Monday, March 8, 2010

Guy News : Lord Paul’s Pension Steel

This week’s Guy News interviewed Sam Dunkerley, a pensioner who worked at an engineering firm taken over by Gordon’s non-domiciled financial backer, Lord Swraj Paul. Emily reports on what happened to the firm’s pension fund and how bitter Mr Dunkerley feels about Lord Paul’s donations to the Labour Party: “Lord Paul has been bank-rolling the Labour Party with our money”.

TB reports on the ermine vermin problem at the Lords and we go inside Steve Hilton’s Zen Space. We also have an official declaration from Lord Evil, the non-domiciled backer of Guy News, stating his clear and transparent financial position. Enjoy.

This Is What a Feminist Looks Like

Sticking with the International Women’s Day theme, Guido had to chuckle when he saw that Jo Swinson, the chairman of the Liberal Democrat’s “Real Women” campaign, will be chairing a panel of feminists today. The Campaign for Body Confidence will look into “combating body image pressure felt by women and girls today.” Funny Ms. Swinson doesn’t quite practice what she preaches. Was it body image pressure that led her to claim a £27.94 receipt from Boots, including £5 for eyeliner, a £5 lip liner and £12 for “R&M Eye Kit” on her expenses? Not forgetting the electric toothbrush and hair-dryer. The Fees Office drew the line at the £19.10 tooth flosser.

Balls Up

It is election time so 18 year-olds get birthday greetings from politicians. Here is Ed’s slightly scary welcome. He pretends to be interested in their views on the economy and such like.  Though question 7 - “Will you deliver leaflets for Ed down your road?” – gives you a better idea as to Ed’s true motivation in contacting teenagers.  Question 6 seems a particularly stupid question…

Absolutely Brilliant Feminists

To celebrate International Women’s Day Guido thought he would share an intimate email exchange between close friends, all devout feminists,  in the run up to last year’s event.  Draper was working away at LabourList and thought he would titillate the boys a little:

From: James Macintyre
To: Roger Liddle; Derek Draper
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 14:38:18
Subject: FW: CV

Roger, Derek, this guy is super bright, and Labour, and finishing an internship with NS this week. If you have a place for him..or if there is anyone you might be able to forward to..

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:14
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

is he cute though?

www.labourlist.org
www.flowvideo.co.uk
www.diy-therapy.com
020 7486 ████
MIND Journalist of the Year 2007/8

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper; Roger Liddle
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:07:35

I knew that would be your response!

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:19
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

what’s the answer, though?

(if you are single you should pop in here on friday morning as we have the delectable rowenna davies here guest editing labourlist for international womens day)

fowrad to a harman led labour party

x

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper; Roger Liddle
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:15:49

He is very tall, handsome in a bookish sort of way. Very █████ and █████.

I am very much single and in need to remedy that. I ███ █████ ███ ██ Friday – who is this woman? Otherwise will have to try and pull Harman..

x

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:26
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

he sounds like a queer

(she says she’s a freelance journalist, quite lefty, very beautiful)

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:24:35

well you called her delectable then appeared not to know her – anyway i see she is now v v fit – ridiculously beautiful – why she editing it – so you can look at her?

NO BECAUSE I AM LEADING A RADICAL OONLINE MOVEMENTA ND I HAVE ALWAYS EMBREACED THE FEMINIST CAUSE

thanks for emailing the labour woman – please let me know what her response is however negative – even if she says “i have heard he is a total wanker” as i know she will reply to you. x

OK

No wonder Ms. Davies wasn’t too impressed with her day in the office, she later wrote:  ”When I first met the site’s regular editor Derek Draper and his all-male staff to discuss potential questions for an online survey, he suggested with a grin that I ask “Is domestic violence always wrong?” and then spent the rest of the afternoon trying to set me up with James Purnell.”  Clearly a confused bunch.

Happy Women’s Day everyone…

*Some parts redacted on taste grounds.

EyeSpys Lord Rennard Expense Maximising

Lord Rennard got off having to repay expenses he had fiddled by claiming his main London home was his holiday home.  He claimed he spent his weekends at his flat in Eastbourne.

Indicative of the truth is that he was spotted by an EyeSpier sweating in Millbank on Saturday night.

Monday Morning Cartoon



Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC
Time For Single Income Tax | Matt Sinclair
Tech City CEO About to Go Bust | Kernal
Goodbye Guto | Guardian
Hunt Under Investigation | ITV
“Hungarian Little Fascist” | Scrapbook
Beecroft Leak | Telegraph
Guido’s Column | Daily Star Sunday
2020 Tax Final Report | TPA
€ Crisis Ripe for Creative Destruction | Guardian
Naughty Steve Hilton | Bruce Anderson
Time to Embrace 30% Tax | City AM
Greeks Withdrawing Bank Cash to Buy AK47s | Trevor Kavanagh
Why Replace Evil Empire With Stupid Empire? | Peter Hitchens
What Cuts? | Stephen Glover
No Time to Tinker | Fraser Nelson

Previously Seen


Peter Botting



Norman Tebbit has a humble brag:

“We Maastricht rebels were derided and abused for opposing the single currency by the wise, clever, Guardianista soft centre left establishment from whom we now hear so little on the matter.”



The last Quango in Paris says:

Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.



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