty cheap too.

    Why does an MP need to spend £19.10 on a tooth flosser?

    This is why there is such scepticism about deficit reduction plans.

    If our MPs cannot change their behaviour, they have absolutely no prospect of imposing austerity on the rest of us.

    Market movements have many attributes which can be described by the laws of physics. They have mass, (the number of transactions), and they have velocity, (the rate of change in prices or values; rising or falling).

    Market movements have momentum, which is why they always overshoot.

    Brown is playing a very dangerous game with our futures. If he allows the deterioration in the pound and falling confidence in gilts to continue to build up, it will become unstoppable.

    Our Chancellor would be left in the position of trying to stop an express train travelling at 100 mph by standing in front of it.

  120. 120
    Sarah Tweet says:

    Anyone still wanting to run in the Edinburgh Marathon or Hairy Haggis Team Relay on 23rd May? [via PiggyBankKids]

  121. 121
  122. 122
    D L George says:

    Bl**dy hell it’s a sea of red.

    We’re not only down on every currency, were currently running a 12 month low on all of these…
    Australian Dollar, New Zealand, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, S Korea, India, Israel, Norway, South Africa, Sweden, Turkey, Canada, Mexico and Brazil.

    WTF happened?

  123. 123
    Job Center says:

    Both you and your huband will be free for the Hairy Haggis relay on 23rd May.

  124. 124
    D L George says:


  125. 125
    Porkbusters says:

    Was she flipping though ?

  126. 126
    Sarah Twatter says:

    My husband. My hero and a hopeless Hairy Haggis.

  127. 127
    Hang The Bastards says:

    What a slag. Why does the useless bitch think I should pay for her gnashers out of my hard earned stolen wages.

    Get a grip you stupid cow

  128. 128
    Hugh Janus says:

    “How is it possible for even 29% of 1000 people polled to want this nutcase to remain in control of the UK?”

    Well, DC? Can you explain this?

  129. 129
    Steve Expat says:

    Pound just dropped a cent against the dollar – obviously Gordon’s non-speech going down as expected by the markets…

  130. 130
    Doctor Mick says:

    To be fair, Brown’s underpants are washed in Persil. You try focussing on reality with your Y-fronts in tatters.

  131. 131
    Peasants shoved aside says:

    Soapy Swraj has told the Indian press that as an NRI he pays his tax in the UK. Let’s see Swraj’s tax returns. Oh, yes, there are the videos of the poor peasants being turned off their land with extreme police violence in Singur, Bengal to make room for factories from which they will not benefit. So that Nabob Paul can carry out his Hindu mumbo-jumbo (speaking as a secularist, I make no apologies) in first turf cutting for one of his thirty planned factories in India. British Jobs for British workers said a Labour Prime Minister. A greater India is Lord Paul’s real aim. UK is a means to an end.

  132. 132
    Steve Expat says:

    The locals are definitely on May 6th, the date for the General has not yet been announced by bottler Brown, but is idds on to be the same date.

  133. 133
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Sara’s Hairy Haggis. I feel quite ill.

  134. 134
    Steve Expat says:

    Might even be Odds On :)

  135. 135
    Kelvin McKenzie says:

    Dog pounds? Pounding dogs – Swinson?

  136. 136
    Merv kosherKing says:

    Weimar. Your spelling’s devalued.

  137. 137
    Dorset voter says:

    Now look here. All you south Dorset johnnies must jolly well get down to the polling station pronto on the big day. Put your x alongside the great candidate for the Conservative party, Richard Grosvenor Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax. He’s got a small pile of seven and a half thousand acres down there and he knows the place jolly well, so they can’t say he doesn’t live in the constituency. And don’t let them tell you that because his family made their millions from slavery that there’s anything wrong with this chap’s attitude nor that the Conservative Party is the party of priviledge.

  138. 138
    Redshield says:

    Fucked if I know.

  139. 139
    Doctor Mick says:

    Nicely spaced out teeth – why does she need floss I wonder? And why does she expect the taxpayer to pay for it?

    I tried to nick some stuff from M&S once. The store detectives got me at the exit. But I fully accepted their decision, returned the goods and “moved on”. So that was alright then.

  140. 140
    David Blanchflower says:

    me too boss.

  141. 141
    Frank Hebert says:

    How else would Blair have babes?

  142. 142
    Martin Day says:

    Nice one Asda and thank you

    Supermarket giant Asda is to offer David Cameron the chance of a week’s worth of “real” work experience rather than simply making tea or running errands, it was announced today.

    David Cameron will get the chance to work in stock control, delivery and customer services this year, Asda said.

  143. 143
    buy, buy, buy says:

    that’s Kirsty Allslop in her slimmer days.

  144. 144
    Anonymous #1 says:

    In my experience – not extensive, I’d admit – kipper girls never say no. I suppose they are trying to compensate for that lack of self-esteem.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    What’s she like from the back?

  146. 146
    Alan Douglas says:

    I hink the taxpayer should take care of her gnockers…

    Alan Douglas

  147. 147
    D L George says:

    Jeez, Brown so much as hints on more sh*t policy and the pound goes wobbly at the knees. If He (rather than Darling) get’s his filthy mitts on the budget, what the hells it going to do then?

    Post from a little earlier in the wrong thread (I need coffee)
    Bl**dy hell it’s a sea of red.

    We’re not only down on every currency, were currently running a 12 month low on all of these…
    Australian Dollar, New Zealand, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, S Korea, India, Israel, Norway, South Africa, Sweden, Turkey, Canada, Mexico and Brazil.

  148. 148
    lassie says:

    compromise – dog pounds?

  149. 149
    D. Ram-Buie says:

    A stink wi’ the ’45…

  150. 150
    Gorfons Blownit says:

    Never say that Guido is not willing to find excuses to put up tottie pictures

  151. 151
    Tom (Peeping) says:

    I don’t say this often, but Jo – close the curtains love…

  152. 152
  153. 153
    Tolpddle Totty says:

    Thanks for the information. He sounds to me like a good candidate who knows his way around. This is definitely the sort of person we need to sort out the mess left by the rabble who have had 13 years at wrecking everything they touch. He has got my vote and I will recommend him to all my family and friends.

  154. 154
    A helpful shelf-stacker at Asda says:

    It’s labelled as a “lavatory brush”, sir. Aisle 32, next to the buckets.

  155. 155
    Oswald the Optometrist says:

    And didn’t have failing eyesight …

  156. 156
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    We really need to ring fence her boobs.

  157. 157
    Scallywag says:

    I would be more than happy to sign her expenses claim form…

  158. 158
    Willi Windbeutel says:

    Hugh, get yourself one of these digital radio thingies. The one I’ve got is programmable. It learns to recognize voiceprints. All it takes is one syllable of Pesto and the station changes to Cretinous Inferno FM (my fave pop station). Same goes for Germaine Greer and the entire Labour front bench.

  159. 159
    It's that man again... says:

    Directors of PiggyBankKids Projects

    Lord Paul of Marylebone (Chair), Sarah Brown, Gil McNeil, David Boutcher

  160. 160
    Heir-to-Blair says:

    Dave is always brilliant at PMQs

  161. 161
    Doc Trough says:


    Please somebody. Stop Osborne talking about “fixing the roof while the sun was shining”. It makes him sound like Huckleberry Finn.

  162. 162
    Bustaflush says:

    you need specsavers

  163. 163
    thick as thieves says:

    Message to Guido

    Put up or shut up

  164. 164
    Gissa job. I can do that says:

    Pay freeze for senior salaried public sector workers.
    Except MP’s who are classed as unskilled Labour.

  165. 165
    filipinomonkey says:

    Tut genghiz, you can’t correct a mistake if you’ve never made one…

  166. 166
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    The thing I find ironic about that is that the first act of the labour government at the local school at the time was indeed to fix its leaking roof.

    (I hadn’t heard that particular aging chestnut for ages actually)

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Good point.

    “Prime Minister Tony Blair has promised that everybody will have easy access to an NHS dentist within the next two years.” – BBC News, Sept. 28th 1999.

    How’s that promise bearing up, I wonder?

  168. 168
    Tooth Hurty says:

    This is the one expense which is seems reasonable to me.

    A good flossing is essential for MPs – it helps them lie through their teeth.

  169. 169
    Mr Ned says:

    Or come into/come over???.

  170. 170
    Doctor Mick says:

    Have you not heard of the writ of Habeas Blogus

    Show me the blog!

    Put up or shut up indeed.

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    She needs them to bite the heads off small babies.

  172. 172
    Brown is a top drawer A1 Hoon says:

    Is Gorgon going to miss PMQs again today? Cameron better go for the jugular this time. He’s been FAR too easy on him in recent weeks.

  173. 173
    Pensioner says:

    Back in 2008 Brown said he would send all the unemployed on a loft insulating course and then send them round to my house and make it more fuel efficient.
    I’m still waiting, I don’t want to go out shopping in case I miss them. Should I phone him up and ask him when they are coming.

  174. 174
    Mr Ned says:

    And had been deprived of sex for 20 years.

  175. 175
    Real Voter says:


  176. 176
    A man with a rock says:

    I’m not a vet, but I’ll still put him down free of charge.

  177. 177
    Mr Ned says:

    VERY interesting link. especially the BBC banner at the top with the big red communist star on it.

    The BBC showed their political bias blatantly on that page!

  178. 178
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    I would charge people to watch!

  179. 179
    thick as thieves says:

    Please direct your inquiry to my very good friend Lord Ashcroft

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    What’s deeply unpleasant and frequently found in Gordon Brown’s underpants?

    Gordon Brown.

  181. 181
    Steve Expat says:

    He’s doing a reasonable job at the moment on the Beeb.

    “The country will judge Gordon Brown on his record in government”

  182. 182
    Your country needs you David Cameron says:

    I can simply no longer watch this very sad man Gordon Brown.

    How can this once great country have a system that allows us to be run by an unelected violent psychopath who is a congenital power crazed liar. It is plainly obvious to the whole world that Brown is sick and deluded and in need of help.

    Plainly I am no constitutional expert but had he not bottled the election he could have won just how sick would he have had to get before the system removed him?

  183. 183
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    But Wee Willie is much better

  184. 184
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    They might have closed the book.

  185. 185
    angelnstar says:

    Well it was smart of you to clarify, hahahaha. Very funny.

  186. 186
    angelnstar says:

    Another huge laugh from me this morning. Gordon on SKY saying to the country “I won’t let you down!” Hahahahaha, are you kidding us…….

  187. 187
    Doc Trough says:

    That’s better. Now we need a Victim Restitution Order.

  188. 188
    Doris says:

    Brown tells lies all the time. You should call Downing st and remind them of this particular lie and see what they say.

  189. 189
  190. 190
    MI5 says:


    For information

    My French brokers (major French bank not named) have just sent me a research note stating

    “The most worrying case is the UK
    Its public debt has risen from 44.1% of GDP before the crisis to 99.7% now…
    and its deficit exceded 12% of GDP in 09…”

    Then recommend “shorting sterling and UK Gilts…”

    So you know where some of the shorting is coming from…

  191. 191
  192. 192
    Old Nick Heavenly(real dimwit) says:

    Is there anything about Great Britney that is not completely flucked by this utterly moronic government?


  193. 193
    Sir William Waad says:

    This feature has attracted some of the stupidest and most ungentlemanly comments that I have ever seen, outside Guns & Ammo magazine’s Children’s Corner Blog. If matters don’t improve I will cancel my subscription.

  194. 194
    Forces of Hell says:

    I’m at my wits end today
    put BBC2 on for DP/PMQs and what do I find – Jacqui Shit MP on talking about crime. Whay does she still get access to the media when we all know she is SHITE?

  195. 195
    Lord Ashcroft Bad Lord Paul Good says:

    To be fair this is a true statement. My expectation is that he will keep fu**ing the country dry. We all know he will.

  196. 196
    Jim says:

    If my remote ancestors made any money from slavery (which given my Celtic heritage is less than likely) I would be less than impressed to be pilloried for it by some fuckwit like you.

    Has Gordon apologised for the battle of Marathon yet?

  197. 197
    Dorset voter says:

    There’s a slight difference between this upper class twat “standing” for election and the relationship between Gordon Brown and the battle of Marathon. Can you see what it might be?

  198. 198
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, you’re quite correct. What is important to note is that how Drax is a representative and typical figure who really understands the problems of contemporary Britain.

  199. 199
    Dave H. says:

    Did you know she once gained a 6% swing from John Prescott? Now that’s a revelation.

  200. 200
    Derek Draper says:

    Good to know Jo is considerate of my toot.

  201. 201
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Slavery? Get over it you dope. There is nobody alive today who was involved in the slave trade. Just let it go. Try and concentrate on the social injustices of today rather than some imagined responsibility that your guilty conscience tells you you should have for offences from hundreds of years ago.

    My Grandfather and Father killed a fair number of Germans between them. Am I responsible for that?

  202. 202
    dutchy holland says:

    As a conservative voter in East Dunbartonshire believe me Jo Swinson is a really hard working and well liked MP serving her constituency well irrespective of political colour. A rare commodity in socialist ‘snouts in the trough Scotland’ where the uneducated/unqualified idiots help themselves out of the public purse.

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    When are the Italians going to apologise for invading Briton to obtain a supply of slaves? When are the Algerians going to apologise for raiding Cornwall for slaves in the 1620s and 30s? When are the Americans going to apologise for breaking free from a nation which had just agreed that slavery in the mother country was illegal less the UK courts impose that decision on self-governing colonies? When are the Middle East countries going to apologise for still recruiting slaves from the Philippines and Sudan.

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    I would like to have sexual intercourse with her.

  205. 205
    Abolish men says:

    Hey Jo, that feminism really worked did’nt it. Now you can do the cooking and cleaning AND go to work. Just super!
    Or you can get another woman to do it. Order her to clean those chips off your shoulders while she’s there.

  206. 206
    Anonymous says:

    Assumptive fucker – referring to troughing slags in general not Jo Swinson in particular.

  207. 207
    Den Tist says:

    But is she telling the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

  208. 208
    Ed says:

    Why not?

  209. 209
    Jo Swansong says:

    Fangs couldn’t be better.

  210. 210
    g1lgam3sh says:

    I’ll stay for the veal.

  211. 211


    Sarah Teather is cute – and she knows how to run an office…

  212. 212
    g1lgam3sh says:

    She’s made all this effort just for most of us to tell her to fuck off…at least she’s following the Party line.

  213. 213
    A Wanker says:

    I would just like Jo to know that i have cracked one out over her, so thanks Jo for your pictures on google images providing me with hand shuffle orgasm.

  214. 214
    Richard Desmond says:

    You would not find her on TelevisionX

  215. 215
    Casey Jones says:

    Can I drive the train?

  216. 216
    IainM says:

    I would like to get acqauinted with her oriface! Good to see she looks after her teeth, probably no gum diseases then?

  217. 217
    IainM says:

    It is actually less than 29% but then opinion polls are even more fiddled than this govts stats!

  218. 218
    IainM says:

    Yes it is hard to stomach the Aussies referring to the Pound as the Peso now!

  219. 219
    IainM says:

    Sick man of the world you mean. Even crap against the Philipine Peso, the wife being a Filpina is now calling Sarah by the name of Imelda!

  220. 220
    IainM says:

    I recommend at least a truck as a wheelbarrow will not suffice!

  221. 221
    IainM says:


  222. 222
    Roger Knightly says:

    …aha, married!

  223. 223
    JonBoy says:

    Wonder who her target would be. Mmmmm

  224. 224
    Bearsden Tory says:

    Think the LibDems are loopy on many things. But this “burd”, to use the Glasgow parlance, is one hell of a hard worker for her constituents. So give the girl a break.

  225. 225
    JonBoy says:

    Didnt Balls and Cooper play 69 with their houses? Thats a fair bit more naughty than what poor wee Jo has done. Wonder if they claimed on any electrical “goods”.

  226. 226
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    I like to think I’m quite topical/up-to-date/modern/with it [sic]/”a breast” of things . . . but, who the feck is she?

  227. 227
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Have just re-read this . . . . . why the feck, should some unknown tart expect HM Taxpayer, to pick up the tab for her tooth floss???? Piano wire, yes! Tooth floss . . . no! What the feck?! This floozy is a thief in my book . . . and fecking stupid at that.

    My turds have more class than she does.

  228. 228
  229. 229
    Jib jab says:

    She needs all the help she can get – she’s butt-ugly without her make-up.

  230. 230
    Jib jab says:

    Duncan Hames, I assume.

    Why should the taxpayer shell out so he can get a blowjob from his MP girlfriend without bits of stray food chafing him?

  231. 231
    Bill Clinton says:

    Did someone say kippers?

  232. 232
    Liberal Democrat says:


    She’s as thick as a plank.

    “Good constituency MP” = euphemism for “idiot”.

  233. 233
    Jib jab says:

    She’s got some serious gap teeth there.

    Obviously needs a lot of flossing done.

  234. 234
    Javelin says:

    A Feminist once told me Feminism was about CHOICES FOR WOMEN.

    As I pointed out what she meant was TAKING OPTIONS FROM MEN.

    She too looked like a PIG IN LIPSTICK.

  235. 235
    Lipstick on My Helmet says:

    Tell this heavy bitch to get her head down and keep gobbling, then we might look into the floss expenses. She also looks like she can gargle before swallowing.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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